First Time Watching *VAMPIRES SUCK* And It's Better Than Twilight?!

[Music] foreign this is the last one that I'm doing I'm not going to be doing any more for a while I know there's probably a lot of people that want me to check out stuff like Hot Shots part 2 or whatever other movies loaded weapon there's so many other parody movies that has been made I've already done the Twilight movies like a year ago you can go ahead and check those out I've also been drinking when it comes to these last two movies I wasn't drinking for the first movie which was Epic movie but it has not helped whatsoever if you like to see my fullest reaction to this movie all the other movies I do in TV shows you can click the link Down Below in the description to my patreon and with all that being said let's go ahead and get into Vampire Sucks y'all let's get it [Music] I celebrate for 75 years y'all these Vampire Sucks dang yeah I said [ __ ] them 75 years I love Regency bro bring back so many memories from the 90s I don't know what movies though but you know bring back those memories what would you do to save someone you love for Edward I would stop at nothing gee we all know that with your crazy self you got no freaking self-esteem things the same dude from Disaster Movie no hey he's in this movie he's stripping give it up some ones [Music] yeah yeah you gotta show the girls in bikinis that's how they get the teenagers in that's what I'm talking about yes yo y'all got it and put on that sunscreen you know oh my God there is Edward we love you you're the best okay for anybody that likes Jacob you have mental problems I'm sorry I don't know why I keep thinking of Gwyneth Paltrow whenever I seen that little short girl [Music] Bella acting like she a vampire already uh I'm still trying to have our hope my mom in Nevada she's always on the road because she started doing some pro golfer dang y'all really have to do them like that come on now man town of sporks Washington 3100. did you say Swartz or sports that's completely different 31-19 3119. I mean she's still alive though she's just a vampire I haven't seen you in a while your hair is longer see your mustache is more pervy because it's hard for me to accept my little girls growing up I mean look at the size of those tits what what my God damn they letting us know how this movie's gonna be already that's pretty much our character right there team angst I hope I have an Apple store here [Music] what's up with the lyrics uh they open about the damn vampire stuff how you homeless and you and vampire if you don't rob somebody sir yes super strength and super speed and you immortal you could just rob somebody to take their house I haven't been back in a long time wasn't this living in Florida I forgot was she living in Florida or Arizona damn remember your your hamster Herman [Laughter] so irresponsible dad why don't you [ __ ] my oh [ __ ] that's definitely unrated I'm gonna come downstairs some people excited to see you what's there passing teenager right come on girl you got to put more uh gasp to your talking you know you gotta be more socially awkward you know gotta put more gulps and stuff in your talking [Music] they do it bro so this dude has been in like every parody movie for the last three years or four years careful everybody I'm Gonna Roll you down the hill oh boy I'm real scared bring it on oh here we go uh here come freaking weird Jacob I'm Jacob hey play doctor I've never played Doctor what is doctor if you have to put that in the comments guy I never played it I go to school on the reservation the gamble Jose that's what I'm saying bro I know you paralyzed but bruh put some weight into him man what is that what do you think it needs some paint to go in for round two we're here what are you doing ever since puberty I've been feeling a little different ever since you were born you've been feeling different weirdo dude foreign [Music] I thought dogs were into squirrels not cats that looks like something that would be and not another team movie bro oh somebody got a Nissan you already know they ratchet where'd you get that haircut fantastic glass man where'd you get that stupid ass piercing look like a [ __ ] junkie I hate that Pearson [Music] well this is different from the Twilight movies because everybody in the Twilight movies was freaking over heels for her in this movie they over bullying her like crazy she ain't doing a good job of acting as Bella though Charlie I'm Derek Rebecca you weak on that right sir you gotta work on that cheat sheets human growth hormone harvested organs oh sir oh you must be Becca You Really Gonna just grab her like that bro that's your first interaction I'm Jennifer hey hey girl from That's a raven let's take the high road okay hello losers I'm gonna pretend to be your BFF but if you touch Rick swing I'll cut you yeah it's a big knife I bet you it's bigger than uh whoever Rick swing some I don't know here we go with the Collins that's her name right Valencia Collins those are the Sullins oh yeah copyright reasons but they're really really close gee you want to get up on the action you feel me see there's more room for everybody a total mystery they feed on human flesh and they all sleep in coffins so what do you make of that maybe they're Canadian she a dumbass still she was a dumbass and