MY FIRST GUEST IS A SCOTSMAN YOU
KNOW FROM "OLYMPUS HAS FALLEN," "P.S. I LOVE YOU," AND, OF
COURSE, "300." PLEASE WELCOME TO "THE LATE
SHOW," GERARD BUTLER. <i> ( APPLAUSE )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )</i> >> HELLO! >> Stephen: WELCOME. WELCOME TO THE FRIENDLY CONFINES
OF "THE LATE SHOW." NICE TO MEET YOU. >> NICE TO MEET YOU, TOO. CAN I-- CAN I CALL YOU-- IS IT
GERARD OR THE FRENCH WAY OF SAYING IT? HOW DO YOU DO IT? GERARD. >> GERRY IT BETTER. IN SCOTLAND IT'S JERD! >> Stephen: IT SOUNDS ANGRY. >> IT IS ANGRY. WE'RE ANGRY PEOPLE. IN AMERICA, ESPECIALLY IF
THEY'RE ASKING A QUESTION, THEY GO, "SO GERARD..." FOR ME IT'S
DONE. TENTH OF A SECOND IT SHOULD BE
OVER. HALF THE UNDERVIEW IS DONE AND
WE'RE STILL ON GERARD. IF AMERICANS TRY TO SAY IT LIKE
A SCOTTS PERSON THEY GO GER AD. >> Jon: HIT ME ONE MORE TIME. >> IN SCOTTISH JERD. >> Stephen: YOU SHOULD SAY IT
LIKE YOU'RE NOT SURE WHAT THE GUYS NAME IS. >> EXACTLY. >> Stephen: COULD YOU TEACH ME
A SCOTTISH WORD OR A SCOTTISH PHRASE THAT WOULD BE USEFUL FOR
ME TO WHIP OUT. >> LET ME BAIL YOU A HEAP. >> Stephen: A WE BAILIARD
HEAP. >> THAT'S VERY GOOD. IT MEANS GO AWAY AND BOIL YOUR
HEAD. IT MEANS YOU'RE TALKING
NONSENSE. >> Stephen: IT SOUNDS-- IT
SOUNDS NOTHING LIKE THAT! IT MEANS HOW IT SOUNDS. >> THIS IS ME SINCE YESTERDAY. THIS IS ME SINCE YESTERDAY. >> Stephen: MEANING WHAT? >> WHICH KIND OF MEANS, LIKE,
I'VE BEEN IN THE SAME-- LIKE I'M STILL IN THE SAME MOOD. SO IF YOU'RE ANGRY-- OR EVEN IT
COULD BE CLOTHES. IT COULD BE EMOTION OR CLOTHES. YOU GO, "THIS IS ME SINCE
YESTERDAY." >> Stephen: MEANING LIKE I'VE
JUST BEEN IN THIS KIND OF BAD NEWS. I'M IN A FUNK. >> YOU LOOK TERRIBLE. "THIS IS ME SINCE YESTERDAY." YOU DON'T LOOK TERRIBLE. YOU LOOK AMAZING. >> Stephen: YOU LOOK GOOD. YOU DON'T LOOK THIS GOOD. YOU DON'T LOOK THIS GOOD. BUT YOU LOOK PRETTY GOOD. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> HOW-- HOW DO YOU KNOW. >> Stephen: WHAT? >> HOW DO YOU KNOW? >> Stephen: PROVE IT RIGHT
NOW. THERE'S ONE WAY TO PROVE IT. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
YOU GO FIRST. >> I HAVE NO NEED TO PROVE
MYSELF. >> Stephen: HOW MUCH OF THIS
YOU STILL GOT GOING ON? HOW MUCH GOING ON? HOW MUCH OF THAT? POINT TO THE PARTS THAT STILL
EXIST. <i> ( LAUGHTER ).</i> >> YOU'RE RIGHT. NO. >> Stephen: THE HEAD. >> THE HEAD. I STILL HAVE THE CAPE. >> Stephen: YOU STILL HAVE THE
CAPE. IT'S MOSTLY MAKEUP, THOUGH. IT'S MOSTLY MAKEUP. IT'S PROSTHETICS. >> NO IT'S NOT! >> Stephen: MY MAKEUP TEAM
COULD MAKE ME LOOK LIKE THIS IN HALF AN HOUR. I FOUND OUT BEFORE YOU WERE--
AND THIS SHOCKED ME A LITTLE BIT-- YOU WERE A LAWYER. >> YES. >> Stephen: YOU WERE GERRY
BUTLER ESQUIRE. >> YES, I WAS. >> Stephen: HOW LONG WERE YOU
