Film Theory: How Batman BEATS Superman! - Batman v Superman

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Ninja Brian was "interviewed" on a Gaijin Goomba GT episode about ninjas and how they're falsely portrayed in games. Came for the Brian, stayed for the article. It's actually fairly interesting.

👍︎︎ 2 👤︎︎ u/[deleted] 📅︎︎ Mar 20 2016 🗫︎ replies

Its not the first time either I once got really excited because they had Einstein Brian in it

👍︎︎ 1 👤︎︎ u/SexbangOsaurus 📅︎︎ Mar 18 2016 🗫︎ replies

*Film Theory

FTFY

👍︎︎ 1 👤︎︎ u/JonesySteelblade 📅︎︎ Mar 18 2016 🗫︎ replies
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Batman V Superman!? Uhhhhh... Let's see, Superman can lift a truck, Fly & shoot laser beams out of his eyes all at the same time. Batman, has ice skates. Case closed? Not by a long shot! Get ready to put your money on Batman. (Film Theory Theme Music) Hello Internet! Welcome to Film theory! Where today we're looking at the most absurd matchup of 2016. No, I'm not talking about the election. We're talking about Batman versus Superman. Now I'm sure I wasn't the only one to see the title Batman V Superman, and just start laughing. I mean seriously, how can anyone, let alone a regular human, beat an all powerful alien with a seemingly limitless set of abilities. Even Screw Attack's Death Battle concluded that anime's number one hero, Goku, an unstoppable fighting machine able to fuse with other fighters, channel the energy of the entire universe, and literally become a god would lose in a fight against the all American hero, and they came to that same result, not once but twice. Even with Goku having the most powerful item in existence at his side, the comments section wanting him to win. Nothing beats that, so what chance does Batman ... Batman have in a battle like that? Forget Batman V Superman, a more accurate title would be Superman Winz Da End. There, I just saved you 20 bucks on movie tickets, you're welcome, but hold on, before you go out and spend that money to see Deadpool a sixth time, sure Vegas may put the odds at a thousand to one in favor of Superman, but what if I told you that despite the odds, Batman, with the help of some science, could very easily win this fight. That's right, I'm putting all my money on the old, emotionally unstable guy in a leather costume and ridiculous voice. "If we believe that there is even a one percent chance that he is our enemy, we have to take it as an absolute certainty." And no, we're not talking about kryptonite. Everyone knows that that magical rock is Superman's only weakness. Exposed to kryptonite, Superman crumbles faster than a movie goer watching Gigli, but we are making this a fair, and realistic fight, no kryptonite involved. Like last episode when we killed off Deadpool, I'm gonna figure out a tangible, scientifically accurate way that Bruce Wayne, as a normal human, could defeat an unstoppable alien comic book figure, so where do we start? Well, in the words of Sun Tzu, "Know the enemy," which means we need to know what makes Superman so super. Since we're talking about the Batman V Superman Superman, we have to go by the explanation provided to us by Man Of Steel. As we learn from hologram Russell Crowe in the movie, he's not innately powerful. It's Earth that gives him all his amazing abilities. "He'll be a god to them." In fact, on Krypton, his homeworld, Superman wouldn't have any powers at all. Superman gains his powers on Earth through the planet's weakened gravity and it's stronger sun relative to Krypton. "Earth's Sun is younger and brighter than Krypton's was, (dramatic music) your cells have drunk in it's radiation, Earth's gravity is weaker, yet it's atmosphere is more nourishing." Now, you're probably thinking that's pretty silly. There's no way the Sun and gravity can rationally explain a man's ability to fly and lift up an airplane, but it kinda can. If Krypton has a much heavier gravity than Earth, an alien coming from Superman's home planet could lift object no human could. This is because a Krytonian's muscles would have adapted to the heavier gravity of Krypton. Think of an astronaut on the moon. The moon has a gravity roughly equal to one sixth that of Earth's, since the mass of an object is constant, if you weight 200 lbs on Earth, and you go to the moon, you'll weigh one sixth of that, approximately 33 pounds. This is why astronauts can so easily jump around on the moon's surface, even when carrying hundreds of pounds of equipment, and that brings us to my next point, the change in gravity also affecting how much a person could conceivably lift. A human, who could lift a hundred pounds on Earth, could then lift 600 pounds on the moon, but now instead of the Earth and the moon, we have Krypton and the Earth, since the Earth's gravity is weaker than Krypton, Superman weighs far less here. As such, he's able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, and life seemingly impossible objects. Is it perfect flight? Admittedly no, but that's where the other half of his power set comes in, the Sun. When it comes to the