Gospel-Shaped Marriage

as I mentioned before we started the service We are continuing our Series this morning through the New Testament book of First Peter and last week Pastor hos helped us to see that the gospel the good news about Jesus that is at the very center of the Bible at the very center of our faith that it actually shapes every part of our Lives even the way that we think about and approach the government and the marketplace and in some ways this morning we're continuing that theme the gospel shapes every part of our Lives even marriage so in a moment I'm going to read 1 Peter 3: 1 through 7 I'd love it if you would follow along with me and my hope is that by the end we'll see that these words contain good news not just for those of us that are married but for every single one of us in this room let's look at it now 1 Peter 3 veres 1-7 likewise wives be subject to your own husbands so that even if some do not obey the word they may be one without a word by the conduct of their wives when they see your respectful and pure conduct do not let your adorning be external the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry or the clothing you wear but let your ad adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet Spirit which in God's sight is very precious for this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to Adorn themselves by submitting to their own husbands as Sarah obeyed Abraham calling him Lord and you are her children if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening likewise husbands live with your lives in an understanding way showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel since they are heires with you of the grace of life so that your prayers may not be hindered the grass withers and the flowers fade but these words of our God will stand forever every one of them is given to you in love and every one of them is true would you please pray with me father as we come to your word now we recognize how desperately we need your help we need the Holy Spirit if we are going to have ears to hear the gospel ears to hear the voice of Christ speaking this morning we need the Holy Spirit if we're going to see Jesus the Risen and crucified Lord high and lifted up we need your spirit if we're going to see how the gospel shapes every part of our Lives even our marriages so would you help us now by the presence of your spirit would you strike a straight blow with a Crooked Stick would you protect all these friends who are hear this morning from my sins for they are many and would the words of my mouth and the meditations of all of our hearts be acceptable in your sight oh Lord our Rock and Our Redeemer I pray all these things in Christ's name amen 1 Peter 3 1-7 the passage I just read is a passage that is full of good news for men and for women but in our cultural moment it might not seem that way on first reading on this side of me too and in an era of expanded reporting about real abuses of authority in the home in the church in the politics in the world it could seem like these words are just a relic of a bygone patriarchal era and I want to assure you on the front end that that could not be any further from the truth a little bit of historical backgrounds might be helpful for us here because in the first century Greco Roman world the world into which the Apostle Peter is writing the nearly universal view of that day was that women were by Nature inferior to men but what do we see Peter saying In this passage he describes these wives as co-s with their husbands of the grace of life we see Peter dignifying women by recognizing who they are not only as God's creatures but those set apart by the grace of Christ and we also see him dignifying women by calling them to imitate Christ you see when Jesus came from Heaven to Earth to seek the church to be his holy Bride As we'll sing in a few moments he came submitting himself to Earthly Authority for example he submitted himself to the authority of his parents Joseph and Mary but that submission in no way shape or form made him inferior to them he is the god man so the first major point I want us to see this morning is that Christian wives are called to imitate Christ in the expression of a powerful submission to imitate Christ in an expression of a powerful submission look at verses 1 and two again because Peter's words here I believe have import for all Christian wives and really for all of us but they're arising out of a particular pastoral concern you see there are these women in the churches to which Peter is writing that found themselves married to unbelieving husbands and what does Peter call these women to do in the challenging situation they find themselves in he calls them not to submit to all men in general but to submit to their own husbands and yet we need to see that even this submission is a relative one it is one that shows respect and honor but not ultimate Allegiance or unqualified obedience there was a famous Roman philosopher named plutar who wrote not long after Peter wrote this letter and plutar in his day and age was actually something of a moderate when it came to his views on women but even plutar believed that it was the man in the Roman home who got to deci de unilaterally got to decide which gods the household would worship and so it's striking here that we see Peter assuming that these women are called to give their ultimate Allegiance not to their husbands but to Christ and so we see that in a Christian marriage there is a foundational equality and yet there is also a distinction in roles a good distinction as a part of God's good design but even that role distinction is subjected to the ultimate authority of Jesus so here's the first thing I want you to see especially if you are a Christian wife here in the room but really all of us I want you to see that wives are being invited to imitate Christ and expressing a powerful submission by being a faithful witness in word and In Deed when Peter indicates that some of these women are married to Men Who disobey the word he's saying that they've rejected the gospel