GF's Little Sister Goes To Cops & Tells THIS About Me & It Destroys My Life & Family But 3 Yrs Later

all right so three years ago i 24 male and my high school sweetheart claire 23 broke up after her younger sister accused me of seducing her my life was destroyed i was expelled from university had my scholarship terminated lost my internship at a tech company was assaulted by members of both her and my family all in a couple of months claire didn't believe that i was innocent she blocked me as soon as the news broke and never once reached out to me she told all of our mutual friends that i was violent she never once asked my side of the story and just assumed i was in the wrong charges were pressed and that's when the cracks in her sister's story appeared eventually she cracked under pressure and came clean she was jealous of how much time i spent with her sister and how much more her family seemed to like me anyway once news broke a lot of apologies came through the only one i waited for was from my ex-girlfriend she never sent as much as a text message to me so i left and moved on three years later i get a text message from an unknown number the message was from claire and she invited me to dinner she didn't apologize to me once in this entire message i went to dinner and we talked she talked about how sorry she was she was sad that she was so quick to make assumptions and that she should have heard me out when i asked why she never reached out she told me that her family wouldn't let her she said that she wanted to go on a few dates to see if we can get back together should i all this time i waited for her was because i loved her but it feels like i can't trust her anymore it also feels like she didn't really try to reach out at this time in this day and age it's really easy to secretly reach out to someone online i need your help i really hope you sued for damages i don't know if that's a real thing but she should definitely face some consequences for that garbage but no and i repeat no i go complete no contact with your ex agree he could sue for what he lost from scholarships what income he lost from the internship for however much time he had left on it slander emotional distress and probably a laundry list of other things after everything they put him through yep many many more women in the world don't come with psychotic life-ruining little sisters after that type of history and family drama i just steer clear and move on with my life three years is a long time to try and reach out and after all you will eventually have to see your younger sister at some point if you two renew a relationship after an allegation like that which resulted in so much pain why would you want to surround yourself with that type of negative energy you would have to be a complete to even consider saying yes three years passed and now she's apologizing i wouldn't have even gone to dinner with her she is sorry for herself not for what she and her family did to opie she is ready to move on to forgive and finally ready to date him again she doesn't understand that she is the one who should be begging forgiveness i can understand her freaking out when her sister made those accusations even if she believed her sister she should have talked to you first and then made up her mind but then when the truth came out she never reached out to you her parents didn't let her she was 20 at the time she doesn't need them to let her please see this dinner for what it was a closure i am shocked that you went to meet her it doesn't make sense why her family wouldn't let her see you but now she can since she has yet to apologize and even if she does why should you accept this apology her sister she and her family ruined your life even if you get back together there is no way to bring back your scholarship internship in future hope you suit the family for destroying your future my girlfriend and i moved in together a few months ago and recently had an argument over the usual suspect cleaning habits we are both pretty thorough about cleaning but she takes it to an extreme to the extent that she totally rearranges the furniture once a week to be able to vacuum underneath i also vacuum at least once a week but i save the deep furniture moving cleaning for maybe two to three times a year she also spends at least two hours each week thoroughly scrubbing every nook and cranny of the bathroom again doing a mop and wipe down of the bathroom is something i do at least every week but a deep two-hour scrubbing is something i do every one to two months she told me that she wanted me to be more thorough when cleaning i respect her desired level of cleanliness and i thought i could kill two birds with one stone and minimize the amount of cleaning my girlfriend has to do as well so i hired cleaners to come by for a couple of hours each week and bought a roomba to easily vacuum underneath furniture without moving it i thought my girlfriend would be thrilled but instead she got upset she said that she resented how i was buying my way out of working hard i honestly do not understand where she's coming from firstly i'm buying both of us a way out of working hard secondly i feel that by her logic hiring a mechanic instead of diying auto repairs or hiring a garbage truck to pick up our trash rather than hauling it to the dump ourselves is also buying your way out of working hard but she has no aversion to taking our cars to the mechanic or paying for garbage removal when i brought this reasoning up with her she just said forget it this isn't something you can understand and refuse to discuss the subject further i'm hoping this sub can shed some light on what she's so upset about because clearly i'm missing something i'd assume her issue is not the cleanliness but the devotion and commitment to the relationship from how she reacted by getting the easy way out she might assume that this is your way of dealing with things in general instead of dealing with them yourself and personally investing you'd rather have someone else do the hard work for you agree lp i think you should have had a conversation and found common ground before fixing the problem she obviously has a