GUILTY... | r/DnDGreentext Top Posts of All Time #101

his defense this all started because we forever dm'd him not exactly subtle revenge i mean at least it's still fun and while you're playing it you never notice but then afterwards you're left going did we just spend 6 months blocking an elf hey what's up everybody scatter rattles here welcome to another dnd green text video and uh before jumping into this video i just want to tell you i don't agree with this guy i don't think the names are getting too low effort but yeah with that being said subscribe if you're not and enjoy the video the bird it's easy guys just go get 6 of that monster's eggs for my research and i'll pay you their weight in gold how would you do this as a gm be me become an adventurer given a quest to acquire six eggs of a mysterious bird for some wizards research i tracked down the creature to some barren wasteland where everything was trying to kill us finally find the bird bird is six feet tall bird looks like a dinosaur bird looks pissed that we stepped into its territory bird charges at us and proceeds to [ __ ] us up we lost three of the five party members in the fight it managed to kick a hole in our paladin's chest like his full plate armor was a napkin it plucked out the eyes of our ranger it gored the barbarian without a thought but me and the fighter were able to fail the beast we catch our breath then go to the nest one egg we had to find another one fighter pulled a pro gamer move and shoved his short sword in his chest smart move in my opinion oh man why would you do that as the dm i don't did he just want to kill the party or annoy everyone or i don't see why would you like not at least give them the eggs after going through all of that right if you think castle worries are bad wait until you learn about ostriches they are known to one kick kill lions jesus nature is nature is pretty insane so do zebras single kick can straight up break an adult lions back a new guy who hand raises lion cubs gives grown ones belly rubs and refuses to go anywhere near a horse because can't be trusted i think it's very reasonable to be scared of horses with how massively insanely strong their legs are it seems pretty reasonable if you ask me sacrifice the first part of this meme was actually read in the dnd memes video and that's from the dnd memes subreddit so i'm not going to read that again just letting you know i'm gonna skip straight just comment it's not very long and instead of saying all of this i basically had time to just read it again or something without spending like 20 seconds talking about it but it's basically talking about how traps are stupid in games right okay i had something like this for one of my games the party was fighting their way out of a dwarven tomb infested with troglodytes as they were running out they heard a click turned out the fighter accidentally stepped on a dwarven pressure bomb when i asked what he wanted to do he said he wanted the rest of the party to go on without him he explained that he could act as a distraction for the rest of the party so they could escape safely after some convincing on his part as well as saying his goodbyes the party continued to the exit as he stayed there but as they ran out they could hear the fighter's voice echoing the tunnels singing the song red is the rose when the song ended all the party could hear was a loud explosion and the tunnel collapsing that was a massive sacrifice god damn it this fighter has earned player of the year in my book he now has a permanent place in the canon of my campaign i love taking big dramatic moments from one campaign and making them into full hero moments in other ones even if they're totally different players something like the party entering a small hamlet and finding a statue dedicated to a long dead pc from another campaign who threw himself into a portal to defeat an enemy knowing that he wouldn't be able to return or something equally grandiose it's awesome it's especially great when you can do it with the same players and purposely get some of the details wrong as long as the player is the joking type you get the moment where this random adventurer comes into town and tries telling the local historian well actually gorval's familiar was a fox not a cat and his staff had gems at the tip not just carved wood oh this wondrous how do you know all that young traveller it came to me in a dream i'm going to be honest the trap would have only given him like 2 10 damage and it wouldn't kill him but what do you say after rp like that it would be too hilarious that the fighter would just pop up later while comically burnt from the explosion also straight up murdering a pc must have hurt he wanted his character to go he felt like it was time in that case that's an epic way to go i always help my pcs in noble suicides now try reading that without any context operation big casters in the club pimi level 13 wizard with simulacrum wielding staff of power pin at me level 13 grave cleric and soroc have to fight zariel archduke of averness cr26 can't force cage her she can teleport bad times in our future great plan all drink potions of growth force cage ourselves in the 20 by 20 version simulacrum cast globe of invulnerability can't physically hit us through the cage no spells through the globe portions of growth means we take up the whole space and she can't teleport in we got big casters up in the club dunk on golfangel i didn't sign up for a cage match zariel leaves the immediate area where she waits for you to comfort her again if a high-end cr-26 sees an impossible scenario they will avoid it unless they are proud af of course a classic don't bang the elf once we had an elf who one human once and developed this psychotic obsession with bringing him back to life after he died she sort of faded into the background after a while we forgot about her but two campaigns later her research started popping up and this escalated until it turned out that she was basically getting ready to harvest all life on earth to try and bring her pet goldfish back to life by the end of it we were up to our balls in hideous soul-stealing goblin mutants that ate souls and vomited them back up as per catalysts for some ancient resurrection ritual five campaigns of fighting this insane elf motivated by love and heartbreak to destroy the world and overthrow the will of the gods to bring her husband back because someone just had to hit on