Give it a shot! You won’t regret it! | Rida Tharana | TEDxYouth@NPSKRM

[Music] hi everybody how many of y'all know me though raise your hands that's it we're gonna follow me after i mean you're all following me after we're done with this okay so my name is radha tarana um you've all got my introduction and the topic that was given to me was reach beyond uh so one of the things that i had in my head was what's what's reached me on exactly it's it's objective for sure some of you is like i just want to go back home and sleep that's reaching beyond for you some of them really want to have a settle life sit in a nice place have your own house at a beach that's reaching beyond some of you just finishing your education being financially independent some of you have stronger stories which can keep changing the aspect of reaching beyond so now here i'll just quickly talk about me where i come from what i do and how exactly did i reach me on right so i'm 23 years old i come from coorg and i come from a very small village we were the first girls to be sent to a convent school luckily and we were also the first girls to be kind of sent forth and put forth to be like okay i really want my daughters to study and be financially independent so my father was really supportive then i don't know what happened now but he was then so we were the first girls to be sent to common schools and i was really good at my studies and but you're not really pushed you know the toppers are usually selected okay you're a topper so you're exceptionally good at everything you're average so i'm gonna push you a little more and if you are somebody who's just doing okay then you know what take a back seat but that's the best part you have so much more to offer than what you think you can do right not everyone's good at studies but you're good at so many more things that who the person who's good at studying might not be good at now this generation we're not just checking up to i want to be a doctor i want to be an engineer or have a settled financial status where i'm getting money on a regular basis but we follow passion someone's a dancer earning really well somebody's a content creator somebody's out there traveling and living their life somebody's out there with a business and entrepreneurs technologies and a lot more of stuff you know these small businesses that boom during covid we never thought something like that would be possible we never thought something like that could work and that's exactly what i will be discussing about or as to how you can be yourself and dream bigger and it should it doesn't really have to stick to what society has taught you or the societal norm of this is the dictionary i give you and if you follow this is when you are going to get live the so-called life that you're looking for so uh the idea was very simple i went to a convent school i was in class 10th we were all sitting together all my girls are together we're doing the signature i'm not sure if you do this okay so fanciest my father had the fanciest signature still copied i'd still copy it um every time i'd feel like okay i've scored something low like okay and i know how to sign so i just signed that but everyone sitting together they're like we need to come up with a nice signature is it cool we should really sit down and get a nice signature when they sat down they all had fancier signatures the s looked like a dragon and the r was flying up high and the fanciest a of all and now when it came to my name i just wrote my name it was r-i-d-a t-h-a-r-a-n they said your kids are gonna copy and i said okay just thinking of kids i'm sorry that was not in my head i was actually thinking that i'm going to be reaching at a position someday where somebody is going to come and say oh i think i need your autograph and when i write that i want them to know my name you guys i manifested that last year 2020 uh 2021 i was at a mall i was hosting a show and i remember this one person coming to me with a beautiful book that they genuinely love and they said i admire you i love what you make and there's so many things that has changed for me when they reach out to me they don't say oh you look pretty you're wearing a nice stress they say i was able to say no i could stand up and say i wanted to do this no i don't want to marry this early i want to be able to conquer this or conquer that that's not exactly the job i would want for my gender i want to experiment and explore and i gave my first signature it was my name it was nothing fancy it was just my name so as i kept going uh there were a lot of hurdles that came my way so then i planned i'm gonna take biotech and genetics because that was the only course that was not available in cool and the only way that i could get out of that place if it were not the case i'd be giving a ted with two of my kids right beside me so the deal was to get out of that place no matter what so um i took by i took science i was studying there in court still and then i somehow convinced my parents okay you know what i really have to go do this it's very good scope india is gonna be amazing genetics is what i'm gonna be i don't know how i convince my parents but i did convince them but they said we don't have the money for this though what are you gonna do about this i am not going to pay this because practically everyone there were engaged at the age of 16 and at the age of 18 guys i'm 23 and this still happens so if you are at a place where this does not happen this is what i want to do open up your bubble and understand that most of the people still struggle to get their education and their education is basically uh just to be on an invitation of your wedding and not the dreams the amount of investment that you put on your sons is not the same that you