Gooey Long w/ Mark Normand | Known Zone #8

my move is I'll I grabbed their arm right here and I pull them in so that way they can they can do what I'm not gonna move interesting but if they want to keep going they get to do it that's a nice move because yeah I got turned on a little bit right then yeah that was good yeah we on yeah oh we're on yeah oh I didn't know we were on that's fine [ __ ] sorry oh yeah I was listening I thought you were just totally disinterested no no a minute and a half yeah we're good I'll pick it up yeah so uh welcome to a very special episode of the known zone I'm Andy Haynes and I'm joined by my partner in crime the little Lotus bull awesome himself the little little annoyed pancake tarot root Patty I'm Wilfred Wilfred Padua yes this is your special lady if you have the right kind of money um and we have a we have a good guest we have a great guest good buddy I don't even need to introduce you if you know comedy you know this guy you know that voice his catchphrase if he had one would be comedy yeah one time I uh I was doing checks on um by the way his name is Mark Norman she never said his name thank you thank you I was doing checks on uh um good eggs yeah and you weren't there and whenever you're not there everyone's upset ah uh and like they're not a good audience so I went up and I was like comedy no one liked it oh that's great yeah people are sending me clips of people like all around the country like young comics and open mics going I'm Kevin Hart comedy and I'm like what the you can't just do the thing yeah yeah you gotta come up with your own thing well you remember when we were coming up there was like everybody was trying to be Rory or Kyle Kinane oh yeah and they they didn't do it to the point where they were like using catchphrase but I can't tell you how many guys I ran into from Atlanta with a beard yeah they were like I was in Chicago at that time yeah oh I slept on a barge yeah like shaky mic thing yeah and I'm like what are you doing right yeah I I know a bunch of guys that I started with that were trying to be Rory and so they just never wrote jokes they're like oh you just go up there and you be funny I'm like and it never worked out for him I saw I was at an open mic in DC and uh Rory turned to me and he go this is 2006 and Rory turned to me it was 2005. and he goes uh what if we just go up and don't do jokes and I was like I don't know man like I was like a year in and then he did it and he you know became Rory Scoville in that moment and the rest of us were just like what the [ __ ] just happened like he just figured it out like in one moment I don't really think he's like being a friend of her I don't think he's gotten better I just think that he just was about himself just he just became Rory right away and then everybody else kind of caught up a little bit were you with me this is I don't know 15 14 years ago we're at Whiplash a UCB theater Rory and Todd Glass are always buddies and they would always [ __ ] with each other and Todd Glass is on stage and Roy's in the back oh we get it you're gay and it's killing it's killing and then Rory goes on and Todd goes we get it your dad died but Rory lost it it was great the comics died but the audience was like Jesus Christ oh that's yeah I love those moments there was like multiple nights that I can look back on where me and you were sitting against that back wall oh yeah specifically the Sean Patton era yeah like dude I saw uh I opened for David Cross want to say like 2019 hmm it was before the pandemic and uh this was at Union Hall he's like doing his like material [ __ ] uh where he kind of just makes it up and he said the N word like four times whoa in 2019. they must have gotten really so what was weird was that because they're all like gay for Dave across so they yeah they do they were like oh this is weird and then as soon as he moved on they're like okay he's he's the guy again I told you I think I've told you guys this story I was opening for Dave Foley in DC and I think he was going through a pretty rough period in his life he lost an alimony case where he had to pay child support for his news radio uh like value but news radio is over he didn't have that money anymore right so he was like owed like something like 35k a month damn and he didn't have a job he was drinking a lot and stuff like that but this was like when Louis was huge it was probably like 2011 2012 yeah and I think in his head he is just starting stand up and he goes I'll just do what Louie does and he closes on like a five minute n-word bit where he says the n word hardar 25 times really just to silence just like wow he doesn't do stand-up I mean he doesn't know ravi's a funny person but he doesn't know how to like walk people yeah I used to I had a bit where I said the n-word on stage it was like right when I started uh it's crowd work who's in the front yeah um but and obviously I don't do it anymore and I I learned but I was just like I remember I was talking with some comics in New York and I was like yeah I've said every word on stage and like you you said the N word I was like yeah but I mean aren't we all stupid Comics at some point yeah that's trying to figure this out I did a show I did it once I did it in Park Slope hot crowd and I threw my n-word bit in there and there was a black couple in the front row and the look they gave me they were like ah man we liked you and now we hate you and now we feel weird and I never did it again that's the one thing where it's like I don't even I really don't care what a comic says I think it's like up to the audience if the audience doesn't like you that's your thing I don't care that Tony called whatever that comic in Texas whatever you know like that sounds racist even says yeah yeah like this um you know like a lot of but the the n-word bit I'm I'm just like that's the one that I you know like I it might be conditioning too but I'm always like come on we don't do that right but you don't get mad that's what I don't get these Comics because they get so angry and post about I'm like why are you angry also I mean if a black guy gets mad great yeah go punch him in the face that's fine I think for me it's that attack like to do the bit like an n-word bit now it's like that's why I'd be like come on you're just trying to be Louis CK from 2007. but that was a great bit it was that chewed up uh n-word [ __ ] yeah the barista open with it yeah and it was amazing and we all loved it and now we just magically don't love it well and it's not that I'm not against the bit itself I'm it's that like people tried it for so long and it now it's like to try to be you know not black and doing an n-word bit about how we should say it or shouldn't say it oh yeah that doesn't matter that's not a good angle yeah I should be able to say it it's like all right Kramer yeah I have tried to do bits where I talk about the n-word I don't say it but I like you know I I had a bit about how it's weird as a white person because it's the word you're never supposed to say but it's also one of the words you hear the most yes every song yeah if you're in Brooklyn you know yeah right and uh but then you're never allowed to say it it's just it's very but the second I start saying like if I my face says the end right right the audience is like we're not going yeah that's right I think it's a miracle that I haven't said it out loud and it was on accident yeah flirting it yeah we've talked about this before Wilfred gets you could you got a brown yeah that's the thing we talked about there are Filipinos that actively use the n-word and they get a pass true yeah the thing is uh I when I say it I don't say it well well because you don't have you don't have a accent like you don't have like a black sense I also like haven't been practicing like I used to yeah I only say it in bed yeah you need to get cornrows and a ponytail yeah and then you can start saying yeah you dress like a polo player yeah I'm still proud of my N word bit I don't I don't say it but I like the bit blows a bit well it's pretty quick it's a true story I got lost Upstate looking for a gig as a hot black girl she was walking on the sidewalk I asked her we kind of start flirting and a guy a hillbilly Drives By in a truck camo hat out of a move he goes n-word lover and I'm like Jesus man I just met this girl and you're gonna use the L word already so it's still just a fun misdirect but if I say n-word it's just so clunky yeah you can't say it you can't yeah yeah that's a great bit though it was a fun little bit I remember that bit I like that bit that's an old and it's a true story right true story yeah yeah and uh Sarah Silverman heard it once and and complimented me that was back when she was when she was on her yeah I'm a little more black-facy yeah the good old days there's so many people in that camp of like La is such a dearth of uh like I don't even know what you call it Like Comics we respect anymore yeah it's just like Hypocrites now right there's so many people that like in the era of like Peak alternative comedy would say the worst [ __ ] and have fun is that still prevalent in L.A because I don't feel it in New York as much what's that the like you can't say anything better here than there