George Carlin On a Bullshit Hunt Describes Food Advertising Bullshit

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[Applause] now I'm going to lighten up a little bit we're gonna go back to advertising and we're gonna go on a little bullshit hunt little bullshit hunt gonna look at some advertising lingo especially food advertising you know the people fresh natural hearty old-fashioned homemade goodness in a can that kind of stuff so let's let's take a look let's take a look at some of these words old-fashioned when you hear old-fashioned you're supposed to think oh this goes back to the old days right the old days before we had sanitation laws before hygiene became popular back when botulism was still considered a sauce old-fashion is supposed to give you a warm feeling make you think about your grandmother I don't know about you but when I'm picking out food I don't want to be picturing 90 pounds of wrinkles in a black dress with a big hairy mole sticking out in an infected lip Oh fashion then you have homemade homemade you see this on the packages in the supermarkets folks believe me it is physically impossible for a food processing plant to produce anything homemade I don't care if the CEO is living in the basement and cooking on a hot plate it's not gonna happen then you shouldn't be eating processed foods and packaged foods anyway they're no good for you you know how I stopped eating processed foods I started picturing the people who were doing the processing next time you're in the bus and you see some guy with gangrene on his hands just picked him on the assembly line putting little pieces of chicken in a box that'll cure you then go home and eat some fucking grapes homemade you see homemade in the restaurants to homemade soup I don't care how much the amphetamine driven waitress with the Marlboro lines in her face remind you of your mother the soup is not homemade unless someone is living in the kitchen and if that's the case I want to get a good look at this motherfucker I want to check this guy for lesions carbuncles and potato pink eye and ringworm and head lice then you have homestyle homestyle when the advertising imbeciles realize that home made sounds too full of shit they got a homestyle homestyle flavor huh whose home are we talking about Jeffrey Dahmer's believe me there's nothing a home style about the boiled head of a Cambodian teenager okay even if you sprinkle parsley on the hair [Applause] at anytime they add the word style to another word someone is pulling your prick old style goodness what does that mean nothing it means nothing New York style deli means it's not located in New York that's all it means or they wouldn't have to say it in the first place it's located in Calgary and the owners from Hong Kong and the food taste like things that the Bangladeshis throw away Chicago style pizza means the night manager once changed planes at O'Hare family-style restaurant you know what that means these is an argument going on in every table two people are crying and the eldest male is punching the women families then you have gourmet here's another word the advertising cretins have completely wiped their asses with gourmet gourmet dining in a cup gourmet cuisine in a can by the way whatever you hear cuisine and place of food be prepared to pay an extra 80% who main rolls gourmet coffee gourmet pizza these things do not exist you want to know a gourmet food toasted snail penises candied moose balls deep-dish yak dick who me here's another full of shit food word hearty hearty soup is hearty breakfast is hearty you know what I do when I hear the word hearty I look at the label hmm 300 grams of saturated fat hearty as in heart attack it's the same with buttery and lemony and chocolatey real chocolatey goodness nor that means no fucking chocolate and beware when they add the word flavored to another word lemon flavored drink now fucking lemons as a pet food now refers to itself as a chicken flavored treat well the dog doesn't know what chicken is he might like it if you give it to him he's not gonna say oh god I was hoping we have chicken again and by the way chicken flavored treat right now fucking shit zesty and tangy zesty and tangy are not real words that normal human beings use in conversation they're advertising words give us some eternity and say this is real zesty and tangy too now one more food word before I completely change the subject on you natural this is directed to all you health food fiends and environmental nitwits and yuppie cocksuckers who are running around in your natural fibrous your natural fibers the word natural is completely meaningless everything is natural nature includes everything it's not just trees and flowers it's everything a chemical companies toxic waste is completely natural it's part of nature we're all part of nature everything is natural dogshit is natural it's just not real good food

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Channel: mordy43

Views: 683,639

Rating: 4.8682342 out of 5

Keywords: george, carlin, comedy, funny, food, bullshit, humor, comedian, routine, sketch, words, television show, stand-up, society

Id: 1c04M7JfuK8

Channel Id: undefined

Length: 7min 8sec (428 seconds)

Published: Tue Jun 28 2011

Reddit Comments

this is better: https://youtu.be/AtK_YsVInw8

👍︎︎ 1 👤︎︎ u/[deleted] 📅︎︎ Aug 09 2017 🗫︎ replies