[MUSIC PLAYING] Start building the home of
your future today, Smart Home. Good morning. So glad you joined us today. Would you turn in
your Bibles, please, to the book of
Genesis chapter 24? Genesis 24 and 29,
both of those chapters together if you pray
mark that, that's what we'll we be
looking at today. Mike Driggs and Pam Sears
went out for a dinner date. They're both from
Colorado Springs, and he wanted to go to a
restaurant out of town. So they were driving. He got lost, and
ran out of gas-- I mean, legitimately
ran out of gas. So now the couple
on their date have to walk two miles from their
stalled vehicle to a gas station to get a gas
can to hitch a ride back with a tow truck driver
to their vehicle. Romantic, right? When they get back
to their vehicle they make the
astonishing discovery that the vehicle doesn't exist. It has been stolen. It gets more romantic. Now they got to go back to the
gas station, call the police. Police show up 45 minutes later. It takes two hours to
complete the police report, so they're well
into the evening. Mike is undaunted. We're going on a
dinner date, he says. So they take a $20 cab ride
to the Regional Airport to a rental car agency, rent
a car, and drive to dinner. After dinner when they're
walking out of the restaurant, Mike is informed that the valet
who parked the car accidentally backed the car up
into a guardrail. So now it's a
damaged rental car. So to make matters worse,
as Mike is driving Pam back home after dinner with
his damaged rental car, he gets pulled over
by a police officer and gets ticketed because
the brake lights don't work because the valet backed
the car into a guardrail. So when they arrived
to her house, she feels so bad she says look
come on in for a few minutes and decompress. So when Mike opens her front
door, Pam's german shepherd is on the other side of
the door, lunges at Mike, bites him in the arm. He gets 18 stitches in
the local emergency room, and now it's 1 o'clock
in the morning. True story, right, so
this is like the worst day you've ever heard of. The outcome of that date is
that Mike got a job with the car rental agency, and Pam ended
up dating the emergency room intern. That's just a bad date. When you think about it, Adam
had it pretty easy, right? There was only one gal
and God created the gal, and the Bible says the Lord
brought the woman to the man. Don't we wish? You just get a
knock on the door, special delivery from God. Here's the package. But that doesn't happen to us. We go through a
process we call dating. Now just curious how
many of you are single? Would you raise your hand up? Don't be-- raise them up high. Come on. Be happy about that. Now keep them up. Keep them up. Keep them up. Keep them up. Keep them up. Keep them up. Keep them up. Now look around quick. Look around. Find out who's available now. There you go. See I helped you out
a little bit there. Did you know that dating is
a relatively new practice? It's only about a century
old, just over 100 years. Before dating as we know
it in Western culture, the interaction between male
and female was highly regulated. There were rules for
physical contact. There was the use of
chaperones on dates, and marriages were arranged. Now we live in a dating
culture, but dating it seems like from
my perspective has gotten a little more
complicated over the years. And add to the complications
of a next generation what is the phenomenon
of online dating, a number of sources like
Match.com, Zoosk.com, OkCupid, and many others. And there is even a niche for
Christian online websites, E-harmony.com,
ChristianMingle.com. These are very popular. In fact, 40% of singles have
dated someone they met online. Now that's significant, because
that's opposed to about 25% who date because they've
been introduced by friends. So the statistic of online
dating is going sky high. And I have-- I have met people. I have friends who have
dated and gotten married, because of an online Christian
site very successfully. I don't really care how the Lord
brings the woman to the man. I care that the Lord brings
the woman to the man. So there's a number of options. Now when you turn
to the Bible, you discover that the Bible really
doesn't talk about dating. There's no dating text. There's nothing like
thou shalt not date, or this is how thou shalt date. And I also understand
that there is a movement against dating that
has arisen from some churches. Some Christians feel
strongly against dating, and so they want to kind of
go backwards just a little bit to a different way of doing it. They call it courtship where
it's a little more regulated, offers a little more structure. And to even complicate
things further, there's now something
called dourtship. I kid you not. It is a hybrid combination
of dating and courting. Are you dating? Are you courting? No, we're dourting. Now I really can't
tell you what that is. I just read about it. In the old ways of doing
things, the biblical standards marriages were
arranged by parents. Usually dads would
talk to other dads. They would agree my little
girl's perfect match for your little boy. A dowry would be given. And today in Arab
cultures to this day these things are agreed upon
like this, and in that culture, it's sealed with
