>> THAT FELT REALLY GOOD. HAPPY TUESDAY EVERYONE. IN MONDAY'S TV ADDRESS, PRESIDENT BIDEN APPEAR TO HAVE A SPRAY TAN. AIDS SAY HE TRIED USING A TANNING BED BUT WHEN THEY CLOSE TO THE LID, DOCTOR JILL KEPT THROWING DIRT AND FLOWERS ON TOP. WHEN MEDIA BROUGHT UP BIDEN'S FRESHLY DARK IN COMPLEXION, DEMOCRAT LEADERS REPLIED IT'S ALL PART OF THEIR PLAN TO GRADUALLY REPLACE HIM WITH A PERSON OF COLOR. U.S. MILITARY BASES IN EUROPE ARE ON HIGH ALERT BECAUSE OF INTELLIGENCE ABOUT A POSSIBLE TERROR ATTACK. WHEN REACHED FOR COMMENT GOT JOE BIDEN SAID, SOMEONE SHOULD TELL THE PRESIDENT. THE BIDEN CAMPAIGN SENT OUT AN E-MAIL ACCUSING IT'S CRITICS OF BEING A BUNCH OF BAD WATERS. ISN'T THAT THE BEDPAN CALLING THE KETTLE WET? TALK ABOUT PROJECTION, WHAT'S NEXT, OLING BIDEN CRITICS WALKING CORPSES WHO [ BLEEP ] THEIR PANTS IN FRONT OF THE POPE AND WON'T ACKNOWLEDGE THEIR GRANDCHILDREN? DID I HURT SOMEBODY'S FEELINGS? YOU KNOW WHERE THE EXIT IS. DEMOCRATIC STRATEGIST JAMES CARVILLE DOUBLE DOWN ON HIS WARNING THAT THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY'S MESSAGING IS TOO FEMININE." MANY OBSERVERS WOULD DISAGREE. AND WATERGATE LEGEND CARL BERNSTEIN SAYS THERE'S BEEN A COVER-UP OF JOE BIDEN'S MENTAL DECLINE. AND LIKE 50 YEARS AGO, HE RELIED ON AN INSIDER CODENAMED DEEP THROAT. YOU DIRTY PIGS. SO WE LIVE IN AN INCREDIBLE MOMENT. IT'S NOT OFTEN WE GET TO SEE A MASSIVE HOAX EXPOSED BEFORE US AND THE WORLD. THAT ONLY HAPPENS IN MOVIES AND EVERY SCOOBY-DOO EPISODE EVER MADE. >> I'M SURE YOU WILL RECOGNIZE. >> WELL, WELL. >> JUST AS WE THOUGHT. [ Crowd Noise ] >> THERE IS SOME MOVEMENT AND I DON'T WANT -- I DON'T WANT -- CHANGE MY WORDS. THERE'S SOME MOVEMENT, THERE'S BEEN A RESPONSE FROM THE -- THE -- THERE'S BEEN A RESPONSE FROM THE OPPOSITION BUT, YES, I'M SORRY. >> Greg: IT'S THE PERFECT METAPHOR FOR THIS BIDEN MASS WHERE WE ARE TOLD THE VILLAIN IS ONE THING BUT IT TURNS OUT TO BE SOMETHING ELSE. CONSIDER YESTERDAY'S SUPREME COURT DECISION ON PRESIDENTIAL IMMUNITY. IN THE DESCENT, A C FRETTING ABOUT HOW FAR TRUMP WOULD TAKE IT, WRITING "HE WILL NOW BE INSULATED FROM CRIMINAL PROSECUTION, ORDERS THE NAVY SEAL TEAM SIX TO ASSASSINATE A POLITICAL RIVAL, IMMUNE, ORGANIZES A MILITARY COUP TO HOLD ONTO POWER, IMMUNE, TAKES A PRIVATE EXCHANGE FOR A PARDON, IMMUNE, IMMUNE, IMMUNE, IMMUNE. BUT THAT'S ALL BS AND IT'S SCARY COMING FROM A SUPREME COURT JUSTICE. SOME WISE LATINA, SHE MAKES AOC SEAM LIKE FDR. EVERYTHING SHE SUGGESTS THE PRESIDENT WOULD FACE IMPEACHMENT FOR AND THEN A TRIAL, BUT SURPRISE, THE MEDIA PLAYED ALONG. >> PRESUMABLY IF HE WERE TO USE SEAL TEAM SIX TO TRY TO ASSASSINATE ONE OF HIS POLITICAL OPPONENTS, SO