HOLY SEXUALITY AND THE GOSPEL || Dr. Christopher Yuan

would you pray with me father we thank you for every good and perfect gift Lord we know that you are the author of Life help us Lord to live according to your word help us Lord to be Salt and Light and we ask this in Jesus name amen we are living in a world of infinite Shades of Gray not just 50. ambiguity is a virtue today did you know that the less clear you are the better if you actually like assert a truth that's closed-minded and sexual freedom and gender gender identity is becoming the religion of the land the the cult if I could say of the land and the deception of our historical epic is this your sexual desires Define you determine you and should always Delight you but since the fall of Adam and Eve the human heart has set itself into Defiance against God's perfect ways this idolatry of sexual freedom fortunately is on a collision course with the gospel because my life was on a collision course with the gospel I talked here the previous hour as we looked at the different passages on the arguments that people will make about you know same-sex relationships is it sin is it not is the word homosexual in here or not or all the different passages Romans 1 to Leviticus and so you could go to the Main Street Church website and and watch that if you weren't here but I'm going to start this talk with that assumption that sax is reserved for husband and wife in marriage with that being said how do we now love those who disagree how do we share Christ with our loved ones and friends who identify as gay lesbian bisexual or even transgender or how do we even minister to individuals who might struggle with same-sex attractions because for many what we Proclaim doesn't seem like good news actually seems like bad news so how how do we do that um before we kind of get into that um you know we have our books and I think they are I think we're out um but they're on Amazon um and um I also mentioned my curriculum which I would love for you to help me get the word out we're not going with a traditional publisher because publishing houses regardless if they're Christian or not it's the bottom line curriculums don't make much money and at any point they could just say we're done we're not going to publish anymore um or I mean as you know even Amazon they don't publish everything they choose what's on there or not and they are authors like me who've written on sexuality that they canceled so I didn't want that to happen so I'm actually going on my own website at holysexuality.com that I own and so I'm not going to cancel myself but that's available there but the downside of that is that I don't have as many distribution channels so I just need your help to help get the word out um and actually we're actually thinking about changing this from homosexuality to teen curriculum to actually more what it really is this is Holy sexuality for parents and their kids it's specifically for parents and their kids and grandparents and their grandkids uh it's not just like it's this is not specific like for a team to kind of pick it up and look at it no we want families to come together parents and their kids together get together grandparents and their grandkids to get together and do what God wants us to do and discuss his truth his gospel discuss biblical sexuality the the goal of this curriculum is actually to empower our youth to understand Embrace and celebrate biblical sexuality so you can help get the word out but it's not just going to be a video like a talking head we're going to use some animation and I did a video um in the uh a year and a half ago and I just want to show you this video you can view this on my YouTube channel and it uses some animation and Motion Graphics so I'm just going to start this up [Music] what would you say because the search defined a definitive biological cause for sexual orientation has been largely unsuccessful it has continued to change for example many people aren't aware that scientists long ago abandoned any search for a single Master Gene that dictates sexual orientation or most behaviors for that matter because we now know that's not how genes work today the search has shifted to whether or not there is any genetic component to one's sexual orientation and if there is what kind of role does it play in determining who we are sexually attracted to still people will often assume that there must be a genetic source for sexual orientation and we'll talk about it as if it is settled science but it's not so the next time you're in a conversation and someone says being gay is genetic here are three things to remember number one genetics only play a small role in determining sexual orientation the most recent study on genetics and same-sex sexual behavior was published in 2019 one of the largest searches ever conducted for genes linked to sexual orientation it demonstrated just how difficult it is to link homosexuality to genetics based on their findings the researchers estimated that genetic factors might be able to explain only 8 to 25 percent of all non-heterosexual Behavior in fact they could only identify five possible DNA markers not five genes but five markers and those five markers could only explain less than one percent of all non-heterosexual behavior and even this study has yet to be replicated and confirmed furthermore it's important to understand that genes Express themselves in all sorts of ways for instance one of the strongest associations researchers found to gay male attractions was a gene linked to male baldness but of course not all gay men are bald nor are all bald men gay genes just aren't as clear-cut as many think so far the studies we have suggest that genetics simply don't play as significant a role in determining sexual orientation as is often claimed on the other hand scientists do recognize environmental influences ranging from hormonal exposures while babies are in the womb to social influences they experience later in life so even if there are genetic components to sexual orientation there are certainly not the only influences number two genetics cannot predict whether a person is gay or straight the scientists conducting this study concluded that even with all the markers together they cannot predict whether a person is gay bisexual or straight another way to say this is a predisposition is not equivalent to a predetermination in other words it's quite possible for a person to be born with a predisposition but that predisposition does not predetermine their life experiences nor can it predict their behaviors in fact the data shows that sexual orientation