He is just there to enforce your rules. r/MaliciousCompliance

welcome to a new video let's take a look at some new malicious compliance stories the first story is called no vacation my father had a job as a mainframe operator for a company that had contracts doing work for state governments it involved a lot of data processing his job involved babysitting a group of servers and rebooting them when the monitoring software said they hunt occasional minor programming and annually talking to the order of the state whose contract he worked on sent in the auditor loved him because he always ensured they had detailed records ready also the contract specified that absolutely everyone on the contract had to be a US citizen and the auditor always demanded names and Social Security numbers he had about five years to go to retirement in two years he would be eligible to retire five until he maxed out his benefits they really desperately needed somebody to take the night shift so he took it he would be allowed to work from home full-time and he would be retiring soon anyway and he would save a young married family person coworker from having to do it every fall he and I have a week's vacation together in Disney World because he owns a timeshare there one year almost three years into the five he showed up looking kind of steam so after we checked in I asked him to spill the beans it seems that his company had decided to sell off the division and they were purchased by an outsourcing company in India just a week before the new company told him that he'd have to attend some mandatory meetings during our vacation when he explained that he had a vacation booked for that time and would therefore be unable to attend the meetings they said no you don't your vacation time was accrued with the old company and they approved the vacation time you have no accrued vacation time with us so if you want to take the time it'll be unpaid and we'll note in your HR record that you demanded time off without approval he and I already had a few thousand dollars sunk into the vacation so he said ok and took it unpaid when he got home he immediately looked it up and figured out that if he retired in a few months instead of waiting two more years he would get about $50 a month less money he decided that the money was worth it to him so he started the process the new employer instantly hired temps from India to work on the contract my father pointed out to them that he was responsible for proving to the auditor that only US citizens in the US were working on the project so the company flew them to the US he pointed out to the employer that still weren't us citizens they shrugged and he figured out that he would be retired before the auditor came around again so they could deal with losing the contract after he left he printed copies of his emails to them saying you can't do that or you'll lose the contract and their emails to him saying they didn't care what he said and kept the prints to cover his behind meanwhile the new company announced that he had to have a cell phone the old employer had skipped it because everybody knew that cell phones don't work at his house it had no coverage from any carrier but the new company had a heart and about it he had to spend several hours doing paperwork about it and then they sent him one it didn't work as expected so they demanded he brings it into the office in person which ate a couple of days of his work time because he had to get to a day schedule then spend a day driving it in then go back to a night schedule when he drove it in the IT looked at it and of course they found nothing wrong because there was cell coverage at the office so the IT took that one and they send him another one lather rinse repeat then he had to get back onto a day schedule for them to send a technician around to determine where at his house there was an acceptable signal so they could install a booster this took several days of his work time and of course the tech was amazed that there wasn't any place at his house with any signal at all they finally sent him a third phone and he put it in a ziplock bag and put it aside dad had a Windows XP laptop for work and the current version was Windows 7 he's not an I refuse to upgrade person the problem was that the company refused to pay for upgrades to the monitoring software for the mainframes and the version they had would only run on XP the IT department for the new company really really really wanted everyone on 7 and off of XP he and all his co-workers refused however since they all worked at the office they'd come in one morning and find they had a shiny new computer which wouldn't run any of their software so they were an entire staff of IT professionals getting paid a salary to twiddle their thumbs my dad wasn't there so IT couldn't get their hands on his laptop and he became the only person who could tell what the servers were doing IT got increasingly nasty about it until they finally cut him off the network entirely and he had to get his boss to intervene the time finally came for him to retire IT had been nagging him several times a day to make an appointment with him on retiring day to give them his laptop and the unused cell phone and he had to have a good bike meeting with his boss anyway so he was going in instead of mailing things when the day rolled around he went in and IT met him first and took the laptop to be wiped and disposed of then he met with his boss they chatted for a while and then it occurred to the boss that the laptop kind of matter because it was literally the only computer left in the company with which they could run the vital monitoring software my dad said the IT took it from me an hour ago to