esperanza spalding & The Songwrights Apothecary Lab: conversation & shareback

yes hmm good morning is yes you drink foreign are you doing principles oh like [Applause] okay welcome everybody hello thank you for coming ding dong hi um this is a formula in process so in the meantime let me introduce you to leonardo and aaron burnett on the saxophone yes fashionably right on time mr matthew stevens [Applause] um and i also just like to acknowledge fernando lodero who's our engineer and doing the sounds today [Applause] this is a formula in process we'll talk about these later but this is formula [Music] eleven [Music] me [Music] me [Music] um [Music] oh [Music] you clap i got a very gentle see if it's for me i got a very gentle and generous note from a friend who's seven who came to the share back last night and her note was can you talk less and do more music so we're going to incorporate that loving feedback and um i'm already breaking it right now because i i feel so compelled to talk but um we're just going to play some more formulas and then talk about them later also that's kind of look here we go i'm going to do it it's also calling in um some of the guidance of one of our council members dr susan hansar who every time i want to tell her about a new song that or something that i'm working she's like no no no no no let me just hear it first and get the experience and then i'll talk about it later naming thank you dr suzanne hansen this is formula nine but i think i think it might actually be amulet one because the song is an amulet it's different than a formula so this is ambulate amulet one all ready okay am i ready can you let your real feeling shine can't she let her real feeling shine if the answer isn't yes and yes you probably walk in enchanted with her [Music] don't trade their beautiful part of it's making you believe she's really with you and whatever you'll be rambling on about but how could anybody else really know what it's like to be [Music] of course you'll get hooked on the substitute for sanctity you never felt or treated yourself too in a body seeking power to [Music] now here [Music] mind who you led into [Music] and who is [Music] it could be the bliss of being a loving sexual adult that doesn't need to consummate some other more addictive version of what you already is who wants to drink [Music] so [Music] where is to remember that you're not a drone over by your dick [Applause] [Music] oh well just for a little bit of talking context talking based context um that amulet is um intended to serve as a protective force field to protect you from the enchantment of another when you feel yourself being like sucked into an enchantment the idea is maybe you don't have the like the the strength or the suppleness or the surrenderness in that particular moment to kind of like you know move away or be non-entangled so the idea is you can utilize the song like an amulet um which is all fine and dandy and and that prompt grew out of a combination of being a person who's susceptible to enchantment and being guilty of waving my magic wand and enchanting others or at least convincing myself that i was enchanting others um and as we were working on that and discussing these themes like narcissism and how we can get sucked into narcissistic relational patterns i remembered that i had had like a come to jesus about how a way i had enchanted someone caused a lot of harm and i thought that a companion to that formula could and should be a formula that is a kind of accountability like self-accountability of when you've been on the other side of that enchantment and have enchanted and it's caused harm and loss and loss of connection so um inspired by some of the writings of elder meladoma somme around um exhuming pain in public within community so that it can't fester and grow this is perhaps a formula to tend some of those festering owies that come from us realizing we've caused harm boy [Music] this is formula 10 well it's formal attendant process [Music] i saw what i wanted and took it for me with all the strings attached like this supposed to be i didn't know how deep some feelings can go and you can really do some damage down there in the soul of another [Music] i wanted and got it opened up to me so fast i didn't learn the dance of how to treat these beings that walk and talk and breathe and you can really do some damage down here in [Music] right [Music] [Music] may you find us [Music] too it's not to absorb responsibility and there's no going back the scars are plain to see i this is a way to make the damages clear so i won't do another that way nobody watching off us to make sure we don't waste love cupped right to our face can you see it can you taste it can it be [Music] mayo [Music] too [Music] we could be oh our drummer's not here today that's why there's this sad department in the stage it's like oh um but our dear brother and ally and this glorious entity francisco mela has been with us these days um developing these formulas so shout out to francisco um papamela could we try something um there's a formula that is has we haven't started really putting it together yet but i love to try for those who are willing to sing to hear how these two parts go together um it feels like at the end of this formula we're encouraging each other to let the smoke screen fall and the way that like particulates in air collect water and can become clouds which can create rain it's this image of letting go of the desire to hold the shape of the smoke screen and release all that water that's needed and being held up by the pressure of trying to hold this illusion of us being okay with the smoke screen um so at the end there's this like throw back and forth that could be really beautiful so can i just no pressure can i just get a show of hands if anybody will be willing to sing