Gutfeld: Be nicer. It will drive your enemies nuts

[Applause] you want to drive your enemies nuts have a lot more fun than they are remember I said would I be a little bit wild and would have a lot of fun they'd say he's not acting presidential and I'd say well it's a lot easier to act presidential than to do what I do [Applause] ladies and gentlemen of the state of Florida thank you very much for being here you are tremendous people and I will leave now because I am boring you to death thank you can any president in history except for possibly Abe Lincoln with the big head I don't know Abe Lincoln with the big hat could you imagine Abe and Trump in a debate check out mr. big head over here mr. big hat what's he hiding under there mr. big hat and other smaller hats all right so what's all this fun causing the people not having fun are getting sick of you of Trump of themselves for example since Trump got elected there's been a jump in patients suffering from what scientists call Trump anxiety disorder or tad tad isn't everything bad named tad I mean do you know a good tad by the way that was a tadpole went a long way for that joke long way wasted a lot of time for that one all right according to CBC News a symptom of tad as a feeling as if the world is ending wonder who's spreading that Donald Trump and his erratic behavior could be leading the United States towards World War three violating millions of people if this border wall happens it will be an unprecedented environmental catastrophe we can't begin to normalize this this is dangerous this is childish this is unpresidential this is it's the end of the presidential race and it feels like the end of the world of course now it's easy to mock this suffering but I'm not when you see what's coming out of the quivering Cronkite's you can't blame gentler Souls for falling ill there's a whole industry selling us fear and they're calling it facts that's another symptom that the fear spreads faster than a cold sore from Bill Clinton fear sells fear sells yourself so now the media has replaced climate change with Trump change as an apocalyptic wish-fulfillment everything bad in this world is Trump's fault pick any bad news and you can trace it back to him even stuff that happened before he was born World War one Trump's false World War to Trump's fault synchronized swimming Trump's fault the problem things just keep getting better we're doing pretty good with North Korea in the Middle East GDP is going up and unemployment keeps dropping consumer confidence is higher than Obama's mom jeans we have peace and prosperity yet the other networks seem C doomsday every day is doomsday and there's the problem if every day is doomsday how do you know what the real doomsday is what we need is a super-duper doomsday what if everything you knew about doomsday was wrong get ready for super duper doomsday where it's really really the end of the world for sure no lie it's going to happen we swear so buckle up you're going to die and so is everyone else it all starts when President Trump severely slices a tee shot while golfing at mar-a-lago the ball careens off into space striking a nearby asteroid which then crashes into the moon splitting it into thousands of pieces moon fragments smash earth TV satellites causing them to only broadcast the view 24 hours a day this causes the world IQ to plummet dramatically except for Chris Cuomo he actually becomes smarter let's get after it human idiots begin chasing each other in stores with alligators causing Dana Perino to swear like a sailor turtles quickly become the dominant species and start eating everything causing them to grow at an exponential rate the UN responds by making another movie about ABBA that sucks so bad it causes the Sun to hurl itself into Jupiter causing all of our blenders to make nothing but the worst kind of virgin daiquiris meanwhile the giant turtles have begun to devour entire cities causing Don Lemon to speak in reverse English don't believe what you see with her own ears within hours only a few hundred humans remain as the final survivors mount a last stand by electing Adam Levine as their leader he tries to make peace by singing [Music] upon hearing this the earth itself implodes destroying everything ever created except a doomsday bunker fold my pillows thus completing super duper doomsday [Music] [Applause] all right so the ugly truth as the media Hollywood academia deplore Trump they wouldn't exist without him seriously if Trump were to disappear what would they be doing so if you think these people are sick from Trump anxiety just imagine their Trump withdrawal talk about a doomsday fact is you can't go back after Donald Donald T's introduce something into politics that we haven't seen in quite a while it's energy media anxiety isn't from the apocalypse it's from trying to keep up it's the first time in eight years they've had to they see these weird damp circles underneath their arms and they go what the hell is that doctor it's sweat something you didn't see when you were reporting about Obama so what about us things are going pretty good which means it's time for tough love with Greg Gutfeld welcome to tough love with Greg Gutfeld look I'm not crazy about CNN or Jim Acosta he's like a tube of Brylcreem that learned to pout but the but the jeering at the rallies it's really not a good look and I mean it it's like when I drink too much I think that I look great but in reality I shouldn't be in the park wearing nothing but Crocs they never believe me when I say I'm walking a dog so when I see all the yelling at Acosta I do get the anger the jeering is born from a cynicism about a press that under Obama had their spines removed to make it easier to bend over and now it's clean it's clean now that trumps here you see the media working overtime and it's the contrast that bugs you and me but when you're winning and you are you don't need to scream in fact I think that's piling on so my suggestion stop and instead do what my mom always said kill him with kindness it wasn't a machete I can never tell with mom it was either kindness or a machete with her there was no middle ground but let's stick with kindness you got to be appreciative and take the high road it'd be nicer you'll look better and it will drive the media even more nuts and they'll be so confused they'll probably think it's the end of the world again [Applause] let's welcome tonight's guest that's not a truck backing up we're just bleeping her filthy language my co-host on the 5:00 and anchor of the daily briefing