NAME A QUESTION YOU THINK WOMEN ASK STEVE HARVEY ALL THE TIME. SHANNON: HOW BIG ARE YOUR LIPS? STEVE: HUH? SHANNON: HOW BIG ARE YOUR LIPS? QUINTON: GOOD ANSWER. [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] I LOVED IT. STEVE: YOU BLIND? [LAUGHTER] HOW BIG IS YOUR DAMN LIPS? IT'S BAD IF A WIFE FINDS ANOTHER WOMAN'S PANTIES. IT'S WORSE IF SHE FINDS THEM WHERE? JAMIL: IN HER BEDROOM. AUDIENCE: OOH... [APPLAUSE] JAMIL: YES. HAPPENED TO ME. STEVE: HUH? JAMIL: HAPPENED TO ME. STEVE: IT HAPPENED TO YOU. JAMIL: IT SURE DID. STEVE: HEY, DAWG, DAWG, DAWG, DAWG. [LAUGHTER] THIS AIN'T--THIS AIN'T THE TIME. JAMIL: OH, IT'S NOT? OH. STEVE: THIS--THIS A GAME SHOW. JAMIL: OH, OK. STEVE: YOU AIN'T IN COURT. YOU AIN'T IN THERAPY. YOU AIN'T TRYING TO SAVE NOTHING. THIS AIN'T THE TIME FOR THAT. SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH. JAMIL: OK, ALL RIGHT. SORRY ABOUT THAT. STEVE: DON'T ANYBODY HAVE TO KNOW THAT. WHAT THE HELL WRONG WITH YOU? BEDROOM! BRADEN: WORRIED ABOUT THE TOURETTE I WAS FEELING. ALL RIGHT, GUYS--WHAT'D YOU SAY? BRADEN: I SAID I--I HAVE A SMALL FORM OF TOURETTE'S, STEVE. STEVE: OH, YOU DO? BRADEN: YEAH, YEAH. IF YOU CATCH ANY OF THIS GOING ON DURING THE SHOW, MAYBE PAN OUT WITH THE CAMERA. [LAUGHTER] GARET: GOOD ANSWER, BRADEN! KERI: GOOD ANSWER, GOOD ANSWER. BRADEN: I'M NOT KIDDING. WHEN I WAS A KID, I USED TO--WHEN WE HAD SUBSTITUTE TEACHERS, I'D ACT LIKE I HAD THE SWEARING TOURETTE'S, WHICH ISN'T TRUE. TEACHER WOULD BE UP THERE TEACHING, AND I'D BE IN THE BACKGROUND, "SON OF A [BLEEP]! "SORRY. I HAVE TOURETTE'S. I CAN'T HELP IT. I CAN'T HELP IT." [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] TRUE STORY. STEVE: BUT YOU HAVE A MILD FORM OF THAT? BRADEN: YEAH. KERI: VIAGRA SOLVES THAT. VIAGRA CURES THAT. STEVE: VIAGRA CURES THAT? KERI: YEAH. UH-HUH. LOTS OF IT. TWO, TWO. IF YOU TOOK TWO, THAT'S WHAT WOULD CURE IT. STEVE: IF YOU TAKE TWO? REALLY? [LAUGHTER] REALLY? KERI: HA HA HA! GARET: DON'T--PLEASE DO NOT EVEN INVOLVE ME. DON'T EVEN PLEASE. FOR THE SAKE OF MY JOB, DON'T BRING ME INTO THIS. STEVE: NO, THIS IS YOUR WIFE, AND YOUR WIFE SAYS IF YOU TAKE TWO OF THEM YOU DON'T HAVE IT ANYMORE. GARET: THAT'S BULL. THAT'S BULL. STEVE: WHAT IS THAT, BRANDON? THAT'S WHAT? BRADEN: THAT'S SOME BULL...! [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] HE CALLED ME BRANDON. STEVE: IT DON'T TAKE ME NO TIME TO CATCH ON. PJ: WE GOT THIS. WE GOT THIS. WE GOT THIS. STEVE: PJ? PJ: YES, SIR. STEVE: I THINK MAYBE IF I TRY NOT LOOKING AT YOU. SHAMAIAH: YOU GOT THIS, BABY. STEVE: MAYBE YOU'LL GET ONE. NAME A PLACE, PJ, THAT OLDER