and try that three people great about over here okay it's not enough people it's okay we'll just put on the record you can buy it the songwriterspothklab.com um consent isn't is important you know i don't put no pressure on people to say um so never mind we'll move right along to uh formula seven come on ah well you know oh no now you wanna sing now you wanna sing okay okay they say everything you chase runs away then when you run away you chase it okay okay cool great let's do it so um one part says give up the rain give up the rain give up the rain give up the rain [Music] give up the rain give up the rain give up the rain beautiful the other part says we could be rain we could be rain we could be rain oh sounds so beautiful y'all sound good i see you with holding cause you know you had something precious like you don't get it for free do i get a cut to be all of that um okay so they interlock i need somebody who has really good sense of time to play this with me the first time anybody anybody any takers head shakes okay um yes i'll show you good thank you leo maybe maybe your side is half and half sure um two percent like 98 cool um essentially when the other person says the word rain you start okay so it's like give up the rain give up the rain hold your reign i mean release the reigns to the divine but let your you know hold the note rain hold the rain until you start again okay um cool give up the rain give up the rain give up the rain give up the rain give up the rain give up the rain okay okay okay okay [Music] there was a constant there that was so magical there was a constant there it sounded like there was one note going through all of us right but that's not physically true but this other constant supporting us emerged can we do it again just for joy and bliss purposes which are functional give up the rain give up the rain give up the rain give up the rain give up the rain give up the rain give up the rain give up up the rain give up the rain give up the room [Music] [Music] beautiful [Applause] thank you very much now we know what that could be cool okay that was an experiment for us as well thank you leo for not letting me give up [Applause] okay i'm holding shyla's note about not talking and just we're just gonna do it and i'll tell you about it later okay [Music] hearing is a labor like reading hearing is a labor like keeping still here is a labor like sea like seeing seeing for real hearing is a labor like reading hearing is a labor like keeping still hearing is a labor like sea like seeing seeing for real [Music] oh [Music] oh [Music] in [Music] [Music] oh [Music] hearing is labor like keeping still hearing is a labor like seeing like sea sea [Applause] [Music] okay now whoo just announcing we're going to make the transition into the talk talk talk talk part so you can like recalibrate into the hearing that kind of hearing dimension ality um well as we sort of get the chairs up on the stage i'll just tell you that for those of you who don't know what the hell we're talking about over here just know that we barely do so we're in good company um but this is the songwrites apothecary lab this is the third well really fourth but edition of it happening in lower manhattan here at the clemente as part of the riverdale river festival yes and the way that the lab works is to be discovered every time we do it we discover a little bit more about it um so the shape of it currently is us musicians we come in with some prompts or with just a willingness to explore and be open and we are in conversation with in exploration with in guidance and support with certainly unseen forces but the embodied versions of those forces some of those forces are our research team and what i call the council so our researchers are folks who are invested as students devoted as students in paths that relate to healing to therapeutic practices in this case neuroscience and psychology and our counsel are beings who are professionals in fields that relate to therapy and art so in this case today with us in the room today music therapy and drama therapy and psychology um so that's that's like the constellation of beings that are joining energies and exploring for the sake of creating works that are informed by what can be found through that kind of research and dialogue because it's so we're going to just talk a little bit about who we are what we've been doing and just for those of you for some people to know we didn't actually get a chance to do our check-in and like update today so we're just going to have it right here with all of y'all so that's about to happen i introduce to you dr marisol norris [Applause] okay and doctoral candidate britton williams had to get my nomenclature right and grant jones and navy ravi are researchers i haven't i haven't vaccinated but i'm just doing this because because um first i just want to read a poem about mushrooms and also beaming in argan aviator is also like the the lead researcher or supporting navy and grant in their research uh she is beaming in from italy she's in the fellowship right now and also being again is lily who devised the environment this luscious mushroom mycelial rich environment that this is happening in but i really have to read this poem about mushrooms for y'all this is by sylvia plath and the poem is called mushrooms i don't know how it's related overnight very whitely discreetly very quietly our toes our noses take hold on the loam acquire the air nobody sees us stops us betrays us the small grains make room soft fists insist on heaving the needles the leafy bedding even the paving our hammers our rams earless and eyeless perfectly voiceless widen the crannies shoulder through holes unlike that person we died on water on crumbs of shadow bland mannered asking little or nothing so many of us so many of us we are shelves we are