Getting your s**t together... What you're NOT being told!

there's a lot of content on self-improvement and getting your life together and as someone who has been able to greatly improve their life from where I first started to where I'm at now I can tell you that there's a lot of stuff that these self-help gurus leave out and there's a lot of stuff that most people won't tell you about getting your life together and what it takes to do it first I want to say that it can be extremely hard to improve your life and get your together it's even harder depending on where you start it's harder depending on where you're at in life it's harder depending on where you come from some of us will have it easier than others some of us may have made bigger mistakes some of us might have bigger problems that we have to deal with and improve and fix before we're able to actually get our lives together and make those big improvements that we want to make and it's not a leveled playing field it's not fair and it won't be fair and it's not going to be fair because that's just how life is that's just the honest truth some of us might have serious addiction issues that we have to work on and that can be very difficult to deal with some people might have a criminal past some people might have a record and it's going to be harder for them to get a job than it will be for someone who doesn't and it can be very demoralizing and make it more difficult for you to want to make those improvements if you know that it's going to be so much harder for you but since it is so much harder for you it can be more rewarding for you and you'll have a better comeback story depending on what you're trying to accomplish it can be more difficult for for you to get your life together and do the things that you want to do many of us have big goals but every Big Goal starts with like small steps towards those goals but it can be hard for us to want to grind through it and make those improvements if what we're trying to obtain feels so far away and if the thing that you're trying to do is bigger than most or if you are in a spot where you have to struggle more or work harder to get to something that might seem easier for someone else to accomplish it doesn't take away from the fact that it's still going to be extremely rewarding for you when you get those things and some of us have bigger goals than others and some of our goals might seem small to some people but be big to us and vice versa but don't get caught up in a game of comparisons because if you do that you're going to feel inadequate when you're trying to compare yourself to others and that's one big thing that you have to do when you're trying to improve your life since we all start from different spots since we all have different goals and things that we want to achieve since we all have things that might be preventing us from getting to the things that we want we can't compare ourselves to someone else we can only compare ourselves to the person that we were before and we have to work hard to get the things that we want and not worry about what it takes someone else to get and that's something that you really have to make that mentality switch when you're trying to improve your life and you're trying to make those strides in the right direction to get to the thing that you want to get to don't compare yourself to others and while things might be harder for you just remember that there's someone that wishes that they were in your shoes and there's someone that wishes that they they could have the life that you have and if you keep working towards the things that you want to work towards and you try to work towards the goals that you're trying to achieve you'll get there eventually and regardless of the size of your goals or where you started from there's different levels of difficulty for everyone depending on their starting point but the difficulty is always going to be hard or extra hard or extra extra hard there's nothing easy about self-improvement there's many people that try to painted as making simple steps in the right direction there's some truth to that but at the same time it's a grind if you've made a lot of bad decisions if you've had poor judgment if you've been a knucklehead your whole life and you're trying to make improvements now in your 20s and your 30s and your 40s it's going to be hard and there's no sugar coating that there's no trying to soften the blow on that and depending on how much you've screwed up the more you're going to have to work in order to fix it and get to where you want to be and that's like the first thing I got to open up with because it really is just very difficult and I know that I've been on the grind for a while and I still don't feel like I'm where I want to be and I'm still working on myself every day the next thing I want to say is that nobody gives a nobody cares if you're trying to improve your life in fact I would argue that if you are in a position where you're kind of coming out of the trenches and you're really trying to make improvements and you're surrounded by people who don't really care about improving their lives it's going to be even more difficult to find someone who gives a and that's just being blunt and honest your parents might care a little bit but if you're someone who has screwed up a lot they might be at the point where they have lost all faith in you and they don't think that you're going to be able to accomplish anything if you're lucky enough to have a spouse a girlfriend a boyfriend someone that actually loves you and cares about you they might care but if you have been in a cycle of trying to fix your life if you've been in a cycle of addiction which I've dealt with if you've been in and out of trouble and trying