Arlington's Kim O'Connell Goes Looking For Her Vietnamese Mother's Past -- and Finds Part of Herself

“Less egg use. Let me show you. Fold." “Uh-huh.” I always feel like I'm half and half. “Yes.” “And then the egg.” “Just at the very end?” “Yes.” “Yeah.” “Sorry.” I think a lot of us want to find wholeness however we can, but when you always feel half and half that wholeness feels elusive sometimes and can be difficult. And, I'm not sure whether I can ever overcome that. My mother grew up in a little town called Biên Hòa outside of Saigon. She grew up fairly poor but was very smart and worked very hard in school so she was hired by the U.S. Army to teach Vietnamese to American soldiers who were stationed over there and my father was in her class. “Alright, how’s that one.” “That’s great.” “You sure? It’s not too big?” “Fine, honey, fine.” My parents married and settled in the United States well before the end of the Vietnam War. So, it was a little bit unusual for there to be a Vietnamese immigrant in the neighborhood that I grew up in. And there were actually some snide comments made about our family from some of our neighbors. But I think my mother was really interested in being Americanized no matter what. She bought us all American clothes and we ate American food. She loved disco and she spoke only English at home, which is something that I sort of regret now. But, it was very important to her that she speak English to us because we were American. Sadly, my parents divorced when I was seven years old and my brother and I were actually kind of traded back and forth between my parents until the age of nine when my father was given custody. Once that happened I still saw my mother occasionally but more and more just wanted to do what other kids were doing instead of packing up yet again and going to my mother's house. Understandably now that hurt her feelings. And then we had some bad fights sometimes and were often even estranged. You know, it was actually kind of a tough time for us for awhile. “I think we’re done.” “Mmm-hmmm.” “Do you want to take these home?” “Ummm, I don’t have room. If you have room…” My father passed away unexpectedly in 2010. Not having him around anymore makes me want to know more about my mother's experience. She’s the only parent I have left. I realized that because she had made us so American that I was sort of feeling cut off from who she was. And really, then by extension, kind of part of who I was. It was really a fascinating process to kind of delve into my own history. That definitely became kind of a rebonding thing for my mother and me. “Time go by so fast. It’s amazing. Looking back, I don't know -- what did I do to you?” [LAUGHING] I don't know if she would admit it, but I think she feels very proud that I've taken such an interest in this part of my own heritage and kind of collective community heritage. “How is it, honey? Is it good?” We’ve come back together more strongly especially once I had my own children. They're growing up with almost a greater awareness of this heritage than I think even I had when I was a kid. My mother and I went through some tough years when I was a lot younger. Our family situation wasn't always the best, but I'm really grateful to have her in my life and that we have been able to find a connection to each other as adults. [LAUGHING] I hope I have a lot more years with her.

Channel: WETA PBS

Views: 268,485

Keywords: Kim O'Connell, Vietnam War, Vietnam, Arlington, Virginia, Washington DC, American Dream, Immigrant, Maryland, Northern Virginia, inspirational stories, profiles, digital shorts, second chance, WETA local, PBS, vietnam war, virginia

Id: 8F8HpeTpuBM

Length: 4min 12sec (252 seconds)

Published: Wed Sep 27 2017