Everything Wrong With Passengers In 16 Minutes Or Less

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you have officially crossed the line of logo decency Hollywood also reads position if this giant spaceship is spinning to simulate gravity then why are all the stars that can be seen out this window completely stationary also the CGI of this cockpit is just bad enough for me to worry that I'm actually watching Final Fantasy again boring robotic text continues to give the audience a tour of the ship even though we'll get one with Chris Pratt in just a second that will last 30 minutes also also I would hope that this ship's advanced technology that allows it to conduct interstellar travel would also allow it to detect an asteroid field and navigate around it but it seems the ship is designed to create an inciting incident for the plot rather than get its passengers safely to their final destination it's a tactic the Avalon learned from United Airlines so this ship hits a giant iceberg err I mean asteroid and one random pod hooks up and decides to wake it's single inhabitant 90 years early you think these ponds would be controlled together in some way that would keep just one from going rogue but if that were true this movie would be more about how six mechanics wiped out the Avalon's bar and complained that the only humanoid robot looks like Michael Sheen it's okay James dammit Jim can we agree that no other intergalactic traveler can be named Jim also I can believe the asteroid field causes a series of events to occur by which Jim spawn was activated early what I can't believe is AI that is so amazing it can detect you'd rather be called Jim than James but still not know his pod open way too early you're a passenger on the starship Avalon seriously why does Jim have no idea where he is did someone knock him over the head on his way to work put him in the starship against his will you'll enjoy space travel at its most luxurious that asteroid hit also screwed up Jim's wake up video given that he's a lowly mechanic and only has access to the bare minimum the ship has to offer these little Roombas around cleaning even though no one is set to wake up for 90 years you're adorable illuminate for you is it so hard to tell him he's in room 268 I mean the illumination thing is cool if you ever forget but tell him the number for God's sake hunky lead character is seen taking a shower with the water hitting in the back of his neck cliche so one passenger wakes up and the entire ship kicks into gear acting like everyone's awake because the ship is this is all these extremely complex AI systems but doesn't have a clock for it to know that someone is up early nor does it have the intelligence to wait for everyone to enter the auditorium before starting a presentation prosperous planet the cradle of civilization but for many it's also overpopulated maybe this presentation is continuing because it's more for us the viewing audience then for learning group 38 where is everybody we are all on the starship Avalon this hologram flight attendant is answering Jim's question even though he is directed to in the wrong Tilian please the captain is usually found on the bridge in the command ring Jim rightly does not have access to the bridge but somehow has access to the command ring which access requires special authorization so why did the first door open at all then reply in 55 years so if they are even half way from Earth and it still takes this long to transmit messages then how would the Avalon be able to communicate with anyone on earth once they all woke up in ninety years all the information would be extremely outdated that will be six thousand twelve dollars proving that sending messages from the Avalon is like present-day Earthlings trying to use gogo in-flight Wi-Fi I had looked past the lights coming on when he walks into a certain area but I after believing that the humanoid bartender would be fully functioning ninety years early this seems like an appliance that would be taken out of storage and assembled by a crew member during the month before all the passengers wake up please make a selection sorry the mocha cappuccino extreme is reserved for Gold Class passengers if he's logging into this thing with this bracelet then why doesn't the computer show him only the drinks to which he has access you mean people have to play a guessing game to figure out what coffee they can drink even though Jim is just a passenger he has access to the maintenance area can open all these pods and take replacement parts Jim willingly jumps into a pod that malfunctioned earlier and is closing the door how does he know what's going to work how do they know that it won't just lock him in it does eventually let him out but this movie is supporting footage for what I just said would be excellent at cinema since there isn't a fail-safe on these paths to keep them from waking up 90 years early but if you have one hard enough from the inside it will open right up since these pods never malfunction it seems like this wouldn't be available either it's clear to me now that the ship is just going to experience problem after problem until Jim fixes everything with Jennifer Lawrence not only saving themselves but everyone on the ship will go ahead and add a sin for predictability but this makes me wonder if a whole bunch of critical errors happen and there's no one week to fix them what the ship just explode and everyone would die why is the no system for some hyper intelligent robot like the one they made to serve drinks