a cup of coffee. At least they got
that part right. They seal the deal
over a cup of coffee. Now what we're
going to do is look at some text in the
Bible, Genesis 24 and 29. They're not dating
texts per se, but we do find examples
of people who are engaged in the process
of finding a mate, securing a mate. And one is named Isaac, and
the other is named Jacob. And we're going to look at
some principles that emerge as we go through this text. We're building a
smart home remember, and I think you'll all
agree that it begins here. A smart home comes
from smart dating. So let's look at some
of these principles, and we'll begin in Genesis 24. And the first
principle, let's call it pre-qualifying for the home. These are pre-qualification
principles. Number one is
separation, separation. So in Genesis 24,
Abraham figures out that it's time for his
son to get married. So he does what
any dad would do. He sends a matchmaker
to find a wife. The matchmaker happens
to be the eldest servant in the household. We come to find out his name is
Eliezer, and he sends him out. Now to us that
sounds pretty goofy. You're thinking--
you're thinking are we going to trust
somebody's marital future to a third party. Well, I guess it
depends who it is, because from my perspective
judging from what I can see today with
the divorce rate we're not doing a better
job of it than they did. In fact, I would say
even a worse job of it. But anyway back to the text
in verse 3 of Genesis 24, Abraham is commissioning
his servant, and he says, "and I will make you swear by
the Lord, the God of heaven and the God of the
earth, that you will not take a wife from my son from
the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I dwell; but
you will go to my country and to my family, and take
a wife for my son Isaac. And the servant said to
him, 'perhaps the woman will not be willing to
follow me to this land. Must I take your son back to
the land from which you came?' But Abraham said to him, 'beware
that you do not take my son back there.'" So it's pretty obvious
Abraham does not want his son marrying a Canaanite. No Canaanite
chickens for my son, because their value
system, their belief system was not part of the
covenant that God made with Abraham and his offspring. So he doesn't want a
Canaanite to marry his son. He does not want his son to
go back to the old country and get, sort of, tainted
with that religious system. So it's the principle of you
go back and you bring her back, and she has to
understand certain things to fit into this covenant. This is the principle
of separation. It is best articulated
in the New Testament book of 2 Corinthians
6 where Paul writes to not be unequally
yoked together with unbelievers. Now I know that that
text is primarily being written to
Christians of Corinth to separate from the
false teachers that were part of that community,
but the principle applies. Do not be an unequally yoked
together with unbelievers. One translation
says stop forming intimate and inconsistent
relationships with unbelievers. The illustration that
Paul uses is from farming. To be yoked is a farming term. A farmer would find
two animals that he could put a yoke around,
because they had to pull a plow. So a farmer would
pick two animals that were suitable for each other. For instance, he's not going
to pick an ox and a pony. He's going to get two
animals of the same species, of the same size,
strength, temperament. Why? Because they need to pull the
plow in the same direction to get the work done. If he gets wrong or
mismated animals, they're going to pull
in opposite directions. So it's an illustration,
we can bring into marriage. In marriage, it's the yoking
together of two people, and they should be going
in the same direction. Believers and
unbelievers are not going in the same direction. They have opposing masters. They have opposing worldviews. They have opposing
sources of wisdom. They have opposing aims in life,
and most significantly, they have opposing eternal destinies. So I would ask a
young girl why are you dating that non-Christian guy? What in the world do
you have in common? Well, we both like jazz. OK, but you better
go deeper than that. Life is going to be for
them one big tug of war. They're never going to be able
to pull the plow so to speak, do the Lord's work. This is the reason why
Paul in 1 Corinthians 7 tells Christian widows who
have lost their husband and want to remarry, he says,
by all means remarry, but-- listen to his words-- only in the Lord,
only in the Lord. You see if a child of God
marries a child of the devil, they're going to have
problems with their in-laws. So you want to get them
matched, mated, separated under the same covenant. Now there's
something interesting before we move on to the second. There is the presence of another
party in this relationship, and that is the servant
who chooses the girl. He is invited in. He takes part in the process. And that's because in those
days marriage, courtship and marriage was not
a private matter. It was a family
matter in those days. In fact, it was a
community matter. So when people date, they first
need to take a step toward God and then a step toward others. Let me explain that. You first take a
step toward God. I'm separated under God. Unless the Lord builds the