to get your together over and over there comes a point where all the people that did have some faith in you all the people that did believe that you could get better or make improvements as you told them that you would they might not believe it anymore and you know maybe you're lucky because if you are at that point you can maybe prove those people wrong in a good way not to be like haha I told you so but more like hey I finally did it but some of us don't have anyone that cares about them and some of us are in this completely alone and when we try to make these improvements when we try to fix our lives and do better there's no one that we can tell there's no one that we can brag to our accomplishments about there's no one that really gives a except you I almost think that that's a good thing I almost think that that's something that helps you realize that at the end end of the day the only person that can make the improvements that you want to make are you and the only person that really cares about your life is yourself knowing that all the decisions that you make impact you and you mostly helps you try to make better decisions at the end of the day you might disappoint some loved ones or some friends because of the life that you've LED but the truth is that the person that's going to be the most disappointed is going to be you like when it's all said and done and you're on your deathbed and you look back and you say man I was a f up I screwed up my life I didn't do anything right that's going to weigh on you more than it's going to weigh on anyone else we are responsible for our own actions and knowing that no one else cares can also be kind of a good thing knowing that this is on you and you don't have to worry about making that person feel a certain way about the things that you're doing and you don't have to worry about whether or not people are going to be proud of you or disappointed in you is great because then you take all the credibility you take all the responsibility and you know that it doesn't matter as long as you do the things that you want to do in order to get to where you want to get to and and accomplish the things that you want to accomplish at the end of the day that's all that matters what ends up happening is that when you start making those improvements and you start fixing your life and you start getting those things that you wanted to get and becoming the person you wanted to become then you'll see that a lot of those people that were rooting for you that may have lost hope and may have thought that you would never be able to do the things that you kept saying that you would will then have their faith and their hope restored and see that you were able to do it and they'll feel better knowing that they believed in you and if they didn't believe in you then you'll feel better knowing that you prove them wrong right but just remember that we got to do these things for ourselves nobody cares about your self-improvement except you and nobody should because at the end of the day you need to love yourself and do the things that you need to do in in order to get your life where you wanted to get to and you can't do that for anyone else an addict will only get sober when they want to get sober doesn't matter how many people they hurt it doesn't matter how much they screw up other people's lives when they hit rock bottom and realize that they're ready is the only time that they'll get ready I believe that that applies to most people not necessarily just addicts but people who are trying to improve their lives there comes a point where you have to want to do it and nothing anyone else says or thinks matters except for what you want and that's something that is a reality when you're trying to make these improvements and get your life together and become a better person and once you start looking out for yourself and you start making those improvements you'll see that more people will care about you and that's the truth at the end of the day this only matters to you so the next thing I want to say is that old habits die hard and your demons will follow you everywhere you go and it seems that when you're trying the hardest to do the best that you can is when those things kind of come around the most and that can be very very difficult when you're on a path to self-improvement and when you're trying to get away from some of those old habits or when you're trying to deal with those demons as part of your self-improvement right many of us have trauma many of us have bad relationships that we dealt with some of us might have addictions some of us might have a lot of those things combined and it makes it harder like I mentioned earlier but it's crazy how much those things just decide to come back at the worst possible times and there's always something there's always some old friend that shows up there's always some reason to slack off or go do something that is not aligned with your self-improvement goals whatever that is you can use your imagination we all have our vices we all have those certain people in our lives that bring out the worst in us we we all have our own personal traits and our own things that we bring out the worst in ourselves sometimes and trying to deal with those things trying to cope with those things trying to avoid some of those situations and those people it can be very very difficult and it's probably one of the hardest things to have to deal with sometimes especially when you have like this self-image of yourself and when you're trying to make changes in improving your life and you've grown up thinking that you're this certain type of person that this is just who you are this is what you do and the things that you're trying to do now don't align with that person it's