Fat-Acceptance vs. Body Shaming: Why They Both Suck

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hey rod my name is Rachel and today I want a button issue that is pretty big on the Internet and that is the idea of staff acceptance versus body shaming somehow a lot of angry radical feminists and a lot of angry radical people on the other side I'm entirely sure you called them actually and they seem to think that you can only be one or the other but not me I position myself very much in the middle now I don't want to go around and make anyone feel rubbish about themselves whether it's because of their body or any other reason but neither am i going to pretend to celebrate an unhealthy lifestyle I don't think that either body shaming or acceptance or you know just accepting everybody or whether I don't think that either is the way forward and I also don't think it's fair to just ask every single person out there in the world to accept your body just because people can have preferences and opinions and I don't think there's anything wrong with that a hellas article today that a soft proclaimed fat woman wrote and I just liked it a lot because while she tries to make it sound inspiring deeply honest and she uses these really cliched metaphors a lot and hopefully flowery writing like seriously is just kind of screaming I want to go viral but ultimately this entire article it's mostly about her just passing off her emotional and physical problems onto other people and saying it's your fault you're the only ones who need to change and I really don't like that let's just get into the article and have a look at this so the article is titled your fat friends want you to read the content but the subheading the comment section isn't just the work of internet trolls is what many fat people up against every day and it's key to understanding your fat friends and family well as someone who puts himself out on the internet I have to read comments every single day some of the comments are lovely some of them don't agree with me and some of them are just plain rude it's part of being on the internet and in particular part of being a girl on the internet is that you get comments about your body do I like it no but I'm also aware that it's not just really going to change overnight and sitting here and whining about it and complaining about it isn't going to do anything really so the best thing to do for both my mental health and my self-esteem is to deal with it it's to accept it is to not take anything personally and not let it affect how I see myself does nothing what actually come out of kicking up a fuss about it now this author is translated by looking at the comments of a fat persons online profiles it gives you an idea of the kind of comments that are thrown at them every single day even in person isn't it a shock to you and appalled you and you ready to see how terrible it is to be a fat person and pitchy them it's an interesting idea but let's just take a look at the article where he or she begins we're talking about how she went on a flight she'd brought a seatbelt extender she'd paid extra for a first-class ticket because apparently I'm guessing they're the only seats she could sit in I'm not sure where she says as a very fat person on a plane there are no guarantees I will reach my destination audience my thighs are really called for passenger complaints even when we do everything we can to catch the comfort of those around us and I commend this person for being responsible the seatbelt extender that's buying a ticket for the right seat that you can fit in I mean I'm not going to give you any pity for having to sit in first class but I really do commend you for taking the right steps to being responsible brilliant fantastic if she talks about how she has to cast her eyes down and be careful not to make eye contact his fellow passengers and but to me that's less of a sign of an issue with the other passengers and actually seems like a find the social anxiety to me like I don't really rude but that's kind of her problem not the other passengers I mean sure their actions might be young every time I can s2w here but those but their actions might be triggering to her they might trigger her anxiety but she has to first realize that she has anxiety problems and it's her responsibility to deal with them not to try and change with this behavior to get like a little bit personal for a minute I really like talking about as much but I have some bad anxiety problems in the past I used to get quite a lot of bad panic attacks and know times when it would stop me from leaving the house they'd stopped me from being able to like be around other people seeing my friends attend group meetings the projects Union stuff and and occasionally I have to leave wherever I was because they develop an ik panic attack coming on or because I was having on there and then there was this one particular ridiculous time in a supermarket where I had a really tough time leaving the house and I finally got all the way to the shop and I was like you know what I am going to buy ham and I'm going to do this it's like a little challenge at sets myself and I was in there and I could feel my anxiety rising because it had been kind of stressful getting out the house and getting there and now the shop didn't have any Harmon uh hello am I going to do was freaking out and at this moment a group of girls walked in they must be in sort of like 18 19 years old I think and they reminded me so much of the girls who used to choose me in school and they were laughing and they were giggling among themselves and looking back they were almost definitely just a bunch of friends having fun with one another and they probably didn't even notice I was there but because my crazy anxious brain was kind of kicking into overdrive I questioned her laughing at me is it because I'm a mess it's because I met admit this is horrible and and I start to freak out and I could feel this panic attack coming on and I had to leave the shop and I went outside and I did my little breathing exercises to