A LAWYER? >> WELL, IT DEPENDS WHAT YOU
MEAN BY "A LAWYER." HOW LONG WAS I --
>> Stephen: PRACTICING LAW. >> PRACTICING LAW. I STUDIED LAW FOR FIVE YEARS. AND THEN I TRAINED AS A LAWYER
FOR TWO YEARS. >> Stephen: SEVEN YEARS. THAT IS A BIBLICAL LENGTH OF
TIME. >> IT IS, IT IS, YEAH. JUST THE RIGHT AMOUNT TO OF TIME
TO COMPLETELY MESS IT ALL UP. YEAH, SO BASICALLY, I STUDIED--
I TRAINED WITH THIS BIG FIRM IN SCOTLAND, QUEENS SOLICITORS,
ANDREW CARNEGIE'S ESTATE. I WENT IN, I ACTUALLY ALMOST
MISSED MY-- THEY WERE THE LAST BIG FIRM TO INTERVIEW, AND AND I
MISSED MY INTERVIEW BECAUSE OF MY LAST EXAM, I GOT COMPLETELY
DRUNK, I WOKE UP -- >> Stephen: YOU FINISHED YOUR
EXAM, AND TO CELEBRATE YOU WENT AND GOT PISSED. >> I WENT AND GOT PISSED AND
MISSED THIS BIG INTERVIEW. I SAID I'LL TELL THEM I MISSED
IT. AND THEY SAID YOU CAN STILL MAKE
IT. GET ON THE TRAIN. I GET ON THE TRAIN AND I WAS SO
HUNG OVER. I GOT THE JOB. THREE OF US GOT THE JOB OUT OF
175 PEOPLE. >> Stephen: BEFORE YOU GO ON,
I HAVE TO STOP THE YOU RIGHT HERE. IF YOU TRAIN SEVEN YEARS FOR
SOMETHING, WHY THEN ARE YOU NOT TRYING TO GET A JOB IN THE THING
YOU TRAINED FOR SEVEN YEARS? AT WHAT POINT IN THE SEVEN YEARS
DID YOU-- DID IT OCCUR TO YOU I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS AND KEEP
GOING? >> AT THE END OF THE SEVEN
YEARS. >> Stephen: LIKE, WHILE YOU
WERE DRINKING THE NIGHT BEFORE? >> PROBABLY, YEAH, I THINK THAT
WAS PARTLY-- LISTEN, THAT'S ACTUALLY A GREAT QUESTION
BECAUSE YOU STUDY LAW YOU SPEND A LOT OF YEARS DOING THAT AND
YOU THINK, "I SHOULD DO THE NEXT THING. I SHOULD DO MY DIPLOMA BECAUSE I
DID MY DEGREE. AND IF I'VE DONE MY DIPLOMA, I
SHOULD DO THE TREATYSHIP"-- >> Stephen: THERE ARE ALL
THESE SUNK COSTS SO YOU CAN'T GET OUT OF IT. >> EXACTLY. AND YOU FIND YOURSELF SUDDENLY
WORKING IN A LAW FIRM AND YOU FOLLOW THAT THROUGH, AND YOU
THINK I CAN SEE MYSELF NOW AT RETIREMENT AGE HAVING DONE
SOMETHING IN TRUTH I DON'T CARE ABOUT. I HAVE NO INTEREST IN THIS. AND THAT'S KIND OF WHERE IT ALL
STARTED GOING WRONG. WHEN I WAS TRAINING AS A LAWYER
I WASN'T DOING A VERY GOOD JOB. >> Stephen: YOU GOT THE GIG. >> I GOT THE GIG, YES. AND I HAD BEEN PRESIDENT OF THE
LAW SOCIETY WHEN I WAS STUDYING. >> Stephen: WOW. >> I WAS A BIT OF A HIGH FLYER,
UNTIL I STARTED WORKING AND THE REALITY SET IN THAT THIS WAS NOT
FOR ME. AND I ENDED UP BECOMING-- I'M
VERY PROUD OF THIS-- THE FIRST TRAINEE LAWYER EVER IN THE
HISTORY OF THE SCOTTISH LEGAL SYSTEM TO BE FIRED BEFORE HE
QUALIFIED. <i> ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE )</i> BECAUSE I-- THANK YOU! PRECISELY. >> Stephen: HOW DID YOU-- HOW
DID YOU-- HOW DID YOU-- HOW DID YOU MANAGE THAT? >> WELL, IT WASN'T JUST A
ONE-OFF THING. IT TOOK A LOT OF WORK<i>