sun, Superman draws his powers just like any normal plant does. The light from the Sun that reaches the Earth is composed mostly of non-ionizing radiation. What's that mean? Well, this radiation doesn't carry enough energy to ionize, or steal electrons, from atoms and molecules. It has enough energy to excite atoms, but doesn't change their charge. Think of non-ionizing radiation as an easy listening rock station. It's like the Eagles of radiation. Compare that to ionizing radiation. The Black Sabbath of radiation. Carrying enough hard rock energy to rip electrons off of atoms and molecules. Ionizing radiation is the reason you wear lead vests when you get your X-rays done, and it's the type of radiation that everyone worries about when talking about nuclear reactors. This stuff is the dangerous stuff. Anyway, knowing that we can now have more insight into how Superman's powers work. During photosynthesis, plants soak up non-ionizing rays, the healthy ones, and convert them into chemical energy. This energy is then used to fuel the plant's growth. Superman does the exact same thing, storing up non-ionizing rays from the sun and converting it into energy. Normal humans get Vitamin D and a tan from the Sun. Superman gets super speed and laser vision. The world is an unfair place. This also begs the question. Why is Superman's Fortress of Solitude in the Artic? A part of the world that gets significantly less light than like 99 percent of the globe. "Not a great plan." Superman may be strong, but he's not bright. If he was smarter, the Fortress of Solitude would be in like the Bahamas or something, and it would be called like, The Tiki Hut of Solitude. Make it happen DC. In short, without the Earth's gravity and sunlight, Superman just becomes Man Man, I guess (laughing) what? We actually see it happen in Man of Steel. When Superman boards General Zod's spaceship, and is exposed to Krypton's atmosphere for the first time, he immediately falls to the floor and starts spitting up blood. This means that by calculating the gravitational force on Krypton, we can now duplicate a force on Earth that will easily defeat Superman. Star, Henry Cavill, bulked up to play Superman in Man of Steel. By the actor's own account, he weighed 203 pounds during filming. According to stack.com, an elite athlete in top physical condition should be able to lift twice his own body weight through a variety of exercises, so a normal Henry Cavill can lift about 406 pounds on a good day. Now let's look at the new movie. In the trailer for Batman V Superman, we see Superman successfully lift a rocket, which weighs approximately 165 thousand pounds or 75 thousand kilos. Divide this number by how much a normal Henry Cavill can lift, and we get how many times stronger Superman is to a normal human. Funny enough, when you do that, it's actually 406 times stronger. Weird ... 406 squared ... huh. Anyway this means that Superman is about 406 times stronger than what a normal Henry Cavill would be. Since the mass of an object never changes, this implies that for Superman to be 406 times stronger on Earth, Krypton's gravity would also have to be 406 times stronger. Earth's gravity is 9.8 meters per second squared, so multiplying that number by 406, gives us the gravity of Krypton, 3991 meters per second squared. That's insane. Our own Sun has a gravitational force of 274 meters per second squared. Thus, in order to replicate Krypton's gravity, you would need to great a force 14 times greater than that of the the Sun. No wonder Superman is super. It's also no wonder Zod's plan to terraform Earth failed. "Looks like some kind of gravity weapon. It's working in tandem with their ship. Somehow they're increasing the Earth's mass, clouding the atmosphere with particulates. Oh my God. They're Terraforming." (dramatic music) What? What are you thinking? These Kryptonians man. Really strong but just stupid, stupid people. Fortress of Solitude in the Artic, terraforming Earth to the gravitational weight of Krypton, Come on! Come on guys! Uhhgggg ... Luckily, in order to win this fight, Batman doesn't have to do any terraforming. Knowing that in the lore of the movie, Superman is 406 times stronger than a normal human, to damage the guy, all Batman needs to do is punch him with 406 times the force of a normal human punch, and while that may sound like a lot, it's actually pretty easy. In fact, we can punch Superman a thousand times the force of a normal human punch. Oh yea. In 2013 scientists at UC Berkley created a robotic muscle a thousand times stronger than a human being. These robot muscles, which are made from a material that's also in cameras and missile guidance systems, can throw objects 50 times heavier over a distance 5 times its length within seconds. Using these robotic muscles, Batman could create a mechanical suit with a punch nearly two and a half times greater than Superman's. So much for creating a fair fight between these two, Superman is at a disadvantage here. (dramatic music) That scene from the trailer? OOOh Yea! That's entirely plausible. Superman should be scared, but