it's like people are still living in this like there is a huge difference when you cross the Williamsburg Bridge oh 100 like you can't say most things there but then when I'm in Manhattan I'm having a great time yeah there it's almost weird because they've gone so far offended that they're like Christian conservatives they're like clinching their pearls like how dare you and I'm like you sound like Nancy Reagan we should have done I actually top we're gonna do uh cancel culture is the topic for you but not like not like cancel culture in general we were going to talk about like when it started yeah you know like who's the first person to be canceled and where it went from there right but I think you've probably done yeah I've got a million comments uh a bunch of guys sitting around talking about all right sorry we need to talk about how women have it too easy today's topic we're talking about I think something that you probably know quite a bit about I don't know probably not the uh Governor former governor of Louisiana uh Huey Long uh Kingfish Kingfish he's like our Trump wow he's like Louisiana's Trump but he was like a good Trump yeah he was good and as a kid you go to the Capitol Building because he was shot at and you can they show you that he got shot he got shot at oh he got shot he got shot oh he did get shot oh I like this guy already yeah let's do rocks Louisiana is so I've just gone to New Orleans for the first time in the last two years I always avoided it because I had quit drinking and you guys always told me to skip it smart but I like food and look at other stuff and [ __ ] like that but um it is a very it's like a kind of Lawless City oh it's like a there's a there's definitely like it's fun but there's a CD underbelly Mafia organized crime games there's a lot of that in in the sky yes he's very corrupt so okay Huey Long born in like 1893 I think oh he's that old yeah oh yeah he's uh from the north side of uh Louisiana which uh back then there was no roads the North side or the northern like he was kind of wealthy for the people in the town everyone was broke but his family was was doing fine were they like did they have a plantation [ __ ] like that uh this I don't know about what happened prior to like around the slave times but he was uh I just know that he claims that he was born in a log cabin but it was like a [ __ ] Mansion of a log okay it was like the Yellowstone Log Cabin yeah yeah how hot is that daughter huh Jesus the Irish daughter with the jugs let me see great drugs oh pull her up whatever she's the love interest in Flight oh really yeah she's a great one she plays a messy woman no matter where she is she's always got like smeared yeah right there very Irish oh great Nubs she does have great knobs oh yeah she shows them off like you wouldn't believe and did you show them up in Yellowstone well she's always clanging them around and there's a couple of side boobs it's so crazy how um if you give me a squinny a skinny frame and and some giant knockers I'm like I'll literally I'll just jump into a pit of alligators I run so [ __ ] stupid I dated one for like a a small second and I was like I will do anything yeah I will but I'm just an idiot around New York because there's like this period of time it just passed oh yeah every girl is in a tank top with no bra and they're like jogging into a trampoline festival and you're like what the f I'm gonna leave my family if you keep this it's going on right now it's happening the sun is out the yoga pants are somewhere they're like left them in another state amazing babe if you see this uh I love you yeah please don't have your grandpa kill me he's like the he's uh one of nine kids he was homeschooled tool he's 11. smart smart guy very smart guy as soon as he went to school he convinced the teachers to have him skip the seventh grade look at that see skip to seven grade went into high school he's wait he convinced them yeah I [ __ ] love this dude this dude uh so he he gets into high school he creates uh he's such a manipulator I love it he creates a secret society amongst the students where like if you're a part of the society you wore red and um [Laughter] and then if uh it was his way of like running the school whoa like he had created Like rules were they intimidating staff yes and so he got in trouble for that gun trouble was like like you know went through all that and then later he uh petitioned to get his Principal fired so he got like went throughout the community got the proper amount of signatures to get him fired and then he dropped out of high school see now we got Biden yeah you can barely you know ride a bike this guy's doing all kinds of cool dude I honestly think that because he was a Democrat this is the type of guy that we we need him now that's the thing is like I think um I like somebody what I don't like is somebody who's corrupt and like can't stomach it you know like a Gavin Newsom who's like very obviously has been corrupted by the system yeah but a guy like this who knew what he was doing the whole time yeah it's like you want that like you like I just want a bullet yeah I want Clinton was our last guy like this well there's RFK guys shaking things up that's what I mean he's anti-vaccine that's the only forcing vaccine he's like you can get it if you want just don't make him get it to work yeah whoa but he's been like uh talking about autism for like years right I don't I just started looking him up because of Huey Long because I was like I think there's a parallel well here's the crazy thing I was at gas digital the other day not bragging and Dave Smith's like I gotta wrap this up got a guess coming in it was RFK Jr he's a presence he walks in you're like did you give him a lossage for that throat yeah the voice is [ __ ] that's like um so like I'm you know a lefty and I have like whatever I used to have ideals and you know like I used to [ __ ] I used to be like if you know if I met somebody who was like kind of a shitty politician whatever I met James Baker last week you know architect of many foibles around the world on America you know [ __ ] yeah it's done some stuff that's arguable you know and I immediately his presence yes 93 years old just walks in the room he's like oh how's everybody doing I was immediately enamored I would have signed on to his party it was like all my politics went out the window honestly like I've met I mean we've all met like rapists uh in this [ __ ] comedy scene so uh let's see uh After High School drops out of high school works as a traveling salesman uh he goes to three different colleges keeps on dropping out um eventually uh in there goes to Tulane law school the harbor of the South oh really that's what they would call it yeah so he goes to one year of law school and then he convinces the Louisiana Supreme Court to let him take the bar wow and then he passes the ball wow one year well so he kind of like game the system because all of his uh class is where bar Pat like the bar exam classes took all those just passed the bar real quick uh Autumn can we get this horny lady off to the screen and get a Huey Long picture up here so I can see the man we're talking he kind of looks like fat uh um he looks like fat Jeff assman oh he does yeah I can see that get fatness yeah nice that's a good one yeah he should play like he's got the kind of face where he should play like he could do a few classic kind of like period piece yes yeah he would do better than [ __ ] John Goodman yeah yeah he played it in the movie stinks was it called Kingfish yeah yeah I think I remember that oh he's also King Ralph which also stunk what was that King Ralph's kind of fun when he he is the African guy on like he has like an he becomes the king of England through like a descendancy kind of like okay thing and he's just an American schlub he becomes the king of England and there's a scene where he has this prime minister or like Royal from Africa come and they're gonna play darts and John Goodman's like I know what to do and they play spear darts the 90s fun times he's like wait I got a fix for this you like something I miss those days like uh was it Ace Ventura 2 when he goes to the African yeah called a wild or whatever God that call him nature yeah that was such a fun movie when the rhinoceros is giving birth oh is there anything funny than that coming out of the Rhino's ass and the kid's like Mommy look he's like gold whatever happened to Old JC you got on meds probably actually I bet he started painted his anti-meds I think he started like being a painter or something his girlfriend killed himself and that [ __ ] him all up oh yeah never been the same sense um so uh Huey Long was a painter or not a painter a lawyer for eight years uh and he like only represented poor people oh he like only represented people that most of his cases were um workers comp cases so his thing that he made sure everyone knew was like I never uh like like defended someone against a poor person wow yeah ran for governor in 1924 got third so 1924 he was born so he's 31. okay I think ran again in 1928 and won um his campaign slogan was Every Man a king do you know that one no no what do they teach you about here he went along I mean I learned this when I was seven