Everything Wrong With CinemaSins: Black Adam

[Music] if you haven't seen the previous video in this series follow the link on your screen or click the link in the description or pin comment below [Music] my nose that's got me there was conduct I see this movie went to the thinnest skardashian School of ancient kernel of truth but overwhelmingly fake places don't you think that's an odd criticism I mean it's okay that some of DC's movies are set in the clearly made up Metropolis in Gotham City but this one is too ridiculous you don't find that to be anglo-centric it's not even as difficult to say as the mascara which was a real place so I'm pulling the racist card Upton's real gold to forge the crown of sabach you would be forgiven for thinking this is a sequel and the movie is just catching you up to speed on the previous film but nope this is just an insane wall of narration flashbackation assaulting you in the first two minutes and how do you expect movies to deliver information to the audience chair because you hate narration you can't stand Exposition but you also get pissy when you don't know something do you expect them to spray information in the air and you walk into it like your grandmother does perfume to make the crown he needed to turn him but to get eternium he needed to locate an obtainium an element only found in the Seas of your mother Junction near tickle lick my tank Jeremy gets upset at element naming conventions 77 of the 118 known elements in this way 78 if you're British why do we make fun of fiction mirroring reality isn't that what you YouTube [ __ ] want it you guys are living in an oppressive regime in what world do you think this guy is getting rewarded let's ask Muslims all right right okay I think that answers that this kid steals the eternium from the dude who just killed the guy who brought it to him then he runs over to the Quarry and holds the eternium up at some sort of Victory formation somehow all the miners down on the ground know what that means and start cheering like they just heard the five tones of the ship from Close Encounters that symbol is very clearly something that is part of the culture of conduct it would be like questioning why we use the middle finger for Fu today or the lesbian sign of friendship if you're British the Council of wizards magical Guardians of the Earth lost over [Music] see when the movie doesn't expose it this fool sends the movie for not going into further detail boy into a champion but the crown had already been completed [ __ ] what how the [ __ ] did the crown get completed in that time we were told that the king needed to turn him to complete the crown and they just found it a minute ago how much [ __ ] time passed because it feels like it was a minute or two and not forged a crown infused with sick Demons of the ancient world amount of time and now you're being dishonest because we know you've already seen this movie and are pretending to not have information you definitely do the beginning of this movie is a fake out the young boy is not teth Adam his father is the boy becomes Shazam and goes on to fight the king's forces many times but by the time teth Adam receives the powers of Shazam the crown had been completed this Revelation is the twist of the film it took way longer than you're pretending it did it means showing battle the palace was destroyed but the champion was Victorious sounds like a hell of a battle too bad we didn't see any of it because the movie thinks the surprise is more important in this case than telling the story and there you have it folks Jeremy is clearly aware there is a surprise but literally just pretended to not know the time frame in which the crown was completed to get this occupied by International mercenaries are you hot damn I feel like Tim Allen in the limo in Galaxy Quest I'm gonna just shut my eyes but I promise I'm still listening to everything you say and then Black Adam continues in the 5 million the text here says enter dang checkpoint Sector 5 north shiruta and even after nearly seven minutes of foie gras levels of force-feeding exposition I still have no idea what any of this means this text might as well read celibate Warehouse region milk North feelings intergang is a mercenary group that in the comics was some of darkseid's people sharuda is clearly a town name Come On Son they taught us place names in first grade also when the perimeter guard hits this kid the kid goes to the ground the skateboard takes a bit of a tumble and is that a [ __ ] gun whose gun is it nobody even addresses it I guess guns are so common they're like tumbleweeds love it stuff like this is why CinemaSins can be valuable totally missed that one in the theater it's got wheels it's a vehicle back their long night considering skateboards cars no he said vehicle skateboards are Vehicles a vehicle is an object used for transportation a car is a motor vehicle so wait is the guard getting a notice about Adriana right now or is he just reminding himself who he's looking for I feel like the scene would be 100 times better if he gets this notification before the vehicle inspection and we see Adriana hiding in the car while it's stopped at the checkpoint but because surprises once again beat out actual storytelling we get an image of a woman we haven't even met yet followed by the reveal that she was in the car the whole time and that's supposed to hit my movie watching G-spot I bet you do feel like it would be better that way considering that would be like every movie ever you know the things you complain about so much you call them cliches with nothing happening movie resorts to showing us people sleeping which is what we were doing if you saw this in the theater are you talking to the critics or the audience because somehow I doubt critics take you serious are you sure about this the inscriptions we found that clear so wait the Wizards hid the crown so that no one could find it but left inscriptions that give people an idea of where to find it this