Gospelized Marriage, Part 1

here's a look at what's going on at abundant light this week ladies make plans to attend the women's 11th annual Christmas tee entitled I am the bread of life it promises to be a memorable event with great food praise and worship by Carolyn Baca - along with a special message by a very own choral er it's this event takes place on Saturday December 8th from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. in the fellowship hall tickets are available today after service or online for many people the holidays can be a tough season especially for children separated from their families so let's all come together for ALCS 19th annual Christmas gift Drive to help children of incarcerated parents local youth and families of the military serving abroad it kicks off with training on Sunday November 18th from 12:00 to 1:00 p.m. in allies to the house and the gift Drive goes through December 20th if you're 18 to 30 ish and looking to go deeper in your walk with God within a community of young adult believers or if you're not a believer but would like to learn about God's plan for your life make plans to join our young adults group for Friday fellowship on November 9th and 30th from 7 to 9 p.m. at Pastor Gary and Beth's house for more information contact yaa at ALCS dotnet there's no need to wait until Sunday to worship with the AL CF family when you can join us for worship night a midweek gathering filled with praise prayer and an inspiring message from Pastor Brian this event takes place on Wednesday November 14th from 7 to 8 p.m. in the sanctuary our young adult Sunday Meeta is a great opportunity for people 18 to 30 ish to connect and have fun with other young adults over lunch meet us at the center pillar in the lobby after service on Sundays and we'll head out together to enjoy tasty local eatery from 11:30 to 1 p.m. if you are new to abundant life and want to learn more about our story vision and values be sure to join pastor Bryant at our guests luncheon this is a LCF the event takes place on Sunday November 18th from 12:00 to 1:00 p.m. in Chappell to sign up for any of these upcoming events go to a LCF dotnet slash sign ups or check out the al CFM and remember abundant life exists to make a better you for better world and so father God we bless you in this place today and we acknowledge you to be our cornerstone and we build our lives Lord God not on the empty promises of this world but on the for-sure promises of your word and the finish work of Jesus Christ and we rest on you so those just aren't lyrics we sing it is a life that we live we want to be built on the shore foundation of Jesus Christ all other ground is sinking sand and we rest in that Lord God today in Jesus name speak to us through your word use me your servant amen and amen stay standing please let's let's say God's Word together found in Ephesians chapter 5 if you could just put that put that up on the screen together Ephesians chapter 5 beginning in verse 25 husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her that he might sanctify her having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word so that he might present the church to himself in splendor without spot or wrinkle or any such thing that she might be holy and without blemish in the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies he who loves his wife loves himself for no one ever hated his own flesh but nourishes and cherishes it just as Christ does the church because we are members of his body therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife and the two shall become one flesh this mystery is profound and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church however let each one of you love his wife as himself and let the wife see that she respects her husband the word of the Lord thanks be to God you may be saved excuse me seated seated seated bless me although somebody needs to be saved but don't look to me for that look to Jesus alright here we go on January 13th 1996 a young nine year old girl named Amber Rene Hagerman was abducted right near her home in Arlington Texas four days later her lifeless body was found she had been murdered as you can imagine this set her parents in a tailspin of grief but that grief suddenly turned into a steeled resolve to make sure other parents chances of experiencing what they had experienced was severely diminished so they strategized Amber's parents lobbied and eventually their hard work paid off because it was because of them and the grief over their departed daughter amber that we now have what's called the AMBER alert system this is a system that sends out an emergency signal whenever some child is abducted or a person is decreed lost or missing and it increases the chances of that child being found amber alert systems our signals sent out to find the lost this morning we begin a three week series on marriage over the course of these three weeks I want to send out an Amber Alert System an emergency signal because you know as well as I do that marriage at least marriage the way God designed and intended it to be in 2018 in these here United States is woefully lost most marriages aren't living up to God's design I can see God peering over the balcony of heaven looking at many homes and inwardly grieving going this is not what I had in mind when you two said I do tragically many couples on their wedding day in a state of euphoria have the word spray-painted on the back of some car just married but three years later five years later those same two words apply just in a different way just married our marriages are in trouble conservatively speaking somewhere between 40 to 50% of all marriages will end up in divorce think about it with me imagine I lined up a hundred couples on their wedding day and told 40 or 50 of them to leave the building that's exactly the divorce rate here parenthetically let me say that I know I'm talking to a diverse crowd here and I'm not just talking ethnically but but some