He Worked Security During The Las Vegas Massacre

so this video is going to be a little different huh because uh well a couple hours before this recording 19 children and two teachers were killed in a mass shooting and that's very relevant to what you wanted to talk about and i wasn't planning on doing this recording yet we had this scheduled for later but the emotion was so raw for you i just i wanted to hear exactly what you wanted to say thank you it means it means a lot it means so much you can all call me darth vader i am a survivor of the worst mass shooting in us history it's a trial of its own to give some context i i want to state that 2017 was the worst year ever for me on january one of my old childhood friends killed himself overdosed on antidepressants went to a coma and died a week later in august my other close friend he'd gotten a fight with his wife and took his brains out in front of his own kid and i had moved i had talked to him just a few days earlier i didn't know and i try not to blame myself for that but that's you can't help i've asked but what if you've done something different at some time you have to just acknowledge that there's nothing i could do i was a whole stayed away in vegas and he was in houston and there's nothing i could do and i even though i had gone through that tragedy i went i told myself i need to keep going i need to go make new friends live my life i can't let this tragedy define me and so i did i made a new friend his name was eric and he was a funny ass dude and we work security by side by side and we had done some breakdown for this little gig that was going on it was a outdoor concert and everything was going great we had a week of setup and then finally we had three days of the actual concert itself and the first and the second day were pretty fine normal nothing really happened but on the third day at 10 05 p.m uh a man named stephen paddock went through was in his hotel room at the mandalay bay 32 floors up broke the window to his hotel room and started firing into the crowd at me and he had a bump stock attachment to his rifle so it was pretty much as close to automatic as it can get and i remember at first i thought it was fire it was just it sounded like somebody was lighting up a bunch of m80 some kid had gone to the concert area lit up some 80s off on the side and now we're going to have to evacuate everyone then we're going to have to have check the whole area make sure nothing was actually happening and let everyone back in everyone's going to be so pissed but then it went full auto or as close to fallout as a bump stock gets and there's not a sound in the world there's like there's no firework that fires that fast there's no nothing it can only be one thing and it was hellfire being rained down on us i remember when it started happening i was the closest guard inside the event grounds to mandalay was backstage at the time and my closest exit was clear across the event west to east and i had to comes to the realization first of all like if we are under attack and it's not something you want to say you go to a you go to a job and you say all right this is just what's going to be a job you're going to maybe get hit in the head of a beer bottle that happened to me i've dealt with unruly customers i've driven dealt with drunk people but dealing with [ __ ] gunfire that's not a security guards guards a job description or or whenever a disaster an emergency like that we have three rules uh for us um run hide and as a last resort fight back i couldn't run because there was about 100 yards between me and the exit and it was all open ground here i was a [ __ ] duck shooting this bright yellow security jacket i couldn't hide well i could hide but i'll get that little bit but i sure as [ __ ] can't couldn't fight back no one could i remember when i was backing up i was hearing uh an announcement come up on the stage ladies and gentlemen please evacuate the area in a calm and only fashion well there's [ __ ] bullets whizzing over people's head while people are dying that's the the thing that goes on the in to be broadcast to everyone and i am hearing 20 000 people scream bloody murder i am listening to people die and i realize i need to get the [ __ ] out no no if ands or buts about it no simple anything i needed to get out and i had a co-worker with me who was my buddy for the night he was a large guy big old guy and he had a handlebar mustache he looked like a personification of garfield and as funny as that sounds it gets worse because uh when i told him dude we need to get hell out of here he said and i quote i am not making this up i swear to god he told me but my lasagna he bought me bro he brought food from home he brought lasagna home from home and he was more concerned about that than getting out alive or any of this other stuff and i i can't really blame him either because he's probably in shock and couldn't even believe that this was actually happening but after a moment of like trying come on man we gotta go we gotta go and he just kind of like tucked himself in with his big old gut hanging out from cover and we're like oh you know what i'm screw this i need to get out so i start going for the nearest exit and i am hearing shots drop i am hearing these bullets whiz over my head and it was the craziest thing in the back of the area in the front there had this uh fake astro turf and they had a few other things uh for like all the gas all the uh some pavements lead to like some ferris wheels and a whole bunch of stands but in the back they didn't put any of that fancy stuff because you know it's the back there's nothing goes over there so the whole place with this fine layer of