EXPOSING MYSELF l reacting to your assumptions about me.

hey what's a pillow my name is Emma and today I'm going to be reacting to your assumptions about being I asked you guys on Instagram if you would send me your assumptions that you have made about me and I'm going to be either confirming them or denying them today and I'm super hyped for this video you were a diva growing up yes I was the absolute worst when I was a child I was so bitchy to absolutely everyone when I was younger even my friends and family like I was one of those kids where I was like it's my way or the highway and I was a total diva about it if you were doing something I didn't like I'm so glad I grew out of that as I got older because I was like a terror to be around when I was younger you're an extrovert I don't know why I got so many people telling me that they think I'm an extrovert on this because I am so not I am such a strong introvert I get all of my energy from being alone and although I do enjoy being social and going out and hanging out with friends and whatnot it's very draining for me and I need a lot of time to recuperate that's what being an introvert is and an extrovert is the opposite so I just like I don't get how I give off that vibe because I think you look at me and you're like this is a girl who like spends her Friday nights at home because that's what I do you don't want kids that's a difficult one to answer because like in theory I would love to have kids I would love to have a family and like bring up children that I'm really proud of but I'm a big realist when it comes to like planning out my future and just at the current point I am in my life right now I just like don't foresee me ever being in a position where I would be able to raise children I think a lot of that derives from financial and security like I don't think I'll ever be able to be in a position where I would be able to purchase my own home and I just don't ever see myself being comfortable enough to be able to financially support children and like give them a life that like I would be happy providing for them so do I want kids yeah sure and definitely like as I grow older and become more of an adult it might become more foreseeable but like where I'm at right now it just like doesn't seem plausible for me to dream about you are exactly the same off-camera I mean I think so I don't put on a facade or like step into a different persona for booktube like I feel like I'm being totally myself now I just always say that like booktube brings out different parts of my personality where I'm much more enthusiastic and excited and positive and happy because I'm talking about something I really love but in other settings like when I'm just like hanging out home with my friends or at school or at work like those things won't be as prominent but I'd say generally I think I act the same off-camera but that's more for like other people to decide I guess you find it draining mentally to be on social media sometimes sometimes all the time I love social media I love what the Internet has done for me but definitely the amount of energy I exert into social media is very very draining for me like there are times where I'm like I can't deal with all the stuff that's going on online and I have to take a break but there are also times where I just like can't get myself out of the social media hole so I've started like setting timers and limits for myself every day which has been really helping but yeah like I would love to go on like a full social media detox I think it would be really good for me but I do still like it enough that like I'm gonna put up with it every day you want to write a book one day I would love to write a book one day I have had an idea that is very solidified in my mind for like years now I have so much of it developed and planned but I just don't know how to write I don't understand anything about the craft of writing and I am the type of person where I really want to like study writing structure and research how to write a novel before actually given a go at it you're shorter in real life than you seem on video this is a really subjective thing on the internet like when you only see this much of me I guess you can't really gauge how tall I am I'm like five six I say here's a clip of me standing next to my bookshelf in full body so maybe you can get a better idea of how tall I am I'm pretty average height though you had curly hair when you were younger I don't really consider my hair curly I consider it like not nice wavy because it's not consistent I never let my hair dry naturally I haven't seen my natural hair in years I either blow-dry it or I leave it to dry and braids here is a clip from a video I filmed a few years ago where I like went to sleep on my wet hair that's like the closest you'll ever get to it though you live with your boyfriend I do not actually live with my boyfriend although Doug has like basically lived at my house for a lot of my relationship in recent years where he'll just be over for like days and days and days at a time we definitely do not live together as this past January Doug actually made the decision to move back to England so he is currently living in England while I'm in New York fake James yeah I know it's been really difficult at times but like we talk every day we FaceTime basically every day I'm going to visit him in August which I'm super hyped about and the thing that makes it easier is like this is not a forever thing he is living there for an undisclosed amount of time but when he feels ready he's gonna move back to New York and things will be like nothing ever happened so that's just a thing that we have to deal with for now and it'll all be okay you cook a lot that could not be farther from the truth but I do not cook at all I am not good at it and I put in no effort to hone my skills when it comes to like a nice well-rounded well-put-together meal like you will not find it from me you only ever listen to little peep and nothing else I mean it's kind of a stretch but it's also like not really a stretch my music taste is dominated by little peep I am like slowly trying to collect every single song he's ever created off the internet my current playlist is that like 300 songs and it is like definitely what I listen to the most my relationship with music is kind of weird because in middle school in high school I was like so into music music was my life and then as I got into college and whatnot I just like didn't put as much energy into like listening to like specific bands and artists and whatnot and I've just like sort of picked from songs I like over the years I was massively into electronic music for all of my teenagehood and now that I pole-dance