Episode 9 - Brooke Ambushes Her Celebrity Crush (ft. Brittany Broski) | Brooke and Connor

my grandparents who i'm really close with they got married when they were 17 18. had my parents really like then yeah uh or my mom and then my mom had me when she was 27 and i mean my mom had met my dad by by this point and i'm writing matthew gregory gubler fan fiction so that's god damn terrifying man yeah i was thinking about that the other day you just bought the premium wallpaper and i am subscribed for life babe i was thinking about that the other day like i was i was at my parents house and uh my grandpa's purple heart is on display and a picture of him jumping out of a plane to kill nazis and he was my age and i cried on the phone with spectrum trying to reset the router we are moving at a different pace [Laughter] [Music] i know that i'm gonna just get ripped to shreds for my pants engagement babe it's true i have things to say but i'll save it i hope please yay i was like oh we're gonna we're gonna clash being nice to each other no cause i'm tasteful and yours is just painting you were painting not a fan of the arts famously no i'm not i'm wearing a rascal flats t-shirt i'm not a fan of the arts michelangelo twitter is ripping you to michelangelo would have loved rascal flats today i think so is no one going to say anything about my outfit i love your outfit i've complimented you three times simple yet collaborative yeah i made the sweater yeah no good job making a sweater oh there's a sweater that you were making yes it's done yes it's done do you remember me asking about lady ephron lore do you remember when you um made the tick tock series of you knitting that scarf like in the pool was it a scarf or what word no i was knitting so you know tom daley the olympic diver and now famous knitter he famously he came out with a knitting line and i was like i need to support him in his knitting because there's nothing i care about more in the world than pro dive or become pro knitter right and classic pipe classic pipeline so i purchased um a sweater that he had made and it came just the yarn just balls of yarn and needles and i was like oh not what i was expecting but i i can i'm up for the challenge have not touched it since i cr i'm i did knit in the via the pool with what you're wearing i think i posted that on instagram i was knitting in the hot tub just like the back of the cardigan that i thought i was getting as a full cardigan um but i have not touched it since okay and that makes sense but yeah i was just really excited to show you on my sweater and i am it's more i'm gonna stand up just to give you full body yeah yeah audio listeners it says can you please it says flop error type it well i can't i have to hold the microphone oh [ __ ] well you can put it down in all okay me and very narrowly we'll describe so what we're hearing here we're seeing here's a cross stitch really great presentation it says flop era and a nice beige color and the lettering is in white and all caps all caps nice ballooning of the sleeves fits very well you can steal things with those sleeves shoplifting will become a breeze in this flop era handmade knit order now for 19.95 plus shipping and handling yeah for sure that's really great thank you guys and all credits to our friend sally who wrote up the the pattern for this i simply just followed it how did she learn how to do it youtube and you know what she is i could never in a million years watch a youtube tutorial and figure out how to do something five seconds in i'm sobbing i was about to say uh frustration yeah frustration crying and i am this is more of just like meant to be an art piece not so much meant to be worn due to the fact that i think i'm getting chickenpox from it and you are from itching and i'm uncomfortable so give me just give me just one second to remove this from my body and then i'll be right back with you in no time at all talks amongst yourself please we'll be over here well speaking of of clothing i do want to address your fit food you just came you just came from the construction site what the hell is this where were you working your mom's house actually jesse that's a great room your mom's house was broken into and i was there just making her feel safe tom's house was broken into he confronted the burglar and that i could not think of a better response and for the audio only listeners we have several homemade pieces on one set today one being my pants yeah khan i owe a big apology to my mom you think you're invincible you think you can wash your colors with your your whites and then you all of a sudden find yourself trying to diy some pants that look like they're painters pants so that's what happened you [ __ ] them up in the yeah dryer in the washer yeah i mean and they took matters into your own hand it's just crazy that like i have not figured out how to do laundry yet yeah 25 years under the belt do you guys know what i mean like there's no like right way to do laundry like there is it is so easy to [ __ ] it up like something happens every single time i do laundry and i'm like i don't what even is that like my whites will get like whiter in some parts and i'm not using bleach because i've been told not to use bleach but don't we use bleach together i just throw everything in together and just hope for the best and i think that my washer doesn't even work like i so it's just like completely fine they don't ceremonially yeah they just they don't it's just like what dirty water washing it's like a bathtub it's a mental it's a mental illness yeah yeah yeah clearing out the laundry chair is a mental health thing it totally you cure your depression when you hit start on that laundry um how often are you supposed to wash like jeans you know my rule is after i piss in them that is that's what i've been doing yeah to date um a couple where's a couple hours a few months that was actually i don't that's like not a i'm not trying to have a podcast conversation i'm genuinely like taking notes i usually i'm i'm leveling with you i pee a lot cool i've got funny friends i pee oh you've made it both of you individually have made me feel like brittany yeah yeah that is the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me in my life i i feed you in your instagram you are the you are truly my biggest fan i hope you know i'm yours i just more of a like oh i'm obsessed with her it means i need to get i need to get better about telling people how much i love that it's still it means so much i i am such a fan of both of you kind of like we are dressed trying not to fangirl like really hard we just love you more than anything in the whole world it's a it's a good transition into saying welcome back to brook and connor make a podcast i don't know i'm losing i don't we trying to figure out what episode this is i think eight it's more it's a couple we're a couple in and we have one of our good friends and colleagues and peers family members and spiritual activists cousins cousins lovers lovers friends i could go on and on about this southern belle but we have brittany broski in the studio today brittany thank you so much for coming we just i've said it before and i'll say it again until the day i die i love you love you more than anything seriously thank you for coming you know what and this will go out before you guys come on my pod yes but we are that is happening we're pod swapping we're pod swaps and britney just has the most amazing podcast in the whole goddamn world violating community guidelines with sarah shower it is and they just hit a hundred thousand youtube subscribers oh my god yes britney guys um black yeah so make sure to please tune into that it is so [ __ ] good how heavy are those plaques solid just asking someone just kind of wanting to know what it would be like could i hold it do i need to hit crossfit before i receive one in the next no i just do like an anchor in the wall cool it's pretty you know i