ultra thin dust that was just kicked up from all the construction of putting the stage out so you could see when a bull hit because it would come on down and you couldn't see the bulk so there's no trace there's no nothing it was just invisible death coming above but you could tell where it hit because there's been this little poof little mushroom cloud boom little poof of dust wherever the bullets hit and i watched a couple of people in front of me as i was running just drop like a second i mean drop drop a lot of the times in the movies that people show people get hit and they grab their chest and they all make a little dramatic no no when people get hit they just drop every muscle in their body seizes the function and they just drop i i can't describe it any other way it's just dropping they just and i'm seeing this i'm still thinking i gotta get past i i don't know how i'm gonna get the hell out through this but i gotta i gotta keep going i got a fiance back home in utah i well not back home but i got a fiance in utah and that's when my co my supervisor grabs me from the back of my shirt pulls it behind some of the tour buses i didn't even make a third of the way to the exit there was uh where i was where there was a bunch of changing rooms for the artists uh there was some tour buses the stage itself more tour buses and then finally the exit and i got to those first tour buses that's when my supervisor pulls me back there grabs me by my shirt and all hell is landing loose and he just tells me you got to stay in cover you can hide here and we're getting 50 people we got people coming from the stage we got people coming from the field itself from front row and everybody's running over here and screaming and panic and everybody doesn't know what's going on and everyone's panicking and we got one metro cop one nobody else it's just me my supervisor who [ __ ] off in like he [ __ ] off in like five minutes he went off to one of the other uh performers buses uh yes he saved my life he pulled me behind the buses when there's no way i was gonna make it but like at the same time he just [ __ ] up and um gosh take your time so i'm we got all these people coming in and then the sharks start coming towards us uh he had noticed all the crowd building up uh there were lights all around us people have their phones out flashlights out all that kind of stuff everyone was making themselves as big a target as possible and suddenly we hear that snap snap stuff it's like this whip crack over your heads as these bullets come whizzing on over ow these bull bulls come whizzing on over and uh they were hitting the stage and showering us with these little shards of aluminum that the stage was made of and i remember at the time i only said oh [ __ ] and that cop turned to me like i had completely gone bonkers he grabs me by my shoulders and he shakes me up he looks me down in the eyes and he goes you are the morale of these people you are their backbone you are going to do your job and i just kind of snapped into work mode i just went okay yes sir what do i need to do now i just turn my brain off and i just focus what needs to be done next and he tells me all right go through this crowd go through this group find all the wounded get them in one place start performing medical by the way i'm security i'm not supposed to do that legally i am not allowed to do medical and i just do i go through the crowd i go through them one after another are you injured are you injured you're in a fetal position are you hurt are you hurt you're wounded all right come with me and you're gonna take him over to this one spot that was a little bit of cover over their heads i was off to the side and i could just get them all into one place and have them lie down and i could start doing stuff with them and i got five people who were put over there uh there was this group of people that run in from the field way out there they had uh have you ever gone to like a concert or anything and they got like these little bike rack barricades set up well they had taken one of those flipped it on its side and used as a gurney and this woman they had light on it was coated red with blood i mean there wasn't any part of her that wasn't red from her like you could barely tell that she was wearing a black dress it was just horrific and they grabbed her and pulled her into this little tiny electrical shack and then they locked the door behind them so i start treating these other these other five and i'm like all right here's what we're going to do we're going to put up tourniquet you've got a you've already got something on i'll try to make sure it's tied later i'm going to focus on you because you don't have anything i take off my belt i start performing a tourniquet on it i'm just desperately trying to remember what my boy scout trainings from just like like five years earlier uh had told me about how to turn it on you put the belt through tighten it up real tight twist the buckle and twist it real nice and tight but i can never figure out how to keep it tight so i just had the guy hold it thankfully and i moved on to the next person like all right here's where's your entry how can i help make sure this was tight tighten it up tighter if it wasn't and then uh thankfully thankfully though as shoddy as my job was it lasted long enough for an emt an actual empty and he was this i knew he wasn't like he wasn't like in a uniform like an emt who had been called on down this was a guy who had been on site as like to take care of people who passed out from heat exhaustion or drinking too much beer he was just this big old guy who looks like santa claus he had a big white beard big old belly and he had uh