I listen to a lot of like pop and hip hop and R&B because I like to choreograph routines in my head when listening to music but little peep is definitely at the heart of it like I listen to little peep every single day without fail I have my music divided into like different moods so I have like my sad peak playlist my angry Pete playlist my high P playlist so it would be untruthful to say I only listen to him but like mostly you eat really healthy I definitely don't any form of restriction even if it is like junk food and fast food and things that like aren't very nutritious it's like a one-way ticket to eating disorder relapse for me so I've just like learned over the years I just can't do that I try to eat intuitively and like that does sound like very simple like oh yeah you eat what you want but being very intuitive with your hunger cues and what your cravings are is like a true skill that takes a lot of work to refine so it's something I always am working on but like if I want a burger I will get a burger if I want a salad I will get a salad and the goal is that neither of these are better or worse than the other I just eat it cuz that's what I want and it seems to work out really good for me you don't like it when fans message you that's not true I love getting messages from whoever I know it's like not necessarily easy to always get messages to me because I have my DMS close not a lot of places but like I do enjoy getting messages and reading through them the fault is that like I just physically cannot reply to all of them and I also won't always be able to guarantee that I've seen it so I do appreciate messages even if I can't reply to them very frequently the only types that really set me off or when someone is like hi can we talk more and become friends because I really like your videos cuz typically like I don't know the person all that well even if we've interacted online a few times and it just puts me in a really uncomfortable position I'm sure with many people we would have a lot in common and we would be really good friends but I just can't make the promise of friendship to everyone who asks especially when like I just don't know a lot of people personally I just need these things to develop organically and it does make the distance and the power dynamic between viewer and creator more apparent and so like I'll never feel like fully comfortable as a result of that but overall any messages I receive whether you just want to say you really liked my videos or you read a good book because of me and you really enjoyed it if you want to share like what's going on in your life or anything like mental related like I'm super open to receiving those and reading those and replying when I can you were one of the og book tubers I definitely do not consider myself an OG booktuber because I started my channel because of other booktubers I was definitely not one of your original I like to think of it as we have like three different generations of booktube we have like the og first generation which is like Jessie Kat Christine Reagan Sasha then you have the second generation which I'd consider myself to be a part of and like people who have started around the same high as me and like the friends that I've really built up my channel with and then there's the third generation which are like the newer book tubers that are currently growing in our community and I think that's really awesome because it shows like how close-knit our community is that like we can organize it that way I just find it really interesting they're scared that a summit in recovery trying to help others in the future will make you relapse definitely not for one I've been in recovery for like seven years at this point and by the time I'm practicing and actually helping people as a counselor it'll be ten years in recovery would just show why old so firstly I have a super strong foundation built over like a full decade before I'm gonna be actually working with clients and also as a student as someone who's currently training to become a counselor this is part of our curriculum and what we learn we learn the importance of taking care of ourselves and managing our own mental health before we can even start helping others and also how to not take our work home with us and let us affect us so there's like so much training and preparation for that involved in my program that like I'm confident it won't be a huge struggle once I'm actually in the field super good at time management and you hate being late for things this is half true because I am pretty good at time management like I almost always get everything I need to done on time but I'm always late to everything school work hanging out with friends appointments whatnot I am always fucking ways to everything my fatal flaw is that I just don't factor in like being five minutes early to anything like if I have class at 5:25 like that means I'm leaving my house with enough time to pull into the parking lot at school at 5:25 I'm trying to work on it and trying to get it handle but I am just perpetually late to absolutely everything you constantly wear black leggings how could you tell black leggings are real pants don't let anyone tell you anything different they are super comfy they always fit they go with absolutely everything you're always open to try new things I would disagree I don't think I'm very open to trying new things but I definitely am a little bit more adventurous when I'm with other people I stick to what I know I enjoy most of the time but when I'm out with like friends and stuff I'm definitely more interested in like trying new food or going new places and new experiences and whatnot you're a vegan definitely not I love the idea of being a vegan I really support the movement and I do try to make more vegan friendly choices in certain areas of my life but it's just not realistic for me like with my current attitudes towards food I just don't foresee veganism being a healthy thing for me and while totally there are substitutes out there and like I do enjoy getting vegan food with my vegan friends and whatnot but the fact is like I would never be satisfied I would be miserable all the time eating substitutes and things that would not really fulfill me mentally and so that's my reasoning people disagree with it but I just know that it's like not something that is realistic for me at this point you like reality shows I do I am NOT good at watching TV as many of you know I'm just like never continue with a series ever but like reality shows are like fine and easy to consume and there's been a lot of favorites over the years I grew up on Project Runway I loved Dance Moms I've been a ho for Jersey Shore since I was 13 and it has not