of you all have gone through divorce and you're either just getting things back together and kind of emotionally catching your wind or you're on your second marriage third marriage wherever it may be I want you to know God's grace is sufficient that we don't serve a God of a second chance I would have used mine up a long time ago we serve a God of another chance and another chance and another chance there is no statute of limitations on God's grace but in 2011 for the first time in our nation's history little did we realize it but the marriage rate actually declined today's generation are giving up on marriage many of them are children of divorce they've seen the pain and they said thanks but no thanks now let me ask you a question not rhetorical I want you to answer this out loud okay you ready answer that loud if 40 to 50 percent of all airline flights crashed would you fly I can't hear you so no wonder when 40 to 50% of all marriages crash we're looking at a generation saying thanks but no thanks I'm out there needs to be an Amber Alert for marriage I wanna read you something from Tim Keller's wonderful book I've asked a Resource Center they should have it today Tim Keller's book the meaning of marriage there's also another great book on marriage they are called love and respect I've also had them stock my parents book your marriage today and tomorrow I wasn't going to read the book that my parents wrote on marriage because I'd seen the movie in the movies quite good but I've read the book in the book is even better as is the case Tim Keller writes these words we look at them with me over the last 40 years the leading marriage indicators empirical descriptions of marriage health and satisfaction the United States have been in steady decline all of this shows an increasing wariness and pessimism about marriage in our culture and this is especially true of younger adults they believe their chances of having a good marriage are not great and even if a marriage is stable there is in their view the horrifying prospect that it will become sexually boring that is why many aim for something in the middle between marriage and mere sexual encounters and that would be cohabitation with a sexual partner don't you see people are giving up wholesale on marriage I mean if you all heard the story of how my wife and I met we met at church in Southern California she had just gotten saved because she had just gotten saved I felt unusually compelled by the Lord to be a part of her spiritual formation plan and I discipled her and my wife my wife grew up nominally nominally nominally Catholic and so this whole Christian thing was was very new to her and I'll never forget one of her first kind of observations of of Christians were she says that's interesting Christians are in such a rush to get married she says I don't understand that part of it makes sense when you know my wife's story is a child of divorce no she had not given up wholesale on marriage but I some of that she was speaking out of her pain as almost as if she's saying why are you in such a rush to get into something that'll just ruin and hurt you this morning we're going to set out again on a three week series on marriage in fact we're going to spend the next two weeks in one verse in Ephesians chapter 5 and not even that in one phrase in one verse in Ephesians chapter 5 it's that pregnant with meaning and so I want to understand if you grew up in the church you've probably heard a lot of different sermons on marriage and I don't say this just be saying is the the journey we're going to take this time around on marriage is it's gonna be a lot different and I'm gonna present it to you in a lot different way than what is traditionally taught but that is faithful and true to the text and to the gospel of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and I I just need you to hang in there with me I want to begin by just giving you a vision for marriage in fact when I think about my time the next 30 years here with you as a pastor and then after that I'll retire and become pastor emeritus and we're the new pastor out but anyways pray for me but I just want you to understand I think there are just a couple of messages every year that I just need to put on repeat and just just kind of plea view I think every year I need to come to you and just give you a word on singleness that you can't really understand the Bay Area unless you give people a vision for singles again San Jose I'm so not making this up sociologists give it the nickname man Jose some ladies like moon didn't know that I need to move there but singles are flocking here and if you don't have a word for singles I just think part of stewarding the gospel well here you got to talk about that I think I got to talk about biblical manhood biblical womanhood but I think every year I just need to come to you in a very proactive way just speak to you on marriage and as we set out together I want to begin this morning by just painting in broad strokes a compelling vision as to why marriage is a good thing and I want to talk first of all two singles and just say singles don't check out on me in fact if ever there's a time you need to be learning about marriage it's now now I want you to have that vision now get as much as you can before if God calls you to to say I do but there are two extreme singles I want you to be cautionary of one extreme is I don't want you to overvalue marriage to the point where you slip over the precipice into marriage idolatry where you where you kind of hang your hopes on getting married and for some reason if that doesn't happen to you you know you're just emotionally wrecks that your sense of identity and meaning cannot be found in marriage you need to learn to be satisfied right where you are in your season of life no the grass is never greener on the other side the grass is greener where you water it in water the grass in your season well the Bible is filled with singles who let deeply meaningful lives and