Everyday Apologetics: The Spiritual Discipline of Conversation

okay well can I just echo Abdul zijn courage Minh so encouraged by you guys for so many reasons yes that you're here but also the spirit that I sense in you your understanding of apologetics your desire not to in any way divorce it from evangelism I think about Paul making his defense in front of King Agrippa and after he's made his defence literally his apologetic King Agrippa's response is do you think you can so easily make me a Christian alright he understood that apologetics in evangelism biblically they go hand in hand this is not just for the sake of intellectual exercises it's not just theory but it's all pointing towards the person that we deeply longed for people to know and the fullness of life that only he offers for people I also appreciate that I don't feel with you guys I love the fact that we're worshipping musically in the context of this conference sometimes you go to apologetic conference and it's like okay we did the worship thing we did the Holy Spirit thing you know normally but now today we're just gonna do you know the thinking thing as if they're in some way disconnected I love the sense of unity between the various ways that the Holy Spirit works in our mind you know as Christians were called to be transformed by the renewing of our minds right that's part of the Holy Spirit's work within us if you have a question that comes to mind for a friend or you have an idea or a thought or an argument about God that is just as much a gift of the Holy Spirit as if you're worshiping in song and you sense God's presence in a deep and meaningful way if you're you know in the shower and an idea just comes to you something you could talk to a friend about or an argument about God a piece of reason that you could express to a friend I mean that's just a gift of grace you didn't do anything to think of that you didn't earn that thought you didn't merit it you didn't deserve it you were just taking a shower and all of a sudden this thought just popped in your head that's that can be by God's Spirit that's a gift of grace I just appreciate the way this congregation and the various congregations here seems to be holding all of these things together the sovereignty of the Holy Spirit over the entirety of our lives yes our emotions yes our actions but also our thinking as well it's not in any way a separate thing it's all in the context of our holistic worship and it's just a most beautiful privilege when you do have the opportunity to maybe just remove an obstacle in someone's life and give God that clear path to speak directly to someone's heart that would be my prayer for each one of you that you would have that opportunity I think of one of the people that we saw come to faith recently he journeyed with us for a week of events asking his questions wrestling through his questions struggling in the context of community and getting to know the Christian community on his campus on the Friday of that week he was ready to put his trust in Jesus he bowed his head he prayed that beautiful raw new prayer of a new believer and when he opened his eyes these were the very first words that he spoke as a Christian he said I have always felt alone and like I had to wear a mask but now this is the first time in my life that I can take off that mask and be fully myself and fully alive that is why we're here today only Jesus can do that and any arguments any reasons any thoughts that were trusting God with all of that is pointing towards that right there when someone can enter into relationship with Jesus and be with him for all eternity so I want to talk very practically in this session we're gonna get very very practical I'm gonna hone in on something that God has been honing in on in my own life over the last five seven years or so and that is the art of conversation we're gonna talk about conversation what does it look like for us to have good meaningful biblical conversations and I want to focus on conversation sort of more generally because all of the stuff we've been talking about you know the great stuff about science the great stuff about culture the great stuff about suffering it does mean that much if we don't actually wind up in conversations that begin to hone in on the questions about who Jesus is and the objections that people might have I also want to focus in on this idea of conversation because I think that for almost all of us we will be more influential in people's lives through our conversation then through our say preaching or up front speaking or Bible study leading maybe that's a risky thing to say with plenty of leaders in this room but I think it's probably true arguably I think it might even have been true for Jesus if you read through any of the Gospels and keep your eye out for it you'll see that Jesus spent a lot of time just having conversations with people and it's actually not easy to say whether Jesus was more impactful through his up front speaking ministry or whether through his conversational ministry here's a third reason I want to focus in on conversation I want to spend time on this what I'll take to be a spiritual discipline of conversation because I think we tend to spend almost no time on this if you're a Christian do you know your Bible better today than you did a few years ago I hope that most people answer that question with a yes if you're someone who preaches or a Bible study leader are you better at preaching or a Bible study reading than you were five years ago again I hope the answer would be yes if you're a parent are you better at parenting if you're a leader in your workplace are you better in that capacity than you were five years ago again I hope that people would answer in the affirmative but then if I ask you are you a better conversationalist than you were five years ago I find that most people find that a much more difficult question to answer in the affirmative the problem is that I don't think we take conversation seriously enough as an aspect of Christian discipleship and as a spiritual discipline there's a scene from Pride and Prejudice yes Joe made me watch it sixteen times and mr. Darcy says I have not that talent with some possess of conversing easily with strangers to which Elizabeth gives this great response I do not play the piano so well as I should wish to but I have always opposed that to be my fault because I would not take the trouble of practicing if someone's not a good conversationalist we tend not to see that as a spiritual weakness we tend to just see it as an unfortunate maybe even endearing part of the person's personality we don't see that as something that we could maybe actually work hard to change and to get better at you know if I stood up and preached a terrible sermon that would weigh on me and rightfully so if I let an obscenity fly in a moment of anger I would be frustrated with myself but if I had an uncreated uninspiring literally put you to sleep conversation with you I usually don't think twice about that I think that's a serious error in character formation Jesus was the greatest conversationalist of all time and I think he left a model for us that we should aspire to now you actually find much more advice about the art of conversation in secular sources than in Christian sources because we don't tend to take it so seriously in the Christian Church and the main piece of advice in these secular sources it's centers around being prepared here's one example here's a quotation from a secular source about conversation do research before any situation where you'll be talking to people if you're going to a party for example asked the host about the guests backgrounds and interests uncover some interesting topics for small talk we read the newspaper watch television surf the internet and flip through books and magazines to come up with conversation starters