house, they labor in vain who build it. You're to love the Lord your
God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength. You won't be able to
love another person well if you don't love the Lord more. That's where you start. It's a step toward God. Second, there's a step
toward other people. You want to lean hard on
people who know you best, who love you most, and who will
tell you when you're wrong. You don't want to exclude them. You want to include them. You want to invite others
into the relationship. Couples need honest, courageous
people who if there's a problem won't be afraid
to tell them that. And here's why, because dating-- this modern concept
that we've been engaged in a century or so-- dating by its very
nature is isolating. A boyfriend and a girlfriend
isolate with each other. They get closer to each
other, and in getting closer to each other, they
grow further away from other people
that were at one time very, very significant
in their lives, further away from friends,
further away from family. And so they spend less time
with the very people who could speak into
that relationship, and it's an important
accountability. So separation, let's go onto
the second pre-qualification, supplication, fancy
word for prayer. They prayed, and throughout
this whole chapter it's bathed in prayer. But I want you to notice
a very strange prayer. Verse 12, this is
now the servant commissioned to find the mate. Verse 12, "then he said, 'O
Lord God of my master Abraham, please give me
success to this day and show kindness to
my master Abraham. Behold here I stand
by the well of water, and the daughters of
the men of the city are coming out to draw water. Now let it be that the young
woman to whom I say please let down your pitcher that I
may drink,' and she says, 'drink and I will also
give your camels a drink- let her be the one that you
have appointed for your servant Isaac. By this I will know that
you have shown kindness to my master.'" Now I know your
thinking, oh, come on. That's never going to happen. But look at the
next verse, "and it happened, before he
had finished speaking, that behold Rebecca, who
was born to the Bethuel, son of Milcah, the wife of
Nahor, Abraham's brother, came out with her
pitcher on her shoulder. The young woman who was very
beautiful to be behold-- check-- a virgin, no
man had known her. She went down to the well,
filled her pitcher, came up. Servant ran down to
meet her and said, 'please, let me drink a little
water from your pitcher.' So she said, 'drink my lord.' Then she quickly let her
pitcher down to her hand and gave him a drink. And when she had finished
giving him a drink, she said, 'I will draw water for your
camels also until they have finished drinking.'" Now at this
point that's when all the ahh music came into his little head. Like, wow, this is
really happening. "Then she quickly emptied
her pitcher into the trough, ran back to the
well to draw water, and drew for all his camels. And the man wondering at
her remains silent so as to know whether the Lord had
made his journey prosperous or not." Now this is an
unusual prayer, right, because it's answered
before he can even say amen. Boom, she shows up. And he's going, no way,
and God's saying, way. So the whole chapter
begins essentially in prayer when Abraham places
his servant under an oath before God to do something. It continues in prayer as this
servant prays for success. Then after the Lord
answers his prayer-- we don't have time to
chase down all the verses-- but in verse 26 and
27, he bows down. He thanks God. He worships God for
answering his first prayer, and then the chapter
closes in prayer. Go down to verse 62. This is a few
months later they're traveling hundreds
of miles back home for this girl to be introduced
to her future husband, Isaac. Verse 62, "now Isaac came from
the way of Beer Lahai Roy, for he dwelt in the South. And Isaac went out to meditate
in the field in the evening. And he lifted his
eyes and looked, and there, the
camels were coming. Here comes the bride. Then Rebecca lifted up her
eyes, and when she saw Isaac she dismounted from her camel." What I want you to
notice in the text is the single word meditate. He was meditating in the field. That doesn't mean his
legs were crossed, his arms were out
like this going ahm. This is not
transcendental meditation. The word most rabbis believe,
even the ancient targums of Israel, the commentaries
on the scripture, translate this word pray. He was praying in the field. Meditating can be
translated to praying. The word means to seek
the Lord in solitude. So the chapter has
been bathed in prayer. The bride comes on the
scene, and there Isaac is in the field praying. You go why is he praying? Because he's getting married. That's why. That's why he was praying. He's going to make a commitment,
a lifelong commitment that has lifelong ramifications. You best be praying. You best be inviting God into
that relationship, and he does. He invites the Lord in. He is praying. So if you're single, I hope
you are praying regularly for your spouse that you're
going to meet someday. You're going believe me,
Skip, story of my life. I've been praying for that