absolutely crushed it for the kingdom of God I'm thinking now of singles like like Daniel who is matriculating up the corporate ladder there in Babylon and later on in Persia he's not married he loves God he makes a ton of money he's influencing the leaders of the world he is deeply in tune with his relationship with of course the ultimate here is Jesus Christ I mean there's no clear example of a single person who lived a deeply fulfilling satisfying life and crushed it for the kingdom in Jesus when scholars tell us that the person who wrote most of the New Testament the Apostle Paul was single so we wanted to bunk the myth that for some reason something is wrong with me if I don't get married you need to understand that there while there are a lot of single people who wish they were married there are a lot of married people wish they were single so use this season and leverage it for the glory of God so on one extreme I don't want you to overvalue it where I place my identity but the other extreme I don't want you to undervalue it either so I'm what I'm what I'm what I'm asking for is that you just kind of live within the tension don't undervalue marriage the Bible is filled with weddings and marriages in fact the Bible begins with a wedding Adam and Eve and it ends with a wedding where we the bride of Christ will be presented to God because of the finished work of Jesus Christ the Bible teaches and he who finds a wife findeth a good Fang I don't found me a good thing y'all and obtains favor from the Lord the Bible speaks and extol the virtues of marriage Song of Solomon dives deeply into the topic of marriage and spends specifically a component of marriage which is which is sex the Bible has a lot to say about marriage so singles as we launch out I'm glad you're here need you to keep coming I want to cast a vision for it marriage maybe but live within the tension don't over value it to the point where I put my identity in it and don't undervalue it to the point where I just I just dismiss it but I want to give you a vision of marriage as the blind Helen Keller the great 20th century Jesus lover who was once asked the question Helen what's the only thing worse than being blind and she says having sight but no vision your marriage my marriage needs a vision without vision people perish the reason for the reason for us to continually have a vision before us of what marriage should be about is because as Chuck Swindoll once said the problem with life is that life is Osso daily this should sound familiar I mean my wife and I are just kind of in a season together or get me just yesterday it's just kind of case in point by the way every time I preach on marriage there's always an argument don't worry my wife has apologized and I've forgiven her but there's always I'm just kidding just kidding honey just kidding but my wife and I just kind of in the season of life where you know yesterday our youngest has a tournament in Oakland so I go to catch the first game but then I gotta hustle back to San Jose with my middle son who's going to his first formal I got to drop him off there and then I got to go to an event and down in San Francisco and I mean it's just we're just kind of going back and forth there's activities one activities many couples you wake up in the morning and you kind of grunt good morning to each other and you hurry and get the kids together and get them breakfast you get a little breakfast maybe squeeze in a workout get them off to school you get both of you all go off to work you fight traffic on the 280 101 whatever it may be you get there you work hard work hard work hard work hard come home exhausted help out with the kids go to their activities get get some food together fall into bed never really haven't kind of connect with one another you scream enough of these days together they become weeks and you put enough weeks together they become months and and then six months later just kind of look at each other and go if we feel more like roommates who are sharing bills than spouses who are sharing lives and so what what happens to you especially if you've got kids in the mix is at some point the kids can be such the focal point here we just focusing on them focus on them focus on them and then that that last little tax write-off leaves and what happens you're staring at a stranger because what was supposed to be the priority relationship you and your spouse became secondary to the kids I've told y'all before you know my wife and I do great trips together and pray for me I had a preach on a cruise a two-week cruise in the Mediterranean Sea Saoirse they called me says pastor you can come do this two-week cruise for us and we'll pay for you in your wife to come out and just preach twice and we'll cover everything for two weeks they'll be prey but yes [Music] and I was a quick word and I just remember my kids hearing about this girl that's not fair mom goes to all the cool places and I said I know it's not fair you know why she goes to all the cool places cuz I love her more than you she was here before you got here in fact the reason why you here is cuz she's here and long after you gone she's still gonna be here she's the queen of this house I'm serious there's humor in that but your kids need to feel that they need to feel they are a distant second not just second a distant second I'm serious some of you all are guilty of kid idolatry you didn't make a covenant with your kids are you feeling me on this you did not make a covenant with your kids I made a covenant to their mama till death do us part me and you till 18 do us part and we partner your marriage needs a vision if you read the Bible God has created three institutions for human flourishing in order the first institution he creates is marriage Genesis chapter 2 second institution he creates is government third institution he creates is the church these three institutions are gifted by God for human flourishing in other words one of the primary weapons that God wants