Hi. This documentary is about
euthanasia for young people. Two important messages,
before we start: firstly: a trigger warning for anyone
with any kind of mental troubles... ...like depression, or suicidal thoughts. If you think about suicide, and want to
talk about it, you can contact a local... ...suicide hotline. In The Netherlands,
call 0800-0113 or go to 113.nl Having said that: take a deep breath... ...cause here we go. [Tim] Why have you contacted us? [Robin] Because I desperately
want euthanasia. [Athaliah] My GP tells me: 'Who knows,
maybe next year a cure will be found,'... ...but I don't even know if I'll
survive another year. [Robin] People tell me: 'You're a nice,
good-looking guy'... ...'You're still young, you've got your
whole life ahead of you,'... ...but I've been fighting since
I was seven years old... ...I don't want to go on anymore. [GP's assistant] What's
troubling you? [Athaliah] I'd like to talk with the
GP about euthanasia. [Gerty] They don't really want to die;
they just can't live... ...don't know how to live.
They're desperate and forlorn. [Jelmer] Usually all I feel is
an enveloping void. [Menno] If she tells me:
'It's over, I'm done,' I'll say: okay, I'll be over at my father's...
And please, just take a couple of pills... ...I don't want to come home
to your dangling body. [Tim] So, for you, and for many people
like you, the choice seems to be: euthanasia or jumping? Hi! Welcome to this <i>BOOS</i> [NL: angry]
documentary, in which we'll try to make... ...angry people less angry, this
time by discussing the topic of... euthanasia for young people.
We'll talk about young people... ...who don't want to live anymore.
They'd rather die. Hey. We'll talk with, among others,
Robin en Athaliah. This is Athaliah. (Hi!) And this is Robin (inrecognisable,
due to privacy reasons). So... Athaliah... You're angry, right? [Athaliah] Yeah, that's right. [Tim] Can you tell us why?
[Athaliah] Because I wanted to... ...have had the prospect of euthanasia,
but that's been rejected. [Tim] And Robin, you're angry as well...
Please introduce yourself. [Robin] I'm 25 years old, and
I think my life is complete. [Tim] But why?
[Robin] I don't like it here. [Tim] Robin and Athaliah both
contacted us, asking if we could... ...bring up the subject of euthanasia... ...because that would help them a lot. Sure! Let's do that, then! Not in the least because we're intrigued
ourselves: why would a young person want... ...to die? Is it easily arranged? What
happens if you're not allowed to die? In short: what are the issues young
people encounter on the road to death? Those (and other) questions will be
answered in this documentary, by... ...following a few young people who don't
want to live anymore, but were willing... ...to talk with us about these issues. We'll start with the 21 year old Athaliah. She's been troubled by several illnesses,
which has led her to express: 'I'd really like to take matters into my
own hand, in the near future. I would like one euthanasia, please.' [Athaliah] I've got <i>systemic lupus
erythematosus</i> (SLE). That's an auto-immune disease. [Tim] What's this, hanging here?
[Athaliah] Oxygen. [Tim] Oxygen, because...? [Athaliah] Because without it, I'll get
shortness of breath. Thank's to the... ...lupus, I've got another, very rare
disease that impairs my lungs... [Tim] Another one! [Athaliah] ...which is why I need this. [Tim] Let's sit down and talk...
[Athaliah] Sure. [Tim] ...cause we'll be going on
a journey together. And we need to discuss
a couple of things. [Athaliah] Absolutely. [Tim] Okay. Can I have a drink?
[Athaliah] What'd you like? [Tim] There's someone on the stairs.
Do come down! [Menno] Hey.
[Tim] The boyfriend! Hi! [Athaliah] Boyfriend?!
[Menno] Husband! [Tim] Oh, right. There's a picture
of the wedding on the wall! [Menno] Yeah, we're married. [Tim] When was that?
[Menno] About half a year ago. [Tim] Do you provide informal care?
[Menno] Yes, I'm her caregiver as well. [Tim] Let's sit down.
[Athaliah] Sure! [Tim] Let's sit down. So... you've got this disease.
[Athaliah] Yeah. [Tim] What about it
troubles you the most? [Athaliah] The largest issue are my lungs.
They aren't diseased themselves... ...but the pleurae around
them are damaged. They don't work properly anymore.
They just get smaller and smaller... ...which is why I've got
trouble breathing, and... [Tim] So, that's not the lupus, but rather
something you've got because of the lupus. [Athaliah] Yes. It's called
a shrinking lung... ...and it hurts a lot. [raspy breathing] [Menno] What is
troubling you, dear? [groans of pain] [Menno] Does it hurt a lot?
[Athaliah] Yes. [Tim] This is full of drugs! [Athaliah] Medicine,
auxiliaries, infusion bags... [Tim] And does the lupus
itself hurt you as well? [Athaliah] Not really, no.
[Tim] So it's just the lungs... ...those are the trouble...
[Athaliah] Yes. [Tim] ...and that's how you... ...that's what'll kill you. [Athaliah] Yes. [Tim] So, what's the prognosis?
How long do the doctors give you? How old will you become?
[Athaliah] The doctors told me: it'd be... ...remarkable if I had another 5 years.
[Tim] From this day. [Athaliah] No, that was 2 years ago.
