Fathers Share Why They Don't SEE Their CHILDREN Anymore (Stories)

a slash is credit absent fathers why don't you see your children and what put you into that Mensa door situation my thirteen-year-old is actually sitting across the room from me right now playing Minecraft this is the first time she's ever been to my house after meeting her for the first time last year it's a really long story that I don't know if I feel like going into now but her mother is basically insane like her grandmother they became convinced 14 years ago that I got her pregnant at the behest of my own mother who wanted to steal the baby and raise it they believe this because my mom was super excited about her first grandchild and talked about it all the time I was 20 when she got pregnant preparing to finally go to college that fall a couple hours away when she was 6 months pregnant I informed her that I wasn't really interested in having a relationship with her but I would do every and anything she required of me for the baby except what she wanted me to do give up college she flipped out and left refused to take my calls or open the door for me when I came by her place a couple weeks later I received a restraining order in the mail claiming I threatened to kill her if she ever had my child around another man around this time she also contacted my mom to tell her the child wasn't mine and to stay away from them I fought the restraining order and eventually got it lifted but not until after the baby was born I tried going to her house and seeing her she wouldn't even answer the door so I gave up and walked away I knew the girl would have questions about me one day and sure enough that they came last spring her mom contacted me to say our daughter was asking about me we've been building a relationship since I introduced her to my wife and our two children last fall and then finally last week we were able to bring her to our house for the first time whew not sure how to make this concise so I'll start typing and try to edit it when and where it needs it my father worked on the road a lot my stepmother was an alcoholic Kollek who did made sexual passes at me when she was blacked out it was never overt so I was never quite sure what she wanted or what was going on all I knew was that she was fucking crazy and my father didn't listen to me one night while fighting to keep her out of my room I had my hands on her shoulders when she raised her arms my hand slipped and went up to her neck I didn't even realize what had happened all I knew is she backed off and told me to leave the house which I did gladly I was grounded so was glad to get out of the house when I came back there were cops in the driveway who explained what happened and that she thought I'd tried to kill her she refused to let me back in so they took me to a boys home after a month my mother and stepfather agreed to let me move in with them when I met her we were both 16 she was the second girl I ever kissed first girl I slept with when we started I used a condom and continued for a while after she started taking b/c pills she kept the container on her dresser and when she was out of the room I'd shake when I saw she was keeping them up to date I asked about trying it once without a condom she agreed it was awesome and we did it like that for a while there after a few months pass and she tells me she thinks she's pregnant I'm scared as fuck but agree to go to the doctor's office with her she is and she's really happy about it when I asked her about the B C pills she tells me that she was flushing them down the toilet every morning she only did that to keep her father off her back I don't remember what reason she gave me to explain why she never told me basically because she wanted a baby the next thing that happens is that I invite her to sleep over one night when my parents Gayle out of town for a weekend when my stepfather finds out he kicks me out refusing to let me take anything except the clothes I'm wearing he refuses to let my mother pack me a bag or give me a coat he was verbally and physically abusive to both myself and my mother and my youngest sister was less than a year old since he controlled all the money she felt powerless to help me my GS parents are divorced but only live a few blocks from each other her mother agrees to let me stay there over the next month or two I find out that while I was at work on the weekend my gf had continued seeing the guy she was seeing before me this entire time despite having told me she was breaking up with him when we started dating there are also rumors about her sleeping with one to two other guys in the neighborhood - my guidance counselor at school finds out that I'm not living at home anymore reports it to the state they take custody of me and put me in a boy's home my father finds out comes to talk to me says I can come live with them again but I have to apologize to my stepmother I didn't understand how the whole court system worked I was afraid I'd never see any of the rest of my family again so I agreed my GF family knows everything that's happened and they told me they would completely understand if I never came back and if I can't or choose not to support the child I tell them I'm interested in being a part of his life but have no idea when I'll be able to visit or afford to send any kind of money I moved back in with my dad I finished high school work for two to three months to save as much money as I can and move the fuck out after