to use to Evangelos the culture for his glory is your marriage I want you to feel the weight of that there is a call on your marriage and your marriage is to tell the truth about who God is in a lost and dying world your marriage is not just about paying bills your marriage is not just about sex your marriage is not just about helping me find satisfaction and fulfillment your marriage is about mirroring the gospel of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ in witnessing prophetic alee to a world that only knows brokenness pain and suffering and I believe every time a Christian files for divorce God is grieved in his spirit my parents in their book your marriage today and tomorrow they say this about marriage they define it as marriages the sacred conduit hear it by which God's plan and purposes are passed on from one generation to the next just bears repeating marriage is the sacred conduit which God's plan and purposes are passed on from one generation to the next your marriage is the umbilical cord by in which God is passing on who he is his purpose is his plans through the home and infiltrating the Bay I like that even more telling is what God says to the nation of Israel here he is gathering them together and they've been on this long journey from from Egypt now they're going to the promised land and they're about to step into the Promised Land and here it is it's it's not the Bible Belt it's a completely secular society and ain't nobody putting up for sale signs because Israel has moved into town God's saying listen I want to prepare you and this is how I'm going to reach a secular society and these words I think ring true today God says here's how I'm going to reach the secular lost society Deuteronomy 6 beginning in verse 4 he says hear o Israel the Lord our God the Lord is one you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart with all your soul with all your mind and these words that I command you today shall be on your heart you shall teach them diligently to your children and shalt talk of them when you sit in your house when you walk by the way when you lie down when you rise train your kids he's singing the things of God and God forgive us for taking more time to teach our kids a jump shot than the Word of God you shall bind them as a sign on your hand there should be as frontlets between your eyes you shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates do you see it God says my primary vehicle for reaching secular society ain't necessary the church house it's your house it's the sense that God saturated home and I want you understand that because unless you feel the weight of that now all of a sudden it won't make sense why all hell is breaking loose in your home Satan is not going sit back and allow you and your wife to enjoy unbridled affection and oneness God's Way with one another he's gonna throw everything at your marriage including the kitchen sink because sadly Satan takes your marriage more seriously than you do so we're laughing and playing games and getting our behinds kicked by Satan he has an assignment on your home he has an assignment on your kids he has an assignment take him seriously you forgive the urgency here he's coming at you no he ain't coming at you in a red jumpsuit with orange sticking out his head he's coming at you in short skirts exceedingly emotionally attentive coworkers while your husband's been starving you in that area he's coming at you in work affairs and hobby affairs he's coming at you he's coming at you he's coming at you because Satan believes Deuteronomy six more than we do playtime's over we need to lead our homes men not like some Neanderthal but like Christ and so when Cory and I looked at each other July 3rd 1999 and we said I do God says my assignment on this marriage is that it would tell the world the truth about my unfailing love for them between this union of two sinners with flaws and faults who will hurt one another in offend one another but we'll lean on my grace and will forgive one another and won't quit on each other but we'll keep coming back to the table and keep coming back to the table the way I keep coming back to you one of my heroes is a godly man by the name of Robertson McQuillan if you don't know who he is you need to know him men he wrote a short book you can breeze through it in less than an hour it's called a promise kept a promise kept a promise kept Robertson McQuillan one of my heroes he he was a president Columbia International University but then his wife Muriel of some 40 years got diagnosed with Alzheimer's he all of a sudden quits his post as president goes home takes care of me really since going on to be with the Lord but one story here she's just gotten diagnosed with Alzheimer's and and the way it would affect her initially she just take off running would forget where she was and he talks about the time in which he's in Atlanta's Airport and they're waiting on a connecting flight to get back home and she just takes off running and he's all embarrassed in disheveled and he's calling her come back neo come back she's not coming back she's running down the terminal and all of a sudden he just takes off after her and and finally he catches up to her he's out of breath and he's stroking her back it's okay sweethearts okay it's okay leading her back leading her back and that the corner of his eye he just hears a twenty-something on her laptop and she just kind of mumbles something and Robertson stops and he says to the woman would you say and this young woman 20 something she just stopped and says no I'm sir I was just watching you and I just was saying I I hope I can find someone to love me like that our world needs marriage posters not of perfect people people keep coming back to the table keep coming back I've only got two points this morning I want to park on one phrase this one phrase has four points I'm gonna give you two points this morning two points next week what did God intend when he created marriage