this clear little high school medical bag but he had rubber tourniquets and he just went on in and he started doing undoing what i did keep whatever was good he calf whatever i was horrible at he fixed and he just started getting to work on them and i just felt it was a relief to know that they were under proper care but i i wish i had better skills [Music] and i went back to the cop and i'm like all right all the wounded are in one place what do you need me to do next he's like actually i was midway through that i was moving all the wounded are in one place and then at that point one of the staff shacks in the back opens up and about 20 more people come on over and this guy comes on up to me and his wrist is hanging on a thread because he get a bullet go right through it and he just comes up to me with this horrific thing in my face and goes where do i go and i told him right this way sir as if i was just guiding him to his seat like i was just any old normal day and i got him over to the emt and i got him all fixed up and they told the police officer all right all the wounded are now in one place six wounded in one place and he just told me go through the crowd make sure the phones are off make sure people are calm you can't have people panicking and i just i go do my best and i'm going through the crowd telling people to stay calm not to shout turn off your i never told anyone to turn off the phone i told them make your phone black you can call you can do whatever you want just make sure it's dark and don't have a light on i wasn't going to be that cruel because i didn't have my phone on me i didn't i had the crazy thing about this is during the shooting my brother and my mom were also security guards for this event and i had eric out there too and what happened with them is that my brother he was uh up north he was in the middle where the crowd was right at the edge of where the crowd before the stage was and as he was looking he saw the first few shots come down and he watched somebody get hit and just drop like they've been hit in the head and he went nope and he [ __ ] off and he starts making a run for it and uh he even uh made a shorter route by football tackling through a uh fake like one of those very thin flimsy wood displays you know like those wood slat kind of fences the ones that are like very decoration you see him on easter all the time they had this was the back of their stand and he just football tackled all the way through and he opened up this path so that people could get to a near exit in cutting off like 30 feet off the travel time he uh gets to the gate and this guy's blocking it because he's been told keep this gate closed and he doesn't know what the [ __ ] to do and my brother just goes out of the way opens the gate lets everybody out meanwhile my mom was over near the tropicana up north side of this place and she was a supervisor for the event she had her people and when she started hearing the shots she had a radio on and so she's hearing shots ringing out can we confirm are these fireworks or shots that gets good confirmation this is real body's downstage left body's downstage right and she doesn't know where either of her sons are she doesn't know if either one of them are alive all she knows is that we are in areas where people are dying and she grabs her people and goes all right let's get out of here so she moves from this north west corner up to the central south directly to the tropicana and she starts blocking the road because there was cars going through the area and you know they're panicking they're trying to get out and they've got thousands of people 20 000 people inside the event ground trying to get out and so she would block these cars get people to run across the tropicana or get into these cars and then drop and then let the cars stop the people that the cars go through it was just one thing after another and all of a sudden she found that she was the only one there all of her other people had just left and she was the only one trying to keep order and she would find wounded people she was specifically looking through the crowd as they would come by and find all right you're wounded come with me and she found this little triage spot where two cop cars and me little uh little angle and she'd take him over there and give him to the cops and the cops would take care of him and she was talking about how she met this husband and wife where the wife was basically dragging her husband who had been shot in the back and she helps him get him over there the whole time the woman is saying to her please call an ambulance call 9-1-1 get help over here he's dying he's dying and she my mom just basically tells her i already called the ambulance they're on their way but they can't go any closer while we're still being shot at and she just watches as this woman's husband dies he just slowly bleeds to death and there's nothing she can do later she would try to help console mom who was saying that her daughter was in a uh one of the porta potties and just my mom just had to keep selling her like hey you can't go back in there she's safe where she is just tell her the whole firm and just stay where she is and just doing her best to console her and while she was doing her best to try to point out like is that person injured is that person injured what whatever is going on one person got passed that you didn't notice he went to the tropicana parking lot crawled into her car and bled to death and she blames herself for that my mom is still breaks up and like even today she was crying she was crying all day long because of the horrible things that happened at that shooting eventually my brother makes his way over