and tidbits to discuss now what should we make of that advice now it might initially strike us as pretty suspect we think that there's something fake or prescriptive about this idea of actually being prepared for conversation that in some way that's disingenuous or that it lacks integrity I think that could be true but I also want to question that somewhat I want to ask if that is necessarily and always the case it certainly can be a reasonable concern in some circumstances but I wonder if as the church we've overreacted to the other extreme preparation research study these are generally good things most of us have put in long and hard hours of research and study for all sorts of things exams that we've prepared for sermons that we've preached or Bible studies that we've led sports that we play or sports that we follow business projects deciding on a college buying a home planning a vacation why do we do so much research and some what's preparation for these things well because we care about the end result and we care about the people who will be impacted by the end result well then why shouldn't our most disciplined and our most extensive study be of people and of conversations and for conversations with them I realized a while back that I can tell you the batting average of every player on the New York Yankees at any point during the season to one tenth of a percent as well as all sorts of other random facts about their lives and yet I often can't remember the names of my good friend siblings that's pretty pathetic why is it okay for us to do so much research and study about entertainment celebrities or sports personalities that we'll never meet but we feel that we can't put in some of that hard work in preparation with the people that we actually know and care about now oddly we don't think it's weird to plan for an interaction with someone if it's their birthday or if it's a special occasion maybe if you're taking someone on a date we praise that sort of preparation why because it shows people that we value them but then why should that be different with normal conversation why should we restrict that sort of intentionality and valuing of the person only to the special occasions if I know I'm going to see someone tonight who I know why shouldn't I take the time to pray and ask God for a good question that he might have me ask them or why shouldn't I pray and ask God for a good answer to the question that I know they always ask me as soon as they see me I don't see anything necessarily artificial or disingenuous about that it just means I care enough to give that person a real question or to give them a real answer to their question rather than just the first thing that happens to jump into my mind on the spot I wouldn't do that with my speaking what if I just got up here and just started rambling about the first thing that came to mind and no that's not what I'm doing if I did that I would be out of a job pretty quickly and likewise we would never just wing an important presentation at school or an important business proposal so then why do we almost always just wing conversation don't get me wrong conversation has to be spontaneous of course conversation is not gonna go as you planned and you need to just be there in the moment but we don't need to restrict God in one way or the other God can he's sovereign he can give me a great question to ask a person three days before I see them he can give me a great question to ask someone right there in the middle of our conversation as we're speaking what I'm saying is don't limit God let's trust that by his spirit he can work in the context of our relationships all the ways through them I'd like to share with you a few pieces of advice for investing more intentionally in conversation it'll be eight pieces of advice each one is short but these are pieces of advice that have made each one of them a very significant difference in my own life in terms of the depth and the frequency of the meaningful conversations that i find myself in and therefore of the opportunities that i have to have conversations that eventually focus in on the person of jesus and ultimately hopefully to a situation like that guy tom saying that he's ready to take off that mask and surrender his life to christ eight pieces of advice i'll jump into the first one the first main thing i want to stress is to be multilingual not just in terms of literal languages though if you have that gift that's wonderful but in terms of being able to speak competently to the things that the people that you love are interested in and care about let me give you one example of this in my life my dad is a big New York Yankees fan and I've inherited that feel free to boo now I won't be offended that's that's understandable and about a decade ago I had become a Christian and and then I had gone off to England and it was hard from my parents at the time I wasn't mature enough to really appreciate the fact that it would have been legitimately difficult but my parents sent me as the oldest son and also the oldest cousin in the family off to college neither of my parents had gone to college so this was a really new experience for the family and for the extended family and they send me off to the college having grown up in this sort of italian-american culturally Catholic background but not church-going not practicing and then I come back after my at the end of my first year of of college and I'm saying I'm a Christian now and they're saying what do you mean you're a Christian of course you're a Christian we're Italian Americans from New Jersey therefore were Catholic therefore were Christian and we were missing each other and and it was difficult and and at first I couldn't appreciate why now in retrospect looking back Oh 18 years later I can see that it would have been difficult you know my parents they sent one son off to college and in a very real sense they got a different son back you know nine months later they sent someone off to college whom for all of his flaws they loved and they saw the world through the same lens we understood each other and then this new person comes back and I'm saying in my parents well can't we all just be happy I'm treating you better as my parents I'm treating my brother better can't we just be happy about this and I think they were in their mind saying well we don't care if you're better or worse you're simply not our son you're not the son we sent off to college we got a different son back we don't care if he's better or worse we just want the son that we sent off to college and that we love and I think now I can appreciate that more than I could at the time I think there was also this sense of an implicit criticism I didn't intend it but there was this implicit criticism of now you're saying this is the most important thing in life and we didn't teach it to you so there's sort of implicit criticism of the parenting and then there was a third thing going on as well which again I wasn't mature enough to recognize at the time but I think for both my parents but especially for my dad especially as an italian-american father there probably for many fathers but his role as father figure was very close to his identity and now all of a sudden Vince had this spiritual father figure this invisible father figure who he was going to first for advice and for wisdom and to understand who he is at what life is about and I think my dad felt a sort of infringement on his own turf we had to work through all of this you know we started with the evinces in a cult phase and then and then thankfully we moved from there it doesn't seem like it's a cult but hopefully it's just a phase okay actually it doesn't look like it's a phase it looks like this is gonna stick so I guess we should come to understand it even if it's not for us to then okay actually we accept this about Vince we've come