that's a raven so who's that Snooki J Wow DJ Pauly D nobody gives a [ __ ] about Jersey Shore bro we're high schoolers oh that's Batman I've got another guy on the side then why the freaking you worried about him he went off to fight in Iraq for a year but we write to each other all the time his name is John John Connor Dear John two weeks together in those two weeks you did things to me no guy had ever done before I just hope I'm able to poop again soon no are you like even listening no is this the only movie that this girl ever been in because I haven't seen her anything else oh right okay now she's starting to do the social the awkwardness thank you girl smell like spoiled fish sticks mysterious boy you're destined to have a fatalistic relationship with that will spawn four books in a movie franchise four books damn I didn't know it was that many books [Music] that girl stinks so bad it's going through the Hazmat suit gotta stop using the ax body spray girl ax body spray I've said it before stop girls you're part to blame cause you're [ __ ] these dudes if you wanted to shoot one sound would it that's how you be on the D spell yeah yeah tuna nah it ain't lunch don't don't try to excuse it or like come on now we already know what's up you smell like tilapia tilapia in the deepest Abyss trying to figure you out on the first conversation all right sorry page 63 in your books hey I've seen a little bit of Vampire Diaries now it's the era of vampires and zombies [Music] yeah I don't want to eat that anymore because I was on your foot [Music] I'll see a single mom bro you can't you can't mess with her oh [Music] teen moms go check out MTV off for teen moms and then team moms too and then Teen Moms TV and then team mom's team ums and then team moms week 16. oh I know her and I know him he's from Wizards of Waverly Place why aren't you wearing a shirt exactly why aren't you wearing a [ __ ] shirt it's always the same and name questions who are you why are you doing this okay the carpets match the drapes shoot really you know go ahead and show me if them carpets match from drapes I got a serious case of the munchies see nobody don't want your Blackness here Cheetos It Ain't Easy Being Cheesy Antoine what put a shirt on I'm killing I mean can I kill that vajayjay though first you know who we are don't you uh I wanna be in sync is it Black Eyed Peas oh yeah typo and nogalodis created this and I'm a wizard and I'm white let's get it oh and you like that pretty boy huh jerk him off oh where's Selena Gomez at I want to holler at her [ __ ] ew ah girl do you even have a license stop staring at me with your damn Prius that's pretty cool didn't get his hair doesn't look similar to what they did with uh whatever that guy's name is [Laughter] he didn't want to mess up that lotion that he just put on oh well he did pushed her earlier in the day so he deserves that now that Carmen is a [ __ ] is that the same arm that he punched her with so yeah he definitely deserves that [Music] what is it that y'all love about Twilight and I I don't think I ever asked that while watching the Twilight movies man I don't want to see this [ __ ] who was secretly crushing on Serena excuse me wrong show XOXO she's crazy she's crazy she's insane are you okay yeah um now weird wig boy desperately in love please be the mother of my children or are you sure you don't want to be the father with her children you like my little gay brother damn it and disrespected you by just throwing your stuff away it's just something really odd about that guy same with that wig here I come [Music] oh God [Music] you have to hit a man where he breathes Becca they pretty small if she got all three rip off the mustache sweetheart but you love your mustache look at the skin on the back uh sleepwalking definitely makes you limp you're sleeping has anybody ever had sex sleepwalking that's insane girl you know damn well you ain't got them hands oh she laying in that position okay I see you Bella just oh oh maybe I wasn't dreaming after all what the hell was you dreaming about the blood drive generously sponsored by the Sullen family oddly about to drink all of it even if it got HIV in it and herpes get your Flair for prom how are you so alive we finally got a theme it's gonna be awesome let's switch on these vampires we just came up with it randomly oh cool huh how did they come up with randomly isn't that the freaking name of the damn sports team I don't know prom's really not my thing well it's my thing no I I don't know if I'm into that only been dreaming about being crowned prom queen since I was a sperm in my dad's body you know damn well you're not about to be prom queen come on now you're like really you're a side character I've never been to Prime I would love to go to like one of those uh remake proms or something like that your skin is pale white dress fashionably and you abstain from sex how do you know here I'm saying some shots because you haven't had it in the first two days y'all met out loud say it Jonas brother hahaha I I ha ha ha ha ha oh my God that reminds me of the South Park thing that's why I was laughing so freaking hard Simon no that's just my brain that's funny okay I am a killer oh are you texting yeah Jennifer no how does it waterline no bro you don't kill them because you're eating I want to eat