[Tim] So... 3 more years... [Athaliah] Yes.
[Tim] But you didn't call me because... ...you wanted to wait around until you
choked to death, right? You called... ...because you want euthanasia. [Athaliah] That's right.
[Tim] Yes. [Athaliah] Yes. A lot of times, and it's getting
more and more regular... ...it's just not going well, and it's
getting harder and harder to... ...get going again.
And if they get me going again... ...it's usually five steps behind
where I used to be. Eventually it'll be zero steps, and
I won't get up at all anymore. So I'm heading for a life of agony,
waiting for the end, not knowing... ...how long I have to suffer,
and I really don't want that. [Tim] You don't want that life of agony.
[Athaliah] No. [Tim] Have you applied
for euthanasia, yet? [Athaliah] Yes. Most doctors have
a hard time with the prospect... ...they don't really want to do it. [Tim] Why not? What's the problem? [Athaliah] My doctor tells me: 'Who knows,
maybe next year a cure will be found,'... ...but I don't even know if I'll
survive another year. I'd really like to live on, and I try
to show that to the world. [Tim] Yes. [Athaliah] I'm trying to get euthanasia,
but I'm also trying to find anything... ...that can help me get better. I've
enrolled for college, even if that's... ...an arduous journey.
You know... I really want to live... But this disease simply
makes it impossible. [Tim] Okay. Athaliah's case is pretty
clear: she wants to die humanely... ...by means of euthanasia, in stead of
slowly and painfully choking to death... ...because of her shrinking lungs. Even
then, euthanasia at that case is quite... ...a complicated issue. But it gets even
more complicated for people whose... ...unbearable suffering is just a little
bit less concrete and visible than... ...shrinking lungs, because it's all
taking place inside their heads. What if someone doesn't want to live
anymore, because of mental problems? This is the case for Robin. He's 25 years
old, and for him that's old enough. [a phone is ringing] [Marije] Hi ***, Marije here, from BOOS.
How are you doing? [Robin] It's alright, I guess. At least
I'm allowed to retreat to my own... ...room again. My mood varies a lot:
ups and downs. I can't bring up the subject of
euthanasia around here. [Marije] What's going on, exactly?
[Robin] I've had a traumatic life. For the last four years, I've been trying
to get some therapy. And I've had some, but it
really doesn't improve anything. So last June, I've made up my mind and
told them 'Guys, I don't want more... ...therapy. I want to quit.
I want euthanasia.' I've thought about that a lot -
then I got involuntarily admissioned... ...because if you ask for euthanasia,
you're a hazard to yourself. [Tim] We pick up Robin at the psychiatric
ward he's been held at. He's got an hour's leave to talk to us. Hi there.
Let me mic you. You got, what, a 30 minute break?
[Robin] An hour. [Tim] You can have an hour outside,
every day, when supervised. [Robin] Sort of. I'm allowed outside for
30 minutes, three times a day. [Tim] Okay, we're your supervisors now.
Don't do anything crazy. [Robin] I won't.
[Tim] Cause we'll be in trouble if you do. [Robin laughs]
[Tim] What is this place? [Robin] It's the high intensive care,
closed admission. That's were they put you if you're
an hazard to yourself... [Tim] Or to others.
[Robin] ...or to other people. [Tim] Okay... should I be worried?
[Robin] No. [Tim] But how would I know?
[Robin] Ha, you wouldn't, I guess. [Tim] Okay. But I shouldn't.
[Robin] No. [Tim] What's your age?
[Robin] 25. [Tim] And you've told us:
'There is no good end in sight for me.' [Robin] No.
[Tim] You're suffering psychologically... ...and unbearably, with no prospect of
improvement whatsoever. How do you know? [Robin] Looking back on the past four
years, it's only gotten worse. I'm not open to treatment anymore.
They want to try a lot of different... ...treatments, treatments to which they
themselves can't even predict the outcome. I've had therapy for about
five months, now... ...without any form of treatment. I don't want to go on like this. [Tim] I can imagine. What would you say is
"suffering unbearably"? [Gerty] That's about the most difficult
question. That's why I ask the people... ...who end up in front of me:
'Tell me, what is <i>your</i> unbearable... ...suffering?' Cause that's the level
of individuality to that question. Everyone has their own unbearable
suffering. You can't just generalize... ...what unbearable suffering means.
People might just determine their own. It is, however, important that they can
explain to me how they suffer inbearably. I have to be able to understand them,
to sympathize with their situation. [Robin] I've had several diagnoses before.
First it was PTSD (post-traumatic... ...stress disorder), with additional
personality problems. I've been treated for those;
I've had EMDR. Afterwards, I got schema therapy.
Those were sort of stable times. Then, last June I relapsed.
Got a forced admission... ...because I asked the GP for euthanasia. And now I've been forbidden to
even mention the subject. [Tim] But why?
[Robin] The subject's a taboo. It's not an acknowledged
form of treatment. [Tim] And by saying: 'I want euthanasia,'
you're saying: 'I want to die'. And then they lock you up.
[Robin] That's when they lock you up. [Tim] And you can't do anything about it,
because you're a danger to yourself. This is what you get in stead of help.