Ephesians 5 verse 25 here it is he says husbands love your wives here's the phrase as Christ loved the church this phrase is so pregnant with meaning that unless we understand it will never understand marriage I want you to see what what Paul is doing here he's linking the sacred institution of marriage with the gospel of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is exactly what he's doing when he's saying husbands love your wives husbands love your wives as Christ uses a simile as Christ as Christ as Christ loves the church you learned this in your English class all assembly is it's a comparison between two things using like or as in other words what Paul is doing is he's taking the institution of marriage and he's tying and tethering it to the cross of Jesus Christ it is as if he is saying you will never experience your marriage at maximum capacity unless the motor driving your marriage is the cross you'll never get there if marriage for you is all about personal happiness and personal fulfillment and I'm gonna start out here with a moment I'm not happy I'm I'm you won't last long but if your marriage is rooted in who Jesus is that's why it's important not to be unequally yoked you marry as is I know you fine and all that you ain't changing them so Paul says you must integrate your I do to one another into the it is finished what he has done for you on the cross or it won't work well what does this teach us our marriages must rest on the framework of the gospel and that gospel framework has four things want to give two of them today first you can't understand the gospel without this simple fact and that is our need born out of our sinful nature we are in relationship with God because God pursued we sinners Romans 3:23 says for all have sinned and come short of the glory of God two chapters later Romans chapter 5 doctrine of original sin Paul says sin into the world through one man infected everybody because of what Adam and Eve did on the cross all of us were born sinners into this world you're here today you don't know Christ as Lord and Savior here's an example of that when your baby was born or any baby was born they didn't need to take a lying 101 class they had a PhD in it they didn't need to take a selfishness course they graduated summa laude and that bad boy we came into this world woefully broken woefully sinful on our own agenda and the result of that Romans 6:23 for the wages of sin is death unless Jesus steps in we will spend an eternity separated from God what does that mean it means when you got married I don't care how fine she was or how tall tan and terrific he was you said I do to a sinner it's a great forensic into this I would encourage you to read Hosea chapter three it actually chapters one through three cut God comes to Hosea says Hosea listen I'm a little bit frustrated my people I've married a serial philanderer they keep cheating on me by whoring after other gods by the way every time we sin we commit spiritual adultery but God says I'm unwilling to give up on them even though they're sinful I'm still in it so here's I want you to do Hosea you're a prophet I want you to actually marry a prostitute and when she sends on you chapter three I want you to go again and get her because your marriage is not a stale environment it is two very flawed people who when they hurt each other you actually have a profound opportunity to witness to the world of my grace and forgiveness in other words Hosea your marriage is not about your marriage it is an illustration of what I want done in this world I can't tell you that friend of mine grew up together in church Carlton you post it on Facebook he says listen my wife and I I was gonna leave her because I'm getting my stuff together gonna leave my wife and I'm getting some books off the bookshelf and one of the books that fell off the bookshelf is a book that my dad Crawford larette's had written and he picked the book up and he immediately thought back he grew up in a single-parent home and my dad kind of had this policy he just kept an extra plate out on the table so our family our rhythm was we always had people mostly from broken homes over at our house and here's what Carlton said when I saw that book about to leave my wife my mind went back sitting at the table of Crawford and Karen larette's and I had an image of what a good marriage was and I remember that and decided to stay in it two years later he's still in his marriage because he saw the power of two broken people leaning in to the gospel of Jesus Christ that didn't get the reality that we married a very broken flawed person I want you to Marin your marriage is like a bridge a bridge that's been poorly designed there's structural flaws in it no one really realized it but because of that there were structural flaws in it there were small cracks in it and finally the bridge opens up traffic is able to come through and now you've got these big heavy trucks that are driving across this bridge they don't realize there's structural structural flaws and now what's happening to those tiny cracks those tiny cracks under the weight of those trucks are actually gonna enlarge that's your marriage you said I do to a broken person a sinful person and they said I do to you likewise you are broken and sinful and here's what happens you get two sinners together and then you put the heavy weight the heavy truck of marriage on top of it it's only going to illumine and expose what you already brought into it that's why every marry person if they've really been honest they said stuff like I never knew how selfish I was till I got married marriage finds us out to let you into our home again Cory and I had two very flawed people and and through the years she's been far more gracious to me than I've been to her my wife grew up child a divorce her dad who since come to the Lord but he just he just skipped out on the family when my wife was younger this created this this longing for intimacy there I grew up in a home where my