WOMEN GO TO FIND YOUNG MEN. PJ: I'M GOING TO SAY THE HOSPITAL. STEVE: WHAT? WHAT? PJ: HOSPITAL. THEY GOT DOCTORS. THEY GOT YOUNG MEN AT THE HOSPITAL. I USED TO WORK AT THE HOSPITAL, I'M YOUNG. IT'S UP THERE, STEVE. IT'S UP-- IT'S GOT TO BE UP THERE, STEVE. STEVE: DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE OBJECT OF THIS GAME? PJ: YES, SIR. YES, I DO. STEVE: YOU--YOU--YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO TRY TO GUESS WHAT'S UP THERE. PJ: YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. STEVE: STOP SAYING WHAT THE HELL, AIN'T NO WAY IN HELL GONNA BE UP THERE. THERE AIN'T NO WAY IN HELL. NOBODY GO TO A HOSPITAL TO FIND NO DAMN BODY. DO I HAVE TO SAY IT? JUST GIVE HIS ASS THE "X." GIVE HIM--JUST GIVE HIM THE "X" AND THEN I'LL SAY IT. [BUZZER] HOSPITAL. [BUZZER] [LAUGHTER] HOSPITAL! [BUZZER] [LAUGHTER] I GOT IT--RIGHT HERE, JUST RIGHT. HOSPITAL. [BUZZER] STEVE: IS THIS THE QUEEN DOWN HERE? WOMAN: OH, YEAH. OH, YEAH. STEVE: WELL, WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING, NANCY? NANCY: I'M RETIRED. STEVE: OK. NANCY: A GROUP LEADER FOR BIBLE STUDY FELLOWSHIP AND I ALSO DO A LITTLE MASHED POTATO IN THE KITCHEN. I DO THE DANCE. STEVE: YOU DO THE MASHED... NANCY: I DO. STEVE: YOU WANT TO--CAN YOU DO IT? NANCY: YOU WANT ME TO SHOW YOU? STEVE: YEAH, I WANT TO SEE THIS. WOMAN: COME ON, MAMA. STEVE: DO I KNOW HOW TO DO IT? [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] ["MASHED POTATO TIME" PLAYING] DEE DEE SHARP: ♪ MY MASHED POTATO STARTED A LONG TIME AGO... ♪ [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] ♪ COME ON, BABY GONNA TEACH IT TO YOU MASHED POTATO FEEL IT IN YOUR FEET NOW MASHED POTATO COME ON GET THE BEAT NOW... ♪ STEVE: COME ON, DEE DEE. HEY! SHARP: ♪ COME ON, BABY... STEVE: DON'T RUN. COME ON, DEE DEE. HEY! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] WATCH IT. I GOT IT. I GOT IT. I GOT IT. I GOT IT. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] MISS NANCY. NANCY: YES. STEVE: UH. NANCY: OOH! STEVE: SEE, MISS NANCY, WHEN YOU, UH, WHEN YOU DANCING-- NANCY: YES. STEVE: IN A CLUB-- NANCY: YEAH. STEVE: AND YOU DO THIS HERE, WHEN YOU TURN YOUR BACK ON THE MAN... [LAUGHTER] AND YOU'RE DOING THE MASHED POTATO. SEE, ONCE YOU DO THAT, THEN SEE, I WAS STANDING UP THERE... [LAUGHTER] WATCH OUT, MISS NANCY. WATCH YOURSELF. WATCH YOURSELF, MISS NANCY. I SAID, BOY, THAT SURE AIN'T GONNA LOOK GOOD. NANCY: OH! STEVE: ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY RUN THAT TAPE DOWN AT BIBLE STUDY. [LAUGHTER] OH, LORD. MISS NANCY, YOU AIN'T BAD, GIRL. NANCY: THANK YOU.
