Etiquettes of Friendship | Shaykh Dr. Yasir Qadhi | Jumuah Khutbah

secondly we have three death announcements uh firstly uh in our own community uh brother ramirez javed his janazah will be taking place uh after um not this juha but the next june i will be taking place uh also in our own dallas community uh imam kashif uh from the ici his uh 14 year old daughter passed away from cancer we just attended the janaz i see that many of their faces there as well in and we also have a 13 year old who is a really relative of one of our family or one of our community members here uh harun masri the valley he passed away at the age of 13 uh in mumbai india so we ask allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to forgive all those that have passed on we ask allah to cleanse their sins to raise their ranks we ask allah to grant sabah for their family and to allow their good to continue after them inshallah foreign oh [Music] [Music] when [Music] [Music] oh [Music] i don't wanna [Music] i am feelings high yard and is alhamdulillah all praise is due to allah subhanahu wa ta'ala he is worthy of being praised for who he is and he is worthy of being praised for what he has done and we seek refuge in allah from the evil of our souls and the consequences of our actions whomever allah chooses to guide none can misguide and whomever is misguided cannot be guided back except by him i bear witness and i testify that none is worthy of worship other than allah and i bear witness and i testify that muhammad sallam is his final prophet and his most perfect worshipper as to what follows dear brothers and sisters allah has created mankind to be a social creature in fact the word in san according to our scholars in the arabic language one of the interpretations the word in san comes from untz from finding comfort in others so in san is called in san because by default insane does not live alone in sand lives with friends with family with community and we live in societies and form bonds with each other and these bonds they benefit us and at times they harm us so our sharia has come the quran in sunnah has come with guidelines to tell us who to befriend and how to befriend and what are the rights of the friend so in today's i will remind myself and all of us what are the obligations and the etiquette what are the mannerisms and even the blessings of having good friends for the sake of allah as allah reminds us in the quran that good friends they are like blood brothers in fact that is the default of a friendship all of the they should be like one family in fact our prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam even said that being a good friend and tasting the sweetness of a good friend is a sign of iman our prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam said three are the things whoever has them has perfected iman and in one report three are the things whoever does them has tasted the sweetness of iman what is one of them that a person has a friend and the only reason for this friendship is the love of allah is the sake of this religion and so this person meets with another person not because of a business transaction not because of a mutual benefit but because there's a genuine connection for allah by allah through allah our prophet said when a person reaches that level he has perfected iman and in the other hadith when he reaches that level he has tasted the sweetness of iman so the sweetness of iman is manifested in having a good friend for the sake of allah subhanahu wa ta'ala our prophet sasam told us a beautiful point of human psychology it's a beautiful hadith which has a lot of commentary and perhaps one day i'll give a whole lecture just about this hadith but hadith is very short souls of the people they are like structured art units of an army like you divide an army into different groups the souls of the people they are like units of an army that which they recognize from one another they find friendship and that which we don't don't like they turn away from one another in other words the general that's successful has to put similar groups of people and strong friends in one unit he understands the success of the army is that every group of people has to trust one another has to love one another so the true general the military successful general will categorize people based upon them getting along having strong ties and our prophet said automatically the souls of mankind they are like this type of army that when you find someone you like all of a sudden your soul finds an attraction your soul finds a friendship with them and you will find yourself coming closer and if you don't like something or someone then they go apart without even you doing anything without even saying anything and this shows us that friendship genuine friendship it is actually metaphysical it's spiritual it goes to the soul you know in english we have soul friends this is really true there's something called the friend that comes from the kalb when the cult recognizes the other the true kalib that is the loving allah they recognize another person with a similar love they will find that friendship that is coming for the sake of allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and allah reminds us in the quran allah reminds us in the quran that that friendship that brotherhood it is one of the biggest gifts that allah has given to mankind and in fact it is a priceless gift you cannot put a numerical value on the value of your friend for the sake of allah you cannot put a figure on it it is priceless it is more precious than this world this is in the quran where do we get it from allah says in the quran remember allah's blessings and allah's favors upon you he's talking to the sahaba you were enemies of one another then allah brought your hearts together upon friendship and brotherhood allah says this is a blessing allah says this is from with this brotherhood and friendship this was a divine gift that i bestowed upon you and allah reminds us in the quran if you were to spend all the money in this world