to know who he is now we see that this is a positive thing in his life and then eventually to actual interest and 13 14 years down this journey putting their own trust in Jesus Christ and us being able to worship together as a family but if I look over that 13 14 year period any two successive years if you asked me on the same date between two of those years are we seeing progress I couldn't see it it was so gradual and so slow that from one year to the next man the frustration of just feeling like you weren't getting anywhere and yet God was very faithfully on this very slow trajectory building the foundation that they needed planting seeds and allowing those roots to grow deep so that when they did make that decision it would be one that would be firm and lasting I hope that maybe is an encouragement that's sort of an aside but I hope maybe that's an encouragement to anyone who's longing to see God work in the lives of people that you love and it just seems like the progress is too slow so this is the situation that we were in now going back to where I've gone over to England my parents are dealing with all of this stuff not knowing how to even comprehend what I had experienced or who I was now and now I'm thousands of miles away in England and I'm struggling on the phone when I'm on the phone with my parents and especially my dad to connect and to know what should we talk about how do we just develop the relationship again and here's what I sensed God asking me to do not what I expected I sensed God asking me to start watching baseball I had always been a sports fan but I had never been somebody who watched baseball and I since God asking me to learn the language of a New York Yankees fan because that's what my dad was and that was something that my dad cared about not the most meaningful thing in the world not an explicitly spiritual thing but something that he cared about that I could connect with and so I started watching games regularly within weeks I was a bigger fan then my dad was I think it's just a gift from God that he gave me and then we had something to talk about literally every day of the year 162 games in the regular season not including the playoffs which the Yankees are just about always in and then all the offseasons stuff we had something to talk about and in fact if you asked me today you know what was the most significant thing insofar as God allowed you to be involved in any way in your dad's coming to faith what was the most significant thing and it wasn't when I you know figured out how to more clearly and compellingly explain the gospel to him I really think it was that I started watching baseball and so I think sometimes that is the starting point we follow the example of our God who knew that the best way even though it took a great sacrifice the best way for him to communicate the gospel to us was to come and literally speak our language to come down and literally speak human language what would it look like for us to learn to speak the language of the specific people God is calling us to a question for all of us is there someone you feel called to relationship with and to share God with whom you are struggling to connect with wonder if someone comes to mind if they do maybe you just write that name down in your notes and then another question what are they interested in what do they enjoy what do they care about what could you do to be competent in speaking the languages of the people that you care about most and then you desire to share the faith with be multilingual second piece of advice is to be goal setters when I fly home to see my family in New Jersey a lot of my extended family still non-christian I fly home with one specific concrete goal for conversation for each member of my family that I'm gonna see it can be very simple it could be a single question that I'm going to ask them it could be a single way that I think I might respond to the question that they always asked me it could be something specific that I think God wants me to talk to them about it could be asking for forgiveness from them and modeling that for something that I've done wrong in relation to them I take some time before the trip to pray about the members of my family to ask God for one specific concrete goal for conversation for each one of them then I share that with my wife or with someone else with a friend so that I can be kept accountable so that it's not necessarily up to me it's not in my control what the results of those conversations will be but it is often largely in my control whether those conversations actually take place and again God can work just as powerfully three weeks before you see your family over Christmas as he can right there in the moment as he reads you in the context of conversation I think it's a good thing to set concrete goals I think oftentimes we don't like the idea of setting goals because it opens us up to failure you know if I set a goal and I don't accomplish that goal then I failed but isn't that the amazing thing about the gospel the gospel of grace that were freed from having to worry about failure because we know we're going to fail but we also know that we have a God who's a God of grace and that his love for us and our identity is going to be no different whatsoever whether we succeed or we fail and so we're freed to set goals and trust God with them and ask him to help us to see them through a third piece of advice for conversation is to be questioned ready be questioned ready good questions are so powerful hopefully that's one of the things that were taking away from our time together Jesus was in the habit of asking a lot of very good questions something like a hundred and fifty seven of them are recorded in the New Testament how are we at asking questions as a society I think we're generally pretty bad I don't observe that much difference here between the Christian community and the non-christian community think about our most common questions how are you doing fine did you have a good summer yes did you have a good vacation what's up how's work did you see the game last night isn't the weather terrible our most common questions tend not to be questions at all they tend to just be cultural ways of saying hello and I think the result is that the reason we find it so difficult so often to get from shooting the breeze to Jesus is because we send spends such a high percentage of our time just shooting the breeze we wouldn't find it so difficult if we were regularly in the habit of asking good questions and entering into meaningful conversations side note for parents in the room the friend of mine who is the best question asker who I know when he was growing up his parents had a very open house very hospitable always inviting people over to stay with them and to have meals and they had this rule which was that my friend Cameron he always had to ask two questions of every adult who came to visits before he was off the hook I just commend that to you if that's helpful in your context but today you put Cameron in the room with anyone from all different walks of life and it's just natural it's a habit it's a spiritual discipline for him to just ask good meaningful questions and it makes a huge difference in terms of the way that he's able to share the gospel I have a list of questions that I keep on my computer in a Microsoft Word file ones that try to get beneath the surface quickly in a meaningful way but without being threatening sometimes those are questions that I've thought of sometimes it's someone asked me a great question and it led to a great conversation I throw that down on my list and then I try those questions out sometimes I try them out first on friends some questions work great excellent I keep that on the list some questions fail miserably okay I take that off the list next time someone asked me a good question I put that on the