Batman doesn't stop there. He ain't gonna fight fair. He's the Dark Knight. Bruce would figure out a way to tip the balance in his favor. Sure robotic armor a thousand times greater than a human should be enough to knock out the so called Man of Steel, but Batman doesn't want to take any chances in this fight. He would want to weaken Superman, and he could do that through the other half of Superman's power source, the Sun. No Batman isn't gonna block out the Sun, that'd be stupid, but he can use ionizing radiation. Remember, Superman drinks up non-ionizing radiation like a plant to fuel his powers. That's the safe stuff, but on Earth ionizing radiation is pretty easy to come by. X-rays, nuclear power plants, radon, and as we all know it's dangerous. Exposure to ionizing radiation results in mutation, radiation sickness, cancer, even death. If Superman is exposed to ionizing rays, he's gonna absorb that harmful radiation, weakening him in the same way he absorbs the Sun's non-ionizing rays for strength. Couple that with a strength two and a half times the strength of Supes, and you got yourself a fight. Don't believe me about this radiation stuff? Well look no further then the comic book that Batman V Superman is based on, The Dark Knight Returns. In the comic, although it's not directly spelled out, Superman is exposed to ionizing radiation from a nuclear fallout. The result? He immediately shrivels up like a prune. In fact, Superman is so weakened by this exposure that when he fights Batman later on he gets beat senseless. That's right, in the very comic Batman V Superman is based on, Batman, the ultimate long shot, actually wins, so in summary, all you need to do to beat Superman is expose him to some radiation, be it via X-rays, radon, uranium, take your pick, and then pummel him to death with some robotic muscles. Now hold on, I hear you say. That's far from easy. Who on Earth could possibly have access to all of that? Well who else but Bruce Wayne? Bruce Wayne is a billionaire entrepreneur. He can anything he wants. How much does crafting an armor of super strong robot muscle cost? Doesn't matter, Batman's a billionaire. He probably funded the research for it in the first place, and remember that's billionaire with a B. He could make a hundred robot suits, and then buy a tropical island, and then build a temple on that island worshiping George Clooney and his Bat-nipples. He's a billionaire. He can do whatever crazy things he imagines just by signing a check. As for getting his hands on radioactive substances, Bruce Wayne already owns dozens of nuclear power plants. Wayne Enterprises, per Batman lore, has multiple divisions, which include Wayne Construction, Wayne Biotech, Wayne Steel, Wayne Weapons, and Wayne Industries. All Bruce Wayne has to do is just borrow some uranium from his local power plant, or radon, or whatever, or better yet just stage the battle at his own power plant. Once lured in, Superman won't know what hit him, but we will. Ionizing radiation followed up with robotic muscles a thousand times stronger than that of a human, and that loyal theorists is the true irony here. The one thing that'll defeat Superman, the all American hero is the most American thing of all, Capitalism. The green substance Superman should be worried about ain't kryptonite, it's the almighty dollar, But HEY! That's just a Theory ... a Film Theory ... AAAANND CUT. Wanna see more theories about all your favorite superheros? Punch that subscribe button with the force of a thousand suns, and while you're at it, if you're craving more superhero action, check out Wisecrack and their new video exploring the hidden meaning in Pixar's The Incredibles. You know for as much as I like this movie, I always got a weird vibe from it, and it looks like they did too. The greatest people in the world are only great through their blood. Hard work does not make you great. Is that really what the movie is trying to tell us? Well, my friends over at the Wisecrack channel are looking to see whether there is actually any validity to that claim. The guys over here have a bunch of smart funny videos that aim to open your mind about your favorite movies, video games, TV shows, books, Any way you slice it, if you like this channel, chances are you're gonna like theirs, so I recommend going on over and showing them some love, and speaking of Disney movies with questionable themes, Zootopia? Oh yea, we're covering that one next time. (Techno Music)
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Channel: The Film Theorists
Views: 12,465,295
Rating: 4.8116775 out of 5
Keywords: batman v superman, batman vs superman, batman, superman, how to, how to kill superman, dc comics, wonderwoman, lex luther, doomsday, dark knight, batman versus superman, radiation, Film (Media Genre), Film Theory (Field Of Study), film theory, matpat, Film Theorists, Game Theorists, Matthew Patrick, MatPat13, who wins, who will win
Id: 9m-kjmxsZms
Channel Id: undefined
Length: 13min 45sec (825 seconds)
Published: Thu Mar 17 2016
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