Fred Armisen | Senses Working Overtime with David Cross | Headgum

this is a headgum [Music] podcast you have your choice of uh I'll do this one okay wait isn't that what you're usually over here though I'll do that one okays better I mean it's up to you what do you what do you usually do I I mean I don't I just I honestly I asked the guest where they want to sit and they sit there whatever you're more I Bob was there Bob was in New York this is Los Angeles California um I'll do this Bob was a yeah okay uh are you okay yeah okay great but then this seems like such a big why am I overthinking it um my hat down yeah how you doing I'm good man how are you I haven't seen you in a while I haven't seen you in a long time I have one very specific thing I want to ask you about oh actually I shouldn't put my phone on silent because it makes a funny noise when it's when I get an alert okay um are you going to do any stand up L here uh tonight I'm going to do in this thing hey I'm going to do like a tight 10 in this and that's why I ask you down there to be the audience that um uh couple rules no videotaping what um please put your phone on silent and you don't want you don't want me to put it on the floor oh there's a did you walk or drive no you didn't drive yeah okay I was going to say there's a we're using a c stand uh dri um are you are you cold or are you trying to be formal I like the look of this jacket okay um do you but you going to do lgo or anything like that no I'm actually going to do uh the I think it's like one of those it's an improv show at Dynasty typewriter oh yeah yeah yeah and I think you go out and you do like a monologue I think that place is great I've never been there oh really it's pretty um great things it's really nice it's kind of like maybe a little bit of a sketchy area to try to park in where is it it's Wilshire and like uh almost downtown okay that little run of Wilshire like where it almost starts to turn into downtown and it's um so P Korea Town yeah uh yeah I think I know what you're talking about and um it's it's small but nice you how long has it been around it's been around for a little while right now it's been around a while maybe like I don't know eight years or something who runs it these two people run it I I forgot their names but uh but they're really cool I think they're a couple yeah so don't hit on either one of them here let me get you so so hit on them hit on them polyamory style oh please come on it's fantastic I know I love the idea of it I found out about it this morning the the hard way you had no idea what you were in and then it was explain to you there's a I had no idea then then I got the definition and everything I was like oh my god wow now there's there's also you guys might know this there's a um there's a new there's a term uh polyamory is makes sense in the in the Latin aspect of it the the the root of the word is is the definition of the word itself but now there's um and I'm completely ignorant to these things but I think there's a I mean I know there's a new term I think pretty much means the same thing where people go no no no I'm not polyamory I'm do you guys know what I'm talking about um polyle is that the one no is that it so I think if you say it I'll know what it is but it's I think I vaguely I think I know you're talking about but I forgot what the word is it's almost like uh shorthand yeah but po poly Amory all right five syllables is been much is that are people having difficulty with that I got time I got I I mean I got stuff to do I can't be saying polyamory all the time there I just wasted a good half second you know uh there is a new but it's it's no no no no that thruple is like the a cute kind of thing this is a thing that people say no no no no I'm not polyamory I'm this thing it my wife it means multiple partners or like you're attract CU like pansexual is like no no it's not it's not that it's uh it's specifically about multiple partners and it's not just ply I feel like no my wife so my wife said was talking about this and her publicist said this term and she's like what's that and she's like that's what you say if you're polyamory but you don't say polyamory anymore you say this thing and I'm not sure what was wrong with polyamory it serves a purpose yeah it's clear it is maybe they're they're anti- Latin um uh cuz they were occupiers um the original occupiers uh woo uh but I did I I know I'm uh digressing here but I saw the original occupiers when they reformed and opened up at the um the mud stage at glastenbury yeah 2019 yeah they're shockingly still good yeah which is like I was I was ready not to not go I was like I'm not going to go see to the occupiers but you like their original of course I was like but I'm not going to go I I'm not want to be part of this hit after hit I was like I know that song I know that and like you forget how many amazing songs they wrote and the and the the other thing is uh you know Gibby the the kist is 82 years old 82 jumping around same dude you know same I mean looks a little older but but I was like great you want to jump around Jump Around fantastic and they covered Jump Around by and good for them and I stayed and they stay yeah they covered good for them yeah they cover good for them I loved it I sort of walked away like big smile on my face I was you know I me it I yeah was that your smile yeah yeah that looked fake big smile on my face just on the way out and uh wait can you do that big smile again that doesn't seem honest Earnest with my hand too H right but right as we going through the merch and stuff and by the way parents with their kids yeah young people uh it was shocking it's poly generational poly generational yeah yeah it's uh you know look I'm not uh I'm not giving a [ __ ] at all I I but I did have uh you know I had I had I was a little uh uh on the fence as it were like because of what you just uh were describing but yeah it was an it was an amazing show and I thought the uh I thought the video interstitials were really cool and I thought the um uh I wasn't expecting a 11-minute drum solo but uh but weren't you I wasn't I mean when it is happening I was like okay I guess I should have anticipated this but um but the video intials we'll talk about this after you know the editor I'll talk to you later about it I found out yeah brilliant but I'll talk to you later about it who is it someone we worked with FMA Sho maker uh yes but we'll talk about brilliant but um I thought it I thought it had uh shumi's stamp on it yeah yeah yeah but we'll we'll talk about it just because it's we have some funny stories oh okay well why can't we do that uh on the podcast I'm worried about time oh how long are these stories oh this are like half an hour stories okay so we can tell two of them okay we'll do two stories okay and then you'll come back and you'll do the rest we'll do the rest of this thing what