you that's cool yeah I know she love that most guys aren't into that shoot how you gonna eat her though you're gonna put her up against the wall or what you gonna do you're gonna be basic with it are you gonna eat it from behind how you gonna do it bro me I like to do all positions to be honest with you I love I love eating a girl out to be with you why pretty so you don't have to be smart dang she got to call you sweet bro oh that boy want that rematch bro remember that fade [ __ ] be positive about first every single time she doesn't I just I do it too third oh next I was gonna hold the [ __ ] out of him how you gonna do it though we gonna throw it back you're gonna do it on top you gonna do it when he on top how you gonna do it what is that a Barack Obama mask that's not what I meant eat her bro stop teasing her or whatever you doing because I know you a version too A lot of people told me that when I was watching the Twilight movies I thought this boy was playing but no he was actually a virgin too this girl Bella she about that bro she be watching those Prime videos man brother you see her you see her she aggressive I've never gone to first base before no let's go off yeah exactly why are you stopping bro let her get on top and freaking take you on a ride bro security ring man take this off oh damn is she eating it [Music] oh you gotta let her freaking go crazy damn you I'm jealous damn especially she wearing the grandma down too you already know she going crazy you're gonna have 12 kids I like it rough I know you do oh let me oh [ __ ] that boy Edward too much of a you know tap me in bro I'm trying to protect you I'm not he know he gonna come in like four seconds I've never seen lingerie like that that lingerie will have me go freaking insane hey you up my teen hormones are raging and I want to have sex with you you don't even know what sex is really it's the ultimate pubescent girl fantasy is it what did y'all fantasy I want to have sex with a Vampire like I promise as long as you're with me you will never get hurt [Laughter] you gotta clarify her heart would never get hurt yeah oh my God that lingerie yeah that brother's starving the freaking the wheelchair the boy faster than them to be honest with you is that is the redhead girls that's the same girl from Save the Last Dance I don't remember they they all look so similar to me her Renee Zellweger and then the girl from The Last Dance I don't know I guess that's why they cast her oh I don't know I'm just talking bro is that a Volvo that boy Edward's driving a priest a Prius not a Volvo they might not accept me time when my ex-boyfriend Deshawn invited me to his Grandmama's house to celebrate Kwanzaa oh girl you've been around you've been around the world and she looked just like the girl from the movie The what's her name Alice of course she in this movie I'm Edward's mom Eden where the other chick at another dude at oh no the dude is in the wheelchair where's the other chick at Iris has business in the future it's coming early this month she probably already has tampons already we have no souls and we walk the earth trying to satisfy an unquenchable thirst for blood he looks like Christian Bale to me I'm Jeremiah new to the family he has a stick up his ass [Music] is that a Big Mac I never had a Big Mac but you have to open your presents I hope this time you won't tell me what the hell it is oh my God I forgot about this [Music] Edward help me you got super speed [Music] okay he's still a dumb not the brand new piano we just bought then none of y'all take lessons on Mrs Cullen still look fine as hell [Laughter] at least she's being generous you know giving them cups but now they're gonna want her look at that hairstyle Bro Look at he got a bowl cutting and you look like you about to drink somebody come out of here white ass vampire that's your brother and your dad bro you really gonna do them like that okay your nose you making her bleed more and more Edward every time I bring a girl home you guys try to eat her cause you a dumbass Edward I didn't know it was that easy to have your hairstyle look exactly like Robert Pattinson yeah that's his name Chinese food they'll be hungry again in half an hour I don't know where that stereotype came from that you'll be hungry in half an hour when you eat Chinese food because when I eat Chinese food I'll be stuffed pause [Music] I never used one of those are they really about to do all five Twilight movies in one movie nope I don't know as long as I'm around you you'll never be safe that's why I want you to bite me yeah man eater bro pick her up and put her against at that table I mean not the table it's just a tree I couldn't live with myself shut that virgin [ __ ] up bro eat her ass and then literally eat her ass it's a lot like being George Clooney they've had a few George Clooney jokes in these parody movies what's up with George Clooney if y'all can tell me what's up it's pretty wrinkly over time I mean yeah when you get soft of course it gets wrinkly promise me that you won't do anything Reckless besides what you did with her for dinner I don't know if she can top that promise I won't date Chris Brown even that boy still famous but he beat the [ __ ] out of Rihanna but then when it comes to freaking Jonathan Majors y'all want to freaking get on his case