tables we are meek we are edible nudgers and shovers in spite of ourselves our kind multiplies we shall by morning inherit the earth our foots in the door thank you sylvia plath thank you okay okay exactly it's like mushrooms man not for real so um what i thought we could do first in my notebook that got washed is just touch on the the each formula intention so we came in here with a lot of really cool ideas you know what i mean we were like oh we're gonna make a formula for that and a formula for this and a formula and through our conversations the intentions kind of settled and shifted and morphed and so now i'll just kind of do an overview of the formulas we've landed on that will ultimately go out to become the formulas that have come from the lower manhattan songwriter care lab so we have a formula that's formula number eight and the spirit of that formula is a formula that creates a sense of home that's so comfortable you don't need to leave you don't need to go you don't need to strive or effort we have a formula that we mentioned the amulet formula nine amulet number one and the intention is to create a force field to protect from the enchantments of others formal attend is that reckoning it's a place to be in reckoning and accountability and maybe even just the space to name for ourselves do that inventory for the sake of making it legible and maybe we'll be less likely to initiate the same kind of harm again formula 11 is a formula that you heard first that is a formula to help us slow down from our frenetic busy i'm a professional i'm running everything i'm doing my life i'm in control and i'm so busy i don't have time to talk to my grandma or my elder neighbor or my old great auntie it's a formula to help us busy youngins slow down slow down to a pace where we can actually be present with hold space for and listen to our elders it's a preparatory song for when we are going to spend time with elders and are up here um formula 12 which will happen not in this room because it involves an elder that couldn't meet our timeline so we have to slow down and we'll come back in august to be with that elder and co-create that formula with that elder but formula 12 is a formula for reminding us critters us young critters our younger critters that we need the wisdom the presence the knowing the teaching the memory of our elders particularly women elders it's that and it's simultaneously intended to be a throne to a throne for our elders to sit in particular our women elders to feel revered and valued and needed and necessary and glorious and resplendent and funky and all the things all the beautiful things um i forgot one formula seven i'm almost done talking i'm hearing shayla's voice in my ear um this is funny formula seven formula seven formula seven first we intended it to be the song equivalent of the wrap it up device uh if any of you seen the dave chappelle show when you are caught in the clutches of someone who's talking so much so much and it is like not not attuned to the feedback you're giving them subtly with body language and like you know trying to add punctuation that you can't you don't want to listen anymore to the like outpouring so the intention was for that formula to be with you and you utilize it somehow we hadn't gotten that far um to to quell that dynamic so the person can gently stop talking and other things can continue to happen yeah so those are the formulas that we're working with i'm going to stop talking and hand it to y'all so hi everyone i think one of the things that are coming to mind right now is just the intentionality that's placed within music so my background is as a music therapist i've worked for music there as a music therapist for probably around 10 11 years and also an educator in philadelphia and one of the points that i'm noticing across the formulas and i think one of the early conversations i had with esperanza in the beginning stages of the apocary is to be able to think about how we match intentionality with multiple streams of our our creative force right and so you know as we speak them it seems like of course of course we use music to transform to heal to shift energy to connect but to have that level of intentionality within our work is what you know oftentimes what music therapy talk in music therapy talk considers goals interventions those different things but here um in a different space different form different shapes still utilizing intention for key good right and so it kind of makes me think a little bit about you know when we started uh that collective improv with consent and consent to speak and to voice and consent to be silent right um there you know typically when we think about any type of vocal improv there was research that was done around choral singing and what happens within choral singing right and so typically when you start getting it within a group collective soundscape or sound making there are various parts of our bodies that start to align not only our words aligning that also links the different neural pathways it links to um the physiological aspects of our body starting to sync up right so our breathing starts now to sync up and then it kind of carries on beyond a space it's a place where connection can come right and so we do that often we do a lot of different things often that later on i think i think sometimes we think what comes first the chicken or the egg i often think is the collective music making the creation that comes and then we find ways to make sense of those things oftentimes through research and science and the ways in which that evolves but being able to name those things are so very important because then we see that the things that we think are mundane or the things that we think that are just part of our everyday practice yeah it makes us feel good we recognize no it makes