Graham Wardle on Leaving Heartland

now we of course have to talk about heartland graham because it was a huge part of your life 12 13 14 years it's been a long time but now unfortunately you aren't a part of the show and fans are devastated i read so many comments some don't even like want to watch the show now without you which i think is really sad because it's i don't feel like the show is the same without you but it's still really really good it's kind of taken a different direction now but i did also want to share with you like i i did see a lot of messages from fans that just want to tell you that they respect your decision and they just want you to be happy which i thought was really really beautiful that's why i had to share that with you but did you think that leaving heartland was gonna have such a big impact i know that i think for some people it's really impacted a little bit their mental health especially through this pandemic as well that they're binge watching heartland and then all of a sudden you're not there yeah it i did not expect this reaction i knew that there would be it would be tough and it would not be what people wanted i knew you know it wasn't like people well there might have been a few people that were like yeah get rid of them get rid of it but i haven't seen one comment like that yet i haven't seen those yet but i'm sure there's there's somebody out there um yeah it was really tough for me it's been a couple years of conversations and of just asking myself is this the next step and a lot of it was very it was very difficult for me to to make this decision and i spent a lot of time just tuning in and asking myself is this the right step is this the next step and um i normally i can normally feel based on you know tuning into my heart or my gut and just kind of connecting with myself i know what's what needs to come next and i've had a few moments in my life where there have been difficult decisions and i know that's what i need to do but i don't want to do it like i don't want to do it like my mind's like no like just ignore your heart just ignore that just keep doing this and you try and create all these excuses and reasons um why you should doubt yourself and um and then the tricky thing too was you know a lot of people said well you know why why are you leaving and why why this and um and i'm like ultimately it comes down to i have to honor myself and my heart and i can't ignore that and i've done it in the past and it's never worked out well and i don't want to do it again um so then the process was just um you know how to work with the production and the the creatives on the show to to make that transition as as as best we could because i think everybody knew it was going to be a really tough transition for the audience and that it would be difficult to watch so that's why i came back for season 14 and i did some uh we called it ghost work you know doing playing a ghost of of the character and uh because i i personally wanted to do everything i could to to make that transition and to honor the character uh that i had created with along with everybody else so that that that a love and that the inspiration and the passion of that character and and myself my work to that for that character could be felt you know and it wasn't like cold turkey just like you know he's gone like some shows you know you see some shows like that and the character's just like yep and they're gone it's like cool he's shot yeah bye yeah yeah so i didn't want to do that and um i also when i when i create experiences i work very hard to honor the audience and their journey and their investment and it's kind of a catch-22 because you know audiences have expectations and what they what they want and so you know taking that into account while also honoring myself uh is is tricky because you don't want to upset anybody you don't want to make anyone mad but um i think it's important that everybody sort of honor themselves and uh be true to themselves because from that place whatever you create whatever you give you're coming from uh you're coming from a whole place you're you're loving yourself you're in tune with yourself and what you create is going to be of a completely different caliber than if you're ignoring yourself you're denying yourself you're not loving yourself or taking care of yourself and you're just doing it because somebody else wants it and and you want to please them you don't want to upset them so i think it's really important that when people create like yourself when you're creating the show you love it you're you're not creating because you know other people have an expectation of you it's coming from an authentic place where you love what you're doing and you love yourself and that shows up and you're working in your in in this show and i think that's important that people get to that place so i was i was very appreciative and surprised by the support uh and the feedback that came when the episode premiered this year um i was i didn't know what to expect but i was very very humbled and and uh grateful for all the support and all the people that just wanted to wish me well like i i yeah it's hard to like it's hard to like fathom sometimes how much this show has reached you know how far the show has reached i got a message from um one of my friends he's like you know you're trending on google right now and i was like what are you talking about he's like go to the google search bar and like i don't remember what what where it was or something but there was it had hit heartland or graham heartland or tie heartland or something was was trending in the google search and it just i just took a step back and i was like this is this is such a blessing such a beautiful chapter of my life and i am so grateful that i've been in being able to be a part of it um so yeah so to answer the question i was very surprised very humbled and very grateful for the response and the support and um and yeah amber and i did a podcast about you know the character's departure and just trying to explain to people that there's there's no bad blood it's not like i'm i'm like i'm done with you or like amber