Gregory House VS Women | HOUSE M.D. | Screen Bites

good morning dr house good morning dr cuddy love that outfit it says i'm professional but i'm still a woman actually sort of yells the second part yeah and your big cane is real subtle too got to go well good news the lab says it's not strep so we're done wait a second no really not strep boys in the lab sure they're hard drinkers but they're pros you know plus your kid actually has none of the symptoms for strep i just figured it was quicker running the test than arguing with you my point is go i just wanted to ask your opinion doctor she's having a birthday party next week and she's upset that i'm getting a sugarless cake the other kids hate it this is why you're here sugar is the leading cause of obesity in america you want a doctor to scare her about the dangers of sugar she needs to get her weight under control well you know i feel sorry for those other kids wendy who don't have a mom like yours a mom who knows that sugar causes heart disease appendicitis and athlete's foot well that's not fair oh yes it is no i get it you want her to slim down a little so she can wear pretty clothes like yours love the bracelets hey what about matching outfits you could be twins oh she can't be your daughter it's impossible you look way too young happy birthday give the kid a damn ice cream cake i'm 4-1 that's 1.5 canes in metric you don't look a day over four feet i saw in the file that her dad was normal sized it's average sized compared to you i'm sure it was huge so do you have a fetish or you just fall in love with your long-legged soul he grew up in the circus said i reminded him of home seems like you're the one with the fetish i'm certainly curious about the logistics you stand on a table house pretty much he lay flat and spin me mom so abigail you want to hop up on the table for me that's gonna be tough oh i'm sorry um let me give you a boost stop treating her like she's five just bring over her stool and let her climb up herself mom it's okay i'm just trying to be helpful she also hates jews i've dealt with worse being different you get used to people's idiocy still beats the hell out of actually being an idiot what here to go for a spin say nicholas patron zane of children also semen merchants archers prostitutes and prisoners must have been pretty hardworking or just a credit hog open wide say ah ah you have strep is it contagious only for the next 24 hours as long as you take the antibiotics how contagious take a personal day i can't i'll write your pimp a note my pimp you're tested for aids every three months and your necklace prostitutes wear religious symbols i think they just like kneeling you don't have the skin of a semen the fingers of an archer the clothes of a merchant or the attitude in the next con so just leaves one left two actually but i'm not a child am i that's cold all he did was save his job what he completely screwed you over right rudder bank bank bank good coffee the rest of this hospital is busting its tail and your what are you doing trying to think of anything except the produce department at whole foods i am working it got hot stop acting like a 13 year old sorry we just don't usually see breasts like that on deans and medicine oh women can't be heads of hospitals or just ugly ones no they can be babes it's just you don't usually see their fun bags in a three o'clock interview for dr cameron's position is in your office ah not interviewing today i don't know if you've heard that there's this big-time epidemic many sick people puking in the hallways that's crazy i'll send the interview home we can reschedule no you won't you will interview this person and if you can put two sentences together you will send him to the lobby where he will do his job unlike the two of you sorry i'm late i was taking a dump i'm guessing i'm better off interviewing right after than right before dr petra gilmore dr gregory house you actually speak four languages or are you just banking on never being interviewed by anyone who does it's true and i can swear on two more why are you leaving dr hazel did you fall for him can't handle it or was it the other way around yes well pretty much every fellowship ends that way no it's nothing like that you're jewish yes is it true what they say about jewish foreplay uh two hours of begging i heard four well actually i'm only half jewish look i know you like to play games with people i know you like to say outrageous things and study how they react what you should know about me is that i grew up with four brothers keep your hands to yourself i'm okay with anything that comes out of your mouth uh well that's great i think that's all we need thank you for coming by that's our hitler no way are you kidding her background's perfect she's smart she can obviously deal with your insanity you see her shoes her shoes what did your horoscope and vogue tell you to avoid women wearing green shoes the eyes can mislead a smile can lie but the shoes always tell the truth they were prada means she has good taste they were not prada you wouldn't know product once stepped on your scrotum okay well they were nice pointy exactly they were stylish and very painful aware only an incredibly shallow insecure woman would rather be in pain all day long than wear a decent looking comfortable shoe and that's exactly the type i don't need around here no someone who can handle a lot of pain is exactly the type you do need [Music] i look forward to the security guard you're not gonna be happy with anyone so what your advice is hire someone i'm not happy with and be happy no my advice is much more subtle stop being an ass you always find some tiny little flaw to push people away now it's people we were talking about fellowship applicants you have a history of this well when i do decide to push you away oh there's a small person kneeling behind you so you fall down and hurt your head take these there's water over there glue forms a guard and you're done you have the perfect person and you blew it you saw the shoes i'm not talking about her you're talking about cameron i'm talking about every woman you've ever given a damn about cameron is so not perfect well nobody's perfect mother teresa dead angelina jolie no medical degree now who's being picky you're gonna wind up alone house listen to me do you have any idea what you'd have to look forward to if you stay with me nine chances out of ten we both wind up in a jail you're only saying that to make me go i'm saying it because it's true inside of us we both know that you belong with victor is there a victor in your class if you're not with someone your age you'll regret it maybe not today maybe not tomorrow but soon and for the rest of your life what about us we'll always have fresno i'm no good at being noble but it doesn't take much to see the problems of two little people don't amount to a hail of beans in this crazy world someday you'll understand that i don't know here's looking at you damn was there an earthquake when you were in fresno what i asked all my girlfriends that um yeah a little one damn what what what is it it's not love you have spore in your brain coccidioides immedus california's full of them they get an earthquake you get released into the air you breathe it in you get a cold turns into sinus congestion aches weakness milky tears and sometimes loss of inhibition and judgment damn so loving you wanting to have sex with you is all just the spores talking you'd probably live damn [Music] you

Channel: Screen Bites

Views: 5,087,351

Keywords: Allison Cameron, Best Of House, Blair Waldorf, Doctors, Flirting, Gregory House, Gregory House flirting, HOUSE MD, HOUSE MD cast, House Best Moments, House Funniest Moments, House MD little flirt, House Merry Little Christmas, House VS Women, Hugh Laurie, International Women's Day, Is It Lupus, Leighton Meester Gossip Girl, Leighton Meester House MD, Leighton Meester Stalker, Lisa Cuddy, Screen Bites, Wilson

Id: pnSWy1d_j-M

Length: 10min 13sec (613 seconds)

Published: Sun Mar 08 2020