Foster Kids Share Horrible Truth About The Foster Care System - AskReddit

no privacy no respect no compassion we were simply cattle kids who were a part of the foster care system what are some of your horror stories my family adopted eight kids through the foster adoption system we wound up with a family of three a family of four and one with no siblings along the way we had about 200 children come and go through the house there were all sorts of Horrors we had one girl who was around 17 whose dad was a professor and an alcoholic he both molested her and broke her jaw with a punch we had a small boy whose relative had tried to stab him we had a family of four sisters for a long while who turned out to have been sexually molested very severely they had to go to another home as we had other children and it was no longer safe for those kids we had a baby for three years who would rat and was unable to form emotional bonds with other humans all of the children we adopted permanently were born addicted to drugs and alcohol two of the younger ones twins also had cerebral palsy and were never supposed to be able to walk or talk through years of occupational therapy they are both ballerinas now and arguably talk too much so yeah it's been an adventure I could tell so many more stories being painfully aware that the families I was staying with did not take me in for any reason other than money abuse and negligence was an everyday occurrence and I had no idea that abuse wasn't normal my adoptive dad has an anecdote from when I was around five and came to live with him for the first time I opened the fridge and with wide eyes said in disbelief you have food in here so yeah the whole foster care system is pretty flawed and messed up happy I was able to get out I wasn't in foster care but my parents fostered a lot of other kids while I was growing up the one that sticks with me is when I was about four or five a little boy came to stay with us he was about two years old and I remember asking my mom mom why does that little boy have casts on both his legs I thought you could only break one at a time and she just kind of sobbed and said because some parents aren't very nice to their little boys I didn't really understand what any of that meant until years later when I remembered it for some reason or enough I asked her about it and apparently one of his parents broke both of his legs and threw him into the wall I still think about him and wonder how his life turned out a whole lot that I try not to reminisce but the short end of the stick is my foster parents clearly had no intention of showing me any kind of love becoming their foster child after being passed around the rest of my family and being rejected was really scarring for me I moved in with him freshman year of high school and I actually ended up staying with him the whole way through the only reason I chose to stay is because if I left for another foster house I wouldn't be able to go to the same school and while there were few I made some really good friends I wasn't willing to give up so I decided to put up with the neglect in hindsight I suppose I became stronger over the experience but it always scares me thinking of ever talking to my family again or even having a girlfriend because I'm afraid that I'll treat them poorly like my family did me the only foster home I actually have memories of was amazing I went to live with my mama her name at 10 months old she was so kind and just had this aura around her that felt like home I lived with her and her three children until midway through kindergarten one afternoon when we got off the bus and we're going inside to change into play clothing my social worker was at the kitchen table he told me to pack everything up I was so bewildered but I did as I was told it was like a light had been shut off in my mama when I came out with all my things packed the social worker said that Mama's adoption process had been stalled and he found me family to live with he told me I would be much happier in a white family than with a black family I was so confused mama was all I knew she told me I would always be family and she would keep fighting to adopt me I got in my social workers car and he drove me to my paternal grandparents home I lived with him the rest of my childhood but I spent every Sunday at Mama's my grandparents weren't bad and my foster home wasn't bad but being pulled out of a loving home that was all I knew was terrible it was all because the social worker that had been assigned recently didn't think I belonged in a black family and he found a bio family still talk to my mom often and I'll always be thankful for her and who she is as a person her unapologetic take no crap but always kind attitude is who I strive to be you couldn't shame her because she never did anything she'd be ashamed of she's honestly the best person I've ever known seeing her at the table devastated still haunts me some nights when I lay in bed my parents just recently got divorced and they were fighting really bad my mom moved us back to Florida from Illinois and had a stay at our aunt's house for a month or two at the time there was four of us I was 3 to 4 years old my younger brother was around too my older sister and brother were no older than 11 or 12 anyway my mom went back to Illinois to finalize some things and get some belongings of ours so we lived with our aunt within those first two weeks from what my mom told us after signing temporary power of attorney over to my aunt she put us in foster care I was in multiple homes from what I can remember I was so young but some memories will never leave one of the first homes was the worst one if I didn't eat my food I stayed the night at the kitchen table one time I threw up and I got thrown into a room for a full day and wasn't allowed out I remember crying under the door saying I was sorry that same house had like six to seven kids in it I shared a room with four other children from what