LONG AS HE DID IT THROUGH THE AUSPICES OF THE PRESIDENCY, LET'S SAY USE THE NSA TO SAY LET ME INVESTIGATE THE BIDEN'S AS A NATIONAL SECURITY THREAT, AND THEN WE NEED TO GO AHEAD AND ASSASSINATE THEM WHEN THEY TAKE A FOREIGN TRIP, WE WILL JUST GO AHEAD AND USE DRONES TO ASSASSINATE THEM LET'S SAY IN A FOREIGN COUNTRY, WE WILL USE SEAL TEAM SIX TO GO IN AND GET THEM LIKE THEY GOT BIN LADEN, AS LONG AS THEY DO IT THROUGH THE OFFICIAL APPARATUS OF THE PRESIDENCY, THEY CAN DO IT. >> GIVEN THE HYPOTHETICALS OVER THE COURSE OF THE ARGUMENTS INCLUDED THINGS LIKE CAN THE PRESIDENT ASSASSINATE ARRIVAL, I THINK WE HAVE TO LOOK AT THE SUPREME COURT'S AFFIRMATIVE ANSWER TO THAT. YES, YOU CAN. WITH AS MUCH SERIOUSNESS AS IT DESERVES. I MEAN THIS IS A DEATH SQUAD RULING. >> Greg: I LIKE THAT GUY. CHRIS HAYES. LUCKILY SHE ONLY WORKS MONDAY'S AND HAS SIX DAYS TO CALM DOWN. BUT THE LIBS ONCE AGAIN RELY ON EXTREME FANTASY. THE PRESIDENT CAN USE SEAL TEAM SIX TO TAKE OUT CRITICS? IF HE USES IT ON THE VIEW THEY'D BE CALLED NEIL TEAM SIX. HOW WOULD TRUMP TAKE OUT BIDEN, MAKE HIM CLIMB STAIRS? WOULD HE SLIP POISON INTO NANCY PELOSI'S BOTOX, SWITCH OUT JERRY'S DEPENDS WITH A SUICIDE DIAPER? IN A PERFECT ACT OF KARMA HE COULD TIE MITT ROMNEY TO THE ROOF OF THE PRESIDENTIAL LIMO OR MAY BE TRUMP COULD PROSECUTE HIS POLITICAL MNES -- ENEMIES ON CHARGES NOBODY CAN EXPLAIN. THAT WOULD BE NEW. BUT THIS DECISION IS EASILY EXPLAINED. ON ONE HAND IF THE PRESIDENT HAS NO IMMUNITY FOR OFFICIAL ACTIONS, WE END UP WITH A LEADER WEIGHING OPTIONS ON WHETHER HE WILL HAVE TO DEFEND HIM IN COURT SOMEDAY. HE WILL BE MORE GUN SHY THAN ALEC BALDWIN'S ASSISTANT. BUT DO WE WANT A PRESIDENT WHOSE IMMUNE FROM ALL PROSECUTION? THAT'S ALL THIS WAS, A GUIDE ON THE LIMITS OF PRESIDENTIAL POWER, BUT HOW DO YOU EXPECT A MAN WITH 1 FOOT IN HIS MOUTH AND THE OTHER IN THE GRAVE TO UNDERSTAND THAT? >> TODAY'S DECISION ALMOST CERTAINLY MEANS THERE ARE VIRTUALLY NO LIMITS TO WHAT A PRESIDENT CAN DO. THIS IS A FUNDAMENTALLY NEW PRINCIPAL. AND IT'S A DANGEROUS PRECEDENT. BECAUSE THE POWER OF THE OFFICE WILL NO LONGER BE CONSTRAINED BY THE LAW, EVEN INCLUDING THE SUPREME COURT OF THE UNITED STATES. >> Greg: SHOT UP, NOBODY'S LISTENING. WE ARE JUST WAITING TO SEE IF YOU DON'T KEEL OVER. THIS RULING ACTUALLY MEANT TRUMP COULD DO WHATEVER HE WANTS, WITH THE NOT APPLY TO THE SITTING PRESIDENT? I SAY SITTING BECAUSE STANDING IS A LOT TO ASK OF JOE THESE DAYS. CHEWING IS ASKING A LOT OF HIM THESE DAYS. IT'S NOT LIKE BIDEN OR WHOEVER IS RUNNING THE SHOW WOULDN'T USE THESE NEWFOUND POWERS. THIS IS THE WHITE HOUSE THAT BROUGHT FORWARD TRUMP CRIMINAL CASES ALONG WITH AN UNELECTED