is not as fixed as activists often claim Dr Lisa Diamond a self-identified feminist scientist and lesbian psychologist at the University of Utah has provided extensive research demonstrating that sexual orientation is fairly fluid not fixed especially among women while genetics May at a small level influence sexual attraction it's not necessarily an immutable reality which brings up the third point sexuality is not who you are it's how you are in any discussion about sexual orientation it's important to remember that sexual attraction is something we experience it's an existential reality it's essential refers to things like our behaviors actions feelings desires and passions however conversations about sexuality often move from the existential realm to the ontological realm in other words the claim here's who I am attracted to quickly becomes this is who I really am ontology has to do with issues of essence to personhood or existence but sexual attraction is not essential to our existence so it should not be talked about in ontological terms attraction is something we all experience and is often outside of our control experiencing same-sex sexual attraction is not a choice but acting out it is experiencing any attraction or any desire doesn't justify a decision to act on it this is a difficult and personal topic for many as we discuss what is true we must remember that anyone asking this question and everyone who experiences same-sex attraction are created in the image of God with all the value and dignity which that entails so next time you're in a conversation and someone says being gay is genetic remember these three things number one genetics only play a small role in determining sexual orientation number two genetics cannot predict whether a person is gay or straight number three sexuality is not who you are it's how you are for what would you say I'm Christopher Yuan [Music] the um the curriculum will be using Motion Graphics and animation and kinetic typography with those words like this but actually much better we're pretty excited we we have some animators and illustrators Motion Graphics agency that that has done some great stuff kind of like Bible projects type of stuff you guys familiar with that so really high quality stuff and if you're not familiar with with animation they charge by second um and we have 275 hours of videos to animate they're not going to be full complete but still 90 minutes of Animation is very very costly um but we have some very generous donors um my father also sets stuff aside and so this this is a project that's well into six figures us um so we're super excited about this and we can't wait and so please help us to get the word out about this how do we in light of you know that biblical sexuality this is this really is good news but how do we share this good news with others but we need to realize we're doing a a poor job there's a survey that yes ask Young Americans what do you think about Christians and what they found was actually quite depressing we are viewed to be confusing not accepting boring and sensitive Out of Touch Too politicals old-fashioned hypocritical judgmental and you know what's at the very very top anti-homosexual look at those numbers 91 of those not raised in the church and yet eight out of ten of our own Youth and Young adults believe that we are anti-gay that is wrong the gospel is not against anyone it's not against people it's for people turning from their sins and turning to Jesus but it's for people and so should we be four people but unfortunately people's perception is their reality so how can we do a better job at engaging on this topic I'm going to be going through and there's going to be lots and lots of notes if you like my notes just like in the previous hour you can scan this QR code and the shortened URL there will get you the same thing if you don't know what a QR code is that's okay this shortened URL will be in the bottom right hand corner and if you were there here for the first hour you would realize that I've got lots of information I don't I don't want your hand to fall off so get this it's free you might be asked to sign up for Dropbox you don't have to you can just kind of X out of that and then just get my notes and you could also do this on your own computer so you can get this as well I'm going to be centering my talk about four main points and the first thing before we do anything else before we look at anyone else we need to look at ourselves and we need to be convicted about our own sin first when I lived as a gay man I felt Christians were telling me somehow that gays and lesbians deserved a hotter place in hell that Jesus had to hang on the cross a little bit longer for those who identified as gay that's not true yes saying sexual relationships are sinful but it's not the worst sin and yet sometimes we give that impression that it's one of those horrible I mean it's an Abomination we will say and as I talked about last hour it is an Abomination but you know what else the Bible says in Abomination Proverbs 6 says there are six things that God hates seven that are an Abomination listing things like Pride cheating lying causing dissension so when was the last time your friend was prideful and you say you are abomination maybe we should because then we wouldn't trivialize sin that really Grieves the heart of God but oh well you know it's it's just it it it disgusts me and of course we should never feel trivial about Sin but I wonder that when someone says oh that's disgusting are they disgusted about their own sin you know uh you know I think that feeling of discussion is just a fraction a reminder for us that it's just a fraction of what God feels so when he looks at our own sin so our sin is just as odious in God's eyes than someone else's sin because at the end of the day you know what I hope more than anything else is that people would follow Jesus but that's never done through a whole earth and thou attitude have you ever met anyone who came to Jesus Through Being prideful oh I came to Jesus this older lady she was just so pompous I've never heard that before ever it's gentleness humility conviction about our own sin that draws people not Pride so number one before anything else let's be convicted about our own sin that leads to humility the second thing let's be consistent in three ways first of all regarding relationships what is your relationship status are you married or are you single because in our day we have such an elevation of marriage to the point where marriage is the only way to be happy singleness so sorry you're missing out and I know