guy for years, whoever it is. I pray it every day. Good, keep doing it. If you have children, pray
for their future spouse. I mean if you have
babies, day one, start praying for
their future spouse. When our son was
born, we immediately began praying for his
wife who would be Jenae. We didn't know her,
didn't know her name, but we prayed for
her way in advance. When you go out on your
first day together, open it in prayer. And the guys, lead it. Say, hey, let's pray before
we go anywhere to night. First thing you do in
the car, let's pray. Or if he didn't do it,
then gals remind him. Hey, would you
mind-- can we pray before we start this evening? Now I tell you what that does. It immediately raises the level
of the dating relationship to a spiritual level. It takes it from
the physical plane, how am I looking,
how am I doing, and raise it up
to the best level. And if you're looking for
an ice breaker, this is it. Like what do I say first? How about let's pray. That will break the ice. Now if there's resistance,
that's a red flag. If she goes, I don't to
pray, don't say get out then. But, you know. But if there's resistance,
that's a red flag. You see when a person prays and
you pray with somebody else, you are getting insight
into their relationship with God or not immediately. You're getting a read on
their relationship with God. So I think that's important. In fact, I always
ask engaged couples what role does God play
in your relationship? This is a pretty standard
boilerplate question for a pastor to ask. I remember one time years
ago I asked this of a couple. There wedding was this Saturday. I had met with them-- I was meeting with them
on a Friday the day before their wedding. I suppose that they had
gone through our classes, and so I asked the question. I said what role does God
play in your relationship? They looked at me like I
was a zombie, like what? I said, yeah, do you
read the Bible ever? Do you pray together? What role does God play? Can you just tell me how the
Lord has led your relationship? And this gal, future
bride, looked at me and she goes it's
none of your business. So I paused and I thought
how will I put this? I said, OK, so you guys-- you guys know I'm
a pastor, right. And so you've
probably figured I'm thinking that pastors
every now and then like to talk about God,
kind of, a no brainer. So here's the pastor
talking to you about God. What role does God play? And she was infuriated. She got up, and she
walked out of the room. Well, I did not feel comfortable
doing the wedding the next day, so I didn't. And I knew in-laws had come in,
and they had the parties set and it was set. But we did not do it here,
and I did not do the wedding. I don't know what
ever happened to them, but it didn't happen here. So there needs to be separation. There needs to be supplication. Here's the third principle,
selectivity, selectivity. Now I want you to go
over a few chapters. I mentioned chapter 29 as
well as 24, so go to the right a few blocks until
you get to chapter 29. We're fast forwarding
now an entire generation. This is now the next generation. The guy in play here
is not Isaac but Jacob. Jacob is himself wife hunting. It's the best way I
can put it, because he doesn't have a servant
finding a wife for him. He ran away from home, so
he's, kind of, on his own. He's wife hunting. And he comes to the old
country of his forefathers, and I'm going to take
you down to verse 9. He's at the well as well. He's there. That's, sort of, like town
central back in those days. So verse 9, "while he was
still speaking with them-- that is servants of Laban-- Rachel came with
her father's sheep, for she was the shepherdess. And it came to pass
when Jacob saw Rachel the daughter of Laban
his mother's brother and the sheep of Laban
his mother's brother, that Jacob went near-- so he's, kind of,
making the move now. He's going close-- And rolled the stone away
from the well's mouth-- getting a little closer,
kind of, like, hey, let me take care
of that for you-- and watered the flock of
Laban his mother's brother." Then watch this verse. "Then Jacob kissed Rachel." So that's pretty cool, right. He's getting real close to
her, moving the stone away, and now he's within
striking distance. So it's like moves it away
and [KISS SOUND] plants one right there
right by the well. But the rest of the verse. "Then Jacob kissed Rachel and
lifted up his voice and wept." Now come on, you guys should
be roaring in laughter right now because of that. That is one of the weirdest
verses in the whole Bible. What guy kisses a
girl and [CRY SOUND].. What? She's thinking, do
I have bad breath? Do I need to go home? That's just weird. I don't know. It's a long journey, hot sun. But he was the emotional type. If you remember
Jacob, he was the kid who, kind of, like
baked bread with his mom and wasn't outside much. I don't know what the deal is. Maybe he's just weeping for joy. So in verse 15-- go down a few verses-- "Laban said to Jacob,
'because you are my relative, should you therefore serve
me for nothing?'" So he wants to hang around. He wants to be with his
girl, and so he wants a job. "'So tell me,' he says,
'what should your wages be?' Now Laban had two daughters. The name of the elder was Leah. The name of the