to her and she hugs him and just holds them tight and as she says in multiple interviews i was just glad that one of my sons was okay and i i have to say what am i chop liver [Music] but i understand where she's coming from but it's still [ __ ] up yeah i see who the favorite is now mom [Laughter] so i it takes an hour for me sitting there watching these people the gunman had killed himself at 10 minutes in 10 minutes after he started shooting he shot himself it took two hours for the police to breach his room it took one hour for them to even reach me next to the stage we sat there not knowing what was going on we didn't know if this was like some kind of terrorist attack or something like that and there was some guy uh coming running in from the street level and doing hop defense with an ak or something like that we didn't know and i i kept i kept bracing myself i kept telling myself what am i going to do what am i going to do with this guy if the guy comes on into me with the assault rifle and i basically go all right i'm gonna go for it i'm gonna i'm gonna left for i'm gonna tell everyone to get to the other side and if he starts coming my way i'm gonna just like peek out see him tell everyone to go to the other side just like back away from me and as he gets close i'm going to go for the gun i'm just going to grab a hold of it as best i can and i have not a [ __ ] iota that i was going to be a hero i was convinced i was going to die there that i wasn't going to be able to tell my fiance that i loved her one last time i wasn't going to be able to tell if no if my mom or my brother was okay i didn't care all i cared was that these people that are now my responsibility might just make it out of here if i sacrifice myself if one person dies to say 50 others surely it's worth it right surely it's worth it but that never happened instead i got uh this girl in a cocktail dress coming up to me going where do i pee i it was the surrealness of the whole situation of this drunk girl coming up to me we're all just waiting around wondering if we're going to die any second i well eventually swat team comes on over clears us out we start getting all the people out first towards the field but then the cop savings are mine and have all them go out that side exit i was initially going for and it'd be later when i found out why i i went to my uh manager who had come over to us he was not my supervisor my manager he comes on over and goes all right what do you need to do i might have gotten those two mixed up whatever either way he comes on over i asked him like all right we got all the people what do you need to do next and he says all right go check the bathrooms check underneath the buses see if there's anybody who's alive wounded find them and get them out of here and so i checked the bathrooms and these like posh bathrooms and checked underneath the bus there's nobody nothing there i checked beneath the stage and i found a guy in his underwear i don't know what he was doing in his underwear i'm gonna i'm going to assume with the angel on my shoulder that he had taken his clothes off to be used and torn up as tourniquets but there's probably a good chance he was high as [ __ ] having the worst trip of his life and i just went like what the hell are you doing he's like i'm hiding and i told him get the [ __ ] out of and he runs off to the exit too and i get back to my man my supervisor and i go all right man we're all i all this place is checked there's nobody here what do you need to do next he's like all right go on to the field we've got a bunch of people who've gotten wheelbarrows and they're trying to recollect their their dead friends and family members and you got to tell them that this is a crime scene and they can't do that and so i can start going onto the field and it's just body i step onto the field and it's body body body body body body body body it is 20 bodies from from here to that stone over there is 20 bodies that's about was that 20 yards 20 yards 20 bodies just all over the place because the field had been separated in half by little catwalk with a bar at the end everybody who died on the east side was pulled out to safety everybody who died on the west side towards the shooter were left there to die or just left who would want to risk their lives for the collected biotic at that point and so it's just this maze of bodies and you couldn't go heel toe three steps without stepping on someone you had to gingerly make your way across and it was horrific some of them were covered but a lot of them weren't and their eyes staring up into the sky are burned into the back of my skull as i'm walking through trying to walk over these bodies trying not to step on it any of there's cops banging on uh these posh party uh porta potties just banging on it going mr police open up let us in let it come out because they were freaking out they didn't know if the gunman was out here shooting them they didn't know he they couldn't tell anything everybody was just panicked and i make my way past all this i get onto the field proper and i find a few other co-workers have shown up they've mostly like supervisors and i uh go over to them as these people come in with wheelbarrows they've gotten them from like a construction site right nearby and as they are wheeling them over i'm telling we can't get you in you can't come in here and they're like i'm not leaving without bobby i can't leave without jill and i just keep on telling him i can't let you do this and i remember there was this little like five foot like i'm six foot three and there's this little five foot girl who comes on up to um this guy called uh it's called mike he's one of my co-workers