wipe it the boss actually screamed and ran out of the room my dad waited awhile and left he never saw the boss again and that's what happens when you don't listen to the people with experience the next story is called I expect everyone to wear their best clothing at the time I was working as an accountant there were seven of us plus our office manager we were part of a larger chain so occasionally the owner and managing director would visit now our office was located on the outskirts of an industrial estate and the attire was smart casual very relaxed atmosphere and we had a reputation for being the front branch well as fun as visiting an accountant can be anyway this story starts like so many others when a new manager comes in on his first day a Thursday we can see he's going to be difficult he turns up in a gleaming BMW full suit-and-tie full on a professional look attitude to match at the end of his second day he sent a branch wide memo that he expected us to dress more appropriately that all staff was to wear full business suits men with ties women with a skirts he also complained that the staff cars were too grubby our desks were untidy and did not reflect our profession he also insisted that when referring to each other in phone calls or emails we called each other by last name rather than the first name but that has no further bearing in the tale now as I mentioned were located on an industrial estate and the vast majority of our clients were small self owned businesses they already thought we were dressed well because they'd turn up in messy jeans and t-shirts driving beat up old vans after work we all went to the pub without the new manager and moaned a bit but thought he's just flexing his managerial muscles humor him and he'll start to relax the following week we turn up as requested and had our cars washed desks somewhat tire everything seems to be going fairly well until the next Friday when we receive another email to all whilst I recognize that there has been some improvement in the staffs and office appearance I feel there is still significant room for further improvement as you may know the owner is visiting at 10:30 a.m. on Monday I expect all staff to wear their best clothing for desks to be tidy and vehicles to be washed the new manager again we went to the pub this time we schemed he wanted a good impression he will get one I'm sure a lot of you are thinking you just turned up in really nice suits better than his and showed him up we did but we did much more - we contacted the cleaner who cleaned our office on Saturdays ask her if she's ok going overboard on the cleaning she agrees extra work for her means more money for her one of our clients happens to be in the classic car business mainly weddings he's been a client for years and we get on really well we ask if we can borrow a couple of cars as all who needed to drive could all carpool in - he agrees his business was quiet so long as we pay for the petrol which split seven ways was totally worth it roll on Monday morning a rolls-royce phantom three and a lagonda meticulously polished a sitting in our car park sunlight glinting off the body work inside the desks are completely clear the medals bins polished door handles polished even our filing cabinet handles and our pencil sharpeners had been polished it looked better than new the men are all wearing black tie dinner suits with waistcoats with a fresh rose in the buttonhole sterling silver cuff links beards are trimmed or totally shaven two of us even waxed our mustaches women are in stunning evening dresses sparkly jewelry and fancy hair we even brought in a hat stand and place bowlers and top hats on it for extra fanciness essentially we look like we were expecting to see the Queen walk in the new manager pulls up with the owner as a passenger you can see them both looked briefly puzzled but they must have assumed that the classic car client must be visiting so walk in chatting his face drops he stops mid-sentence he is the worst dressed barring the owner who was smart casual had the scruffy Ascar and his desk was the messiest we get eyes that say if I could fire you all right now I would the owner and the new manager go into his office to discuss something eventually the owner comes out the manager remains in his office to deal with something the owner catches one of my leagues to ask what the hell we're doing colleague just pulls up the email and says he insisted we wore our absolute best for you so we did owner stifles our laughs he can see exactly what we've done fortunately we all knew him and his relaxed attitude so we knew we'd probably get away with it he half-heartedly chides us for being petty when the manager is coming out of the office once the owner has gone and the manager returns he writes us a blazing email saying something along the lines of you might think you're funny I don't if you all want to turn up to work scruffy go ahead look unprofessional we return to our usual casualness the day after clearly to his disfavor and after a few weeks the manager transfers to a different branch our new manager was one of us lower ranks promoted so the casual atmosphere continued to rain the new manager snubbed us whenever we saw him which was fortunately rare the last story is called I don't make the rules I just enforce them this story happened about a year ago it requires a lot of context so I'm sorry about the length but it's unavoidable so I work in college dorms in a sort of generic first response role we do a bit of everything mostly security but also medical fire psych it's weird and often quite a tough job but quite rewarding these dorms are kind of like a gated community a couple of miles away from the main campus at