Facing Difficult Situations in Life | Ajahn Brahm | 6 October 2017

okay so as usual half an hour ago four years ago when my color AV guy was asking what I'm going to talk about have no clue whatsoever even now I'm not really sure but usually you know that you talk about how how these teachings how this attitude now which is called no Buddhist practice meditation how it actually works to help your ordinary daily life and even though that sometimes people feel are you a monk what do you know of ordinary daily life and it's been a very very very very very very very very very very busy three months for me people think the rains retreat so a time when I could just hide in my cave and do nothing but there's a whole big monastery to look after not only that other places as well emails crises deaths marriages sometimes you don't know the difference between the two of us so deep jokey so you do all that sort of stuff as well and sometimes there's many many calls upon your time but in all of those busyness and sometimes when you do get a lot of things on top of you all at the same time still you always remember this too will pass sometimes it's very burdensome and very heavy but it fades away again despite the rain had lots of rain down at serpentine during the last three months it gets very very wet but soon it will dry so because of that that this too will pass is one of those beautiful little teachings which you don't just talk to others about yet you practice yourself it's really important for me as a monk that you are what a former peasant said authentic you don't just tell others to do what you don't do yourself this is not just theory see stuff which really really works I remember just ask other people to become generous I try and do the same myself and I remember just being in Singapore there's a Singapore retreat going on right now just taking this is the today and tomorrow morning off and going back there on Saturday afternoon to finish off the retreat I do multitasks all the time do many many little drops actually big jobs sometimes and that reminded me that I was in Singapore many years ago and I did have a free afternoon I can't actually remember what they like but had a free afternoon and I did hear that one of you know the fellow monks he was see the head of the Buddhist library in Singapore and they were in a lot of debts because they wanted to get a good centre but you know it's very expensive and they were having to pay off that so I heard they were having a charity walk in the afternoon so all the people who were following me over the Singapore I said if you feel this after this go and help somebody else let's do some some nice kindness and raise some funds for one of my mates so we all went over there but of course the head in bank over there was very very surprised and very happy that I turned up and that's because I was well known over there I was also asked to give a little speech but before I gave the speech was the politician gave a speech first they invite a politician to also to speak of this event and he said no best of luck I'm really support this it's a good temple and all the best and then I asked him when I gave my talk I said are you actually going on the walk he said no nah it's too important I'm just giving the speech I'm going to another event and so I told him I said you're one of the politicians who talks the walk but you don't walk your talk he took it well but that is whatever you you say you have to do this isn't just fake Buddhist or just superficial spirituality and if you say just open the door of your heart you do that it's incredibly effective so if I get tired and stressed I open the door of my heart to that it's okay it's a part of life if you can do a bit of extra work or this you know sometimes things happen in this world you can't plan for them you know like even just today I thought if you've heard this yet there that they were cleaning up behind this wall in our monetary just built it which is actually finished the last two courses a couple of days ago and cleaning out with a backhoe and they pushed the wall over not that hole is only one one section well what goes up goes down well now what can you do you can really get upset and sue someone you can say whose fault was it you can blame somewhere you can jump up and down and get angry and upset what does that do I've had it with getting angry and upset doesn't solve ID that people don't listen anyway so I just know okay let it be we'll put it up again afterwards so what's the big deal so as a monk you have to really practice what you're teaching otherwise you're not walking the talk and you're going up the wall when the wall comes down and that's not very good for anybody so things happen in life so whenever anything goes wrong in life what happens and I keep on telling the same old story but it's such a wonderful story people criticize me for repeating things but you keep repeating the same old mistakes which is why you get the same olanta dose how many times you try to take an aspirin because you get a headache because you're not looking after yourself you notice I take drugs I take vitamins every day I take two vitamins vitamin C and vitamin T vitamin coffee in the morning a vitamin C in the afternoon and evening I was born in Inglewood mistake is in my blood have I proved it to be CNT and they came you auntie other bits of insight they don't seem to do anything but you have a vitamin C and now to you and actually feels good afterwards a vitamin vitamin C well I don't if it's good for your health but it certainly is good for the health of the people to have to put up with you in the morning solves a lot of divorces anyway so there we go you look after these things when things go wrong it is the simile of coming to the