about it that's crazy that's really crazy you know my goodness you're just gonna leave me here alone in the woods in an area filled with vampires who want to eat me [Music] am I seeing this right this girl going crazy you didn't even just a d yet miss bro who is the redhead bro God at least she fun great that's exactly what I was talking about was it because it seemed like you were just screaming the whole time she's about to help you I came here to help you you don't walk away [Music] I don't remember how these Twilight movies went damn old man where's the bro code huh you know you don't try to eat someone's girlfriend right after they break up with them why not I do I don't give a damn Kardashians this is the first movie where the wine is like really taken over and this movie is like to be honest with you it is like garbage but the wine has like like I said taken over to the point where I'm like just like whatever what because the taste of your blood could send me into a frenzy bro sucker off but on the other hand just do it already is this Evil Dead okay she making them faces like she's getting sucked off [Applause] I thought she died and just like that Edward was gone you should have gave him some more of that team angst girl gave him more of them gasps in the hair but behind the ear you know this guy [Music] eat eat crazy I don't know everyone reminded me of him who is that [Laughter] that dude's so Random and every night I had nightmares that would make me scream really really bad [Music] no that that scream that she brought out when I was watching Twilight was pretty terrifying like to be serious for sure that was really scary because he caught me so off guard how long is this movie why would anyone want to gonna flop what movie oh yeah I'm making fun of the movie that you're parodying right now okay a damn sure your baby to be honest I mean she did spoil it but at the same time y'all should have been so busy focusing on y'all conversation and not her conversation and y'all read the book so why does it matter die that's what she wants but you can what the hell is a stream movie what was that were you parked by Edward see at school tomorrow I'm the same way [ __ ] hey that's your business not mine come over here you can sit on my bike man you already too much for your bike anyway you want me to sit on your bike but then you threw something at me no sir and he didn't throw the ones you threw a freaking Bud Light can this is your throttle ew [Laughter] I'm a man nut Becca no you're not with that freaking wig take that [ __ ] off I've had my apartment so you're 13. say again I will do the exact same thing what he has to say I do this for purpose girl that's what I'm talking about Bella he's stopping we're having the bike whenever I'm about to ask you something really nobody gives a [ __ ] what you gotta say Jacob weirdo self into kids I wanted to ask you oh come on will you go on a date with me hell no look at you you look freaking hideous and you're into kids you pervert [ __ ] you just got the brake line chase her down you freaking werewolf you're faster than the freaking motorcycle stop you're going to hurt yourself you left her so you don't give a damn well I know it might seem Petty but I can't stop obsessing over you I don't get this but I mean it is funny don't drink that though yeah please don't drink that milk the spoiled milk the milk's gotten bad please don't oh yourself you're slow Jacobs and you're ugly you're stupid and you're weird here he goes with the shirt furry are those teeths yeah that's not even funny he looks like Shelton Benjamin of course he gets freaking hot sauce that's racist yet her fine Bryce Dallas Howard she's so fine she wants to torture you what you did to Jack I didn't do nothing to Jack you did Sir and you don't never want to talk about it like accept who you are [Music] Madame chihuahuas are dangerous bro don't underestimate the Chihuahua you're no werewolf that's why I always travel in a pack pack of chihuahuas they may take you out bro of course they dancing with some of these parody movies and dancing and wasn't they doing this with Meet the Spartans [Music] come on come on Bella you know you want that don't you let them Levi jean shorts tub of Ben and Jerry's there you are I've been looking everywhere for you you need to look for some sleep [ __ ] you look tired I can't be talking damn I wish I had my wine I could have drunk it with Edward right there I finally found someone to forgives me that's a cool reference right there Lady Gaga Lady Gaga fine as hell to be honest if I could be with Lady Gaga I would lay that guy I think Lady Lady Gaga is think Lady Gaga is thick my goodness if you're Rebecca may be dead I don't really know the full extinct of her powers so for her to think that she's dead it's crazy to me rebound guy yeah why are you taking your shirt off my contract says I have to every time that messed that dude's life up bro I hope you ain't spraying no freaking ax body spray why do you cover yourself in that [ __ ] I don't want to smell like pot in me why not I don't know much about this guy's career or whatever I don't know what he's up to now I like you too you're staying in a friend zone sir I just feel so I'm like you need to secure your ass with a seat belt I'm here to give you that D I mean with