it's all gone oh yeah drank it away yeah is it is he looked back at uh oh yeah oh yeah yeah really Pride of the South there's got to be a good statue of him big statues like Bridges a lot of Huey Long named after [ __ ] you know he named uh so he made like the first bridge to cross the Mississippi and Louisiana Huey P long Bridge oh I think I've crossed that yeah yeah I think I know where that is it's interesting I was wondering what they teach you because it's so like it's he's so divisive yeah you either love him or you hate him we learned he was a badass and a cool guy all right and I thought the same thing he's like a rapper of his day you know he's shysty he got shot at so he ran for governor became governor in 1928. um at his inauguration he threw a huge party do you guys know what happened at Andrew Jackson's first inauguration I think I heard about this song like uh Shane's podcast where the Andrew Jackson threw a huge party at the White House he like opened the White House and just ever hundreds and hundreds of people were in the White House just getting drunk for like 36 hours oh he just had like a he just had a farm yeah like to the point where he like snuck out a window together and like and stayed in a hotel nearby and then um they ended up like clearing out the white house because they were like we gotta start doing you know government stuff by uh like putting kegs out on the lawn and like this is good beer and then everyone went out on the line and they closed the doors oh smart did you guys ever go to a house party in high school where the house got [ __ ] up yeah we would [ __ ] it up I went to a house party in Seattle in like I don't know 1999 or something like that and there was a lot of kids that did like graffiti and petty crime and stuff like that and this kid who's actually a pretty successful actor now named he had people over to his mom's boyfriend's house which was a mansion on Queen Anne wow and the graffiti kids like spray painted inside the house like scratched their names into Crystal tables stole Armani suits yeah when the party was over the next day the guy left his mom what yeah whoa yeah what do you mean left his mom like broke up with her what boyfriend yeah wow that's crazy he was like yeah I can't [ __ ] with you anymore this is like forty thousand dollars worth of damage yeah probably more well probably more yeah we used to do that should we I remember one party we threw the grandfather clock in the pool like everything went in the pool you know one the one guy he was like a nerdy guy he's like don't touch that one one guy's like [ __ ] you and it starts throwing threw one thing in and then everybody's like let's do it the TV's in the pool the computer destruction is so fun when you're that age too like you just it's the first time you've ever tasted freedom I used to uh I lived on the eighth floor of my dorm in at Seattle U and uh we said just like throw like glass bottles out the window I like here and then there's a little dumpster out there and we would throw glass bottles try to hit that and then I realized uh it makes a louder bang if you fill up the the glass bottles with water or whatever and so we just [ __ ] chugging it it was awesome it's like the best time of my life killed that security what was I going to say there was one other one that I was thinking of I got arrested at a house party one time this is my last arrest was uh I was blackout drunk the cop showed up and I thought I was gonna hook up with this girl and I was [ __ ] house I'm 21 maybe okay and I went outside to stop the cops from breaking up the party and I was like you guys I'm about to get laid you cannot do this come on no they totally threw me on the hood of the car and all that yeah it was a bad night you got cop blocked yeah all right Jesus Christ so uh when Huey long is in government uh he fires everyone like uh hundreds of anyone that was below him he fired clean house it's like a Elon Musk yeah Trump did that too with the yeah he just didn't hire people for the Departments and then he would uh he just brought in all of his friends anyone that like paid for his campaign they got jobs I like that even like fired uh there's a story of him firing a bridge toll operator because the guy was a friend of a senator that didn't like Huey Long great uh he was like he did all the [ __ ] and then but at the same time like got so many good bills passed because like there's no one to uh there's no opposition we need a real [ __ ] ruthless [ __ ] so for example he got free textbooks for kids in all the public schools come on the Catholics were all pissed off about it because they're because they sent all their kids to private schools so he was like well all right fine free textbooks for everyone so even the Catholics like hey Catholic school kids super Catholics oh yeah very the French thing right yeah French and Spanish yeah did you grow Catholic yeah I went to Catholic school but my parents are big old atheist hippies oh really yeah so you go to Catholic school because it was better yeah I was [ __ ] up and you know I went to a public school and it was a lot of racial tension and fights and whatever so my dad's like you're going to you're going to Catholic school no luckily oh yeah I had braces so they didn't want me around I've been this cute the whole time they want a piece of this they probably dressed the same absolutely I could see you holding books yeah my shorts were shorter I could do a picture of Wilfred dressed like a geisha yeah seducing the brothers and the fathers [Laughter] oh man he uh rated gambling dens and brothels he confiscated 25 000 for government funds so back the money back then yeah it's a you multiply all the money by 20. that would that would equal whatever's happening 20 22. can I ask when you were growing up I feel like there used to be this reputation that there was brothels and like sex shows and things like that oh yeah they were there but were they legal uh they were illegal like it was allowed to happen yeah yeah it was like we were three years ago exactly exactly also from what I gather you kind of could be gay in New Orleans a long time ago big gay scene really oh yeah we always said my mom you know they were super liberals it was always like super flamboyant gay guys at the house and partying and dinner but even if you watch like you know if you watch JFK that movie by Oliver Stone if you watch Interview with a Vampire which is like 300 years prior to that there is this kind of undertone of like men being allowed to be gay and your vampires are pretty gay that's true yeah and they were long-haired hot Brad Pitt what's gonna happen are we gonna get hate crimes they're Immortal he constructed hella roads and bridges like after everything it was 9 700 miles of gravel roads or like cement roads Bridges said the first bridge over the Mississippi thousands of jobs he also like because of this he was creating thousands and thousands like infrastructure yes okay and this was during the Great Depression so no one was uh except for people in Louisiana um now he'd be like we gotta work on pronouns we need to get to work they need to get to work oh sorry yeah there were also these like fun corrupt [ __ ] that he did like he uh he wanted to get a new state capital for or a new Governor's Mansion um because Baton Rouge Capital right yeah yeah so he wanted a new Governor's Mansion because he thought it sucked he's the the floors creaked too much and realized that he had to go to like the Senate the state senate to get that passed so instead of doing that he went to the local prison and uh had like prisoners come and demolished the government yeah and so he was like well we got to make a new mansion now I don't know what happened I threw a party and then all of a sudden the house was gone yeah all right let's talk about breaking [ __ ] that's fun we were talking about destruction these guys probably got some anger at him yeah everything was in the pool and he also even uh there was this one I think the governor's mansion had a pool and but it wasn't the longest or the biggest pool in the U.S so he made people dig it up and then oh and the makeup I love it when guys are they just want something like to be the biggest that's my favorite one they'll just do absurd things too well he also like he tore down the state capital built a new one now it's the tallest state capitol there you go all right he's got an ego but he's using it to be good yeah sometimes they try to impeach him in 1929 which incited a brawl in uh the in Senate that's old school people were had brass knuckles and were fighting you know brass knuckles are a felony that's right really yeah if you punch somebody with brass knuckles they're like most certainly gonna yeah if you break like an orbital this bone right here this [ __ ] this arm I mean it's still like my strength which is is lag have you held brass knuckles it's a thin piece of metal it'll [ __ ] yeah yeah it'll [ __ ] you up yeah it'd be so funny if I like that High School ring oh yeah look at that it's a fake gold one oh yeah baby for you but yeah Ian got him at the airport they they put him in jail I really loved it yeah I would love to see the surveillance footage of Ian getting arrested at an