list I just read over this list maybe once a month or so just read over it a few times just a reminder to me to not get in that cultural habit of just seeing someone and just you know start starting in with isn't the weather terrible and you know how was your weekend fine and are you doing okay yes but to have a substantive meaningful question that's one of the ways that I go about it my experience is that if you consistently ask good questions and are consistently in meaningful conversations conversations on meaningful topics even if not explicitly spiritual topics Jesus finds his way into those conversations quite naturally here are some questions that I like I'll just run through these quickly you won't have time to write them write them down but if it is helpful and if people here want some of these questions I can always send the full list through and I'm sure that the organizers could distribute it if that would be useful but here's some questions that I like you'll notice that almost all of them are there's something interesting about them they're not questions that you can easily answer with a yes/no answer their questions that are open-ended and invite people to tell me more about who they are and their story what was the best part of your week not just how was your week fine but what was the best part of your week what was the worst part of your week what's been on your mind most recently when was the happiest time in your life why what are you good at what are your dreams for the future if money wasn't an issue and you could do anything you want what would you do what were you like as a child do you think you're different now in what ways what is your best childhood memory who whom in your family are you most alike whom are you most different from in what ways who are you closest to in your family are you close to your other family members who's your best friend and what's the best thing about them how would your best friends describe you who has had the most significant influence in your life and why what would you change yourself if you could change one thing did you grow up in a religious home I find that to be a very easy non-threatening way to get into a spiritual conversation you know I'm not saying are you a Christian which immediately make someone feel like perhaps a bit intimidated and like they're gonna disappoint me if they answer no but if I say did you grow up in a religious home I'm asking about their background I'm asking about their culture and then very quickly we're talking about whether or not someone's a Christian but we're doing it in a way that's brought them along in a way that I think you know respects them and allows them to enjoy the conversation if somebody says yes that they are a Christian again that may or may not mean that they have a living faith so I'll probably say something like well did you take to faith at a young age or did you come kicking and screaming later on and again I've just invited someone to tell me their story and now I'm gonna I'm gonna hear their testimony and have a good sense of where they're at sometimes I'll ask what is the most frustrating thing about religion to you sometimes I enjoy asking more creative questions if there was one of all you could make what would it be if there was one law you could break what would it be have you had experiences in your life that have made you think there might be a god I love this question have you had an experience in your life that has made you think there might be a God if you asked that question and you don't save someone when they don't answer immediately by just moving on to another topic but actually give them a few moments to sit with that question and think about it and tell them ah no rush no rush take your time it is amazing the things that people will tell you you will hear the most incredible miraculous stories and stories that people have just suppressed they've put them back in their memory somewhere where they can barely access those stories because it maybe didn't cohere with the rest of their worldview and they didn't want people to think they were crazy and so they've just pushed those things down but you ask that question you give them a little time all of a sudden someone says well there was this one time when and then they'll tell you the most amazing story that has God's fingerprints all over it and then you're saying wait you're telling me that happened to you and and you don't believe in God like let's let's talk about this further that's a great question of question what causes 80% of your stress first time I asked that question very first time I asked that question of someone without missing a beat they responded people like you asking me questions like that so good I said well what about the other 20% and then we had a great conversation B question ready ok 1/4 piece of advice don't only B question ready but also B response ready our responses to common questions are often as bad as the common questions themselves here are some of our most common responses to everyday questions ok all right not bad pretty good can't complain getting by hanging in same ol nothing not much fine and these are some of our most common responses to the questions that we received most frequently and it would be hard to make them any less creative or any more boring what are the questions that you get asked most often how can you respond to them in ways that allow you to talk about meaningful things generally and ultimately about the ultimately meaningful person of Jesus in particular how was your weekend not bad thanks how was your weekend really good actually once the movies on Saturday then on Sunday we went to church that's always a highlight for us do you ever go to church no I never go to church now we never used to either we thought it was weird but five years ago some friends invited us to to their church we actually found an incredible community there it's been a great support for my family the kids really enjoy it we develop to have you join us sometime that was not that weird in fact that was just a more honest answer to the question if you did come here on Sunday and you worship the Living God and encountered him than if someone says to you how was your weekend and you just say not bad Thanks that's a lie that's not even true all I've done there is give an honest answer to an every a question and you're all gonna be asked that on Monday and most of you are gonna be asked that on Monday by somebody who's not a Christian if you're a Christian and you worship on a Sunday the question how was your weekend is an absolute gift that you're given every week and so often we just passed that gift by and say not bad Thanks there are many different ways to answer questions like how was your weekend and what do you do that's a question for your work that's a question you'll get all the time how was that conference that you went to last weekend a lot of us are gonna get that question in the coming week how was that how was that conference you mentioned you were going to last weekend and some of us are gonna respond in ways that don't lead to meaningful conversations and some of us are gonna give it a little bit of prayerful thought beforehand and they're gonna have some really awesome conversations in the next week because you were at this conference and somebody asked you about it and you were response ready every day questions are amazing opportunities that we pass up all the time I used to think it was remarkable how quick Jesus was on his feet of course I still think it's remarkable how quick Jesus was on his feet and he could be as quick on his feet as he wanted to be and just to a certain extent I would find it discouraging the sorts of lines that he would you know come out with why do you call me good render to Caesar what is Caesar's but to God what is God's you who are without sin