Funny Moments In Gospel Volume II!

[Applause] I got a little test I got a little test I'm gonna see if y'all really come up in the church I'm gonna say something and if you really came up in the church you had a proper response okay here's the test right here little Lord he heard my cry [Music] [Applause] some church folk in him [Applause] [Music] the lobster price and that's a good thing right that's a beautiful thing but I don't want especially these like soul singers need to be in the church a little while before they start singing gospel you know get some get some minion cuz like that be on the stage like here tonight and forget where they are oh no you far away baby come on man hold on dude you look teaching in first round get where you are then Church young people love me ja rule coming to church what would I be without you you know your word is true and I will never be lonely because Jesus Christ you're my only yeah yeah [Music] [Applause] [Applause] if I won't say that mother Tim one minute daddy's right you get your lamp I'm gonna go there just for the laugh but it's a place to visit laughs at church no charge ain't funny but the people in the pews will crack you I wonder same answer I'm gonna give you some examples of some of the people interviews you ever sat behind this brother and what is your straight-up fallout laughing how about that one little really just bad kid there's just one in every Church the bet just give us a sec behind that one gear to see what happens Hey hey is that your wife my mama's dead they're not just saying later you had at church last week little bad kid how about the usher there used to be a patrol car [Applause] how about the lady how about the lady who gives it the church announcement to everybody loved was she just a little bit old lady just love it and get Myrna and cherry I said good morning cherry hundred eases Ivor now miss is you were young girl ain't got nothing to do on Tuesday honey you ought to come on and join the Earthship burger better yo mama early your grandmama earth sure everybody Earthship all you need is the black skirt and would the god Here I am [Applause] papa how about the deacon how about the deacon and leaves you in this song and you'll know what he's saying what you're just doing in any way [Laughter] [Applause] come on singing I see that for pretty thin if it is far five thank you [Applause] and and my personal favorite is the man that tries to fool you want you to think he's been to the Juilliard School of Music brother just be true to yourself he ends up sounding just like the Cowardly Lion from The Wizard of Oz [Music] we're shells Oh [Music] Oh [Applause] [Music] we are part you conjured [Applause] [Music] come on [Music] [Applause] no I on our way Lou you know Tristan confident you know I start off on the other side I believe I see a few witnesses can I start I don't know the fat but mama spent with me you know she told me she supported me until I can't even brought it on in but you know every time you know they had a revival she was trying to invite me on in trying to get me real saying yeah cuz you know how they're kind of saying you know saying with you some stuff I still trying to hold on to you know that kind of say you'd be saved but not quite deliver video better that's where I was you know real tiny hair reviled let me invite me out baby what you're doing is sweet I said I'm working every night what's the hair at about the Reviver I'm the Amanda Hattie on the radio oh okay oh you in town I see okay then she said well what time you get finished it's like I found I can finish round 10 she's got me she said well you know we still being serviced don't you just stick your head in the dough it's okay mom you know you gotta please mom so I tried to get to the truck you know he's about 12 but you know I'm trying to get there for the catfish dinner called the mother board did not play you could get three pieces of catfish coleslaw hitch forget it for $3 and the sweet tea was free are you I'm trying to get done well okay it's done I get to the church midnight right I see the nice tonight well maybe they can ready out of benediction come on I walk in each other people running around in circle jumping over whew Capricia hand even got up yet I'm awaiting them out so I go I sit on the back pew I'm waiting out any the preacher got up yeah set up new stuff every y'all sat down Santa give me babe now I'm on the back row but I do like everybody who is that you - just coming a Kimmy daughter come in walking down I'm like I said Lord okay oh you don't let him and knock me down I get down in Cherno he had a word from God so he told me what God heads but everything that God didn't tell him what I said before I knew you I was on the flow and yeah I promised my lady I don't know where just came over me alright alright getting another another native campus with no reason I should just stop the enemy appreciated that one good now but I call resting in the