I remember though the children were very nice the foster parents were terrible not only did they verbally abuse us they fought each other the husband and wife would essentially beat the living hell out of each other in front of us it was honestly the scariest shit I saw when I was that young then I got moved houses after some time I can't remember them all but I do remember temporarily being under the same household as my younger brother we had a very very nice woman in her older son maybe husband they were so nice we called her mrs. Kim she bought us so many toys took us to the park all the time she was an angel I remember her face still to this day I hope she's doing well almost failing my classes in high school because 10 teen girls in a three-bedroom house with two staff members and one van meant getting home from everybody's drug test appointments and grocery shopping and crap 8:00 at night and nobody was allowed to be in their rooms until bedtime so no homework got done until 10:00 p.m. under my sheets with a flashlight only ever got half my work done and started getting in trouble for falling asleep in class bullied for being the only girl in the house who didn't drink and get high at every possible opportunity new staff every month or so because the pay was bad so never had anyone to talk to verbally and emotionally abused by the power-tripping bitch who owned the place and collected checks for every girl who stayed there got beat up for reading had to watch grease and Legally Blonde on repeat every night because those were the only two movies we had no privacy no respect no compassion we were simply cattle sorry this is very long I've never gotten the chance to tell this whole story this subject makes people around me uncomfortable when I talk about it I am 22 growing up I lived in a very small County my high school only had less than 500 kids total everyone knew everyone I got taken into foster care when I was 16 because my mom had smacked me and then called the cops on me while she was high on meth she was arrested that night it was a school night I woke up around midnight to someone yelling my name and pounding on my bedroom door when I opened the door there was a social worker and two police officers standing in my hallway they told me to grab my school stuff in some clothes and come with them I cried and said goodbye to my pug I was in foster care for a few years when I was younger and I knew I wasn't coming home again the social worker took me to the Social Services Building and put me in one of the visit rooms you know the rooms with the double-sided mirror in all the toys where they let foster kids visit their biological parents I sat alone in that room and cried until around 7:00 in the morning the social worker took me to a bathroom to change out of my pajamas and into school clothes then she took me straight to school no sleep no shower she said she would pick me up after school I got to school way early and sat and cried and waited for any of my friends to show up on the first day I only told two or three people what had happened I told a best friend and my older sister who no longer lived at home I don't remember a lot of what happened at school today I just remember crying a lot and my teachers and the other students asking me what was wrong I was too ashamed to tell anyone else after school the social worker picked me up and brought me back to social services where my new foster family was waiting in the parking lot I recognized one of the teenaged girls from school she was a year younger than me and though I had never spoken to her she always seemed like a brat she was one of the biological daughters the family also had a biological son who was a year older than me a one-year-old daughter and three older daughters who no longer lived at home there were two other teenaged foster girls in the home who didn't go to my school there was also a younger maybe three year old foster girl with special needs this is where things get jumbled or spots are left blank in my memory I just remember lots of fake smiles from them at first I remember crying almost every day and being in trouble for it the mother didn't let the foster kids into our room until it was bedtime so when I'd cried I had to do it in the living room in front of everyone I tried to cry in the bathroom at first but with seven people in the house I couldn't stay in there very long and if the mother walked by and heard me crying or her kids heard me and told on me then she'd come and knock and tell me to come out to the living room it's very dehumanizing to sit and cry in front of people nearly every day they'd make jokes or just comments about how it was a moody and mopey person the mother and daughter had very high school Mean Girl personalities when one of the other foster girls was out of the room or away on a home visit they would talk garbage about her and try to get us other girls to chime in we couldn't bond or find comfort in each other because they were always driving wedges between us the biological family called us the foster kids the daughters also called us slaves jokingly there was a divide in the house us in them we were treated inferior in every way I don't remember a lot of specifics and I didn't want to go into examples of how they treated us my mind has done a good job of erasing a lot of it and that wasn't my main point of commenting I haven't gotten to that yet but I think it is important to get across that these people were just evil they only did it for money and spoiled their children while denying us basic needs the father was verbally sexual towards us the son got into a toxic relationship with one of the girls the mother and her daughters were horribly emotionally abusive we weren't allowed any privacy or alone-time the special-needs girl that I mentioned earlier slept in a playpen in the living room downstairs by herself because she cried too much she spent most of her time in there alone because she