sometimes because I I say this and sometimes Christians like no no the world you know they don't they they celebrate singleness not really they're like look at look at the um uh you know the movie series friends I hear this sometimes they're all friends yeah but how did Friends end they all got married except for Joey and actually several of them got married several times throughout so I mean it's the world worships marriage it's so good you just have to do it many times that's the difference they redefine marriage so it's marriage is where it's all that that's the only way to be happy I mean that's how I I you know I don't know when was it that that Canada uh legalized same-sex marriage but for us in the U.S it was 2015. and I mean there was all this big push and it's like just listening to what people were talking about a marriage it was there was so much idolatry of marriage you know if we're denied marriage then then I have no no value marriage does not give you value it shouldn't if it does you're idolizing marriage I you know I I have no dignity then marriage should not give you dignity but I sometimes get that from Christians as well I think Christians we sometimes are at risk of idolizing marriage because you know one of the most deceptive forms of idolatry is when we try to worship something good good things aren't meant to be worshiped Jesus is meant to be worshiped and we see that you know you know you might think what does this have to do with my gay friend everything because if our hope for our gay friend or lesbian neighbor is that they would follow Jesus that always has to be number one I don't want my lesbian neighbor to now date a man because if they don't know Jesus they're in the same boat so number one follow Jesus through that relationship with Jesus they would go and sin no more which means they won't be in a same-sex relationship they would be single for a period in their life maybe a longer period in their life and if so do we have a healthy place for singles today for calling people out of sexual Brokenness do we have a place for singles to thrive in Christian Community today we don't we need to do a much better job you know the U.S has been following Canada when it comes to stingless because I know in Canada and actually the U.S has been this there are more single adults than there are married adults did you did you know that there are more single adults in Canada you've been that for maybe over a decade it's following Europe Europe has been that for a long long time there are more single adults I'm not talking about kids I'm not talking about youth single adults they're more single adults than there are married adults if so what are we doing today to intentionally reach out to singles what are we doing how can we be for evangelism if we're doing we're ignoring more than half of the adults in our own communities singleness we have to realize that with the place in single list Even in our church communities we think singleness is the equivalent to loneliness that's what my gay friends tell me what you're saying is you want me to be lonely for the rest of my life they're equating singleness with loneliness actually I see this as one of the main touch points for why our young adults are leaving the church they're leaving the faith because they're like I just don't get this you don't get what I don't get why God would not allow them to be in a relationship that they would have to be single that's so unfair as if sickleness is unfair that single is equivalent of loneliness and as a single man I'm 52 years old I know that sickness is not equivalent to loneliness because I know some people who are married and they're still miserably lonely so marriage is not the cure to loneliness you know what security loneliness that begins with a relationship with God and that is the cure to loneliness not another person but it's such a part of our culture I taught at Moody Bridal Institute it's pretty crazy what happens on campus where there's this fervor ring by Spring get that Mrs degree we we equate marriage to be happiness actually it's instilled in our kids as well little children they're told fairy tales how do all fairy tales end yes well first they get married and then they live happily ever after sorry Sally no more story to tell here that's the end they get married end of story no 10-year checkup no 20-year checkup hopefully they're still in even married but the real lesson we need to be teaching our kids is this it is not marriage that should bring you ultimate contentment it is the Lord Jesus Christ who should bring you ultimate contentment whether you find yourself married or whether you find yourself single that is so important we cannot idolize marriage I told my Moody students before he become one be whole before you become one in marriage be whole in Christ Jesus says the two shall become one flesh he didn't say the two have shall become one flesh it's the only time in math that one plus one equals one if you try to become whole in marriage you don't oftentimes what happens is a co-dependent mess we need to lift up the beauty and gift of marriage this is so important but I think we've done that at the expense of singleness so now singleness at best is a consolation prize I'm so sorry you're single singles you know what they need they need to be fixed that's why we want to fix them up with someone think about the word we use and we treat you know single I had a friend who was a missionary in China she went there right out of college as a single lady she was stayed there for five years came back after five years to the United States and when she was back on furlough she saw several of her friends she hadn't seen in a long time and when they got together they would I'll ask her questions like tell me about China tell me about your future Ministry plan and then personal things like are you dating anyone do you have anyone special in your life and each time she was honest no I don't you know how some of our friends responded can I pray for you it was as if she had cancer signalus is not cancer singleness is not a curse and yet we treat it like it is we treat it like the unbeatable burden you know it's so hard and you know you know and and I agree being a single man it's not easy but I've spoken to some married people and I hear that marriage at times can be not easy but with those difficulties come blessings in the same way marriage I mean singleness there are difficulties but there's also some blessings but notice what we're doing we're only focusing on the enormous challenge the enormous blessings of marriage and the enormous