temple and when you walk home you tread in a big pile of dog and what do you do with dog when it gets on your shoes number one do not absolutely forbidden in Buddhism breaking the precept of wisdom you don't scrape it off your shoes you must always take it home with you and only scrape it off when you get to your garden and scrape it off under the flowers or the apple tree or the mango tree whatever fruit you like that's where you scrape off the dog poo because one year later your mango tree will have so many more mangoes there'll be much sweeter than ever before and whenever you bite into them angle and the juice drips down your cheek you must always remember what you're really eating and it's true you're eating dog that's where it came from but it's all been transformed into pure so whenever a whole partnership force on me and walls falling over lots of other stuff going on things going wrong events which I have to get around misunderstandings and stuff great dog poo for my presidency president AP SWA more dog poo for my Abbot ship because if you know how to use it you get so much wise and compassionate you can't escape from these things from time to time they come to everybody the unexpected tragedies and busyness and crises of our lives what are you gonna do get stressed out frustrated instead of fighting that's what most people do they fight this is wrong I'm gonna try and find somebody to blame I always remember the teachings of my master Chen chow now they want complicated teachings they're usually one-liners which were incredibly effective it's easy to remember and just know better than then I don't know like than twelve sessions with a psychotherapist that you're talking about that somebody sent a little cartoon to our monastery there was a squirrel a squirrel was on the couch at a psychiatrist's office and the psychiatrist you know with all the the certificates on the wall and said what why are you here squirrel and the squirrel replied well when I when I realized you are what you eat I realized that was nuts oh come on you are what you eat school was eat nuts therefore I found what I mean I'm nuts not bad so we got that posted in our monastry so do you eat any nuts today I did anyway I was I oh yeah that you have to understand that we do have crises and problems and troubles but how do we relate to them what do we do with them and all the time trying to cure things get rid of things change things blame things like that's what the blaming game my master ajahn Chah very easy to remember he said if you blame somebody disposable for pushing that wallow for bodhinyana monastery who's responsible for making that big mistake who is responsible for not doing it in time who's responsible for not sending emails correctly who's responsible he said that is like having an itch on your head and you scratch your bum think about it if you got an itch down here and you scratch your head to see itch go away of course not but you get two itches for the price of one so you've got whatever the wall fell over and you blame somebody else and that's another problem then when I leave they fit up we don't appreciate me I worked so hard I given so much you're given so much of all these years a wonderful wall falls over and you don't give me a break so we we understand that blaming doesn't get you anywhere because you know I make many mistakes so many mistakes to some of the people on the retreat down at China Grove the just after I after I became the abbot taken over from a TM chakra and I was very strict believe it or not and very thin as well it's amazing how strict people get so thin and slow I was walking around the grounds of the monastery in serpentine and I came across a hammer which was being left out in the grounds in the grass getting rusty it was covered with rust I thought I had I would have been in there but some careless heedless thoughtless monk have left it in the grass and not put it away now you all know that our monks monasteries the nuns monastery we all rely upon your generosity and donations not everybody is wealthy you know sometimes people come along they save up they think about because they think I want to be supportive these monasteries his monks and the nuns are doing a good job they save up and they buy us a hammer usually no good word because they want to give a good quality notice to help know our work and so they gave us a hammer and some idiot monk had left it out carelessly as if you know did wasn't worth anything to rust and I thought this was a good opportunity for an object lesson you know if you live on generosity you shouldn't go off and stay in in at the the donors expense big fancy hotel and drive big expensive cars and go on helicopter rides from Sydney - where was it bad about or something who was that one of the politicians I think you shouldn't do things like that because you know these are he representing poor people you you know part of a community sometimes people have to know do it really really tough so I thought this is a good opportunity so I pour all the monks into the Hall and I really scolded them really scolded them over what we call mendicant monks and months people have vows of poverty people who know don't have stuff and if he difficult having vows of poverty you noticed about a week or two weeks ago I thought it's about time I applied for a Commonwealth seniors card to get some more respect we already get meals on wheels every day people being Donna for us so I went in there to the center league and they said okay can you prove who you are and I thought you know for 43 years I've been trying to find out who I am it's a very difficult question so say no no no not metaphysically have you got your passport oh that's I think that's a certain number of points and is it okay let's