what are you doing now what are you uh what do you want about uh what's your sitch what am I doing uh I've been touring this like uh the standup thing that's for musicians where I bring instruments on stage and I just talk about chords and drums and stuff and I've been doing that and just like you know you cuz this a followup to uh stand for drummers yeah drumming for d dummies yeah drumming for dummies y Dum drops yeah drum drum drum drops drum drops dum dum drops uh the only yeah it's the shortest standup special there like seven minutes or something that's pretty short I made I made 8 million wow I think um so I've just been doing that but the moment I start talking about stuff that I've been shooting I always hear myself and think oh God I don't want to sound like sometimes when I hear people talking about like what when I asked you a question you'd be answering it there's nothing pretentious about that that's true um I did this show I shot this show for Netflix called unstable don't wait he fell asleep you snoring in your sleep what was a what was a show a show that I did and qu to wake him up and I think on some of takes they used um just all you know I've been doing all I did a tour of England that I really loved um doing standup yeah same show where where did you perform I leads Sheffield Margate like a little Seaside Town Brighton London Glasgow Edinburgh um and uh uh Birmingham MH it was I loved it so much I loved itouring the can't get enough of that place well Birmingham was uh I haven't done Sheffield or Margate but I've done the other ones but uh Birmingham was bit of a bummer walking around it was like interesting no you liked it no I but on stage CU I we only got in that day and we had to leave early the next morning but I said on stage and I meant it I was like he this place is beautiful and they laughed at me it's not beautiful they fully laughed like it was a joke it's not beautiful it's like it's it would be like going to I mean it's like the Detroit Detroit or like anything industrial and yeah in Detroit IND well industrial but also has seen its Better Days in the past Gary Indiana that might be extreme that's extreme but it's uh uh yeah they're aware it's just it's a little meant like I'm not from uh England so this all seems and it was your first night there yeah and uh it was and then when you went to uh then they laughed like for real Manchester you're like oh boy I really messed up by describing like these other like really quaint cities Edinburgh especially beautiful oh my God fantastic yeah yeah I love doing that uh doing those where do you perform in London this place called Earth uh which is like this performance kind kind of new place mhm but oh it was great yeah really really really really cool it's a good way Glasco did you do the or Moore no this place I wish I could remember the name of it it wasn't that big but I don't mean it like it wasn't that big I mean like I don't think it's like a well-known place right but it was great yeah I I like glasow a lot too yeah cool that's good it's always fun when you tour do you go on a bus or do you like fly from City to City uh i' done a i up until this last tour I had done a bus the last three times but because my daughter was in school I didn't want to go out in the road for you know 3 months right so uh and I'm not going to do it this way again because it was really pretty brutal and my wife was like [ __ ] that don't worry about it don't go out and do what you do we'll visit you and stuff but uh so I would go out for on like you know fr Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday come back Sunday night or Monday morning and then get up and hang out and take her to school and stuff and and after a while it was just [ __ ] brutal because especially in the United States so big I mean you there some of these you you'd have to um I think five or six times I had to stay at the airport hotel then drive from the like fly into the airport and then drive if I was doing like Fort Collins Colorado or I'm trying to remember him uh uh Tucson or something you'd fly into the City Phoenix then you'd get a rental car drive two hours wherever it was Albuquerque to Santa Fe whatever it was do the show and and I was doing meet and greets afterwards so I'm not I'm not done until midnight and and then drive back crash at the hotel at the airport get up and go get on a plane and and and it I mean I I [ __ ] I mean it was affecting me like physically and you know um and emotionally like like airport hotels even though it's efficient you're like oh I can't I great I'm here early for my flight something is like a bummer about it yeah I mean it's because it's an airport hotel too and there's no like oh I'm going to go out and walk around you know get off the tarmac [ __ ] you know you can't there's no place to go and they also don't clean it like there's something like people are just going through so it does it feels a little bit like it's a lot of pilots and you know yeah uh oh shout out to Pilots by the way shout out to Pilots you guys fly us around we if you ask nothing of us it's insane thank you so much you guys that's incredible and 10% of Fred's tour is going to Pilots pilot Institute insane you that you guys know the way and you guys are in there you know up and down up and down up and down up and down you guys you know insane yeah so thank you yeah wherever you are thank you for that no you have to yeah um but I will say this uh the I want to make sure I get this right the Denver the the hotel at Denver in at the Denver Airport when you mean which is brand new is awesome that's a really good one it's really good like would stay there again and and also downtown Denver is bummer you know there's the homeless drug mentally ill situation is really out of control and the uh uh I if I was just coming in for a night I go I'm I'm going back to the hotel it was great it's a great hotel I think it's like from what I remember it has like for what it's worth a decent view like you could see some of that statue that crazy well you can see the Spirit Airlines terminal yeah um and they're yellow their planes are yellow so that's kind of fun yeah um you can see a couple Alaska Airways which has the big Eskimo on it you know well that's how you see it uh it should I you're right I should see it as a big Eskimo with a plane on it yeah um and I I they must be so the Native American population in the Pacific Northwest must be so thrilled to have um you know Chief Seattle is is Seattle's named after Chief Seattle and they've really done a service to honoring his memory yeah and Alaska Airlines you know with their Christian tracks cuz Native Americans were founded on Christianity that's the thing and and they are so thrilled to be hence the name Native Americans wait are you running that as together as one word yeah Native Americans I think there's a Christian sort of right