calm down and I stood all myself out and 20 minutes later I went back in the shop bought something else I remember what and I went home and I felt better and it was good but my point here is that I knew I had those anxiety issues I could recognize those anxiety issues and even though at the time I was thinking the girls it's all their fault another part of me knew that it wasn't it wasn't their responsibility to change their behavior just because of what was going on in my head just cuz I was scared of something they might say or might do and this is true for the woman on the plane as well I suggest that she's pushing her insecurities off onto other people because she's insecure about her body maybe she's quick to jump on that dead girl complaining about anything and that's something that she needs to work on she can't pass that blame off onto every other single person especially the ones who haven't even done anything she did talk about things like being resented for in passengers playing being mocked insulted been kicked off flights that sort of things and in regards to this I can't really sympathize but being reseated because it might be a little convenient but every passenger on a plane who's paid for a ticket has the same right to a certain level of comfort right and if you are for example going to be intruding on someone else's space then I kind of think that person that other person has every right to complain now I will say that being mocked being insulted being videotaped for any reason that is out of order that is something to complain about and I think that's fine but in those cases complain about specific people and say it wasn't cool what this person did and this person did and this person did so just say all people are terrible because I'm fat and this happened once I think it's a little bit of an overreaction maybe now she goes on with passages like this for quite a while and I just I don't know if it's maybe like an s to W thing I've noticed it quite a lot and I am I mean isn't from you have other people noticed this too they try to sound so even poetic they they want to like throw these metaphors and flowery language and imagery out there and I just find it a little bit odd I think you imagine like if you're actually talking to a friend in conversations like I may have the exam go and then starts with this the kind of anxiety was laughing at my feet is they're saying I'm a bit nervous I know this is a really minor point about this article but people don't talk like that and it annoying I just find it so unnecessary you know nothing to strengthen her point in any way anyway as she says she did what she always does in tough situations and she begged for attention online and after opting for attention online she's for some reason shocked that she gets a mix of positive and negative responses from people she says that some of the responses she got were absurd and harsh but that was kind of the thing isn't it the Internet allows people this level of anonymity of course some comments all going to be absurd of who of course them are going to be harsh of course some are going to be you know mean and rude and unnecessary is what happens when people think they don't have any accountability online if it's saddening but unfortunately is something that every person has to deal with not just women and not that people apparently she shocked when first and friends tell her don't read the comments I never do and here's the thing if you're putting your opinions out there online people are going to respond to you it's it's the whole point of the internet really the premise of social media is that it's about conversation and you can't realistically expect to put your opinion out there and suddenly have everyone agree with you so you have two choices when faced with criticism one is to accept the constructive criticism and not let the silly stuff get you and this is not as easy as it might sound but it's what I am learning to do and it's what a lot of other people who work online and post online and share things online it's what they have to learn to do as well and honestly it makes the internet and much more enjoyable place to be or the second thing you can do is you can just burn your head in the sand you can pretend no one's commenting at all you can just make up your own comments in your head if you want in which case I have to kind of ask you why bother to share anything online in the first place because if you don't want to hear the response then why share it it just seems a bit silly to me it's like the people who make youtube videos and then you know disable the comments now interestingly the comments that she shared as being and I quote reliably acidic and corrosive included constructive advice like cooked grains bruised sugars increase animal protein and her diet to sum all the slightly harsher troops of well if it makes you so sad then lose the weight simple and this just sounds like I'm a victim feel bad for my unhealthy lifestyle life is so much worse why don't your businesses accommodate from my weight and while they might not be nice to hear I can't help but agree a little on the other hand I do think some of the comments she got did go way too far and were completely uncalled for the ones calling her names the ones swearing at her I don't think there's any need for it I think it's rude it's mean and it helps no one and I don't agree with comments like that and I don't like them next she goes on to talk about how these are just comments she gets online she gets in everyday - like on the street people shout at her and once again I have to say yes name-calling is horrible catcalling is horrible you know having things Schauder that you will set your on the street is horrible but again this isn't something that you're complaining about it is really going to change I know that sounds horrible and then I felt like a little bit defeatist but it kind of one of these harsh true and the easiest and best and probably the healthiest thing to do is to learn to not take it personally she says that she gets called at that