see your your your bank accounts or your bank card and got that they got marriage license no have you got yeah your ownership of your house no your rental agreement no your driving license no we are so difficult to prove we exist that's why we believe in oneself we're just not here hey Eve we're not even here according to notes of the usual ways of identifying yourself and I thought it's okay and they don't have all this stuff but now you acquire it I don't remember I'm just gonna go back to where I started a few moments ago I remember that when I was a marketer I didn't even have calendars or watches there so simply when it was a time I didn't know what month it was for some time I didn't even know what year we were in we won't about that for years and so because didn't have any cock-up calendars or radios or TVs you're just in this beautiful timeless well in those days forest monastery isn't I'll hadn't change for centuries you know what timeless is wonderful who cares about years and months and days but someone would ask what the time was who say well the time is now minutes past the nowis hour of the ninth day of the ninth month of nineteen now now whatever lays so I didn't know what but then the first few months when I came to Perth we were staying in a small house in North purse you know Lynn knows that she was out at the time and even Erica you know you went there and there was she's around here somewhere and there was a Nepalese man who came to visit he had a note Buddhist background and he had an epileptic epileptic fit just in front of the house so he called the ambulance and then first thing the ambulance guy said to him is what day of the week is it and I why do you ask that so what if you don't know what day of the week it is they take you away straight away so the oh my goodness and he asked me I'd be in big trouble so from that time on I realize I'd better always at least know what day of the week is well you know we just sometimes the monks don't fit in you know to a modern society you know it is we're backward living in the past living in the time of peace and simplicity and freedom even in our houses don't really fit you know the government regulations bailiffs okay so the hammer I told the monks really fiercely shouldn't do that it's disrespectful of your generosity I always remember that is every cent every dollar which you give should be spent wisely so I really blasted them and at the end of my talk no no jokes they were just straight up as you do when you've been been told off and then at the end of the talk and was waiting for one of the months to put their hand up says sorry you know it was me said sorry and I timed well made a mistake I'd have forgiven them you know we don't do punishments in Buddhism you know it is acknowledge forgive and learn from it be know was more disappointing than the heedlessness of wasting people's gifts the worst part the Holy Spirit's not one of those monks owned up not one of them confessed it was them and that really disappointed me you know no honesty no really confession no admitting your mistakes Merthyr cloth that is really really dispiriting and i went out of that hall you know depressed now losing my faith in my fellow monks but as soon as I got outside the hall it just dawned on me why none of those monks had confessed it was them because it wasn't them it was me and so baracy all that type you know totally slipped my mind and I couldn't blame seniors moment I was quite young at that time I had no excuse I'd left it out there because I was one of the main builders and totally slipped my mind forgot about it been in there for days or weeks and afterwards you know I forgot about it so much I told everybody else off first though something bad so what I did I turn around could you please sit down a few more moments I've got a bit of a confession I know now who left that habit it was me so it doesn't matter well we all make mistakes but I learn from that I support all their hammers away you know before actually you leave them out there and when other people leave some stuff out oh we're not perfect we make mistakes we all make mistakes but I like laughing at mistakes ain't no mistakes really helpful and useful Josh I told this story hopefully you don't remember this just like that hammer when I slipped my mind many of my stories I hope you forgotten but this was last December when I was giving a retreat over in Malaysia because I know just giving her a treat now sati almost nine months so you should have forgot her by now ten months ago and these couple came in boy and girl came in for the interviews and the girl she did all the talking she did most of the speaking and I thought that's a sure sign because the guy was really quiet sure side and they're married hoo-ee trouble again stereotyping but that's what I thought rightly or wrongly so she did all the talking but every now and again when she said something she looked at so the guys sitting next to her and at the end at the end of the interview I just happened to say oh is that your hospital is very quiet at which point both of them burst out laughing almost hysterical so what's so funny and I said he's not my husband is my dad and she actually looks in her early 20s but she was actually only 16 and he looks about 30 even I was over 40 and when I explained why I thought you were we look now I'm in your 20s you look 30 and then they weren't upset at me because you tell a teenager a 16 year old she looks about 21 22 she really loves that that's flattery and I always say flattery gets you everywhere and him imagine him now in his 40s thinking he was he was young enough to look like a 30 year old or he thought that was brilliant they really love this Western monk so instead of criticizing me and telling me off