that's a that's Aramaic that goes way back I guess yeah yeah well don't guess I'm telling you it's Aramaic I'm not I'm not went to Seminary school for over 19 years you're right you're right I don't guess I hear right you hear and then presuppose yeah and then I could say I guess when I tell somebody else I I gotta play their crowd more yeah there uh which cameras is Freds we'll go with three all right you guys cuz you guys are pretty nuts no no we looking over there okay yeah you got you want do it again cuz you guys are pretty nuts no no no we're going over camera three over there I'm sorry cuz you guys are pretty nuts well okay that time you didn't say it quite the same way maybe you guys are pretty nuts we we put see out there but we could maybe add a delay to it or Echo when you guys edit it a delay that would all right um what about Reverb make you sound like you're in a big yeah yeah that's good hello hello hello um what should I be uh I have nothing to promote I really don't I'm I just loved watching this I watched it on YouTube and then I was like Hey I want to on which ones did you say I saw Bobs and janin okay those are early those are early ones are you've who's been in between oh God you're 118 no way yeah we we wanted to get you much later but uh somebody fell through um I don't want to say it's a it's a little delicate because of the news but King Charles has cancer and uh so he wasn't able to come and do it uh oh he's got to go get treatment and stuff yeah yeah um he's got an anointment he puts on yeah and you can only get it you can get it everywhere but you can only actually like apply it in uh England yeah legally I want his doctor why that's be a pain in the ass you're not suppos you're not supposed to answer why oh it's like it's a type it's a type of comment you make where you're supposed to just go like tell me about it or like of course tell about it I am telling I mean that's what we're doing we're having a conversation I don't understand that when people say tell me about it it's like I am telling you about it that's we're in the process of that happening or it's almost like they're saying go further yeah and then when you try to they're like hey I just said tell me about it that clearly means stop telling me about it yeah that's true it it is it's like saying stop it's really hard working out in the sun tell me about it okay well I sweat and then do be interrupted with it's rhetorical [ __ ] call the guy an [ __ ] geez that's so harsh yeah it's rough out there I think it's easy out there sorry ever the contrarian yeah sorry I think it's really easy I tell you what I I will amend that because since I've become uh rich and famous it's uh it's kind of easy out there yeah you know a little easier for a Pimp I mean yeah restaurants Airlines you get on a plane now you don't have to pay I boy I haven't reached that level oh yeah you go on and the Pilot's like oh my God please you made it all the way through oh my God please I love uh they see sprockets right oh my God oh my God sit down sprockets shut up not me and the pilot is greeting you oh my goodness oh my hey What's Going sit down wait no no no no no hey get out ma'am ma'am take your child and head to the back oh my God we're good just promise you take a picture with me thank you have you have you had uh have you had like um I'm mean sure you have but uh tell us a story an anecdote of you know celebrity getting you access to something you might not wow there is a thing some like it's such a cliche but there just there's a sort of restaurant thing where not always mhm where it's a little bit like um where you know what I see it manifest itself when there is one employee who doesn't know who I am like I'm sorry we and then someone will show up and like oh no no we're we're fine we're right right this way something as simple as that it's I like the balance that there's someone who's like you know and you you are uh you come across as an extremely uh amiable affable uh uh almost sympathetic weak kind of character and uh and personal yeah well my family is very weak yeah you come from a long line of we oh my father was very weak yeah and my grandfather and when you know my grandfather is very weak yeah he he seemed fragile fragile but at an early age want to upset you yeah uh even you know pictures of my my dad and my grandfather as as kids very very weak and how how do this how does that show up in you know like people around them first of all being like Oh my God please help theming and wincing also trying to carry things that I'm like that's a towel that's not heavy and they're like I'm like Dad it's a towel yeah that's not there's no weight to it how were you not able to overcome that through weakness It's really because at first when you a teenager you rebel against week it's like no I'm strong I'm a teenager and then as you get older I'm like you know what coming into your own it yeah it's part of me yeah you know you embrace it and you tell people hey I'm weak and then when it's weird and then you meet someone else's week ah you know and you sort of like you start getting together and you're like yeah water seeks its own level you know you know you hang out with is there any kind of like men's club or anything weak men's club or yep there's like a kind of you know it's a kind of like a lot of apology and sort of whimpering and um a lot and a lot of help so we that now that we know it like someone will help us with our cups and stuff you know cups of coffee and everything's too hot or too that's where the does come in that you're paying for because I know I I've had read the dues for that are astronomical you know you have to everyone's got to have a couple helpers oh need to help her yeah we can volume of voice we can everything yeah so so so because of that you've gotten some uh you've gotten into restaurants when they've been had a full yeah that's great yeah my my wife will uh and you know like you it it it doesn't work all the time but sometimes it does and it's a always a nice surprise and and you'll do it as long as you know you're not cutting somebody cutting a front of somebody you know what I mean or I won't but uh but you get my wife will send me to the you go in and ask you know they know that it's yeah it's packed and half the time you're like yeah take my hat off and you know make sure I'm as recognizable as possible and half the time they're like I'm sorry we don't have anything and they whether they know or no but then like you said you get the uh like he's okay he's okay it's someone like there'll be someone who can you and it's and most of the time that happens they're like right this way Mr Armon and I'm like uh I'm not uh yeah okay uh sure uh I'm sprockets yeah I'm sprockets um because they'll make you at some point they'll go do uh sprockets do sprockets are you sure that okay and I just do it no you may as well yeah i' I've