and i got in a fight we can't act together anymore it's like no like it's just this is this is where we're both at you know where i'm at where the show's at and i i hope that people continue to watch the show and to to have a great experience with it i know it's gonna be different and life changes life happens you know things happen in life so um i hope people can find a new appreciation for the show and find new stories that they enjoy and and become reacquainted with the characters and and this new flavor that it that it offers um well i do love that you put yourself first you know you have to think about your future obviously you're not going to be in heartland forever i'm sure the show is not going to go forever yeah so you did have to think about that and now with this podcast you love doing it that's obviously something you're going to focus on are you going to continue acting as well or are you going to go more down that creative path of producing and creating your own art um acting i'll probably put on hold for a bit right now um i've i've wanted to produce my own content for a long time and acting i i know in the future i'll most likely do some more acting but in the immediate future i'm going to take a break and um and just focus on creating my own content my own stories my podcasts you know finishing my second book and uh and just yeah working on my own projects because very often when i start working on my own projects then my agent will call and say oh you got an audition for you know you got these 10 pages to memorize for tomorrow and it's like everything's on hold now it's like you got to do this and that's kind of the world of an actor is you're you're constantly auditioning you're constantly putting yourself out there and whatever you're you know working on when the when the phone rings and your agent says there's an audition it's like you drop everything and it's like away you go so um [Music] i'm i'm now sort of at this point in my life where i'm like if i don't commit to and and invest in myself and put out this kind of stuff that i want to put out i may never do it because i might just get caught up in another role and then that becomes you know the next chapter of my life um so i've made that decision to kind of invest in myself to to tell the stories and and produce the content that i want to produce and share myself with the world in a new way so that's the new path that i'm on i love it and uh creating your own art as well i think a lot of you know the audience kind of forget that it's kind of how what you have to do in entertainment because even if you were wanting to go for auditions and get some more gigs you are out of work for a while until you do get that gig so to have your own side projects on you know side projects on the side you know what i'm talking about projects on the side but then you've always got something to work on and you're always still going to be in the field of entertainment so i think even though there's probably heaps of fans crying right now going no i can't watch him on the screen anymore you can still listen to his podcast you can still listen to his voice watch our interviews [Laughter] and hopefully in the future there will be something who knows you might pop up on a hallmark movie or something with cindy busby yeah yeah yeah yeah who knows yeah and that's and i'm open to uh to doing you know i love doing interviews and such like that and maybe it's a small part or something um that would come up and i still do my cameo video messages for people um i'm not it's not like i'm not gonna be on screen like you're not gonna be able to see me it's just i'm taking a break from playing you know time tie and also big you know big character commitments you know uh because i want to focus on some of my own projects um well good luck with it all i'm really excited to check it all out do we do we have a release date for the second book yet you're asking all the good questions lauren um there was a few fans that asked that one but yeah i'll take credit for the other ones it's uh it's i'm working on it and it's it's evolved because of what everything that happened in 2020 i've learned a lot about myself and i've really just asked myself what is this all about like what what's the silver lining in this for me and i i've written probably over a hundred different pieces of writing for the book and i don't always put them all in but i write a lot and then i kind of trim them back to the ones i like but then after 2020 i just took a step back and i was like i've learned so much that i want to share that in this book as well i i think it's very important because our world is going through a massive transformation and lots of things are changing and i i really want to express myself and share my heart with with people in my writing and in my work and specifically in this book so there is no release date when it's done it's done i don't want to say it set a date and then it get pushed i already did that i said it was going to be done by the end of 2020 and you know 2020 came and went and and um so now i'm like you know what when it's done it's done and it'll be out there and people will be like oh it's out now because i don't want to create any expectations so sorry guys i don't have an answer for that but um that is okay yeah just do me a deal when it does come out come back on the show and talk about it with me okay okay then everyone will know it's out that's a good idea yeah i'll do a press what's it called when you do that press tour or something yeah restaurant that's it yeah press tour press junket all that jacket now i know this is a bit of a deep question but did you know you were gonna be leaving heartland was it in the process when you were last on our show about a year ago so probably was but you just didn't know yeah yeah yeah yeah um yeah yeah this was this was this was a couple years um in the in the process so you know i you don't say that kind of stuff you can't say that kind of stuff no no no no hard feelings it's okay yeah what was the reaction from the cast like and was it hard saying goodbye to them i know that you still keep in contact with a lot of