the top of this village there's a hub where all the staff is based it also serves as a venue for events and has some facilities for students like catering gym etc as well as a few meeting facilities in the staff area which any department in the college can book out if they so wish between the staff parking spots and the back doors there are also disabled parking spaces now one day I was coming in for my ten-hour night shift and to my dismay I found that all the staff parking spots were occupied which basically never happens but I knew that the HR department had a big thing there that afternoon so I figured out what was going on and though it's not technically against the parking policy usually staff who don't actually work in the building are expected to park in the visitor parking bays not the staff parking so I had a problem it was 10 minutes until the start of my shift I'm not allowed to use the student car parks what about visitor parking well that gets locked up overnight until after my shift ends if I park there then in the morning I'd have to go unlock the visitor parking bring the key back leave and one of my days shift colleagues would have to go lock it back up my only other option was to park down the hill but then by the time I got there and walked back up I'd be late for my shift and missed the handover you see where this is going I want to make it clear that I would never normally Park in a disabled Bay it's generally a scummy thing to do I'm disabled myself but not in a way that entitles me to use disabled parking however there are a few things to note here nobody ever uses those bays unless we have a disabled person coming in for an event because the back door is keycard access only and there's no bail so it's little used to students or members of the public unless they've made a prior arrangement to be let in there weren't any events scheduled that night and the chances of someone disabled randomly deciding they need to park at the back of the hub which is near nothing else unannounced is negligible never mind three of them besides in the middle of the night they could just park next to it at the side of the road because there's about as much traffic there at night as on route 50 so I decided I'd park in one of the disabled bays the one farthest from the door next to the staff spaces due to the long and unsociable hours I get to take breaks liberally as long as it doesn't interfere with anything in the extremely unlikely event that more than two disabled people had called in to park and access the building which I'd find out about during handover I just take a break right after starting drive my car away down the hill and walk back up I go in get the handover and as expected no one is expected to come in I was the supervisor for that shift so I set up my colleagues for the shift blog on set up the cameras the way I want them read my emails and turn on my radio after a while I get one of the guys Phil to cover the cameras so I can go tell a resident he's getting disciplined for vandalism I then have one of those golden sitcom moments where I open the office door right before someone was about to knock on it I recognized her immediately she's the Dean of facilities will call her Karen now we're not in the facilities section weren't in the auxilary services section so this lady is not my boss in any capacity she is however far higher up the food chain than me so it's this awkward situation where unless I have a great reason not to I still have to bow down to her or I'll get called in to HR for insubordination especially since the building we're in is quickly operated by the facilities section some more context Karen is one of the most hated figures among low level staff in the entire college your classic power trip you can practically see the perverse arousal in her eyes whenever she talks down to anyone on a lower salary than her and she's pulled no end of downright evil crap in her many years with the institution so a startled Karen practically pushes me back into the office it turns out she was attending whatever event the HR department had on in the building that afternoon and she was one of the people parked in the staff spaces out back now she doesn't have an office in the building so by convention she should be parking in the visitor spaces but again that's not technically in the policy anyway she saw my car parked in the disabled Bay on her way back to her car she knows who I am we've had numerous always unpleasant interactions in the past and she saw my name on the staff sticker in my windshield where do you get off thinking you can park in the disabled bay well nobody uses those so you think you're above the rules just because it's you who enforces them look it's no big deal I'll go move the car no not on the college's time you don't I'll take it off my brake no brakes are for relaxation moving your car is not relaxation well then what do you want me to do I want you to issue yourself the standard $70 fine are you serious absolutely you need to learn that you don't make the rules you just enforce them at this point I stare at her in disbelief now I have a short fuse at the best of times and I really want to yell at her but I value my job so I swallow my pride and go write myself a ticket more context here we're essentially subcontracted by the city to do the parking and traffic enforcement for all roads and parking on College land so the authority behind these tickets is the city not the college I know if I go talk to that vandal student now I'll just let off steam at the kid unfairly when it already wasn't gonna be a pleasant talking to and I know that sitting and staring at the cameras would just make me see so I go restock the