had people say to me recently I was in Las Vegas and someone said this uh couple was like oh my God Bill hater oh this is great this is the last time this is I don't know a month ago or something I was in London uh with Amber and we went to this Pub that we used to go to when we lived there in shortage called the Allen the Pussycat and uh we walk in it's packed and I spent many nights there did their pub quiz and all that stuff and uh I walk in I don't really remember everybody it's been a while but this guy's like oh hey and uh and there it's kind of younger staff and I'm like hey assuming I you know he was there when I was there before and um and then these other people are are talking to the you know other people uh um behind the bar are talking you know to themselves about me and I can see that out of the corner of my eye and this guy's like hey and then he's he says uh after a good like minute or two of quote recognize me unquote he goes uh I can't remember how he started it like uh uh he goes so you're uh you're him right and I go you know I guess so I don't know and uh he goes uh and Amber was there I told him and and he he goes uh you know I'm a I'm a fan okay thank you and then and then the other guy comes over they've been talking right and the other guy goes you're uh you're Paul Gatti right and I laughed so [ __ ] hard I was like no then they went wouldn't believe it did you say yes or no I said no and uh and they're like you're not you're not and then then he kind of got serious yeah you're not Paul Giamatti nope although he was amazing in the olds in his mind it was like it it just wasn't matching it's almost like you were him and you were denying it he didn't believe you he thought you were just trying to be yeah you thought Paul was trying to be yeah that's the the beauty of it is now I get to act however I want and it's on Paul Giamatti yeah so the story goes out there I had Paul Giamatti in here what a [ __ ] dick I said I'm a fan are you Paul you're Paul Gatti right and and he said no like dude no one's going to give a [ __ ] okay [ __ ] you was it a was it a restaurant a pub was was this person British yeah they were all it was a in London yeah they're all British is that making sense more sense to you now yeah they don't know Paul Gatti like we do no that he's Paul Gatti is US yeah and we are Paul Gatti yeah we're like that's our you remember that speech yeah Paul Gatti is us we are Paul Paul yeah yeah I said yes no I'm saying I remember that speech I know you just said it yeah you're the one who first said it you did no you said it and then I said I remember that speech you said Paul Gatti Is Us yes said we are Paul dumadi but and then I said that I remember the spe I didn't say the word also but I meant that I also remember the speech yeah but then you said you affirmed it after that had been established well I mean let's go back to wasting time uh the concept of it by saying too much that's the that's the problem too much people's the problem is that people say too much within a sentence they put in way too many extra words that are not necessary once an idea or thought has been established you know who's uh I mean in the in the sense of like saying five words that are kind of the same word yeah for is Russell Brand if you've ever listened to him oh yeah yeah Russell Brand will say numerous uh extraneous uh uh extra uh unnecessary or he'll say um he'll say like five words for that are the same words same meaning basically wow it is something that people do though it is y and uh and and you and I both uh I think we efficient with words I think we're we're both efficient I'd say we're uh efficient and pragmatic and practical and economic and judicious with words yeah yeah I cleared my throat please edit that out and show me the edit edit it and show me now uh at some point you I I don't know if you know this or if they told you this I have no idea what the communication is between you and your your people but uh you have final say over every single podcast that goes out whether it's you or not hardcore yeah so you hardcore we did uh Scott ocher earlier we got uh Jake Johnson Tony hail coming up and you got you have absolute final say on that on those on those guys on everyone yeah yeah but I'm I will say I'm actually very like giving and I'm very like oh man it's cool like not to worry about it man like I'm pretty down to earth and just very like no man like whatever the edit I I get final say but I keep it real cool like yeah a d dude just some dude you know yeah I mean maybe that's why you get f say is everybody knows yeah you're not a hard ass you're not no no I'm like no don't don't worry about me yeah it's all good okay yeah well we'll run this uh but do run it past me yeah we will run it just out of yeah professional courtesy yeah yeah no thank we didn't see what I was going to do oh okay okay you ready yeah wait is the camera on David yeah wait can I should go drench myself and we'll cut back to and I'll just go that wasn't the queue camera wasn't on me yet this is a very this is a very boring story I'm about to tell but one of the um producers on Portlandia was David Crest with a c SS how funny is that that's a great That's a classic classic story how funny is that yeah that must have uh caused quite a few issues I remember telling him and he was you know not moved either way yeah I've heard that before and then I just love retelling it yeah uh because you can insert yourself into that story that's what I love about it it's one of those things like I can I can imagine if that happened to me or if I was there fun as hell yeah it was just small talk that just it was just small talk on set oh that's nuts that's nuts and that's one of the things I love about this business it's unpredictable it's unpredictable I said that he you got to roll with the punches you got to roll with it no matter what happens whatever the punches are well and at times whenever it's boring what that it what if it's boring you know go to sleep go to sleep yeah that's the that's the Credo that is The Credo so you did all these people today you did Scott already yeah only had and then I went and did uh uh Andrew stini no Andrew take that again I did Andrew Santino's uh podcast and now I'm here with Fred armson from television My Three Sons that's right and um did I tell you I'm working on a movie working on uh not it's not going I'm working on developing a movie called uh a baby and three men which is a remake of Three Men and a Baby but told from the baby's point of view oh that's good yeah that's really good yeah because Three Men and a Baby it's all like it's all the crazy stuff like oh it's all about what are we supposed to do this is a maybe the the baby's version is like who who are these buffoons and I'm not asking for much just feed me yeah you know uh I got Steve Gutenberg over here I get Ted dancing over here I