[Robin] Yes. [Tim] How many requests does the<i>
Euthanasia Expertise Centre</i> get? [Gerty] Up to about 800 a year. [Tim] How many of
those requests are granted? [Gerty] Less than 10%.
[Tim] To clarify: the 800 requests... ...mentioned, are just the ones brought on
by psychological suffering. The total number of requests
per year is over 3000. Those numbers exclude the regular
requests made to GPs and practicioners. Well then. To suffer psychologically
with no prospect of improvement What does that even mean? How do people
experience it? How does it feel? What does life look like? Those are some
good questions, and to answer them... ...we've got two experts by experience.
Pay attention! [Olax] Hi! My name is Olax, I'm 33 years
old. I've got borderline and depression... ...and as long as I can remember, I have
wished for an end to this life. [Jelmer] Hi, my name is Jelmer.
I'm 33 years old as well. I've got a peculiar eye condition,
which'll probably lead to blindness. On top of that, I've been diagnosed with
ADHD, PTSD, Borderline Personality... ...Disorder, clinical depression... ...and I've got a deep-seated
wish to stop living. [Olax] Why do you want to die? [Jelmer] I'd prefer the question:
'Why don't you want to live?' [Olax] I agree. That'd be the better
question. I think life is... ...devoid of need, purpose and meaning.
In the end, it doesn't seem to matter... ...whether you live or not, and,
given those two options... ...I'd much rather not. [Tim] What do you feel? [Jelmer] Usually all I feel is an
enveloping void, as if I'm in a... ...very large room, all alone, just
waiting to get out. Something like that. [Olax] Existing tends to be heavy, in the
literal sense: it's like something is... ...pushing down on my shoulders; as if
every gesture takes a lot of effort. As if even breathing is a daunting task.
Sometimes I won't come out of bed for... ...days on end, just because I simply
cannot muster the strength to do so. [a phone is ringing] [Menno] Hi, it's me again.
[Marije] How's life? [Menno] Lately not that well,
to be honest. My wife uses increasingly more
medication, because she's hurting. Talks about euthanasia have
stagnated. People don't... ...seem to take her seriously.
[Marije] They don't? [Menno] It hurts me to see that. People
just don't see what's happening... ...because she's falling apart from the
inside. Everbody keeps tellin us: 'She's looking good, she must be
doing well, then, isn't she?' Meanwhile she's breaking down;
she's not doing well at all. [nurse] 148 beats per minute.
That's perfectly natural. You can see the little face coming up;
the torso; the little heart... ...the back, on the other side; we'll
be taking another look at that later. And those are the little feet,
slightly arched, see? The upper legs; a little knee;
lower legs... ...and look!, the little feet
are moving about. [Athaliah] I'm pregnant.
This is the ultrasound. [Tim] How long has it been?
[Athaliah] Almost 20 weeks. [Tim] That's halfway through already!
[Athaliah] Yes. [Tim] Will it be healthy?
[Athaliah] As far as we know, it is. [Tim] Do you know if there'll be
any complications, and what they'd be? [Athaliah] There'll for sure be some,
but they'll be mostly on my part. [Tim] So your child'll be fine, then.
[Athaliah] Yes. [Tim] What's it like for you?
[Menno] It's very intense for me. [Tim] And for your child!
[Menno] And for the child. We'll have to see how it turns
out, what we end up with. [Tim] Is a pregnancy really
that good of an idea? [Menno] Well... good idea...
It's what we want. And who knows... ...perhaps she'll be with us for a while.
No one knows exactly what'll happen. [Tim] Quite so. Why did you contact us?
[Robin] Because I really want... ...euthanasia, and I want the
euthanasia legislation to change. [Tim] What's wrong with
the legislation, you think? [Robin] You have to be able to prove
further treatment won't do you any good... ...and that you're suffering severely.
That's very hard to prove. [Gerty] You need to be of sound mind. You
need to be suffering unbearably. Further treatment has to be futile.
That's what we have to find out. Those are the three top criteria. [Robin] Every practicioner can think of
one or two ways they're sure will... ...help you along. The Expertise Centre
told me: 'if there are 15 possible... ...treatments, you'll have to try at least
13 of them, before we can talk. [Gerty] At some point you're done.
There's nothing left. You can try to cling on to treatment,
but that'd be a... ...mindless, uselessly repetitive
excersise, benefiting no one. In fact, it impedes their quality of life,
because they won't feel as if their... ...suffering, their illness,
is taken seriously. [Tim] What would it mean to you,
to walk that road? [Robin] It'd probably mean at least
another 10 years of treatment. [Tim] 10 years of the same thing
you already think isn't working. [Robin] Yes. [Johan] There is no such thing as a right
to euthanasia. It's a possibility in the... ...Dutch legal system. Would it be a ride,
doctors would be obligated to grant any... ...patient's euthanasia request.
That's not the case. Doctors are free to refuse,
they don't need a reason to. So it's a possibility, but not a
patient's right. Nobody can force... ...anyone to contribute
to euthanasia. [Tim] Do you understand the legislation?
[Robin] Yeah, I do. I'd just... ...wish for a more personal approach.
