HILARIOUS COMIC MUSICIANS! | Britain's Got Talent

david walliams wanted to update his content reminder he brought me a massive ring binder but when i looked all the contacts were from grinder i need to join the gym again it pains me to admit i accidentally put my blood on backwards and it fits time i saw you just hang in there the checkout lady said do you want to buy one of these and i said all right go on then yeah david would write another book alicia would smile at him amanda would be kind to him simon's teeth would be blinding him [Music] hello hello darling hello hello what's your name um my name is robert um how old are you robert um i i i just turned 30 uh 11 years ago so is this your job would you have a normal job um i teach tiny little primary school children music as well so i do that which is nice okay best of luck all right so um basically i've i've written a song specifically for for you which makes me nervous and and also i'm slightly nervous because i've got something called dyslexia which is which was very good for music because when i was young i taught myself the piano although it's not so good as i'm older i recently tried to book tickets for rihanna and i booked tickets for ryanair um thank you very much i've got something called asperger's syndrome which means i'm a genius um no it's nice to be here i've had a bit of a rough week i've actually moved into a flat with with my boyfriend just boyfriend gay and and autistic two ways i can't think straight and um so i i usually when i do clubs i swear a lot so i've got to be pc i've done a song which is literally pc because it's about computers and uh i have done it three times and this time people have laughed so if you don't you're wrong here we go thank you george foreign me working in a computer shop i work in the computer shop making computer bright and clean so much crumbs and vomit and don't ask what's on the screen i do half the work just double the time but you wouldn't want a job like mine if you would find the things i'd find and i'm cleaning microsoft windows david walliams wanted to update his content reminder he brought me a massive ring binder but when i looked all the contacts were from grinder leading ropes up windows alicia dixon's webcam was another case she said the picture was awful but actually was just her face it was too lovely her face was too lovely there you go amanda holden was the only one who's a instagram was on the mark she said her outfits have so much spark i said i'm just jealous i'll never dress like you because i don't shop in primark and i'm okay with that cleaning microsoft windows simon cowell's facebook was around the bend he brought it to me to try to mend it wasn't broken he's just got no friends cleaning works of windows very good [Applause] oh robert i love you wow i mean everything you said was hilarious you're just a beautiful soul comedy flows from you like water i love that you had to go at us all i think some people were more hurt than others someone's just entirely truthful um but uh i just can't wait to see what you're gonna do next wow we start to finish that was hilariously funny you're a shining star it's fantastic we're very self-deprecating and i think you have funny bones and your audition was fabulous robert you know what you're very unique you're very quirky very funny very naughty robert which we like thank you thank you baby it's a big fight yes wow i'm saying yes i'm saying yes robert white you got four yeses [Music] congratulations lovely mom [Applause] hello my love who are you my name's siobhan siobhan phillips i am 42 i know i don't like it and i'm from wakefield you're chef you're check yourself what is the big dream i've been a performer for a long time and i feel like i would love it if i had a venue where people have paid to come and see me do you know what i mean i do know me that'd be great okay good luck come on girl so i don't i don't know if you've noticed but there's a piano 40 behind me and i'm gonna sit down i'll get further away but you'll still be able to see me what i've done i've written a song because a couple of years ago i became a mum for the first time i thought to myself well i'll draw wait i'm 40 i'm really old and tired and then i'll have a baby so i wrote a song because they always say you should write songs about subjects with which you are familiar but i couldn't think of a melody around cake so i've put a little song together and uh yeah i hope you like it you can join in but you won't know it because i've written it so [Laughter] had a baby at 40 what did i do i haven't slept since i look 102. i've piled on weight they say when is it you i answer through gritter teeth she's just turned two plastic dinosaurs every single day i dream of killing peppa pig in a brutal way and i could strangle mr tumble with his spotted back and if it wasn't for prosecco i'd probably go mad i today wish that i'd become a gun then she smiles at me and i do it all again but i think i'd skip the toddler years [Music] would be a special treat i'd love to rig my kindle when i'm lying on the beach i need to join the gym again it pains me to admit i accidentally put my blood up backwards and it fits [Laughter] if i again i think i might just scream