and probably with some amount of antagonism and opposition so in the next moment when he's giving these instructions for these Christian wives when he tells them that they can have this opportunity by their conduct to win their husbands without a word he's not saying that they should avoid talking about Jesus in their conversation with their husbands he's not against the use of the Gospel we read Romans 10 earlier in our service and there we saw that unless someone is sent and preaches the gospel there's no hope for someone to come to Faith In Jesus so Peter here is not against the use of words but he's against empty words he's against this separation that we can sometimes experience in our lives that I experience in my own life this separation between our confession of what we believe and the fruit of the faith in our lives so we have this opportunity to ask ourselves all of us does the way that you live and relate towards the people closest to you in your home or your workplace or your neighborhood or your church does your conduct line up with your confession of Faith all of us are being called to be faithful Witnesses in word and In Deed because this is the way that Christian witness always works it's word and deed together that shows that the gospel is not empty of power because this is the way that Jesus came when he came he was a faithful witness in word and In Deed at the end of his life as he's hanging on that Roman cross it was not so much the words that he spoke but his manner of dying that brought this Roman Centurion to this point of confession to say truly this is the Son of God all of us are called to be faithful Witnesses but I I don't want you to miss the particularities of this situation that Peter is writing into the sad truth is that Christian women some Christian women throughout history some Christian women today have experienced real suffering and opposition and in ISM from their husbands because they're followers of Jesus and one thing that we need to see from these words is that if this is at all a part of your story you can know for sure that Jesus is with you in your suffering and that he is honored by it here's the second thing we need to see about this powerful submission it takes the shape not only of a faithful witness in word and In Deed but also of a true true adornment I want you to look at verses 3 and four again with me it says do not let your adorning be external the braiding of hair and putting on of gold jewelry or the clothing you wear but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet Spirit which in God's sight is very [Music] precious when we hear these words we need to bear clear about something from the get-go Peter is not suggesting that it is wrong for women to wear gold jewelry or to get their hair done at a salon right uh my mother-in-law is a hair stylist and I do not believe that she needs to repent of her profession which is really good news for me because I get free haircuts every time she comes to visit logically if we thought that Peter was saying here that Christian women shouldn't wear nice jewelry or they shouldn't get their hair done we would actually also have to conclude that Peter is trying to establish a nudist colony because when he's talking about this external adorning he goes on to specifically name the clothing that you wear and I have good news for you that's not what Peter's saying he's not trying to establish a nud disc Colony so what is he saying he's saying that a Christian wife's attractiveness primarily to her husband should not be about external decoration but should be about an internal Conformity to the image of Jesus he's saying that external adornment isn't bad but it's not ultimate it doesn't matter like the inter internal does it can't convey the power of the Gospel like a heart that is conformed to the character of Christ so how ought a Christian wife Adorn herself verse 4 tells us let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet Spirit now you might be wondering why does Peter focus on these specific character traits of a gentle and quiet spirit and it's actually not because these are especially feminine virtues it's because they're Christian virtues they're virtues that reflect the heart of the King Jesus who in Matthew 11 describes himself as gentle and lowly it reflects what the Christian Community at large ought to look like as Paul writes in 1 Timothy 2 that all Christians are called to live a quiet life in Imitation of their savior but these Christian wives are called to a gentle and quiet spirit and it's at this point that I need to have have a quick aside to make something important clear it's likely that in context the word frightening in verse 6 indicates that some of these women were really experiencing poor treatment from their husbands and I said earlier that the Christian women who suffer hardship because they're Disciples of Jesus that Christ is present with them in that suffering that he's honored by them in that suffering but I also need to make clear that this call to Gentle character to quiet Spirit to respectful and pure conduct none of this should lead anyone to tolerate abuse because at the end of the day calling someone out on sinful and violent behavior is actually good for them it's actually loving to them sometimes the right way to show honor to someone in your life to care for them them is to establish a boundary to seek their Eternal welfare even as you're seeking the safety of your own as a beloved child of the king that said Christian wives in the room why should you care so much about this internal adornment well we already saw that part of the motivation for some women throughout history has been that they had this ministry opportunity for their lives as they're conformed to the image of Jesus to be a testimony to the goodness of Christ that might be used by God to bring their husbands to faith in him but there's actually an even greater motivation than that in this passage and one that is true for all of us one that is true for all women even if you're married to a very Godly Christ following husband