my son is born the mother takes off and leaves him with her mother two years later the grandmother replies for public assistance since my name was listed on the birth certificate the state came after me for support I was now 18 or 19 it was the early 1990s I only had a high school diploma the court assessed me something like $125 mo plus I was supposed to provide insurance for my son neither of which I could afford at the same time that's happening I'm running out of options multiple bad rumors screwing me over people I thought were friends robbed me my grandmother offers to let me come move in with her as long as I go to school at my dad's I was 100 miles away from my son I we'll be 1,200 miles away if I move to my grandmother's at the time I reason he's so young he's not going to know any different if I'm not around each year my tax return was intercepted and I got letters in the mail showing my mounting arrears I normally rode a bike everywhere but when I could afford to buy a piece-of-shit car and for the few months it lasted I'd feel ashamed every time I filled up with gas because there are stickers on every pump in the state reminding me that my license can be revoked for being a deadbeat dad from that point on it was a two-part process on one hand that shame slowly built in builds on the other was the fact that I couldn't even think about him for more than a few moments without thinking of her and I could feel the rage well up in me I was scared that he wouldn't understand and that he'd think I was mad at him I was ashamed of that too and decided maybe it better that I not be in his life over the next 10 years I kept my nose to the grindstone and life slowly improved I didn't share my shame with many people but one day I shared it with a girl I was dating I told her I was going to wait until he's 18 and I'll send him a letter she said how do you know he doesn't need you right now I did the math realized he was 16 the age I'd gotten his mother pregnant I wrote him a letter he wrote back we've been in touch met a few times we have a good deal in common he looks exactly like me is like me in personality my dad was on the road and I was raised by his mom I was absent and my son was raised by his grandmother he's 22 now we Anna we're as close as I wish we were I'm pretty sure we never will be I will always regret not reaching out sooner but there is nothing I can do to change the past all I can do is make the best of the present of the future and remind myself that what will be will be yours is exactly the type of answer the question begs for I'm ashamed to admit that as an immature teen I toyed with the idea of doing exactly what your girlfriend did luckily a strange set of events whisk me out of the country and saved the poor bastard ass had he not been so fortunate would be forced to pay for a child he was in always unprepared and undesirable today I'm in the happiest relationship with a man that dodged that very same bullet his ex-girlfriend had recently lost custody of her third child in a row and finding herself bored and lonely decided that the best thing to do was to have a fourth one and proceeded to manipulate her birth control methods my sow had an entice Army medic check that ended up paying for all her prenatal care ultrasounds and baby items until fortunately a DNA test was demanded at birth that proved it was not his child causing him to vomit from the intense relief and happiness he was so happy let her keep all that baby shit and didn't ask for a penny back it wasn't until I learned of his story that I finally understood what a fucking crime I was entertaining in my mind as a bored stupid naive teenager and for that I apologized a thousand times to the poor bastard I dated so long ago to you and your son to my boyfriend and to all men with no say about their lives being torn apart just two weeks ago I found out I got a girl pregnant in early January and she'd hid her pregnancy from me for the next several months to keep me from freaking out the child is being given up for adoption to two wonderful people and from a legal perspective I'm off the hook but reading this thread is making me want to just crawl in a hole and never leave it I've always wanted to be a badass awesome dad but I fucked up so horribly and irrevocably and I can never be a part of this little girl's life unless she decides on her own that she wants to meet me someday her parents are going to be the couple that adopts her not myself for the friend I knocked up and I'd feel like even more of a slimy shit Stan forcing myself into her life when I can provide literally nothing hardly anybody knows I'm the father and I will probably kill myself out of shame and guilt if the secret gets out or at the very least buy a one-way ticket to Latin America and never look back edit forgot about this account and came back 225 replies whoa reading all of your comments made me tear up a little and goofily slash involuntarily say of course you'll be okay out loud I'm doing much better now I've had time to stop freaking out and start accepting I'm going to use this little space to tell my son's father's story he just never cared birth was gross baby had vagina goop on him passed him off to Grandma and wish I was kidding clogged the birthing suites toilet with a massive shit first steps were shrugged at first words were forgotten within minutes kids are boring what the fuck is he trying to say who the hell cares I'm playing Fallout 3 did you know the guy giving