don't even know who the third person the third guy is we nobody knows no he can't you can't find out there's no way to find out no we know Gutenberg right clearly we know Danson we don't know the other guy who is it Michael L Keen we don't know Michael ke right oh is it Michael ke I don't ke no it's um Michael ke Tom Cel no wonder that [ __ ] Blue Blood Tom celic yeah my three sons in the demo like people this is before you know microw streaming and mices and stuff um every night it would get six million people would tune in can you imagine six million people every night it was a nightly show there was one channel on TV mhm people would watch it was it Murdoch owned or no this is pre Murdoch this is the the 50s my three sons in its demo kids teenagers pre-teen adults geriatrics all watched and they would watch on the TV like now you know it's all over the place it's all over the place a show gets you know Five Seasons Four Seasons yeah this had Seasons yeah and these people were stars yeah and and and they were uh they've got so many specifics now like you know how many how many Lao in the midwest are watching this such and such show and we need more Lao we need more Sri Lankans you know we need Peru where's where are my peruvians in the house this had none of that yeah and this is you know the sad tragic thing is because this is before they were counting it that was the most most popular show with LA technically yeah my three sons yeah incredible this is a very different time and the guy had three sons you know and that's and those were his sons yeah yeah yeah they're not other people's Sons it wasn't like his three sons or these three sons for it was his sons My Three Sons it's almost biblical it sounds like a biblical story it's really you know that's that was his story yeah they belong they were of him yeah and they and and uh they were heartwarming uh heart colding yeah and also uh occasionally you know uh you'd learn something you know about about Behavioral Sciences yeah a little known fact FYI little trivia shot on a Sound Stage I did not know that Oh I thought that was was all in location really sound stage in that while living room fake living room kitchen but wait but I've see no no no cuz they will be in the living room then they'll go outside yeah uh Sound Stage how outside was a Sound Stage oh that was on uh on the lot but in a different area wait wait so they would so you're saying the living room was not their living room no it was a workplace it was a studio work at home like a like a studio it's a set like you see in a play it's a set how Wild wait so you're saying they built a fake living room yeah where uh Burbank California oh okay so in Burbank California why Burbank good question uh that's where a lot of the studios were back then oh so this is in a in a studio I love this question by the way okay so uh so they had a lot of they still do Warner Studios um and Universal Studios are in and then so they build a fake living room that looks like a real living room yeah but how was it fake well could you live there fake meaning you couldn't live there and why because people go why would you do that lighting sound so then I'm almost done and then there's no the there's not the same time limits from people having to come home from work and they go to their real houses studios are like we can work all day we can work all night so why didn't they shoot in the actor's real living room wouldn't that be easier you wake up you come in I'm in my Liv which actor they're Liv in the same place my three sons no they're all actors I know but he and his sons were acting they're from why did so you're saying that the this man and his three sons had to travel in from their real living room you're so sweet what and they go to a fake living room you are the sweetest this makes no sense to me you're so cute they um they're from different families they're actors no I know they're acting I know I understand the con from they have different names they have different families watch it again and three sons with three different women those aren't his sons at all yes they are they're his sons we just did the whole thing my sons my my sons buddy it's actors I know they are actors I understand these people uh get up from their house all right kids get up we got to go to work acting say from three different houses they're from three different why they have three different houses four what really five what because for the other actor who played the butler I don't know what your the main actor the Butler from my three sons there was Butler or a sort of helper a guy are you speaking about Uncle Charlie that's it is it Uncle Charlie I think it might be uncle was Uncle Charlie I think it's Burgess Meredith too no no you're are you thinking of hang on Uncle Charlie you're thinking of Ray Walston in My Favorite Martian or Leave it to Beaver did they have a one of those shows had a dude but maybe it was Uncle Charlie Butler ibody had a butler I remember someone being like they're like middle class nobody had a butler a helper a house guy well it's different that's different than a butler but what was Uncle Charlie just he just hung pedophile mean they didn't know that at first that was related to that was threaded into the plot that doesn't you don't really discover that until the penultimate episode oh jeez yeah did you see the end of Breaking Bad yes yeah it's like that I had to think for a minute but they were inspired by my three sons Breaking Bad was a uh I don't want to say ripoff but a an homage to my three sons yeah there's a you make a direct line between Breaking Bad it's an anagram Breaking Bad My Three Sons right uh what do you mean by anagram you know when You' take letters out and put whatever letter you want back in oh sure yeah yeah yeah you know when you play with the letters and then Breaking Bad My Three Sons so you take the B out put an M take the r out put a y and then you can switch them around a little bit and then like finally get you could probably switch uh the no none of the vowels um My Three Sons Breaking Bad yes b r e a k so the E My Three Sons Oh I thought it was the number three no you take the two e put them at the end I thought oh okay so it's the word three yeah okay interesting I got to I got to watch this again they got six million views every single night can you believe it can you believe it now the things we could sell the things we could sell now you know shows get 20 people watch it 30 people yeah have you watched uh Yellow Jackets I haven't seen it yet no me neither oh yet you are going to watch it I will watch everything oh geez all right um have you seen can I can I uh uh seriously uh talk about some shows that I are just really great I don't think got a lot of love not enough uh pen 15 do you see that I didn't see it but everyone seems to love it it's great I I will see it and the women in it are