symbolic effort tied to cleaning i think the robot vacuum is excellent as long as you program it to lay down magnet strips and clean the bin still you should maybe talk about whether the house cleaner is the right solution for your particular situation and find a compromise that works for both of you the amount of people in here justifying her insane habits is mind-boggling spending two hours cleaning the bathroom isn't a sign of devotion or commitment it's a sign of neurosis and or that you two are filthy beyond comprehension the fact is you had a problem and solved it efficiently and without adding to your girlfriend's labor don't let anyone shame you for not joining in on your partner's neurotic behavior sounds like she has some obsessive issues with cleaning the first step is to clarify that her behavior is the issue here not yours moving all the furniture etc once a week to clean is excessive and i think you need to make it known that if anyone's cleaning habits need to change it's hers in terms of the buying your way out of it nonsense your argument is solid cleaning is not a fulfilling activity it is a necessity we do it purely because it is needed to keep our homes livable nothing more if i had to guess i'd say the issue is control it's not enough for the house to be clean evidently she wants to order him to do it personally and the way she wants it done too her attitude is unhealthy and damaging she identified a problem and he solved it her only response should have been thank you i 24 female work as a chef at one of the famous restaurant chains in our city known for its delicious food we used to work non-stop all day as our orders were really high pre-global issue needless to say our restaurant closed down during this lockdown and i'm staying home i really love cooking and i enjoy it so much as i have lots of free time i do try out many recipes and upload vlogs often my sister-in-law's 25 son's first birthday is coming up soon and she asked me if i was willing to do the cake obviously i said yes the party will take place in my in-laws house which is a 2-3 hour drive from where we are and it's been a long time since we saw each other yesterday she called me again to ask if i could cook for the party overall there will be 10 to 13 people at the party all vaxxed i wasn't sure at first she told me she'll help me and give me a list of what she wants around four to five main traditional dishes with three side dishes and some cupcakes as desserts i said it was too much even for both of us and asked her if we can order from outside but she insisted she wanted my cooking as our family loves to eat my food i told her i'll call her back later i gave it a thought but in the end i didn't want to first of all it's for more than 10 people and the dishes she gave requires three to four hours for prep plus actual cooking which means i would have to get there earlier than the others second she told me she'll help but she will slack off in the middle and would always ask obvious questions even if i give clear instructions happened before third i'm already preparing the cake so i feel like it's more than enough i texted her back i didn't want to she then vented to my partner and told him that i'm not cooking for his family even though i've cooked for my family before my family is comparatively smaller than his seems like she expressed that the whole family is disappointed with my behavior it was frustrating when my partner confronted me and i told him that i'm already making the cake and it feels like she's just using me i stated the above reasons but he still wants me to cook since my cooking is delicious and they all love it i straight away told him that i'm not his family's personal chef and if they want to eat they can gladly order out he is still mad i guess and has been passive aggressive the whole day so am i the idiot not the idiot if you have to start prep at home you would even need to do the shopping i wonder if she expects you to pay for the groceries as well it's wise of you to say no if you continue to get pressured don't make the cake and don't attend the party not the idiot i'm assuming she's also expecting you to bring a gift for her child that makes you a guest not the host also she may be offering to help now but who will do the prep and set up for the party i will tell her that you're already doing her favor by making the cake and you would like to enjoy the party and not do all the work also this may be a cultural difference but i have never heard of having such extravagant food for a one-year-old's birthday party not the idiot you work as a chef it is your job it's not fair that your sister-in-law and your partner demand you cook for 10 to 13 people and i assume no one is paying you for it sure i know it's family and so on but come on four to five main courses plus side dishes and desserts plus the cake you already accepted you would bake it is definitely unreasonable for them to ask you to do that alone your sister-in-law is using you you are already baking the cake you don't have to do anything else for her you don't want to let her order take out or hire a chef or whatever sure your cooking is delicious but that doesn't mean your sister-in-law is entitled to demand your delicious cooking you are not their personal chef i have to give some background info so this makes more sense when i was 20 i was with this woman in her early 30s for a while this was about a year before my son was born then one day i got approached by this guy who turned out to be her husband he got suspicious of her started to follow her around i had no idea and stopped having contact with her met my girlfriend had my son james after that he's six and joined the baseball team at the park a while back he became friends with everyone including this kid owen who's like a year older i think my son always makes friends with everyone one of his teammates invited james to his birthday party which was yesterday since my ex doesn't get james until tuesday i was the one who took him this is going to sound like some tv drama but guess who owens parents are the woman i dated and her husband so i guess they stayed together both were there