dad godly man but he was an evangelist he was gone a couple hundred days out of the year preaching the gospel and my mother did the best she could she did the best she could she's a great mother but because of the home she grew up in she didn't know how to emotionally connect so get the picture I marry a woman who's longing for intimacy but I'm a kindergartner and how to give that intimacy I mean the first couple years I was an idiot don't say Amen sister larette's here's the punchline and I want you to sit under this because you're a sinner and because you married a sinner your spouse is not equipped to meet the deepest longings of your soul see see what what what I'm saying to use this the doctrine of sin kills the happiness ethic if your mentality is I'm gonna get married and they're going to fulfill me they're going to complete me Jerry Maguire I didn't see that movie someone told me about it your spouse was not designed to bear the crushing weight of deity they're not God they're not Jesus so stop expecting them to be Jesus they can't meet your deepest needs God can on the cross Jesus did so what that means for me on my side of the table I can't look to my wife to fill in the gaps in my heart that's God's job but on my side of the table what it does mean is I don't have a passive thing when it comes to the gaps in my wife's life I go power of the Holy Spirit Jesus I know I'm not you but but but I understand that often times you want to use me as an instrument to to get done what you want done her I'm totally available however you want to use me however you want got whatever you want to do but but but I've got to take deity off my shoulders we're broke in secondly let's go home on this one your marriage will be will only be a witness to the world of the hope of a gospel when it rests on the gospel and here's what that means the gospel begins with I am a sinner but how did I get with God he forgave me of my sins first John 1:9 says if we confess our sins he's faithful and just to forgive us of our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness Psalm 103 verse 12 says as far as the East is from the West is as far as he has removed our sins from us we are saved not because God constantly brings up our stuff and reminds us of our stuff but he forgives he he lets it go as one writer said I love it look at it with me God invented forgiveness as the only way to keep his romance with the human race alive so our relationship with God only works because God has placed on repeat the song of forgiveness I forgive you I forgive you I forgive you I forgive you I forgive you I forgive you I forgive you and that's just today and just says our marriage with God won't work without forgiveness or marriage with our spouse won't work without forgiveness we all sin and do things to hurt each other but the uniqueness of marriage is that the one human who loves us the most who holds my heart in her hand is the one who is hurt most deeply by my sins more than anyone else so let's you back into my home probably one of the more awful things that I ever did to Cory again we came to this marriage Cory was starving for intimacy I'm a kindergartner and giving it and our first son had just been born and I came home from day well from work one day and and I'm looking at my wife and she just she just got has this meltdown and she's gone I don't know if I can do this talking about our firstborn son he's just days old and I don't if I can do this and she's crying and like I don't know to do again I'm a kindergartner when it comes to this stuff and I just freeze and I said I'm gonna play golf you get yourself together I'll be back I feel judgment and if you we would have testimony service in here will let your spouse testify on you I'm just doing what the what young folks say I'm keeping it 100 but don't you see in that moment a deeply wounded Corey our marriage had no hope of going forward unless there was going to be forgiveness some of the problems in your marriage is you're stuck on the History Channel and something comes up you've been an argument with your spouse sorry marital realignment session and y'all going at it and all of a sudden stuff from 10 years ago comes up and you know how did we how did my mama get into this in Matthew 18 Jesus tells a stunning story he says there's a servant who was in debt to a king he owed him ten thousand talents it's crazy amount of money the servant pleads them please be patient me I pay everything and in a stunning act of forgiveness the text says that the King just released him of the debt that's forgiveness it's a letting go then this Joker goes out have been forgiving about billions of dollars find somebody who owes him a few denarii that's a couple dollars and starts choking him saying pay me what you owe Ward gets back to the king what this servant is just done whom he just forgave and the King says are you kidding me I just forgave you billions of dollars and you're stuck on a few dollars that someone owed you this is the epitome of hypocrisy every time I fail to forgive Corey I commit spiritual hypocrisy don't you see this story God is the king I'm the servant he's forgive me of everything I've ever done am doing and will forever do so for me to receive the forgiveness of God but to withhold it from my spouse I want to be careful here are the reasons to divorce absolutely some of you all have experienced domestic violence and it's horrible and it's reprehensible and I always counsel at minimum at minimum temporary separation until that person shows the fruits of repentance if not divorce you all know I don't play that around here we don't play men putting their hands on women I've told you all before we're gonna start a ministry about some six foot nine 380 pound guys will be unleashed to go to your house and lay hands on you and not for prayer don't even tell me what you did we don't play that now what I'm going to say is really hard some of you have been cheated on and you have the biblical right according