throw the first stone these amazing lines that you know I think about three hours too late on the drive home I'm still just as amazed at Jesus's conversational gifts but the more I think about it the more I wonder is this just are these just examples of Jesus being incredibly quick on his feet or are they also cases of him having prayed and thought hard the night before for an hour after dinner about the people that he was going to see the next day and the questions that they always asked him or the ways that he knew they were going to try to trap him was he response ready and at that part of what we're seeing when we read the scriptures fifth point be testimony ready some of the deepest and most meaningful conversations happen when we relate to what others are saying I often think sharing the faith is about coming to understand one's own story coming to understand someone else's story and then finding Christ at the intersection of those stories finding Christ at the intersection of one's own story and someone else's story but I've convinced in the last few years that sometimes one of the reasons we find this so difficult is because we actually don't know our own stories very well at some point we became a Christian or at some point as an adult we were asked to write out our testimony singular we were probably asked to write it out according to the framework of life before Christ's encounter with Christ life after Christ and we wrote out this sort of two to three minutes spiel about the specific theme that God was dealing with in our lives at that time and then every time that someone's asked us about our Christian faith or our testimony we've had an opportunity to share it since we've given that very same two to three-minute testimony along that one theme that God happened to be working in our lives at that time that's great I'm so grateful that someone asked me to do that exercise I'm so grateful for the specific themes that God was working on in my life at the time that I converted but the truth is that we have innumerable testimonies in our lives testimonies plural innumerable testimonies of all sorts of ways that God has worked in our lives along all sorts of themes that people deal with every day and one way of getting a deeper understanding of our own stories that I've found extremely useful is to write out your testimonies along various themes here's how I do it I start by prayerfully trying to identify a theme that it would be important to understand my story with respect to a theme that is just significant to human nature to people's experience of life to my own experience of life and then I pray and reflect about how that theme has played out in my life and about how God has been at work through it I think the more themes we know our testimony will under the better because then the more natural it is and I'm not talking about making stuff up here I'm saying our God is so good he has been at work in our lives through all sorts of different trajectories and themes and experiences and the more we understand those various testimonies then when you meet someone regardless of what theme they are dealing with what the GAR so what question and experience they're dealing with in their life it is more likely that you will have a real understanding of the way God has worked through that theme in your own life and then you'll be able to find Christ at the intersection of your story and of their stories so which themes would it be good to understand and be able to articulate our stories under maybe just throw out a few ideas suffering that's a universal theme anyone that we speak to is going to deal with suffering at some point so understanding our story with respect to suffering even if it's not the case that it was specifically in a time of suffering that we came to faith will still be really important few others sitting in career choice fantastic divorced absolutely identity we had over here children that's great addiction death of a spouse oh I think I heard an overcoming and a fear from two different people but well done that was impressive examples of kindness I love that so often we think about the bad things and how we can correct them but what about the good things do we have someone to be grateful to for them that's great grace generosity wonderful that's great compassion thank you death something everyone has to deal with at some point doubt great thank you and how refreshing it is for someone who's not a Christian to hear that a Christian has had doubts in their life and yet they still have this living faith that's really encouraging hospitality was in the back realization say it again yeah excellent excellent justice yep fantastic that's great and we can we can we can go and go on that I wrote some down to I wrote down forgiveness some that have already been said forgiveness family suffering intellect relationships guilt death fear dreams purpose loneliness freedom pride worry and anxiety shame frustrations with the church or with religion decisions about the future we had career image identity most of us have probably always told our testimony along one theme but as I read that list and as you hear all the things that were said around the room most of you could probably for 90% of the things that were spoken say yeah God is has been and is at work in a significant way in my life with respect to those themes are we completed products absolutely not but God's been at work in all of those areas and the gospel is significant for every one of those areas so what if we were able to share our testimony not just along this single theme that we initially wrote it out under but we were able to share testimonies from our life on every one of those themes what an amazing position we'd be in when we're talking with someone and they're going through any one of those things in their life we can legitimately talk about how God has been at work with respect to that and our lives and listen well to them and find Christ at the intersection between our story and their story the other fantastic thing about doing this I find and I sort of build this into my quiet times doing this kind of prayerful reflection on my life under these different themes and writing out those testimonies the other thing that I find really encouraging about that is it just brings me to a place of greater worship of God it widens my understanding of God's work in my life and therefore of His grace in my life and therefore my desire to turn back to him in worship because I realized that he hasn't just transformed me and that one theme that I originally understood my testimony under but in all of these different ways he's in the process of renewing my heart and that just makes me love him more and praise him more for his generosity a sixth piece of advice let's be prayer ready the Bible tells us that our prayers are powerful and effective how amazing is that how gracious is our God that we can sit here in Indianapolis I can stand here in Indianapolis and I can pray for my family in New Jersey and it will have a concrete practical difference hundreds of miles away things will happen in New Jersey because I'm praying in Indianapolis and things would happen in New Jersey because I was praying in England prayers its action at a distance I mean if that's not a superpower I don't know what is what a gift what unbelievable grace in our lives and I just want to raise one question in this section which is this how do you remind yourself to pray for people evangelistically how do you ensure that your prayer for not yet believers occurs and is not just if you happen to remember we have a superpower incredible gift of grace from God we need to use it and there are a million different ways that you could answer that question of how you remind yourself to be disciplined in doing that but the important thing is that every Christian should be able