airport yeah it was cigarette and mouth yeah and David tiller to get him out because he was opening for David tells the Dave's like come on man you're killing me that's [ __ ] brilliant yeah so when he got he got impeached he bribed 15 Senators to vote no so and because that's all that he needed and then 15 Senators voted no the reason why he got impeached actually was because he he created this five cent uh um tax per gallon for he hated this company Standard Oil and that goes back this is a guy that just holds a grudge when he was younger he invested in a in a well an oil well that struck oil and uh Standard Oil refused to use any of his oil so he just like ended up losing all that money so he's like [ __ ] this oil company forever it's like the only guy that struck oil and didn't make money yeah wow I think uh it was like he invested eighteen hundred dollars so whatever that is 33 36 000. and then all the money just went away I it's weird because I you know everybody knows that uh Louisiana is an oil State because of the Deepwater Horizon but I don't think we think of it in broader terms do you have friends that went to work on rigs oh yeah oh yeah rig pigs yeah they would go out there and you'd see you wouldn't see for like three months because they come back they're at sea but then they'd come back and you were like hey where'd you get the new uh F-150 and they're like we were out there you know and they're all calloused and tougher yeah yeah I met a guy my Uber driver back from your wedding to the airport was uh was like a former rig guy and he owned houses all over the country yeah like that it was [ __ ] great you ever play Edmonton oh yeah up and oh yeah they they're all rig Pig and they're all these [ __ ] moocs I have like a whole show I wrote about this oh really yeah because when when I would go up there before like I even moved to New York that was like the height of the oil boom these kids redneck from Alberta yeah [ __ ] weirdo from Newfoundland they'd make two hundred thousand dollars in six months yeah right and they had nothing they'd know it they were 18 years old and they just made 200 000 they thought they could they literally would have like a house jet skis snowmobiles and a pile of cocaine like they just yes yeah and then they come Heckle us and they hate Trudeau so much oh they hate Trudeau yeah I'll do a like a poll at my show you guys like Trudeau and it'll be like yeah I I started making fun of the Convoy the last time I was oh yeah and I got that it was when all the truckers who didn't want to get vaccinated went and drove their trucks in downtown Ottawa and I literally got in like screaming matches like the whole audience turning on me really but you know what I like about Calgary I I haven't played Edmonton a lot but Calgary I played a ton is there rednecks and they're conservative but you can like and I feel like this goes with most rednecks if they give you [ __ ] you can go oh shut the [ __ ] up you hillbilly and they're like all right you got me yeah they're fun that's a good club the comp last shot in two weeks I also love this the hotel's connected yeah I love just taking the elevator to the show that is not the best he also if you go hey I'm gonna come on Monday and leave next Wednesday he'll give you the room whoa yeah yeah we stayed long uh before we stayed like an extra day um to go to Banff but it was uh it was raining that day so I couldn't see any of the mountains yeah we went to that um hot springs the hot springs yeah a girl had a seizure and her titty fell out of her yeah yeah yeah that was cool that's a perk of a seizure perk for you but I just did the hot springs in Montana me and Andrew Youngblood beautiful Montana is it like Bozeman Montana is a [ __ ] awesome City great town did you the theater there I did the theater and two two shows one show was brutal it was just like ah you saw [ __ ] you [ __ ] egg and then the second show was amazing by the way this whole because Montana like banned Tick Tock is that right yeah I love it good for them I love it and and a bunch of like uh content creators are like you know trying to sue Montana I'm like get a [ __ ] job I would love it if Tick Tock got banned only because it's the only one I've never gotten any tracks well I want Tick Tock and and I want it all gone get rid of my wife's hooked she's like it's ruining our lives I'm like we're at dinner and she's like oh yeah look at this and I'm like put the [ __ ] phone down yeah talk to me I was talking with these people yesterday and I was like I just want to be able to read books again yeah and they're like just read a book I was like shut the [ __ ] up like you know we're all addicted right yeah I uh I've started reading to fall asleep it's like it's so weird how different if you're on Instagram at night you will not go to bed no you'll just sit there for hours you'll have 19 different emotions yeah jerk off you'll get jealous you get angry yeah I will laugh the harder like my new my Instagram is all just like uh now it's pimple popping stuff oh that's that's a dark road to go down yeah I got into that to what like the point where I was like medical grade oh yeah like where they're like cutting out blackheads that are 20 years old I'm a big geyser what do you call that yeah goiter yeah oh man there's like it's to the point where I I've got this idea where I because I want to pop a [ __ ] blackhead after I see those videos yeah so I go into the bathroom like ah [ __ ] my Skin's fine oh so I think you should there should be a dad as a permanent a permanent blackhead if I go annually and I check this one blackhead on his back it's like the size of a golf tee it's great yeah weird just fills right up once you do it for him I have done it but it feels gross because it's like I'm not doing it because I care about him I'm doing it because I'm getting some weird gross Fascination oh yeah then you give it a kiss from you you eat it yeah well one extra Europe yeah raised the blackhead you do a plus shot you're like [Laughter] um okay so Huey long is governor of Louisiana from 1928 to 1932. nice but 1929 he runs for Senate and uh and wins so he's both governor and Senator yeah wait American Senate not States yes okay yes that's impressive but he doesn't go to take his senate seat until 32 because he's promises that he's going to finish out his term okay so two years he's not in the Senate he's a senator but he's not going to Washington yeah interesting the good old days when you could just not show up for work for two years right and when he came to like DC he was like not like Meek at all of course he's a loudmouth just like like uh he would put his like drink on the you know the desk of the Oval Office and called he never called uh FDR Mr President he called him Frank yeah FDR hated him he criticized uh Herbert Hoover a lot uh and he helped FDR lock in the uh the southern vote look he was beloved in the south uh would he be kind of the quintessential dixiecrat is a southern Democrat which is kind of an older version of democrat where they were more working class yeah focused and then they also were more conservative he was known as a populist yeah um so he was like very for the people but then simultaneously people call him a demagogue because he was for the people and not for the system right right so we had to be for the people [ __ ] the system well he started this uh try to start this thing called uh the share our wealth plan so this is a very cool in my mind which is uh the share our wealth plan had all these uh bills that were attached to it and one of them was that um he was going to cap uh everyone's earnings at one million dollars so 20 million dollars this year so you uh the most money you can make is one million dollars in a year uh you can only inherit five million dollars um everyone's individual private wealth was capped at 50 million dollars see this is a thing that I've thought about which is I I wrote a bit about it which is I don't think a person should be able to have more than 100 million dollars I agree what is the uh what is the reason for that like Jeff Bezos has what something trillion dollars oh is it is it true I think he's at points when Amazon stocks been up at a certain level he's had a trillion dollars okay he's the first trillionaire got it and I think like obviously the argument from a capitalist side is like that you should have this money because then that allows the market to dictate what we need and growth and you know like obviously he's going to do it better than some bureaucratic institution but the problem is is that there's so many people that will never have a chance to make that kind of money that need that kind of money the system needs that kind of money I mean America is in shambles at the moment our infrastructure is cumbering uh we have no manufacturing jobs our Health Care Systems decrepit um we have borrowed most of our money from like different entities like money is essentially fake you know there's more uh Youtubers with a million followers than there are like coal miners interesting I think I might be making this up no that that would probably but there's like 22 000 Youtubers with over a million followers there can't be that many coal miners left yeah like