DEFENSE ATTORNEY WHO CHASES TRUMP THE WAY NAVARRO TRAILS THE HOT DOG VENDORS OF SIXTH AVENUE. IF BIDEN HANDLERS THOUGHT THEY COULD DRONE THE RNC, BIDEN'S TELEPROMPTER WOULD READ READY, AIM, FIRE AND BIDEN WOULD SAY READY, AIM, FIRE, END OF QUOTE. BUT WHY IS EVERY SUPREME COURT DECISION OR WORD SPOKEN BY TRUMP CAUSING A MELTDOWN USUALLY SEEN IN JESSE'S DRESSING ROOM WHEN HE RUNS OUT OF AQUA NET? THIS IS USUALLY WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SEE EVERYTHING THROUGH THE PRISM OF ONE MAN, WHEN ONE HUMAN BEING BECOMES THE EMBODIMENT OF ALL THE SHORTCOMINGS AND FEARS IN YOUR LIFE. I SWEAR I HAVEN'T SEEN ONE GUY CAUSED AS MUCH HYSTERIA SINCE I DID MY LAST BOOK TOUR SHIRTLESS. SO IS THIS THE END OF THE WORLD? IF YOU ARE ONE OF THE MEDIA OR ENABLERS WHO'S BEEN HIDING THE NATION'S MOST EMINENT DEMENTIA PATIENT, THE ANSWER IS YES, IT IS. YOU'VE BEEN EXPOSED, LIKE ME WHEN I FORGET TO WEAR PANTS UNDER MY CHOPS. SO ONCE AGAIN, THE LEFT TRIES TO DIVERT US FROM THAT OTHER STORY THAT THE ONE ABOUT US NOT HAVING A PRESIDENT. LOOK OVER HERE, IGNORE THAT VEGETABLE, BUT THERE'S A CONTRADICTION. FIRST, IF TRUMP IS SO EVIL, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO MAKE UP THESE CRIMES? AND IF DEFEATING TRUMP IS SO VITAL TO SAVING THE WORLD, WHY ARE YOU CLOWNS RUNNING A GLAZED DONUT AGAINST HIM? BUT YOU SEE, IF THEY DON'T MAKE THE STORY ALL ABOUT THE TRUMP APOCALYPSE, WE ARE BACK TO AN UNFIT BIDEN. SO THEY PAVE IT BACK TO THE SAME PREPOSTEROUS PLACE, TRUMPED ARRANGEMENT FUELED BY HYSTERIA WHICH REVEALS TWO PROBLEMS. FOR THE DEMOCRATS THIS HYSTERIA IS A DRUG TO ESCAPE REALITY. LIFE SUCKS RIGHT NOW BUT IF I JUST TAKE MORE OF THIS FANTASY PILL, IT TEMPORARILY GOES AWAY. BUT INSTEAD IT GETS WORSE BECAUSE THIS APOCALYPTIC -- APOCALYPTIC FILTER YIELDS NO PREDICTIONS IN OVERTIME PEOPLE LEARN YOUR RANTINGS ARE JUST HOAXES. IT'S HOW YOU END UP WITH ONE OF THE BIGGEST POLITICAL SCAMS IN HISTORY EXPOSED. SO WHAT YOU ARE WITNESSING IS THE END OF AN ERA, AN ERA WHERE HOAXES WERE THE FOUNDATION FOR POWER. MAYBE NOW WE CAN GET BACK TO NORMAL, WHERE GOVERNANCE IS BASED ON ABILITY AND NOT SOMETHING IMAGINARY LIKE JOE'S PULSE. LET'S WELCOME TONIGHT'S GUESTS! HE'S HANDLED MORE ROLES THAN A MASSEUSE FOR THE VIEW, COMEDIAN TYLER FISHER. SHE PUTS HER MONEY WHERE HER MOUTH IS BUT IT REALLY SHOULD BE IN A BANK, FINANCIAL ANALYST HEATHER ZUMARRAGA. WHEN SHE WEARS STRIPES, SHE LOOKS LIKE A BARCODE, NEW YORK TIMES BEST-SELLING AUTHOR AND FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR KAT TIMPF. HE TURNS ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT BUFFETS INTO ALL WE HAVE LEFT BUFFETS, NEW YORK TIMES