they went outside and they came back in five minutes with a hundred Australian dollar donation that is how to pay the bills for the Buddha Society but there was a note on the donation say please use some of this for ajahn Brahm to go to the optometrist and check his prescription it's class there is a mistake but we don't get upset and angry at mistake we forgive them and laugh at them which means that this if phony look if only mr. Trump and Kim Jong hoon would start laughing at each other's mistakes you know as I'm gonna blow you up I could do much better than that I'm gonna blow you out twice now I'm gonna take themselves too seriously that's a trouble but anyway that when we make mistakes we learn from them and let them go so you know that we don't have this anger you don't have this ill-will so whenever things go wrong and I you know I have to take the burden up for other people mistakes I've got too much to do anyway it doesn't matter give me more so instead of complaining why me why do I have I realized the reason I traveled around a lot and do a lot of work is because in my previous life in my previous life I was a very lazy monk now I have to pay for it by working twice as hard as a monk should is now wonderful is then complaining we actually do something about it you know that end of it sweet you know we do have things like past lives people sometimes recall their previous existence is really interesting fascinating and that they retreats no over even though it's serpentine right now somebody actually wrote on the question a couple of days ago I know I wonder two days ago that they had a dream on his lips we were talking about reincarnation and their vivid dream was that in one of their lives there were a piece of ravioli weird but you know you've got to respect people's you know view some things it's really disgusting when people say New York crazy don't find out what do they mean this could be something really interesting and I said the night before they dreamt of another weird experience that there were a strand of spaghetti and they asked me in the question is this an example of past their lives oh so you do get new jokes sometimes but there's a Buddhist reincarnation past their lives ravioli speak people knew I was gonna tell that joke today some of the people here I try you see these jokes I try it out on a Friday afternoon to people who visit Bodine Jana just to check it out and they thought you okay yeah that's so bad that will go well but even though it's a bad joke and people say oh that's terrible all those people say it's a terrible joke I see them until they're friends afterwards hypocrites ha you can see just how sometimes people get sort of depressed angry upset burdened with life you notice a little bit of fun and games and joy and happiness that changes things sometimes it's like a a circuit breaker you know - you know your stress and anxiety and fear and worry something about obviously that laughter it releases lots of those endorphins into your bloodstream I stop seeing you it increases the immune system but it also brings you back into the present moment and I was interested in why that laughs and love and live are connected together they almost sound the same and I also noticed that you know that you have to be alive and loved to be able to laugh to be a bit light-hearted as well you know sometimes sometimes I tell jokes which are really really funny and there's some people actually refuse to laugh just now out of principle they're not gonna laugh they're too serious they want a serious talk or Buddhism they want to get out of suffering they want the nature of dependent internation you know and four noble truths and what the ultimate reality is they really stuffed up those people please excuse me but that's the case just intellectual conceited and whatever had not go any further but it's true you know because I've seen that people just what actually what ajahn Chah said he said they're like vultures they fly really high in metaphysics but where they live they speed on on dead stuff instead of just feet on the ground heart in the right place and actually feeling with the heart thinking with the heart knowing with the heart instead of with the head people so much in the head these days they think but they don't feel they debate instead of love enough now laughter is an emotional response some of those jokes don't make any logical sense they do actually open up the heart and make you he'll make you was that Pat Adams a doctor who went around with the red nose dressed in the tutu way ahead of his time and he made so many people happy and laughing and many people healed and got better same with people who are sick and depressed mental illness laughter it's something which is very deep there's a way of healing and in fact there's only one type of person I've never ever seen laughs and that's people in the coffin when I do funerals everyone else can laughed even notice that if you can't laugh you're dead so what's actually doing yes you know you can so go into your express existence the causes or your parents did what other people did all the traumas in your life all the difficulties all the unfair things which happened to you unfair things which happened some you what about me I was having such a wonderful life years ago as number two monk tailgating another famous monk and he went and got an disrobed and got married that was not part of my plan that sort of look after this joint al Maleh it's all good fun you always have this wonderful idea of not complaining not controlling not worrying about stuff any great fertilizer from my mango tree any difficulties don't blame anybody just take it on board see what happens any lots of work to do well if you get too stressed out wonderful there you go good