West Virginia and Kentucky but I mean it's just like that's I I think that what are you gonna do with more than 100 million dollars but what if he made a trillion and then gave like 50 billion to the country like to solve these problems I mean I think he should but most of these guys don't pay taxes yeah uh that's the thing like really I don't know I think that's a myth no because it's like you can just write it off like because Jeff Bezos can go I have a trillion dollars but I lost this much in stocks at a certain point so I can write that off you're allowed to write off all your losses uh also the way that you do it is uh Jeff Bezos employs himself and he only makes like seventy thousand dollars um where everything else is in assets and then you can't he's as long as you don't sell the stock then you don't get taxed on it and then like Amazon also like he can leverage his wealth so he doesn't actually have to this is the smartest we've sounded yeah and then on top of that um you know every time he builds an Amazon go store that's you know if it costs a million dollars to put an Amazon store in the middle of Times Square he doesn't have to pay a million dollars of infrastructure so every single one of those 20 million dollar fulfillment centers every single truck that's all tax write-offable yeah right so all of his income looks like it's being countered versus this giant amount of growth when in reality he's just profiting oh wow it's like when I donate a bag of clothes yeah and all of a sudden I put that on my taxes at one thousand dollars worth of underwear um so this is what the share wealth plan was so he was going to Cap all that wealth and this is what was going to happen by capping all that wealth which is uh every household was gonna get a five thousand dollar Grant hey that's so much money yeah so it's a hundred thousand dollars that's what that would have been Bowen yeah Chang oh that's a wang damn it he was gonna give a universal basic income of uh two to three thousand dollars uh damn free college and vocational training hey a 30-hour work week this guy's [ __ ] killing it we need to get his DNA and rebuild him um federal assistance to Farmers and Universal Health Care look at this this is insane he's like so he was trying to get this all into um FDR's the New Deal a little bit of it like somebody did make it in because so the second new deal we were the closest we ever were to like quasi-socialism during the second new deal yeah and and he completely edited the New Deal uh because of this they uh all of America was like [ __ ] yeah I want that and then so he FDR like adjusted things to address all of these issues but nowhere near what he was trying to do yeah what a badass yeah does this all scare you as a wealthy man who has to pay taxes these kind of do you think about that yet not at all just living in New York and then my reps take 20 then I have to pay a lawyer then I pay a money guy so I'm getting screwed either way I'm so inept because like I've always not made enough money and or it's been under the table or I just had a job that took taxes out but this year I made a lot of money and I didn't it was all 10.99 and I am terrified to see what that number is oh it's a big chunk they take for taxes it's gonna be it's gonna be an argument you know sometimes yeah um I think about how I don't know anything about taxes um and like I don't really either and how to manage the money and I think actually think about you and I'm like well Mark's got it figured out yeah I just have a money guy who does all the comedians so he knows how to you know do some loopholes yeah but so I always go if Mark can figure it out I can at least hire that same guy but now they're taking a chunk of taxes and I'm like that's more than I used to make in a year or two oh yeah that's what's crazy are you um this was like 17 000 yeah eight grand are you at the point yet where your money's making money I mean obviously you have you have a little you have the whiskey company got the whiskey that's cooking but now I'm I got a 401k I'm doing the rep Roth IRA I don't know what any of it means but they go we need 20 grand for this and I go ah just do it just do it and it'll hopefully pay off in 30 years so you're just hoping that you have people yeah that you are trusting yeah know what they're doing I hope they could be screwing me they could be just skimming a little off here and there and I would never know um so he uh the Huey long does all this [ __ ] like but uh he got assassinated uh at the state capitol bullet will instill on that in the pillar yeah he got assassinated he got assassinated oh he got killed he got killed oh okay uh no there was there was multiple attempts on his life or there was just uh there's the one really good one okay the one the guy nailed it yeah they took a few shots there's all there's actually all these these mysteries about who actually killed him because there's like uh they initially it was like that they thought that the bullet had just gone through them um so it went like in and out but then they found a bullet in there um afterwards there's also Shooters they also said that like uh the guy's name was Carl Weiss he was a physician uh a doctor killed him yeah um he's like I don't want to lose my copay yeah right oh yeah good point look at this nerd Carl Weiss uh what so there's like so he was killed yes dude uh so Huey Long had like wait he was shot 61 times yeah oh firing squad no from Huey Long Boys in that moment shot him 61 Times Holy and clear that's not good yeah that's another thing is they don't know why he did this he's 28 too pretty young yeah as a kid because it said right there that his son that was the death obit for his son right there the New York Times Carl's Weiss Jr wow yeah there's all these Mysteries there's a lot of people that like wonder if the doctors were actually who killed them because he went to the hospital oh interesting like they're like maybe there was intentional malpractice it is a very obvious answer there's also questions about like whether or not Huey Long's bodyguards killed him because they were maybe there were multiple they're two bullet holes is there any um conspiracy that thinks it might have been the US government like a larger I think he was so disruptive I think it was like I mean I don't know where the ideas would have originated it could have originated at like FDR or the Standard Oil company or something but it eventually got to Carl Weiss and or his I think if you're a politician and you get any kind of traction on well sharing you are bound to die yeah true like if Trump went in there and he was like yeah we're gonna raise well I think it's too late acts he'd be like dead and I think you find another way to like Bernie they just shut him down it's like another way to be to be killed but I think as opposed to power like if Biden all of a sudden was re-elected and then he was like actually I'm gonna do all this [ __ ] he would mysteriously you know he would just have a heart attack from like a ray gun or something he'd fall slip on a rug yeah oh he's dead oh no we all knew he was he slipped in the bathtub right right that would be funny if he came out with a Life Alert you know he was just giving a speech and he had the the necklace yeah [Laughter] he died nobody would go like but how no no okay yeah well obviously that's the big joke he's the first president to be assassinated by time yeah that's somebody's been oh man I saw a great uh dancing Jermaine bit the other day about um Biden's presidency is like when you find out that your dad can't fight oh I don't know I'm butchering the bit but I haven't seen Dan for so long I think I was just excited I saw that I saw the that clip I'm at the point now I don't watch anyone's Clips no no it's all it's too many Clips but I like them because you're my buddy or yesterday I was scrolling and I don't know what happened in the algorithm all of a sudden it was literally nine in a row tour posters yeah oh yeah but when we follow comedians so yeah it's gonna be promo all day it's just Comedians and heavy breasted Mediterranean women oh I got the same feed yeah it's trouble and Norm Macdonald and I have a lot of babies now because my phone here's to be talking about babies dude are you logged into my YouTube because I looked at my YouTube and it was like baby stuff it's literally probably me and you talking about babies near your phone yeah because I love it was on my TV like on my TV it was like you know uh it was whoever sang uh that like Baby Shark Song they were like searching for that and then some other baby [ __ ] we are not searching for baby shark we're searching for like we we've been watching a lot of babies like fall that's like a me and Rose would share a lot of questions a whole page of kids getting hurt yeah it's called kids getting hurt it's the it's a great Instagram no no you guys want kids right yeah a couple years say so but everybody's having them it seems like you list but when you have them like uh pull out your phone and hit it with a two by four oh it's awesome yeah it is it is my whole everything being fed to me now is is baby stuff it's pretty interesting I'm gonna be the one parent though that's not gonna show