Funniest Leadership Speech ever!

at the rodeo can you hear me it's not usually a problem when you think of leadership and life lessons you know thoughts don't normally go to where I'm from but I think you'd be surprised where I'm from is the boonies Webster defines the boonies as the location so far outside of the city limits even animals question your President and I've lived there most of my life Louisiana Mississippi Oklahoma Texas Arkansas it did not matter my parents nomadic Southern Baptists that they were always seem to find the boonies in every state but for the purposes of this presentation the boonies were in Texas to give you a little insight into me you first have to understand my father he's a man's man he played football in high school he was a paratroopers army he was always kind of higher all the time I refer to my childhood as my military service in the summer before the seventh grade it was a bleak hot Texas day as every day in Texas is and my father said get the truck boy we're going to town town we never got to go to town town was but go to Texas population 491 and we lived 7 miles northeast but town was where the things were that's where the stuff was you get a root beer float in town you could get tater tots in town I said sign me up I got in the truck but we didn't stop in Tim we kept going through town out to the high school and that's where I was introduced to football and two-a-days which is a vicious heinous practice twice a day football practice what kind of crazed fool came up with that in Texas but I participated in it you can imagine how joyful I was my father said going out there boy I said I ain't going out there oh well actually I said that in my head what I really said was yes sir because if you do as you're told you'll survive my father didn't actually threaten to shoot me in the face but it was implied I walked up to the crowd and the coaches were dividing us in the group they said you go over there I said one let's take your alignment what's alignment you're going to protect the quarterback well who's this quarterback why do I want to protect him they said just get over there I said why me they said because you're fat because girth substitutes for talent in junior high football however I discovered it is possible to actually play football without any physical contact whatsoever there was a whole lotta down said ho get him because I wasn't about to get hurt I live for special teams kickoff return punt return run here you can run that and not touch a soul and get told good hustle Thompson looking good and I'm thinking you don't know from hustle I'm trying to survive out here I played for two years and I decided I'd had enough so I told my daddy I'm not playin football no more he said yeah you're on I said no he said yeah you play so I did what any red-blooded American man would do I went crying to my mom and mom please let me quit football he she said dad leave him alone let him be and I overheard my daddy say what's wrong with that boy mama she said just leave me alone he's trying to find himself and he said well he better hurry up he's about to piss me off so I tried new activities because there are very few injuries reported in marching bands and honor societies I tried new music even tried new clothes I went through an unfortunate period where I wanted to be a Madonna back up dance with black clothes and hair down to here and five watches if you remember the 80s you remember me but I was still where I was from so I had to go to activities such as a 4-h Stock Show and the rodeo unfortunately was deer in my preppy phase because finding yourself sometimes but niche sometimes does but never should in with somebody wearing penny loafers to the rodeo all it did was irritate my daddy and piss off Merle Haggard so I stand before you what I call redneck Lite I'm still from where I'm from but I'm educated and I'm embarrassingly ambitious I'm an LPA my relatives call me uppity but I've remained true to myself because success comes in many shapes and sizes and sometimes it comes with color-coordinated songs and that's what I've learned from where I'm from [Applause]

Channel: SpecificDusty

Views: 6,447,176

Rating: 4.5386677 out of 5

Keywords: LVA, leadership, VA, Dustin, Thompson, 2008, Funny, Hilarious, Speech, Funniest, speech, ever

Id: SA7bKo4HRTg

Length: 5min 8sec (308 seconds)

Published: Fri Aug 29 2008

Reddit Comments

[u/QuiGonGingerAle]

That's how you do that.

[u/verdatum]

Superlatives in titles are horribly cringey. You don't need to clarify that the speech is funny or funniest. It isn't the funniest, because that is subjective, and you don't need to say funny because if it wasn't, then it wouldn't belong here.