and mike was this big old guy he's like a 300 pound linebacker of a guy like six foot six huge guy comes right up to him and goes i'm an mp let me through i can help and he goes are you on duty well no then i can't let you in here because you're off duty you're just a civilian i need you to go and she starts throwing a fuss and he just picks her up puts her on her shoulder and she's just wailing on his back and just walks off with her to the exit eventually some cops come and join us and scare everybody off and i'm just standing there on the field as everybody's leaving and the uh the branch manager not just the manager the branch manager comes on over because our office was less than a block away he comes on over and he tells me dark earth it's not my real name but get to that one you've done a hell of a job tonight you just grabbed my shoulder now get the [ __ ] off this field now at that moment it just felt like a relief of duty just all that i had done all the distance i put myself and what i was doing faded away and it suddenly felt like i was in a dream suddenly everything that i had done everything that i'd seen starts just hitting me all at once and i start walking out and as i'm getting out there i'm seeing this it is this acrid smell of cheap beer and iron rusty blood that just fills the air it just eats this nauseating all-encompassing smell you can't even escape it and i realized i got blood on my hands i still have blood on my hands i'm wiping it off with my pants i get out onto the street on the east side of the event grounds there's a road and a church on that side as i get out there the gutter on this right side where everybody who was wounded or dead was on that particular side was dragged out the gutter was red with blood and this pickup truck like one of those big pickup trucks you know the moon's like they're obviously compensating for something whether like the double wheel wells i he comes honking his horn like crazy and rushing by he doesn't give a [ __ ] about the people who are just wandering through the road rot lost and as he drives by i'm seeing in the back there's like three layers deep of just body so just people i i don't even know how to begin i and i was told that the church was our meet-up point i was an emergency meet-up point was the church so i started making my way there and as i'm passing there's a little parking lot little dirt lot that we had and on the corners entered the dirt lot there was another couple of those uh bike racks that had been flipped on their side and he uses a gurney and one was completely abandoned he was just left there he was dead gone and whoever was attending him is gone too they left on the other one there was about 15 people surrounding it and this woman was just pounding on this guy's chest and they were all just saying he's gone he's gone there's nothing you can do i remember i started laughing at this point just manically i just started laughing because it was the most insane crazy impossible thing i could ever have imagined this made no russian look like like nothing looked like a little league game and i make it to the church and i find there's a couple other co-workers me but there's nowhere near as many as they should there was like a hundred of us and there's two in me i'm talking them and like hey do you know where to go where is everybody and i notice one guy has a phone but he's not doing anything i'm asking hey can i borrow your phone real quick and he's like sure go ahead so i start calling every number i can think of and of course i'm not trusting myself at all but i start calling it i call my brother no answer nothing i call my mom no answer at this point i'm trying i'm trying to excuse this i'm trying to say maybe i'm just so used to contacts and being able to just push a button and call whoever i want that maybe i have forgotten their [ __ ] phone numbers i must have right there's no way they could finally call my dad i call my dad and i'm shaking so much i call him and when he picks up its different phone i don't recognize the voice on the other hand and i just go hey is this [Music] his first last name and we had just moved from houston we had just come here so all of our phone numbers were uh texas and utah numbers he's got a vegas number he doesn't recognize who just called him by his full name and he's got a son that's missing in a mass shooting scenario and there was this long ass pregnant pause as i [ __ ] i scared the [ __ ] out of him he thought for sure this was like the coroner's office or the las vegas police department telling him that his son is dead and i'm like he's like yes it dad it's me i'm okay and he just loses it like oh my gosh you're okay doc you're all right you're all right uh your your mom's okay your brother's okay they're all okay and i just i started crying we made it out and he tells me where they're at they're at the uh are the the uh hey our little business headquarters which is less than a block away and i guide the rest of the guys we go over there and i remember as we're walking up to the place all the lights were out the cops had made sure that all the lights were out all the street lamps in the area were like barely on all the business lights were out and it was just eerie as [ __ ] it was like zombie apocalypse levels of just abandoned and weird but as we start getting close to it the front door opens up every so slightly and this head pokes out going darth and just get on in find my family i hug them to death just hug them as tight as i can because i we're just crying in this huddle together on the ground on our knees just holding each other as we're underneath this office desk and i find out what happened is that my