For the rules to be less strict. It feels wrong that someone, who really
wants do die, can't get euthanasia. [Johan] Euthanasia and assisted suicide
are considerd crimes in The Netherlands... ...but under certain strict conditions,
doctors are exempt from prosecution... ...thanks to special euthanasia
legislation. There are a couple of... ...conditions and requirements,
and if those are met... ...euthanasia is a possibility. [Robin] People tell me: 'You're a nice,
good-looking guy'... ...'You're still young, you've got your
whole life ahead of you,'... 'Everybody has their troubles';
'Never say die!'... ...assisted psychiatrically, and it
doesn't seem to get any better. I don't want to go on anymore. I've made up the balance between
life and death, and I'm sure about it. I just don't want to be forced to,
for instance... ...jump of a bridge, or in front
of a train, like so many others. [Tim] Have you ever attempted suicide? [Robin] Yes. I ended up
in intensive care. [Olax] Are you always gloomy?
Can you still smile? Those two aren't as exclusive as they
might seem. Even when I'm very down... ...I can still get along with people, make
them laugh, laugh with them. Entertaining others comes naturally. To
pretend everything's fine and dandy... ...is super easy, barely an inconvenience.
Do I enjoy those times? Who knows. [Tim] Something people might wonder:
if you say you want to die... ...or if you ask for euthanasia, does that
mean every single day is a 3 out of 10? [Olax] For me every single day is a 1.
Even the good days. Although that might... ...be because I plot every day against the
ideal of not experiencing a day at all. I'm a borderliner, nuance is not my forte.
To me, most things in life are either... ...a 1 or a 10. And the way my life goes,
there's not many a 10, and 1s are plenty. Even on the happiest days of my life,
when I went out, had fun, enjoyed... ...the company of others, when
I go to sleep, I still think: I'd really rather this day simply
wouldn't have been. [Jelmer] I think the suffering of
living life is to great a burden... ...to ever not consider not-living. [Tim] Hi friends.
It's Monday morning. Marije, please explain.
[Marije] We had a call from Athaliah... ...who is over there.
She's about to give birth. [Tim] We came down here posthaste.
The camera is still being set-up... ...so this is filmed with an iPhone. A lot of things can go wrong today.
[Marije] That's right. There's a few possible scenarios.
[Tim] We'll discuss those in a bit. There's a couple of things on the line
today, particularly your life... ...and the life of your child.
[Athaliah] The life of my child doesn't... ...worry me. She's doing fine. That's
the sole reason why we want to... ...press on, just so she continues
to do fine, and she'll be here. [Tim] But your life might be in
jeopardy because of it. [Athaliah] Yeah, that's
the exciting bit. [nurse] We have to prepare some things,
so I'm going to ask you to leave... ...and we'll let you know
when or if you can return. Meanwhile, I'll do my job, here. [Tim] So, you could
become a granddad... ...and you'd be an aunt.
But it's possible the mother... ...won't last much longer.
[aunt] Yes. [Tim] What do you do, as a parent?
[granddad] Support them as much as possible. That's my job, and that's what I'm going
to do, to the best of my ability. [Tim] Let's just hope you'll be an
aunt soon, and you'll be a granddad. [granddad] That's the plan.
[aunt] Let's assume the best. [Tim] And the mother still
alive and kicking. [aunt] That would be preferable, yes. [Tim] She's texted us.
[Marije] Menno's sister. They're coming down here.
I don't know if there's any news. [Tim] He's smiling!
Yo! He's smiling! ...and?
[Menno] Everything's perfect! [Tim] Seriously? Goddamn!
[Menno] Yeah! [Tim] Dude. Congratulations!
[Menno] Thanks! [Tim] I'm so happy for you.
[Menno] I'm so happy for me. She's resting now. She's breathing on her
own again. She's lost some blood, but... ...not too much. The little one started
crying immediately. Heartbeat was fine... [Tim] What are we talking about?
A son? A daughter? [Menno] A daughter.
I'm a proud dad! I'm so happy with my two girls.
[Tim] You're a daddy now! [Menno] Yeah! [Tim] So... what is this?
A maternity visit? [Marije] Essentially.
[Tim] Goddamn. We didn't bring any presents.
[Marije] Didn't think about that. [Tim] This is a strange turn of events,
in the middle of a documentary about... ...euthanasia.
Oh, hello! [Athaliah] Hello!
[Tim] How are you doing? [Athaliah] Fine, fine...
[Tim] We need to take of our shoes, right? Hey big guy, how are you?
[Menno] Fine, how are you? [Tim] Yeah, very well.
Hi there... What a beautiful child!
[Menno] Takes after her father. [Athaliah, laughing] Well put!
[Tim] Yeah, I understand... [Menno] All those people around you...
I'd be squeaking about that too... [Tim] What's she called?
[Menno] Sevyn. [Tim] Nice! Has she inherited any
of your afflictions? [Athaliah] None whatsoever.
[Tim] No lupus, nothing? [Menno] The chance that this kid gets it
is the same chance your kid would. [Tim] That's something, isn't it?
[Athaliah] Absolutely. [Tim] So how are you?
Your lungs, your lupus? [Athaliah] It's all getting worse again.
The pregnancy had a magical effect... [Tim] Like a primal instinct,
of sorts... [Athaliah] I don't know. It turned a lot
around. I hadn't had a swim in years... ...but we went to a water park, and I've
been down the whitewater course six... ...times in a row. I hadn't had the energy
to do those things in years. And now things are getting worse. And lately I've been getting down.