younger was Rachel." That's the one he wants. He's selected her. He's picked her. "Leah's eyes were
delicate, but Rachel was beautiful of
form and appearance." OK, now stop right there. Jacob understood the culture. It is customary for
the oldest daughter to be married first,
not the second oldest. But he wants the second
oldest, not the oldest. They're both described
in that verse, verse 17. "Leah eyes were delicate. Rachel was beautiful in
form and appearance." Listen to that same verse in
the New Living Translation. "Leah had pretty
eyes, but Rachel was beautiful in every
way with a lovely face and a shapely figure." And he said, I want that one. He knew exactly what he wanted. He was making a selection. That one, he thought,
was perfect for me. Now speaking of
that, some of you are looking for the
perfect person, OK. There is no perfect person. There's a perfect
person for you. And you can argue is there
only one or are there many? Not going to get into that. But you won't find
somebody who is perfect. We have a name for people
looking for perfect people. They're called bachelors. And they just, sort of, stay
that way-- or bachelorette. It's like the guy who was
getting up there in age, and he had never married
and his friend said, how come you never married? He goes, well, I never
found the right gal. He goes, come on. The right gal? You've met plenty of gals. Surely one of them
must have been OK. He goes, well, there was one
girl, and she was perfect. He goes why didn't
you marry her? Because she was looking
for the perfect husband. So if you're looking for
perfection, not going to happen. But there is a perfect
one out there for you, and for Jacob, he saw Rachel
and that was perfect for him. That's what he thought. Now this does bring up an issue. What is it that attracts
people to people? What attracts us to each other? It's interesting how that
certain features in one person are attractive to one person
but not to another one. Now scientists
have studied this, and they call it love
mapping or a love map. That in your brain
you've got just the chemical
anatomical circuitry that causes a person to be
attracted to certain features of another person. You look and go, wow,
and you're drawn in. Some might even say that's
love at first sight. One of the experts of this
by the name of Helen Fisher said the issue of
love at first sight brings up the speculation
of a biological origin to this phenomenon. So some of you
are going awesome. I thought so. But wait, there's more. She adds this. In terms of human
courtship and marriage, several observations
are important. The infatuation phase-- that's
the wow phase at first-- the infatuation phase tends to
wane after four years or less. This may be in part a reflection
of the human brain's inability to stay in a revved up mode
over a long period of time. So folks this is
why the Bible says beauty is passing but a
woman who fears the Lord, she will be praised. There's more to it than
just the immediate. There's the eventual. A woman who fears the
Lord, she shall be praised. Rachel was not her
father's choice, as we're going to
see in a moment. Rachel was not even
his father's choice. His father came from
the same culture. First born girls always
get married first. So the dads, the families
wouldn't have agreed. However, that's the
one he selected. That's the one he wanted. That was his choice. In our culture of dating,
we choose our mates. So I'm just saying
to you, choose well. Be discriminate. Be careful. Select well. Yes, take others into
consideration, but that's not the be all end all of it. So if Jacob would
have say, well, I'm going to do whatever
my dad selectors or whoever her dad selects,
they wouldn't have got married. But that's the one he believed
was the right one for him. He had to live with that choice. Once upon a time
there was a young man who fell in love
with a young woman. He decided to bring her
home to meet his mother. His mother disliked the
young girl immensely and would not give the blessing
for this couple to continue. He disliked her-- she
disliked her and refused to give the blessing. Well, this frustrated
the young man. And so he found another
girl and brought her home. And the same thing happened. Mom rejected her. This happened three times. So now he's very exasperated. The young man in
desperation decides that he's going to find a girl
just like mom, and he does. He finds a young girl who walked
like his mom walked and talked like his mom talked and even
looked a lot like his mom. And he brought her home
to meet his mother. He thought surely my
mother will approve. Well, it didn't go very well. His father couldn't stand her. Moral of the story is if you
get married just because that's the one mom and
dad want me to have or my friends tell us we look
cute together as a couple, those are dumb reasons
to get married. You take others
into consideration, you bring them into
the relationship, but end of the day you
make the selection. You're going to
live with that girl. You're going to
live with that guy. So you make the right choice,
so separation, supplication, selectivity. A fourth, sacrifice, now you see
this in the next couple verses. Verse 18, "Jacob loved
Rachel, so he said, 'I will serve you
seven years for Rachel, your younger daughter.'"