bitch and yes that's horrible but as a woman on the other end of the spectrum who is skinny and whatever I often get creeps on the street leering at me and shouting things up at me and if I don't reply to them I get called a stuck-up bitch so it's a sucky thing and it happens to a lot of women and I'm sure similar things happen to a lot of men as well even if men don't get called bitches I'm sure that's probably like some kind of equivalent maybe and I'm not saying don't feel bad about it but it's not something I'm going to give you pity for it's not something unique to fat women another thing she talks about is when family members offer an unwelcome and unsolicited on sort of diet advice and surgeon recommendations and I'll be honest I wouldn't put them in the same vein as someone calling you names and swearing at you and calling you a fat bitch I'm deleting different things your family are literally just trying to help you because they care about you and they love you and they don't want to see you diet at a young age from any of the numerous health problems associated with obesity it's just the same as when I tell down to stop putting so much salt on his food he doesn't sit there and ask me how much salt should I put on this every now and again when one of us has prepared a meal and use their putting salt on it I'll just say hey Danny leave don't put so much salt on this time to think about your heart yeah technically dozens with that advice but it's because I care about him is in his best interests and I think he appreciates the reminder every now and again it is exactly the same thing to be honest next she says this I have to say no I can believe the harshness because people can be mean it sucks but it's true she says it's not as if 200 pounds because moult like a second skin in springtime or again again I'm sorry but just drop the metaphors please you don't add anything but yet in the same vein I sit here and say well you talk about 200 pounds just a kid on you overnight and I don't think that can happen can it no it can't I'm sure you have some signs that was happening you saw yourself gaining weight and did nothing to stop it similarly now you clearly acknowledge that you're overweight I'm guessing around 300 pounds if you have 200 pounds to lose and that's a terrifying rate to be the health problems associated with that make me worry for this author genuinely so she acknowledges that she's overweight and yet she does nothing about it because it's too hard is what I'm sensing she's trying to say but every bit of weight loss starts with the first pound and if other people can do it you can do it too there aren't really any excuses to be honest she's all fat people defending Street her asses by saying things like are you sure she meant it but I don't think this is exactly defending them I mean are you sure a person and then a comments like towards you or like in my case I mentioned earlier was it just the product of your anxiety and low self-esteem making you feel crappier and making you assume that people didn't like you or people are mocking you or people with judging you I mean it's a genuine question in regards to what you were because she said some people say you probably should have worn shorts when you surf using the comments this is kind of like a tough one because people have the freedom to wear whatever they want but I also think that with that people have the freedom to judge people however they want and now I'm not saying people have the right to go around find people they look terrible and you know just going up for random person on the street saying oh my god I hate your shirt I'm not saying I think people should do that I'm just saying people have the right to especially just internally judge the people that they see around them it's a thing that people do sometimes I mean every time I wear a low-cut top I know I'll get crappy comments in my comments section but sometimes I can't bother to change because I'm too lazy or it's too warm in here which it is right now or I just haven't done any washing really and have nothing else to wear so I decide to just man up and deal with the comments that come just so I can become through my own clothes while I'm filming and I don't mean to sound harsh but it is same with absolutely anyone if you were unflattering clothes people are probably going to judge you not saying it's right and I'm not saying it will happen I'm not saying it's okay for random people to come up to on the street and say oh my god I hate your shirt because that's just weird and meeting like who would actually do that and and I don't care if you're a hundred pounds or four hundred pounds but if you're wearing something ugly there will be some people out there who look at you and think what the hell were they thinking that's why you have to learn to value yourself and how you feel over anything that anyone else can comment and now for you to learn how to do that it's not anyone else's responsibility skipping over some of the more self-indulgent metaphors again she goes on to the little her friends self-esteem issues because they aren't worth less sizes she admits that her thinner friends still feel inadequate because they don't have Phi gap because they've been used in the past and made feel bad about their bodies but then she shuts it down by saying when we talk about what it's like to be fat you can me about body image and self-esteem and confidence because those are your struggles but they aren't mine we're your challenges I think fruit is an internal minor external as a fat person the world refuses me at nearly every turn rejecting my body like a bad organ transplant so basically what I take away from this is that she's trying to say that if you're thin or your body and self-esteem issues are all your fault but if you're fat then it's all societies fault if you're thin you're the one who needs to change if you're fat society's the one who needs to change no I'm sorry but whatever body you have take a little responsibility for your own self-esteem your own emotional issues and for your own