challenge of singlets see how this is certainly inconsistent and non-biblical you know we need to look to the word of God to see what God's word says about this and God's word says that not only single is good he calls it a gift you know but let me give you some advice for those of you in this room that aren't single anymore don't keep reminding your christian single friends that this is a gift I know very single very few singles that actually like that verse you know yay you know it's like the life verse sincerely first going to seven seven woohoo I don't know any signals like that you know usually it's like the in The Other Extreme like I don't know what Paul's talking about here it doesn't feel like actually what's the return policy on that gift you know if I still got the receipt can I give it back exchange it like a bad Christmas present I understand that you know because single list is not easy we can all agree you know that uh that marriage is a gift but few say what Paul says that singleness is a gift instead you know what people most people say about singleness they say singleness it's a calling you know you gotta make make sure you're really really called to be single you got to be either Superman or Wonder Woman which I don't know if you've noticed but most superheroes are single and their love interest is their weakness no wonder why our youth are so confused about marriage and singles because they're getting the wrong message you have to have superhuman Powers just to be single and the majority of my Christian friends are married they're happily married but they tell me marriage takes work I always have to be clear like I'm saying marriage not marriage [Applause] inconceivable anyone not know Princess Bride who doesn't know that if you haven't you've got no everyone's seen it here there are there's a few you're just embarrassed to raise your hand you actually cult until you watch that first so those of you that haven't watched it go on to YouTube actually I think they have it it's it's classic yeah love it's so good there's so many lines like I could just spend this whole hour just doing lines anyway where was I millage marriage so marriage we can all agree marriage is a gift you know and but but my married friends you know singles you know it's a calling my um the majority of my married friends they tell me that marriage takes work loving unconditionally not easy Paul says in Ephesians 5 husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church how by laying your life down for her amen wives amen so I don't know what husband that doesn't struggle with that nearly impossible calling so do you know what I say about marriage tongue-in-cheek I say marriage that's a calling seriously single list that's a gift I don't have to lay my life down for anyone yet but I'm not at all saying that somehow that singleness is better than the other I'm just looking at the full Council of God and recognizing that Godly marriage and godly singless are both gifts they're both good there we had we sh there are two sides of the same coin we should no longer only emphasize one over against the other because when we only talk about the goodness of marriage and saying nothing about singleness then single lists appears to be bad and if singleness is bad then Jesus is bad see how a faulty Theology of singleness actually leads to a faulty Theology of Christ we're not ready to address sexuality until we first redeem singleness today where our youth are like they're young adults they're just not getting married and they're shrugging responsibility and men they don't want to get into any type of relationship I mean isn't the solution to tell them to get married here's my answer no you know what's the solution for men who are shruggling responsibility and don't want to have any responsibility you know whatever they're afraid of commitment you know what's the solution be born again if a man is irresponsible before marriage the solution is not marriage so the solution is submit to Christ can I get an amen for that ladies do not marry a man and think you can fix him Jesus can I'm not saying though then look for a perfect man but look for someone who has the heart of God who's seeking after Christ so we need to see that that yes marriage is good single list I'm not talking and and I I struggle I'm not talking about like when I'm saying stimulus I'm not saying be single for other forever I'm just saying if you find yourself single that's not a bad thing I struggle with people that say I'm just going to be single for life because how do we know what tomorrow may bring anyone know what tomorrow may bring I don't I am single now but I'm not going to be I'm not saying I'm going to be single forever I know some people who are like no I could never get married that's some people who have same such attractions like myself who identify as gay they say I just have to be celibate like a priest celibacy is not grounded in scripture that's different from chastity but what they're doing is this I God could never who am I to say what God can and cannot do instead of doing this I do this God I don't know what tomorrow may bring but have your way I want to do your will I'm open to getting married I'm 52 so that would take a great miracle but I'm open Lord whatever have your way in me this is how I want to live and I tell my youth is you know young adults live like this that God you take my life you mold it you shape it so have your way second we need to consider consistent regarding relationships we need to consistent regarding sexuality what is God's standing when it comes to sexuality oh it's heterosexuality the Bible promotes heterosexuality you see my issue with heterosexuality is not that it's fully wrong it's just not fully right and when we're living in a world of infinite Shades of Gray let's not be gray as well let's not be ambiguous not just 50 Shades but infinite Shades of Gray we need to be very very clear my book if you've noticed it was black and white it was very intentional because it's not gray we're not living in a world of Gray God's truth God did not intend for his truth to be just I don't know we just need to agree to disagree that's that's where I'm hearing more and more people today speakers authors that are saying we just we just need to be less dogmatic we need to agree to disagree that's what the mainline denominations did 50 years ago on core Doctrine so what is sexuality it's heterosexuality it's too broad yes marriage between a man and a woman is something that God would bless but biblical marriage is not equivalent to heterosexuality I'll say it again biblical