people my kid because everybody go oh you got to see them and I'm like yeah it's just a fat kid you know what to say well I think there's a big thing with our celebrity friends not posting their kids now I don't think I would because I think like if you look at uh Ali Wong Moshe and Natasha they don't show their kids oh really but they just cover it up they do like a blur or they put a star or something like that I hate that I don't know like my friend does that she's just a teacher in Denver yeah I'm like who cares what your kid looks like she's not she's five years old I get it yeah the celebrity makes sense not your friend in Denver that's [ __ ] dumb yeah nobody cares about your dumb ugly kid right but I mean even that I think even the celebrity thing I'm like what what does it matter it's a five-year-old's face yeah I don't know I think I think they're afraid that people are gonna like masturbate to them I don't know maybe kidnap I don't know I don't know I'm not sure I guess you don't know if I if it's like you know you just put a Emoji over their face then no one knows who to kidnap but I think it's also the kid can't consent to being public do you do you have you had a have you had a pregnancy scare with a one-night stand oh yeah and did you have you ever had to do the please will you get an abortion yes yes and oh really I paid for one uh in Midtown we had to get one nice yeah never star again who's at these Studios yeah yeah I don't uh I there's a couple people out there that could surprise me with their child but I don't think I don't think they are they were keeping it I never had a pregnancy scare really maybe you got no uh sperm yeah I mean nothing does come out yeah just yeah yeah this is bang on a flag my and me and my ex went no contraceptive for three years I was just pulling out you know what's crazy is until I got my first divorce I always [ __ ] with condoms always and then I started having sex unprotected because I was like [ __ ] it we're gonna die someday and I cannot believe I spent my 20s wearing a condom I know you got good willpower yeah it was I mean I did it a couple times but it was like it wasn't like it should have been because as a 30 year old just having raw sex I can I it's like literally like I it was like I drove in like a low gear for my entire and I was yeah and I had a Porsche it feels like I uh didn't have sex with this lady if I had sex yeah yes economy does feel like alien now oh yeah and the ladies love to rip them off yeah I don't know if that's common now but uh there's been a lot of lasers all right all right what must feel gross to them dude I have like slimy plastic in them I guess yeah I don't know it's a piece of garbage dildo yeah that's true it's a sleeve um so it looks like we've covered is there any is there any um kind of well a posthumous uh Huey Newton yeah black panther oh yeah after Huey Long how do you like that all right yeah was he from New Orleans I don't know I don't think so I think he's from the Bay Area yeah I think he is too um but yeah named after hewan long like uh I watched uh the this Ken Burns documentary about him uh about Huey Long made in the 80s so it was all these like poor people from like uh you know the sticks of Louisiana they're like oh that that calm down love that guy yeah that's pretty good yeah I was I've been working on it he uh Huey Long had this once uh I watched the speech where he was like talking about how everyone has all this wealth so it's like it's like if someone went to the barbecue and took food for nine people you'd be like that goddamn bad game better get here and get that food back looks like this guy he's so fun he's a fun he's full of life one thing that was fun about your wedding was we went to your parents Museum oh your mom's Museum yeah and uh it's a food Museum like a Southern food Museum and I didn't get a chance to go but they had a life-size replica of like what do you call those like it's not a road house it's like a shack yeah what do you call that I got a barbecue shack or a shrimp shack and it's like out in the bayou and you like you like it's just like a [ __ ] primitive building that everybody just knows locally is like the best barbecue or something right yeah oh so it's like a real barbecue yeah real restaurant you know they only take cash when you said replica I was like oh it's just going no they built one in the middle of the museum so you could kind of see what it's like because you can't there's not one like in New Orleans it's like when you go to a Chinese restaurant and it's like they like made plastic versions of the food yeah yeah no they definitely had a lot of that because they had all the replicas of the food that you can get in the South oh yeah yeah would you just like Wax make them or something I think he knows I didn't do it I I hate the museum I've been forced to go a thousand times has that been in your life like your whole no my my I mean my brother moved out my mom's like finally I can do my dream of having a food Museum where the hell is that and then she just kept it going and now it's pretty good successful it's huge it's fun and there's like uh how does that become a dream of yours well she's a big foodie [ __ ] she's a cook she has eight cookbooks she's obsessed with food and cooking the thing is like I feel like food in New Orleans is like a good cigar or like scotch or something like that where it's like oh you haven't tried etouffee until you've gone to this place and like he's making it with this kind of Roux and it's like it's just another [ __ ] level yeah it's like the wine people obsess with wine you know they're like sniffing it that's how they are with food oh yeah yeah but I think I never believe those wine people I don't either I think they're full of [ __ ] there's a documentary about that what's that that hot Asian guy he's like a wine grifter and he's going around [Laughter] and uh he's going around sniffing it and all this and uh they finds out he's full of [ __ ] is that really Soma maybe give it a goog there uh Autumn the wine guy it's a huge dock on Netflix I think it is I can't remember the name of it though but the guy was totally a fraud sour cream all right is that it is that it that's it oh he's an Indonesian too that's the one oh yeah you can't trust those guys yeah but they seem like they know their [ __ ] because you're like oh he's ethnic well yeah he has powers if you say anything with one of the smarter accents then you get away but here's the thing about it is it's red flags already it's Indonesian Muslim country dry country come on get out of here the thing is if anyone says anything in a Filipino accent I kind of don't believe them oh really unless it's like where to get your tires cheap can you do the accident I don't know that accident no oh well I was listening to uh I always wanted to do it I know and I'm not I'm not good at it unless because his parents his whole family has the accent oh really yeah I was doing the Manny Pacquiao Sometimes When We Touch yeah the honesty is too much yeah that's pretty good it sounds exactly like what he did this is actually a prideful moment for you and I was proud of it too was a guy who is a dog walker in my neighborhood stopped me and he said hey man I love the new podcast Filipino guy that was you what yeah Filipino guy from Queens not like a not like a Filipino comic or anything the hottest Asia I think Filipino the Asian ladies yeah yeah no the guys too ladyboys yeah when we transition yeah totally oh yeah that's a smooth transition I don't know about because I I've never been like a fetishizer of I mean I definitely like Mediterranean women me too um I went down a rabbit hole of like Korean porn and that really that sent me on a whole it made me evaluate everything not blurred north of South [Laughter] no because here's the thing Korea is what a lot of people don't know is it's like they have a fascination with Anglo like qualities so they all get plastic surgery yeah and they all like all those K-pop groups all of them have been kind of manufactured to have around our eyes whoa more prominent noses and so they're doing the titties they're doing the whole thing okay yeah all right can we pull up some Korean Ops just pull up black pink black pink okay there's also like I personally can't tell the difference between any of them I can't really either I mean if this is like your like this is your basis for we're gonna need to be yeah that's a picture of me on the left yeah yeah but you know what I mean like they're just so they've had work done they're having work done they all went to do you know about the Korean pop School no no so there's a they go to school to be pop stars really like there's an academy where they like go through all this [ __ ] and then uh well it's funny because all these groups have like they literally have like some of the groups have 15 members oh yeah damn it's because you can't tell the difference between uh there's only three singers just two mirrors on the other side wow nine people singing in units wow yeah but they have these like academies they're like it's like a military type uh like upbringing you get sent and then you learn how to be a pop star well you still have to you have to go to the military