to Matthew 19 to divorce but before you jump into that if you've been cheated on let me just ask you a question I think God can get more glory out of that you that person has to show the fruits of repentance if I really understand the gospel and you main you may be on a page I just can't do it I understand that but just I really I cheat on God daily it was Bishop Desmond Tutu and his wonderful book no future without forgiveness in which he talks about the Truth and Reconciliation Commission in South Africa and and he says I literally solve forgiveness turn beasts into beauties forgiveness has a way of just changing people and how God does us how are we changed not by condemnation but by grace and forgiveness and in some way I think God designed marriage to be a journey between two sinners so that we wouldn't allow our forgiveness muscles to atrophy so we forgive and we forgive and we forgive let me end by giving you five practical things - forgiveness number one remember God has forgiven you this is what a gospel eyes marriage looks like why does Cory constantly need to forgive me and why do I constantly need to forgive her because Brian don't you see that's what God constantly does to you to speak the truth in love mrs. found in Ephesians there can be no genuine forgiveness into the offense as well processed and articulated so I do something to offend my wife she needs to now come to me and she needs to now speak truth to me but she needs to do it in love and because of this I do think it's appropriate sometimes we can get real heated and real ticked off sometimes we just need to say I'm a little cranky right now give me a couple hours or maybe tomorrow we'll come back together and talk about but trust me brother you don't want me to talk right now because I'm trying to speak truth in love and it's here I want you to remember your spouse is not your enemy Ephesians 6:12 says we wrestle not we wrestle not against flesh and blood your spouse is not your enemy third don't generalize don't say things like you always or you never focus on the issue not character so if we got to deal with an issue of not speaking the truth and lying let's deal with that don't say so don't say you're a liar that's a character indictment focus on the specific issue here fourth listen attentively so when Corey comes to me she's got a grievance with me I don't need to fiddle with my phone I don't need to constantly cut her off I contact don't cross your arms open posture put the defenses down let him finish let her finish fifth apologize appropriately no fake apologies no I'm sorry you took it that way did I just come back and come down somebody street no I'm sorry your mama trains you that way we get nasty don't we so to apologize appropriately means I'm specific so if my wife comes to me and says listen I thought we had an agreement if we spent over a hundred dollars on the credit card we'd call one another asked for permission I'm looking at the credit card bill I see some golf clubs for about a thousand bucks I'm sorry you took it that way honey y'all get out my marriage no an appropriate apology is honey you're right I'm sorry for violating our agreement and I'll take them back when you take your purses back just kidding just kidding just kidding y'all get out my marriage I don't want Ben in the team to come my grandparents were married for 53 years and I'll never forget my dad tells a story towards the towards the end of their their lives dad was there visiting and he walked into the kitchen and my grandparents were going at it and and when I say that it was more my grandfather going in or my grandmother and my grandmother just kind of listened patiently this is 50 something years in marriage and when he's done she says Crawford I hear you but please don't forget at the end of the day we're all we've got at the end of the day Cory and I are all we've got [Music] and I hope you don't take this the wrong way I love you all I love you all Thomas we need to go play golf this week I enjoy hanging out with you I stayed late many nights sitting with you here and your stories entering into what God is doing in your life I pray for you all daily [Music] but you all ain't got nothing on me and Cory [Music] she's more of a priority to me than you are at the end of the day we're all we've got and we've gone through some hard times in our marriage we can talk to you about crying our eyes out at st. Jude's with one of our children who was diagnosed with a disease we can talk about to you about miscarriages we can just talk about the mess in each other's lives and the arguments that we've had but we keep coming back to the gospel and we keep coming back to the gospel and that's what saved us for 19 years is what God in Christ has done for us [Music] Satan wants to make your home another casualty and I want you to resolve that he ain't gonna get your marriage work it out forgive get therapy love each other walking the power of the Spirit of God I want to pray [Music] if you're here today and and and you just felt like this was a word in season for your marriage and I don't care where you may be you may be yeah it's pretty bad right now or you may just be like yeah it's it's good but man we just we're just feeling it right now and we want prayer would you come meet me at the altar if you feel like this is a word in season for your marriage would you do you just come meet me at the altar right now we want to we want to pray over you we want to pray over you yes this is this is where it's at no matter where you may be we just we just want to pray we just want on a right elder Zeke to come up we just want to pray we just won't pray we just won't pray we just won't pray we just want to pray just weren't right you-you-you-you you may have gotten the papers to file for divorce but I declare to you God's not finished yet he's not he's not done yet he's not done yet God has an assignment on your marriage God has an assignment on your home and the enemy is coming to kill and