the elf chick wait to go riley dear god i want to be in your group you say that now but you'd be eating your toms by the end of it it's so enraging to go through this enormously fierce trials and then realize that they aren't clever at all they were just engineered by a woman with infinite time and no sense of proportion example her research notes were all written in dwarvish which was the language of choice for scientific notation but then apparently she thought oh hey someone might read my notes and figure out my plans now a sensible person might start writing in code she destroyed the entire dwarvish civilization and annihilated their culture then she invented esperanto and taught it to the humans nobody speaks dwarvish except her anymore unbelievable this was a whole campaign holy tell us more i'm not sure what i'm supposed to say the whole affair is just so agonizing from start to finish that it hurts just thinking of it like in campaign free when she introduced a wonder crop that was like a combination between potatoes wheat and rice grew in huge patties and each one was the size of a bowling ball you could take in 5 crops a year easy didn't deplete the soil and oh yeah after the 10th year they basically flooded the atmosphere with sentient anthrax to induce migration inland yay or like in campaign 2 when shithore opened the abyss with a huge ring painted with 700 gallons of her own blood carefully extracted and frozen over the course of decades and used it to suck out the very spirits of entropy and chain them to her will so that she could put out the sun for the 15 minutes she needed to do some stupid ziggy no no not because the sun needed to vanish for the alignment herself she just wanted better lightning to see the stars not like she could have just used the telescope for anything every time we end up dealing with this hideous series of catastrophes and the campaign later we realized just how trivial the actual motivations behind them were you really need to invest in a better dm in his defense this all started because we forever dm'd him not exactly stopped all revenge i mean at least it's still fun and while you're playing it you never notice but then afterwards you're left going did we just spend 6 months blocking an elf and the answer is yes 6 months blocking an elf there was sentient anthrax and banner snatches involved sure but when you get down to it it was blocking an elf this is such a great example of how alien the elven mindset could and should be in dnd if you live for almost a millennium the world just looks different what would be a decade-long undertaking for a human is like a summer project for an elf not gonna lie i would kill to be in this guy's campaign a game like this is all in how you look at it if you go through 6 months of campaign and look back and decide that you've only been keeping an elf from her dead lover then that's all you're going to see if you look back at those six months and see sentient anthrax humanoid sacrifices mutated soul-eating goblins etc then you're going to have a much wilder outlook on the game point being when you have an utterly wild campaign there's nothing wrong with focusing on the wild side rather than the lame reasoning behind it or whatever i'd rather play with that dm and gm for them i'll bet they're just as creative as a player than the guy who posted complaining about the campaign have fun guys gals everyone in between and everyone besides guy told me i should post here me and jacob flying into great warm lair like a pair of badasses he's doing some magic a virgin ass wizard bright idea use weird magic rock to cast lower resistance so our wizard can hit him he looks our direction he inhales oh another bright idea i use weird rock to dimension door get out of breath area relief wait jacob can't do that ah jacob gets hit in the face with 2000 degrees celsius lava this wouldn't have happened if i didn't cast lower resistance guilt god damn it what in the world is lower resistance it's a spell from earlier editions that lowered the magic resistance of a creature at the time many monsters and drow had magic resistance expressed as a percentage based on a 10th level caster for instance if a 10th level caster cast a spell at a dragon with 50 magic resistance then there was a 50 50 chance it would not work if it was an 8 level caster then a 60 40 chance and 12 level caster had a 40 60. and in case the story is confusing to you i'm gonna leave this explanation from the guy that posted it on the screen and pause if you wanna read it and all right moving on all right time for comment review is two a lot depends on the context gold coins no war crimes yes nice take demogod what's that some kind of temporary godhood here is distant explosion followed by increasingly loud scottish swearing it's always a squatters behind isn't it there's a ton of spells that violate the geneva convention literally any spell based on disguising yourself is a violation if it's used to disguise yourself as an enemy or a non-combatant a druid while shaping into an innocuous animal to prepare for an ambush is a violation inducing charm or dominate person or monster is easily abused as a violation i'm pretty sure this all fall under article 37 prohibition of the perfidy in the geneva convention yeah okay so i guess the geneva convention really can't apply to dnd we might yeah maybe maybe it wouldn't be possible to have anything like that in dnd or in a fantasy world like this i guess the party opens fridge the disembodied leech head kill me party grubs gallon of milk closes fridge alright that's it for this video thank you guys for watching i hope you enjoyed it please leave a like if you did and subscribe for more if you haven't already also thank you to run supporting channel on patreon i really appreciate it so thanks a lot to every sporting channel there also links below if you want to follow me on twitch instagram twitter join the discord server or check out the subreddit and share stories there and yeah thanks again for watching and i'll see you next time have a great day bye

Channel: SkyDieRay

Views: 56,251

Keywords: skydieray, dnd stories, dnd greentext stories, dndgreentext, dnd greentext, skydieray dnd, dungeons and dragons, d&d, d&d stories, dnd stories 4chan, d&d stories 4chan, r/, reddit, 15, second, stories, green, text, story, funny, dnd stories reddit

Id: xSNhJ1WDiJ0

Length: 14min 2sec (842 seconds)

Published: Sun Nov 08 2020