marriage is not equivalent to heterosexuality heterosexuality is much broader biblical marriage is only one example of heterosexuality for example I could be sleeping with half a dozen women and that's heterosexual I could be a married man and I'm cheating on my wife with another woman that's also heterosexual I could be an unmarried guy and I'm living with my girlfriend we have a couple children together that's also heterosexuality those three scenarios are all sinful in God's eyes God would never use a category so broad that includes sinful Behavior God would never ever do that you see as I said in in the first hour my favorite quote is from Charles Spurgeon discernment is not knowing the difference between right and wrong discernment is knowing the difference between right and almost right a five-year-old can say what's right or wrong that's not discernment the sermon is knowing the difference between right and almost right and right now in our world in our Christian schools in our churches and our denominations many are saying a lot of almost right things but the trajectory of those things lands off the gospel what is right heterosexuality it's too broad way too broad and besides it's a secular framework as a matter of fact I think the whole framework needs to just be set aside the whole heterosexual bisexual homosexual which essentially divides up Humanity according to our sexual desires does that even sound like something that God would want us to do divide us according to our sexual desires or any desire for that matter no let's let's set this Freudian framework aside and let's use a Biblical framework with Biblical categories not heterosexuality not homosexuality but holy sexuality and let me Define holy sexuality reading through the full concept of God there's only two paths that God lays out for us when it comes to sexuality first path is when you're single how are you going to live you're going to be sexually abstinent the other path is when you're not single and you are married and I'm and I'm using the biblical definition of marriage when you are married biblically married you're going to be faithful to your spouse of the opposite sex so holy sexuality in a nutshell is Chastity and singleness or faithfulness in marriage I'm using Chastity not abstinence because abstinence is more about the no Chastity is more positive yes toward Purity and holiness and I'm not using celibacy because I I know oftentimes the word celibacy and Chastity are used synonymous but actually in this conversation when it comes to sexuality celibacy has become more of a specific term almost like the priesthood a lifelong chosen vocation which is not talked about in the Bible it's more just talked about in Roman Catholic church history Chastity is more of a just a term of just Purity that's a good thing now faithfulness in marriage I chose not using Chastity in marriage because I think Chastity is more about like how I personally live but when you're married you need to focus about the other that's why I like faithfulness faithfulness is about the other chasing and sing less faithfulness and marriage there are two paths not two choices because actually singleness I think it's better to think about singleness not as a choice it's actually quite accurate because I've never met anyone who was born married well it's defaults we all start off single and as a matter of fact according to Matthew chapter uh Matthew chapter 22 Jesus says that we're all no there's no marriage in heaven so I hate to break the news to you but we're all going to be single in eternity but the good news is we're all corporately as the people of God we're going to be wed to the Lamb of God Amen so we see that uh it's um you know so it's not a choice marriage I actually think marriage is better to think that marriage is not a choice for those of you young adults don't think of marriage so much as a choice am I right making the right choice I make wrong choices I think it's a little healthier to think of marriage less as of choice and maybe more as Discerning and obeying God's will because what I want to discern God's will I'm not going to depend upon my desires my desires lead me astray I want to seek God's will which means I'm going to talk to my pastor I'm going to talk to my parents I'm going to talk to my prayer partner my accountability partner my mentors I'm going to pray I'm going to fast not so much go by my desires not to say that those desires could be good but I want to seek God's Will and then do God's but like for me I'm open to getting married I know some people are like I could never get married to some of the opposite sex if they have same such attractions who am I if God could raise dead to life this little thing is nothing for God of the universe so I want to know if this is God's will I know for certain he's going to move mountains to make his to to fulfill his make his will happen in my life I know that for certain because I serve a sovereign God not only he's going to move mountains he's going to move mountains in my own heart he's going to allow me to have the desires and the capabilities that I need to fulfill his will so it's not a choice but it's it's it's two paths and you know I didn't these two paths chassis and singleness faithfulness and marriage there's no term for both of those actually even the word heterosexuality that doesn't as it says nothing about Chastity and single it says nothing about how singles ought to live holy sexuality the term might be new but the concept is not it's just what script pages of scripture are saying chassis and singleness faithfulness and marriage and that is good news for all so you might think well that's fine my gay cousin can only be single for the rest of his life not necessarily so let me tell you a story about a good friend of mine he lives as a gay man for years comes to Christ stops pursuing same-sex relationships he was part of a great church he um became really close friends with his young lady who was also a new Christian she came from a broken past she dated boys she was sexually active some of those relationships were just a bit toxic so when she came to Christ she committed that she wasn't going to date for a while she just wanted to focus on her relationship with God so the two of them felt really safe there wasn't that weirdness that sometimes happens between a young man and a young lady you know what I mean does he like me does she like me he's looking at me what does that mean nothing because because he knew she didn't want to date and she knew he didn't like girls so there's none of that tension they became best