( LAUGHTER ).</i> >> Stephen: YOU'RE LIKE A GUY
WHO IS TRYING TO GET HIS GIRLFRIEND TO BREAK UP WITH HIM. >> YES. >> Stephen: SO HE'S A JERK FOR
ABOUT SIX MONTHS. >> THAT'S ABOUT WHAT IT WAS. I MISSED ABOUT 32 DAYS' WORK IN
ABOUT TWO YEARS, AND I THINK 25 OF THEM WERE FRIDAYS, AND FIVE
OF THEM WERE MONDAYS AND THE FINAL-- AND I WAS GIVEN WARNING
AFTER WARNING, AND FINALLY THEY CALLED ME UP NAND SAID, "JERRY,
GIVE US ONE GOOD REASON NOT TO-- NOT TO-- THAT WE SHOULDN'T FIRE
YOU." AND I SAID, "I CAN'T THINK OF
ANY REASON THAT YOU SHOULDN'T FIRE ME. I WOULD FIRE ME, TOO." AND THEY SAID OKAY. THEY ALSO-- YOUR DREAMS LIE
ELSEWHERE. THIS IS NOT WHAT YOU WERE-- THEY
KNEW WHAT I WANTED TO DO. >> Stephen: NOW YOU'RE A MOVIE
STAR. >> NOW I'M A MOVIE STAR. THEY SAID, "GO BE A MOVIE STAR." >> Stephen: MOST LAWYERS WHO
STOP BEING LAWYERS ARE A MOVIE STAR. YOUR NEW MOVIE IS CALLED "HUNTER
KILLER," AND YOU'RE ON A SUBMARINE AND YOU PLAY THE
CAPTAIN. HOW OFTEN IN THE MOVIE DO WE
HEAR THE SOUND PINK! EVERY SUBMARINE-HAS TO HEAR THAT
SOUND, PING! >> EVERY SUBMARINE MEANS A
CONTROL ROOM, IT NEEDS CLAXONS --
>> Stephen: THIS GUY HAS THE TERMS DOWN. >> AND YOU HAVE THE SOUND OF
WARSHIP S. >> Stephen: CAPTAIN, I'M
HEARING CAVITATION. >> IS THAT WHAT IT IS? >> Stephen: THE SOUND OF THE
PROPELLER, WHEN THE BUBBLES COME OFF OF IT, THAT'S CALLED
CAVITATION. >> I KNEW THAT. CAVITATION. EXACTLY. >> Stephen: JUST SAYING. I'M JUST SAYING. PING! <i> ( LAUGHTER )</i>
WE HAVE A CLIP HERE. WHAT'S HAPPENING IN THE CLIP. SOMETHING BAD. SOMETHING BAD OR GOOD, BUT IT'S
VERY DRAMATIC. >> I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S
HAPPENING. I DON'T KNOW WHAT CLIP YOU'RE
SHOWING -- >> Stephen: THE BEST ONE. WEARING SHOWING THE BEST CLIP. IMAGINE A CLIP THAT IS GREAT
DIDN'T OF BUT DOESN'T GIVE ANYTHING AWAY. >> WHICH COULD BE THE CLIP. >> Stephen: OKAY. >> I THINK THIS IS US TRYING TO
NAVIGATE OUR WAY THROUGH -- >> Stephen: GIVE ME ONE REASON
WHY I SHOULDN'T FIRE YOU RIGHT NOW. >> I CAN'T GIVE YOU ONE REASON. >> Stephen: JERRY. >> WE'RE GOING TO RUN STRAIGHT
AT THEM. >> TAMPA BAY, SIR? >> IF I HAVE TO SAY EVERYTHING
TWICE WE'RE NOT GOING TO MAKE IT. GIVE THE BEARINGS. WHEN I TELL YOU, PULL UP WITH
EVERYTHING. >> 200 FEET! >> RED SOUNDING. >> RED SOUNDING. >> 1-5-0. 100 FEET! >> REPEAT, RED SOUNDING. >> 7-5. 50 FEET, 40 FEET. >> CAPTAIN! >> 40 FEET. 2-5! >> RIGHT FULL RUDDER. >> RIGHT FULL RUDDER. RIGHT, CAPTAIN. >> Stephen: THAT'S NOT GOOD. THAT'S NOT GOOD. THAT WAS BAD. <i> ( APPLAUSE )</i>
GERRY, LOVELY TO MEET YOU, THANKS FOR BEING HERE. >> LOVELY TO MEET YOU, TOO. >> Stephen: "HUNTER KILLER" IS
IN THEATERS THIS FRIDAY. GERARD BUTLER, EVERYBODY! WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