and it was super super awkward it was a pretty big backyard and there were other people so it was easy to avoid them but james is really good friends with owen so it wasn't helping that owen would come up with him where i was sitting every so often and owen is a nice kid so of course i would talk to him but direct the kids to go back and play with everyone else but man i could feel her husband staring at me hard the whole time i know neither of us was expecting to see the other here of all places he approached me eventually i thought it would turn into something else but he said he believed it's better if i left now if it was just me at a random party then yeah but this was the party my son was invited to and i don't feel it's fair to make him stop hanging around with his friends over this i said we can avoid each other and not interact at all but let the kids have fun he still wouldn't change his mind and i didn't either i suggested giving it an hour since we just got there and then i'll leave with my son the husband kept saying that this is the least i could do after what i did to their family they ended up leaving early instead with owen my son was confused and bummed out his friend left but he got to enjoy the rest of the party it was a pretty crazy experience that i was totally unprepared for i told this to my friends later and they think i was an idiot for not making it easier on this guy after being with his wife like if i had a clue she was married yeah my son would have missed out on a party but the guy had a right to feel comfortable and not be reminded of what went down all those years ago still i feel like it wouldn't have been fair to make my son miss out on a party he was invited to over something like this but since they seem to think i was an idiot i'd like to know if they're right was i the idiot not the idiot the guy's problem should be with his wife not with you you're innocent in this if you genuinely had no idea she had a husband when you were seeing each other shame it impacted the kids though hope it helps i was thinking the same thing both opie and the husband were wronged in the affair drama it was the wife who was responsible given that opie wasn't pressuring them to leave them leaving sooner was entirely their own choice i feel bad for owen and op's son though as i wouldn't be surprised if owen's parents tried to stop him from being friends with op's son you handled everything quite well of course the mature thing to do was quietly sit apart and not interact which you were doing instead owens obviously still dysfunctional parents decided to punish the children and create drama you are not the idiot but boy your son is about to be so excited when he finds out his best friend is actually his brother holy smokes you just took my mind somewhere i wasn't prepared for no i don't really think that's likely i mean i would have noticed if he looked like me right but honestly that thought didn't come to me at all i have three children 28 male 23 female and female tween they all live with me their dad and i divorced a long time ago the younger one has a problem being social and integrating into the family she'd rather spend time in her room doing her things i got worried this will affect her in the future so i've been trying to teach her to share her things with her siblings and be more friendly when she cooks food or buys snacks i tell her that she has to give some to her siblings who also ask her directly the same goes for anything the other sibling doesn't have she always refuses and acts all fussy about it and i make sure to tell her that she's acting extraordinarily selfish and rude in the end she agrees and everyone's happy now here's why i think i might be the idiot the other day she prepared an omelette for herself and was heading to her room to eat as she passed by i told her to give a piece of it to grandma who was sitting next to me she had the biggest meltdown screamed at me and tossed her plate food and all she then stormed off closed herself in her room and i told her to stay in because she's grounded until she learns to communicate i talked to my sister earlier and she told me that i'm being too forceful with my daughter and she cut her some slack my mother also briefly told me to leave her alone so i'm having second thoughts am i the idiot you are the idiot you are forcing a child to give things she's purchased to grown-up adults who can buy their own stuff she cooked an omelette once she prepared as a single serving for herself at no point while she was cooking does it sound like anyone asked if she could make an extra or make an extra large one nope you simply told her you wanted to deny her a full serving of breakfast in the interest of sharing you aren't teaching her to share you're teaching her that she's not allowed her own meals her own snacks or her own property because adults deserve her stuff more than she does what maybe she spends a lot of time in her room because she's an introvert or maybe it's because it's nightmarish living with you either way knock it off i had to stop reading halfway through to double check that the siblings were 28 and 23 why does such a young girl need to share her things with her 28 and 23 year old siblings or grandma agree with mom being the idiot here you are the idiot that isn't teaching sharing that's teaching if she makes something or gets something she must give it to someone else as well if she's struggling with socializing have her see a psychologist there might be neurodivergence or just in need of general help but making her share is not teaching her anything i question whether this kid really has a socialization issue her siblings are 11 and 16 years older than her they're adults and she's only a kid i can see why she isn't integrating and socializing with the family well she's the only child among at least four adults and she could just be introverted which is totally fine [Music] you

Channel: ASK GURL

Views: 91,409

Keywords: askreddit, r/askreddit, reddit, askwomen, reddit women, askreddit real voice, reddit stories, justnomil, r/aita, r/tifu

Id: LxJK7jD4iB0

Length: 18min 6sec (1086 seconds)

Published: Wed Feb 02 2022