-Hi, Santa. -Hello, Ding Dongs. -You're looking at me
like I'm on your naughty list. -Well, I was counting my toys
and was one doinker short. -I'm going to ask you
for some silly words -- nouns, verbs,
adjectives, et cetera -- and as you do that,
they're going to be written onto cue cards. And then we're going to act out
a dramatic Mad Libs scene. You ready for this?
-Yes, sir. -Okay. Type of dessert. -Ding Dong. -Ding Dong. Plural or...
-Yeah, Ding Dongs. Like, you know --
-Yeah, Ding Dongs. Yeah, I know. Yeah, I love them. -A silly word. -Doinker. -Another word for father. -Well, doinker, but...papa. -Aww. Give me give me a year. -200 A.D. -Celebrity name. -Jennifer Lawrence.
[ Cheers and applause ] Whoo! -Type of plant. -Uh...apple tree. It's a plant.
-Yeah, sure. I guess you plant it, yeah,
outside as a tree. Yeah, you do. Absolutely.
-I should have said fern. -That's alright. Adjectives. -Demure.
-Demure. Something you'd name a pet. -Pickles. -Name of a band. -The Roots!
[ Cheers and applause ] -Plural animal. -Gerbils. -Verb ending in "-ing." -Spanking. [ Laughter ] I don't know.
[ Cheers and applause ] -Give me... Give me a number. -22. -Measurement of time. -Century. -Centuries. -Centuries.
-Centuries. A body part. ♪♪ -The nad.
[ Laughter ] "The nad." A type of beer. -Milwaukee's Best Ice. -[ Laughs ] -The good stuff.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah. -Milwaukee's Best Ice
better send me some Milwaukee's Best Ice. -Type of doctor. -Pediatrician. -One-syllable noise. -Ugh! Is that right? -Yeah.
-It's a syllable. -No, that "Ugh" is good.
Yeah, that's good. Yeah, this is all good. There's no wrong answers.
-Okay. -Plural noun.
-Plural noun. -Mm-hmm. -Forks. -There's only two more.
Mode of transportation. -Starship. -And holiday. -Christmas.
[ Cheers and applause ] Whew! -We filled out the words
for the scene. Are you ready to perform it? -Okay, yes.
-Let's go. Here we go. Let's do it. [ Cheers and applause ] [ Bells jingling ]
♪♪ -Hi, Santa. -Hello, Ding Dongs. -You're looking at me
like I'm on your naughty list. -Well, I was counting my toys
and was one doinker short. I believe you stole it. -But, Papa... -I started making that toy
in 200 A.D. What will the little
Jennifer Lawrences think when she wakes up
on Christmas morning with nothing
under the apple tree? -I would never steal
such a demure toy. -Where were you the night
before Christmas? -I was with Pickles. We were listening to
The Roots' holiday album and making snow gerbils. -Nice. -Pickles is very... -Hmm. Mm-hmm! Then why did Rudolph
see you spanking on the roof? ♪♪
[ Cheers and applause ] 22 centuries
before the toy was missing. -That's a coincidence. -The reason I work so hard is because I get to spread joy
to millions of people and go sit by the fire,
shaking my nad. [ Laughter ] -What?! -The little...
-I know, I know, I know. -Tiny, little guy. -Yeah, yeah. -While eating cookies and
drinking Milwaukee's Best Ice. -Fine. I stole the toy. [ High-pitched ]
But I only did it... -Wait.
[ Laughter ] -I was using
a fake voice earlier. -Oh.
-I'm an elf. I forgot I was an elf.
-Oh, right. Oh, and I'm Santa. Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho!
-That's right. Ding Dongs. Ho-ho.
You're silly. -I sold the toy. I only did it because I wanted
to impress my pediatrician. -Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! Every time there's
a holiday miracle, I sing my favorite
Christmas song, "Jingle Forks." [ Bells jingling ] ♪ Jingle forks, Jingle forks ♪ ♪ Jingle all the way ♪ ♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride ♪ ♪ In a one-horse open starship ♪ -Merry Christmas, Santa! Hey!
-Yeah! -Scene!
[ Laughs ] ♪♪
[ Cheers and applause ] -Okay, here we go.
-Okay, this is great. -Right?
-Yeah. -Give me an adjective.
-Ah, flamboyant. [ Laughter ] -Flamboyant.
-Mm-hmm. Really making
our cue-card guys work. Pet name.
-Winston. -Wow, that was really fast.
Nickname for a kid. -Jimmy Bill Bob. [ Laughter ] -What? That's a nickname for a kid?
-Yeah. Jimmy Bill Bob. -Type of profession.
-Late-night host. [ Laughter ] -What would you shout
if you stubbed your toe? -Falafel! [ Laughter ] -Give me a number. -6-8-0-1. -Gosh.
[ Laughter ] Give me a made-up fact
about chickens. -They can fly.
-Oh. -Two words that rhyme. -Fallon, talon. [ Laughter ] -You don't have to make
the whole thing about me. Type of food. -Ooh!
That's a tough one. I'll let you go with that one. -What? No.
-I have to do it? -This is a game. It's fun. It's John Cena saying any food.
-Ballpark hot dog. -Ballpark hot dog.