to answer that question in one way or another in a way the being effective in your life seventh point seventh piece of advice I want to mention is to be good stewards of conversations be good stewards of conversations if I handed you a hundred dollar bill right now now I'm just kidding if I handed you a hundred dollar bill right now I bet there is very low probability that you're gonna lose it before you leave this building okay there's a very low probability of that well when someone entrusts us with something personal and significant about their life in the context of conversation how much is that worth to us if we've had a good conversation with someone and they have vulnerably trusted us with information about them maybe the names of family members may be a struggle that they or a family member are going through maybe a relative is ill maybe it's a hope that they have for the future or a dream for the future maybe it's a frustration that they're dealing with at the moment or an anxiety those are valuable gifts those gifts are a lot more valuable than a hundred dollars and so we need to take care of them and not just toss them in the garbage before we ever leave the building or we trustworthy with the information that has been entrusted to us do we care enough about people to remember it and to reflect on it and to pray about it now I don't trust myself to remember all of the details that someone has shared with me in the context of a good conversation somebody who maybe I know I'm going to see again in the future my brains not good enough to do that and so what I do is I actually will take some notes I'll have some files where if I've had a good conversation with someone and I know hey that's someone I'm gonna see four times a year I know I'm not gonna remember that conversation well three months from now but I'll get home and I'll just think about the conversations I had that night and I'll open up a little with that person's name and I'll take some notes about the conversation now please hear me say this if you're gonna do this practice as I do some people think that's a little creepy I personally haven't been convinced yet that is creepy but I need to make a big qualification here that confidentiality is absolutely critical so I only do that if I do it in a password-protected way where nobody can access other than other than me but it's just a way of me extending my memory because I know I'm gonna forget stuff and I want to care for the person and the things they've told me enough that I can actually remember those things and then when I'm gonna see them three months later I can actually go back to some of these notes just like bullet point notes that just help me remember oh yeah that's what we talked about oh man I haven't been great at praying for that let me pray for that over the next week before I see that person let me ask them how that's going in their life let me follow up on that conversation that we got halfway through and that we didn't get to finish it's okay for me to take notes all the time on academic figures and cultural figures that I don't know and then I'll never meet well why would and I put in the same sort of investment to remember the things that have been entrusted to me about the people that I do know and that I will see again and that I want to develop relationship with when someone tells us something they give us permission to remember it so I would say in whatever way works for you be organized enough to do so to remember it to pray about it and that's a way of valuing them and it's gonna mean that when you start that conversation again when you see them three months later you're actually moving forward in the conversation rather than staying where you are or actually moving backwards because now you see them and you're so worried that you're gonna ask a question that you already asked last time and that you're supposed to know the answer to that you just don't ask any meaningful questions whatsoever so that you won't be shown to not have remembered what you spoke about last time avoid that by being good stewards of conversation one more point about being good stewards of conversations sometimes that just means looking to extend the conversation if you meet someone and you have a good conversation maybe it's a conversation that has a faith element to it and you think that would be a great conversation to carry on so often we just think we meet someone in a super market or whatever it is and we just it doesn't even register for us oh this is a conversation I could potentially continue look to extend the conversation when you have the opportunity just say something at the end like hey I've really enjoyed talking about this we do want to carry on this conversation at some point could we get a coffee sometime next week do you have an email are you on Facebook sometimes people are a little bit more hesitant to give a phone number to somebody they've just met and had a good conversation with but I've been doing this for 20 years and I can't think of one instance I do this all the time and I can't think of one instance where someone has been uncomfortable giving me an email address or their name on facebook people generally are very happy to carry on a good conversation and then the amazing thing is that then you get in touch and you say hey can we meet for coffee next week to discuss this further and now not only do you have that initial conversation but you're gonna have another conversation a week from now ends they're gonna spend this next week thinking about those faith related thoughts that you guys were initially discussing I mean it almost borders towards a type of prayer as they begin to search and begin to ask these questions about God because they know that that's what you're gonna be talking about when you meet for coffee a week later and you have an amazing conversation and you can carry on that relationship and see where God takes it okay my final piece of advice we have about 10 minutes left viii encouragement be Invitational with the gospel invite people to Jesus I am really really passionate about this and I know that that might sound overly simplistic but it's absolutely crucial no matter how great a party you are throwing and no matter how much you tell someone how excited you are about the party and no matter how much you tell someone how excited everyone else is about your party if you don't actually extend them an invitation to attend the party it's very unlikely that they are just going to show up and I fear that sometimes that's what we do are there people in my life who I love dearly who I have told my faith they know that I'm a Christian I've shared my testimony I've even answered some of their questions about faith but if I'm honest I've never actually simply extended to them an invitation to join me in the Christian faith to put their trust in Jesus to follow Jesus Christ we don't want people to just know about the great banquet that God is throwing we want them to actually be there with us rejoicing with us I always remember one student named Natasha college student who came to faith in one of the week weeks of mission that we do on university campuses and we asked her we said why didn't you come to faith sooner you know she didn't seem to have some big obstacle that we worked through and she took the question seriously and she sort of sat back and then she said I think I just needed an invitation that was all she needed she just needed an invitation she knew quite a bit about Christianity she had heard people's testimony she had had her questions answered but no one had extended her the invitation why do we so often not make invitations after all an invitation is a gift even if someone thinks they can't accept it if I'm getting married and I invite you to my wedding even if for some reason you don't think you can make it I have still