to make the sahaba friends and brothers you could not have done so but allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has done so allah azzawajal literally in this verse says that friendship is priceless it's beyond a monetary figure you cannot place a figure on the value of a good friendship for the sake of allah you can try to spend and spend and spend if allah has not willed it that friendship will not happen and so brothers and sisters if islamic brotherhood is a gift from allah if a good friend is priceless well then what are the etiquettes of such a friendship how do we maintain such a friendship what does the quran and sunnah say about being brothers or for the sisters being sisters for the sake of allah subhanahu ta'ala and again as usual time is always limited but we try to insha allah summarize first and foremost our sharia has told us and this is a factually you know correct statement that we choose our friends you see there's a difference between befriending and being friendly there's a difference between befriending and being friendly we are friendly with everybody maximum amount muslim and non-muslim pious and righteous colleague and acquaintance we are friendly that's the default our prophet and there is no good in somebody who's not friendly there is no good in somebody who's stuck up who's arrogant who's snobbish there is no good and somebody who cannot act in a decent human manner with somebody else so we are friendly with everybody but we do not befriend everybody having a good friend is a higher level we choose the ones whom we associate with at a higher level we don't choose the ones we're interacting with on the street in our office that's befriending that's acquaintance but who is my sahib who is the one i choose to confide in to speak to to share my problems with that is a higher level our prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam said that only take a believer as that type of sahib have that taqwa in the person have the believing in allah azzawajal let them be upon a level of islam and of iman that makes you comfortable to seek that that friendship and then he said and to invite people to your house to have them share your meal they should have taqwa together again this is not giving food to the poor this is inviting somebody into your sanctuary into the place your wife and children are your closest friends you have to have taqwa allah the the prophet says him saying to us raise the bar even more so befriend the min and invite to your house the mutt befriend the men be friendly to everybody be friendly to everybody befriend the men and then invite the person to your house that has taqwa so we choose the friend upon the person's morality and we all know this evil friends cause us to go evil ways hence righteous friends drag us into righteousness even if we don't want to go there if we're surrounded by good people surrounded by mutaqueen surrounded by people who pray who fast who are into islamic knowledge or good is gonna rub off on us so our prophet salallahu said famously you all know the hadith you all know the hadith a person follows the religion of his friends so be careful who are you befriending a person follows the religion of his friends so be careful who you befriend so this is point number one choose your friends and if your friends are dragging you down and you're not able to drag them up spiritually if your friends are harmful to your iman to your deen and dunya well then why are they your friends you can choose your friends you be friendly to everybody but when it comes to befriending the the bar is higher and when it comes to inviting to your house the bar is even higher than this also of the etiquettes of being a muslim brother and a muslim friend of the etiquettes is the whole purpose of friendship is to help each other and to take care of the other our prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam said that allah will take care of all of a person's needs as long as that person is taking care of his friends needs allah will take care of your needs as long as you are busy taking care of the needs of other people so the true believer the true mutman asks what can i do to help or even monitors and sees asks around ask the mutual friend is everything okay with so and so in so many instances of the seerah the prophet saws is asking about somebody who's missing where is abu hurairah where's abu dharr what's happening why don't i see him he's asking he's monitoring he's noticing so-and-so is not here so is no it's sick and if he's sick go visit him if some issue is happening raising funds to help them salman al-faris he needed funds to be saved from being a slave our prophet did a fundraiser in the masjid for him this is what it means to be a friend you help your friend in need you do whatever needs to be done and subhanallah in return allah azzawajal will take care of you allah is going to take care of your needs as long as you're busy taking care of the needs of your friends this is what the hadith tells us of the etiquettes of being a friend is that we go above and beyond and we give gifts and we are generous to our friends our prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam said give gifts to one another and you will find that for the sake of allah amongst one another give gifts smallest of things but you have taken the time to show that you appreciate that friendship invite over for food invite over for generosity as our prophet sam did and as the people would do with our prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam of the etiquettes of being a friend is that when your friend invites you for a special occasion for a wedding of his child for something important then respond to that invitation because that person has prepared a meal that person has gone out of his way and that's why in the hadith our prophet said there are six rights that a believer has upon the other believer and one of them being ijaba to da'wah you respond to the invitation when a person has done something the son has graduated