Lord honey when I woke up search was over but nobody there with me and I see ladies and they're just walking by me God is really gonna work on us I turned over a see you got a big shout I mean you show they'll fill you up and shout you give me a rundown out and you saw somebody becoming an hour going on hey guys take this route right this book a little cyfle now you go to us as we look out for you don't think they make sure don't happen to you I don't shout unless I got it oh shit wit me I fear this fear I black oh can I get us over here please yeah I fear dispute thank you baby what [Applause] us is gonna look out for and they would say our prom you know uncle Christ so what I did I got me a job at the church cuz I figured that would give me an instant and then what is it money yeah that's it a reason to beat it on a regular basis so I started paying the drums in the church you know thinking that came easy to me I was already a little tomboy so you know I played wrong and it was easy because I played doing testimony service down the autumn songs go to the same beat anyway only problem I had when the older women like to make up their own song and didn't get mad at me cuz I can't keep up with him I'm gonna hang now you doin over there freestyling you don't own the one in here in other words the hold on Jesus I'd be there I'm in hockey the diabeetus in a minute and my grandmom sees the remix Jesus on the main line I know y'all know the traditional version go Jesus on the mainland oh Jesus on the mainland 69 any you know when they testify they explain it's on a tomato she said you know Jesus might call you but you might not be there but don't worry all you gotta do is fall six to nine in back they see one you want [Applause] now y'all know how preachers they be maybe preaching and then after they preach they follow and said like a prophetic anointing and it's just have a sign anybody miss Bridget be that he finished pretty cloudy you you you you so in it being like twenty people in the land and I was first you know I'm saying I'll see the closer to the front so I end up first in the line he was proper sign to me he's like look everybody gets in look everybody look at but it will halt it I don't know what we're going on with him I don't know he just ate our onion garlic so you know it's hard to spell something like that in the face you know and I would turn out okay okay but I want to be submissive so I'm looking at [Applause] you know you trying to look at that you know face it on you know tearing up so you know once you blink this it you know tear the wrong but altar workers didn't have a clue they say oh she's really received and she is really Racine I'm like yeah but I don't know what and I'm not a selfish person I mean I'm sue then I took it like a woman a boy I stood strong but I didn't want these people behind me to go through what I was going through I began to seek wisdom know what's going on without causing the scene without embarrassing in the back let them know deep and it came to me I know same way it came from buddy came to me we oughta my car told me it came to me I said i'ma tell him in another language [Applause] [Music] so we finished Papa Santa suffice it chamomile peppermint [Applause] to God in Christ what an honor to be with you okay I don't know if y'all know but I always tell a joke before I start and I wasn't going to do it tonight two or three people told me to but I hope it's not out of place but it's okay to laugh in church in it but I heard about this lady she was on an airplane the man sitting next to and she was reading her Bible the men sitting next to her said you don't believe all that stuff in there do you she said of course I do it's the Bible he said well what about that guy that got swallowed by a well she said you mean Jonah yes I believe that too he said well how could he possibly live that long inside of well she thought about it said I don't know when I get to heaven I'll have to ask him he said sarcastically what if he's not in heaven she said then you're going to have to ask [Applause] okay I'm gonna tell you one more since where we sit right now on top see if you laugh I'll tell you more now I'll tell you one more this is my favorite one my favorite one this man called the office he said I want to speak to the head hog at the trough the secretary was offended she said if you mean the pastor you're going to have to call him pastor but you may not call him the head hog at the trough he said well that's fine but I was thinking about making a $5,000 donation to your church she said hang on porky just walked in all right I'm done I'm done no more the last one we used to walk through our tithes and offering in arm so I used to see it many people were huffing and puffing and I had gotten gained so much weight we gain so much weight you think somebody's following you but it's you I was like OMG it was my goodness and mercy follow me all the days of my life so in New York good