friends they did everything together they spent a lot of time together after some time of being best friends he began noticing some things about her that he hadn't noticed before like her hair she smelled good and she had curves he says puberty is hard going through one strike going through puberty twice he got up enough courage asked her on a date after some dating he asked her to marry him and on their wedding night he told his new bride he said honey I can't explain this I'm not attracted to any other women I'm only attracted to you holy sexuality Chastity and singleness faithfulness and marriage sanctification is given by the one who has Sanctified himself God it's a gift chassing and singleness faithfulness in marriage is a gift from God so we need to be consistent Also regarding change what does change look like gator straight no how about if a person is tempted in any way does that mean this person hasn't been changed well do we apply the principle to any other sin struggle let's just say I have a friend who was a drunk comes to Jesus stops drinking but he admits like he still is tempted to get drunk after years of sobriety what are we telling me you haven't changed we need to lay some hands on you you need some Deliverance I hope not because the manifestation of God's grace is more evident in his life because he says no to his flesh and says yes to God so change is not the absence of Temptations but change is the spirit rottability to be holy even in the midst of Temptations because God's faithfulness is not shown by taking our struggle away God's faithfulness is shown by carrying us through it and this isn't here because I think of these issues about sexuality not being heterosexuality and not that change is you're not tempted anymore because I think for many years we had the wrong diagnosis where we diagnosis incorrectly and we were trying to treat this more therapeutically because we had the wrong diagnosis wrong diagnosis leads to wrong treatment and that Ryan diagnosis goes something like this the root causes of homosexuality are an absentee father dominant mother or abuse in one's childhood anyone hear something like that before now those things definitely are influences there was trauma in your childhood that influences you in a negative way my point is not to argue that my point is that an influence is not a cause I'll say it again an influence is not a Cause your problems in your childhood did not make you a sinner that is not biblical but Freudian and regrettably we're sometimes more busy chasing after Sigmund Freud than Jesus Christ the Bible does not teach that your sin is grounded in your childhood woes that's Sigmund Freud the correct diagnosis for sin what is the root cause of sinful Behavior our sin nature sin is a problem Jesus is the answer and so for you mom and dads out there that have a wayward child a lesbian daughter maybe a transgender son and you're beating yourself up and you did all the right things you raise your kids I mean not perfect and you're wondering staying up at night and crying what did I do wrong please please hear me it's not your fault perfect parenting does not guarantee perfect children look at Adam and Eve didn't they have a perfect father yes do they have a perfect environment yes they still rebelled what makes you think you could do better than our heavenly father you know the job of Christian parent is not to produce Godly children that is not your job because if you could actually do that you would be God and here's a little secret you're not God the job of a Christian parent is not to produce Godly children but the job of a Christian parent is just to be a Godly parent you be Godly you still do everything that you can but not thinking that if you do a b c x y z you're gonna have poof have Godly children no you still do those things out of the obedience to your love for Christ you do that because you want to do everything to point your kids to Christ you do it all you pray you I mean you you do all of that but then let God be God let God be God so we need to understand the correct diagnosis that hopefully will set you free parents you're not God only Jesus saves as much as you love your child you cannot save your child so we need a convicted consistent we need to be compassionate I've taught at Moody for 12 years and every semester I had students that confided with me they're wrestling with their sexuality often they never told anyone they because of feeling so isolated they sometimes suffer with depression and even thoughts of suicide so for some this can be an issue between life and death how can we be more compassionate well first expect of his present here in our small groups in our own homes in our neighborhoods in our pews not be surprised I still get people who are shocked like oh my goodness I grew up with this guy he you know we were in YouTube together from really young and now he's telling me in our 30s that he has same-sex attraction I don't know how that happened I'm like why he came from a good home his parents were Christian he was even homeschooled and I'm like wait are you really saying that if some good home they have Christian parents they were even homeschooled that they're now exempt from struggling with sin all right news flash I bet even right now in this room there's a good amount of us here that there may be six seven eight maybe of you that might be struggling with sin don't raise your hand I don't want to embarrass any of you have you stand out I mean let's really be honest we all need to fight our Temptations every day I mean what's a what is the body of Christ are we a group of people that have got it all together don't have any any problems we got reduction in a row we hold hands and we sing Kumbaya is that what the church is or is a church a group of people who know that we're broken and we need Jesus I'll just be honest with you I am broken and I need Jesus anyone out there that can relate to that in any way shape or form then let us all hand in hand walk together to him not because I can fix you I can't not even because I have the answers I don't but I know someone who does and his name is Jesus so we need to just rest in that fact and we can actually find our solidarity in the fact that we all need Christ I sometimes get this when people like you know know me as a speaker they're like oh my goodness you know people like you who have things such attraction are following Jesus you're some of the most holy people you've got such a big cross to bear and here's my answer I don't I don't because I read scripture and Jesus says if anyone would come after me he must