body and hell it's not down to anyone else it's down to you she writes in response assume that I am constantly trying and failing to win the body I was meant to have that I am shirking responsibility to achieve a more acceptable body one like yours and I don't think anyone is think that you have to be super skinny and thin but I think most people who love and care for a person want their body to be healthy and it seems common sense to me that a person would want their own body to be healthy right which is our while your family think this way because when they're seeing you with an obviously unhealthy body they must think oh she's trying and failing not she's just given us the neck set to it I mean surely it can't be anybody call person's actual goal to be in a body with a high risk of heart disease and type 2 diabetes and sleep apnea and high blood pressure and strokes and so on and so on so many health issues associated with obesity and I think anyone's family would rather think that their loved ones have been fighting against that rather than just given up and accepted the risk she says that mine are issues of body image or self-esteem they're issues of concrete exclusion mine isn't a challenge of not thinking well of myself mine is a challenge of Excel harms born of external pressures and I'm sorry but I know it's tough if people say crappy things to you but I honestly think she's wrong here I think she is insecure I think she does have self-esteem and anxiety issues leave by the sound of it and for life okay I can only I only know her from this one article that things just provides what I'm getting and if she wants to solve all these problems she's never just going to change every other person in the world's opinion overnight she's not going to change how everyone else sees her suddenly with one article the best thing for her and people like her to do is to work on their own issues figuring out who they are and what makes them happy and how they can feel good about themselves without needing acceptance from anyone else work on how you see yourself work on not like other people's criticisms affect you that much and most importantly work on your body and work on your health because the biggest threat of harm to someone like this author isn't external it's not even emotional its physical the screen she's putting on her body every single day could kill her she carries on with a condescending and pretentious tone writing but my darling friend the comments are the one passage from your world to mine and so on so on and heavy smoke they can send her lungs with cloudy masses and so on listen carefully to the strangers predicting my death gleefully foretelling amputated feet cardiac arrest and gruesome tonight I mean if people are telling you this gleefully then yes there's lucky people maybe even Psychopaths but if these people are genuinely trying to warn you to help you especially if it's your doctor telling you this they're trying to give you constructive advice then why ignore it because if you continue with the same lifestyle being like I say when I seem to be about 300 pounds from your earlier comments then these are very real very possible consequences you could facing on your future and this all that just seems to be ignoring them brushing them off say Oh overall means I don't have to listen to them and that just seems very short-sighted to me apparently this will in want certain thin friends to learn to better stand up for fat people because you'll be able to better see what needs standing up again I want to feel like one of these people who thinks they know everything because I'm far from that look I think I have a good idea of what needs standing up for in the realm of you know online comments and whatever if something means if someone whose name calling for the sake fit is on is being sworn up I'll stand up for them if the one is being more to something they can't help like a disability I'll stand up to them but if someone is just offering some constructive criticism for example someone posts a selfie and it's almost come along and comments and says hey I like most of your makeup but your eyeliner could use some work have you thought about switching to X product or have you thought about trying this technique instead there's nothing wrong with that I'm not going to stand up fraying on because there's nothing to stand up for that is a perfectly reasonable comment that came from a place of caring just like if someone posts something online about being overweight as on response to them saying have you tried cutting out sugary drinks I don't think there's anything wrong with that either because it's not derogatory it's constructive and again it's from a place of caring setting right they are just from my thoughts on this article in particular and also my ideas around the idea of this fat acceptance movement and the idea of you know loving every single body types and screwing the health consequences I do I do think it's a very short-sighted movement and I do have a lot of criticisms of it but yeah again I also have criticisms of people who just thought shame people for the sake of it criticisms on all sides what a happy positive video anyway let me know your thoughts on everything I've covered down in the comments I'd really love to hear from you so now thank you so much for watching I'll see you again soon [Music]

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Channel: Rachel Oates

Views: 75,823

Rating: 4.6006632 out of 5

Keywords: rachel, girl, rachel oates, oates, english, british, english vlogger, atheist, opinion, atheism, skeptic, social commentary, commentary channel, opinion video, fat acceptance, body shaming, fat shaming, healthy at every size, health at every size, why fat acceptance is stupid, i don't like fat acceptance, fat people, blog post, your fat friend, fatphobia, healthy advice, obesity isn't healthy, response video, video reaction

Id: UNz-95up6WE

Channel Id: undefined

Length: 22min 44sec (1364 seconds)

Published: Tue Aug 22 2017

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