often equate it to that post malone song where he says um when he's sitting on the toilet and he's looking at all of his plaques he hangs him in the bathroom that's the one i want to get to you know what would be a really cute meat cute calling in a taskrabbit that's really into youtube and being like i'm just a girl i can't hang all of these youtube hundred thousand million subscribers that is a fan fiction waiting to be written and hopefully by next wednesday we will have that fully fleshed and i will start yes and i will start it right now i was just listening to your episode about fan fiction me too guys you writing a fan fiction about cole sprouse and onto the scene to the theme was it saving prior private ryan yes yeah i mean what else would it be and but this is in a post saving private ryan world he was going back for more yes i want to pull up my uh snapchat memories please from today please so just so you know i'm clicking on it right nervous and i'm clicking and i'm clicking and i'm clicking it's not clearly something right that's dylan oh shoot you're kidding show the camera oh his hair looks kind of bad yeah oh that's dylan yeah he doesn't have the cold no he doesn't cole i'm they look similar but they are they look nothing alike coal is like raw sex appeal like you know what he's jughead he's different he is he's so [ __ ] was cole jughead in riverside yes in riverside uh he's from riverside and that's where i go to see nasa and carr and he's nasty zach in sweet life of zach and cody and cole was cody and there is a fundamental difference between the girls and guys and everyone who stand cody versus zach there is you're either you're the sensitive one who cody if you famously if you remember wore the dress don't i know it for all those are oh my god and were you a were you a cody or is that girl of course i was a cody girl because it's something about there you go look at that there is nothing i'm not seeing when i look at those two i see no resemblance those are strangers i see you're dylan like oh all the rest can you tell yeah dylan's on the left oh sorry well one of them one of them has dark black hair and the other one just has which one do you know which one is in your snapchat memories um which one's your best friend cole on the left i'm sorry dylan on the left dirty blonde yes i was thinking it was like not my orientation so we are actually just like uh describing photos of dylan gold's prosciutto right identical twins is one taller than the other i think cole is taller that's pretty crazy yeah yeah uh um dylan's looking a little emaciated in this photo too really into that really into that yeah i love a good emaciated boy gaunt and victorious emaciated dad bod anything i'll take it all but yes pulse preferably male 1 yes whatever um but that you writing a fanfiction about i did i wrote a fan fiction about cole sprouse um in the setting of saving private ryan that's humiliating and he had ptsd and were you his nurse i was i was his wife and his wife that he came home you know what else this wasn't like this wasn't like oh i was 14 right right right right right like i was fully at texas well there's a lot of cross over here and i just want to say we've talked about fan fiction before and brooke actually made a public i have to say something i have been holding in for the past ten minutes and forty seven seconds brooke maybe i feel like i'm going to explode say what you're gonna say i just wanna say after listening the reason i brought up that episode is because you guys had a bit about how inappropriate it is to make fanfiction about real people and brooke made a very public request that which i feel the need to now um it was really entertaining while it was but i think that maybe the fan base oh i wasn't even going to say anything about what you're saying the wattpad community should we hold off on writing fanfiction about real people even if it's consensual you know the jury's not on that one no no no we've got two knows i like it i mean i was personally really into it as well you were talking about the logan fan fiction which is the fan fiction about me and my trainer at the gym which by the way i feel like i wanna preface i've never seen this man i've just seen a photo reference of him in the wall of all the trainers i don't know him so that's completely fine well i just also want to say that i did find logan the trainer on instagram so did i and he he does uh he does so dude he does he's a pov king is he a comedy king he's i think he identifies maybe in that way or is he like a larping king he's like he's more i think he's an actor and like so whole like perform scene he's reading he's good he's reading roles like line by line for like wolf of wall street i mean it's a type cast like he's like this big beefcake like that country club guy i'll offline with you about that brittany and thank you we'll sidebar yeah yeah hey guys we want to take a quick break to thank a sponsor of today's episode bird dogs bird dogs are joggers with a built-in silky soft inner liner that never rides up and they're super comfortable compared to lululemon listen i wear bird dogs whenever i'm going out for a long day of fun which is almost every day whether i'm going to the beach or spending the day with my friends bird dogs is always the move for me bird dogs have built-in underwear which as most people know now because i've made it very public i almost never wear i'm not wearing underwear right now but these have built in underwear so uh when you run when you move around a lot you don't have to worry about becoming infertile like i said before i love to freeball it and bird dogs have the perfect shorts for that that is amazing thank you connor go to birddogs.com and our promo code bnc and they'll throw in a free bird dog's whistle tip football that's birddogs.com promo code bnc and boom a free bird dogs whistle tip football with your pair of bird dogs you will not take these things off i promise you but i mean it was fascinating to put a face to the name post podcast and then i was like brooke i don't want to ruin your fantasy for you but it made it better but this man is is is doing bits yeah online it is a nick for some people not when you look like logan hey logan logan is has the ted button the effect like could get it could do anything and i'm like oh no that's good oh okay oh okay it's scary but not everyone oh i forget not everyone's kind of right i forget this isn't a safe space okay okay um i felt a little safe now i don't but conor when you mentioned the fan fiction i thought you were going to say something else which i've been exploding about and needing to talk about matthews i have mentioned in i recently on a podcast an episode or two ago i have written one fan fiction in my life i have read millions and millions infinite of pages longer than harry potter and the goblet of fire kurt and blaine from glee blaine having an ankle monitor yes i've read counselors i've written one and i the one i wrote was about dr spencer reed from criminal minds played by matthew g gubler who was like one of my all-time celebrity crushes and we will not ever be in a place where i will read that fanfiction to you or you will find it but i will give you the basic summary of the fan fiction which is that he i the main character was not my name but of course i am i identified with her why slash why it wasn't a question i did name her yeah but it was based on based on yeah so basically the loose plot is that he was my therapist after i went through something really traumatic taboo and then we fell in love because he really got to me that's going to go ahead and go down in the hipaa book that's a violence his license is stripped and then we were not only we were not able to see each other anymore on a professional level due to falling in love with each other in that setting so we stopped seeing each other in that didn't see each other for five years fast forward for five years