schools we go to the last day of June whatever the last day of June was business day we would go to school into the end of that day we go there get our report cards and then we'd have our talent show in the middle of the day we put a record play on now some of y'all don't remember records where we had a record player it had Motown in the middle of it and had a little disk in the middle of that and then we put a dime on the needle to hold it down so wouldn't skip then we put on our Apple Jacks and we be Michael Jackson in the Jackson 5 and then we put on Diana Ross and The Supremes guess who was Diana Ross stop in the name of love before you break my heart thinking over having I've been good to you then we get our report closer and we'd go home and our parents would have a suitcase ready for us because they would send us what they called down south so that we might learn about our maternal and our paternal grandparents and so we'd be on the bus either Greyhound were they left to drive in to us or Trailways I was at railway baby and so we provide all night if we'd have a shoebox filled with fried chicken wrapped in aluminum four pound cake come on baby you're looking at a pound cake mama every pound gave them a piece of pound cake then we have ham sandwiches a white wonder bread with mayonnaise and we'd freeze four sodas all night long and we get down to Monroe North Carolina there my grandmother be waiting there for me next to her would be her sister best and then there'd be three cousins they all had double names Bessie Mae and Lula Mae and Willie Joe and big boy and then at the end would be eight Mis ain't miss was a snuff dip in hot so she'd have snuff juice all down her chin they said come on give everybody a kid the same kissing a man they say i'ma get my switch you will have to get the whole tree come on this is post-traumatic stress for kids then we ride into town at the Concorde and they had Viking chairs on the porch and they'd be rocking they either had lemonade or sweet tea I realized why they called it sweet tea cuz they pulled a five-pound bag of sugar and the sweet tea I used to think they were rocking because of the rocking chairs they were rocking because of the sugar they didn't know what day it was where they was they said Ronnie and Susie are here okay okay go kill one of the chickens I will have some food tonight then we go inside and it'd be a black and white TV 9-inch with five channels they take the foil from the chicken and they put it on the antenna so we get a satellite come on am I the only one don't try to perfect rate you ain't always had a 52 inch color TV plasma screen nah ask me what's filling up the churches can I use y'all preacher stand up on this front this is what's still in the church is up yeah I see I see come see me up side come take him in the ocean I see yes I see you in that big white house colony and I see this blue carpet all over the floor God say it's gonna give you to you I see you in that brand new rose was [Applause] I see you gonna come into some money yeah I see it's gonna happen within six months Oh come see me outside come kick him in the ocean yes yes yes I see you're gonna have a thousand members by the end of the year I see oh I see God doing it yeah I see you coming into a lot of property I don't know where it is I know they don't before you take your seat I know protocol and I'll get to it in just a second but because I'm gonna be speaking and running not because I want to because you've got some dynamite activities planned this weekend and I wish I could stay but I gotta catch a red-eye flight tonight and be back east by in the morning so I'm gonna be speaking and running and I want to share with you that we did bring a few books and tapes of that first book stood in the flames followed by the infamous sex traps Lord Hill I know you won't be buying that because you need it is your cousin mr. bill down the street in the trap not you we have some videos we have some tapes and this particular tape we have behind closed doors spars to stars and witches in the house oh don't go shot you got witches in your house witches in the school house which is in the White House and witches in the church house come on cuz a witch is a person that dominates and controls oh don't make me go make me reveal you sitting on the front row trying to dominate and control the service ain't nothing but a rich look at your neighbor say she ain't talking about your lesson is you that take thing blessed shitty body of anybody over 85 years old mother Duffy mother Davis how old are you sweetheart she says she ain't telling mother must be single alright let's just pass let's give mother sex traps [Applause] mother Shella a just Bobby this is everybody this is my partner Orlando Florida I mean something like that I'm sorry yeah how you doing what they call it this is what they told us now I ask you you tell me oh this is what they told us they say the job want to film the dev and fear