movie is like a dumber Sonic the Hedgehog 2 or a smarter Batman v Superman hat men were given the gift of magic why did you start reading in the middle of the wall when there is etched writing all around above and before what you were reading she gave you a real-life teal deer and you're complaining the slave who became champion and defeated the king the legend was true just because someone etched a thing in a stone doesn't mean it was true haven't you ever read the Bible you cut out the context of the conversation the part she is referring to is that teth Adam was buried in this tomb even if he didn't really have powers there is someone with that name here oh great a superhero who already seems way too strong from the very start Superman on sterox also the movie rips off the shower of bullet scene from Superman Returns so Jeremy watched a scene of a comic book character no selling bullets and comes to the conclusion that he's too strong in case you haven't noticed almost no superhero is affected by bullets Spider-Man Dodges them Wolverine heals from them Wonder Woman blocks them so her titties don't jiggle this is as common as sand on a beach how is this Superman on steroids he is also unaffected by bullets as The Rock destroys all the fools one by one I have to ask why he's doing it one by one given what we see him do later given that he thought they were performing magic when they were shooting him I think it's safe to assume he was assessing the abilities of these mercs by taking them on one by one when he later finds out they're no different than the humans he battled in the past he resorts to Frying them easily Black Adam uses his lightning power to create a tunnel so that he can get out of here here but didn't he just fly out of the opening at the top of this mountain to kill a bunch of bad guys why the [ __ ] did he need to do this citizens really gets off by lying to the public there is no opening there big enough for Adam to fly out without making another hole there were mercs posted at the top of the structure they showed us the ceiling when Adam appeared the section where Rock slowly flies through all the military Mayhem and deflects all Munitions to threaten him personally that reminds me how much influence a single star can have over a film and how bad that often ends up working out for the average viewer but it is how Black Adam should be depicted though like what do you expect humans to be a match for Black Adam he's a Superman level character hell he has better Superman moments than soups did in Man of Steel so did Fiora so it's not saying much but still oh so we're about to find out that eternium can hurt Black Adam so it's basically Kryptonite the question now becomes why didn't this Army have more eternium weapons and are only just using them at the very end of the battle when nearly all of them are dead probably because as they just showed you at the beginning of the movie eternium is a rare element that is only found in one place besides they had zero idea Adam would be resurrected In This Moment how do you think it's possible to prepare for something you didn't know was coming especially by using an invaluable resource that isn't necessary 99 times out of 100. I told you to make it look real not to punch me in the face why did Ishmael need to bring all the mercenaries in as soon as Adriana secured the crown he could have shot her immediately and taken off with it for the scriptwriters The Mercenaries were brought in so that Adriana would be held at gunpoint and say the words to summon Black Adam and we know Ishmael needs Black Adam for his plan but there's no way he knew that would happen you see how Jeremy admits they didn't know Black Adam would be resurrected but in the previous sin still asked why didn't they prepare more weapons for an enemy they didn't know about takes magic to fight magic and the man's got nearly god-level Powers as we hear this said about Kent we see Kent we have his hand and a gold helmet appears and that does not say God level powers to me personally well considering Christians believes all it takes to prove you're a God is to be really good at rationing fish I think it's safe to say materializing things out of thin air is a god-level power are you sure they can take him Waller you find us a cell that can hold them we'll take care of the rest except you can't and you won't Black Adam as built by this very movie is too powerful for you to capture and too strong for any cell to hold him this movie is just over two hours and it's because of [ __ ] stupid ass dialogue like this he says after just watching Adam being hurt by eternium I mean you send Shazam you know damn well all they have to do is make him say the word and put him under water or something I don't know just a hunch I gotta be honest here I'm only barely aware of Hawkman as a character and I'm certainly not ready to just accept that he has a mansion five times cooler than Professor X does then maybe you should have left this sin in the drafts because it's not great to talk about that which you do not know and I wouldn't say five times cooler I mean Xavier's School houses powerful superhumans and Jennifer Lawrence who I just saw fully naked in a movie and let me tell you a win's a win is this entirely made out of infant metal everything down to the screws so and metal is not a thing is it shorthand for tournament last forever because this is the equivalent of asking our batarangs a thing for Batman enth metal is hawkman's cling to fame dude it takes a lot of energy to smash atoms this movie is called Black Adam and we know more about these chodes than him at this point literal false statements I grow you know like Ant-Man and Captain America Civil War but it's completely unique and unheard of so how about giving me those digits it's not exactly fair to send DC movies for characters having abilities similar to Marvel characters you have to remember a lot of the writers wrote for both companies and there are only so many superpowers