staff kitchen then talk to the kid and after that I get back to the office bear in mind that Phil my buddy who I put on the cameras witnessed the whole thing is she still here I asked she's just on her way out now he says pointing at one of the cameras followed by that's weird she's leaving through the front Charon regularly comes here to use the gym at the end of the workday it's free for students and staff that's presumably what she was doing today - seeing as it's now been a good 45 minutes since she humiliated me when she does that she takes a cab home because she lives at the opposite end of the city and traffic is a nightmare at this time in the evening and we all know it's a million times less awful being stuck in traffic if it isn't you who's driving she then takes a cab back in the next morning to pick up her car and drive to the main campus it's now that I make a beautiful realization I pull up the parking policy scroll through it and there it is in delicious bold lettering it is not permissible for members of staff to leave their cars parked in a staff parking area during non-working hours it then lists a few exceptions mainly breaks and stuff like that none of which apply to Karen so I'm about to write a ticket when I have an even better idea you see our cameras are pretty snazzy about six years ago all the cameras that monitor the roadways were updated to plate recognition cameras by the city so now on top of 40 days of saved camera footage we also have the plate log which has so far been kept indefinitely and can be used to figure out when a car entered the compound and when a car left since we only have three entry and exit roads I explained my plan to Phil he has absolutely no reservations about doing me a solid and spending time going back through the plate log system to see how many times Karen has left her car park here overnight four hours later and he's assembled all the dates over the past four years and however many months weeks and days since the plate system came online Karen has left her car overnight on a staggering 585 separate occasions so I log into the city's fine portal software that's actually what it's called you can only write tickets for ongoing and momentum violations if you spot something using auxilary systems like cameras or what have you after the fact you need to issue a fine by mail I put in her office address and start entering all 585 dates times and copy and paste a reference to the exact part of the parking policy as well as the city statute that gives this policy the force of law for every single one the result is a thing of beauty spanning 13 pages and totaling 40,000 at this point all the guys are back in the office so I call them around knowing they'll all enjoy this almost as much as me when I press log and print I'm hit with a warning I've never seen before the fine you are about to issue exceeds ten thousand are you sure you wish to proceed everyone is dumbstruck I start laughing then Phil and then everyone else it's glorious I print it stuff it in a windowed prepaid city envelope and put it in the external mail the city doesn't allow us to use the internal mail nor hand-deliver finds I guess it's for paper trail reasons the cherry on top is I then get to also issue a ticket and put it under her windshield because of course she's also there that night of course the next time I come into work after she receives this she's waiting for me in the office what the hell do you really think this is gonna fly me with puppy-dog eyes what do you mean the ticket the freaking fines do you really think this will fly rules are rules Karen you know as well as I do that's never actually been done here well Karen I don't make the rules I just enforce them she leaves without saying another word now there's more to this some good some bad I'll start with the bad Karen ended up suing I had to go to court on my day off the silver lining was I was theoretically there representing the city and so I wasn't being sued personally and had the city attorney the court ended up reducing the fine to ten thousand which was apparently the city's maximum for post facto fines issued at one time I guess that's why the warning was there but Karen had sued to get the fine dismissed entirely so it was still a victory she also tried to take it up with HR but the Dean of auxiliary services also hates her and he stuck up for me to HR so that went nowhere the best think though this year I was appointed to the auxilary Services policy Review Board last week I managed to get the parking policy amended it now says that if staff visited building other than where their offices unless they are teaching a class they need to use visitor parking if there are fewer than 20 staff parking bays at the building and there are empty visitor Bay's so starting in June Karen won't be allowed to park in the staff spots at all and of course all of us will be vigilantly enforcing that thanks for watching the video I hope you enjoyed it if you did please consider subscribing to the channel for more content let me know what you think about the stories in the comment section below have a great day bye bye

Channel: PenguinStoryTime

Views: 146,339

Rating: 4.6964006 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, penguin storytime, penguin storytime r/maliciouscompliance, r\\, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, maliciouscompliance, malicious, compliance, r/maliciouscompliance, reddit malicious compliance, reddit stories, storytime, reddit story, r\, reddit maliciouscompliance, rslash maliciouscompliance, r maliciouscompliance, malicious compliance, reddit compliance

Id: WqP2mMDWZBQ

Length: 20min 10sec (1210 seconds)

Published: Fri Jun 28 2019