changed at 22 I don't watch them all the time like a lot of people but they do bring me some joy you hate group work in class yes I fucking hate group work so much no matter how much additional work I make for myself by working alone I will choose that over group work every day sometimes I'm afraid I like offending my classmates because the second the professor gives us the choice to work alone or work in a group I am like I am working alone and I'm always afraid they're gonna think it's because like I don't like them or I don't want to work with them but it's just because I have very strong opinions about my schoolwork and I want things exactly the way I want the I don't like relinquishing that control to other people I also don't like depending on other people for grades like because I've been in so many situations where the professor has forced me into a group with people who like don't do anything it makes me really resentful about working with anyone because I just don't trust them to get the work done so I will always work alone I hate group work I probably should like become a little bit more okay with it but for now like it's a hard pass on group work you're not straight this is something I disclosed on my curious cat a couple of months ago but like I'm aware like no one saw it so I'm just gonna reiterate it but I am still like not super comfortable with this and it's very new to me so this isn't the video for me to get super into it so I'm sorry I'm not willing to answer the many questions I'm sure a lot of you guys are going to have but for now I'm comfortable saying I am NOT straight I'm queer and I'm very hopeful I can get myself into a position where I can talk more openly about that in the future after I've done some more personal work you aren't close with your sister that's why we haven't seen her on your channel I do wish I was closer with my sister like I love my sister and I have so much fun hanging out with her it's just that I don't get to see her super frequently and like both of us aren't great textures but when we're together it's really good sometimes people think when you're a youtuber if you like don't talk about someone frequently or if they're like not in your videos then you're not super close to them but that's not true my sister is just like not into YouTube that's not her thing so she's not like the first person I would call up to like film a video you feel like you have to read certain books even if they don't interest you absolutely not I have friends and I know a ton of people in this community where they're like I know this book is absolute garbage and I'm going to read it anyways because I think it'll be funny or I get enjoyment out of critiquing it and I think that's all fair and valid it's just that like I would never want to spend time on a book I didn't really think I had the potential to love I'm just like super super picky with what I read and when I want to read it and if I like don't think that like this book is going to really be enjoyable to me in this moment like I will not pick it up there's so many books out there that are super hyped and so many people love and I definitely am like colic I wish I understood what people were talking about but I do not care enough to invest my time and to read yet if I don't think I would personally love it you had a hella seen phase and it still lives in you I definitely went through a seen phase it was not the most shocking scene Vaes to have graced the internet but you know like ripped jeans under tutus and raccoon stripe extensions in my hair like it was a thing I went through I wouldn't necessarily say it like prominently lives in me I definitely think a lot of what was established in my life at that time has carried into like my sense of style and my sense of music but you know we we all went through something at one point or another there's no reason to cringe over it you don't like to party although I am an introvert I do enjoy like going out and having a good time with my friends I went to a lot of parties in high school and I have like really great memories of those but definitely I was like my friend group dwindle then I got into college it like wasn't a super common occurrence that happened in my life and I would like to go out more than I do now but it's also not something that's like super important to me I just like enjoy going to parties you like pole dancing more than hoop dancing and that's definitely true I do still love hoop dance I do it pretty frequently at home I just don't post it online which makes people think that like I've stopped but like I still do hoop I just don't really put effort into it anymore like I'm I haven't learned a new trick in years at this point and I put way more my energy and effort into pole dancing because I find it more rewarding pole is just more challenging for me therefore there's a greater reward to get at the end of it and I've just been like more passionate about pole then I am with hooping it's not like I've turned my back on it it's just that like I want to focus my energy into a different form of dance and fitness you got some beef with some book tubers I mean like I have I've definitely been involved in like more than a few online arguments but I don't even know if I would necessarily consider that beef because I feel like it's not really exclusive to book tubers and I've definitely experienced people talking shit about me whether it's something that I'm able to come to are my own or if someone is like hey I just want to let you know this person was talking negatively about you but I also don't really consider that beef because like it's just gonna it's gonna happen when you have a community of people working together closely there's been at least one case of like true true beef between me and some other booktubers but there's just no point in rehab chick nap because it was dealt with maturely and we've all moved on with our lives but also it's like it's booktube like none of this is that deep let's just stick with the people that we like in the community and if you don't like someone you just give them their distance and if you have to interact be polite about it and then we can all move on with their lives and it's a great thing booktube drama isn't a foreign concept it occurs all the time I just feel like it doesn't typically involve me or my friends and like that's the way I'm satisfied you only started to love England after you met Doug that is actually so incorrect I feel like I've always really loved England in the UK like I grew up loving Harry Potter like my favorite youtubers back in the day we're all British and then when I started watching Doctor Who in ninth grade I became really obsessed with England and