we're both in the fbi [Laughter] okay trying to navigate how to be co-workers on the same murder case while being in love okay that's the basic premise of the fan fiction don't forget you wrote this 19 27 35. too old i haven't actually too old i actually haven't even written it yet and and that and i don't it's not even something that i want to talk about openly because it's like not funny like i was not but there was no humor behind that fan fiction there was just me being alone lust and i did write it i co i had a co-author i wrote it with my friend over over this was before over face time we're talking about okay what would dr spencer reed do in this situation anyway and i've i that's how much like i need you guys to understand the extent of how much i was in love with this man and i've also developed a three-tiered kind of level of having a celebrity crush that i think will help you also understand how much i i care about yeah i would like to know about this tears sure and i hope i got it right because i was thinking about in the shower and i was like this is so genius like it's someone's gonna write about it in a textbook but i fear i'm not going to be able to translate it so please bear with me there's three tiers to this approach tier number three which is the least intense tier of having a celebrity crush is someone you and i'm thinking mostly about actors and even singers when i think about this but there's tons of other celebrities is tier three is your when you consume their content so when you're watching a movie or something with them or watching them perform you're in love with them but just kind of while you're consuming the content it does you're in love with the character that they're playing no you're you love them and you think they're hot and you'll maybe even do a little wikipedia deep dive while consuming the content but it kind of stops there you don't think about them too much after consuming the content that's tier three and for me that's kind of like a sebastian stan jacob allordy like you're watching they're gorgeous you'll google wikipedia where are they from how old are they what's their height no more but it stops at a certain point and you're right and it's just like that's like the lowest tier of we moved to tier two two is a step further where you are consuming their kind you're in love with them you need to consume more okay fan edit fan edits you're watching all of their late night interviews you're on a deep youtube spire you're entering reddit you're on the dark web yes you're thinking about them more i can't even imagine you know i don't think you've ever passed no i mean i can't even imagine getting to here too i can't imagine how it gets more intense than going to the dark web let me explain it listen and even in tier two i would say tier two you could consume fan fiction you might not then what the [ __ ] that's tier one tier one is this is where you're talking no this is tier one you reserve for a like a select few people it is the most intimate level of celebrity crush where it's like the thought that you will not spend your life with this person it is landing you almost almost in a psych ward it is it is scary and that is how i felt about matthew matthew i'm consuming content left and right i'm writing fan fiction i thought about him like when you wake up when you would go to bed he is all-consuming you know everything about him maladaptive maladaptive daydreaming at its finest like you are you fully disassociated and in your i'm people are in the comments are going to be like she like what's it called when you like call like this a citizen's arrest yeah it's like i'm about to make my move i'm just trying to step just so you can understand okay how much i was obsessed with matthew ray gubler still am not tier one necessarily but was because you can only tier one with one person at a time you know that's a hot take as well that you can tier one with one person at a time mine back up uh to each other like i'll literally the thought exactly what you're describing the thought of like i will never find another person that i'm this attracted to terrible six weeks later you have someone mgg who is your tier one do you have a tier one of course i do i've got harry styles tattooed on my body so you think harry styles it makes you sick to your stomach every day when you go to bed but no here's the thing and here's different because um it's not a crush for me it's more like something i don't know if i understand harry styles to me is more like he's my idol right which is you don't want to you don't know if you want to be him or be in him no you don't even want to be in him no it's just like the thought of being in a room with him makes me sick to my stomach i can never meet him because i love him so much and then i had felt that way about matthew yes and guess what it happened you're and you made it out on the other side well that's where we're going i met matthew so wait i wanna i wanna bet matthew two nights ago i wanna rewind a little bit because the way that it happened is an act of god yeah i don't even know this story i am scared i cuz i had just well i haven't talked about him until recently one he was the voice of simon and alvin and the chipmunks i've been talking about avenue yeah i've been talking about out on the chipmunks on top two i brought up the fan fiction recently which i had never talked about because i've been too embarrassed i read it to a friend for the first time ever i read it to matt king and you manifested it in that moment like a month ago and i was like i will never read this to anyone again i've never read this is someone for whatever reason i feel safe reading this fanfiction to you matt king then tucked it away i've been talking about it recently and then tuna i don't you take it away i have to i just have to give background on this because it is absurd like how it happened so we get invited to this premiere like i i don't get invited to things like that like for good reason and this premieres for lost city it's just came out the the channing tatum and uh sandra bullock movie um i didn't know like daniel radcliffe and brad pitt and olive and oscar from the office yeah yeah star stood back bow and yang i mean like good movie because i like rom-com adventures but very cheesy but like it makes you feel good so anyways sure we get invited i have nothing to wear to a carpet so i go shopping i get pants i get home try them on they're like a little bit too big and you can't wear a belt to a red carpet you just have to be a harry styles guy and like tuck your shirt in and call it a day and my pants were falling off so i called brook doesn't answer i called patricia our friend i was like you need to bring me a safety pin please and some dumbs cause something's happening yeah and because i knew she had a huge like basically trough of toms in her kitchen because i eat them every time we are going to a pre-game candy i'm like candy it's literally chalk i'm just like eating chalk at pre-games so she brings me the safety pin we're on the red carpet she hands me safety pin and then brooke i started to take pictures of brook and she's like matthew gray google unlike starts matt had texted me matt wasn't there yet matt had texted me matthew cooper's here and i responded i was like you're [ __ ] with me because i had just read him that fan fiction and he was the one person i had read that family you thought he was he was oh i thought he was pissed off absolutely taking the piss out of me yeah i well hang on so brooke is grabbing me like connor matthew gray group i'm like i don't know who is this i i know his face and i know i know his face too i don't know what he's been in it's hard to he's he is doctor spencer reading criminal minds as well as simon and evan and the chipmunks he's in tons of others well brooke extends to me that like i'm obsessed with him and i can see it in her face because she is shaking and we're on the