would put on your daughter and that's what i want to change and that's what i want to go for and then i said okay i'll take the loan i'll take the loan and that's when i realized the schools didn't teach me about banks it didn't teach me about interest it didn't teach me about taxes it didn't teach me about the basics that i would require to be there i go on to the bank i say i want a student loan um they tell me about the interest 13 13 is a nice number it's okay i guess who knows 13 percent would be acquired over a larger sum so i said it's cool i took uh three lakhs as the loan i convinced my parents i said you do not have to give me anything right i would sit down and pray to god you don't have to do any just send me to bangalore i'll figure it out i need to get out of this place no matter what so i moved out that was the only time my parents ever came to bangalore to drop me a hostel that was my dad and he's never never come to visit us after that i mean not that he doesn't want to he checks on me every time but he's like she'll take care of it so um that happened my parents were in a financial crunch it didn't really work out for them and that's when i got into emceeing i got into events i was 17 i desperately needed the money i needed 2 000 rupees for my mess fee and i was okay with veg i went on started with working i i used to go to events i would see how they worked i would see mz speaking i was not good at speaking at all i would stutter i didn't know how to speak how to address a crowd what would i do do i look good enough and obviously we live in a sexist industry let's just not deny that you know that uh this role is particularly based with this gender this role might suit this gender and right now is when the diversity is coming into picture and the industry was the same as well we need tall pretty cute straight hair and all of that as the preference all the time now we didn't leave we're like no we're gonna go we'll try no matter what so the term we i use is i had a lot of people at that time aware of my support so i always like to address it as we and not i okay so we would just do it and um i started hosting my first event didn't go well second bad third stuttering structuring all the way along fourth fifth no now imagine as a normal person would i not give up at three third third try i'd be like this is not my cup of tea fifth yes but no i did not because i was earning 800 as a promoter but i was earning 2000 as an mc which would lead me to i could just get my mess fee paid and i would be able to invest my time on my records and my studies as every every other students did that they had pocket monies coming in they would go to really fancy restaurants you're living in bangalore come on for those three years every saturday sunday i'd be at a mall or at a corporate show hosting an event making sure that i'm getting enough money coming through midway i stopped taking the loan so i stopped taking at two lakhs i started paying back i started taking care of my sister's education because the financial crunch was still low and i didn't want them to miss out on that still telling you guys this is so important so they got their education they were studying they're really smart girls very beautiful um and after that i just decided okay i'm gonna start paying the loan i'm someone who cannot take money from anybody and if i do i have to return that back and the same thing with the bank as well bank was scared too every month i would call up so i've added the money in the account please take it they wouldn't take it they'd be like why are you not taking the money i've put it in finally instead of two lags i had to pay three likes because that's when the interest thing came in and i learned that okay this is how much i have to pay but i cleared my loan 2021 jan entirely but in the meantime we had panda make that hit yes i was also the first person to actually complete that loan they don't give it to anybody apparently they're like they all come and say we'll kill ourselves if we cannot pay right now but anyway so pandemic happened and the event industry shut down the reason i am here is because i have the audience it's the same thing that goes with the event industry as well the only way it can perform is when we have the audience but the entire lockdown it shifted to virtual events and i slowly went into corporates when i went into a corporate event or when i went to yes i was working for concentrics for six months i realized nine to five is not my job it it it made me feel sad i wasn't happy i'm i'm happy to go i'm a happy-go-lucky girl i just should everything might go down in the drain but i still somehow find to be happy it's okay it happens we get out of it there's a new day to look after and there's a new thing to do so let's just not go for it but that those six months were terrible i just realized nine to five is not my cup of tea it just shunned my capabilities it shunned what i could do what i believed in how i could achieve things i was just so drained i didn't have the time for anything so what i would do i would just get ready my cab was waiting for me and i just had opinions about certain things you know about society on skin color skinny people fat shaming people opinions on when you have to get married when you have to have kids everything and and basically i thought it was targeted only towards women no matter how much you say we've progressed but we don't look into the rural areas of how women still fight to get the basic needs we're still privileged here so i was talking about that i didn't have the time for it and i'd gifted myself an iphone essie at that time as a birthday gift and i'm a self-gifting woman every time i do come up with an achievement or i want something i give myself something