to solve any problem that may arise during the 120 years the ship is in transit or at least have a way to wake up a team of crew members that can fix these issues and give them a way to go back to sleep it's this level of design hubris that sunk that a cruise ship a hundred years ago what was that thing called even though Jim prized the door to this luxury suite open with a crowbar the room comes on normally and doesn't act like he just broke in on top of that he has access to the part of the ship where these luxury suites are can order at the fancy sushi bar and can play the dance-off game yet he can't order a fancy coffee in the cafeteria beginning to think Chris Pratt loves dancing so much he's made it a contractual obligation I'm just realizing that the first third of this movie is basically the pilot episode of the last man on earth but in space not only is Jim able to suddenly enjoy all the amenities of the ship upon gaining access to that room but he also found that hilarious fake beard to wear I sympathize with Jim not having human contact but if he really wanted to simulate that why not just give Arthur a hook Jim has magical tears that can still stream down his face even in zero-gravity by the with this ship allowed Jim to get in the airlock without a suit I wanted Dave dead but it's still at the courtesy to warn him about entering the airlock without a helmet Jennifer Lawrence plays or Lane rejected names include Jane supernova Celeste Morningstar and hotbody McNabb debts searching passenger profiles space books talking the first day of school at this school bus took 120 years to get there funny translation if you were hot anything you say with good humor is hilarious say you were trapped on a desert island and you had the power to wish somebody there with you why would you tell this Android bartender the story what function does it serve other than for him to later tell Aurora that Jim did this to her stranding her on that ship for the rest of her life when you come to that yep it's pretty simple the decision is clear do the total wrong thing and open her pods stranding her on the ship forever or meet you needs halfway and leave her alone where she will wake up 90 years from now with unexplained white stains on the glass the ship has and Jim was able to find a workshop that had some gym equipment in it also this decision will require a rocky montage movie feels the need to have its main character tell me what he's doing even though I have the mental faculties to see and understand what he's doing the metaphor for what Jim is doing here is something he wouldn't mention in polite company I admit the decision makes sense and I can't say that if I were in the same position I wouldn't talk myself into doing something like this movie will go on to show that it was good that he did this but can we not be so results-oriented about the action before we even know what happens this is pretty goddamn wrong alternately what if this movie was from her perspective this is a horror movie where our fun-loving protagonist with star-lord and Owen Grady equity becomes the villain hard to see him as anything else once you do that there's the crew the crews in a secure hibernation room Jim doesn't answer this question until they're all the way to the hibernation room also why does the crew have to be in a secure room the bridge and the engine makes sense but what are they worried about happening to the crew while everyone is asleep seems like the only thing this ship prepared for was this love story between Aurora and Jim I'll walk you to your cabin after all there are a lot of ruffians about you never know we might be lurking around the corner and waking people out of hyper sleep early don't tell her Arthur by not simply lying to the robot and saying Aurora's pod serendipitously malfunction just the same as his Jim is creating a liability for himself how can there be no way to put someone back into hibernation what if a pod breaks down no hibernation pod is malfunctioned and thousands of interstellar flights so let's make sure we have no fail safes in place in case the impossible happens seriously it's pretty odd that a ship full of futuristic technology and tons of other fail-safes is so arrogant about a top-ten concern also I just realized this movie is Titanic and 2001 and wall-e all rolled into one also if each homestead voyage takes well over a hundred years and they have done thousands of flights to quote Palin Parrish what year is it I guess he forgot those times he went to the sushi place when the Mexican restaurant in order whatever he wanted why even go to the cafeteria anymore when you have all these great restaurants or do they have business hours space travel is lightyears ahead of where we are today but Roomba technology has remained mostly the same I've been awake for seven days it's excellent that Aurora favors speech-to-text as her way to write it allows us to hear her thoughts and gain an understanding of her mental and emotional state but despite that it's still narration and I just can't help myself why did you do it Aurora asked a question that nobody asks without context so the gym will think it means why did you open up my fucking pod Jeep do you know how much homestead company made off its first planet eight quadrillion dollars they discovered a planet that so closely resembled earth to the point that Earthlings could inhabit it what were the chances there was no other life there or was this colony planet discovered by Christopher Columbus the sixteenth icy zeros on