carpet and there's like sandra bullock's in front of us i'm having an um she's having a connection and i'm like how am i gonna get brooke over to him in like a natural way and i see that his button has fallen off his his blazer and i'm like guess who has an extra safety pin this guy i walk up to a pocket full of time a pocket full of times i go uh hey matthew like i have a safety pin do you want me to like get your button on and he's like dude you just saved my life like and we're talking and he's like you don't know like that you just like i couldn't have gone out there on the carpet like nice take my picture and i'm like oh of course of course i need you what's the word ethical social climate ethical social clout chasing climbing tendencies he's a networker it's his business what can he say famously i thought at this point i'm seeing red i'm in a blind rage i thought conor was making a video with matthew and was not was and was not going to introduce me because there have been times in the past no offense conor lovely to god damn death where connor has talked to people that i really want to meet no no introduction i would go as far as to say gatekeeping girl boss will not let me near them well i'm always i'm also meeting these people for the first time right right so i but that's where immediately that's where my head went is he is not going to introduce me he is making a video i didn't know what they were doing he i didn't know about the safety pin he's touching matt he's like all over matthew and i'm going connor connor no no no no no you're going connor and i can hear you and there's a we're on we're on a red well it was green but it was a red carpet event there's there's fans yelling sandra matthew and bruce going connor but from the red carpet not from the audience and i'm like i'm [ __ ] working my thing right now i'm doing my thing and then i'm finally like oh brook brook brook come over here like meet matthew and then it just uh and then i black i think people act out but i did i did walk away because you guys were having a moment but i did get a bunch on filmed it i i took a bunch of we have firing off we have videos of me and matthew that we can insert and post but i'm i feel like she's watching hands on her knees like oh god i watched the videos back and i i i thought i was being a little shy like i'm such a big fan screaming i love you like so scary like i'm watching back and i'm like he wants me dead ripping onto his [ __ ] and then he's yelling he's telling connor you saved me i had no idea about the safety pin he's telling connor you say you saved me matthew wait is that is that on video yeah i remember that happened you saved me and then you go like this oh no that wasn't to me you like turn and then connor gave him a hug and i was like i'm sorry i know i didn't give you a safety pin i've just got to kind of squeeze in here i'm holding on to dear i and i he was they say never meet your idols he was just like i knew he was going to be nice and you know what i saw the video and i was blown away by how charismatic and personable he was is the nicest guy in the and this is my phone background which is not surprising to anybody and the slightest probably that's me and matthew it was really really funny i can't think of like a better meet your idol he i just i can't stop thinking about her talking about it it's just the best thing that's ever happened it's the best night of my life best thing that's ever happened to me i don't even i can't even i hope you guys understand how much that meant to me i hope the three-tiered celebrity crush yes system that i created helped i hope the fan fiction helped do you now check that off are you like okay i've i was literally like if i get hit by a bus right now on this green carpet completely so like so is that like when a ghost is stuck on the in between and it's like i just i wouldn't have been able to pass on at that moment you would have been honored okay if i was a ghost i would be passing hey guys we want to take a quick break to thank another sponsor of today's episode hellofresh with hellofresh you get farm fresh pre-portioned ingredients and seasonal recipes delivered right to your doorstep skip trips to the grocery store and count on hellofresh to make home cooking easy fun and affordable that's why it's america's number one meal kit hellofresh has fit and wholesome recipes for satisfying and nutritious meals that you can feel good about six recipes per week to choose from including low calorie and carb conscious options warm yourself up from the inside out with limited time recipes inspired by cozy classics from around the world like beef tenderloin and cheese fondue or even miso sesame shrimp and bacon ramen i love hellofresh so much because personally small tasks are hard for me and with hellofresh it is just so easily prepared and takes no time at all and perfect for somebody who doesn't like to have you know everything is a big setup you know it's just so it can be hard it's overwhelming that is the word i'm looking for you've gotten groceries before and then we're like what was even my plan here right go to hellofresh.com bnc16 and use code b and c 16 for up to 16 free meals and three free gifts that's hellofresh.com bnc16 and use code b and c 16 for up to 16 free meals and three free gifts hellofresh america's number one meal kit okay i don't eat like it was the i am just so like beside myself you had anything like that happen like anybody you've met where you're just like recently yes um rosalia is my probably like top three of all time some it was one of those things where i think like you spoken into existence you talking to matt king about like yeah here's this funny no [ __ ] it's real spiritual activist spiritual activism i was talking to my management and i was like man if there's a way like because she's interacted with me before on on tick tock and all that and i yeah a little turd came out okay okay a little turn out no i thought i saw you move and i was like okay yeah i didn't even get back yeah one okay and um i get an email invite from her team that's like russell is uh premiering her album on tick tock and she wants uh tick tocker to interview her are you down what the [ __ ] are you talking about is this spam literally i was like this is like some cruel joke that someone's trying to play on me no it was real and i ended up interviewing her album i didn't i literally had to have a moment with myself before and i cried for an hour afterwards oh on the actual interview though i'm like so tell me more about oh i was so cool afterward i had a full like like one of these like right it was you and you do know what i'd and i could not relate to you more have you ever no see it's different yeah it's different from do you even have any tier ones uh no like i can't even relate to that at all wow um yeah what about tier two i so i've never i don't get really starstruck like i see it i think that's probably why he can ethical crap chase so well maybe that's his [ __ ] i think that because he's just able to be i can ethically cloud chase where it's not like transactional like i'm not like i want to be your friend because i need to post this on tick tock i'm like i think that we would be like i'm not i wouldn't go like hang out with someone and post a picture if they sucked you know like it would just it's like a funny like we're friends now but the one person i've i think i told i talked about this before but will ferrell's the only person that i that i've seen and been like right i didn't even know you were real like it feels like something that you read about in a book and you see in movies like you're in step brothers that's like the bible yeah and then you see him in person you're like i'm gonna yeah right when he's just like a dad when he's just like an old dude with like a baseball cap and he dresses like adam sandler very similar [ __ ] do you remember that one award show that he came on with