or bleeping Dana Perino besides the TV dinner she's my favorite Swanson the original Vampire Slayer the legendary Buffy herself actress Kristy Swanson one of the best intro sever her keyboard only has one letter which is why she's always D pressing master of your reporter cat tip that's too good and his baseball cap gets altitude sickness former WWE Superstar of my massive sidekick Tyrus [Applause] all right Dana I can't believe I have to say this but try to keep it clean we have some children here in the audience what do you what do you make I guess the idea that this conflict between the media and the administration and who should take the high road should we take the high road do I remember what Jed intended I said on the five which kind of struck me we have like when I lecture people we have the luxury of a show so we can talk about we can talk about all the all the stuff that the audience media driving us crazy like we have an outlet for it but the people at the rallies don't so when they see CNN they go you because that's their outlet so am I wrong no I don't think that that's wrong but I think that your advice is actually good the tough love right because I do think not to get technical on the polls yeah you know he's bleeding women the approval ratings are plummeting for him with women yeah and it's not about the economy they know the economy is good it's not about Russia they don't really care about Russia it's his temperament and so I think that that is just not helping isn't it's not necessary I think at the reporters they don't even actually need to be in the room yeah they could be outside yes and you're just gonna see it on that you have one TV camera one camera like Jim Acosta doesn't need to be in there outside he's becoming part of the story yeah it's not necessary but if they're outside the story will be reporters kept outside Trump's fault Christie welcome to the show so much good news in the economy is that what's driving the media kind of nuts is that they can't figure out what to say about them they just want to put him down at any chance that they have I mean they just want to just destroy him like your video that we just saw it's just it's terrible it's bad mm-hmm and they need to stop their aging themselves are they aging is they look like you're getting gray or white yeah yeah look at I mean they just look so angry and awful and you know they need to lighten up yeah changes them yeah I've noticed Anderson Cooper's hair is totally white and Stelter bald I mean these are they're obviously having an effect cat what give me some of your deep analysis on what's going on the current political climate how you feel are you angry are you nervous perturbed I'm angry and nervous and perturbed it's usually about other stuff like about when I get food later what if I order the wrong thing and I don't like it and I wish I got another thing right or what if when I'm walking down the street someone sneezes on me and then I get a cold again or what if I hang out with someone who seems to be healthy but they're actually harboring the cold virus and I wound up getting sick from them because they're still contagious I'm seeing a trend here a lot of things definitely to worry about I don't worry so much I mean the amount of anxiety that some people have about President Trump only one person should have that kind of anxiety about the president and that's the president [Applause] making important decisions but I think actually I get a little more nervous about my food order than he does he seems like he kind of just is pretty chill about being the president no I think you know what i-i've had talked about this before to him it's just another kind of a big project and anyway he talks about it like it's a job he will share the details of this job to you that no president ever would like all the the stuff he has to deal with tyrus but I'm glad you made it you almost didn't make it tonight yeah I made it yeah he was circling he was circling for four hours above this studio yep yeah it was great if I if I could piggyback on Dana Perino for a second shut up I think he's got a great core base she could do it maybe not for a long time these three steps three stuff will get out but her point was spot on the Acosta thing I because of my background in wrestling mm-hm and and president Trump has a long historic history with wrestling and this is Vince McMahon one right and of Kostas he Acosta likes the chanting he likes that stuff because you're exactly right why is he not on the outside reporters used to do that but you can't get those reactions in those ratings he even so they can see him stands up higher than the crowd and stands over them that's true hey I'm here I'm here and then they get going they start doing the wrestling chants you suck or whatever it is and he eats it up and he acts that and strut but he literally if he got down and walked away to do his report it would be over yeah he's doing it for the attention for the same reason that he despises President Trump who seeks attention they do the same thing it's because they are involved in a war yeah I mean the media and specifically most of the seems like cNN has become the front-runner in this one-on-one dogfight with with the president and they're willing to go anywhere to go after him and then but they want to hold themselves in a higher court but there are the same yeah and Trump he's he's the babyface right now so the crowds gonna cheer him they're gonna boo you so just yeah yeah and you know it is it is a mismatch because he's a street fight this is who he is it's that I didn't win this fight yeah yeah it was even how to be a good heel like it cost me what if some like a shut up lady or sure how'd you get here you can't afford it like start heckling the crowd back Acosta like you be a bad guy I'm doing a report on you sir and your extramarital you know [Applause] I gave earlier you can't if you can't beat them join them Yeah right and like laughs yeah just laughs maybe it'll be better yeah I just hope that I hope that like some I just would like it to just it does mob people looking like a mob doesn't appeal to me whether in a v-shape form because I'm really a good person at heart no I'm not I'm a terrible person [Applause]

Channel: Fox News

Views: 1,258,918

Rating: 4.826272 out of 5

Keywords: Fox News Channel, Fox News, News, Greg Gutfeld, Gutfeld, Gutfeld monologue, fox news voices, Greg Gutfeld show, gutfeld be nicer, enemies

Id: Hauk2Hkd0os

Length: 15min 27sec (927 seconds)

Published: Sat Aug 04 2018