the homestead company's bottom line for someone so pessimistic about the homestead company you'd think she didn't buy a ticket to travel on one of their planets chef accountant or midwife she has to be a midwife there's no way you didn't even without she's a midwife we'd be friends Jim just said she's a midwife right and Aurora is a famous writer from New York with an even more famous father let's be honest they would never know each other you don't even want to think about it anymore all right I call time how long did it take her to give up like two weeks who's the lovely lady this is Aurora Aurora special she's been up for a few weeks and this is the first time she's meeting Arthur she couldn't have found him on her own Jim ran into him on day one space the one thing I do not need more of wifeless laughter what about my dress yeah what about her dress this really asks the question what about his suit did he put that thing on while wearing his suit or did he undress in front of her ah the mysteries of editing this scene would be super romantic if it wasn't for that thing he did it's at this point I realized I'm watching a horror film disguised as a romantic comedy disguised as sci-fi so they started making out in their space suits stopped to take off their spacesuits Aurora found a robe on the way back to their room and then they started back up again the last two people in the world who would ever get together if I got together with Jennifer Lawrence which I'm not opposed to that statement may apply but Jim is an attractive dude so you two getting together is not that far-fetched attention you may wish to proceed to a viewing area considering that everyone is supposed to be asleep right now why would the ship make this announcement but this happened if Jim and Aurora didn't wake up is this announcement for the robots I have too many questions also why would a ship that has an engine that works in space and can travel at half the speed of light need to slingshot around a star speaking of half the speed of light are curious is a real star that is 36.7 light-years away from Earth and if they've been traveling for about thirty years at half the speed of light they would only be like 15 ish light-years away from Earth unless the Avalon's internal clock is just really done which is totally possible and they're 20 years further along than they think they are there's no way they would be able to slingshot around Arcturus because they're nowhere near it these robots have been programmed with French accents I will be right back I have nothing at all in particular to do I'm just going to the bathroom to look at a ring I already know I have I just need to be out of the room when Arthur drops a huge bomb on you about my pod tampering activities do ya yes I woke you up creeper is revealed as a creeper and yet that does not stop the movie in its tracks as it should yes I woke you up now imagine how powerful that would have been if we didn't know about it there was a way for this movie to do it but then we would have hated a Chris Pratt character instead of somehow feeling sorry for him just saying I don't feel sorry for him here even though the movie is trying its very best this movie is a classic case of when a mediocre script happens two great actors hey at least her Fitbit is still on and functioning so she knows how many steps she's taken since her space boyfriend woke her up right movie spent so much time on the boy gets girl boy loses girl a part of this movie I almost forgot the ship was falling apart guess this movie is going to become a sci-fi movie again for 20 minutes your sweets control center is rebooting I know it's deep into the movie now but I got asked this question the ship is taking these people to another planet where they sleep for a hundred twenty years during the trip so why did they set up the ship with all the amenities rec rooms cafeteria nice Suites and so on wouldn't have just woken up went through a quick recovery period and deported or was the plan to wake them up a year in advance let them enjoy the ship then drop them off on another planet because I don't see the reason either way I hope you finally find someone who fills your heart and I hope best friend from 30 years ago in a video message somehow says just the right words to turn Aurora slowly back to the direction of Jim copy please as Arthur always served coffee and they've just been going to the cafeteria for coffee for no reason this is dead so this ship which has experienced several power malfunctions randomly awakens one more person a crew member who can unlock doors Jim couldn't access before because this movie basically backed itself into a corner story wise and needed some serious Fishburne ex machina also it's pretty insane with all the different failures only two pods malfunction when switch Byrne is here to indicate the film has reinitiated sci-fi thriller mode is something wrong with the ship says the girl whose ex-boyfriend was awakened 90 years early and was just covered in cornflakes she knows she knows how long you all a year still damn I'm gonna remove a sin for Laurence Fishburne saying what I feel you're right Aurora but the drowning man will always try and drag somebody down with him so you see your aura you should shut the hell up and just put yourself in gym shoes for a change you selfish asshole this guy gets revived so that just before he dies Jim can take his keys and be the hero of the movie she's dead Jim so we're stranded on a sinking ship let's just hope this time there are enough