reason to to resign or leave stress leave probably isn't I can't get stress leave right I don't have a contract of this place I don't have what's it called I've got no Union who's actually and negotiated a was it called a workplace agreement I should do that actually workplace agreement for monks the trouble is now how can we protest we do a sit-down protest and think I just on retreat so I know what to do you know what can what can we do anyway that's not in the game protest you just enjoy life peacefully profound just like an adventure taught me and don't just complain that's one of those really really really great other little dad in touch with him oh well you've heard it so many times but it fits in here and it's I remember this so up so well the world time when he'd finished building his Hall and he used the monks as free labor we had to to move a big part of us there's a big part of earth left over after booting his hall and when we had served to move it we already had one meal a day then usually rice and fork they were skinny frog too not nutritious real malnourished and work from about 9:30 to about 8 9 o'clock at night shoveling earth into the wheel bars pushing the wheelbarrows moving it and it's not like the conditions you have here in Australia this was in the jungles this was dirty and sweaty and all the mosquitoes would come on you you have been bitten to death tired sweating going all day no lunch no dinner just on that one meal a day just with a a a one bottle of coca-cola or Pepsi that was it but you ran on faith inspiration this was your teacher you owed so much to his wisdom he do anything for him so if he wanted our earth moved I will move it just like many of you if ajahn brahm wants you to help with the Catena you just go and help you forget about everything else yeah okay I'm fantasizing but anyway I had that faith three days we finally moved it I was so dirty didn't have time to go get a shower so my robes were really stinky and you were just so exhausted but we've done it for our teacher so that night I laid out how to sleep or did I sleep well that night just exhausted physically we woke up in the morn had all these plans to wash my robes have a good shower get some meditation in what happened that night ajahn Chah went to another monastery to visit just like I travel here travel there you notice to help out to be of service actually I don't travel a month at a after consider on Monday I'm going over to England to help out over there but I don't go anywhere I just get on the aircraft sit down the aircraft moves I don't there's the ups and downs of monastic life taking off going down my ups into house people ask how is your year up and down anyway really dirty and that day night he went away and the second mark this monk had sent him I really respect him you know he's a very good success of attention and you know he was the one who taught me that I went to visit him some years ago and I asked him it's like a monk's habits greeting know there's this ways we speak to one another depending upon your job hey you got the internet already so questions already are they complaints someone really telling me to stop soon or otherwise oh okay no good anyway we went went to see him and you say usually how are your disciples are they easy to trade that's used to like common greeting and he said I'll yeah they're really really easy to train I thought hey my not I said how'd you do that is it so easy you said if they want to go that way I didn't go that way so when I go this way I let them go this way they're so easy to train he knows how to they go and relax but anyway not that day because he realized he thought that the earth was in the wrong place so you know what he did to us he said the earth is in the wrong place move it another three days of hard work in the jungles sweating tired dehydrated being bitten by mosquitoes stinky no having out of published shower but he had a point so after six days we were finally finally finished you know at that point I thought maybe I should have been a Christian because you have sunday off not this place because that night attend shark came back you guessed if you haven't heard the story before I thought I told you to put the earth over that place you moved it to another place move it another three days of hard work and those senior monks they don't do anything they just tell us what to do really unfair really mean if he pushed a barrel for nine days he went order anybody else to do it so I was really upset I was really really angry I never became a monk to work like a laborer you know you got enough money in the accounts get a bulldozer or something to move this Noel shouldn't say what I was gonna say about the earth but you know what I was thinking and I was really upset and angry this is not what monastic life is all about you know way near a present of Buddha society you need not expect all these problems you don't expect all these difficulties as the membership secretary or the treasurer supposed to be nice and easy when you go in retreat as an average is supposed to be nice and peaceful just watching the trees grow all day when you build a wall you don't expect it to fall over the couple of days after it's finished but that's just not not on I was really upset and angry but there's such a thing called body language really fake it people know when you're upset and one of the monks saw that I was really upset so you came up to me thank you that month I don't know who you are I forgot your name but whoever you are thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you he just came out to me and taught such a simple lesson and that has pulled me through so many crises stress whatever it had to do I was so tired and had to do it again just even today if you knew