BEST-SELLING AUTHOR AND COMEDIAN, TYRUS. HOW DO YOU THINK, TYLER, TRUMP WOULD REACT TO THE SUPREME COURT DECISION ABOUT PRESIDENTIAL IMMUNITY? >> WELL FIRST OF ALL, EXCUSE ME, HE'S DOING ORANGE FACE SO HE'S CULTURALLY APPROPRIATING ME WITH ORANGE PACE, KIND OF LIKE BLACK FACE YOU THINK ABOUT IT. SOME PEOPLE CALL HIM THE SITTING PRESIDENT, I CALL HIM THE [ BLEEP ] PRESIDENT [ BLEEP ]. BUT JFK, THINK ABOUT IT, THEY HAD TO HAVE A SECOND SHOOTER. FOR BIDEN IT WOULD BE A BANANA PEEL, THE SECOND SHOOTER WOULD BE A FALL BREEZE. JUST LIKE TEDDY ROOSEVELT, THEY SHOT HIM AND HE KEPT TALKING. BIDEN GETS A QUESTION AND HE DIES. NOT SO GOOD. >> THIS IS ALL A FARCE AT THIS POINT. IT'S HARD. DO YOU REMEMBER FIRE MARSHAL BILL? HE STARTING TO LOOK LIKE THAT. HE'S JUST LIKE. THEY JUST KIND OF HAVE HIM -- PUT A STICK UP HIS [ BLEEP ] AND WILL COME OUT. >> Greg: YOU ARE RIGHT. YOU KNOW WHAT PEOPLE HAVEN'T TALKED ABOUT, THE SILENT JOE, NOT THE TALKING JOE PUT THE SILENT JOE IN THE DEBATE WHERE IT WAS JUST THIS DEATH CASE. IT WAS ACTUALLY SUPER CREEPY. IT WAS LIKE FROZEN. >> I THOUGHT MY COMPUTER FROZE. I STARTED HITTING MY COMPUTER. I MOVED THE TIMELINE UP TO MINUTES AND HE'S STILL... >> Greg: THAT'S THE SCENE IN MOVIES WHERE SOMEBODY WALKS OVER, LIKE THE COFFIN GOES LIKE THIS OVER THE EYES. WHY DO THEY DO THAT? HAD THERE, ALWAYS GOOD TO SEE YOU. WE HAVEN'T TALKED SINCE THE DEBATE. IS IT MY BREATH? >> NO! >> Greg: WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE SUPREME COURT DECISION, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF EVERYTHING? >> MADDOW SAYING YOU CAN POLITICALLY ASSASSINATE SOMEONE. SHE'S OFF HER ROCKER! LAST I CHECKED PRESIDENT TRUMP WAS THE PRESIDENT FOR FOUR YEARS, DID NOT KILL ANYBODY THAT WE KNOW OF AND HE ALSO LEFT OFFICE, HE'S NOT A DICTATOR, WHICH HE ACCUSED HIM OF BEING. THERE IS SOMETHING CALLED TERM LIMIT SO YES, HE COULD BE PRESIDENT AGAIN, HE'S NOT GOING TO KILL ANYBODY. I THINK THE RULING IS A BIG BLOW TO DEMOCRATS, A HUGE WIN FOR REPUBLICANS AND PRESIDENT TRUMP BECAUSE THEIR WISH WILL NOT COME TRUE OF GAGGING HIM AND A COURTROOM OR JAIL CELL SO THEY CAN CHEAT AND WIN THE RACE. THEY ACTUALLY HAVE TO WIN FARE AND SQUARE, AND HONEST RACE. >> Greg: GOD FOR BID. NOW THESE SLEEPY HEADS OR CLAPPING. KAT, THIS IS A BIG EGO PLOY, ALL THESE PEOPLE CLAIMING THEY WILL BE TARGETS. NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOU, RACHEL. >> I'M SURE SOMEONE OUT THERE DOES. LOOK, IN GENERAL I'M ALL FOR ACCOUNTABILITY FOR OUR LEADERS, ALL FOR THAT. I'M CONFUSED BY A LOT OF THE REACTION TO THIS BECAUSE IT SAID OFFICIAL ACTS BUT IT DID NOT REALLY GET INTO WHAT THOSE SPECIFICALLY WORK. IT