almost like you have to escape your old self and build yourself new and build a new you and that can be very very hard to do especially when those demons and old habits start popping up all I can say is that I am not the person that I was 20 years ago the person that I was 20 years ago wouldn't recognize me now and I'm super proud of that through like working out a lot of my stuff through trying to make myself better through dealing with my addictions recently and just overall trying to improve my financial situation and just make myself a better person it's been a long long hard Road and it's been super difficult to do I still deal with avoiding those demons and trying to avid void those bad habits on a regular basis and I can tell you like this as someone who has been working on himself for years now that almost never goes away and they're always going to be there and you just have to be able to recognize that be able to say no not today devil not today I'm going to I'm going to keep on the path of righteousness I'm not a religious person by the way but I'm just saying I'm going to keep going in the direction that I'm trying to go to live the life I want to live and be the person I want to be and not worry about the person that I was and sometimes that means you have to cut ties with old habits old addictions and old friends and people that just don't serve your purpose anymore and don't serve what you're trying to do and don't help you get to where you're trying to be something else it's not a oneand done you can't undo a bunch of bad that you've done by just doing one or two things right you have to continuously work on doing the right thing every single day like you can't undo being fat and out of shape by eating salad one day and going to the gym that happens from you putting in the Reps from eating right day in and day out from working out sweating and busting your ass it doesn't just happen from going to the gym once and that's the same for self-improvement it's the same for trying to get your life together you can't undo all of the bad decisions that you made by saying you know what today I'm going to journal or you know what today I'm going to do something that is positive and then every other day just be a complete bag it just doesn't work that way it's just not the way things are and it's not realistic to think that if you've led a really bad life full of poor decisions or let's say your life hasn't been that bad and let's say that you've had a pretty regular life but you're trying to become a better person and you're trying to make better decisions in you're trying to do things that will put you in a better position in the near future or in the possible not so near future but ultimately get you to where you want to be in the distant to near future it takes a lot of work and it goes back to the first thing I said like it's harder for everyone depending on where you start so you have to do more depending on where you start and then you also have to know that it doesn't just happen overnight that it's not just going to happen with a couple of good decisions the steps that you have to take to get to that finish line are multiple steps and they compound depending on the decisions that you've made previously and where you get started so just know that you're in for like a long time of working on yourself in order for you to actually improve your life and it's going to be harder depending on where you start so you got to look at it as more like a lifetime of self-improvement not just a long time it's really a lifetime so you have to think of it as kind of changing your lifestyle again like that old you dies and the knew you is born and you are now the person that you want to be and the person that you want to be works on themselves every single day to keep improving themselves so just remember that this is going to be a lifetime decision of improvement and working on you and the things that you want to accomplish if you really want to get your together with that said just remember that it only takes a few bad decisions to undo a bunch of good decisions it's almost opposite right where if you do the right thing and work towards the goal a couple times you're not going to get the big improvements that you want and it takes a really long time to get to where you want to be by making good decisions every single day but it only takes a few bad decisions to undo all of that work that you've done and that's ironic and it's almost scary but it's something that you really have to keep in mind when you're trying to work on yourself and get to where you want to be and get your life together and get your together you can work so hard and then just few mistakes can set you back right to where you started or even worse might set you back to before you got started and you know it kind of all plays into all the stuff that I talked about earlier like those demons and th and those bad habits if they they come back around you can easily put yourself in a position that you were worse off than when you got started and trying to make those improvements especially if you're someone who's been in and out of jail especially if you're someone who's dealt with addiction like you know better than anyone else that if you screw up it could be your last time or you could be in a position where you might not be able to come out of it like you just did use that as motivation use that to help you stay on track don't let it scare you but let it influence you in the decisions that you make if you know that you have to work extra hard and make good decisions every day and only get a little bit of results from it but you know that if you make a few bad decisions it'll erase all of that hard work work that you did it should motivate