what I was doing rushing around getting here late because I was teaching the study putana and Janice to the singapore group you know people want to get this and ask that and take photographs and just busy all day rushing around and now I'm here to give a talk and then tomorrow just more stuff and then Sunday the whole day doing the Catena and as soon as that curtain is over on the aircraft I'm crazy Oh am i because I learned from that sense I had to do because he told me oh this monk whoever it was told me when I was really upset and angry three days of pushing wheelbarrows when that was I shouldn't be doing that that's not what I became a monk for and he told me pushing the wheelbarrow pushing it is the easy part thinking about it is a hard part oh thank you that much you saved my life so many times thinking about it the interview the next committee meeting the argue is go to work at a buddy warning going back to school going for the ELS test whatever is it was supposed to be doing whatever you're doing ordaining whatever it is doing it is so easy thinking about it's a hard part so for me that changed the whole ballgame yeah you're tired whoa waffle that's it easy part wolf walls fall down they be doing that for generations so falling down is easy part the inking about it that's the problem going to the dentist getting a tooth fixed going to two biopsies that's the easy part thinking about it's a hard part dying dying is so easy thinking about the hard part it's true you know people die every day you died before it's easy you just sit there and just die thinking about it is a hard part so when I look at that just volunteering to be the community coordinator so easy just don't think about it just what until now so volunteering to help out at next Friday or on next Sunday volunteering to help with the car parking so easy thinking about it that is what is the problem so when I learn that just do it don't think about it it's a slap you came so easy being a NAPA do it it's easy think about is the hard part giving a public talk giving a presentation which many people have to do these days thinking about it for actually crazy doing is so easy I've just winged it for another three quarters but now not now want to talk well that's all I'm doing doing it so easy that was great fun that way I just love and this stage of our monastic life doing weird stuff things which I've never done before okay they give him talks about Buddhism and stuff but as some years ago 6pr radio show late at night just it was a Friday night just after hear rushing after the 6pr studio what did that she know what the program was you don't don't think about it don't plan and I Nicholas got there just in time and earphones were on and the red light went on they were recording so couldn't say anything and the presenter was saying presented to special guests today I still remember the fur guest dr. Gabriel Morrissey the expert on sex and adult problems in Australia and that part I thought oh my goodness what show am I on it was an adult themes I'm a Mac said it before about 30 years at that time and I was an adult show so what do you do you don't think about it just do it focus it was weird it was really a weird experience because they could choose no quarters no whoever would choose know who they would ask and the the presenter you know what's your name at Jen problems was that so so just call me mr. monk so as mr. monk I quite like that so anyway mr. monk all the course were coming to me which was weird the expert knew nothing nothing me the celibate monk who should know anything knew everything just like I just went to a conference in the dachshund hotel about 10 years ago it's just when it opened on transport with Alanna lieutenant I've got to know her she was a local minister local remember of our medera and she invited me over there remember the public they had their lunch I couldn't eat it's too late and so I will interviewed by shipping magazine and they asked me about no shipping and just the transport industry and shipping and they asked me all these questions and I just made it up as I went along which is what I usually do you know what happened you know I just forgot about it just a bit of fun really relaxed and then he came about six months later I think to hear he said hambone you know I called that article is really peach that zen and the art of shipping by ajahn Brahm it must be there somewhere in the internet and he said a time bomb you wouldn't believe how popular that article was was he I don't believe he said but it was popular it was syndicated in every major shipping journal in the world and he got all these emails back from these professors you know in universities on transport and shipping with the comment we don't know who this hatch and Brahma is but he CERN knows what he's talking about it's crazy isn't it but that's cuz you don't think about you just do it so whatever you have to face in the next few days visiting your mum know if going to the funeral service of someone you love very much and now she's gone not knowing how you're gonna cope doing it is easy thinking about it's a hard path that means you don't have any stress you have busyness a lot of burdens you don't think about it you just do it it's amazing how effective you can be have you ever noticed how much energy thinking drains from you you can think all night not sleep totally drained you got a solution no you just lost a lot of sleep all that thinking for know is out except draining and you get really cranky so if you don't learn anything else except from this place here just do it don't think about it thinking is the hard part any part of life doing it is easy so there you go that's the first talk back doing it is easy so I didn't think about it there we go okay