Financial Control

so who controls the money at your house you know in some houses wives fully manage the household money others the husband's do because they trust each other they're both competent and capable in some households both bosses work and others just one works and the other manages the household responsibilities but in a healthy marriage both people are equal contributors whether it's through income caring for children maintaining the home cooking or other necessary household responsibilities they mutually make decisions on how to divide those responsibilities in their marriage and in their household yet there are times when one spouse for whatever reason isn't contributing not to the family income and now to the household either now this is your husband does he still have the right to call the shots or make the decisions when it comes to the family finances many churches would say yes because he's a head of house and you need to submit but one of his choices would put your future or your children's future at risk what if his a history of deception or gambling or being untrustworthy with money are you supposed to somehow ignore that and the name of submission I don't think so the problem here is not an issue of control but a responsibility Galatians 65 says that each one should carry their own load and a man who doesn't feel the need to carry his own load in a household yet believes he should have all the adult privileges has an entitlement problem John Townsend in his book the entitlement cure rights entitlement is the belief that I'm exempt from responsibility and I'm owed special treatment when you live with an entitled man it's easy to begin functioning as his mother you begin enabling him to behave as one of the kids but eventually you become the scolding parent resenting him because you're sick and tired of carrying the load for both of you to love him well at this point is not to continue enabling his entitled mindset loving him well as inviting him to grow up and growing up it's gonna require some tough love you must have a calm but firm conversation on this lack of contribution and responsibility here's how this conversation might go when we got married I thought we were gonna partner through life and I understand you've had a hard time keeping a job but it's not okay with me that you aren't helping at home or working toward our well-being as a couple and as a family it seems to me that you believe that your time is your to do whatever you want without having to take any responsibility to take care of our house or our kids you want to be a joint / owner over our home but you don't want to take care of it you want to manage our money but you don't pay the bills on time you don't work to put money into our savings and that's not okay with me and I'm going to resent you and it's impacting our marriage negatively is that what you want I'm tired of feeling like your mother either nagging you to do what you should be doing or picking up the pieces of what you've neglected to do so things don't fall apart I'm not okay with you thinking that you're in charge of our finances and not allowing me to have a say if you aren't willing to contribute now I don't know if your husband will change and grow up but if you want to get out of this cycle you need to make some changes and you can start by having this tough conversation until next time god bless

Channel: Leslie Vernick

Views: 1,945

Rating: 4.9540229 out of 5

Keywords:

Id: CUYLHlzjSrw

Length: 3min 3sec (183 seconds)

Published: Sun May 31 2020