in Korea really yeah it's still two years like Israel Israel Norway uh there's a couple other ones where it's mandatory but there's a famous soccer player named sun minhan and he had to go do his he had to stop playing soccer for a year to go do his uh his uh yeah he had to stop being a millionaire yeah wow but I think they just let him kick balls against like a gymnasium wall right right because he's like the pride of Korea it's like Elvis they made him go what's your porn search I'm a MILF guy but I I get random like I just go through the the latest this is the thing I just I I never almost ever go into the search it takes me like three Scrolls I go to the uh categories and then I just go big tits or something really yeah I love it and then I go random from that I love the threesome where it's another lady and the younger lady I don't like a threesome at all oh really the mom died at all I don't want that I want because first of all it's all so unbelievable to me like I'm not gonna get two like who do I think I am good you're single you live in Bushwick that's where it's happening this is all about fantasy it's not what's gonna happen here's the thing I also can't like I I'm at the point now where I can't watch black porn yeah I can't either because I'm like that's not me okay I can watch the women yeah I can't watch it it always it can do that I feel racist but I never won a black dick in my porn I'm with you so it's not even takes my fantasy in my mind it's not the dick it's that like dicks only like she if she's [ __ ] that guy she's not trying to [ __ ] me wow so I need to find like a like loser uh and that's and then he gets laid somehow got it and that's what's gonna do it that was one thing that I wish I would have done there was two porn stars in uh when I was living in La that like tried to tried to take me home like hit me up DM me kind of thing and I was just like it seems a little dangerous it's intimidating I've never well you I I went on there scroll and they're getting like gang banged by a bunch of like you know Giants and I'm like what am I gonna do yeah exactly well have you seen that uh Louisiana based porn with the big black guy named gooey long no no how long have you been sitting on that it's all [ __ ] and it's all filled Beignets yeah you know what those compilation is big for me too just because you can get a lot in one go you know what I like that I only did for a while a girl that I was dating right when I got divorced this is actually cute too is uh I lost my virginity to her 18 years old never had sex with her again the second I got divorced founder in New York and we started banging again oh that's cool that's a beautiful story yeah it was great it lasted for about uh I don't know a couple months but we had some good gross sex and she took put me onto Tumblr porn which was gifts it was a lot of gifts interesting so you would just see like it would just be like one shot of a lady on top bouncing yeah oh yeah that's not what I thought like [ __ ] there's a little bit where I was jerking off to Tumblr and it was just girls like like blogging about like their sex life and then putting up pictures oh that's hot yeah have you seen the uh I think it's China where it's a woman delivering news at a desk with you know Big Clock behind her she got the papers and a guy's just standing on either side [ __ ] on her and she keeps reading the news so she's like today uh on the subway two men were attacked and just squirts is it real news I yeah there's all that Asian porn where it's like a girl sitting on a bus and then like three guys molest her and then oh wow and then she starts sucking him off and there's like it's a full bust yeah I don't like the I don't like the punishy stuff I don't even know that yeah I also have a big thing I don't want her eyes I don't like the um if a guy seems too much of a sleaze bag you know like if a guy like there's a there's one porn actor that's like really muscular and he's got horrible tattoos yeah and I I don't have a problem with the way he [ __ ] it's just it's like I'm like I'm like making sure my [ __ ] wallets in my pocket right right yeah I'm with you and nothing worse when they cut to the guy's face yeah you're feeling good you're getting a good rhythm going and the guy's like yeah that's why like that's when you're about to know yeah exactly yeah I like reverse I almost always am straight to reverse cowgirl on a couch so that I just I don't see any of him you know right right fun fact you know what the most watched body part on a woman in porn is take a guess boobs all right that's what I thought I'm gonna guess back base we like to see the girl's face see how she's reacting enjoying not enjoying in ecstasy or or turned on or the eyes uh whatever interesting to see what the gays were liking I'd say behold it's just gonna give me a straight shot of the butthole well there's so much it's just like that it's just one camera and then the guy's like doing other work yeah do you feel old now when you see stuff like uh there's like stuff like uh I've seen people tweet like show whole that's like a tweet that like gay guys will send each other and I think that it's been adapted by the straights that are like you know brooklyny bushwicky people fluid if you're gonna send me a picture show whole type of thing you know whoa but I I go we're not even gonna like dance around you right right literally no one in the world has seen my butthole a doctor no doctor what I have not seen my butthole whoa yeah all right Autumn get the camera out yeah yeah I don't think my butthole looks nice no and I've never taken a close look but it's hairy I got a hairy butthole it's every once in a while oh I never had a ham I've had a bloody wipe but I've had it definitely had that I think I have a ham because I have a um a bidet and sometimes it hurts one time I was one time I was having sex with a gal and uh doggy style and I looked down I saw her butthole and there was what I thought was poop coming out of it it was a hemorrhoid whoa waving at you but I stopped having sex with her to be like I think you got a I think you got some poop and she's like no that's a hemorrhoid and I was like oh okay well this is gonna be hard to yeah slide back in but did you try to pop it like your dad's back uh so uh it's been about an hour what's uh you got anything to plug I know you got a big tour coming up big tour going to Australia I don't know when this comes out but I'll be there most of June Sydney Perth Brisbane Auckland you know uh Perth is an eight-hour flight from Sydney oh maybe they'll do some routing where it'll be it might be six but it's like literally this is that big wow I think it's it's pretty much the exact same size as the United States oh I didn't know that can you Google uh flight time uh Sydney to Perth so you're going to Australia you're going Australia but then when I come back I got a hot theater tour cooking yeah five and change yeah hot theater tour what's called you don't say I'm going everywhere back in theaters and I got a Netflix coming out in July so hopefully oh yeah record it at the Vic Theater in Chicago right you got that right two podcasts Tuesdays with stories uh we might be drunk and then uh do you plug Parks project or is that just that's a wild [ __ ] show we're going back next week I'm getting one in before Australia I think we're gonna do Molly what's Parks project our parks where me Gillis and Oregon Rogan and just get [ __ ] housed and say crazy stuff it's wildly popular so you're all popular dudes is it crazy I mean I haven't talked to you about this much because we haven't had a moment is it crazy to have gotten to the level of Comedy that you're at now because you love comedy you love comedy more than anybody I think I've ever met oh wait all right well I I like this level though I don't know if I want to go higher like where Segura is at to me that's freaks me out I like you're not that far from it yeah he's doing Arenas but if you're not that far from Arenas because you're doing like 1500s right yeah but I well keep it here okay but what about like personal like you roaming around New York like it's not you get oh you can recognize it which is I love it I don't want it to be I don't want to get mob at an airport or Paparazzi that that's it do you like it just being the stand-up in the podcasting or do you want to do the hosting or the no interest no interest I can't act I don't want to write a movie I'll be in a dumb movie you know if if one of us got a movie I'd love to be in it like a David hobo role yeah you know that's all I want but some of the best roles yeah it's like Adam Adam McKay and uh other guys yes oh yeah perfect example that's a great you just we will be back yeah bunny Cameo and I'll get out but like pitching shows and like I pitched a show at it and it almost got there and it was so grueling in time it took like two and a half years and I'm just no one bought it I'm just gonna put it online the thing I hate about the the pitching of the shows is that so many shows are bad and they put them on and then they act like they can't you know they act like it's this big deciding thing and when it comes down to it it's just like it's literally just like do we want to