the greater motivation is found in verse four where we're told that this Christlike character is precious in God's sight it's precious to him isn't this to be the motivation for all of us in every part of our lives that we would live in a way that is pleasing to God not to earn his love that's given to us freely but to live in a way that is pleasing to the father who calls us his beloved so let's consider together men and women are you ever tempted to think more to put more time and money and resources into your diet and your exercise than growing in Holiness are you ever so focused on your appearance whether you're feeling especially attractive on a given day or especially unattractive that you let that distract you from being turned outward in love toward God and others Your Body Matters To God God loves your body more than you do adorning your body isn't bad caring for your body is good but what is called very precious In this passage it is likeness to Christ so how do we become like Jesus if that's what's very precious to God how do we actually grow in Imitation of him well we actually get an important answer in verse 6 in this context Peter is using Sarah the wife of Abraham as an example of what Godly submission looks like but I want you to notice that in verse 6 he says to these Christian women you are children of Sarah you are children of Sarah he doesn't say if you get your act together and really start imitating Christ in this and that way that then you'll become children of Sarah he says you are children of Sarah this is the way that Grace always works we belong to God by his grace and over time we become more and more who God has destined us to be a couple summers ago I tore my ACL playing basketball on campus at the ufi maybe some of y'all remember me like hobbling around for a while in my big brace but it's been a few months now since I've been officially cleared by my physical therapists and by my doctors to return do all sports but I have to confess something to you this morning I've not yet really gone back to playing basketball you might be wondering why have you've been cleared by your doctors and your physical therapists and the honest answer is that I'm scared you see I'm not experiencing the benefit of something that is actually true about me already my mind has not yet caught up to the reality of my body and isn't this so often the case in our Christian lives see the way that you grow Christian women and and all of us the way that you grow in imitation of Christ is by recognizing what God has already said about you is true that Jesus perfectly submitted to the father perfectly submitted to the cross in your place and that when God looks at you he sees you in light of his perfect performance so your job then is just to live more and more in light of what God has already said is true about you in Jesus well that brings us to our second Point gentle headship and I I need to offer a quick apology to the men in the room that you're going to get the short end of the stick in the sermon it's going to be a little bit more brief here but that's really just because Peter is more brief In this passage but it's also at this point that I need to confess to you that there is not a relationship in my life that shows me my need for the mercy of Jesus more than my marriage to Amanda there's not a relationship in my life that shows me my need for for my life to be shaped by the gospel more than this so if that resonates with any of you men at all then I invite you to pay special attention to Peter's words here it's in light of the Gospel in light of the example of Jesus but Al also his perfect obedience in our place that husbands are called to two things here primarily to live in an understanding way with their wives and to show them honor to live in an understanding way with them in light of their weakness more on that in a moment but but also to show them honor because they're co-s of the grace of Life the Resurrection Life to come so what do we see when we actually put these two commands together we actually learn something about our wives we learn that our wives are both weak and glorious both weak and glorious just like all of us just like you now the language of weaker vessel can be confusing it can be a stumbling block uh probably this is just referring to the observable reality that on average women do not have as much physical muscular strength as men on average and just as Christ exercises his infinitely Superior power always for the benefit of his bride the church so these Christian husbands are called to exercise their relatively Superior power always for the benefit of their Brides but putting physical differences aside for a moment it's also true that we have some strong women in this church women that are competent gifted in in ways that we're not that that's part of God's good design if I can go out on a limb for a moment I would venture a guess that on average Christian men today find it easier to see the glory in their lives than maybe the average Christian man in the first century because we're all shaped by the cultural Waters that we're swimming in and Frank L I'm I'm happy for that change but there is a danger here you can't let the fact husbands that your wife is glorious keep you from paying attention to Peter's call to live with her in an understanding way in a way that attends not only to her glory as someone made in God's image and being renewed by the spirit but also attends to her weakness I know this temptation personally I think my wife is incredibly glorious but I can sometimes let that be an excuse to not do the hard work of paying attention to to her weakness and to her needs well there's a lot on the table here if men do not live in light of this call through the power of the spirit what does Peter say will happen if you don't do this he says it can Hinder are prayers one commentator put it this way these are some striking words he said men who transfer cultural Notions about the superiority of men over women into the Christian Community lose their ability to communicate with God those are