feeling sad for no reason

it often strikes when I'm hungover or on a Wednesday evening when I finished all my tasks I'll be doing the dishes or brushing my teeth looking back at the day in some naive effort to ground my life in narrative but the events are scattered faces are blurred I struggle to remember when I last felt happy and yet nothing is wrong in a half-baked attempt to surmount brain chemistry my mind scrambles to find a cause did I drink enough water have I spoken to someone today is it raining that dark sinking feeling that Twirls round and round in my stomach accelerates permeating through every cell in my body I feel sad for no reason as Van Gogh writes one feels as if one were lying bound hand and foot at the bottom of a deep dark well utterly helpless I feel trapped directionless any attempts in imagining a future better than this is swiftly crushed by my brilliant talent in pessimism seeing a friend will remind me that others are happier than I am watching a comfort movie will remind me of the times when that movie used to bring me joy a simple walk in the park feels like some weird exhibitionism why would the world want to see my miserable face anyways this is why once again I search for the root of cause but there is no single reason for my despair or perhaps my sadness is simply the sum of several causes microevents of loneliness regret shame failure add up in time is this a sign that my life as a sum total is an abject pit of misery that I have been failing to exist my life has lost all color or perhaps more charitably these intermittent periods of sadness simply serve as the darker Hues of a beautifully complex work of art in fact the poet Mary ruffle has classified the various different colors of sadness orange sadness is the sadness of anxiety and worry it is the sadness of an orange balloon drifting over snow-capped mountains the sadness of wild goats green sadness is sadness dressed for graduation it is the sadness of June of shiny toasters as they come out of their boxes perhaps in the sadness with no reason we refer to ruffle's gray sadness which he argues is the most common of all the sadnesses gray sadness is the sadness of the melting snowman in a snowstorm it is beautiful nonsensical and most importantly replaceable the reason behind the sadness shifts but its Essence is retained it is pure sadness but even the sterility of gray serves a purpose shading in our greater memories with the impression of impermanence where lies the significance of our most cherished moments if they didn't all eventually end do we refuse to see the beauty and purpose in a song simply because it ends perhaps my sadness serves the most important role of all to maintain form through emptiness honor in transience love and finality I come to understand that my happiness requires intermissions of unhappiness lest at risks becoming nothing more than boring contentment like the seasons it will pass end like the seasons it plays an important role in the ebb and flow of Our Lives winter offers the necessary space for the new life of spring to flourish and so too does our sadness offer us that opportunity to mourn to move past all that has moved past us to do this is to empty our souls lovingly to be stripped down again to the Bare Essence of those things that matter deeply you can't refuse winter and you can't refuse your feelings there is a reason that too depress to push down something is rooted in the term depression and so the necessary step is to ask yourself what feeling are you unwilling to feel this is no radical call to action the pragmatic motivation to overthink to hunt down the cause of all of your problems often leads to further misery and confusion you can't out think the Peaks and valleys of Despair nor is it an invitation to wallow in self-pity which usually amounts to several hours of stuffing your aching brain with screen time and endless distractions rather it's simply the recognition of our irrational sadness as a stepping stone to knowing ourselves let yourself feel sad and soon you may recognize that this ambiguous monolithic emotion we call sadness is in reality a subtle and varied experience of tones and Hues both light and dark that offers us further insight into whatever it is that we're actually doing here [Music] thank you

Channel: Sisyphus 55

Views: 494,523

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Id: OcBu52uBvZ4

Length: 5min 27sec (327 seconds)

Published: Tue Jan 17 2023