them i don't know about all of them but i'm sure they were sad to know that you weren't going to be on set all the time yeah and i mean this was you know i think like i said this was a couple years so it wasn't like uh you know all of a sudden like what what's going on like this was this was a long period of of conversations and of talks and and whatnot so um yeah and it's you know i they're like a family you know working 14 years with the same people every day uh you know learning how to support each other learning everyone's quirks um you know sean has a wonderful quirk that i love him for that when he's it's something about dinner table scenes when he's at the dinner table and grandpa jack has got a line to say and it's a very important line shawn will uh sometimes he get in he gets in these little little moods where he'll say the line and say no no no go again and then someone will say they're lying so lead him in and he'll say it again and uh he'll do his line again and he's yeah it's just well i don't know if it's perfection is as much as like he he honors the story and the authenticity of that moment so much he doesn't want to uh mail it in or pass it off or just kind of like whatever like he's he's very committed so um that's one of his quirks and and there's so many i'm sure there's in the blooper reel he'll do that um and i love him for that and those little things like that that i'm definitely going to miss working with um with sean and with amber and with carrie james and all the different people on set um that i get to work with on a consistent basis you know had a lot of fun so i'm gonna miss them all and hopefully that there's you know projects in the future we get to work together on have sean on the podcast you know stuff like that be fun to reconnect i'm sure there was probably a lot of crying on that last day well you know it was interesting my last day uh because i was doing it i'm guessing yeah i was by myself i was by myself so it was very odd it was it was it was extremely odd but i i you know i got to connect with a few people there and and say thank you and i had written thank you notes and and uh reached out to people before that last day but yeah the last day was a is very odd normally there's like uh you know that's a wrap on on so and so for for the show or for the episode or whatever um it was very odd it was very odd because it was all because i was the ghost you know it was in the ghost i did a lot of green screen stuff too that was the first time doing the yeah so the heartland green screen stuff but i really take it off my head off to amber for being able to act like you're there like that must be so hard and i know you talked about that in your interview with her i was just like yeah that's true she would have just had to pretend you're there and somewhat be emotional yeah sometimes that happens uh you know the actor has to go the other actor has to go change or or they're sick or something happens or you know some actors uh you know they're not on camera so they just kind of mail in their performance and you're kind of like give me something here like and so you have to kind of be like okay uh i'm i'm envisioning i'm feeling something completely different and you have to kind of move into that because uh sometimes they're not there and sometimes you're not getting anything from the from your your co-worker which happens rarely but sometimes it does happen so you have to do your best to imagine it and bless my gators on instagram wants to know would you consider teaming up with emma marshall again and starting a new project together after heartland um yeah amber's great uh we've had a a couple conversations um you know from in the podcast and then afterwards as well we've kept in touch so i'm open to that idea for sure um you know amber's such a professional and she now produces heartland as well so she has that experience uh of working with the team in the production and and whatnot so she's a very very talented woman and i think that would be fun if if that opportunity arose i would definitely be open to that and i i did see on my instagram a lot of fans actually asking this question too would you ever return to heartland to even direct an episode like michelle and chris have done yeah possibly um i hadn't thought about that to be honest that'd be cool fans could be watching an episode and your name just pops up down the bottom going directed like great model yeah yeah yeah that would be cool i mean i definitely have a lot more um uh what's i gotta strengthen my directing muscles you know because i know michelle has has done a lot more of that work than i have and uh so she worked very hard to get into that position to to direct um so that that would be some some preliminary work that i would have to do just to kind of uh make sure that uh that my involvement would bring out the best of the show and it wouldn't i wouldn't be you know the show would wouldn't have to like pick me up you know i want to be able to contribute to the show as opposed to the show kind of like hustling me along to get it done because i'm you know inexperienced um but yeah no that's i'm always open to opportunities um and i think you know if it comes up and it feels right and there's something i can contribute and everybody's happy then i'll yeah i think it'll be fun good question thank you yeah that was all uh several fans asking that so thank you fans and have you been watching the new season as well because i have and it feels weird not to have you in it so i'm sure you personally are playing that character for 13 years must feel weird not to be on the show now it is weird um it is weird and um but it it's weird i would say it's more odd i'd say it's odd but that's where i'm i'm excited about the the exploration of a new journey of the characters growing uh that's that's something that i've always enjoyed about heartland and any project for that matter is the growth of a character is the expansion one of my favorite expansions and i've mentioned this before is in season two when the heartland universe world went to downtown calgary and ty was being chased by the bikers and it was a completely