his he brought his kids on stage with them and he was like get the next nominees get your ass over here it's back to the stage next nominee is he's in flip-flops yeah it's so [ __ ] up it's so refreshing so no i've never had a tier one i can't even not even i feel like you love um what's her name kate hudson is she not even tier one i i do like kate hudson i remember one is so simple it's like you're watching and you're like okay i have a crush it it's it's three you said oh god i feel yeah you're right tier three is tier three i can't stop saying oh god i feel horrible tier three is yeah tier three is the least yeah um no i i think i've i've had i mean like kate hudson in fools gold is my number one right fair but that's the matthew mcconaughey movie and that's matthew mcconaughey i'm surprised matthew isn't your number one well see i we we went to the same college we both went to ut austin no yeah we're the same age um and i still see him all over campus and it's giving me the vibe of like the high schooler that keeps coming back to high school parties he's a professor though he wasn't until like last year and i saw him at every game and he'd come out and come to the edge of his box and he'd go big chest throw the horns out and people were like he's so sick i'll die for you like you know like i'm just like what like i would do in a heartbeat if i ever end up like i'm going i would die i'm good and i would love to be like if i ever am in a lincoln commercial one time i'm heading my ass right back to austin and i'm getting a box man that's what i'm saying at dkr number one place you'd spend your money that texas alum oh my god i'm booking my [ __ ] immediately i'm getting season tickets to the games i'm going every like i'm going i have an orange blazer thing it's a level of white man we have yet to see from fibula i am looking forward to the day he has explored most levels of white man yes for that one publicly yeah publicly yeah yeah i'm curious what do you mean by that uh what do you mean by that i just feel like yeah sure i'm ready to elaborate i just feel like you fit you check a lot of different boxes yeah like i think you can be ar you're like artsy e voice pointing to his [ __ ] up i think you can be you're so you're really artsy you know you kind of paint on your pants you also fit like the kind of like california surfery guy you're also southern text like you have so many different genres i don't know finding myself you're just a boy yeah and then sometimes you wear rings and necklaces and you were wearing at to the premiere the other day you had a complete tom holland thing going you just have a lot of different areas of white boy you're exploring and do you know what else is um i was talking about this with sarah sarah yesterday of um there's a white man effect where white men funny white men just [ __ ] love each other like i've always been curious as to how um you met cody and how all of this started i know we've never talked about it and i think it's because you both respect each other yeah and like that's the white man effect they do bros will be bros i mean think about it shawn mendes who else have you met [ __ ] sean sean and then also shawn mendes as well and you did meet shawn mendes sean cody dylan of the sproul sprouse industries now oh can i just show you guys something conor had no idea who matthew was by the way i think i made that pretty clear please zoom in on what connor moved forward with instagramming let me see my favorite for you just for tips if you guys ever meet a celebrity i've always done this like since i was like a child i always go it's just they like this i swear i've never had someone be like no i'm like can we act like we've been friends for a long time for this photo and they're like yes i don't want to pose with you i want to like move around and if you have a friend that's got a fiery thumb like a trigger trigger finger trigger trigger happy finger with the yeah you just tell them click click and talk and you look at each other and you do that thing and then you're like thank you and there's no like posing writing the manual on ethical clout chases yeah it is that is like that's the illusion of because that's always what comes that picture of you and shawn mendes and king princess and that who you met once it's like you don't look like you're having the time of your life like it's blurry you're like we broke that picture down like i was we were all hanging out except sean for like except for like an hour just like chatting cracking up taking shots whatever and then at the last minute sean ran into the photo because he saw us taking a group photo but anyways ethical clout chasing sean goes to equinox i've saw him a few times i don't even care because i've got logan i've got you're you know i'm so sorry i'm so set troye sivan goes and connor has did not come to equinox with me this time i didn't even know he said he would i he's you're scared well i had a friend in town from college and i was kind of busy um and i do i do cardio outside of the gym too so i don't need to go into a gym to run on a treadmill i like to be outside i like to run next to the beach is he talking about having sex i don't know what he's talking about no no no no i'm so sorry you were like you're hiding in my car i'm [ __ ] talking outside baby no i am uh not doing that so much anymore after my ticket but you did say this you did say and i do want to say that i coined the term ethical clout chase yes you did okay yeah and i respect you a lot for it i don't want it to come off as a negative thing you said ethical very specifically i said this to you yesterday i said please don't take this the wrong way yeah and you did it and i appreciate that i don't get offended by much that being said my mgg pick that i posted on instagram last night had me blocking 34 people ah why because the amount of just like ruthless comments about my forehead listen brother my hairline hasn't moved because i looked i looked at old pictures it's the same people are just used to me in a hat right but you can't i mean jesus christ it's a little bit so much connor i opened up the floodgates i want you to know and here's what i'll say i think you guys will find some solace in this too i'm sure when you're talking about a sibling and you're like i hate my little sister and then someone says yeah she sucks you're like i'm gonna [ __ ] kill you whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa so i can be like my forehead's pretty big and someone's like one girl commented could your forehead be any bigger and i said sarah be any more blocked laura you're getting blocked and reported [ __ ] enjoy jail and you just tapped into my whole brand yeah by the way it is so [ __ ] frustrating it really is especially all of our brands are self-deprecating a bit that does not it does not give you an invitation to self-deprecate me exactly to deprecate me rather you know what else someone commented on my on my spam the other day i posted some video with just ass lighting just god-awful lighting it was like that elevator lighting that's from straight down and i do have thinning hair okay me too and it was this is all i do it was this awful like greasy like the librarian from harry potter like filch like yeah someone commented a girl a rogaine ain't that expensive people are i was like no how the now just give me the rationale of you comedy that like thinking i'm gonna laugh and that used to be my thing was responding to those comments in video form and and that's enabling them because they want a video it's enabling them and then i would get like i got myself into this really tricky situation of people just leaving nasty comments just to get responses and for you it's different because i feel like girls want your attention yeah but i have feelings like i said i'm just a boy finding himself all right yeah and i'm also like yeah like i can i do this this is i'm just telling you my comment section