stop so that's good okay let's see what we got so 20 fish 3 okay Sophia from Portugal Evy from USA Adam has got nothing I think from know you check Twitter did you check the Twitter account from mr. Trump no anyway Sophia from Portugal sometimes when I face difficult situations I can see that I acted under the effect of defilements but I can't stop doing it what should I do nothing why are you so critical of yourself you're critical of yourself because your face typical situations you act under the threat of defilements and you feel you're no good you're hopeless you're a failure that is why you keep acting out of departments because you think you're hopeless then you can't do it and the first things is of a repetitive behavior addictions is always the thing I'm hopeless I can't do it so when you come across like a monk like me and I say well you have departments welcome everybody does it's just par for the course so you get angry but for goodness sake don't get angry about being angry you afraid you're anxious like one good in jhana Grove I said today she was anxious I said well you're just anxious about being anxious at least take that second level off so just anxious not anxious about being anxious fed up was about being fed up so I'm depressed again I'm so depressed about being depressed I'm just overworked and I'm just overworked about being overworked so just keep it simple when you take the one part of it you just if you acted under the farmers you don't always act out of departments every now and again you do give yourself a break there's one but once put it they said this is where I am this is where I know I should be in my spiritual developments just in my career they made it nice and official easy this is where I know I should be this is where I am and I just can't get up there solutions easy this is where you are and this is where you want to be how about lowering your expectations and so where you are is where you want to be problem solved a long time ago I tried stop trying to sort of give really inspirational new talks with new jokes every week I just can't do that I know you'd like that every time with the inspiration new jokes this is where you want me to be this is where I am if you ought to be happy just lower your expectations about improv and the president and the secretary and everybody else on the committee expectations of each other you're human beings you make mistakes you normal so anyway when you make peace with your departments when you open the door of your heart to any departments then the deformers get evaporated they get zapped every from us a walk of service a circuit breaker and once we fall into a cycle of unhelpful rumination very easy go out and just watch these the waves on the beach go into the forest and listen to the sound of the birds what is sunset go out and take off your hats and your blanket and get cold get wet get soaked to the skin like you did as a kid jump in the puddle and just get get mud all over your new dress whatever it is get real and you find life actually brings you into the present moment you don't ruminate anymore so this would call this nature therapy mud therapy getting soaked therapy little things like that gets you really get and then that circuit breaker Marcy from Scotland when someone is directing anger or negativity towards you how can I make them understand but I don't need to accept it and it belongs to them just walk away just if he can't walk away anchor2 you just listen and when they pause when they they take a breath don't use that as an opportunity to tell them what a full day off or to tell them off I'll tell how inappropriate is you get angry at me when they stop be silent give me this one one minute of silence after they blasted you unfairly inappropriately without grounds so ma'am I remember when they finish you be silent let's look at them give them one minute to reflect or what they've just not if you speak back immediately they lose that opportunity to reflect to debrief as I was saying it's a very powerful technique because they shout shout shout they expect you to shout back or to say something back but you don't you're one minute pause for them and the only thing they can consider is actually what they just said then they realize just what a fool they have been how about this speech was because when you get angry you're not really feeling what it's doing to you and what you're doing you're not really self-aware at all just aware of that be a strd that terrible person we should have done it and they didn't do that and misunderstood my email and it did not do that it didn't go down there that is looking out there you don't realize what you're doing yourself so the one minute of silence for reflection after someone is shouted at you being angry at you or negativity towards you gives them a chance an opportunity to reflect what they've done a lot of times I'm off crikey should have done that so there is a some answers now are there any questions from nollamara Center the center of the Buddhist world on a Friday night maybe I don't know any questions from here for excellence so there's no questions at all now so I don't expect any line of people asking me questions in my dreams in my fantasies okay so let's pay respects the bullet of a Sangha and then we can stop the formal part of this evening nice to see you all back but sometimes I worry monks away for three months you more might convert to something else so anyway haven't well done some I spin around Pamela calling mr. Prem mr. pepper cometh his mom

Channel: Buddhist Society of Western Australia

Views: 113,614

Rating: 4.8128986 out of 5

Keywords: buddhism, dhamma talk, ajahn brahm, difficult situations

Id: 4yy0k6zefVM

Length: 60min 54sec (3654 seconds)

Published: Fri Oct 06 2017