work with you the idea is does that that's really it at all because it's so weird and with you it's probably like networks being like uh he said some things in the past sure you know and it's true it's so dumb because does that still matter I don't know because I think it's getting a lot yeah but I think that's just pure numbers wise I think yeah also they would still try to ignore him if he was I mean has like I feel like gills could run for president right like Louie won the [ __ ] Grammy or whatever the [ __ ] yeah that's my secret ballot secret voting yeah but I it's like isn't it over that's how I feel uh I don't think it's I don't think it was just on the Rolling Stone cover Julia is being investigated by the FBI that's wild I do think that that's a different case though sure sure it's not something he said that's a good point I think there'll still be some cancellations but I think we're beyond the point of it's weird I think that canceling has changed like because I'm around my wife who is pregnant and she is really involved in real like just obsessed with reality same with mine and you've been hearing about this Vanderpump thing oh my gosh they're Super Bowl what this guy from Vanderpump has for the entire time the show has been on has been cheating on his girlfriend with another cast member and nobody knew and it just came out during the the filming of this last season huge and it's like it's it's literally probably getting more coverage than a lot of political stuff yeah oh yeah you know like I think more people know that Tom Sandoval cheated than they know who RFK Jr is no more like who the player of China is you know like yeah yeah yeah and uh I don't even know his Premiere yeah what it's called I think it's I thought it's the president yeah whatever it is right it might be Premiere I don't know I think did you pull it up sister I think it's Xi Jinping yeah you nailed it Xi Jinping I just [ __ ] that up it's so uh Paramount leader caramel leader the reason why I know it is it's like pandang where it's like that's such a funny name yeah yeah yeah that's so goofy and racist sounding right right it really is the spoon down the stairs the oldest joke in the book but I've never heard that you've never heard that no oh that's the oldest joke that's how they named their kids yes they throw silverware down the stairs and it's like ding dong but see this is what I mean about what we were just talking about like I think somebody sees this that's exactly what that joke we just made is exactly what yeah chain got canceled for yeah completely but when when but make sure I'm on screen yes laughing at that yeah that's one thing like uh when I was in LA all these people were like oh Shane Gillis all the Asian Comics like oh Shane gills he sucks and I was like Shane's a good guy hey that was that's something you know them they don't yeah so it's easy to go he sucks he sucks and you're like I know the guy I know the guy when I talk to him yeah I feel like that thing is that part of cancer culture is over but I think um there's a weird thing happening now where people I think are gonna get canceled for cheating on their spouses yeah there was something that happened recently I'm trying to think of who it was where somebody oh the guys from the um the try guys oh that was a big one like I got fired for [ __ ] [ __ ] his uh [ __ ] around on his wife but it hurts when he's like a good wholesome their whole brand was wholesale clean fun loving you know Christian boys and then it's like Ellen anybody could be a [ __ ] but if you're a [ __ ] who pretends to be nice yeah you're [ __ ] that is actually why I thought uh Louis was going to get a little bit more of a pass because he was already that Dirtbag because he's a dirt bag on stage so he's just being like why no one expected him to be like pristine but he's very liberal like he was like a Hillary guy an Obama guy you know that's the thing that that's the type of guy I am I'll give money to I I say this on stage so please don't think I'm trying to recycle material but like I've been trying to talk about how I'm like I'll give money to the refugees and the trans kids like I want all of them to but I also when I saw a lot of the Ukrainian refugees I was like those are some hot ladies there yeah oh yeah you know what I mean still a human being yeah like I'm I'm still a piece of [ __ ] but I have good values you know what I mean and that's like the thing that bothers me because like I know all these people that are like you know like the girl that tried to like uh cancel Shane again oh yeah yeah brought her up like I know her she's like a bad person that's a lot of it I've noticed have you heard of moral licensing that term no you know it's uh this term where you do a bunch of good [ __ ] so you feel subconsciously that you're allowed to get away with evil [ __ ] they said people who buy Priuses actually are meaner drivers or after you vote for Obama you're like well I vote for Obama so now I can actually uh it's just human nature I like feel that because I was a social worker for years and so I'm like I can say whatever the [ __ ] I want on stage yeah you're doing the Lord's work but that's like the thing like I mean it's like you go to the South you go to some room where [ __ ] 95 of the people voted for Trump and you get on stage and you start talking about being a liberal and all this stuff and they might give you some [ __ ] but they'll still [ __ ] around with you and also like in Dallas if I walk around Dallas you know everybody's probably diametrically opposed to me right but they're going to be so [ __ ] nice yeah I go to San Francisco where everybody agrees with everything some lady's gonna be like I don't [ __ ] care if you have to you know like it's like that it's the Iran irony because it's not very inclusive you know like we all talk about inclusive and diversity everyone has to think exactly the same way and if you don't we'll ruin you that's not very consider it not very low it's very illiberal yeah it's it's uh everything I think that though what you're talking about like with canceling being over I think we are kind of as a society like we want to get back to having fun I think we're annoyed it it's like well if you look at comedy sales I mean true absurd true if do you like the if you think about it every single night of the weekend one of our friends is selling out a theater in a city right right like Tim Dillon is insanely popular yeah you know and as much as you know people He's a Bully he's the conservative he's this he's not being the right kind of gay he sells out everywhere he's doing fine yeah and even those people I mean a lot of times those people will be like uh I don't you know like uh it'd be people that probably are like pretty homophobic but they still liked him right and Tim's talking about sucking [ __ ] on the [ __ ] pod good point so I think we're the ones because I you know I've never heard a conservative be like I can't watch that TV show because I heard this person voted you know what I mean light stuff though true but it feels like that's forced they're like you can't force this [ __ ] but I think if you like Bud Light just drink the [ __ ] beer I also think that those [ __ ] are still buying whatever the beer they can afford also you know what's the name of the trans person you think I think I'm so right all right don't tell Chrissy mayor you really think she's hot I think so there she is yeah she's all right absolutely still got the dong though she looks like tennis shoes yeah she's not post-op no no still donging what is her thing with techruz I used to date no I think he he oh he's after her okay yeah um all right well we should cut out all the Huey Long parts of this yeah I was shocked you guys want to do like we could hang let's hang this is a weird homework yeah because it's the podcast we didn't just do that for you but you know they have like they say if you're gonna sell merch you gotta sell merch that you would wear yeah would you guys want to listen that's the whole thing about this part is that I know a absurd amount of a little bit about it I never have to stick with this yeah you could have told us to [ __ ] off at the beginning of the episode and we would have never said anything I didn't want to be mean yeah but we got a little info in there like we've forced uh Mary Kay Letourneau on um the whole time she was like I don't want to talk yeah we were like you [ __ ] kids Caitlyn oh update update I've been reached out to by my friend's husband was twice a student of Mary Kaylee oh yeah I saw that so I want to have a maybe a patreon episode in a little bit where we uh interview him where does he live Seattle let's go to Seattle there we go Hometown Heroes anything else you want to pug uh that'll do it uh socials are Mark Norman Mark Norman and Mark Norm on Twitter and uh yeah that's about it thanks folks pray I'll see you in hell thank you for comedy [Music]

Channel: The Known Zone

Views: 9,198

Keywords: the known zone, comedy, comedy podcast, known zone, andy haynes, wilfred padua, mark normand, we might be drunk, huey long, louisiana, democracy, gotham production studios

Id: PogjEx-UL1g

Length: 76min 48sec (4608 seconds)

Published: Tue Jun 06 2023