just I mean it's just really really really good really well done and um reservation dogs no that looks really good it's really good um and uh start about two3 of the way through the curse which is brilliant and unlike anything I've ever seen on TV um have you seen it no but I think it's hard to find like it is it is you can't get it on uh I got it through if you all right you're right because I searched it because I know I watched the first episode and I was like oh I want to go see the next episode and I couldn't get it access it from the place I originally accessed it from then I went on the Showtime app and I don't have peacock I think it is or Paramount or whatever [ __ ] is and uh and I and I was like I know I saw this and I know I was able to watch it so how come so then I searched it in the big TV thing not not you know just for anything on and then it popped up you know uh rent or free to watch with uh uh Paramount plus and I was like I'm not getting [ __ ] Paramount plus and uh and all these other thing and and that I was like I what's going on so then eventually it took me like another 30 minutes to to if you go at least on my system through Hulu you can watch it on Hulu but initially when I went to Hulu cuz I went to all the things you couldn't so I don't know now you could watch it on Hulu yeah yeah why do I think it's difficult then to find it was difficult it was difficult for me it wasn't because I went to Hulu you know the first I go I was like all right I know it's not Netflix yeah so I know it's not apple and I was just trying to process of elimination then you have a Roku we had the Roku thing so I went through Hulu and what I don't know the way I went through it um and then I had to uh email Nathan Fielder and uh and I couldn't get in touch with him but I got in touch with his mom and I asked her hey um you know obviously I was like we've never met Mommy it's okay okay so Mommy uh uh we've never met I know your son um and I'm trying to get it and then she was like oh hang on wait a minute she's in Canada and uh and you know there's a time difference there's like a 10hour time difference when you if you cross the border um and and and she kept saying what time is it there what time is it there you're like you're like you know very well Mommy we're 10 hours behind you anyway uh no actually she's playing dumb well we people think it's cute and I'm like she's 5 hours ahead I'm 5 hours behind so those negate each other and then it's the same time that whole thing what time is it there yeah you know you're doing stop that I know it's it's really condescending it waste of time waste of time yeah uh she walked me through it she was having difficulty cuz she had a call uh I can't remember it was like Nathan's fifth grade teacher or something like that uh and eventually we were able to figured out and get I it was through Hulu great good well well I guess I'll have to find it on there it's great I I highly recommend it it's really cool I just saw a documentary I'm not all the way through it yet about we are the world like the the video and the recording of it is interesting that that has no interest to me what it doesn't I don't it it's great it's like yeah because you're like the idea that like first of all to think of like that time in the80s as that long ago now that footage looks like it really looks ancient yeah it's not like oh cute video it it looks now it looks like oh that is way another time was that 84 four I think four yeah um I loved it I loved okay I it didn't it did it it didn't look very interesting to me I I got a little chil I'm bald so you know um it it was uh I don't know I I'll check it out I mean I'll uh you know well the great Fred armison as I have to watch this documentary God and um what did I start there was there was a a documentary I started watching on the plane I didn't get all the way through I didn't even get about halfway through but it is it has so many what the [ __ ] moments which are kind of I have two favorite kinds of documentaries and that's one of them where just like capturing the fredman or something where you're like what you know you find out that's it was oh I don't know the name of it it was about triplets who did who were raised separately uh and they were part of like an experiment or something you don't find that out until like in fact it was shortly after that that I you know there the plane was Landing so I had to shut it down but I got a I got to pick it back up cuz it's Bonkers it's crazy three identical strangers identical strangers it's it's yeah I heard that was really great it's just you you're watching and it's fun to watch it's a fun thing and and it's really like um it's very uh uh sweet and and hopeful and uh when they when they meet each other when the first two meet each other and they're just like oh my God they were they're the same person and they're just getting along and then it's it's got one Revel after the other that make you go what the [ __ ] so check that out three identical strangers yeah and uh um they even they tried to they they tried to monetize the they had like a I can't remember what it was like a clothing line or pizza something they had like the three and they would do like openings ofs and stuff no but it's good they were like these goofy guys from Long Island or whatever or actually one one was Long Island one was I think the Bronx and you know the other was uh Appalachia um so it's Tri but it's New York area people yes tri state area is what we'd say yeah yeah we what we'd say yeah what what we would say not what you would say no me on my own no but it's us together yes I would we would say that yeah yeah yeah tri-state area yep so that's uh tri-state area consists of New York New Jersey Connecticut Rhode Islandia Pennsylvania New Hampshire Maine Maryland yeah and but not Massachusetts no and that was by Design yes don't get me started I okay is you did start it though oh you're telling yourself that you're telling yourself Fred all you're leaving out is the word Fred Fred don't get me started yeah that's right okay that makes sense don't get me started okay you got it um do you remember you were I think we were doing a benefit at the bowy Poetry Club we doing a show I think Amber had put together I vaguely remember this yeah and I played banjo but I didn't know how to play and uh it cuz it was at a venue in New York that was like isn't performed at very much it's like it's a I thought it was the Poetry Club the yes meaning wasn't the usual place that like I'd ever performed at before right um but uh I want to say it was a benefit for something and you did this I don't know if you're still doing it um this amazing bit about and it was [ __ ] spoton where you would talk to people in the audience you go like where you from uh I'm from Wisconsin and then he would affect the accent and oh uh oh wisconin so up it and and you would