lifeboats 612 612 how does someone have 612 disorders this guy apparently has every affliction ever diagnosed on house and why isn't this guy dead right now also I found another problem with the ship the full-body scanner is duplicating the disorders on this list even after being slammed onto the ground both Jim and Aurora maintained the ability to run down to engineering our heroes take time to power down Arthur while he malfunctions because that's super important right now can't we wake up some of the crew they'll take him too long to recover we don't have that kind of time instead of waking up crewmembers when Gus was still alive Jim Aurora and Gus decided they could fix the ship on their own and now when they seriously need some help it's too late to wake anyone up this giant engineering room they find a major problem in only the second place they visit both Jim Nora have arms that are stronger than the vacuum of space it's the reactor control computer it looks like this computer sustained a fair amount of damage from that meteor that hit two years ago but after the meteor hit all the ship errors went away except for the one on Jim spot is that because it was the only error that was important to the plot at the time as replacement parts for everything and there are replacement of hibernation pods outer door non-responsive oh so it's unresponsive that seems like plain simple language that an accomplished writer should understand I open the door I get clear you blow that fire into space so you see the movie engineered our finale by which two people needed to be awake to save the ship this means it was a good thing that Jim opened Aurora's pond because no one else would have woken up and Gus Mancuso would have died before he could help so the movie is now saying Jim's actions were justified because of this ending without you I guess almond knocking around she's been experiencing lately caused her to forget that Jim woke her up dooming her to a life of isolation and space death because he thought she was hot so touching the metal lever to open the hatch burns like hell but touching the metal counter where the lever lives doesn't burn it all got small heat shield allows Jim to survive this Jim survives this also wait was the engine off during that whole sequence how was there gravity inside the ship I started to think gravity has different more random properties in this corner of deep space that's probably true but in a much more transactional way than he probably means here he's dead Jim wait patient is dead I'm no computer doctor but I don't think you can resuscitate a dead person post mortem operations require authorized medical supervision Jim is dead and could be revived but poor Mancuso had to die because of his 612 disorders there's no way he remembered Mancuso's ID number also even though these computers know who everyone is they decide that Aurora's the type of person who looks like Morpheus and allowed the override well she resuscitated a dead person thank you be still why did you revive him first instead of painting him then reviving it there's anyone out attack why there were over 5,000 people on this ship and they don't have a second auto doc wouldn't a better reason be someone has to be outside to initiate it and from this day forward Aurora I never thought about the fact that Jim condemned her to a life where she would never see another human face and never breathe fresh air again even though we can see the planet the Avalon's engines are still running which leads me to believe that the ship might just fly right past homestead - if someone doesn't wake up and put on the brakes and if they're close enough to the planet to see it this size then why is the crew just now waking up also why did they hire Andy Garcia to show up at the end is the captain for two seconds how much did that cost all of this foliage was able to flourish for 88 years without a nearby Sun I'm just gonna bash your brains Kevin's log stardate twenty to fifty nine point 55 guess I am gonna die of old age on the ship just know that I will never forget you to help you recover from hibernation be sure to drink plenty of fluids I can no longer sit back and allow the International communist conspiracy to SAP and in purified I love our precious bodily fluids this is Tom he worked in the coal mine till they closed the town huh it's Alice came over here from Milan when she was a baby she lived in an earring most of her life huh in the end see she works in the dress shop makes noises like a chip look when she gets real excited did you know that the original name for pac-man was puck back yeah do you think it was because he looks like a hockey puck but it actually comes from the Japanese prints of Hatfield Haku which means to flash once past opening closed [Music] Aurora Borealis at this time of year at this time of day in this part of the country localized entirely within your kitchen

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Channel: CinemaSins

Views: 6,665,385

Rating: 4.7691016 out of 5

Keywords: cinemasins, cinema sins, everything wrong with, eww, review, movie, mistakes, passengers, chris pratt, jennifer lawrence

Id: jz_gA1IjDW4

Channel Id: undefined

Length: 17min 5sec (1025 seconds)

Published: Thu May 04 2017

Reddit Comments

I really wish I liked this movie more. The concept and the acting are good but it just has this...creepy vibe about it, you know?

👍︎︎ 31 👤︎︎ u/ROBOT_B9 📅︎︎ May 04 2017 🗫︎ replies

No Rogue One on May 4th?

👍︎︎ 14 👤︎︎ u/FlightOfTheShortGuy 📅︎︎ May 04 2017 🗫︎ replies