it was just like a constant part of my life and so therefore when Doug and I started dating there was actually a rumor going around that I was only dating him because he was like the only British guy in her school and had an accent so some people thought Doug was actually a product of my obsession with England as opposed to the catalyst you miss your long hair I do I'm trying to grow it out again I don't think I would grow it out that long to the point where it was like really far down my back and getting caught in the car door every single day I definitely don't miss the maintenance because it would take me so long to blow-dry it and straighten it and just manage it every single day and shorter hair has been a breeze for that but I really missed the way the long hair looked I loved that I could do so many more things with my hair back then like I'm much more restricted with the beading shorter so we'll see how long I can grow it out to this time you love avocados you could not be more wrong I hate avocados I think they are so disgusting they're probably one of my least favorite foods I've ever eaten I would rather get punched in the face than even part of an avocado I'm being serious you were very hard on yourself with your studies I am super hard on myself with my studies I had a crying filled session with my therapist the other day because I was feeling so inadequate as a student but like everything's okay now I've always been pretty hard on myself with my studies number one because I've like always gotten good grades and I was always on Honor Roll in school and the Dean's List in college but I'm especially critical of myself when it comes to subjects I'm really passionate about and like now I'm a grad student and I'm like paying so much money to study what I have been working for for like the last 16 years of my education I'm incredibly hard on myself I mean it could be worse like the fact that I am a good student and Duga could reads and finish everything on time really does help me deal with it because like I know I'll be okay in the end but it's definitely something I'm trying to work on and like this semester I'm really focused on relaxing and not stressing myself out as much and like we'll see how that goes you don't like concerts I love concerts I really wish I went to more concerts I went just so many concerts in high school they were like one of the highlights of me being a teen was going to concerts with my friends as I've gotten less invested in specific artists I have been going to less concerts and also I just like I don't like spending money on concerts like I've been really spoiled in high school where like all of the tickets I bought were like thirty to fifty dollars and now like if I want to see someone at Madison Square Garden or Barclays Center I have to pay like upwards of a hundred so that's definitely discouraging but I would like to go to way more concerts because it's something that's always brought me a ton of joy you've kissed a girl I have you were really popular in high school because you were so pretty that's really sweet unfortunately my high school is not as kind I was not popular in school at all I had my super emo scene phase in middle school and then throughout the rest of high school I had like pretty distinct like close-knit friend groups up until my senior year when I was a total isolated loner so I never delved into the realms of popularity I think I was like generally well-liked and I didn't have a ton of enemies but like I was average I was definitely not popular oh you don't like some of the books publishers pay you to promote but you still say you like them I really hope this isn't like a genuine assumption about me and it's just like someone trying to get tianhao publishers with booktubers because that is so wrong firstly the vast majority of books I do sponsorships for our books I have not read like they're sent to me right before release date like I don't even have time to read them a lot of the time I'm mostly just saying like here's this bug that just came out here's the synopsis I'm interested in reading it and you should pick it up if you want to like there's not even a lot of area for me to give you my personal opinion but even after the sponsorship is done and like I do get to reading some of these books I've been totally open and honest about it like a lot of books I've hidden sponsored have been like my favorites and I am open when I don't like them here's a stack of books that I was either paid to include in the video or paid to read and like they became absolute favorites of mine that I recommended multiple times on my channel then there's this stack of books that I was paid to promote in some capacity that I either did not like and express that on my channel or like I didn't even finish the thousand the floor idea enough shit cuz I didn't like it and like I'm totally open to saying that but either way I've never felt afraid or felt influenced by the publisher to say a certain thing about a book I've been prayed to promote it's usually I'm interested in it or I tell you my genuine thoughts afterwards and that's like the same for any book I read sponsored or not you are a really good driver I'm acceptable I'm not a bad driver like I don't endanger other drivers and I'm not someone who like gets into a lot of crashes or hits things a lot I just don't think I necessarily have the best driving skills I do drive a lot so I think I have improved which like I guess is just natural for driving for many years but you know I'm not good I'm not bad I'm just like okay I do probably have friends I'd be like am I your shit driver is there a chance that you may possibly be a secret tick-tock eager all umm what's an eager like I've never heard of that before I don't really know what that consists of or what like what would an e girl even really look like [Music] thanks to whoever sent me that and let me get it out of my system because I feel like it's been building up for a couple months so that concludes my video on reacting to your assumptions about me thanks again to everyone who sent me assumptions and in the comments below I'd be really curious to know if like you expected my answers if you were surprised by them or if you have any further assumptions about me bunch of thousand for this video thank you guys so much for watching and I will see you soon for a new one bye [Music] [Applause] [Music]

Channel: emmmabooks

Views: 64,081

Rating: 4.9696255 out of 5

Keywords: book, books, read, reads, reading, reader, booktube, booktuber, emmmabooks, emmabooks, assumptions about me, reacting to your assumptions about me, rumors about me

Id: 9uHxZqEcOv4

Length: 24min 6sec (1446 seconds)

Published: Tue Feb 26 2019