[Tim] Why is that? [Athaliah] My condition is worsening.
I try to stay strong... ...but I get sad about
leaving her behind. And I feel so guilty, because
on the one hand... ...I long for the euthanasia,
and I really want that... ...but I know it'll hurt her.
That's really hard. [Tim] So it's become a lot more complex,
thanks to motherhood. [Athaliah] Yes. I knew it would be this
way, but it still does a number on... ...your emotions. However, euthanasia
is not something you ask for, just for... ...the fun of it, you can imagine.
[Tim] So you still want to... [Athaliah] Yes.
[Tim] Like... how do I put it... ...die. [Athaliah] Yes. I'll try, for my little girl, to go on
as long as possible. As long as I... ...can get euthanized when the time comes.
[Marije] You just want to know the... ...possibility's there.
[Athaliah] Yes. I need to know that... ...when I tell them: 'Okay, I've thought
about this for 10 or 20 days... ...today, let me have it.' I need to know
that's an option. Nobody can tell me... ...how long I have.
Nobody can tell me how I can heal. I'm stuck. I can't do anything. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. [Tim] Are you happy now?
[Athaliah] Er... yes. [Tim] Doesn't that make dying
even harder, and more painful? [Athaliah] It sure does. But it saddens me even more that there's
no chance to get better, ever again. It's inevitable. It's not like this has ever
been an easy choice. [Tim] Do you think it's resposible to
bring a child into this world, if you... ...know you're going to die soon?
[Athaliah] I don't think it's... ...irresponsible, per se. Of course it's
going to be hard, but the child has a... ...father, and the father wanted that
child as much as I did. I'm just trying... ...to live life to the fullest, as long as
it lasts, but part of me hopes it won't... ...last too long anymore. [Olax] Why euthanasia?
Why don't you just commit suicide? There's a plethora of reasons,
but they all come down to this: almost every way to kill yourself is
horrible, and risky on top of that. Risky, not because of the chance
you'll die from it, obviously... ...but more in the sense: if you
hang yourself, there's a large risk... ...you'll survive the ordeal, and you
might end up in a wheelchair. If you overdose, there are comparable
complications: liver damage... ...organ damage at large...
More extreme forms of suicide, like... ...jumping in front of a car or a train,
would hurt other people more, than I'd... ...ever want to hurt myself.
There are "safe" ways to off yourself... ...but they all come down to having to
keep it a secret for everyone; not being to talk to anyone about it,
out of fear they'll be considered... [Jelmer] ...an accomplice.
[Olax]... accessory to homicide, if... ...they did nothing to prevent it.
When asked: 'Why euthanasia... ...in stead of suicide?' I think that'd be
one of the main reasons for me. [Jelmer] To me it's the
humanity of it all. I would like to take the time to say
goodbye. To take the time to look... ...around for the final time, and think:
okay, I've actually been here. I might not have liked it, but
I've been here, and now it's over. That's a nice thought. And I'd like
people to be there when I go. [Tim] To what extent is age factored in
when a euthanasia request is considered? [Gerty] I think: the younger they are, the
more cautiously we approach... ...these people; the more careful we look
at their request. In my opinion... ...they're no different than 40 year
olds. You take their suffering into... ...account: what's their history? What
makes them tick? And that can be arduous. Burdensome, even.
[Tim] How come? [Gerty] A young life is terminated.
And I'm a participant in that termination. It's providing assistance. Euthanasia is
helping people. And I feel I'm really... ...helping out, and I've had beautiful
experiences in that respect, but sad... ...ones as well. You'll have a young
person in front of you, saying: 'Finally...' - and then there's the most
tormented friends and family around them. [Athaliah] I get sad when I think about
how I'd rather die than be with my child. That's a horrible realisation.
Everything hurts. I'm in a lot of pain. And I can't seem to
explain it, or describe it, to anyone. Nobody can feel what I feel. [Marije] You're the only one who can
indicate your level of distress. [a phone is ringing] [automated message] This is the general
practice. Due to a temporary shortage... ...of assistents, the waiting time
might be longer than expected. We apologize for the inconvenience.
[Tim] Do you know anyone who's gone... ...through the same ordeal, with the same
disease, who's had a similar experience? [Athaliah] I've heard stories about
someone very comparable to me. A young girl, with lupus, just like me,
for whom there was no more treatment. Her GP had promised to go along with
euthanasia, whenever she'd ask... ...but in the end they didn't, so
the girl hanged herself. [Tim] Would that be an option, for you?
[Athaliah] Hanging? No. But... [Tim] ...but suicide in any other form?
[Athaliah] Definitely. If there's no other way,
that'll always be an option. [Tim] Have you talked about that?
[Menno and Athaliah] Yes. [Menno] I've told her: 'Make sure to...
record a message on your own phone... ...clarifying it's your own choice. Make
sure I'm not at home when you do it. And just take some pills, cause I don't
want to come home to your dangling body. [Tim] Would you want to know in advance? [Menno] I really wouldn't mind. If she
tells me: 'It's over. I'm done', I'll say: 'Okay, I'll be over at my father's...' [Tim] Yeah, right, so you'll get
out of the house. [Menno] I'll be sure not to be
in the near vicinity, yeah. [Tim] You're about to request
euthanasia from your GP... ...(after several other practicioners
have refused to cooperate). You can ask any doctor, or the Expertise
Centre, there's a lot of options. If they all tell you 'No',
is that what you're going to do? [Athaliah] What do you mean?