deny himself take up his cross daily and follow me following Jesus should cost you everything if it hasn't you're following the wrong Jesus when we give up everything and we completely die to self and we're crucified that's when Christ can live in US so we expect this as present here second know your position and this is this is not just it's bad don't do it yes it's true but when I think about positions I think about main takeaways and I know sometimes when institutions are coming with positions what they end up doing is they they what what they I kind of call a Theology of nice just be nice so many statements are just just be nice just be compassionate that makes compassion and end in itself nice does not point you to Jesus we need to be full of grace and full of Truth being nice of course we should be nice being compassionate yes we should be compassionate but compassion is not an end in itself compassion must point to Christ's and the cross people like oh I'm pointing people to Jesus if you don't mention the cross you're not pointing people to Jesus it's Christ and the cross so what is my position what's my takeaway for all of these for for this whole day the morning two Services these these services today you know what it is I can distill it to two things it's basically my main takeaway it's it's it's actually not two things but two words follow Jesus that's it when your heart is drawing you in One Direction follow Jesus when you're tempted in a certain way follow Jesus when your friends leave you follow Jesus when you lose your job follow Jesus when you're when you're sick when you're hurt follow Jesus that is my position third maybe you have a friend who you've always wondered whether they're wrestling with their sexuality and you want to let them know they're a Christian friend you want to let them know you're there for them so how do you bring it up don't instead give Assurance of your friendship tell them I thank God for you and I just want you to know nothing can change my love for you fourth let's be a group of people that says no to gay jokes and the bullying there's just nothing christ-like about making fun of other people people can be so flipping with the words that's so gay that you know that shirt is so gay a shirt cannot be gay you know it's just not possible like I sometimes challenge youth like how about learn new words you know or be really creative instead of saying that's so gay how about that's so Baptist or that's a presbyterian or something really creative like that I'm sure you could think of something really good so convicted consistent compassion and then lastly we need to be complete and this is complete on what we say we focus upon God's truth because there's a truth that sets us free so the question is what is God's truth oh that's easy it's a sin anything more no that it's a sin well that's all we say is it's a sin that's the same thing as giving someone a one spiritual law attract guys know the four spiritual laws well this is not the four spiritual laws it's the one spiritual law that goes something like this you're a sinner and you're going to hell sorry in case you didn't know that's not good news but think about it that's essentially all we've been telling the gay community you're a sinner you're going to hell there's no hope for you it's no wonder why the gay community want nothing to do with us because we're not giving them the good news we're telling them the bad news only we're not telling them the complete truth we're telling them an incomplete truth so what is the complete truth and actually telling someone an incomplete truth is just as harmful as telling someone a lie what is the complete truth in First Corinthians 6 I talked about this last hour Paul lists ten sins he says do not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God and he lists ten sins sometimes people in those two words in Greek focus upon homosexual Behavior sometimes people will say look gays and lesbians won't inherit the kingdom of God they conveniently figure forget about the eight other sins because if we look at all ten sins none of us should inherit the kingdom of God bad news but I praise the Lord Paul didn't stop there and he goes on to say one of my favorite verses First Corinthians chapter 6 verse 11 such were what tense is that verb were past tense some of you but you were washed you were Sanctified you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ in the spirit of our God that's not good news that's amazing news that is news that we can declare to anyone who needs to know about Jesus Christ so our message has to be Redemptive it needs to focus about the good news of Jesus Christ our friends our loved ones our relatives who identify as gay their main issue is not their sexuality that's not their main problem their main problem is their need to know and follow Jesus my biggest sin was not being in a same-sex relationship my biggest sin was unbelief so how do we be Redemptive because if you're not talking about Christ and the Redemptive work of Christ we're not sharing good news I'm going to kind of give some practical things here before we jump into the Q a and focus first on how do we minister to Christians who know this is sin but they experience Saints attractions let's say after this weekend you have a good friend that confides with you what would you say or do first thing thank them don't freak out thank them second tell them that they're not alone many times Christians who have same-sex attractions raises in the church they get this impression that they have to do life all alone because no one will ever understand them and that's a scary thought don't allow also the Satan to to fool you into thinking that you can't help someone I get this a lot where people like I don't know how to help this person he just shared with me at same such attractions and I don't know how to help them I'm like oh why because I don't have same such attractions but when is it that we actually have to know a particular sin do that particular sin to then help someone else who has is doing that sin for example do you have to shoot up with Heroin to help a heroin addict yes or no thank you no do you have to look at pornography to help someone who's struggling with a pornography addiction yes or no no do you have to commit adultery to help an adulteress yes or no no then why all of a sudden for this one particular sin we think that we can't help this person because we don't struggle ourselves see how we are guilty sometimes of treating this like a peculiar sin when all it is is just it's just sin and that puts this in the human Realm