Dude, come on. That sacrifice. Seven years for a chick. "And Laban said, "it is
better that I give it to you than that I should
give her to another man. Stay with me." Jacob knew exactly
what he wanted, but he's willing to wait. He's willing to sacrifice. He's willing to work
seven years in this case. I know a lot of
guys who would quit after a couple
unanswered phone calls, let alone wait seven years. Or one deep conversation,
meaningful conversation, I'm outta here. But he waits seven years. In fact, if you go
down to verse 20, it says "they seemed like a few
days to him because of the love that he had for her." now in spending
seven years working for future father-in-law
would not only give him a job, but it would give
him an opportunity to get close to
her, to observe her, to watch her family situation. The sacrifice was
worth the payoff. I'm going to learn a lot
about the family dynamic over a period of time. This would ensure
that this relationship is not based on hormones or
pheromones but godemones, right. God has to be involved,
and this has to work out and that seven years would
allow that to happen. By the way speaking of
patience and sacrifice, girls, if you're dating a guy
and he says something to you like, oh, I love
you so much, I just want to get physical with
you and have sex with you and I love you so much
I just can't wait, you drop him like a hot
potato and don't look back. Because love is patient
and love is kind. Every relationship
involves sacrifice. And I'm preaching
to the choir here, because if you're married,
you know it involves sacrifice on a number of levels. You sacrifice your
independence in part. You certainly sacrifice
self will a lot. You have to sacrifice
personal activities, solo plans, certain freedoms. You sacrifice spending your
money, spending your time. Let me add something
that you need to be willing to sacrifice. You need to be willing to
sacrifice the backdoor. I want to explain that. You know when you're
building a smart home and you have doors
and windows, there's one thing you want to
make sure you don't have in a smart home is a backdoor. If you have one,
seal it, shut it, don't let it-- don't
let it be used. The back door is divorce. If you go from dating
to mating, that's when you close the back door. You never allow divorce to be
brought up in a conversation. It was covenant my wife and
I made before we got married. We said we will never use the
word divorce even if we're really angry at each other. That's one no, no. We'll never use it. We'll never talk about it. We'll never joke about it. And it's never been brought up. So you close that backdoor. That's part of the sacrifice. I'm going from dating to
mating, close the backdoor. Now speaking of
sacrifice, that leads us to a fifth pre-qualification
principle that just, sort of, takes
sacrifice up a notch. It's called stamina. Because after all
this relationship needs to stand the test of time
if you've closed the back door. So back to our text,
seven years go by. It's wedding time, right. It's showtime, and you'll see
that Jacob can hardly wait. He has a wedding feast. But late at night,
father-in-law to be switches his daughters around
and instead of giving Rachel, gives her Leah. Verse 21, "then Jacob said to
Laban-- so seven years is up-- "Jacob said the Laban
'give me my wife.' OK, he's done, right. He's ready for marriage. "Give me my wife, for
my days are fulfilled that I may go into her." So he's pretty upfront
about this whole thing. "And Laban gathered together
all the men of the place and made a feast came
to pass in the evening that he took Leah his daughter
and brought her to Jacob and he went into her. Jacob gave his maid Zilpah to
his daughter Leah as a Maid. And so it came to pass
in the morning that behold it was Leah." Surprise, delicate eyes. "And he said to Laban, 'what is
this that you have done to me? Was it not for Rachel
that I served you? Why then have you deceived me?' And Laban said, it
must not be done. so in our country to give the
younger before the first born. Fulfill her week, and we will
give you this one also for this service, which you will serve
with me another seven years'-- another seven years-- then Jacob
did so and fulfilled her week. So she gave him his daughter
Rachel his wife also. So the next day,
he wakes up turns to the other pillow
and notices, wait a minute, that is not Rachel. That's not what I signed up for. That's not what I
worked seven years for. But it's her. Now some of you are
going, oh, come on. You mean he couldn't
tell the night before? Answer, no, he couldn't. He couldn't for
a couple reasons. Number one, there weren't
like wedding lights going on. There was like candlelight. It was dim, number one. Number two, brides in those
days were so heavily veiled, you wouldn't know what's
under that apparatus. So it's like I don't know. I'm trusting that's her. Come to find out the
next day it's not her. Dad kept her away