us feel good for a reason right and there's so much there's so much history behind it sometimes it's ancestral knowing sometimes it's ancestral knowledge um that's also been backed by science and so when you talk about these formulas that's one of the things that comes to mind is just like how intention and how naming something can be so very important in the work that we do i love that i want to riff a little bit off the idea of intention and speak to nurturance but before i do i just have to say i love that it's formula seven and the wisdom of a seven-year-old there just seems to be something that's a greater wisdom that exists in that and a trust that the music that is created the music that is co-created will tell me the story i need to hear and of course a seven-year-old would have that wisdom because it's the older we get the more we feel like we need to talk these things through and think our way through and the younger we are we just know that we have it in us it's in us and the sound that i make is the story so i just had to like name that and you started with mushrooms and i love mushrooms i love that mushrooms are all around us and i'm thinking the first time i was in this space learning about you know the nurturance that's required for the mushrooms to grow and that if the mushrooms aren't in their ideal environment it might inform the way that they grow and so just a riff from a drama therapy point of view i often am thinking about the space that gets created that allows for us to have the improvisational the spontaneity imperative which from a drama therapeutic perspective our capacity for spontaneity and creativity is a direct link to our our health and so if the mushrooms need nurturance so that they can grow the way that they need to grow we too of course as people need nurturance so we can grow as we need to grow which means that when you give us the call of you know how we sing the rain can we let it go we may be the rain that we can trust the spontaneity the creativity that grows because you lay a road map and in that then i can find my own way and the formulas for me have a sense of that that if there's an emergence right even in the the space that is being created today many times you've said you know this is still being created and so of course in that that means that there's space for emergence which means there's space for health right that it is in the space where i can trust that something can emerge that i don't have to pre-plan that i don't have to so rigidly control that i can find something that might be greater than if i just sit there and think it the other last thing i just want to say to what i love about a formula of accountability as people who are in relationship to other people it is inevitable that we will cause harm that is an inevitability a risk we always take in relationship so it's one of the scariest things about relationship and it's one of the biggest sources of shame when we hurt people right think of like children again i just the wisdom of children is always it'll never lead us astray right they hurt someone and they all the sudden you know they see that they've hurt someone and you know they bite your finger and you go ow and then you see the face and you see the recognition oh i've caused you harm that this is something that we always feel a threat against will i hurt someone and then not be accepted by them there has to be a space to name as you said esperanto we have to name it accept it as part of just being human and it's when i then name it that i can face it because if i don't name it i can't face it if i don't face it i can't work my way through it so to create a space through music where we can acknowledge something that is so inherent to our relational being where i can say i am a human being which means that sometimes i cause harm even if it's not my intention can i find my way through that through being surrounded and sound where someone else is also telling me i know that experience too and then i remember i'm not alone in this i'm not i this is not a britain thing this is a human thing right because i got to take accountability for that too thank you all um for all the brilliance that has been shared musically cerebrally spiritually emotionally just thank you everyone really because we're all co-creating this experience right now um which is the most amazing part about this emergent being that we all are um are collectively worthy so again my name is grant jones and i've been one of the researchers um for the lower manhattan songwriters apothecary lab um it's been it's been a blessing it's been a marathon it's been um it's been a deep rest it's been all the things um and what um just i i think it would be nice to give you all a sense of kind of um what um some of the work has entailed in terms of what it means to you know be a play the role of sit in the shoes of sit in the seat of um of researcher for for this particular moment um and then i'll also pass it to nivea who i'm sure will have some beautiful reflections as well um so so research um here in this moment has has meant um expanding and broadening um what research even is i i um as esperanza mentioned um i'm a phd student um right now and as you all probably can imagine research looks a very particular way with you know peer-reviewed articles and going through uh review boards to make sure that our studies meet a certain protocol and we produce a certain results that's filled with the certain numbers and metrics and then that becomes knowledge and then that knowledge becomes science and the science is what we know um and so and that and that's not to denigrate that there's there's something to that and it allows us to create a repository of sorts and some of our research has flowed from that place so for some of these formulas we look at peer-reviewed