KIND OF KICKED THE CAN ELSEWHERE FOR THAT. I DON'T UNDERSTAND. I SPECIFICALLY DON'T UNDERSTAND THE ASSASSINATION THING. BECAUSE IT SAYS THIS DOES NOT APPLY TO PRIVATE ACTS AND I DO FEEL LIKE ASSASSINATION, YOU KEEP THAT ON THE DOWN LOW. >> Greg: YES! >> I HAVE HEARD THAT ABOUT ASSASSINATION, THAT'S LIKE THE MOST DOWN LOW THING YOU CAN DO IS ASSASSINATE SOMEONE, THEY CAN'T KNOW IT WAS YOU. AND ALSO IT SEEMS LIKE SOME OF THESE PEOPLE IRONICALLY ARE ALMOST TAKING TRUMP AT HIS WORD A BIT BECAUSE TRUMP IS THE ONE WHO'S BEEN SAYING I'M IMMUNE TO EVERYTHING FROM WHEN I WAS PRESIDENT, I'M IMMUNE TO AT ALL. THAT'S NOT WHAT THIS SAYS AND IN FACT IT'S NOT EVEN WHAT HIS LAWYERS WERE ARGUING. BUT THEN THAT IS WHAT WE ARE HEARING PEOPLE FLIP OUT ABOUT WHO ARE CONCERNED ABOUT IT. IT'S ALMOST LIKE THEY ARE TAKING HIM IRONICALLY AT HIS WORD A BIT >> Greg: YOU KNOW,, TYRUS, IS THIS THE SHINY OBJECT TO DIVERT FROM THE REAL STORY WHICH IS STILL JOE BIDEN IS NOT PRESIDENT >> A SHINY OBJECT IS THE ON SHINY OBJECT COMING OUT OF HIS EYES. NOT PRESENT, NO LIGHTS, HE WOULD NOT GO TO TRICK-OR-TREATING IF JOE BIDEN WAS A HOUSE. NO KIDS, THE LIGHTS OUT, THE LAWN LOOKS LIKE [ BLEEP ], THIS HOUSE NEEDS TO BE FORECLOSED TACKLES KEEP MOVING. BUT I THINK WHAT WE ARE SEEING IS PEOPLE ARE COMING OUT AND TRYING TO PLAY THIS HE'S GOING TO COME AFTER ME. NO, THE LAW WILL COME AFTER YOU. WHEN YOU MAKE DEALS WITH THE ADMINISTRATION TO GET ALL THE INTERVIEWS AND ALL THE LITTLE THINGS AND ALL THE BOOKINGS TO PLAY BALL WITH THEM AND THEY'VE ALL DONE IT, THEY PUSHED THE RUSSIA SCHEME, THEY PUSH WHATEVER THE WHITE HOUSE SENDS AND WE SAW IT AGAIN TODAY. SO NOW WE ARE STARTING TO SEE THROUGH THE CO-CONSPIRATORS ARE BECAUSE THEY HAVE TO DOUBLE DOWN BECAUSE THEY ARE IN TOO DEEP BECAUSE EVENTUALLY, AND TO PIGGYBACK OFF THE DOWN LOW THING. THE DOWN LOW IN THIS RELATIONSHIP IS KAMALA HARRIS. SHE'S EVENTUALLY GOING TO TALK AND WILL PROBABLY BE THE ONE LEAKING STUFF OUT AS LONG AS THEY CONTINUE TO GO THIS ROUTE WHICH SHE MIGHT BE THE ALLIED WE NEVER THOUGHT WE HAD IN TERMS OF GETTING TO THE TRUTH OF THIS. EVERYONE SAYING HE'S GOING TO COME AFTER ME SO THAT'S THEIR DEFENSE. NO, YOU LIED TO THE AMERICAN PEOPLE, ALL THE THINGS YOU ACCUSED HIM OF, YOU WERE DOING IT IN BROAD DAYLIGHT AND NOW THE JIG IS UP. WE ALL SEE IT, THE LIGHTS ARE OUT IN THE HOUSE. YOU WANT TO SAY IT WASN'T ME BUT IT WAS YOU. HE DOES NOT HAVE TO GO AFTER THEM BUT THE DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE SHOULD ALREADY BE LOOKING INTO THIS. YOU KNOW HE CAN'T SERVE, WE SAW IT. >> Greg: YES, IT WAS A DISASTER. ALL RIGHT, UP NEXT, TOOK DOWN TRICKY DICK AND NOW SAYS BIDEN IS SICK.