everything that i'm wearing is a gift for myself i believe in a big time so i was just there so i still hold my phone quickly record because the cab driver would call me 100 times and just post it so my idea was not to be a content creator my idea was to just escape from whatever i was going through and and just share my opinions of what i thought about the system or what i thought about women and how they could change and one of the reasons just went viral now it's this notifications popping up now and then and i'm just like what is happening i just don't know why is all of this happening i have anxiety i still have anxiety i have anxiety and i don't touch my phone for a week straight i was at 3000 then um and then drastically these numbers are just changing people are just following me just does not make sense and it's very confusing finally i'm just talking to somebody and i say it's 20 20 november i say by the by the time we hit 2021 i hope i'm able to make it to 4k that's 4k followers it's a big number i was from 3k to 4k we hit 20k and on 2021 jan i hit 100k apparently a lot of real started going viral and then slowly i didn't still know how to monetize out of it but i slowly i just i just was like okay people are actually hearing me out my opinions does matter and i started taking up issues again as i told you i'm very these are all my experiences that i've been through my entire life let that be about just facing a normal thing i always keep telling um a man stands up and and makes a decision you'd be like that is a true leader did you see he knows exactly what he's doing a woman does the same thing the same decision this is exactly why women shouldn't be there did you see that the face that she made right it didn't seem pleasant and that's the narrative we have to change there is there's a subjective role that's given to each gender you look good at this you look good at that this is a sustainable job for you where you're able to also help your family and your friends but what about your dreams but what about what you want to do what about what you want to say or what about your vicious and and will what about what you like and that's exactly what how you take control of it we live in a society which is really hard you just cannot say no to your parents if we are financially dependent on them but one of the things i would want to just just make sure that you're forced upon is believe in yourself when you think you can't do this or you're just not good at it is the time you need to believe in yourself the most the way you look at yourself is the way the world will look at you you can't change people's opinions i'm pretty sure 50 percent of you might not agree with what i say or might not like me but that does not change what i think about myself do i i come off as a very strong confident woman i know exactly what i get to the table and that will never change so your perspective about me might change or might not change but it will never affect what i think about myself and that's how you gain confidence i couldn't come here and stand up and speak but the main difference what we have is we give this power of what we should think of ourselves to people around us you like you will validate me you will decide how i should think how i should feel what will make me look pretty and what should no no that's the decision made for you it's your life it's your hair it's your body how you feel about yourself is what matters are you feeling healthy are you feeling pretty are you feeling confident is up to you but the minute you give that power to somebody is when you know it's not going the way you want and that's the power you should take away from everyone to young girls to young boys out here all i would say is this is the time for you to experiment go on get that show get that gig whatever that you're looking for try it out you fail good for you you have an experience you learn from it you go for it this is the time you do not lose opportunities we are the generation that will feed on to it we are not someone who's gonna be like let's just let it go we want it we get it i keep telling this radar wants it gets it in a nice way i'm not gonna hurt anybody but in a nice way but it's also the fact that i manifested everything that i have here i worked my ass off to be there i'm so sorry for the language but i worked really hard to be here one of the things that i realized is you know with constant gratification gratitude uh constant self-love towards yourself to people around you you just change the persona of how you see the world once you're full with love within yourself right you just see exactly that with every other person around and that's all you have to do so reaching beyond as i told you is subjective it keeps changing for each one of you and i hope one day you all have your reach beyond stories but this is my reach beyond story we're just starting we're just beginning maybe soon enough you'll see me somewhere else and be like i know her she came to my school and she gave the speech which i didn't understand then but she's here now as i told you it's it's dreaming big don't don't hold up and say when people go on no that's not possible let it go it's that's not something you can do don't never let that go for it the minute as i told you you give it to somebody your energy is trained decide your energy decide your space decide the kind of people you want to be with the kind of energy and the environment you want to grow around and that's what will change with this i would like to end but sayonara this is signing off thank you

Channel: TEDx Talks

Views: 234,087

Keywords: Achievement, Empowerment, English, Life, TEDxTalks, Women, [TEDxEID:50251]

Id: MzsIwRaO6A0

Length: 16min 18sec (978 seconds)

Published: Fri Sep 09 2022