a thumbs up is actually measuring radiation distance Oh fucking bitch what now what now put the boob in him stop stop little shit I thought he might care when I told him I was taking our son and moving 1,500 miles away from him nope good riddance cunt at first I was pissed I mean my son deserves a good father but then I realized that it's better that he was honest to me about his disinterest in our son than to have gone on for years pretending to love or care about us I was supporting him financially emotionally and physically he was a drain on us but we are so much happier than I thought we ever could be here's a picture of him giving me a running hug this morning even though you didn't ask love the kid I just hope I can figure out a way to tell him a better sounding story when he starts asking where his daddy is at first when they ask they are very young and you need to give simple answers the first time my son asks I told him the truth Canada at least that's the last time you he never asked for more info it gets so hard as the years dragged on I tried my best to be honest and not that mouth my ex for years I said that my ex wasn't ready to be a dad he loved my son asked eventually my ex came around and completely broke my son's heart it was really hard not to badmouth him even worse I couldn't protect my son from the heartache and rejection he showed up once in nine years then was gone for six more he never returned calls never showed for visitation or called at holidays or birthdays my son has six siblings he has never interacted with they are all under 12 my son is 18 and wouldn't allow his father to attend his graduation from high school my son now refuses to answer his calls or texts dauch backaches kept calling me to ask why our son won't visit or return calls I could finally say what I felt now you now know how he felt all those years don't fucking call me ever again I'll never waive the back support I'm sorry for what you have ahead of you it is not easy man I hope my dad posts here or he could have I guess I wouldn't know he left before I was born and he told my mother that he wasn't mine dude if you're out there then say something I still haven't found you after years and years of searching your addresses and phone numbers are all bunk your friends apparently don't even know where you are although they say I look just like you all I'm missing is the line to to that you have on your back I know you have another kid out there I have another half-sister from you that lives in Arizona but I hear that you're not a part of her life either what are you so afraid of well just know that because of you I want to be the best father ever the man who married my mother ended up being an abusive alcoholic he left bruises on me your son he tried to kill me once I know you're probably a douche and wouldn't have done much better I mean you never paid a cent of child support mom never asks though look we approach but I'm not asking for money I want to meet you once I want to star in my own mockumentary reality TV show where find my lost half-siblings and connect the dots back to you wouldn't that be cool I wonder if you even know I'm out here I wonder if you're dead edit thanks for the gold I replied to all of the main replies another detail my half-sister in Arizona is possibly autistic and I don't know if she's older or younger than me for my age I'm legally an adult that I can't legally drink I'm the child in this situation my mom and dad fought a lot even before my sister and I was born when I was about two and my sister seven my mom decided to leave at the time neither my mother nor father were good people drugs alcohol physical fights all that so my mom got my dad arrested had the house demolished packed my sister and me up told my dad we were moving from California to Florida with a court order saying she has full custody of us and had his dad drive us down the last time I physically saw my dad was when we made a stop for a few days in Arizona to see my aunt after we moved my sister grew up to resent that along with the rest of the family we were allowed limited communication when he called on holidays and he was able to send gifts this went on for years until I moved out of the state and had more contact with him now I know that my mother turned all of his friends and Cali against him bats why he lives in Montana he never visited because whenever he made arrangements mom would tell him now our communication was limited because my mom would is talking to us as blackmail to get him to send more money to her that Wicked's never saw or had used for our needs some months he would go hungry or cold in order to send what she wanted now he's so scared of my mother and her side of the family that he is afraid to leave the Indian Reservation in case they try and have him arrested for something and he is afraid for me to come and see him in case he is a bad parent but I have more contact with him now and that's all that matters my sister still hates him I am a single mom of two kids I raised one but not the other my ex-husband the father of my youngest child a son was an abusive alcoholic I was 19 and pregnant with our son when I married him the first time he hit me I was five months pregnant I wanted to run back to my parents by that time he had moved us hundreds of miles away from my family but I was too proud to admit my mistake I tried to be better though abuse never stopped he acted like his son hung the moon and stars he would