we're all said here's the truth if you know Jesus and if you've ever had any victory of your own sin you can help another sinner when people come to you in their time of need what they don't need most is an expert but they do need most is a friend and you can be that friend third help remind that the identity needs to be in Christ if there's one thing that Christians we miss we don't fully understand how the world is completely conflated sexuality with identity that's why it's so offensive to people where you know where he's like well this is sin they're like oh my goodness that's so offensive you know why because when we say that this is sin they don't hear you saying that what they're doing is sin you know what they hear you saying that their whole person from head to toe is an abomination unbelievers people who identify as gay cannot hate their sin without hating themselves now that I know Jesus I can hate my sin without hating myself that's a difference so if our identity is not on our sexuality or anything else what is our identity in our identity needs to be in Christ period that's why I don't identify as a gay Christian I don't identify it as an ex-gay Christian I don't identify as a straight Christian I am a Christian why would I why I mean a great gay Christian I mean should you identify as a gossiping Christian or a jealous Christian or gluttonous Christian or I mean adulterous I mean a lusting Christian no I we struggle with sin but just Christian means I'm a redeemed sinner I I struggle with sin but that does not need to be my identity and I don't think it needs to be like blasted on Facebook or social media I'm a Christian so our identity needs to be in Christ sexuality is not who we are but how we are fourth be realistic don't give these false promises oh pray really hard you could pray away the gay no prayer is important but I pray not so that I can pray my problems away I pray so that when difficulties do come I can remain grounded in the truth of God don't focus on the externals how people walk or talk I want to see change from the inside out and that's how the gospel works uh six deepen and strengthen relationships in the family of God I think last for years um organizations that focus upon this Christian organizations what they did they had an expert mentality where they're like if you have problems send them to us my parents and I our ministry is actually to equip the church to do the the job that God has ordained the church to do which is to help sinners and we want people to find their community in the body of Christ so how do we share Christ with those who identify his case so those are Christians who struggle with same-sex attractions whether are those who identify as gay many of them who don't know Christ or some of them who say I'm a Christian but you know 70 of Americans in the U.S say they're Christian I wish that were true just because someone says that they're a Christian doesn't necessarily mean that they're a follower of Christ so how do we share Christ with those who identify as gay here are some things that you should not do don't compare this with an addiction pedophilia or murder not a good way to win people to Christ second don't say lifestyle a choice then that's because they've made their sexuality their identity they can't separate what they're doing their lifestyle from who they are and I'm willing to not use a word or two for those sake of winning someone to Christ third don't say love the sinner hate the sin do it just don't say it fourth don't feel the need that you have to debate all the time there's a time for truth but that's once God softens their heart and instead deflecting the more important question do you know Jesus didn't answer every question he was signed before Pilate he sometimes answered a question with a question for example if someone says do you think this is sin oftentimes I know they're not even ready to accept that truth I want to deflect the more important question and I would say you don't even believe in God yet so what does it matter what God thinks is sin the more important question is does God exist those conversations about God can lead to Jesus can lead to Salvation so what should you do we'll just finish with this first we need to pray and fast do you guys know the movie War Room remember that a few years ago that movie War Room was produced by the Kendrick Brothers the Kendrick Brothers wrote and produced that movie and then they asked a novelist Chris fabry to turn their film into a book so that the movie in the book came out at the same time we got a complimentary copy of the book and when we opened it up we saw that Chris fabry the author had dedicated that book to my mom do battle for people who can't battle for themselves stand in the Gap second listen don't be quick to speak but be quick to listen we need to listen to others so they'll be willing to listen to us third be intentional invite your gay neighbor over for dinner or coffee and I know people like if I'm doing that why don't I be condoning their sin and that's a good question but you know last time I checked we usually have Sinners over for dinner nothing new you're just eating with them you're not sitting with them there's a little difference fourth be patient and persistent it's going to take time for for someone to soften for God to you know for someone to soften their heart to the gospel it took me seven years eight years which I think is a short time I know people who've been praying for a decade lastly we need to be transparent share what God is doing in your life talk about it I would never have considered the gospel if I didn't see the gospel lived out of my parents lives I wouldn't have picked up the Bible from my track from the trash can in prison if I didn't see the Bible lived out of my Dad's life and my mother's life I didn't leave pursuing same-sex relationships because my mom and dad convinced me I was living in sin no I left it actually because they showed me something better and his name is Jesus our job as followers of Christ should is to show a dying world out there that no matter what they're clinging to all the fools gold in the world not only is Jesus better than all of that but following Jesus is best let's pray father we thank you for your faithfulness help us Lord God by your grace to be more like Christ every day and tell others about him for it's in the matchless name of Jesus we pray and the people of God said amen

Channel: Main Street Church Chilliwack

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Id: hNi3DHo3xn4

Length: 61min 22sec (3682 seconds)

Published: Tue Nov 22 2022