[ Laughter ] These are the most interesting
answers I've ever played. Type of drink. -A Rob Roy. [ Laughter ]
-What?! -It's a Manhattan with a -- -I know what that is, but no kid
knows what a Rob Roy is! -They do now.
Rob Roys for everyone! -Rob Roys for everyone here,
yeah. [ Cheers and applause ] Rob Roy is great. A verb ending in "-ing." -Uh, begrudging?
No, that's begrudgingly? No, no.
Uh... Um, running, running, running.
-Running, very good. Running.
-I had to go basic. I was trying to go complicated. -Advice that you would give
a shy teenager. -Stay golden, Pony Boy. [ Laughter and applause ] -These are
the best answers ever. Stay golden, Pony Boy.
Oh, my gosh. -It's a safe one.
-Another good reference. Oh, my gosh.
[ Laughing ] Body part. -Perineum. [ Laughter ] -I'm gonna have
to give my cue-card guy mouth-to-mouth after perineum. -Well, I can't --
I mean, that's -- You want to go medical on that.
-No, no, perineum. Is that something? -Oh, it's the space between --
-Okay, got you. [ Laughter ] That's not
what that song is about. That's not
what that song is about. -That is for me. -No, it is not. -That's how
Dave Matthews speaks to me! -That's not what it's about. Oh, my gosh.
-Here we are. This is your game. -No, I know. This is great. Object. -Protractor. [ Laughter ] -A plural noun. -Puppies.
-Aww. -Puppies.
-Aww. -Plural animals.
-Dragons. [ Laughter ] -What would you say
if you found out you got an A-plus
on your chemistry test? -"Teacher, my name's not Dave!" [ Laughter ] -Oh, my gosh. -'Cause I wouldn't --
I would never... -Got it.
Alright, we're almost done. Give me a color. -Hmm, sea breeze. [ Laughter ] -Sea breeze is a color?
I got to get my Crayola set. Another profession. -WWE superstar.
-Hey! [ Cheers and applause ]
-Alright! Couple of fans in the house.
-Yeah. -Appreciate it.
-Two more. Another body part. -[ Laughs ] -Can I say anus?
-No! Yes, you can.
Yes, you can. You can say it.
-It's a part. -And a verb. -Uh, jump. -There we go.
Perfect. Alright, we filled it out.
We are ready for our scene. I'm gonna hand this in
to the computer. [ Laughter ] And then they're going
to go on the cue cards. Are you ready
to perform our scene? -Let's do this!
-Yes! Let's go! [ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪ -Ah, I love Christmas. It's the most
flamboyant time of the year. [ Laughter ] [ Chuckles ]
Hey, what's wrong? -There's something
I have to tell you, Winston. -What is it, Jimmy Bill Bob? [ Laughter ] I'm your brother
and your best late-night host. You can tell me anything. -Well, this isn't easy,
but here it goes. I don't believe in Santa Claus. -Falafel! [ Laughter ] -Hey, hey. I understand
why you would react that way. We've been writing Santa
letters every day for the past 6-8-0-1 decades. [ Laughter ] -This is more shocking than when
I found out chickens can fly. [ Laughter ] What made you stop believing? -All I wanted for Christmas was the most popular toy
everyone had, the Fallon Talon. [ Laughter ] I left Santa
a plate of ballpark hot dogs and a glass of Rob Roy, but on Christmas morning, there was
nothing under the tree. So I ran to my room and
started running. [ Laughter and applause ] -[ Chuckles ] [ Laughter continues ] -Little bro,
I'm gonna tell you the same thing Dad used to tell
me every night before bed. [ Laughter ] -[ Breathes deeply ] [ Laughter continues ] -[ Coughing ] -Yes?
What -- What is that? -Stay golden, Pony Boy. [ Laughter and applause ] [ Cymbal crashes ] Stay golden --
Stay golden, Pony Boy. [ Laughter ] -Truer words
have never been spoken. -Look, all you have to do
is look deep... [ Laughs ] [ Laughter ] ...within your per-- [ Laughter ] "Perenium." -Perineum.
-Perineum. [ Laughter and applause ] You remember
Dad used to say that, as well. [ Laughter ] You got to look deep...
for the holiday spirit. Come on, man. You can do it. -You're right, brother. The holidays are magical. Decorating
the Christmas protractor. [ Laughter ] Hanging the puppies
on the mantel. [ Laughter ] And spending time
with all my dragons. [ Laughter ] I believe again! There is a Santa Claus! -Teacher, my name's not Dave! -You know, the best part
about believing in Santa is getting to sing
my favorite song with you. -[ Laughs ] You sure you don't
want to do it by yourself? [ Laughter ] -Which is...?
-What is the song? -"Rudolph the Sea-Breeze-Nosed
WWE Superstar." [ Laughter ] Man, I screwed myself on that.
-That is my favorite song. Let's sing!
[ Clears throat ] ♪ Rudolph the sea-breeze-nosed
WWE Superstar ♪ ♪ Had a very shiny anus ♪ [ Laughter ] ♪ And if you ever saw it ♪ -Jumped. -♪ You would even say
it jumped ♪ And scene.
Go run to your room. Go run to your room.