tell me I was just the pot for his perfect child and other horrible things he loved that kid more than anything it drove me to attempt suicide twice after years of abuse broken bones and black eyes and mental anguish I decided I'd had enough so I left he told me and no uncertain terms that if I ever tried to take the boy he would kill me I believed him my son was 4 my ex pretty much made sure we didn't see each other often fast forward eight years my ex drinks himself to death by that time my son now 12i is flourishing in school and has good friends etc I didn't think twice when my ex's parents offered to keep him so he could stay in the accelerated program and continue to see his friends I didn't think it would be fair to this kid to rip him from the only life he's ever known and live with a mom he's only seen a handful of times especially after losing his dad whom he calls his best friend plus they are amazing people they have nothing but time and love for him their only grandchild now my son and I have a better relationship than ever his grandparents are quick to involve me in all the goings-on in his life and encourage me to see him as often as I can I'm sad for the time my son and I lost but I truly believe everything happens for a reason my son is doing amazingly well in school he's operating near genius level he just made the football team and looking forward to starting eighth grade I'm hopeful we'll be able to build on this this damn question man does this one hit home with all the stories of kids waiting on daddy to show up I was eight living in an affluent part of Spring Texas when my dad left my mom for another woman he had knocked up from his office I was absolutely crushed my four-year-old sister did not exactly understand that I did dad lived 15 minutes away but only had time for us on Christmas and maybe one other weekend a year he had left my mom high and dry she was a stay-at-home mom and suddenly she was thrust back into the world of working we went from upper-middle to lower-class overnight even with the child support I could occasionally get him on the phone just to hear his voice but as the years passed that was less and less frequent mom remarried an abusive alcoholic and after the fifth time she left him for good he was murdered shortly after her when he got into it with someone dipshit at a bar who had a gun never had I been so happy in all my life then when that fucking shithead met his demise I knew she could never take him back mom remarried once more and he is still in my life 20 years later but he never filled the void left by my dad I joined the Air Force and moved to Southern Cali in 2000 my grandfather was on his deeth and I made my one and only trip back to Houston Texas and decided to confront my dad and make him speak to me I found out through family he had just gotten hospitalized for some gallbladder stones so I popped into the hospital while my bitch of stepmom was not there I talked to him for about ten minutes before I had to leave to catch my flight back home he told me he loved me and I told him I loved him and forgave him and just wanted to be able to talk to him I even went so far as to say nothing in the past mattered and we never had to speak about it if he would just talk to me that was in 2010 I have sent him 136 ml's and countless phone calls since then not one single response it breaks my fucking heart I'm 34 now and have three kids age 13 nine and five that he has never met it fucking disgust me what he has put my sister and myself through all while lavishing his daughter and her mother these 25 or so years fuck you glein but I still love you briefly after our separation we Co parented well but when my ex wanted to reconcile I refused and things were never the same I learned far too late that she spent a lot of time trashing me to my daughter our relationship became progressively strained and nothing I did ever felt right ultimately the trash-talking and manipulation worked and my daughter started outright hating me I was at a complete loss my ex was determined to move out of state to be close to her mother that I fought that and by fighting that I became the enemy my daughter went from hating me to making stuff up about me at some point I knew I had to let go or it would just get worse CPS was involved because of some of the accusations but after investigating they told me multiple times and in multiple ways that I was getting shafted and my daughter was being coached the judge didn't seem to care they live out of state now and I haven't really spoken to or seen my daughter in nearly two years she's 13 I send emails and gifts from time to time but I can't really say much everything is reinterpreted for her into something monstrous if I tell her how our dog is doing she's told that I'm just trying to make her sad there's literally nothing I can write or say that isn't corrupted so I keep it as simple as I possibly can to be totally honest it's hard not to blame her I know intellectually that her mother did this but part of me wishes she'd had the strength of character to overcome that influence it's an incredibly unfair thing to ask of a child and I know that but knowing that doesn't change the feelings of tremendous hurt I hold little hope for a tearful reconciliation when she's older people with mothers like this are often psychologically beholden to them forever even into old age when the mom is dead and gone in her eyes I will always be the enemy her life is built on that