striking words but it's not actually contradicting the free nature of Grace it's just recognizing that our relationship with God is inseparable from our relationship with others that's true in general how much more with the one with whom we are one flesh these are somber words for men to hear that your fellowship with God can suffer if your fellowship with your wife is suffering it's a call for us to lovingly carefully with energy care for our Brides but these can also be sad words for women to hear uh even if you have a really Godly husband who loves you and loves Jesus there's certainly been a time in your life when he's failed to care for you like he ought when he's failed to pray for you like he ought so I want to point you if that's part of your story to some comfort because if you sometimes have an Earthly husband who fails to care for you and pray for you like he should the bble tells you you can know for sure that you always have a Heavenly husband who cares for you and praise for you perfectly and without ceasing Robert Murray mcshain was a Scottish Pastor from a couple hundred years ago and he once said this he said if I could hear Christ praying for me in the next room I would not fear a million enemies pause for a moment and and think about something you're afraid of something that has spurred up fear in your heart in the last week would that thing seem so fearful if you could hear Christ praying for you in the next room but he goes on he says if I could hear Christ praying for me in the next room I would not fear a million enemies yet distance makes no difference he is praying for me if you know that your perfect Heavenly husband prays for you you can be emboldened to honor your imperfect Earthly husband that God has given you men do you at times have wives who do not show you the respect that they ought to who who do not care for you in the ways that they should I wonder if you're at all like me when you experience the sting of your wife's sin how easy it is to turn towards impatience and defense iess how easy it is to feel like your own failures as a husband that that's what ultimately defines you and I want to remind you that just as we saw with Christian women in the first point the way forward for you to grow in imitation of Christ is to know what God already says is true about you that Jesus the perfect Heavenly husband died in your PR Place lived in your place rose again in your place he is the one who defines you and if you have this secure identity then you can be free to extend to your wife the same kind of patient love that you have received from Jesus we've been thinking a lot this morning about how the gospel shapes marriage about how both women and men are called to imitate Christ about how the power for that change comes from Jesus and from his Spirit but as we prepare to close I want us to see not only that the gospel is the power of marriage but that marriage is a picture of the gospel and whether you're married or single whether you're a man or a woman whether you're young or old all of us need to see this to grow in likeness to Christ which is very precious to God we see this idea hinted at in 1 Peter 3 but it's made explicit in Paul's letter in Ephesians chapter 5 where he says that marriage is a mystery that points to the relationship between Christ and his church I remember growing up I used to think that weddings were kind of boring uh maybe some of you kids in the room resonate with that a little bit but good news uh I would say that at this point in my life there's almost nothing in the world that I look forward to more than a wedding weddings are amazing right and one of the best parts of a wedding is when the back doors open and the bride who's dressed in her beautiful white dress starts walking down the aisle I wonder when that incredible moment happens where you typically look many of us I think rightfully so look at the bride there's almost nothing more beautiful than a bride on her wedding day but I need to tell you that W with the except ception of my own wedding my favorite place to look in that moment is not at the bride as beautiful and wonderful as she is but it's at the groom to see his face to see his Delight as his bride approaches him to see that in his face I can know he's thinking right now there is nothing in the world more beautiful than this what if you could know for sure that that really is how Jesus looks at you and when he looks at you he doesn't see your sin and your failure your shame and your guilt but if your trust is in him when he looks at you he says there's nothing in the world more beautiful than this if you know that that that is true it can become power for you to imitate Christ in your marriage even when it's really hard and if you don't know that that is true this morning I want to invite you uh to plead with you to call out to Jesus today to ask him to wash you to be your gentle head to be the one who powerfully submitted to the cross in your place and then rose on high to cleanse and care for his bride trust in him and you'll see that this doesn't just bring power for marriage but it gives you the power to live in a joy-filled relationship with the lover of your souls would you please pray with me Jesus we thank you that you submitted and died to Adorn your bride not in a really expensive white dress but in the true beauty of your righteousness we thank you that you submitted and died to make us failures as we are hes with you of the grace of the eternal life to come we thank you that this good news about you really does touch every part of our Lives even our marriages and I ask that you would give us your spirit aresh even as we prepare to go from here that that we would be able to grow in likeness to you because we already Belong To You by Grace we pray all these things in your name amen

Channel: All Souls Presbyterian Church

Views: 22

Keywords: Christianity, Bible, Sermons, reformed, pca, all souls presbyterian church, gospel, Jesus, sermon, christian, grace, Christ, 1 Peter

Id: 9n4X3O6xP_M

Length: 31min 39sec (1899 seconds)

Published: Tue Jul 02 2024