him it's all about my [ __ ] okay what I was I was not paying attention I'm moving by so fast right here Becca at fisherman scully's funeral roast is in the oven weed is in the top drawer oh that's a great date right there bro take initiative bro get some weed and some cuneti or poo Nanny yeah my God Pakistan Edward I'm so sorry you see the future see you telling me that you don't know that Becca is alive without her ew what the hell was that that big ass freaking index finger that is fine you don't have to kill yourself anymore you saw him leave [Applause] [Laughter] I'm not into cucks Jacob once and for all all right [Music] about that [ __ ] but not the right [ __ ] really Jacob [Applause] second girl off well he he kind of did he kind of did yeah yeah show the hoes bruh damn girl get that Foley who the hell get the glitter ball that's supposed to be uh Gwen Stacy no not Gwen Stacy that's supposed to be um Gwen Stefani no not Gwen Stefani uh damn I forget her name it starts with a g right he already uh did what he was supposed to do and this was more than the movie to be honest with you it's not Sunny anymore it's twilight hey new moon this is me and all my glory why are your pants down sir I promise you that I will never leave you again shut your touch what's up stop it you're killing him you're killing me killing him I haven't even had sex yet even yeah I'm surprised like come on bro this dude lived for a hundred years he hasn't done nothing with no girl like come on I don't believe that bro I've been going Buck Wild bruh I would have been like Wilt Chamberlain Becca oh Dad what are you doing here all of the killing was done by vampires she's lying she lying we just grooving right now what the hell is this the 90s why are you playing slow music separate arm's length apart man take your eyes on somewhere bro we vampires bro we about to suck each other off odds like the part [Laughter] this movie so far is somewhat better than a disaster movie I'll say that so that's great that's what I was hoping for oh okay I see y'all no not the Kool-Aid that everybody else got a drink they probably got pee in it maybe even uh sperm the sports the sports sports dear Edward I'm going to kill you have a great summer thank you so much I appreciate that what is her name Denzel Washington or Denzel Washington and Glendale I don't remember her name and now the moment you all been waiting for what was this the dude from the 80s Jennifer and Rick they cheated that's what I'm talking about he looks familiar you two received over 69 000 votes in a class of only 300. [Laughter] [Laughter] we won [Applause] yes I still don't know her name was it Gwen Stacy or something I know it starts with a g the [ __ ] is he talking about haha that's funny I guess whatever is his mouth even wide enough to hit those spots though damn that girl damn she got her eyes roll in the back her head is that the spot for her foreign you should have kept going bro she was about to freaking squirt you know what I mean it's how I always imagined you're a [ __ ] liar Team Jacob [ __ ] of course you I know you would like Team Jacob your weird ass that's not the end of the movie I know that's not the end of the movie that was so Random what time is it oh Bella killed him all right everybody there we go with uh vampire sucks I hope you enjoyed my reaction to this movie and watch this movie with me please like the video share comment down below subscribe because you know when I upload my videos and follow me on all my social media links will be down in the description below if I said that right I had a good time kinda with this movie it was pretty cool because I was just thinking about all the other Twilight movies that I watched but this movie was ridiculous it was like a high school play or Middle School play what is your favorite Twilight movie if you're a Twilight fan I don't care the wine is death to me this music is hitting but these he doesn't like little freaking babies all right everybody there we go with um uh [Music] uh Vampire Sucks yeah Vampire Sucks this movie was better than Disaster Movie I will say that it was probably on par with Epic movie it has some good jokes here and there not really a lot that you can say with this movie like the other parody movies that I've done but I just hope John enjoyed watching this movie with me and you enjoyed this reaction man I can't wait to hear your thoughts I will actually go ahead and give this movie The plus and I felt a lot of persuasion from the wine right here where I was enjoying a lot of the movie where the movie was very bad um but all that really matters is that we have a good time and we bond with each other you know without it being said man I'll see you on the next one I'm about to pass out peace

Channel: MellVerse

Views: 71,169

Keywords: vampires suck, vampires suck movie, commentary, film, first time watching, funny, mellow, movie, movie commentary, movie reaction, movie reaction first time, movie reactions, movie review, movies, react, reaction, review, twilight, twilight new moon, twilight eclipse, parody movies, comedy, vampires suck reaction, vampires suck movie reaction, vampires, vampire, robert pattinson, kristen stewart, first time watching vampires suck

Id: gpaG1CJ7Hys

Length: 36min 14sec (2174 seconds)

Published: Mon Jul 03 2023