and substituted Leah. So 14-- not seven-- 14 stinking long years of work
for Laban to get this woman. Text that comes to mind
1 Corinthians 13, love suffers long. Oh, he's suffering, and
he's suffering a long time. Love suffers long. Love bears all things. Love endures all things. Love never fails. That's stamina. Love never fails. Well, I don't feel the same. Love never fails. I made a commitment. This is stamina talking. We're in it to win it. We're in it for the long haul. I don't feel the same. That's stamina. It never fails. A common pitfall with
couples-- we see it a lot. You see it a lot-- is deciding too quickly
or rebounding too quickly after a bad past relationship
or a previous relationship, rebounding too quickly
the second time. Any couple that says
they're ready for marriage after meeting each other,
knowing each other two weeks or a month, red flag, red flag. It is much easier to
get into a relationship than it is to live
through a relationship. And since you are
doing this to live through a relationship
over the long haul, you may want to slow down. In fact, did you know that
risk of marital failure is reduced notably by
longer dating periods. That should be no
surprise to anyone. A lot of studies have been done. Kansas State
University said, and I quote, "a strong correlation
between the length of time spent dating their
current spouses and marital satisfaction
can be seen. Also couples who have dated
for more than two years score consistently higher in
terms of marital satisfaction." That just makes sense,
because it's all about coming to the place of stamina. You can't be revved up. Four years, the rev goes down. So there's got to be
something more than just rev to keep you going. Now I want to close with a
letter, an excerpt of a letter. Here's what's going
to surprise you. It's an amazing letter to me. One of the most I've ever--
amazing I've ever read. This is written by a man
in his 20s, his early 20s to his fiance, and
before they get married he feels compelled
to write this letter. Now just think of a
young man in their 20s-- some of you guys I'm
looking at in your 20s-- imagine yourself writing this. He writes to his sweetheart. I want you to know and be fully
aware concerning the marriage covenant which we
are about to enter, I have been taught from my
mother's knee and in harmony with the word of God that the
marriage vows are inviolable, and that by entering
into them I am binding myself absolutely and for life. I am not naive concerning this. On the contrary,
I am fully aware that mutual incompatibility or
other unforeseen circumstances could result in extreme
mental suffering. This is a love note. This guy says I'm not dumb. I'm not blind. I have seen
relationships, and I know that entering into
this it will be and might be very difficult for
myself or for you or for both of us. If such becomes the case,
I am resolved for my part to accept it as a consequence
of the commitment we are now making and to bear it if need
be to the end of our lives together. Wow. I have loved you dearly as
a sweetheart I will love you as my wife But above
everything else, I love you with the
Christian love that demands we never
act in such a way so as to hinder our
prospects of entering heaven which is the supreme
desire of both of our lives. Isn't that a great
way to say I love you? That's stamina talking. That's sacrifice that
leads to stamina. That's a prerequisite. By the way, the man
who wrote this letter was Jim Dobson's father. Wrote this letter before they
were married to his mother. And I remember reading
this before I got married, and it was this
letter that cemented what a Christian
marriage is to be and that's what we entered
into with that understanding. Now as we close this service,
do you know the believers in the Bible,
Christian believers are called the bride of Christ. Isn't that a wonderful
term of relationship, the bride of Christ? In fact, Paul says you
are engaged to Jesus. You are a spouse to Jesus. All of that language is
not religious language. It's relational language. It is God saying I'm
madly in love with you, and I want to enter into a
personal relationship with you. I want to be a
part of your life. I want to be the central
part of your life, and I can handle what
you have to offer. Just give me that
place of throneship. Now when you date somebody,
it's a process of discovery. You're discovering
who that person is. You find out they're great and
other places, kind of, weird. It's like, boy, he snorts or she
burps or whatever it might be. But you work your way through
all those discoveries. Here's the thing
about God who wants to enter into a
relationship with you and calls you the
bride of Christ, he didn't have to date you. He knows all about you,
and he still loves you. He accepts you the way
you are, and he's just saying accept my love for you. I'm going to give
you that opportunity. Let's bow in a word of prayer. Father, thank you
for your love for us. It is an everlasting
