HIGHLY ILLEGAL CSGO MOMENTS

hey [Applause] what the [ __ ] was that what was that it's me saying hello in-game i think it only happens whenever [Music] yeah at the very end whatever the [ __ ] you're doing what's good my predator what's good my fellow rapists what if there's like a rapist club there is there is it's called jail yeah i read your line i'm sorry yeah you also improved it which is not on all right we never do that you never even brought the line yeah your red fits his line i just said that you read my line oh [ __ ] all right this is the part yeah right right under the line that i'm about to finish this is where grizzy screams for three seconds all right ready go um yeah let's take it from the top all right this is the part where i complain about how often we're gonna do this joke before it gets old here i'll close the google doc yeah no worries script bomb down hitting my jewel you don't need to tell us that i'm gonna be hitting my jewel as well because i don't want him to be alone nice nice good jewel i think yours is pretty good too yours is better than mine yeah my little boy my eight-year-old this yeah how [ __ ] old are you 33. god damn yikes so what 33 divided by 8 is 25. so you're 25 what [Laughter] my friend he doesn't know what he's talking about so did you marry and then bear fruit or did you wait like a year no we were together for a couple months or did you marry because of the kid but secretly i'm not even talking again i wouldn't ask him that anyway yeah i'm not even gonna do that so you're white right and your wife is white too i presume no really [Music] she's mexican so uh you know do you like do you like break out the can of puns when you're going at it like you know do you like calling like your spicy tamale something like that yeah hey do you call it clitoris a mexican jumping bean i've heard people call that before are you a military man sir i am i'm a us marine oh thank you for your service you know what you know what's funny i can just tell by the way you're you're handling yourself right now and i really appreciate that yeah i'm gonna stop i'm gonna stop uh making fun of you and your wife and respect you might be a good idea do you ever blow fat clouds out of your mouth because it's sick oh [ __ ] we're terrorists yeah bond why don't you instinctively shoot all of your teammates when you're on t side because there's some teammates like that it's not like the wet ketchup that comes out first the vinegar and liquid the ketchup pre-cum you look like ketchup [Laughter] mustard pre-cum is the worst dude yeah that [ __ ] get that all over your hot dog it's just like yeah and then you get your get your buns wet it's like damn yo grizzy i got a lot of allegations about me being racist can we start having sex [Laughter] i can't be a racist if i'm [ __ ] a black guy subscribers it's a double whammy so what now you don't want to [ __ ] him huh you racist so i'm either racist or a pedophile all right my dad's going to come and ask me what i was screaming about and i'll have to say i just asked my black friend if he wanted to have sex with me and then he said he was 17 and then my dad will start screaming too snapping isn't isn't appropriate anymore it triggers people who have been snapped as kids so we got to do is this all right are you armpit partying yeah oh i how do you make them sound wet like i don't get it i'm sweating my [ __ ] armpit farting on camera yo imagine eating ass after like your dinner being just corn on the cob damn you got you can eat dinner again you're probably gonna have to wait the best is pissing on a girl after like asparagus so you have corn on the cob and asparagus okay smitty want to call in for another sick day because this is clearly he's changing that was my that was my uh hitler hiding out in argentina impression so i've been thinking a lot about [ __ ] lately all right that means you're not gay probably i've just been thinking about it like i've been thinking about it in like terms of a prop like for improv comedy you're gonna buy a flashlight is what you're saying i was thinking like creative ways to make women laugh using their labia swagger do you own a flashlight no i don't i mean i should get one it will be easier to not yeah yeah that's what i was thinking because i need i need to train myself to nut inside of real women instead of my hand yeah i just need a nut inside of a woman really just maybe once in my life i mean anything would just be appreciated just even being inside of one would be cool really yeah yeah what's what's that smell anchovies yeah hey cougar nice to meet you i'm swagger i'm way more eccentric than i was a couple of months ago i think i've gone off the deep end how come i don't know i think i did a lot of drugs and it's changed my personality dude guess what i tried once i came to seattle oh acid oh boy bro i got shrooms pcp dmt i had never had weed before before oh you're corrupt now baby and so i i went in and i was like i don't know what anything is give me one of everything oh good idea good idea hi roller did you do edibles cougar yeah dude i had i had so many different experiences every time it was so weird yeah that's that's drugs [Applause] did you have a good time did you did you enjoy sometimes i had a good time sometimes i had a great time sometimes i didn't have such a great yeah yeah do you have any really bad times yeah i had a really bad night you know technically from a psychological perspective i would be classified as a chronic marijuana abuser which really just makes being a stoner sound way more [ __ ] up yeah chronic marijuana abuse it's when you smoke weed every day aka you're a [ __ ] g in that b-ball court a [ __ ] dunking on hoes dunking on hoes i'm shooting [ __ ] on the street with my ak draco uzi gun and these [ __ ] can't handle my cajun heat from down south of my brother brizzy i hope you don't mind but i'm gonna follow you and take your gun after i'm done because i don't have enough money because i spent all my money on wheat what okay so yeah how much did you spend on wheat because if you got one of everything that's gonna wrap up well i didn't get one of everything i just got one of every like type of everything i could afford literally like harry potter style just like we'll take the lot just [ __ ] it's the entire card full of animals so cougar are you like into weed now or is it just one of the things you tried i can take it and leave it's honestly i had a week where i was trying it a lot but then it got a little intense so i backed off weren't you against marijuana no no or just not really your vibe it just was never legal where i lived and so i just never [ __ ] with it oh so you're a [ __ ] okay wow dude just do drugs whether or not it's against the law or not i mean it's it's your body your rules you know what i mean obviously swagger let's knock it off politically i'm super i'm super libertarian man all i gotta say is if i want to if i want to inject my veins with the fluid inside of a glow stick i should be allowed shut the [ __ ] up [Laughter] climb up your soapbox how else will i be six foot so you shouldn't feel bad man because you can't change your height you can't change it yeah but think about it i feel bad about something that you can't you know what's funny i got so many comments about me being short that i actually looked up the price for bone extensions just to see mild mild i was like i wonder how you can be tall like how can i actually be taller and then i looked it up it was like hey you gotta get bone extensions for like 50 grand of bone i was like oh so i could spend 50 grand to have like my right leg be six foot five and my left leg will still be five foot eight looks like he's walking around on stilts the whole time look at like this little tourist on these huge legs it's super fun they have to break your leg and then you have to go into like rehab like like rehabilitation like physical therapy don't they pull them apart and then fill the middle with artificial [ __ ] yeah with metal literal metal yeah my height is literally four foot twenty i don't need to be in shorter or an inch iron like it's perfect i should have asked them to put another bone in there so you could have another joint you know bones aren't joints but that good meme [Music] you

Channel: SwaggerSouls

Views: 7,149,311

Rating: 4.9626756 out of 5

Keywords: Funny, fun, game, gaming, gameplay, comedy, hilarious, moments, swagger, SwaggerSouls, souls, KugoTheMighty, Fitz, GoodGuyFitz, Grizzy, Kyroz, KyrozGaming, CS:GO, Counter Strike, CS, Competetive, Jokes, funny moments

Id: EKLWESFpQHQ

Length: 10min 21sec (621 seconds)

Published: Sat Sep 08 2018