you can come up with what matters is how well those stories that feature those characters are told and DC is up there with the best of them guy who was definitely over 6 feet tall in a child's bed to recover from his injuries I'm not exactly sure what mentioning Dwayne's height means in this context the bed is clearly long enough to fit his entire six foot two frame he'd have more space if the pillows were gone so when you say child's bed you're making a reference to the bed's width which again makes no sense when talking about his height because twin beds have the same length as kings why the [ __ ] did Black Adam decide to sit down on this kid's bed and chat with him a bit well if you didn't cut out the entire scene of Adam discovering the conduct he knew was gone thereby needing to be brought up to speed on the last 5 000 years you'd know why this [ __ ] has a copy of three ninjas and [ __ ] left behind in his VHS collection and somehow this guy with terrible taste also has Casablanca three ninjas is the goddamn National Treasure take these 10 hayas prove your strength destroy your enemy and all he cares about are you unaware of the concept of people being enslaved or oppressed by a stronger power I know you aren't because you're either the kid we saw gets the powers at the beginning of the movie or you're someone so it was part of that Society back in the day why do you think these people can take care of their own problems as he explained earlier he's not a hero he took on the powers of Shazam and used them for Revenge Black Adam is an anti-villain you definitely need a catchphrase suddenly blackout badass to say right before you absolutely cooked some dude oh so I guess this movie is like a remake of T2 with this kid playing John Connor teaching the Terminator how to say stop baby and sure let's go with that what's the problem hell I've been saying the rock is this generation's Arnold both incredibly jacked Action Hero stars that are in a variety of films ranging from Comedy to drama to science fiction one like cigars the other likes tequila they're basically the same person as what I'm saying my point is you could be fair ings or be rich now you're aware this story takes place in the Middle East right I mean this with all due respect but certain parts of the Middle East look like you used a time machine I'm not at all surprised some people in this nation use lunch boxes still you've seen as many different Futures as I have you cease to believe in absolutes I guess the part of DC's Doctor Strange will be played by Pierce Brosnan in this movie and look I know Dr Fate predates Doctor Strange the point is not who came first but how tired I am of all these characters from two large comic book universes that overlap so much I can't get excited about any of them anymore okay should DC just not use their characters because Marvel has similar ones in movies too if you're so hung up on this why didn't you praise the appearance of cyclone who is relatively unique power set wise bad plan is better than no plan at all actually this is patently false no plan at all is how we get the David Tyree Super Bowl catch if that lucky ass [ __ ] from Tyree is no plan at all then I'm agreeing with Hawkman that [ __ ] ruined a perfect season [ __ ] you and [ __ ] the Giants like Kent is literally possessed when you put sit on is this supposed to be a Black Adam movie or a new Suicide Squad disguised as a just a society film this is like watching that Batman assault on Arkham movie all over again no it's not this kid steals a military radio and sends a false message and then gets chased around the city by inept [ __ ] and this is Aladdin only updated a bit for Technology's sake Gotta Stay One Jump Ahead of the narcos one Leap ahead of the badge these guys don't appreciate I'm wrath Aladdin because he's Middle Eastern that's racist also Jeremy sings in a video cliche there's no way Adriana caught up in time to stop her kid from being slapped in the face did you see all the skateboarding he did to get here what was she doing to keep the pace I don't know probably Road here on her tiger David Duke well it's cool that Black Adam is stopping all these bullets with his hand why bother you could stop them with this dick if he wanted Jeremy wants to see The Rock's [ __ ] when I see some DC characters don't give a [ __ ] about fighting in the streets even after man of steals horse didn't Hawkman just save two awful bad guys from falling to their deaths a minute ago talking about due process now he's just gonna put into some people in danger because the movie needs a fight scene the hell do you expect him to do exactly Adam is doing what he wants where he wants how do you force a God to do what you want him to do prayer that [ __ ] doesn't work this guy I barely understand unleashes an attack I barely understand that somehow causes massive pain to the rock that I barely understand it's an action scene what is there to understand fate hit him with an attack it hurts the end running on someone's balls Jeremy has not tasted the sweet nectar of having a [ __ ] run on his balls only for the cream of society I guess we have been living under military occupation for 27 years and never seen you before this might hit a bit harder if the movie leaned into it instead of only paying it lip service you mean the entire concept of Black Adam a character whose only goal is the preservation of conduct I like how you just never know what you're talking about it's almost Charming I am so sorry was that expensive this Atom Smasher basing his entire personality on Tom Hall and Spider-Man is 65 of this video just references to the MCU thing running from Black Adam uses alien Nos and that has to be a nod to The Rock's appearance in the rundown this is one of those sins to remind you that CinemaSins tells jokes and sometimes they're wrong on purpose which is sinful because it gives the idiots that come here to talk [ __ ] more ammo oh and up to what you do you're not fooling anybody here