do it and it was it was almost like watching a mentalist perform because every single [ __ ] person was like yeah that's right that's right that's right and then I asked you you came and sat down next to me we're done like you know we're hanging out and I was like so you don't you have no idea what you're doing right you're just doing it you're like yeah yeah it was amazing to watch it's a little bit like a magic trick or something it is but it was it but that's why I said Mentalist because you're just leading them on and they're saying yes and you Al also are a good enough mimic that you are able to affect it's like yeah sure but you would get specific like oh o Clair is like this and it's kind of like um and I'm also like hearing them a little bit so I'm just doing like get a quick like close enough you do that kind of but now I do it more like I'll just go through states and cities and say that like this suburb sounds like this but but the what was so great about it is what you were talking to specific people in the audience and you were going ma'am where are you from yeah yeah uh you know I'm from tenly yeah yeah oh you're kind of more like yeah yeah it was so great and they're all just all of them are like yeah W yeah you got us oh man it was brilliant I urge uh everybody out there uh if you can go back in time to uh do you remember when it was I want to say it was a summer 2009 or something so summer 2009 get yourself to the bowy Poetry theater Club something uh and look on the bill it'll be Fred and myself and Amber Tamlin putting it together and uh and get there early if you're going to go back in time when you're set in your time machine don't go at that moment cuz you'll miss it cuz the time the time machine you know spits you out on the uh um Van Wick so you're going to have to get and also don't look it up on social media when you're there cuz there is no social media no social media so so get get uh you know set that dial for like a good two hours before but get yourself to the B and I urge you to see Fred set it's really really funny you're going to enjoy it do not also if you do that don't approach uh either Fred nor I because that'll [ __ ] up the timeline yeah yeah and then we will cease to exist yes and so far no one's done it because here we are existing mhm well this hasn't aired yet darn so yes please yeah right it hasn't aired they wouldn't have had this information right right they would have had the information CU if oh now they would at this point they would have from hearing what you're saying right now yes they've heard the information and so far we still exist it right now we do while we're talking in this moment we still exist because they haven't gotten the information yet but now that they're listening to it they have gotten it but you and I have gone our own separate ways I mean uh I mean it's this isn't going to come out for you know several weeks so you tragically passed and I and I uh I got I don't even know how it happened in such a short span but I was kned and uh so so quickly yeah I I found out my death date H yeah January 9th it's in many years but I found it January 9th well that's uh that's my doctor told me so so a few years from this coming Friday yeah no it's it's I think it's another 30 years or something why were you what what were you looking at out there was somebody holding up you guys don't you I think you guys don't believe in ghosts you know I really believe in ghosts like like heavily heavily believe in ghosts is is there can you heavily believe in ghosts you either believe in them or not right sometimes because some people are like oh I saw a ghost and haunted I'm saying that like I believe strongly in ghosts all the time right in front of me at a distance somewhere close is oh and that's why you were looking over you thought you saw a ghost no I didn't think I know I saw a ghost I really believe Sor very much believe in ghosts okay in a real way not like in a sort of like oh something's haunted or this is spooky I believe in ghosts and as crowds as like there's crowds of ghosts okay wait uh can you describe to me uh to the audience what you see when you see a ghost okay first I hear the sound oo mhm that's not your stomach no okay uh then I see like sort of half figures like the bottom half is faded top half is in a suit with chains or whatever and uh each his own teach his own ghost and uh you know candle holding a sort of candle little night hat and uh yeah just different you know versions of that Heights different heights different sizes and do they float or they walk in they float but not up just they float around they just hovering a few inches above hovering yeah yeah um why do you think they hover because living people are on the ground we have feet gravity they don't they're not affect because it's just their soul that you're just their soul all right um so they're like and why are they moaning what is it what is it about being a ghost makes because when you're a human that's when you speak and you have you know that's when you have like words and all that stuff but when you're a ghost you don't you're not in a business meeting oh it's informal they're just chilling that's the spirit they're they have no schedule right so is that's some political point they're trying to make they're just right so so they're are they communicating with anybody else or they that's just the sound it's the sound so they're when they when you hear that if you're uh alone in a house in the to or the woods or whatever and uh and you hear that's a ghost just talking to himself going making sounds as a cat would as a you know any animal would it's just like it's the it's the sound of a ghost they don't care whether you can hear them and if you do great H yeah okay do ghosts do any good or there is there is there a positive that's human that's a human thing we do good we do not good whatever ghosts are just like they're floating and I've said this before they're just floating they're not humans they're just making sounds do they enjoy this is that something I like or yeah yeah that's the only human trait is they really enjoy it oh so they know Joy they know joy and enjoyment okay I know I know I know I know but same family of same family but they know joy and they know enjoyment okay do they know enjoyment uh I don't know because I can't really I haven't been able to well how did you amass all this knowledge because I believe in ghosts oh I see I really believe in them yeah that's just a little bit no and I'm not scared of them and they're not hiding in closets mhm they're just everywhere why would they hide there's no reason to hide you can't catch them you can't do anything with it's the dumbest thing it's the dumbest thing that people have decided that they're hiding and they're like what they've said to me is like why would what are we hiding from I know people check their shoes for