Everyone Knows Christopher Columbus Was a B*tch: Week In Review | The Amber Ruffin Show

[Music] you guys it's been a crazy week in america let's find out what happened the department of labor announced this week that 4.3 million americans quit their jobs in august still waiting on just one more the head coach of the las vegas raiders quit this week when it was revealed that he sent a racially disparaging email even though gmail tried to stop him it was really racist it was so racist gmail detected it they were like oh they detected it wait a minute these aren't typos you sure you want to it and he clicked send anyway send this send this to my buddy i mean if nothing else that is brave yeah it was recently revealed that pablo picasso's painting the blind man's meal is hiding a nude portrait of a woman underneath also hiding a nude portrait of a woman underneath every teenager's mattress now before phones right if you wanted to see a naked yes you had to go to a gas station and buy a naked magazine you know you had to have that friend or that friend's uncle yeah but it was one designated friend it wasn't all the friends you can't all get the nudie magazine yeah columbus day was this week and it is just crazy that we still celebrate columbus because everybody knows columbus was a [ __ ] [Applause] [Music] columbus sailed the ocean blue his dumb ass got lost in 1492. we still celebrate him though we know what he did enslaved and killed people women and kids columbus was a [ __ ] [Applause] [Music] he's an ugly little dude that we celebrate even though he was a murderer and full of hate columbus is garbage let's throw him away and celebrate indigenous people's day columbus was a [ __ ] columbus was a [ __ ] new york's mta recently started testing a new design for its subway map and we have an advanced copy that is very accurate leave me alone quite bothering me by trains yeah i don't know well you don't know where we're going you figure it out you hop on or stay up welcome to new york former race car driver danica patrick competed this week in the boston marathon and obviously she won that's not a pair should have stopped her it should have stopped her but the car has a number car has a number the car's registered i'm gonna beat that car it was recently reported that a teenage girl in china lied about her gender in an effort to join a boy band learn more about it in mulan four the streets [Applause] would watch the butt off of that yes i would watch that would have a a party look the the [Laughter] it's a good show yeah and finally wildlife officials in colorado recently freed an elk from a tire that had been around its neck for two years said the elk somebody stole my chain and that was the monologue did you like the monologue [Applause] the weather is cooling down and the leaves are changing which means it's officially fall it's also the start of another season that you have probably heard of cuffing season when singles try to get booed up before winter now you might be wondering what effects covet is having on the dating scene during such a crucial time well i personally don't know much about it so to find out let's go to our resident single person corinne wells [Music] thanks amber i'm karen wells reporting live from these streets and out here it's cuffing season the time of year when you scroll through hinge to find that perfect person to keep you warm when you're too cheap to turn on the heat but some people may feel reluctant to date during a pandemic which is why i've gathered some helpful tips on how to cuff in covid tip number one don't what do not do it cuffing season is a myth like the male orgasm i've never seen one no one should participate in cuffing season any more why not isn't dating fun i thought people would be excited to get back out there fun sure fun in the same way musical chairs is fun but imagine all the chairs have been peed on except for one and that chair voted for trump besides cuffing season coming during covet season is dangerous because of the risk of spreading the virus no because it's a trap which brings me to tip number two run it's a trap remember those dweebs who cuffed in fall of 2019 expecting to end it in late march of 2020 well they quarantined together and now they live in a tiny house in central jersey with their newborn son named breth it's a conspiracy maybe they were in love love love cuffs aren't supposed to last that is a hard and fast rule like no white folks after labor day that is not the phrase corrine it's no white after labor day and it means white clothes hmm i i don't think that's correct but you know what is correct tip number three just date people in your head i mean look at me in my head i'm dating chris evans corinne have you even met chris evans nope we've never spoken which means we've never been in a fight which means it's the best relationship i've ever had yeah because it's not real it's real to me look if you're single during cuffing season that is okay there is nothing wrong with that and if you get lonely just get a gravity blanket gravity blanket feel suffocated by a blanket instead of a human now with all of that said my dms are open korean get out of here this is corinne wells reporting from d streets [Music] in more serious news former facebook data scientist francis haugen recently testified before a senate subcommittee she shared many internal company secrets revealing that facebook knowingly engages in unethical practices these revelations have sent shockwaves throughout the country when asked about facebook's secretive nature haugen said that it results in more division more harm more lies more threats and more combat and this shocked a lot of americans yet for even more of us the reaction was [Music] da da da doy doy doy girl who didn't know that frickin door door door you're saying something we already knew but francis haugen wasn't done she also said facebook when confronted with a conflict of issue between its profits and the common good consistently chose to prioritize its profits again some people were shocked to find that out but some of us were all like [Music] dipping [Applause] do it do it do it don't adore it she went on to drop even more bombs like saying in some cases this dangerous online talk has led to actual violence that harms and even kills people oh whoa that's heavy yeah it is wow yeah wow [Music] i didn't i'm talking do it [Music] you

Channel: The Amber Ruffin Show

Views: 148,182

Keywords: amber ruffin, the amber ruffin show, amber ruffin show, amber ruffin peacock

Id: mQ55Wqh6Qd4

Length: 10min 52sec (652 seconds)

Published: Sat Oct 16 2021