given you a gift by inviting you I have still honored you by inviting you and we need to find ways to be able to offer the invitation of stepping into a relationship with Jesus Christ in a way that's not cringe-worthy and is not offensive but it's still received as someone having been honored and valued even if they're not yet in the place to say yes to that invitation so why do we so often not make the invitation and I think sometimes it's because I get fooled into thinking that God is far from the people in my life I assume that they're not ready to respond they don't know enough they haven't experienced enough of God or Christian worship they haven't had enough time to consider it I assume that God is far from them and at the root of this I think is partly that sometimes I'm deceived into thinking that evangelism is about me rather than about God I'm the one who does evangelism God he's not really involved and if that's the case then yes then it is incredibly arrogant for me to think that I could step into a conversation with someone who's say a hard skeptic and an hour later be in a position to offer them an invitation to follow Jesus Christ that an hour later I Vince would have persuaded their mind and their hearts to make the most significant decision that they ever possibly could make if that's the case that would be incredibly arrogant but the reality of the situation is so different what does the Bible say the Bible says in acts 17 27 that God is not far from each one of us God is not far from any person and actually what the Bible claims is even stronger look at Romans 1 with me talking about people who are not yet Christians Paul says for what is known about God is plain to them because God hasn't shown it to them for his invisible attributes namely his eternal power and divine nature have been clearly perceived ever since the creation of the world in the things that have been made it's an incredibly strong statement it's not just saying we can know something about God but that we could know his divine nature it says that it's plain to people that God has shown it to them and then it uses an even more emphatic word to say that God's nature has been clearly perceived what the Bible says is that somewhere deep down people actually do know God that is not in any way to minimize their legitimate questions or frustrations or doubts but it is to say that God not just Vince not just you God has been revealing himself there is a seed of knowledge that is already there through creation through our conscience through dreams in a million other ways God has been revealing himself there may be intellectual obstacles that are in the way but there is already that seed of knowledge there in every single person do we believe that do we believe that I think that is one of the most important questions for us to ask today do you believe that about your friends and family that God is near that he's not far that God has already been revealing himself to them in plain ways that they can see that he can be clearly perceived do we believe that about the people that we meet every day do you believe that every time you step into a conversation God has already been revealing himself that people already had the beginnings of knowledge of him somewhere deep down if you don't believe that then you won't have the confidence to make invitations you won't have the confidence to invite people to Jesus because again he'll be arrogant for me to think that I could take someone from hard skeptic to Christian in an hour-long conversation persuade their heart in their mind there's no way I can do that but if God has been revealing himself if deep down somewhere they already know they've just suppressed that knowledge and I'm just clearing away helping to clear away an intellectual obstacle or two so that that knowledge can rise to the surface that's a completely different story the Bible says that it's a lie when we think to ourselves God is far from this person there's no way that they could come to believe in him God is not far from any one of us he's been revealing himself to us you know that sometimes people talk about that that measurement from negative 10 to positive 10 negative 10 you couldn't be further from God and then you kind of get closer to God and then at 0 is your conversion and then you start the process of sanctification and you uuuugh aim for that +10 in that direction the more I'm involved in evangelism and it's been the priority of my adult life the more I think that there is no negative 10 to 10 it's like negative 1 2 plus 10 that's the that's the measurement because God is not far from any person and even in terms of God in terms of people being further and closer to God you know I've been a full-time evangelist for a decade now and I can't tell I think somebody's far from God really far and I make the invitation they say yes God transforms their heart they step into the Christian community I think somebody's right there oh this person is definitely becoming a Christian today two years later I'm still banging my head against a lectern you know talking with this person and skyping with them and and having in-person conversations it's not what we see it's what God sees our job is to extend the invitation and when you do you'll have some disappointments people who you think are right there and they're not but you will have many people who look like they're this far maybe they just don't want you to know how close they are because of the what that will do in the context of the relationship but many people are ready to trust Christ if you believe that you start to believe that in every single conversation God could bring new life and then things get really really exciting I think of a former student of mine named some and he became a Christian because a friend invited him to church he showed up apparently not interested he shows up at the church the friend oversleeps hears the music he pokes his head in the back he goes in finds the closest seat sits down sermon from John 15 Pierce's to the heart of this person who became my student and evangelism and apologetics Pierce's to the heart there's an invitation he accepts the invitation he goes forward he becomes a Christian and the discipleship process starts can you imagine you've invited someone to church you've overslept and by the time you call them that afternoon to apologize they tell you that their Christian awesome my point is God will use what we have if we're willing to be Invitational with our faith God will use what we have even if sometimes all we have is extending an invitation and then oversleeping God will still use that last year I spoke at a church in Ohio did a something like this on the Saturday then on the Sunday I spoke in the morning and there was a guy who apparently came up to try to find me or another member of staff afterwards after the service couldn't find anyone everybody had slipped off thankfully he came back later that night I was giving a final lecture that night in apologetics lecture finished two people approached me afterwards really deep things going on in their life had about a half-hour conversation with each of them and at that point there's no one left in the room but this one guy same guy and he's sitting in the corner and he looks like a real curmudgeon as well like real cynical face on him and he sitting there for an hour and I'm thinking to myself oh man he was not happy with the talk this is gonna be this is gonna be tough to get there after an hour of conversation I go up to him I say thank you so much for waiting so so patient generous of you is there anything I can help you with and he said I'm just trying to give my life to Christ and then I almost asked him what but it was so clear and then he says and then he said and to be honest I kind of like to do this with a normal person I guess meaning like not someone