you to stay away from the bad stuff and work harder on the good stuff because if you apply yourself to the things that you know are going to better you and you work extra hard on those then you could maybe get to where you want to be faster but if you slip up and just screw around a little bit with the stuff that doesn't help you could get you in a very bad spot before you even know it so just think about that like that because that's on the back of my mind all the time I'm approaching a year sober right now now and I know that any day I could screw up and drink and undo all that hard work all those days that I went without drinking or smoking over the last year I can screw that all up by one mistake that motivates me to not do that and I use it as fuel to improve myself and continue on the path that I'm trying to be on and hopefully me sharing that helps you too but just know that it it doesn't take a lot to mess it all up so try to stay on the straight narrow and do what you're trying to do and avoid getting yourself in a bad spot by making some bad decisions because they'll set you back more than you might want them to the last thing I'm going to say is that there's going to be a bunch of stuff that gets in your way throughout your self-improvement get my together cycle you might slip up and you might have to reset and you might find yourself in a position that you were worse off than when you started and you might feel like you're not getting anywhere if you keep trying and you keep making good decisions as long as you don't make too many big bad decisions that really screw you up and mess up your life you can get to where you want to be but a lot of the time it's going to feel like you're getting nowhere and it's crazy because I've been working on improving my life for a very long time now even though I've been able to do so much with my life from where I started to where I'm at now I still feel like I'm nowhere near where I want to be and the goalpost keeps moving and that's not necessarily A Bad Thing it does sometimes feel like I'll never get to what I want to accomplish and what I really want to do and what I really want from my life and sometimes I have to step back and like zoom out and look at my life through a different set of glasses a different lens I guess and see the big picture and see how much I have been able to accomplish and how much all those small little things that I've been able to do have gotten me to where I'm at now and even though it feels like you're getting nowhere sometimes and even though it feels like the thing that you ultimately want is Out Of Reach and you may never get it and screwing up sometimes and getting reset or having the backtrack and rework through things that you've already done gaining weight losing weight being addicted trying to get sober what whatever it may be different things for every person right it's completely normal for life to get in your way sometimes it's normal normal for things to not work out exactly how you want them to and it's normal for this to be a process this isn't something that is just linear it's not something that you can just get from point A to point B in a straight line it goes up and down it goes backwards sometimes sometimes you'll Jump Ahead real far because something happened that propelled you in the direction that you wanted to go but just know that it's okay to not get there right away and it's okay to feel like you're getting nowhere sometimes all that work that you're putting in it does compound and a lot of good decisions will help you even if you do get reset a little bit to kind of pick up where you left off sometimes as long as it's not an extremely bad decision that just completely wipes out all your hard work usually if you worked really hard for a very long time a lot of that hard work will still have somewhat of a foundation and will help you get back on track the next time and just know that you got to keep going even though it feels like you're getting nowhere sometimes because you will get there eventually it's just a lot of hard work for some of us who had it harder than others and I think it's hard work for everyone even if they start off in a good position and just keep working on the things that you want to work on again it's a lifetime of improvement and it doesn't come easy and some people might say that what's the whole point of trying to work so hard to get your life together when it's so much easier to do things that feel fun and exciting and I'd rather waste away playing video games or smoking weed all day rather than like improving my life and having to work so hard to do these things that don't actually sound fulfilling the truth is that there's a lot of fulfillment and a lot of joy that comes from accomplishing goals and getting to the place that you want to be in life and I feel more fulfilled and more full of joy now than I did when I was high all the time and drunk all the time and playing video games all the time I feel like my life has purpose now I feel like I'm working extra hard and I'm starting to see the fruits of my labor and there's no better feeling than that and I challenge anyone to tell me anything that feels better than that honestly it's one of the best feelings I've ever had and it feels so much more rewarding than all of the poor decisions that I used to make which is what keeps me on track to wanting to continue to improve my life and continue to keep my together as I work on getting my together all right with all that said I hope this video was helpful thanks for watching and I'll see you next time

Channel: Dorian Develops

Views: 3,275

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Id: uHhJ5JTjo5Q

Length: 21min 56sec (1316 seconds)

Published: Fri Jul 05 2024