different aesthetic to the heartland horses and farm life and then you know eight years later when ty goes to mongolia another whole different aesthetic and different life and expansion of the world and and i think that is exciting if done right and if done within the the flavor of the show it can really add to the experience into the journey so that is my that is my hope and that is my uh wish for people to go on a new journey with the show and and to find a new expansion of the reality for for the characters and for that world plus something i love about heartland and i'm sure a lot of fans can probably agree with me is just how realistic the show is you know when i spoke to michelle that whole um part of whatever season it was when lou and peter get divorced you know that's realistic in life these days that unfortunately yeah kids are going through parents getting divorced um death is a part of life so unfortunately even though we didn't want to lose tai death is a part of life and now you know the whole family have got to go through it and as you said it comes back to the growth yeah and and i i hope you know with all the stories that i'm i i'm a part of and want to be a part of i hope that that is his opportunities for people to find healing to find um the space to allow themselves to feel something that maybe they have shut out you know um i i think that's important if stories were always just you know on the surface or not dealing with divorce or death or some more serious things that happen in life you know my opinion would be that people kind of feel like if that happens to them then it shouldn't happen because they don't see it on tv and um and i know that there are other shows to deal with these kind of things but heartland is a very wholesome very uh rooted show uh you know there's no violence and very very little violence it's a very family-friendly show so dealing with those issues those difficult issues i think is important and i'm i was i am really proud to have been a part of it uh and all those stories that we're told so you should be yeah it's good um and the whole underlining you know message of heartland is that you know your family's always there for you so even if you are going through something really really sad like a death the rest of your family's there for you you know sometimes your friends become your family which also be shown in heartland as well yeah yeah so i i hope the whole new season is really as you said kind of getting the message across to a lot of people and making them feel a bit better even though they are unfortunately losing one of their favorite characters yeah yeah it's a bit of a catch-22 unfortunately um i've got two more fan questions here too before we move on to a game that you wanted to play yeah yeah yeah um jenny derpla i hope i pronounced that right 016 on instagram wants to know after all these years of being on heartland what is your favorite storyline and not just amy and ty but any of the characters oh of any of the characters yeah i know i was like that's a really good question so the storyline that hit me the hardest in the heart was when tim was covering up his cancer and he went to mongolia and he didn't hadn't told anyone that he was that he was sick and there's a scene where he sees he wakes up early in the morning when they're out looking for tie and he sees this bird i want to say it was like a falcon or um yeah i think it was a falcon and the sun is shining and he looks at the bird and the bird looks at him and then it flies away and he just kind of looks and he's just kind of in this moment and when i first saw the rough cut the editor had called me into the or i was speaking with the editor in the office ken feliwich and um in his office i should say and he showed me that scene and he had put in some temp music and uh temporary music so they kind of sometimes before the composer has time to put in the music they will put in a track that is kind of like the feeling that you're that they're looking for so anyways he played the scene with his temp music and i was sitting behind ken and when i watched that scene i i just i wept and i was so moved and he turned around and he was like whoa i was like dude that is so good i was like can you play that again and it was the combination of the music and the scene and the storyline and and the way chris played it and just it was bruce mcdonald directed it and it it just hit so hard for me and so that to me is a storyline that it kind of encapsulates what i really want to communicate to people is that like life is so beautiful and when you really look deaf in the face everything that matters reveals itself to you you know exactly what matters and you know exactly what doesn't it's all it's all crystal clear and so that was my interpretation of that storyline of of tim sort of recognizing what was important and and reconnecting to himself and to nature too in that sort of beautiful mystical moment with that that bird um so yeah that would be my um my favorite storyline my favorite moment uh because it was so impactful it was so beautiful in my world and just after that like watching him watch ty and amy reunite was also just so beautiful like that yeah i agree that whole storyline is just oh it's giving me goosebumps thank you for sharing that and mike and elizabeth cazares sorry again if i pronounce that wrong want to know what it's like doing kissing scenes for example and just relationship scenes in general without having real feelings for the other person zamba is married right still yes um yeah so it's a lot of respect and it's a lot of um just talking things out so you you you have to be very professional you have to be very respectful you have to make sure you know what they're comfortable with um amber i've been working together for 14 years so we have that history of knowing you know how to work with each other in that in that space and how to be respectful um and it's always it's always under the guise of you know it's very similar to you know people say oh how do you do those kissing scenes well it's very similar to when you do those scenes where you're really angry at somebody or