articles for instance for the formula for accountability um i spent time looking at a doctoral thesis that that explored music therapy as it intersects with restorative justice in the ways that music therapy practices can be of support for helping not only um to help individuals who are harmed within uh within a um a victim um and harmer you know died out if we're going to want to make it that simple but also what what can music do and how can it be of support to help um to help individuals who have caused harm what can it mean to have music be a container where individuals can step in to to the fact that they've caused harm how can music help for communication if maybe language is is um is too much and um and maybe you know the space and the safety for a conversation um isn't there maybe music can become a a a um a platform for for those kind of conversations to happen and so that just gives you all a sense these you know there's many articles that we've poured over and mulled over and complicated and um and uh and explored um but that just gives you know a lens into kind of what some of some of that research proper is um but i think for me what it's really meant to be a researcher is to um you know take uh you know we would take these um we would take these articles and take this um cerebral knowledge and then we'd get together and we'd sit down and we'd chat and i would be like okay so like here here's this you know here's this like research um and then for me i think what was the most beautiful magical um but also like of course in this element of of that process was that the these peer-reviewed articles and the complication that necessarily follows in trying to ingest something um uh you know with clarity and in ingest something with all of its limitations and all that's and all of its inherent complications means that it becomes a port key it becomes a a doorway um for for for really tapping into some of that incessant knowing when you when you when you peel back you know the limitations of some of our knowledge it becomes ultimately a seat for for so many unforeseen forces to flow through when you're when you're really an earnest sitting with the fact that maybe there's something that this is activating within you and you don't know why it's activating something in your body or it's it's something um to you know use i'm gonna borrow a um a an expression it like it hits you you know you know it's just like it just like does that you know it comes and it's like i don't know what that is but like it's something and that's something maybe it's like from your auntie or maybe it's from your mom or maybe it's from like this thing that somebody said to you on the street the other day that felt super resonant it's like oh my god like that's amazing um maybe it's all of that and maybe that's what we're always doing all the time and in fact in my process i feel like that it is what i'm doing all the time and and and sitting down and creating a container in which those um we can invite all the sources of the reality of how we actually know information and how we actually hold information inviting that all into the space it becomes a place in which we can actually now um do um do a character do do a stewardship of sorts of of the information as we hold it within our various experiences into the music as it needs to flow as it feels um as it flows emergently um and so that's been really what it's meant for at least in my process to be a researcher and it's been amazing because kind of as we've been saying like that process never stops it's like it's something that we all get to um in this moment and in the moments that follow um investigate for ourselves and this investigation um that's being opened here is um you know there are formulas that will come but it's but it's i i hope and i feel that it can be the start of a different type of inquiry that we can all um you know invest in and explore together so so yeah [Applause] i just realized something i forgot to do land acknowledgement at the beginning um so i would just love to do land acknowledgement i'm sorry everybody this is a practice that i hold very dear and i forgot so if we could just take a moment whoo i acknowledge that the land we're standing on is the leni lenape land and i acknowledge people who are still present who are still here and offer gratitude and humility and a commitment to learn more about how my existence can be closer to an ally to the descendants of this land that was um brutally seized and were still within the boundaries of the colonial occupation of la nilanape land this is la la napilan and it's our our privilege of sorts to be able to hold this work here thank you thank you thank you and thank you all for the wisdom that you've shared especially grant for encapsulating our experience so eloquently hi my name is navy i'm also a researcher in the songwriter apothecary lab and as grant has mentioned and laid out this framework for our research over the past week or so we've really been drawing from different avenues of knowing and knowledge and i thought maybe it would it would be interesting to hear about what some of this looks like in practice so um esperanza mentioned how some of the formulas are related to honoring the elder women in our society and making space and breath to listen to them and learn from them so i've looked into feminist theory and particularly the overlap of ageism and feminism and how the well-being of elder women is discussed very minimally in our in our present society and so in a society um in a capitalist society that values productivity and places value on producing a lot of our society urges elder women to produce in some way however what would it look like if we gave elder women the space elder people in general this space to just be and to be an advisory role in