in ministry you know and he said but you're still here and we and we talked through what he meant by that he all he did he understood the gospel he had come forward that morning because he wanted to give his life to Christ he couldn't find anyone thank God he came back thank God there was even you know that lecture which there's not usually that Sunday evening and he came back he waited for an hour sitting there by himself and then we prayed and this beautiful raw new prayer of a new believer he called God man in his prayer it was so awesome he's like man I need you I was like that fantastic yes and I thought to myself as we were leaving I thought anyone that the morning service or that evening who just walked up to this man he didn't even want to do it with me he wanted to do it with a normal person anyone who walked up to him and just said how can I help you the first words out of his mouth would have been I'd like to give my life to Christ but no one was thinking God is near and God is known God is near to every person he's already known by people somewhere deep down it could have been the sermon this morning that cleared away an obstacle and that person's ready to commit their life to Christ nobody was thinking that nobody went up to him he was sitting there for an hour by himself in the room with nobody who said simply can I help you last story and I'll finish here while back I met a young man named Isaac at church again after a sermon he came up he asked a difficult question about Hell I answered it best I could and as I was answering it I saw in his eyes that a sort of shift was taking place that he was getting it something something was happening and he finished asking the question I gave my answer and then I could see this shift taking place but he just said thank you so much that's really helpful and then he turned you know to walk away and and I and I thought to myself ah I should should have made an invitation I took the question seriously I think of this ministry and two-fold way take the question seriously make the invitation simple but both that's where the power is I took the question seriously but I didn't make the invitation and it's just I felt in my stomach you know this kind of God saying oh I had more for that conversation and this unease so it's in another conversation accent sorry I'll be heard back so I run out the back of the church into this dark alley and I stopped him right before he gets on his bike to cycle away is it so sorry sorry to startle you in this dark alley I said but I just I just sense when we were talking that maybe maybe God had more for us in that conversation and if there was anything that you want you know to say to God tonight and if I could you know in any way come along I really want to commit my life to Jesus like I had gotten the question out yet and that those were the words that were on the tip of his tongue and I so easily could have let him just say thanks so much that's a helpful answer and just walk out the back of church without him ever expressing those words without us ever getting to pray together without the community of the church ever getting to come around him and begin to disciple him so my encouragement God will use what you have whether that's just inviting someone to church and oversleeping whether that's extending the actual invitation for someone to come and trust Christ but let me just encourage you when you sense that God has more when you sense God inviting you to make that invitation trust him with those promptings I call them Holy Spirit you terms when you've had a conversation and now you're walking in the other direction and you just feel it right here and you're all right and you turn back and you make a holy spirit you turn and you find some awkward way to get yourself back into that conversation every single time I've done that God has blessed it every time God has blessed it and here's the really exciting thing that very same feel which at first is nerves and anxiety I really don't want to turn around I don't know what to say god you can't do that can't you do this without me that very same physical feeling when I was standing there and Isaac walked away and he walked out the back of the church now years later now having built up the evidence of God's faithfulness through those promptings when I made the tough decisions to turn around and seen God bless it I felt the very same thing in my stomach but the emotion was not one of anxiety or nervousness it was one of excitement and expectancy because I had built up the evidence of God's faithfulness time and time again through those Holy Spirit u-turns that when I felt that unease in my stomach I knew that meant that God was about to do something really significant so let me just end with this final encouragement going back to a question I've already asked is there someone in your life who God might be asking you to just extend a simple invitation to to trust him would you like to join me in the Christian life are there any questions that I can answer for you is there anything that's keeping you from putting your trust in Jesus would you like to do that would you like to do that today simple questions that could lead to a great conversation if you ask those questions maybe it's someone who knows you're a Christian you've told them your testimony you've answered their questions but you've just never made that invitation I don't know how many people are in this room but I can tell you this with utter assurance if God puts someone on each of our hearts and if in the next week we extended that simple invitation I can tell you from my experience with full assurance that this time next week there would be a significant number of people who will have had their lives transformed by Jesus Christ and who will be our brothers and sisters and together with us as family for all eternity so what I want to do just as we finish I'm just going to give you maybe thirty Seconds to just see if God does lay someone on your heart to extend an invitation to and if he does just write that person's name down just write it down in your notes and then pray into that and trust God with however it is that he's asking you to be Invitational in the days ahead thirty seconds of silence and I'll close and prayer or god I thank you so much for every person who has come to mind I thank you so much every person whose name has been written down I thank you for your love for them I think you got the love of the people in this room have for them but I thank you that your love for them is even greater and I thank you that you've been revealing yourself to them that you have gone before us I think that because of that they even know you somewhere deep down and I just pray in the next week that you would use the people in this room to extend the simple invitation to express their heart for that person to them in a way that would be genuine and would be meaningful and would be attractive and inviting and I pray Lord that the result of those conversations is that our family would be bigger and that there would be much rejoicing that we would have come one week's time thank you Lord for the privilege of this time together thank you that you have been here present with us thank you for this act of worship that you have given us the gift of and I pray a blessing on both the heart and the mind of each person here in the context of their faith with you for all eternity in Jesus name Amen you

Channel: RZIM HQ

Views: 9,612

Rating: 4.8727913 out of 5

Keywords: RZIM, Ravi, Ravi Zacharias, Ravi Zacharias International Ministries, apologetics, evangelism, Jesus, Jesus Christ, Christ, Christianity, Christian, Christian Apologetics, philosophy, God, truth, Bible, gospel, Lord, salvation, Vince Vitale, Conversation, Friendship, Relationship

Id: SaK4lR-Mvdo

Length: 68min 30sec (4110 seconds)

Published: Fri Mar 01 2019