you're really upset with somebody and you're staring at them like you want to kill them it's like you're not really i like you you don't want to yeah you don't want to kill them um so so it's very similar where you're acting and you're putting yourself in the position that uh this character uh feels this way or or is upset or is in love or or whatever the case may be and it's always done you know anger or love you know you're doing a fight scene you work it out you know i'm gonna throw this punch or i'm gonna yell at you this you know so you know so that you can do it safe and you can do it respectfully and that's a that's a relationship that's a working relationship that you develop and you you work on so that both people can feel safe they can feel respected and they can do their jobs um and you have to draw a very clear line you have to be very careful that uh you don't judge someone because you've been you know hating them as the bad guy for however many years and distancing yourself from that person just because you've generated all these emotions and forced them at that person or projected them and vice versa you know you're generating all these these love emotions all these caring emotions for somebody that you don't cross that line and and blur that line um and take it outside the the professional working environment so it's a it's it's a mental process it is a conversation and it is something that uh i have learned the importance of because well joe dispenza talks about this if joe dispenza ever sees this i just want to say i'm sorry joe dispenza if i misquote you're so honored if jared spenzer watches this video well i just want to say that yeah i'm speaking a little bit out of school here um because it's his work but what i learned from his work i'll say it this way what i learned from his work is we have thoughts and we have feelings and on a consistent basis the way we think in the way we feel generates our personality and our personality will then create our personal reality and i took a course from him a couple years ago and he was explaining this i'm like oh this is fascinating cool okay and then he said to me or he said to the audience um you know a lot of people change they try to change their lives their personal reality but they don't change how they think and how they feel on a consistent basis so if you think and feel on a consistent basis a certain way but you're trying to change your life it's a non-starter it's not going to work because that's what informs your personality which is how you show up your attitudes and all these different behaviors and all these different things and i was like oh this is fascinating cool and then i thought what if i played a character for 14 years and i generated thoughts and feelings for a character that wasn't real and i created in my body and in my mind this personality which created a person a personal reality that was stronger than me and this this became a challenge for me that once i discovered once i made this connection a lot of my challenges in the past with uh feeling disoriented um in this this whole chapter of my life which i did have many moments of disorientation of like oh what's going on here like uh i'm losing myself and uh when i finally got that insight from joe dispenza i recognized how as an actor if you don't take care of yourself and do that work when you're coming home from set uh when you're off in your own life to love yourself to take care of yourself to go with go into uh pain or trauma that you haven't healed and deal with that kind of stuff then acting if you don't do that then acting or the character becomes an escape and i now see that as being unprofessional and um not wise so it's it's what i have learned is and this is not true for all actors i'm just saying from from my perspective and from my experience having had trauma in my past and pain in my past playing a character for 14 years on an unconscious level became an outlet for me an escape for me to not have to deal with that because honestly i didn't really have the tools and and the understanding of how to so that's where i feel a lot of lines can be blurred and things can get messy and you can get disoriented um because the world of acting is thoughts and feelings and behavior and you're doing it on a consistent basis you're creating a personality to create the show the person the shared reality of the show and so um once i got all these pieces in front of me and i started looking at this i was like oh my god right if i don't take care of myself if i don't take care of my own heart my own feelings my own pain and things that are going on on in my own life i starve it and it and it becomes uh brittle and and and unhealthy and so that was something that nobody nobody in any acting class they don't tell you that when you start a show and hey just so you know uh be careful because if you haven't you know dedicated time to investing yourself to taking care of yourself and you're trying to escape your life and live through a character uh this is very dangerous and you're really gonna lose yourself you're really gonna lose yourself and nope there's no conversation around that i don't know how often that happens but it happened to me and um and i i think that that's you know something that i i really try to work on to be like where am i where's where's graham like what's happening to him and um anyways i kind of went on a tangent here but you asked me about kissing scenes and i kind of expanded into anger and my point being is that what i've learned is that it's about respect it's about understanding the boundaries of the confines of the job that you're there to do and staying within those bounds and doing your job as best you can it's not easy but it's it's that's that's the the tools of an actor of creating realities and generating those thoughts and feelings for the character to um give birth to the reality of the show i love when you go off in the tangent by the way i learned so much more feel free to do that anytime you

Channel: Rave It Up TV

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Length: 32min 20sec (1940 seconds)

Published: Fri Mar 05 2021