Four questions that just might change your life | Tim MacDonald | TEDxYouth@NIS

[Music] that's right I'd like to ask you four questions that if you do choose to answer them they might just change your life before I do that though I'd like to ask these questions as if we were in a court of law tonight while the customs change around the world typically when you come in a court of law to give testimony you have to take an oath or a promise of telling the truth go something like this you take your left hand and place it on a standard of truth Bible book of law you raise your right hand and you say something like this i Timothy McDonald promised to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help me God or you plug in the blanket could we all do that tonight won't you stand up and join me all right I'd like you to take your left hand and place it on a standard of truth likely going to be your iPhone tonight raise your right hand and repeat after me I stay pretty promised to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help me great you see gotta see alright with that I'd like you to like to share with you these questions first question why are you second question what do you believe good question why do you believe what you believe the last question what is your strategy to live out your beliefs I was asked a few years ago to give a day of leadership development to the number of GM's general managers that were coming into nanjing for three days strategy session and I decided to ask them these very questions had never done it before and I simply was interested to hear what other leaders would do with these questions because I had been wrestling with these questions for for more than 30 years I had no idea how they would respond if they would respond well the results actually proved to be pretty profound one interesting thing out of the whole group only one out of the whole group had ever come close to answering these types of questions since then I've asked these same questions than many people I'm now in the hundreds of people here in China that I've asked them to some are leaders of large multinational companies all the way down to line leaders in the shop floor of Factory everybody in between I've asked them to university students entrepreneurs and very similarly to that first group I find that well over 90 percent have never processed these types of questions in their life why not I'll tell you my take on life is way too busy too complex to deal is cut the questions and the busyness actually starts way back in kindergarten or pre-k and it rolls right on through primary school and middle school and high school on to the University your first job your first marriage kids promotions move from this position to this position one country to another never taking time to just pause and ask some of these basic life questions so here we are how about you have you ever asked these types of questions of yourself if you haven't congratulations you're in the high majority and for the few that have since I've been asking these questions of others I've watched as some people really engage and they thoughtfully process through their responses they come out changed on the other side CEO of a larger medical insurance company asked me to come and do the same same talk with her leadership team I did two months later she called and asked hey Tim could you come and have lunch with me in Shanghai I did and as she started the lunch she said I'm so excited I can't wait to tell you yeah but just I've resigned you resign we've been CEO for 12 years she's 38 years old she grew the company up from nothing she goes you know those questions just helped to solidify when I was already processing I've just realized my my work here is done in it it's time for me to move on move on she did the last 18 months I get texts from her from all around the world one day I'm in Venice today wow what an amazing city another time I'm on the Isle of Skye today three days ago she texted me I met Stanford University she's packing school just before the Chinese New Year three weeks ago I was at a government dinner and a young manager saw and he came up and said Tim I just wanted to let you know that I've been processing through those questions and I'm it's changing me not only me but my wife and my parents and my friends I share these questions with so let's do it tonight let's just take these one at a time first question why are you what an odd little question even if English is your first language that's just awkward why are you here tonight why are you a student why aren't you a teacher a leader why are you married why are you single why are you married and wish you were single you get it right it's the why do you exist question what's your purpose let's move on to the next question what do you believe I'll never forget asking these questions to a group of general managers and one woman was from a European country and and when I asked this question she she clearly had a bit of angst ER to voice I think she was still upset by the first question she asked this question what do you believe just is this a religious question well not necessarily but what you do with a god question impacts all the other responses downstream what what do you believe about God what do you believe about money what do you believe about education about work about your family whether you've ever taken time to write out your beliefs or not one thing is true your beliefs Drive you they drive you to expend your money spend your time spend your energy you you your life lines up behind your beliefs stated or not obviously if 90 plus percent or not answer these questions there they're moving on with life not causing them to roll over and die for example if if you believe that education is the secret to happiness and you're probably going to gain as much education as possible in this room tonight there are plenty of examples many of you have done your undergraduate degree many have gotten their masters or multiple master's degrees perhaps a few have gotten their PhDs for the question did you believe deliver the results did degrees or degrees that you've achieved allow you to work in a job that you absolutely enjoy you look I'm sure for many of you it's absolutely yes and then for a few of us maybe maybe not a colleague of mine achieved a PhD in chemical engineering mainly because his parents believed more education better life he believed good to honor your parents the only snag and the problem in the equation he actually didn't like chemistry buddies just kept on pursuing and just kept on gaining more education sadly he's in his late 30s he's never worked in that field it's once the next question why do you believe what you believe well few people seem to know what they believe far fewer know why they believe what they believe why is that maybe we just don't have opportunity to explore what we really believe have opportunity to share our beliefs and listen to other beliefs and practice our beliefs apart from maybe giving a thumbs-up or thumbs-down on your