love, as you said to Jeremiah the prophet. Before we even knew
what love meant or was or how it's experience,
you've loved us. And your love includes
wanting to make us your children by faith. You love us so much
that you gave your son to pay the penalty for our
sins that if we would just turn to you and trust you, you'd
forgive us and make us your son or daughter and take
us with you to heaven. As we're closing in
prayer, most of us have our heads bowed
and eyes closed. I'm going to keep mine open
and my head up for a minute, and I'll tell you why. I'm going to give you an
opportunity if you've never received Christ
personally, individually, authentically as Lord and Savior
to give you that opportunity. You know, a lot of
times people are looking for the right
people, and we, kind of, skip over the step of I've
got to be the right person. And the right person
you need to be is a Christian man
or a Christian woman. You need your sins forgiven. You need to know that when you
die, you're going to heaven. And that's where you start. You start on that level. God accept me as I am,
and I receive your son in payment of my sin. So if you have never
given your life to Christ, I'm going to give
you that opportunity. Or if you once had some
experience or a relationship with him, but you've
walked away from Him and you're not
living in obedience, it's a chance for you
to come back home. Build on the foundation. So if you're willing to do
that, to give Jesus your life and take him as your Savior. If you've never done
that personally, I want to give you
that opportunity. I want you to raise your
hand up in the air high. Keep it up there
for a minute, what you're saying by raising your
hand is Skip pray for me. Here's my hand. I want-- I want to know Jesus. I want to be cleansed. I want to be saved. I want to be a son or
daughter of the living God. If you've not done that, then
receive him now into your life. And if you want to
do that, indicate so by raising your hand up. Just keep it up
for a moment, God bless you right over here
to my right, right up front. Don't be afraid to do that. Toward the back and to my left. In the balcony, thanks for
that hand way up there. I love that. Right in the back
right there to my left. Right over here to my left
and in the family room, a couple of you. Father, thank you for each
one so precious to you. I pray that you would bring life
change in Jesus' name, Amen. Let's all stand. As we sing this
final song I'm going to ask those of you who raised
your hands whether you're in the family room
or balcony or close to get up from where
you are right now and find the nearest aisle
and stand right up here where in just a moment I'm going
to lead you in a prayer to receive Jesus as Savior. You're going to make it public. You're going to
make it personal. That's how Jesus called
people in the New Testament. So please don't be-- you're
going to see how encouraging it is when you do this. If you're in the family
room, go through these doors and make your way right up here. If you're in the balcony,
come down the steps. We're going to wait
for you to come. So no matter where you
are, whether you're in the back or the
side just make your way and stand right up here. I'm going to lead you
in a prayer in a moment when you come. (SINGING) I surrender all. I surrender all. All to thee my blessed
savior I surrender it all. Oh, I surrender all. I surrender all. All to thee my blessed savior. I surrender all. We'll wait just another moment. We're about to close, but
again, make your way here. If you're outside, we'll
be leading you this way. I didn't see anybody
outside, because I can't see outside but
there's a pastor close who would walk you this way. If you're anywhere
in the auditorium, just find the nearest aisle
or in the middle of a row just to say excuse me. And somebody will be there
to take you this way. (SINGING) Oh, I
surrender it all. I surrender all. All to thee my blessed
saviour, I surrender it all. All to thee my blessed
savior I surrender it all. Well, let's do that. Let's surrender all right now. Yes, please come on over. So those of you
who have come, I'm going to lead you in a prayer. I'm going to ask you to pray
these words out loud after me. Say them from your heart. Mean them from your heart
as you receive Christ, OK. Let's pray together. Say, Lord, I give you my life. I know that I'm a sinner. Please forgive me. I believe in Jesus
that he died on a cross for me, that he shed
his blood for my sin, and that he rose
again from the dead. I turn from my past. I repent of my sin. I turn to Jesus the Savior. Help me to follow him as Lord. It's in his name I pray, amen. We hope you enjoyed this message
from Skip Heitzig of Calvary Church. How will you put the truths
that you learned into action in your life. Let us know. Email us at
mystory@calvarynm.church. And just a reminder, you can
support this ministry with a financial gift
calvarynm.church/gift. Thank you for joining us for
this teaching from Calvary Church.