brother had left his phone at home he had taken my mom's phone and had been calling his girlfriend at the time so i i get the phone back and i know that it has my fiance's contact on it and i call her and i let her know hey babe i'm okay remember that was the first thing i said i almost said i want you to know i'm all right and she had been like laughing with a friend at the top she had just gone off work at midnight uh in utah and she was like what's going on darth what's happened i'm like i want you to know i'm okay i'm safe everything's all right now dorothy really scaring me i told her i was in a mass shooting there are a lot of people dead i'm okay and she just starts freaking out and crying and i tell her this phone's about to die and my mom's i need to turn off i want to let you know that i love you i love you more than anything and i'm okay and so she makes me promise that as soon as i get home to call her again i hand the phone back eventually we get moved to another uh building and we got a whole bunch of people who are just scared shitless and we just sit there for an hour listening to somebody had a police radio app and we're just listening to police talk about how they were checking every single hotel because there were people who'd been shot and they had run clear across the [ __ ] strip they were over at like the aria and the paris and it was just insane and it was just causing more and more chaos because these hotel frontmen were seeing hey somebody just came in here shot and they say that there's a shooting going on obviously there's a shooter here so police are freaking the [ __ ] out they're checking all across the strip but eventually one by one they clear the whole place and they clear that there was only one shooter he was at the mandalay bay and that was it i remember hearing the all clear and my dad called the phone back and i said hey i just guys want to let you know i'm watching this on the news uh it says that there's like two dead and 20 wounded i just want that it's the other way around it's the other way around he's like no no no way maybe they were just sleeping maybe they were just hurt are you sure they were dead how do you i don't even know how to help how i was supposed to respond to that i just don't know that they're dead they were very very dead and so i i then should we hung up on that uh and three in the morning the tops and swap cleared over to us and said all right you guys if you got a car in this area you can go home and luckily we had our car there so we all got in the car and we drove back home and we drove through lines of swat officers because they had they've done like multiple perimeters around this place just to make sure that everything was safe and we're just driving through them like explain we were just there we were going home we're not doing anything we're security guards here's our badges and we make it home and we find that my dad had set up he'd actually gone to pick us up because he saw on the news they had announced hey if you've got people who are at this place you can now go and get them or something like that but we had gone on our own and so we just stumbled onto the empty house and he had this little command center up he had his phone on one news network his laptop on another and the tv on a third and i think in another room he had another tv on another news network he was trying to get any information he could get and he comes home and we all hug and we just sit on the couch and we watch the news as they finally announce this just in people this is now the deadliest shooting in u.s history 44 confirmed dead that is one more than the miami shooting just you just sit there and go like holy [ __ ] i lived through that that happened i have lived through a national once in a lifetime event and it happened to me and we just see the the kill count keep going up and up and up first just 45 then 46 48 51 53 and it just keeps going 58 people died and then next morning i was told that eric my new friend here in vegas he died he got shot in the throat and drowned in his own blood every single one of my friends died in a single year all of them and i i don't know how do you go about it tell even just realizing what the weight of that and not one of them wasn't able to go to their funeral not one after the shooting i remember the next day we went my dad wanted to celebrate us alive you want to do something special you want to cheer everybody up so we took us over to this little mom and pop bed and breakfast joint and we're all sitting down and none of us feel like eating none of us have slept that night and so we make it we start ordering and all of a sudden i hear i hear the gunshots all over again and every single person in every booth in this little restaurant all of them was playing videos from that shooting and that sound was just [ __ ] everywhere i couldn't escape it and it was just from all orgos and it was as if i was right back there i could feel the grass underneath my feet i could smell the blood and beer in my nose i could hear the screams in the distance i remember i got so upset i stood up went to the bathroom cried and just screamed into a stall i about flipped the table when i got up too i was just so upset and i didn't even meet i just i just need to go i need to leave when i came back we had our food it wasn't even good it was mediocre at best and it just was a trend uh we then went to a therapist for the next couple of days and that guy did not we told our story we told what happened we said here's what happened to us and i told him everything at the end of the session after i told him everything he didn't tell me all right here's what you're gonna do and do a