[Tim] Commit suicide. [Athaliah] I'd think so, yeah. [automated message] Our assistants
are on break between the hours of... ...10.30 and 11.00
and 12.00 and 13.00. [GP's assistant] Good afternoon,
*** speaking. [Athaliah] Hi, good afternoon, this is
mrs. Boon. I would like to make an... ...appointment with the doctor. [assistant] Okay, what's your
date of birth? [Athaliah] October 3rd, 1996.
[assistant] What's troubling you? [Athaliah] I'd like to talk with the
GP about euthanasia. [Athaliah] Are you still there?
[assistant] Yeah, I'm here... You want to talk to the GP about
euthanasia. Is there a reason for that? [Athaliah] My disease. The
doctor must be aware of that. [assistant] Is 8.15 okay?
[Athaliah] Yes, that's okay. [assistant] Next Monday,
January 14th, 8.15 hours, then. [Athaliah] Thank you so much.
[assistant] Okay bye. [Tim] What do you feel, on average? [Robin] Fear.
[Tim] Of what? [Robin] Of my past.
I relive the memories. [Tim] What does death look like, to you?
[Robin] Peacefulness. I know I'll find peace in death.
[Tim] Are you afraid of death? [Robin] Not at all.
[Tim] Are you afraid to die? [Robin] Very.
[Tim] What scares you about it? [Robin] It's a moment of fear. If I would
try to commit suicide, I can't possibly... ...predict what it would be like on the
other side. That's why I'd rather have... ...euthanasia. I fear doing it myself.
[Tim] What does euthanasia look like? [Robin] I'd imagine lying on a bed,
somewhere safe and sound. Taking a solution, or getting an
injection, surrounded by dear ones... ...if they'd want that. As it is, I feel
pushed towards suicide. [Tim] That's what it feels like. [Robin] Not really what I'd have wanted.
[Tim] Your situation is unsustainable... ...you can't get euthanasia, so you'll
take matters in your own hand, and... ...that upsets you.
[Robin] Yeah, that upsets me. [Tim] Will we meet again, after today? [Robin] I sure hope not. [a phone is ringing]
[Robin] Hey Marije. [Marije] Hey.
[Robin] I've jumped off the bridge. Off the <i>Erasmusbrug</i>. The police
have gotten me out of the water. I'm devastated, because it didn't go as
planned. And I've broken a cervical... ...vertibra. This morning, they brought
me back to that fucking ward, with... ...an ambulance. This is not the direction
I was aiming for, to say the least. [Olax] What does aftercare look like,
after a euthanasia request? In a nutshell: there is no such thing. [Jelmer] After they refuted my latest
application, I've never been contacted... ...not even a customer satisfaction
survey, or anything. [Olax] "Would you recommend Euthanasia
Expertise Centre to friends or family?" [Jelmer] But seriously: I don't even know
if I've been helped properly, or whatever. Aftercare is provided in almost all cases
of medical and psychiatrical care... ...so why don't they do it here?
I wonder. [Olax] Long story short:
there is no aftercare... from the Euthanasia Expertise Centre.
[Jelmer] None at all. [Tim] Okay, so: people apply for
euthanasia, but can't even get past the... ...first obstacles. The front door stays
closed. That begs the question: what happens to those people? How many of
the rejected applicants will evetually... ...commit suicide? How many get help,
get better, become happy? How many apply for euthanasia again,
this time successfully, and... ...can we prevent suicides by
keeping tabs on these people? The overarching question would be:
does the system actually work? 800 requests; 10% of those are granted.
Does anyone know what happens to the... ...people who are rejected at the front
door, be it their practicioner's, GP's... ...or the Expertise Centre's?
Where do they go? [Gerty] I'm afraid I can't tell you
either. I wouldn't exactly know. [Tim] Wouldn't it be a good idea to check
in with those people once in a while? [Gerty] Definitely. That would be a
most interesting topic to research. [Tim] If it turns out a lot of the
rejected people commit suicide... ...it would mean something's gone
amiss at the front door, I'd say. [Gerty] Yes. [Tim] It was around this time of day when
you jumped. Why wouldn't you do it at... ...night, with fewer people around?
[Robin] I didn't want to wait any longer. I felt it was the right
moment to jump. [Tim] You were that desperate, thinking:
'This is it, I'll do it.' [Robin] I thought: this is the solution;
this is what I want; I want to die. [Gerty] I think the euthanasia request
policy can surely be improved upon. My colleagues, working in mental health
care, could listen closer to their... ...patients, when it's about this subject. They should feel taken seriously when
discussing their death wish. [Robin] I'm allowed to talk about
euthanasia, now. I've been told they're... ...doing everything they can to get
me on the road to euthanasia. [Tim] That's good news!