was a bad kid anyway I wanted to comment in the first place to share how ashamed I was to be a foster kid I eventually had to tell my teachers because I couldn't stop crying at school I kept getting sent outside or to the office after a few weeks I'm sure everyone at school knew what had happened I cannot explain how damaging it was to me personally to see the way people look at you when you're in a situation like that my teachers my friends kids at school that had never liked me judges social workers counselors my sister everyone everyone looked at me like I was a crippled dog I developed a real fear of looking people directly in the eyes because I couldn't handle it I was afraid for people to feel sorry for me people started walking on eggshells around me or avoiding me completely because it made them feel bad to know what I was going through as well as being treated like an annoyance and less than human in the foster home I felt like a burden to everyone who knew me I made everyone uncomfortable I think that's the most damaged foster care did to me it took my humanity away from me I felt like an outcast from my own life at home I was one of the gross foster kids at school I was the girl who cries a lot and doesn't have a home or a family at court I was the poor girl whose mother is a meth addict at counselling I was the girl who had a traumatic childhood and is still suffering I wasn't allowed to be myself anymore everyone took that from me and replaced it with pity in their own discomfort I apologize for this being so dang long and disorganized I've never told anyone this much about that period of my life thank you to anyone who makes it through all of that Florida ex foster care child here so strapping boys and girls I'm not worried about any daxing this was years ago and I don't even know if the place still exists since I moved to the other side of the globe there exists a company in Central Florida known as the Arnett house which has a large compound in Ocala due to the lack of available foster homes and jails for kids some genius decided it would be a great idea to house criminal children and foster children together because they're all problem kids right you got in by either being taken into foster care and placed there where you broke the law so many times that a Florida judge made you a resident in our net for rehabilitation or both while I was stuck there I saw all sorts of messed up things staff members were either great or horrible nothing ever I'm between once a fight broke out where one of the criminal girls attacked my foster friend and the staff just sat back for a couple minutes to watch before intervening I ended up jumping in between them and throwing my arms out sort of like in a tee pose until staff eventually pulled the criminal girl away yeah I got the nickname Jesus my long hair at the time probably had something to do with it too when my younger brother was moved in I found out he 16 was flirting and making semi sexual moves at a mentally handicapped resident girl 13 I talked to him about it told him that it was not okay and he told me to mind my business I alerted the staff and they explained there was nothing they could do until they both ran off together and had sex in the nearby woods like a different couple had done a few days prior oh and last story for now I wasn't allowed to learn to drive I lived there from age 16 to 18 when my high school offered driver's ed courses for free I was explicitly banned from taking them because the big boss monster claimed that if I learned to drive I could theoretically steal their van and drive away with a bunch of the other residents my biological mother was autistic very high-functioning but also suffered from extreme depression she tried to kill me in her when I was two my aunt took me in and wanted to adopt me she's amazing CPS in New York City strongly supported her gaining legal custody of me but my bio mom fought it for five years despite dozens of specialists case workers and doctors testifying that my bio mom was a danger to me the state of New York refused to give my aunt full custody my bio mom eventually surrendered custody when I was seven after five years of legal battles because she was pregnant with another child no that other child did not turn out okay the amount of emotional trauma under Tazz a child from having to repeatedly testify against my own mother in court still haunts me to this day but at least I turned out okay I was a volunteer for our County social services department simply helping out with office paperwork as I was a computer software engineer at the time one of the social workers approached me one day and told me that there was a boy that they were having difficulty placing because he simply didn't want to be a foster child and wanted to stay with his mother who didn't want him and asked the social services department to find him a home I met the boy and we seemed to hit it off from the get-go and he agreed to become my foster son he was 10 at the time he was with me till he turns 16 at which time I adopted him with his mother's blessings I put him through college and he got a great job earning quite a bit more than I was he continued to stay with me till he got married I became grandpa to his great kids his kids are adults now with families of their own making me a great grandpa so now in my old age I briefly moved into a retirement home but my son insisted that I move in with him he told me that I took care of them all those years and now it was his turn to take care of me so I now live with him and his taking very good care of me thanks for listening to radio TTS hit the subscribe button for more videos about things no one wants to talk about and please share your own stories in the comments below were you a foster child or do you know someone who was let us know [Music]

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Id: YgtIn8ne6Q4

Length: 16min 45sec (1005 seconds)

Published: Tue Aug 20 2019