to steal and to destroy but he that is in you it's greater than he that is in the world I want you to hear me if you've gone down the path of divorce the fact that you're living today is God saying I'm not done with you either I'm not done he's he's a God of another chance so I want to elder's ich to pray over you all they're still coming they're still coming they're still coming and I just want you to stretch a hand towards those who are here you you may have a friend that's up here and I want you to feel the freedom to come and stand with them would you just stretch a hand towards these who are here elder Zeek would you just you just pray God's blessings over these marriages the Lord just uh we thank you for just loving us where we are broken people that hurt each other constantly but thank you for your example on the cross thank you for your example for coming after me specifically and the many many exams in my own marriage today yesterday and moving forward I know you're gonna show up because we're gonna continue to try to make you two priority thank you for just hurting people who have come up and those who are still sitting in their seats Lord that you're an aunt I'm God no matter what we're going through finances hurting each other illness argument fighting Lord you can make it better right now we lean on you you're the only one that can do it I'm so glad that we're reminded that marriage is not about being happy marriage is about love married about working it out just like we have to work out our faith Lord and I thank you for couples who are here saying we need help we need you Lord it's hard because we're people and pride steps in and keeps us from doing what's right but God I pray that we just be a more humble people after your heart that we start bearing the fruits of the spirit Lord and not our own desires knowing that this thing is not about not about us Lord but it's about you and the example that we can set for others Lord as you reach them and we say marriage is here to stay as we say we're not gonna walk out on our spouse and we're gonna hold on if it's the last thread Lord and we're gonna hold on to that thread for dear life and fight oh god I thank you for your people today I thank you for an honest word Lord about marriage a lot of time the church doesn't want to talk about it but we need it there's a word in season for our church Lord they're hurting people here I'm hurting oh god help us make us better by making us understand who you are and how powerful you are you spoke and made all of this [Music] we need to remember you can speak and make our marriages better you can speak and make our attitudes bed you can speak and make us love each other better Lord we all have to ask and go to our private place and focus on you Oh God just help us to help others help us to keep focused on your word help us to understand that we're not alone sometimes it feels like it's just our situation but Satan he has a template and he goes out that marriage is specifically for certain things father teach us how to recognize those and not to fall for his his schemes father feel the pain of a lot of people here Lord have my own but I love you and we love you and we're gonna leave all this here on the cross with you today father we ask this and many other things that we know you're going to do we actually just show up in every situation out here Lord I don't know the specifics but they're here for a reason and you know I just actually touched these marriage in the Milan way encourage them and send them to your word to find answers we ask this in Jesus Holy Name and let the church say look at what's going on at abundant light this week ladies make plans to attend the woman's eleventh annual Christmas tee entitled I am the bread of life it promises to be a memorable event with great food praise and worship by Carolyn vaca - along with a special message by our very own coroner it's this event takes place on Saturday December 8th from 10:00 a.m. to 1:00 p.m. in the fellowship hall tickets are available today after service or online for many people the holidays can be a tough season especially for children separated from their families so let's all come together for ALCS 19th annual Christmas gift Drive to help children of incarcerated parents local youth and families of the military serving abroad it kicks off with training on Sunday November 18th from 12:00 to 1:00 p.m. in allies to the house and the gift Drive goes through December 20th if you're 18 to 30 ish and looking to go deeper in your walk with God within a community of young adult believers or if you're not a believer but would like to learn about God's plan for your life make plans to join our young adults group for Friday fellowship on November 9th and 30th from 7 to 9 p.m. at Pastor Gary that's house for more information contact yaa LCS net there's no need to wait until Sunday to worship with the AL CF family when you can join us for worship night a midweek gathering filled with praise prayer and an inspiring message from Pastor Brian this event takes place on Wednesday November 14th from 7 to 8 p.m. in the sanctuary our young adult Sunday mita is a great opportunity for people 18 to 30 ish to connect and have fun with other young adults over lunch meet us at the center pillar in the lobby after service on Sundays and we'll head out together to enjoy tasty local eatery from 11:30 to 1 p.m. if you are new to abundant life and want to learn more about our story vision and values be sure to join pastor Bryant at our guests luncheon this is a LCF the event takes place on Sunday November 18th from 12:00 to 1:00 p.m. in the chapel to sign up for any of these upcoming events go to a LCF dotnet / signups or check out the ALC app and remember abundant life exists to make a better you for a better world

Channel: Abundant Life Christian Fellowship

Views: 3,716

Rating: 4.7894735 out of 5

Keywords: 6-11-18

Id: 8BBFELIleA0

Length: 68min 5sec (4085 seconds)

Published: Sun Nov 04 2018