[Robin] Yeah, I'm glad about it. [Gerty] Experience teaches us, you can
create some peace of mind, just by... ...talking to them, letting them know
they're taken seriously. Giving them perspective. Walking along
with them to explore the possibilities. [Robin] I've finally got some peace, the
last couple of days, just cause I know... ...we're working towards a solution. [Jelmer] What would help me, personally,
would be breaking the taboo on suicide... ...and euthanasia, even if you can't
force people to talk about it... [Olax] You can facilitate talking
about it, make it a lot easier... ...just by talking about it, actually. [Athaliah] I'd like to ask you
if you would come and film this. [Marije] You're not doing okay?
[Athaliah] No, there's talks about an... ...hospice now. This is what I wanted to
avoid, but nobody cared to listen. [Tim] These are your final days.
[Athaliah] Right. [Tim] Brief me.
[Athaliah] My right breast is one big... ...lump of fluids, pressing on my lungs.
My lungs are filled with fluid. I'm almost completely out of breath.
[Tim] That's what you told us would... ...happen. You told us you wanted
euthanasia, to avoid choking to death. [Athaliah] Right.
[Tim] And now you are. Now you're headed for palliative sedation,
while your own lungs are smothering you. What would have been the ideal time
to die, for you? When did you think: 'If it had happened then, it would've
been much more peaceful'? [Athaliah] About 3 weeks ago. It feels
like they've taken something from me... ...something I think I deserved. It's not as if I wasn't terminally ill.
I was! But I was young, and I had a child. Before I had a child, the argument went
'You're so young'... ...and then it became:
'But you have a child!' [Gerty] Something I've noticed in
a lot of my patients: They don't really want to die; they
just can't live; don't know how to live. They're desperate and forlorn.
And if you even just listen to them... ...they'll feel like someone finally gets
them. If that would happen more often... ...I could very well imagine a
drop in suicide rates. If they'd pick up on this more often
in mental health care practices. [Athaliah] It's so hard to accept the fact
you'll be hurting your dear ones, even... ...if you really want to do this.
It's pained me a lot. It still pains me.
And I keep apologizing. And when I do, I'm told: 'Sorry?! For
what?! You're the strongest and most... ...beautiful person I know!'. But still:
what I'm about to do will hurt them. [Tim] To summarize: the mere idea
that you could leave life behind, in a... ...humane way, would improve your lives,
for as long as you're still here. [Olax] Absolutely.
[Jelmer] Spot-on. [Olax] It'd be something to look forward
to. It would provide a new perspective! [Tim] Your funeral:
have you thought about that? [Athaliah] Sure enough,
everything's been decided. [Tim] Seriously? Tell me about it!
[Athaliah] At first, we hadn't planned... ...for a lot of people, but it's
a Surinamese tradition to... ...go out with a bang. It has to
be a party. There'll be a band. They'll be dancing with my coffin. So I
want a lot of people to attend! It wouldn't be a party with just a couple
of people. A party has to be big! [Robin] Dear Tim and Marije,
Nobody seems to understand me... ...when I talk about wanting to end
my life. 'I'm still young,' they say... ...'I've got my whole life ahead of me,
and physically I'm healthy, am I not? Everybody has their ups and downs.
Come on, never say die!' Giving up means you're weak. Well, okay,
I'm weak, then. I've been strong for a... ...very long time, and I'm done, now.
Let me go. I don't want to be strong... ...anymore. I don't want "treatment".
I want peace. It just sucks that I... ...can't talk to anyone about it. I want
to die, but suicide is not the answer. I don't want to die in fear, pain, sadness
and uncertainty. I don't want to... ...disfigure my body. But if I have to, I
will. It's not what I wanted, but I'm... ...driven towards it, because euthanasia
seems to be impossible for me. And that's regrettable, for my loved
ones as well. Losing someone isn't easy... ...let alone when you know
they have suffered. When talking about murder, it's sad that
no one should be allowed to take... ...someone else's life. Apparently no one
can be allowed to take their own, either. I hope more people will stop closing
their eyes on the subject of euthanasia. Regards,
Robin Athaliah died at the end of 2019. Shortly before her body shut down, her
wish for euthanasia was granted. In 2020, Robin started new treatments,
hoping to make life more endurable. Later that year, he took his own life. Olax and Jelmer have yet to see their
application for euthanasia granted. Special thanks to: Robin, Athaliah, Menno,
Olax, Jelmer, NVVE, Gerty and Johan. [subtitles and translation by <i>De Bozige Bui</i>]
Ik ben het aan het kijken, erg indrukwekkend.
Kan ook niet echt mijn gevoelens plaatsen over het stel wat een kind neemt met een moeder die euthanasie wil.
Iedereen heeft een ander punt van ondragelijk lijden. Helaas zien we dus dat leeftijd, zelfs met een terminale aandoening nog zo veel moeite brengt in het beëindigen van een leven. Helaas hangt er nog zo'n groot stigma op een doodswens.
De screenings, daar ben ik voorstander van. Het moet geen opwelling zijn. Maar bij al deze mensen is het heel erg duidelijk dat er geen sprake is van een opwelling. Er is over nagedacht, met heeft geprobeerd te kunnen en te willen leven. Maar hun grens van ondragelijk lijden is bereikt. En willen op een waardige en rustige manier sterven.