the daughter is getting married your friend's inviting you now he wants you to come if it is possible for you obviously if it's not possible then if it's possible don't use laziness as an excuse if it's possible our prophet said you should respond to the da'wah of your friend when he invites you this is of the etiquettes of being a friend of the etiquettes of being a friend is to genuinely care about your brother or your sister for the sake of allah and to want for him or her what you want for yourself our prophet sallallahu alaihi none of you has full iman until you love your for your brother what you love for yourself until you genuinely want your brother to be happy just like you want yourself to be happy and this is of the etiquette of friendship of the etiquettes of being a muslim friend is that you act like a mirror to your friend our prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam said the min is a mirror to the men question what does a mirror do for you why do you stand in front of a mirror you stand in front of a mirror so that you see okay am i looking good everything fine is there a mistake if i have some issue here some smudge here i need to clean it up the mirror perfects you the mirror it accentuates what is good and it tells you what is bad our prophet said every one of us should be a mirror to our closest friends every one of us they should trust us like they trust the mirror you know a sane person does not get angry at the mirror a sane person if he sees the mirror showing a smudge sawing some something wrong with his clothes he's not going to get angry at the mirror he's going to realize i need to correct myself so too the friend does not become the harsh critic the friend does not get on the nerves of the person he's correcting no like the mirror he uses a tactic he uses a methodology he uses a psychological phrase where the friend appreciates and does not criticize for pointing out a mistake so the believer acts like the mirror to his fellow believers of the etiquettes of being a friend of the etiquettes of being a friend is that the friend mentions in private and in public the good in his friend and thanks in private and in public the good that the friend has done our prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam once he gave us sermon and he said i have repaid everybody the debts that i owe them except for abu bakr al-sadiq exactly i cannot repay them in this dunya and in the other hadith he said that no person's wealth has helped me like the wealth of abu bakr al-sadiq has helped me in my life so he praised abu bakr and by the way even non-muslims got this praise our protestant praised he praised a non-muslim for an incident in the seerah for for having done some good to the muslim community so you praise your friend and you thank him publicly and privately for the good that your friend has done for you of the etiquettes of being a friend is that you do not allow the honor of your friend to be besmirched and smeared you defend the honor of your friend in public and in private so if you're in a gathering and somebody mentions your friend in a negative manner back bites even if it's true but it's backbiting even if it's true but it's behind his back the friend does not just sit there and allow this to happen no our prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam said whoever defends the honor of his brother in his absence whoever defends the honor of his brother in his absence allah will shield and defend his face from the fire of jahannam in his absence you hear your brother being besmirched you hear your reputation of your brother being dragged into the mud you don't just sit there silently no a true friend the least that they will say is look this talk should not be happening behind his back you want to say something let's bring so and so and let's have it out with that person that's the least you close this discussion and better than this if you know it to be a lie or you know the excuse is you defend and say no that's not true and such and such about my brother so defending the honor of your brother in his absence this is of the etiquettes of being a friend of the etiquettes of being a muslim friend is that if and when you discover the personal faults of your believing brother or sister the personal faults not the false affecting the larger community every one of us is a sinner and when you befriend somebody you find out some mistakes you find out some errors in judgment you might even discover a personal sin the true friend will never publicize these sins the true friend will never go behind a friend's back and tell other people about it no not at all if you must advise you advise directly to the person your friend but as for other people your mouth will remain quiet your tongue will remain shut you will never expose the faults and weaknesses and mistakes of a personal nature again we're not talking about covering up a crime against humanity no a personal fault every one of us has personal sins it's nobody's business to go talk about personal sins in public and our prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam said that whoever covers the faults of his muslim brother allah will cover his faults on the day of judgment whoever covers the faults of his muslim brother allah will cover his faults on the day of judgment of the etiquettes of being a friend common sense but the hadith explains it in a lot more detail is that you don't do something foolish that is going to break that friendship you act in a manner with utmost compassion with love with concern and you don't do things they're going to break that friendship in the famous hadith bukhari and muslim it's a beautiful and long hadith our prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam don't be jealous of your friend don't hate your friend don't spy on your friend don't find out the latest gossip about your friend hasa means to find out gossip don't just ask for the sake of gossip some scandal something no don't do that you don't outbid your friend if your friend has