but at least she's far too young to discuss the brexit deal and i only hope it's best for her to have a happy life i'm keeping all my bits crossed she'll be eric cowell's wife [Music] [Applause] good evening good evening what's your name i'm mickey mickey yeah where are you from darling i'm from the beautiful city of leeds how old are you mickey uh i'm 36 do you have a day job or is this your full-time job i am a part-time primary school teacher oh lovely lovely are you enjoying your food yeah you've got to wait you know the stage is yours mickey go for it thank you very much cheers this is called the absolutely amazing song yes about traveling around europe oh that rhymes i like him i'm off to paris in a yaris this next song [Applause] i know this is supposed to be a comedy routine but i've i've suffered loss recently so i just want to get this off my chest i um joe i'll play the song because i've got a bit emotional talking about it i can't believe i've lost you i can't believe you've gone i need you to know that you did nothing wrong the first time i saw you just hanging there the checkout lady said do you want to buy what are these and i said all right go on then yeah you were my back flat five what my [Applause] you cost almost 10 pence and i only you still twine the other bags i use compared to you are slack i always feel that the handle strap is gonna [Music] it's happened to you a lot as well good evening what's your name sir my name is john courtney where are you from i live in a village called mosley which is near manchester oh okay have you brought anyone with you i've got my wife and two boys [Music] how long have you played the piano uh since i was about five i guess and is that how you make a living yeah so is this the biggest venue you performed in yeah the palladium is like the holy grail to me i used to watch the shows with my dad and this is the home of variety oh overwhelming it's amazing good luck john thank you this is bunky there was a man who had a dream [Music] that simon cowell and his team would watch him play piano and try to slay them on the stage of the palladium and in the time that one song took david would write another book alicia would smile at him amanda would be kind to him simon's teeth would be blinding him if he was smiling but nothing now could ever spoil the dream he dreamed like susan boyle i like this already let's see if we're we have been in it is he never thought he'd ever get to be in front of millions of people doing his thing on tv 30 years of playing in piano bars and pubs dodging glasses when they're throwing being thrown out of clubs when he children ask daddy when you're coming home this game is not the same when you're just daddy on the phone so he sits at the piano and he tries to get prepared thinking he'll ride it in third person so he doesn't feel as scared to sing about himself to a bunch of strangers in the dark but then britain has got talent and he wants to make his mark paul potts won the first year and said it was insane the second year george sampson won singing in the rain lost voice guys season 12 and last year colin thackery so why not me that's what he said his youngest boy one night in bed dad why not you go and show them what you do and even though you'll be a wreck at least you'll meet anton [Applause] and he thinks on stage at this stage in his life with an expensive mortgage and a pensive wife his younger son alfie says what's it all about if he had any hair left he'd pull it out his teenage son said [Applause] his dad taught him to play piano but he didn't live to see his son at the famous theater performing on tv if he didn't see it through imagine how sad the look on the face is of both his lads who always tell him you're the greatest showman dad [Music] and they'll see me on bgt no more third person just daddy this is me um oh [Music] john you've made me fall to bits i don't know why i just saw a man who kind of made all his dreams come true it really was yeah david it was just so winning wasn't it i mean my goodness me and made the whole audience and i'm sure everyone watching home just fall in love i love him he had everything and at the end he had us moved to tears this show is perfect for you and now i want to see you go as far as you can in this competition wow [Music] [Applause] uh john it was just a wonderful audition you're somebody who's worked for years needs a break you'll get a huge reaction of this i promise you and we all want you to do well so i would love to be the the first [Applause] is [Applause] [Music] [Applause] you deserve it [Applause] [Music] here's the other son here he comes

Channel: Britain's Got Talent

Views: 1,229,463

Keywords: britain's got talent, britains got talent, talent, bgt, ant and dec, ant, dec, simon cowell, david walliams, alesha dixon, amanda holden, Britain's Got Talent Unseen, BGT Unseen, Unseen, got talent, bgt auditions, bgt judges, ashley banjo, britains got talent auditions, unseen bgt auditions, british talent show, ant and dec on bgt, Great Britain, amazing auditions, london auditions, HILARIOUS COMIC MUSICIANS, funny musicians, funny bgt auditions, hilarious bgt auditions

Id: 3IrmKqtWEBA

Length: 18min 26sec (1106 seconds)

Published: Sat May 29 2021