my seating okay yeah that's what that's what I came here for that's what I sign on but the cameraman Finny let's go that's pretty blessed in a few questions after the prayer because we really need to know what you guys really feel about Christmas okay okay when Nicky told me I only got 10 minutes so I can't you back okay okay Madea why don't you pray let's let her lead you don't yeah I pray I pray every time I get pulled over I say Lord don't let them find their ticket I pray when I'm trying to write a check into Super Walmart do I prayed maybe I better pray Heavenly Father we thank you right now we bless this food nurse you to our bodies we ask God that you would bless the gift called families yeah thank you God we be honoring or on this Christmas Day listen before we eat why don't we just say thanks just say thanks and description I'm thankful for having a family that is patient enough to teach me the real meaning of Christmas was just Jesus Christ for unto us a son is born yes she's so proper I am thankful to God for it for forgiving me and if he can forgive me it's an I too should be able to forgive others and on the third day he rose well I am thankful the love that I feel around this table and even though my wife and I've had some problems in the past and thankful that I love was strong enough to get us through it and Jesus wept and I'm thankful thankful for the opportunity to repent and to forgive I just want you to know that I'm gonna do the best that I can to whom much is given much is required then I thank God for life yeah well he died that we might have life and that more but this just shows you that you never know what's I'm not going through that yeah makes arrows [Music] [Applause] it's thankful to guard the dissenter is almost over so I can go and get to me a drink the Bible say drinky all of it no and she's right Matthew chapter 26 and verse 27 I think sister Bynum it might be a little out of context but it just goes to show us that no matter what we're going through and our families or in our lives that it's always important to put Christ in the center of Christmas baby what's wrong thing well I just wanted to say I'm so glad to be here with this lovely family I don't know them I just came and they seem to be such a wonderful family and you ought to be blessed to be invited to one here a few minutes ago you don't know what what they say to have pulled it all together an available seat stay put them down [Applause] how do you know that some people know Church stars at 11 o'clock and that always gonna come in late they think they're supposed to come in to theme music they know church starts at 11 o'clock but they come around I don't 11:55 and that I want you to come in late that did this was that special music [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] beautiful nature emergency you know I'm so glad that was then and that this is now because were women called upon to watch Jesus his feet with their hair they would respond not with this weed this reef cost me $500 you've got to bring me a towel or something get a little icebreaker for some of you tonight Bishop Chandler David Irwin's they men who put me up for my first time to preach in the convocation back at Memphis kook Convention Center he had a little funny that he would tell with great icebreaker he said it was a preacher that preached every Sunday he had a special cup that he drank out of it and he would drink out of his cup and he'd get him preached the house down to old deacons were watching him Sunday after Sunday they said I wonder what's in that cup it's not like deacons daughter Wendy guy said I tell you what we're gonna do next Sunday he said no no come on let's go ask him so they went up to the preacher and they said preacher we want to know what's in their cup he said water nothing but water yeah yeah next Sunday did the same thing got up drinking out of his cup and just preach the house down you can sit no something's wrong with that cup I know so he said I tell what we do you stand on one side Deacon I'm staying on the other you distract him I'm gonna snatch the cup we're gonna find out what's in that Cup so the next Sunday preacher had his cup sitting up there and Deacon came hey bitch hey preacher could you look over here he looked over there and there when grant the cup and he said ah just what we thought just what we thought just what we thought he said what what he said wine what no no water what no wine is when he said oh my god he's done it again some of you a little slow on that one here tink did Jonathan does Barney gospel channel make sure to subscribe to the channel your praise on your breakfast [Applause] [Music] you

Channel: Jonathan DesVerney Gospel Channel

Views: 144,979

Rating: 4.7926388 out of 5

Keywords: Funny, Laughter, Small Fry, Steve Harvey, Bishop Blake, COGIC, Joel Osteen, Maria Gardner, West Angeles COGIC

Id: mKW4epNZssw

Length: 33min 15sec (1995 seconds)

Published: Sun Jan 06 2019