made a bid on a car on a property and you know that your friend has made a bid it is haram in the sharia it is haram and some madhhab say that your bid will become unethical and void that when you find out your friend has been on the car you then go to the owner and you try to outbid him unless it is an open bid you know that type of stuff like the the the the the bids that happen uh that are open for everybody but if it's a private bid and you know your friend has bid then this is called that you go behind his back and you try to outbid him doesn't work that way it is haram to do this because you're going to break the the bonds of friendship and our prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam then said all of you servants of allah be intimate to one another the muslim is the brother of the other muslim all of these are the etiquettes of being a friend of the etiquettes of being a friend is that you make dua for your friends when they're not in front of you you remember them when they're not in front of you you raise your hands to allah and you think of them one by one by name and you make a specific dua oh allah my brother ahmadi is going through an issue now solve that issue oh allah mustafa his child is sick cure that child oh allah so and so he's going to financial hardship and you make dua for your brethren subhanallah can you imagine the purity of a society where everybody is privately making dua for everybody else can you imagine the society will be raised to what level and not just this but our lord is so generous our prophecism is so compassionate they gifted us when we do that they gifted us what is the gift our prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam said that never does a muslim raise his hand and ask allah for his muslim friend and brother a good except that an angel comes down and says ameen to your dua and now i'm making dua that you get the same thing that you made dua for your brother for if you made dua that oh my brother is going through financial times make it difficult to give him wealth an angel will be sent down and say oh allah give him wealth as well if your brother's child is sick and you're asking for cure the angel will come and say oh allah protect this man's children as well whatever dua you make the angels are making dua for you why then are we so stingy brothers and sisters why are we stingy to raise our hands up to allah and make dua for our brothers and sisters just ask allah for the good it's going to purify our hearts it's going to cleanse our hearts of hassa than evil and it will bring good for the brother and for me of the etiquettes of being a friend is that you inform your friend for the sake of allah that you have a special connection with them our prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam said when one of you loves your brother for the sake of allah inform him of that inform him before it is too late and you cannot do that make sure you do so in this dunya you don't know when your friend will leave and so before it is too late make sure your friends know you have that special connection with them and go to them and say i love you for the sake of allah you have done so much good to me i appreciate all the good that you have done before it is too late to do so of the etiquettes of being a friend is that when the inevitable happens one of you two will go first either you or your friend when that day comes and you're able to pray janazah then you go out of your way and you pray janazah for your friend you sacrifice out of your routine if need be and if it's possible you fly in to pray the janazah that is of the sick that the prophet mentioned is that you pray the janazah for your friend so you try your utmost what is reasonable and allah knows what is reasonable whatever is reasonable for you once your friend passes away or the other way around if your turn comes and he is alive you want to do this much for each other that you fly in or you come in or you drive or whatever is possible whatever is reasonable and if it's unreasonable and you try to attend the janazah of your friend of the etiquettes of being a good friend is that even after your friend has gone you keep in touch with their family and friends and you show their family and friends that your friendship meant something to you even when they're gone you keep in touch with their family and their friends and it is authentically narrated that our that the prophet salallahu a lady came to him and aisha did not recognize that lady and the prophet sam softened to her immensely and he opened the door and he gave her food and he was so compassionate her elderly lady says who is this lady what i've never seen her you know what the process said he said this was khadija's best friend this was khadija's friend and now khadija is no more and then he said and being good to the friends of your friends to being good to those who were befriending your loved ones it is a part of iman khadija's friend came 20 years after she's coming to visit the process 15 years after she's coming to visit the prophet sallam and the prophet sam is giving her so much iqram why being good to the friends of your friends being good to the family of your friends it is a part of iman and so a part of our iman a part of being a friend is that even when the friend moves on then you keep in touch with their friends and family to indicate that that friendship meant something to you and of the etiquettes of being a good friend is that even after they've moved on you make dua for them you make sincere du'a for them and that is a never-ending thing as long as you are alive you will continue to make dua for your friend allah azzawajal says in the quran those who come afterwards they make dua to allah oh allah forgive us and forgive the believers who came before us forgive all of the movements who came before us so we ask allah for forgiveness for our friends if they've moved on and all of these are of the etiquettes of being a good friend brothers and sisters our prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam reminded us that a good friend he is like a seller of perfume he is like a seller of perfume either you will purchase perfume from him or he will gift you perfume or in the very least his presence will bring you perfume you are always going to benefit from a good friend and a time will come when that perfume will no longer be there so you will no longer sense that perfume and that friendship but he reminded us that that is what a good friend is it brings a special scent brings a special beauty and our prophet told us the quran tells us that on the day of judgment on the day of judgment one of the people who will be sheltered under the shade of allah one of the seven categories of people who will be saved from the punishments on the day of judgment are two people who were friends for the sake of allah they met for the sake of allah and they parted ways for the sake of allah and the quran tells us on the day of judgment the closest of friends will become enemies the closest of friends will become enemies except for the people of taqwa they will remain friends on the day of judgment a good friendship doesn't last just a lifetime a good friendship lasts for all of eternity on the day of judgment friends will be together on the day of judgement they will comfort together and not just this but they shall enter jannah together the people will be brought into jannah in batches in batches allah has refused to allow people to enter jannah all alone nobody is going to enter jannah all alone rather allah will resurrect batches of sincere friends together and friends will enter jannah together because they found comfort in this dunya together so allah will allow their comfort to continue in the akhirah and a man came to the prophet salallahu when is the day of judgment the prophet saselam said what have you prepared for it so the man said i don't have much good deeds but i love allah and i love you ya rasulallah i love you ya rasulallah so the prophet sallam said a man shall be with those whom he loves in jannah a man shall be with those whom he loves in jannah ana malik said that wallahi when we heard this hadith we were never as happy since having accepted islam as we were when we heard this hadith because he explained why he said as for me ana said as for me i don't have much good deeds that's ana speaking imagine i don't have much good deeds but i know that i love allah and his messenger so i have hope that insha allahu ta'ala i will be with the messenger in jannah brothers and sisters think long and hard about who your friends are appreciate the good friends amongst them follow these etiquettes and that friendship will be a source of blessings in this world a source of happiness in this world a source of intercession on the day of judgment and will provide you comfort not just in this dunya but may allah bless me and you with him through the quran and may he make us of those whose verses they understand and applies throughout our lifespan i ask allah's forgiveness you as well ask him dear muslims today there is a global campaign taking place in many different cities across the world to bring attention to the plight of our brothers and sisters our muslim brothers and sisters in china as we are aware for the last half a decade if not more in fact the oppression has been many decades but it has ratcheted up in the last five or six years or so the chinese government has rounded up over a million people and began to indoctrinate them in concentration camps the likes of which have not been seen since world war ii and they are forcing our muslim brothers and sisters to abandon their faith it is not a genocide it is an ethnocide they want to keep the bodies of these people alive but remove the iman of their hearts they want to keep the bodies alive for their factories but they want to remove the ethnic identity their weaker heritage their uyghur language and of course the weakers are all muslims of that region and so they have begun this vicious campaign which the u.n has seen and acknowledged and the global world is aware of today multiple organizations around the world are launching campaigns and public awareness demonstrations being held in washington dc in london in johannesburg in melbourne and australia across the globe and imams have been told to raise awareness over and over again because even if we cannot physically do something the least is they cannot be forgotten we can make dua we can raise awareness and the government the chinese government it does not want this thing to be known it's trying to cover it up therefore bbc and others have done amazing exposes i encourage you to read them so it's our job to raise the awareness make dua do whatever we can and indeed sometimes the situation is hopeless i understand but that doesn't mean we give up hope and that doesn't mean we do nothing the least we can do make dua for our brothers and sisters and do what we can to raise awareness the one thing that perhaps might have an effect is the public shaming of this country is the claim that this country china is engaged in human rights violations of the highest magnitude perhaps that might send a message for them to at least rethink through it is better than nothing so the least we can do find out what's going on find out who to contact find out how to raise public awareness and make dua for our brothers and sisters in that region foreign foreign brothers we have too many people outside please try to squeeze in as much as possible leave no gaps leaving no gaps in sha allah in [Music] [Music] [Music] my [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] allah allah allah allah oh [Music] [Music] [Music] a [Music] [Laughter] allah allah welcome okay god you

Channel: EPIC MASJID

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Keywords: East Plano Islamic Center, EPIC Masjid, East Plano Masjid, EPIC, Yasir Qadhi, Imam, Nadim Bashir, Ustadh, Baajour, Hafiz, Sajjad Gul, Allah, Quran, Islam, mosque, masjid

Id: cy2dLUElUgk

Length: 44min 25sec (2665 seconds)

Published: Fri Jul 29 2022