is not a safe place i will literally i'm so happy to block you and your whole family yeah it brings me great pleasure i would lose 10 000 followers if it just me if it hurts someone's feeling that that left a bad cop i'd be like it is so worth it i will trade off 10k yeah um the rest of the year they're going to be thinking about how you made one of your favorite people online sad to the point where you're blocking like i've had people i've had friends text and text someone we have like a mutual friend and i didn't know this person and they left a comment text their friend to text me and say hey can you have fibula unblock me and i'm like holy [ __ ] i don't know i don't blame you for no reason like you did something i'm like no you lost privileges exactly sorry it is really like i can't imagine like they must have to be in like the darkest place because i even in my darkest depths like the worst thing i ever did was send a hate death tweet to matthew morrison mr shuster from glee and he come on that that is the funniest trends online where the internet just decides they hate people that it really i do i feel horrible but him especially it's like i signed to send mr schuster to guantanamo bay petition it's like it is so deserved i signed the one for uh them to not let elon re-enter the enter or yes i can't remember who i signed that one for but i also signed the one to to cancel american girl doll store because they're re using real human babies for their dolls which which i just got i've never been so cancelled in my life really the american girl doll stands came from my jug my jug just that's the biggest time you've been cancelled uh no army handles what'd you say about him um about how that girl wendy's found a thumb in her chili and he was like no no it's okay like i just want to leave you a tip you got cancelled for that it was like he's eating people i was like okay well my bad like you're missing the joke the joke is so chilly is questionable we're standing sebastian stan for eating some ass cheeks hey guys we want to take a quick break to thank another sponsor of today's episode bud light sierra cart beer is here and we're excited to be one of the first podcasts to partner with the brand new bud light next their first zero car beer you heard that right zero carb beer it's super crisp light beer with 80 calories and four percent alcohol by volume it to me it kind of tastes like when you get off work randomly early or like your boss comes up to you and they're like you can actually go home if you're if you want to like the day's over i'm going home you can go if you want to and you're like texting your friends like i just got off and some of your other friends are like i'm gonna i'm gonna sneak out too and then you go have a drink like in the middle of the day you kind of feel like you're breaking the rules they're light crisp refreshing that's amazing do you mind if i provide you with a few scenarios in which you might enjoy sipping no i actually need to get creative um you could enjoy these hanging out with friends no way that's an opportunity that's available to you you could enjoy these going golfing you could enjoy these just sitting on the couch watching tv cool uh the the opportunities truly are endless cool don't believe us go try bud light next for yourself it's in stores now to find a retailer who delivers right to your door head to bud light.com next again that's bud light.com next enjoy responsibly messaging for 21 plus um brittany i have a question for you yes have you ever seen a dead body that reminds me of how i got canceled let her answer it oh you just said no sorry i have been there was not even a pause i was like i was hoping there would be like a little bit of a dramatic no you see me like you're hiding something uh me no no no no i've never seen all those dead bodies there's never been any um around me i've been to a funeral one time and it was my step-great-grandma oh crap and it was a closed casket and i was like oh she died because i wasn't close to her i was like oh that sucks she was also like 97 years old oh yeah if i were ever to be in a room with a dead body i actually think that's my number one fear like so why would you ask me that is really what i'm asking i don't know it came up this morning when i was like what should i ask brittany today have you ever seen a corpse um like because one of my things would i mean not a not a dream i just like love those movies in the beginning when the kids and it's their summer break and they find the dead body and it is the summer of their lives oh yeah i do know what he's talking about like in one movie like that i some paper clowns suddenly and all at once can't think of a single one right i'm thinking of like uh paper towns i'm thinking of something like the goonies i've never seen paper do you want me to answer that is that that john john green book very niche reference there yeah yeah um well damn i i guess that is that i thought that was going to be a longer well hold on have you have you seen a dead body no but no have you you have seen a couple i've only i've been to one funeral i think and that was closed casket yeah death actually like i'm not kidding is like it is freaks it is to think of like just not existing anymore well then i don't want to trigger anybody else you've kind of let's you've kind of stand by me stand by me thank you oh my god i forgot we have that that is the movie where they find a dead body um and that's as far as i can elaborate they find a dead body and then they walk in a train track and then the credits roll got it um hold on i'm not done oh i'm so sorry to our guest connor sorry gee where um where have you seen a dead body is this like a like a rubber neck and road um there was one of those sure uh yeah there was that makes the most sense like a traffic accident to be like yeah and i don't wanna i i'm gonna tell a story about like it not being attached to any actual human life so that it's not scary but someone you know on on the lake that i grew up on um had been like fully murdered and it was like a drug situation so it's i feel like fine talking about it it was like a it was like a i don't know if it was gang related or what but like they tied like cinder blocks to the person's body and like sunk them in the lake and there's like a national forest around that side of the lake so like it took so long to find him but it like decrotted and floated up to the top the crowded is not a word damn i keep making up words every episode decorative is the opposite of a real word but you know what i mean i fully was about to go with uh-huh and he wasn't familiar with the act of decroting man's was decrotted me when i'm deprotonated i'd be like [Laughter] declaration fives all right i'm infinite [Laughter] crowd um i mean anyways that's again i'm talking about like stand by me vibes um what is your number one fear space probably and then uh um like lucid dreaming and like being awake when i'm like like physically i'm asleep but like paralysis like being stuck there yeah that freaks me out what about you i think probably just like never finding love dying alone etc and i relate to that yeah which is yeah yeah that's it you feel the same way mine is uh death yeah yeah yeah that is really scary there's nothing we can do about all these ones i guess we'll move on it is so scary to have a worse fear that you just have no control over it like i wish it was like sharks i would just never go in the ocean oh yeah that's what it is is like pretty scary space that's like the unknown death is my own mortality right you know like the fact that all this could just go away one second in one second yours is uh loneliness yeah i'm like well that there you go you know what i have a good one that's kind of fun okay when you see a spider or a cockroach in your house and then you quietly move away to to fix to uh erect to boner the situation what word am i trying to define rectify [ __ ] damn to what it what's the word he used to irrelevant so i'm trying to decrease this arachnid and that was a big one that was uh and then it's gone and you no longer feel like you live in your home you know they're in your space and there's nothing you can that is you've got a roommate babe i'm not talking about the spider that we all have that it kind of just makes its way into your shower right everyone and it just kind of it's kind of sitting there and it's there for weeks i haven't had one in my new apartment but i did in college we had a spider and it kind of just minded its own business um i didn't want to really step in because i i value karma so i said if you stay in your space i'll stay in mine and it did so wow in college um in our little shitty college apartment we were on the third floor which is also like shouldn't have bugs on the third floor and they fly they do and we had a flying cockroach the size of a [ __ ] baseball and it was it came out of the ceiling fan crawled across the ceiling and on the wall and i threw a shoe up there and killed it we got charged for leaving a mark on the wall when we moved out they said what is that you're charged i said oh so the fact that there was a large cockpit approach doesn't decrease you in any way that's scary um so we had one time in college so so i learned a lot about science with this situation so we all had gone to like on a trip to hawaii and we were staying with like one of our friends and they were also in college and there was a cockroach and we were all eating dinner and we're sitting there and i take matters in my own hands i killed a cockroach what i didn't know is that when you kill a female cockroach it releases pheromones into the air that is horny that attract male cockroaches and all of a sudden we killed 27 cockroaches that came out of nowhere and they're flying around the house a living nightmare just imagine something worse it was sky cockroaches got so horny it was [ __ ] d-day in there i thought literally i was like it was like i could have waited i'm sorry what were you like the masculine urge to make machine gun you know what i i also because it's going to be old news next week i want to show you guys my new tattoo i got oh i do want to see that um and i was thinking of the male urge and i was like okay nail urge to show off your tattoos yeah the mail show off your ink yeah the mail urge should get yatted um so we meet this guy randomly like one of my friends i met this guy out like out and about in venice and he's like hey i just moved into a new studio do you guys want to come get a tattoo and of course we're like let's go yeah let's absolutely go i'm assuming it's free 250 bucks oh god it was in one of those apartment studios so he he takes no it's like a back house and it was totally redone it was really nice very clean and i'm like oh no he drives a tesla and we get back there and um he's like yeah i just moved in three hours ago okay um cool so i guess i'll lay down and let you rip into my flesh that makes sense sebastian stan yeah um and i like didn't know what to get yet blah blah blah and finally i'm like you know what back to my roots i'm gonna get a fibula on my fibula oh my god you're kidding i can't believe you even shared this i know well i was keeping it a secret because after completion i did get tapped on the shoulder by my friend who was there that said uh that's the tibia that you just got tattooed on you and they didn't want to intervene before they looked it up after to compare okay so i did go ahead and for some reason the tibia tattooed on my i don't even know if it's my [ __ ] the leg connected to the knee bone knee bones connected to the i should have you know what that song's reminding me i should have studied this song before i went into this random dude's apartment but i will show you now yeah please that honestly makes it funnier i love a good tat with a story oh oh that's that's great i love it oh god i love it connor like a um chicken wing well gee thanks brooke i i love beethoven you know i like weddings yeah things are worse i know you love one you know who else those wings matthew maron matthews um yeah anyways that happened tell me do you have any other touches yeah i have a couple what are you doing wait uh you have a bunch on your heart the rolling stones which one is your hairy one true people kindness got my little spongebob jellyfish you know i love spongebob got my mickey mouse yeah um that coca-cola and that stick is so detailed shout out arbel our bell barbell local la tattoo artist does this incredible realistic shading is i had to get one wow wow and then really amazing got a cowboy boot for texas on the back of my bicep if you can see oh you haven't i love that one do you have a favorite look at these little ones what are what are these these are my little tiny people i love little tiny people brooke is one of brooke is one of those yeah brooke you're on here actually if you can find yourself oh my god um i the whole mortality thing had this whole freak out went to the the lacma the ligma sorry i did go to the ligma museum and there was this exhibit there was like this pop art exhibit and it was a mirror and the artist had superimposed himself into the piece and so it looked like he was looking over his shoulder looking at you looking at the piece it was like it was cool it's cool it is really cool and as i i was looking at it and i walked away and then this little mom this mom came up with her little baby with one of those chest straps and i would like to be carried around in one of those chest straps one day um the baby bjorn yeah yes and um they're standing in the mirror and i'm kind of off to the side just watching them and she starts playing with her little babies arms and they're giggling and laughing and i was like off to the side like just watching them and i was like what a beautiful little human moment that i happen to walk there is nothing like those human moments that are just like and you they're just like the most random obscure moments that all of a sudden make you have some sort of epiphany yeah i started tearing up a little bit yeah just crying at this random mother baby and i was like life is so fragile so fragile it is so complex every sunday i have one of those yeah like they're not even rare to me anymore because it's like they're sent to me on sundays when i've had a long weekend is that your equivalent of the sunday scaries because we don't have real jobs i know no i have i have actual sunday scaries about talking too much all weekend and going over everything i uh oh so it's it's post not not pre anxiety it's posting oh wait i think um i spit on you i caught it oh it's right there it's okay let me just get that off the chair um it's it's pre-input it's it's it's like looking forward to the weekend it feels like when i've done like friday saturday gone out and done whatever i feel like unproductive and then i feel like everyone else is working all weekend sure to get ahead and we're in real life reality no one has right but i feel like i just wasted two days when it's like you're supposed to do you're supposed to yeah yeah that's crazy isn't that a weird side effect of kind of this job because so much of it is fibula ethical social yeah network is working it is working but it doesn't feel like it which i guess is good and i do need to get something off my chest get it off some of the drunkest moments in my life i have ever been is with the two of you really yes great like like one of the black owls was with you yes unfortunately sadly yeah well and and i wouldn't take it back for anything no [ __ ] none of you guys never i i you you know brittany and i met like four and a half years ago for the first time and i i was kombucha girl take it away take it away tell the story i was just like oh i need to ethnically clout chase brittany browski in the vip section at acl in austin which is it's a music festival at this point you