Verdrietig en confronterend vind ik het dat Robin niet is gegeven waar hij naar verlangde en dat Athaliah zo lang heeft moeten strijden voor haar wens. Ik had het beide, eerder, gegund. Ik hoop dat Menno en Olax zich op een pad (gaan) bevinden die hun rust en geluk brengt, welke richting deze dan ook op mag gaan.
Mijn vader heeft 3.5 jaar geleden euthanasie laten plegen. Niet terminaal, wel zijn grens van ondragelijk lijden bereikt. Mijn hoop is dat dit voor meer mensen beschikbaar gesteld gaat worden. Een manier om waardig en rustig te kunnen gaan. Zonder oordelen over de reden waarom.
Deze film gaat over thema’s als euthanasie en zelfdoding. Overleg bij twijfel met je hulpverlener voordat je kijkt. Kamp je zelf met gedachten over zelfdoding? Bel naar 113 of 0800-0113. Kijk ook op 113.nl voor hulp.
Uit persoonlijke ervaring weet ik dat euthanasie niet alleen het leven neemt van iemand, maar ook het leven van mensen eromheem kan redden. Soms is het namelijk gewoon beter om ergens een eind aan te maken in plaats van eerst iedereen die eromheem staat kapot te laten gaan.
Aan de andere kant, misschien moeten we de zorg zo inrichten dat dit nooit zou spelen, maar dat is denk bijna onmogelijk.
Mijn moeder heeft in mijn jeugd meerdere malen euthanasie geprobeerd. Kreeg elke keer weer nee. Jaren mee bezig geweest. Paar keer zelfs al toen mijn ouders al voor de "laatste afspraak" daar zaten. Dat doet ook wat met een kind. Uiteindelijk heeft ze het met al haar ziektes zeventien jaar lang uitgehouden.
Totdat het echt niet meer kon, en ik op de tweede schooldag van het jaar een smsje kreeg. Slaappillen opgespaard. Dat duurt dan best wel lang voordat je dood bent. Veel rochelen. Geen afscheid kunnen nemen omdat ze ons niet medeplichtig wilde maken. Wel mogen kijken hoe ze langzaam stikte.
Schandalig, ben er nog boos om dat ze niet veel eerder kreeg wat ze zo duidelijk nodig had.
Vind het een sterke docu. Kunnen eindeloos discussiëren hierover maar het laat wel zien dat de Nederlandse fundamenten nog steeds best conservatief zijn. In dat opzicht ook niet gek als een land met een christelijke achtergrond.
Vind vooral het stuk dat mevrouw bij de huisarts een aanvraag wil doen en die assistent heel lang stil is boekdelen spreken. Ook de 'bij moord wordt er gezegd dat niemand mag oordelen over andersmans leven. Maar we mogen blijkbaar ook niet kiezen voor ons eigen leven' vind ik een mooie samenvattende zin.
Ik had er al eerder eentje gezien van volgens mij VICE. Ik ben niet zo een huiler, maar ik kreeg toen ook echt een brok in mijn keel. Het is zo onbegrijpelijk en zo moeilijk voor te stellen hoe dat is, en ik denk dat daar ook die andere meningen vandaan komen. Je kan echt niet weten hoe het voelt en wat er in iemands hoofd omgaat op het moment dat ze echt niet meer willen of kunnen. Ik vind het zo enorm verdrietig maar ben ook zo ontzettend blij en trots dat we in Nederland zo een progressieve houding tegenover euthanasie hebben. In andere landen zou dit niet eens een optie zijn.
Uiteindelijk blijft het een enorm lastig onderwerp, maar ik zeg; luister vooral naar DEZE mensen. Zij weten echt het best hoe het voelt en hoe het is. Ze worden eigenlijk verplicht te leven, en dat is voor hen een soort marteling. Hopelijk vinden ze allemaal vrede.
Ik heb een tijd geleden een documentaire gezien van Sir Terry Pratchett. Bij deze geniale schrijver werd progressieve Alzheimer geconstateerd, waardoor hij snel achteruit ging. Hij wilde (in het VK weliswaar) een waardige dood door euthanasie, maar dat bleek zowat onmogelijk. Dat betekende dat hij bewust moest meemaken hoe zijn vermogen tot schrijven en denken aftakelde.
Hij heeft tot zijn dood gestreden voor het recht op euthanasie.
Ik denk dat het goed voor ons zou zijn als wij in onze samenleving vriendschap en vrede met de dood kunnen sluiten. Het is hartverscheurend wanneer een geliefde sterft, en het is tegelijkertijd een onontkoombaar onderdeel van ons bestaan.
Dus vertrouw mensen die niet meer kunnen willen leven, en gun hen een vreedzaam einde. Ze blijven bestaan zolang er iemand is die de herinnering aan ze koestert. Uiteindelijk verdwijnen we allemaal.
VICE heeft hier ook een documentaire over, deze vond ik ook erg sterk en zeer aangrijpend.
Persoonlijk vind ik dit belangrijke onderwerpen, omdat ik ook zo'n wens heb, maar ook de taboe voel. Door dit soort onderwerpen een platform te geven, hoe moeilijk en pijnlijk ze ook zijn, hoop ik wel dat de taboe stukje bij beetje opgeheven wordt. En de hoop dat ik het dan ook durf om openlijk, en niet anoniem over dit onderwerp te praten.