our society so that has been something that i've been looking into and has informed some of the formulas that we are learning about and there's this essay that audre lorde writes in which she speaks to younger women and asks them to examine the living memories in our community and there there's a lot of knowledge in what she offers in this essay and a lot of wisdom and it just relates back to what grant was saying about this inner knowing that we do have living memories in our community and by reading this essay we're reminded again something about something that we know inside and i think that has been eye-opening as well to see your own thought process and your own inner reflection reflected in the pieces that you are reading in academia or in mythology and that's been really special to dive into as well yeah thank you thank you [Applause] well there's a lot of people involved in this lab and i just want to name i just want to name some of them out of celebration you know um eloise doc and nanette nelms and lilly chopra and i said fernando ladero and t.l benson and mike yay and i'm forgetting the names of the people who do in the live stream but you are amazing and gratitude to you um and who else who else a lot of people all of y'all glories um and leo jenna bassey and matthew stevens and aaron burnett you know we want to hear from you too if anything's moving did you want to share reflect call down call in throw down unfold fold i say something yes please no it's okay is this uh catching my [Laughter] hello voice okay now i just wanna say that in some of the pieces you heard we had a little bit more time to work on than other ones you heard perhaps you did not notice or perhaps you did we certainly did but i want to say that that doesn't seem important right now there is something that um yeah some magic power that the music carries that transcends the concept of mistakes and the concept of rehearsing and preconceived ideas and it's something that has to do with purpose and when you just go for it you always make it even if you're not making it you always make it yeah that's all you have to say thank you okay wait am i am i on the internet now too yeah all right i'm blocked by these things so maybe you can't see me well all i can say is like i'm very happy to be a part of this project in this lab because it is very uplifting it's showing like you know camaraderie is showing like creative camaraderie like a lot of things that i look for in my life are here right now you know and it's a lot of love a lot of the music is very spiritual to me you know very spiritual like you know touches me makes me uh appreciate you know being here breathing air every day that i'm on god's earth i'm happy you know and it's this is a wonderful experience and you know this world right now especially through all we've been through and y'all know what i'm talking about um we need a lot of love a lot of healing a lot of understanding a lot of listening we need a lot of those things right now and um yeah i'm being really uh i feel like being preachy but it's it's okay you know i love all of you here and i thank you for being here and um that's pretty much all i have to say i'm a saxophone player i mean i could talk for days so yeah let's just i'm just gonna give this away now [Music] can i say one more thing there's been a very humor no i'm not gonna say it we're just gonna make music thank you all so much for being here and um helping us learn about what we're doing you know we're exploring we're it's a lab and it's just been so blissful to receive the people who choose to come here and like give your time which is the most precise precious sacred thing you have your time and attention like offer it into the space because it helps us find the shape of it and feel what we're talking about what we're doing about so just really thank you thank you thank you thank you for for coming in and holding this place i forgot to mention elizabeth i can't pronounce your last name also one of the beings that made this possible praise and i just like to shout out to all of the the students that were in the songwriting apothecary lab this last spring one of whom was grant jones it really really helped form like the feel in the shape of this and dr norris is one of the council members for that lab so just in case you're watching you know your presence and devotion and hard work really was so integral for me and us to discover what more of what we're doing here it's really hard to stop talking but i'm going to now we're going to play music and then that's the end and thanks for tuning in [Music] my god [Applause] okay okay okay okay well remember how i was talking about that formula um whoa that has to do with you can please join in the singing if you feel so inclined i want to let you know that this is the end of the program this is the end of the program you i invite you to depart and we will accompany you as you leave so you can carry the sound into the street into the evening into the next part of your day we're probably not going to stop for a while but you will have to leave so it's going to be interesting um yeah just thank you all again please sing please also leave when it's time to leave and please take the music with you when you go when it's time to sing you can you can join me i'll i'll bring us in [Music] [Music] so [Music] um [Music] so [Music] so [Music] hmm [Music] hmm [Music] so [Music] my [Music] [Music] um [Music] um [Music] ah [Music] ah [Music] ah [Music] ah [Music] ah [Music] ah [Music] ah [Music] god [Music] ah [Music] um [Music] oh [Music] um [Music] oh [Music] on [Music] [Applause] wait that looks like too you

Channel: Esperanza Spalding

Views: 10,523

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Id: PSHAiMhK7O8

Length: 88min 10sec (5290 seconds)

Published: Sat Jun 19 2021