well the win thing is called aerokinesis and the Nanobots were injected into my bloodstream by this really messed up scientist who kidnapped me when I was 15. Jesus I mean damn anyway so the Nanobots inside Cyclone that turn her into wind can also take care of bullet wounds and save Adriana's brother amazing that the evil scientist injected you with the multi-purpose Nanobots that can do anything a script tells them to do or because she's a genius she found a way to repurpose her curse I mean this is nanotech we're talking about they've always done everything the hell do you think Iron Man's last suit was suppose they didn't have doors in your day well of course we did that's how we entered rooms God damn it why does he it's called a joke that's that thing your Fanboys claim you are unaware of the irony Heroes don't kill people well I do [Music] instead of a fight old jair wants to watch these two bone and that's not the sin the sin is that Jeremy has some explaining to do to his wife and you you will work together Adam and Hawkman end up working together because they get Mom shamed have you ever heard a mom they can even scare bears get down from there get down get down from there right now go go go go go you get down from my porch right now go go what do you think you're doing on my porch you get down go go how dare you there's still that's huge earlier you were telling the comic relief dude that he wasn't going to die today but by electricity but you didn't tell him he could change the future in fact you acted like it was set in stone and that's another blatant lie when he asked fate how he would die he told him to stay away from electricity that is literally him saying he can change his future the root was the true champion of conduct and he was also my son would be better now does this make all the difference I mean it does add a layer of complexity to the story and it was something most people didn't see coming outside of those people that knew Graves was Grindelwald that I keep hearing about look at this whatever power why would the Wizards create a champion who could just give his powers to anyone he pleased I thought there was a vetting process involved and why would you just be able to do this by saying one word you gotta love how Jeremy pretends he's never seen this ability and that it was established in this universe already who sent the Shazam video Jer an alternate version of you from a different Universe because that would be stupid I will speak the word my son gave me and I will give up my power and when I do you must ensure I never speak it again the ease at which this power can be relinquished and summoned is really dumb why would you be able to call it back whenever you want once you give it up dude this is a comic book character and those are the rules as presented in those books Yasin Shazam why are you acting like this is the first time you've encountered this concept the disbelief was already suspended you can't unsuspend don't black sight and secret location basically mean the same thing not in porn as the plane rapidly knows dies into the water Dr Fate seems startled but no one seems bothered by basic gravity which would slam all of them forward suddenly perhaps into the windshield even that is not gravity that is momentum get your physical laws straight buddy we all know how to deal with him keep him from regaining his powers he'll keep him in suspended animation and he'll be in a state of bliss and keep my mind from the circling Sky tongue tied and twisted Earth bound Misfit you know what these sins are for and I'm doubling them because that [ __ ] was terrible to The Rock do they smell what The Rock is cooking foreign [Laughter] what did you say the readout told you that this was the demon that has never ever showed his face in the history of man until now the readout you're telling me a computer got a data points from a satellite and spat out a readout that said sure that's the goddamn demon spot s agreed gotta love how just because this ship is made of metal or whatever the [ __ ] that it can withstand a firepowered by what is supposedly six demons in one synth metal is an incredibly powerful material that comes from hawkman's planet it's an advanced form of technology that can do a lot of cool [ __ ] I mean look at this list the world doesn't always need a white knight sometimes it needs something darker if only DC you had this kind of night that is dark to play with anything to have something there it's kind of their thing DC always plays around with these Concepts and somehow it always leads back to [ __ ] Batman I mean have you read Blackest Night Brightest Day whose idea was it to give Batman a power ring DC Comics glad Black Adam talked himself into Awakening for the big finale but where did the [ __ ] Cape come from he can control his appearance the first suit was due to rage the new suit is him learning how to protect his fellow kandakians Heroes wear capes word to Edna Mode let the fate of Scandal be decided by the true battle of Champions Hal has a more intimidating voice than this demon even if I make him talk backwards oh my God I do have to ding DC here for copying the MCU with the same versus same finale battle situation wait till he finds out Black Adam is a Shazam antagonist [Music] wait wait wait didn't you already use that theme for the Moana video that you showed me on the stone thingy yep and I got a copyright claim for all my troubles it's like splur why would you use that theme for Moana what it was like an island so I used the tribal theme it made total sense at the time well hopefully the young guy figured it out we shall see with flowers [Music] [Music]

Channel: Th3Birdman

Views: 80,805

Keywords: Movie review, Review, Everything Wrong With Everything Wrong With, CinemaSins, Cinema Sins, CinemaSins Sins, Cinema Sins sins, Th3Birdman, Th3 Birdman, Birdman, Th3Birdman CinemaSins, the birdman, thebirdman

Id: _uNx_QW8njc

Length: 23min 27sec (1407 seconds)

Published: Wed Jul 26 2023