ghosts sometimes before they put their feet dumb as hell stupid stupid and dumb as hell under the bed ghost like yeah under the bed safe deposit box I know people who before they go to sleep will go to their Bank get their safe deposit box out and see if open it up with the double Keys open it nope no ghost in here close it put it back in thank you Mr Harington and then uh and then go back home and go to sleep Ghosts no they don't they're just around now I want to something you said earlier is it reminded me that it's something that's always bothered me since I was a kid uh I never understood the attraction to the use of the purpose of a sleeping cap and we and you'd see the old cartoons and you'd see the old shows and the guy with the candle holder you know whatever um is in a night gown uh that I get okay but also has a long what ISO marks had one right in in in his famous movie what on planet Earth why how is that useful why why was even one made yes right because somebody somewhere it started with um I'm not sleeping well uh how was it jebadiah not I didn't have a good night again I'm so sorry uh I don't know what it is I'm just not sleeping through the night very well um what if I knit you a cap uh and you can wear it on your head um you mean like a beanie no no no this would be as long would dangle down to your feet so it would be several feet long with a little ball at the end of it ball at the end of it um that might make me sleep better and then she did it took several months but she finally got the thing he wore it and uh and he was like this is great like we got to make this and and Market this by that first of all probably comes off easier cuz if it's longer you're like tugging at it oh yeah I wonder if Fel would wear one oh yeah I bet Fel would wear one maybe uh ask him casy uh uh Google Fel singer not the actor who played on Mash uh all the singer uh nerds and E do r. d. s do uh and then uh uh take away the s and the dot and then uh uh was sleeping cap question mark Arrow uh ask if okay thank thank you y if it was me back in those days that someone was like first of all I wouldn't ask anyone to make me one I'd be like I can't I'm cold when I sleep we're in these cabins or whatever I would just go get like a little Beanie or a cap or something yeah just a little something I I don't understand it I don't get it I truly the Gown I understand something you know the Gown it's yeah you know we have to be clothed or whatever or maybe need the warmth but the C oh my God and also what an insane look well I like the look I think it's h i don't like the look I think it's hot I don't like the look I think it's lame I I I disagree I think it's sorry to find my voice in this interview but I don't like it okay it's lame as hell oh come on that's a bit harsh lame it sucks hey hey that look sucks so hard hey long hat get out of here hey hey hey all right I'm sorry well Fred we uh coming to the end of the episode and I close every episode with a question from my daughter Marlo um and your question is let me get my glasses was my shirt open this whole time um will you guys close this and like digitally okay okay Fred armison question from Marlo why is strawberry ice cream pink instead of red because once the cream and all these other ingredients have been added it sort of color-wise waters down it it sort of um there's a better word but it creams it down creams it down but there's something it's I don't want it's something like dissipates it's almost like it degrades the intensity of color and that looks like pink so you're mixing in cream with um for example blueberry ice cream cream is more sort of a like a light purple as you put cream in it's because it's ice cream that it sort of uh dilutes dilutes the intensity of the of the color can you add it in dilute in the original version of the sentence please and show me uh I'm sorry God you should be I've been so screwed by these interviews and podcast I've been so screwed I wor thing that happened oh they they I had um misused some words and I'd gotten some stuff backwards and they just highlighted it and put up the volume and like my professor they made you look like a jerk like an idiot like an idiot worse than a jerk and my professor comes down he goes what did I teach you did I not teach you the English Lang your professor came down from upstairs where was he from the from the the balcony no from the upper patio balcony so yeah yeah so that's what I'm saying like my inability to find words it makes me look as stupid as I am that gets cut out but also English is your third language English is my third language easily yeah or yeah EAS well because it CH you know sort of um but anyway that's my an is it the strawberries get diluted and other flavor uh ingredients get added in okay but that's good now she could argue what about chocolate that still looks like you know the same color of maybe that color be to color might be more intense also strawberries are often not red all the way through no no you cut them in half and you get some white and some and you know some different colors worms Sometimes some worms not where I shop but sure um Fred Armon thank you so much for coming down thank you for uh being a part of this uh we'll see you again yeah and uh all right you'll be back at 6 back at 6 all right I think I was your last one of the day you were I am looking up at your calendar you have a calendar of who Tony hail is all day tomorrow that's a long we're going do a long Marathon Tony hail not to badmouth anyone but that dude you know one of my favorite things is when really super nice guys and Tony Hill is one of them uh you meet in this business a handful of truly sweet empathetic genuinely nice people and when that person after ye knowing them for years goes off on somebody it's the best it's the best cuz it's almost like you're going like that's the there you are and it's such a shock and it's and it's also right on too you're like oh that sounds about right oh that's there are a couple Jack mcre You Know Jack y the nicest guy in the world right the nicest guy in the world and then he went off on this experience he had with somebody I we I I I'll wait till we're done I I wonder if it's the same experience that I heard him talk about oh it probably is because I can't imagine him but he go he goes off it's like 0 to 60 oh my Lord yeah like oh that must have been that must have been bad yeah and uh Tony has like I've heard him go off like wow where's this oh it's the best and it takes a while oh yeah I'm talking like ears and yeah you got to know him for a little while oh it's great we'll try to get him to open up tomorrow yeah all right Fred thank you so much thank you that was a head gum podcast

Channel: Official David Cross

Views: 95,012

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Id: w6SUheCGa24

Length: 68min 23sec (4103 seconds)

Published: Thu Mar 14 2024