meditation session or something like that no no he said wow we'll talk again next week talk again next week i poured my heart out all of my wounds that i was just feeling and everything that gone through and he was more overwhelmed than i was and we never came back to that guy went to the red cross i got five hundred dollars for what happened to me as a pity bunny and worst of all i got hacked and someone stole half of it then we went to a little memorial a little uh candlelight vigil and i told my story there and it ended up on a video it ended up on youtube i think it's like las vegas a city struggles to heal or something like that and people saw that video tracked me down and started sending me death threats accusing me of being a crisis actor that was some liberal commie fake who has just trying to take their guns and that i hadn't just lost my best friend my last friend and they told me that i was faking it they never existed at all and it was all cadavers there was a million conspiracy theories and alex jones came on in and it was just a nightmare just complete denial of reality there was just so many so much [ __ ] and it got so bad i went and i just left vegas i took a bus went over to my fiance and i just left everything and i i don't know just it's so insane to me that people care so little they care so much more about like their guns or whatever belief they have they would rather believe that people who have been through traumatic experience who had watched people die who had watched their had their friends die were fake and phonies and there was some cover-up and that there was a helicopter with an m240 saw shooting people how even in the poll you had made saying stating which of these videos sounds most interesting to you if you go all the way to the bottom you can find another person who goes uh yes i want to see what what happened when feds shot people it's everywhere it's a [ __ ] infection it's just how can someone feel that how can someone do that to people who have suffered like that it's like going up to a soldier and tell them that there was no warrior uh fake in the front here we are five years later five [ __ ] years of nothing happening uh they banned bump stocks and then nothing else changed and then we had a shooting and a month later we had another shooting it was i think that's just church one where a former marine shot up the place and he was killed by somebody else and that was the big headlines and all of a sudden i went from the most important thing ever as a survivor of the worst mass shooting in us history to a nobody the only people who cared about las vegas massacre was a people and conspiracy theorists who believed it didn't happen all the rest of the mainstream media forgot about it it's gone without the public zeitgeist it never existed anymore and now here we are with another another [ __ ] shooting with kids this time me me and eric we were 21. we were [ __ ] kids these are first second and third graders shot dead for no reason and all we're gonna get is nothing from this nothing's gonna happen no one's gonna actually say enough is enough it's time to pass some law or improve mental health or do anything everyone says everyone argues for a million different things but every time somebody goes and says all right here's funding for mental health use this for this or this here's how we stop it here we're going to make it so that uh you have to be 21 to get a rifle all of it fails all of it gets shut down all we get is a bunch of loony bins who think things didn't happen that happened and we also get a bunch of people who refuse to do anything they refuse to do anything except for what gives them another dollar what gives them another fan base whatever gets them more attention they'd rather get attention than save lives hey i can't even begin to say how to fix it maybe increase the age so that you have to be 21 before you can buy a semi-auto rifle maybe that'll help things i mean it's a lot harder to kill 20 people with a bolt-action rifle than it is of a semi-auto but it wouldn't even happen and it wouldn't fix everything because there's going to be more there's going to be other things and i am scared i read the day where i lose the title as the survivor of the worst mass shooting in us history where that's no longer the case and somebody else has it i feel like because i survived when 60 other people including eric did not that i have a responsibility to do something there must be a reason why i lived and he didn't there has to be because he had a future he was going to be a cop he was helping his family he was a good guy i was a nobody from nothing nobody from nothing who had done nothing and i walked away without a scratch and he didn't get to go home to his family laughs there's got to be a reason right and i mean life's moved on it's been five years i got married to that woman i brought her home we're about to move into a new apartment i still have a security job but it's in some place that has way less crowds and we're happy but every time another one of these shootings happen i believe my heart bleeds because they shouldn't be dying no one should be not for this after this i don't even know what to say anymore if anyone wants to ask me questions to do it hey man you know what you did amazing let's call it a night all right you did an amazing job sorry no no sorry about all the technical difficulties how long it was no this was moving it was really a privilege to hear you speak thank you i'm just a guy you're a pretty damn good one

Channel: Azeal

Views: 223,309

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Id: XXW6y8TkUW8

Length: 57min 37sec (3457 seconds)

Published: Wed May 25 2022