Facebook page or a smiley emoticon or frowning emoticon we just don't find those pockets of community to be able to hear and listen and share what our beliefs are and if you're not able to verbalize vocalize your beliefs or perhaps write them down I question do you know what you really believe one of my favorite undergraduate classes although it was the most grueling it was actually a class on ethics and during the course of the semester we were required to produce 20 papers on varying topics euthanasia what constitutes marriage is there a just war when does life begin many many others and to produce the paper you had to read varying views and opinions on each of these topics and then you had to stick it or land what what do I believe based on all of my research and my learning what do I believe then you had to state why you believe it perhaps you've taken a course like that if we're up to me everybody would have to take that course because what that course did for me was trigger me to really want to know the answer to these questions what I believe and why I believe that and I find myself still on that course today because probably like you the more knowledge I get the more experience I get with my beliefs I practice them they work they don't work I realize that calibrate as I go along more understanding gives more opportunity to change your beliefs and then some beliefs haven't changed at all some of the beliefs that I wrote out in that class on ethics I still believe even more strongly today because now I've had thirty years of experience to apply them and try them realize these really are true all right last question what is your strategy to live out your beliefs if you know what you believe why you believe that the real fun is putting them to use applying them in every area of your life that's where the joy begins to happen when we live in agreement with what we really believe one of my beliefs everybody is redeemable you make mistake you can recognize it was a mistake you say you sorry you get back to the path and try to do it right one of my beliefs a collie and I were coming back from a business dinner just about three years ago I was driving we just pulled away from the light and into the periphery of my left side came this car came flying in and smashed into the car was driving just the results after I came to because it knocked me out after I came to I had lost my vision I was just trying to assess the damage of me I'm listening to my colleague in the seat next to me he was gasping for air it was not pretty it wasn't fun it was called a bad night thankfully my vision came back in very short order and although we sustained minor injuries we both recover extremely well the driver of the other car that night he was living out his belief that it's okay to drink and then drive although in this country that's totally illegal and because it's illegal the insurance companies have zero obligation to pay for any other damage the police advised me the only way I could recoup my losses was to sue both the driver and the insurance companies so I did several months later I find myself in court Chinese Court lawyers on both sides there's the judge up top in comes the driver now for several months he shuffles in because he's ankle bracelets and handcuffs after three hours it was decided that the family actually quite a poor family wasn't his car didn't have the resource to pay to pay the damages so the insurance companies agreed to pay a bit the family paid all that they had but I was still short about 50% of what was due so the hearing was about to close why through my lawyer I asked the judge so what would happen if I just accepted the insurance money I accepted the money from the family and call it quits the judge looked at me really shocked he said well if you do that the debts paid and the prison will be set free and case is closed I thought for a minute that's why I want to do he couldn't believe it the judge couldn't believe it the lawyers going to believe it the whole room came alive literally the judge pushed the court recorder out of the way he sat down at the computer and he typed up the deal he typed up the agreement we all agreed to it the prisoners going to be set free just before we vacated the courtroom I asked the judge would you mind if I just said a couple things to the driver of the prisoner he said absolutely not absolutely he commanded the driver stand up face it he was not being nice and here's the scene this is in the courtroom and I simply said to this man I said you know before you leave I just want you to beat my family you can see I've got my laptop up and introducing to my family because they're all really happy that I'm alive tonight and I just thought you might want to beat them before you leave and I just want to say one thing before you go I totally forgive you not just for the money but I totally forgive you for almost killing me I just thought you might want to know I closed laptop closed laptop the whole courtroom erupted and cheers and applause and I was shocked when everything simmered down the judge said Wow mr. McDonald knows you must be very educated well not really I've just made a lot of mistakes in my life and I've been forgiven many times over you know what unfortunately it takes an incident that sometimes is dramatic to prove out our beliefs are either in sync with our life or they're not in sync with our life I'm married when I was 26 years old beautiful book very smart very funny I was so happy to marry her shortly after we married I started my career and I found out I had another love I love to work and that I did while I really believed in being a good husband later a good father I I really believed in working hard too and and I just wasn't around that much I worked a lot of hours and I traveled a lot little did I know 14 short years later my wife would die at age 40 after she died life was a mess and literally as I'm cleaning up going through things I stumbled across some notes that she had written but never put into the mail one was to a school friend hey everything's going great kids are doing fine Tim just got another promotion I'd do anything to have more of that guy's time boom oh I felt like I was kicked so hard and instantly out of my mouth piggies words God if you ever give me another wife I'll do it differently on your later he did and I have you know a lot of people seem to be afraid to talk about their beliefs and sometimes we just don't want to offend other people if they believe differently than us so we just don't talk about it beliefs and essentially we become belief starved but I'd like to call you back into the courtroom of truth and encourage you to know why are you alive what do you believe why do you believe those things and then go live it adjust and calibrate as you go it certainly isn't too early to start and it definitely is not too late thank you very much you

Channel: TEDx Talks

Views: 47,804

Keywords: TEDxTalks, English, China, Life, Life Hack

Id: qSf7NGoBd6A

Length: 20min 50sec (1250 seconds)

Published: Wed Mar 08 2017