concept and she can no more dismantle it than she could convince herself the sky is purple when I dream of her she appears as an amalgam of the child she was mixed with the teenager she may be now and that she will always be in my mind I guess a little girl inside that I once read stories to and cradled to sleep wrapped in the body of a total stranger edit wow thanks for the feedbacks little hope is better than no hope and it's stories like these that keep that alive thanks everyone I'll go ahead and chime in with my story from the other side of that situation and why you might take some of these stories with a grain of salt it's pretty simple when I was 16 my mom caught my dad cheating he immediately admitted to it and told her he didn't love her anymore he worked 12 plus hour days as a manager at a car dealership and made hundreds of thousands of dollars a year he provided a great life for us but used all of this time sitting in front of a computer at work to develop online relationships with several women I was neutral at first I basically told him that I was comforting my mom who couldn't even feed herself and that I was pretty upset with him and would need some time before I was willing to talk or meet him anywhere my grandparents moved in with us for a while to make sure everything was okay about two months later he's still living in an apartment and still madly in love with this woman he met online I looked her up out of curiosity and found out she wasn't the age she told him 26 vs 48 and that she was married with kids not single like she said she was also faking having cervical cancer to get donations from strangers online I found posts from her dating back five years before this incident and many times in between all claiming that she had cervical cancer and couldn't pay her bills we don't know how much money my dad gave her during this time the next thing we know we hear from a neighbor whose ex-husband works in the car dealership that he's been telling all the guys at work that he hasn't seen me because my mom is actively keeping me away I told him that I had heard the rumors and that they weren't true his brother tried to call me one day and told me not to let my mom get between my dad and I this entire time my mom has been telling me to meet him for lunch or hang out with him but I'm still upset with him for dismantling our family our childhood dog died about two months after this happened so it was a shitty time all around and I really didn't want anything to do with him or anyone else for that matter then the public FAFSA book post started he joined a bunch of fatter book groups that made fun of divorce and posted all over the internet about how my mom was a bitch and that I was too immature to see through her manipulation all of our mutual friends could see these posts including some of my high school friends that he played with on whoa w I watched as dozens of disgruntled men would comment and agree that my mom must be a total bitch and deserved to die and that I was just an ignorant child who would grow out of it and realize my mom was a huge bitch speaking of dying my mom had regular blood withdrawn a week before she caught my dad and had unusually high platelet counts which had never been a problem in the past I was tested a week later and my platelets were very dangerously high to the point that I was put on medication we don't know what was up with that for sure as a 17 year old with zero experience with girls I watched my dad post shit on these sites about how great the sex is outside of marriage along with all the creepy old fucks who agreed and posted faceless pictures of asses in thongs and shit this shit went on for almost two years before he gave it up I had no reason to see him while he was still talking shit about my mom and I on the internet and I told him that he blocked me on Facebook flash-forward to over four years since the incidents he now has a felon convicted of armed robbery who used to work at the dealership living with him his new wife and I'm trying to be objective here one of the trashiest 50-something blonde from adonis i'd ever seen her kids from her previous marriage are all unemployed have kids and now living off of his money several have severe criminal records one of the kids fathers is in a military prison he still has active accounts on several dating websites despite being married again at this point in my life I don't want to become associated with that or get involved with anything going on at our old house I became the man of the house much earlier than I ever wanted to and at this point I feel that he's a very poor influence simply put he's not the same person now that he was the first 16 years of my life and I really don't have any reason to talk to him I'm not saying you shouldn't believe anything you read in here and that all men are bad I'm a guy but if my dad saw this post he would be right up there with the rest of them going on about how his bitch ex-wife kept his kid away from him and ruined his relationship with his son and how he got fucked by the courts and so on I'd say if the kid is 14 or older they probably have a decent say in whether or not they talk to their dad after something like this thank you so much for watching the whole video please leave a like and subscribe

Channel: Top Post

Views: 13,965

Rating: 4.8561153 out of 5

Keywords: high school, reddit stories, reddit

Id: -a03fy_nIOU

Length: 30min 6sec (1806 seconds)

Published: Fri Aug 23 2019