were sorry to interrupt you were kombucha girl i was kombucha girl this was when is it october it was october the meme went viral in august of 2019 this was october of 2019. i was kombucha girl who was slightly becoming britney broski at this point um we're in the vip section because acl reached out to me gave me tickets errol the first time ever i was like and i am somewhat important yeah which is i was lied to what a feeling what a feeling by one direction anyway um besides you now holding you in my arms and i do love wow yeah so anyway we're in the vip section this little white kid comes up to me and he's like yeah girl i'm [ __ ] gone [Laughter] and guess what anyone have a happy finger she was seriously like please don't make me do this and i was like just i mean i was he was like can you do the face and i was like i'd actually rather not and he was like no it'll be so funny and i'm glad that you insisted because now you have that little did we know but we we reenacted it this past year at acl and it was cute yeah because we look like legit children yeah and then we aged like presidents just from being online yeah our job is just as hard as joe biden's right the lines in my face are as deep as any god same it was it was a very cute thing because you were like we should recreate the thing and i was like you know what i'm glad that you took that because it's a it's a benchmark we didn't know we didn't know but um guys i have a segment that we've never done before that i really wanted to do right i wanted to have i mean it's special because you're here and i think that so we have uh horrible first dates that's what we asked for last week and i want to say really quick we did get a bunch of emails i read through all of them um i don't bless you i don't think that you guys i mean like they're bad dates but they're not horrible i'm like i was expecting like really really bad um but we have some of these you know that viral date on tick-tock where that girl like all was at the guy's apartment and had to [ __ ] her pants so bad and then was like explosively [ __ ] and it turns out that the guy had given her laxatives yeah do you know that because he like he he had like a literal diarrhea fetish like a genuine i forget what he did something like even worse than what i'm describing i'm pretty sure he did he picked it up he picked it up he broke his toilet on purpose so that was she oh so that she would have yes so that she would go to the bathroom and use it and then um it would be there and he'd be like no worries i'll fix it later and he kept it with it like [ __ ] slime yeah and she know she she found it in like a plastic bag i don't know something it's something along those lines there was also it's like i was expecting something like that or like the one where the girl the girl poops and um it wouldn't flush and then she puts it in the cat litter i would literally like when i do things like that i just convinced myself that they did not happen like i lie to myself so much that i believe them i was like oh my god your cat died that's god awful i felt like no connection yeah truly and i would believe that i don't know who fisted that turd and put it in your cat litter box i don't know it really was not me yeah like and i will believe that and i'm so sorry that did happen to you yeah it's okay hi b so i mean okay hi b and c love you guys i unfortunately have a horrible date story to tell for some reason i thought it would be a good idea to go on a date with my ex-boyfriend's best friend for reference both of these men are five seven five foot seven white boys obsessed with supreme and crypto right that's a sweet spot are they single you're talking about two of my best friends here i will call this guy tom because that's his real name and i don't give a [ __ ] i was like that's that's when i flagged this email and she was like i will call this guy tom because that's his real night why did i say it why am i saying that's his real name and i don't give a [ __ ] tom and i went to the same community college and we kind of flirted and he seemed totally normal so i agreed to go on a date with him if anything it would piss my ex off which is a win in my book right why i knew time was a hypebeast time what the [ __ ] is going on feeling relatively australian today i knew time was a hypebeast oh that was good but when he joked that he owned a diamond grill as in the teeth thing no ounce on my brain actually registered that that was a real fact he took me out to dinner and showed up in the diamond grill now at this point pause diamond george foreman he probably i did too yeah i did too i almost stopped reading because because i'm excited yeah at this point pause if you go on a date with someone and they show up with a diamond grill in their mouth and they're caucasian what are you doing gone gone unless it's riff raff rook shaped hole in that i'm trying to get so famous that i can act like i don't know nobody uh he took me out to dinner and showed up in the diamond grill he also proceeded to tell me that this glorified retainer costed him a thousand dollars immediate ick yeah yeah yeah but the worst part is when the food came he had to take it out and wrap it in a napkin like an actual retailer my in that moment i decided i never wanted to see this man again right he drove me there so i had to play along for the rest of the night no you don't uber yeah unfortunately it gets worse after dinner we went to get ice cream so after putting the dried out diamond grill back and he had to take it back out now wrap it in a napkin again my god we started to walk out of the ice cream shop and he realized that he threw it away by accident he ran over to the garbage just start to dig through it could you imagine like i i imagine like a girl seeing a guy there on a date would dig through the trash right this girl is also really funny yeah no she is telling me both of these comedic yeah yeah she didn't i remember him saying something like this is so embarrassing but this thing was a thousand dollars i can't leave it behind that's what's embarrassing is that you spend a thousand dollars on it right right now rifling through the trash for your diamond grill on a date that is i kind of stood there for a second and when he asked me to help i bluntly said no no i went to the bathroom and stood there for like 15 minutes texting everyone i knew about what was happening he did find his grill hallelujah and drove me home i never talked to tom again i hope he and his girl are doing well taryn taryn my my deepest condolences you are a goddamn war hero after that experience i'm just picturing longest words i'm letting i'm picturing tom like this can you [ __ ] help like in attraction and for those i can't even describe what connor is here obviously a diamond grill is going to sink to the bottom of the trash can yeah no the audacity to ask for help no but they got ice cream have you guys seen an ice cream shop trash can it's on par with like the ground in a movie theater yeah in terms of stickiness yeah that is really and this is why i don't date one of the thousands of reasons that i don't date yeah guys with grills are just in general in general just like what if this what if something like this happens it's just no one is normal no no one is normal you know what if there was a person that something like this would happen to it's yeah it's just like why bother can we i'm waiting till i meet someone naturally like on a green carpet et cetera um rick can you take that one yeah i gotta put my glasses on for this baby hold please we have we have one more thing this one's from becca okay dear brook and connor um please read this whole thing the end is worth it got it yep so he was a marine that's how every bad date starts right kidding kinda sprinkle it in he drove an hour to meet me and stay the night at my house okay he walked into the front door immediate ick yeah guys walking through front doors barf guys is it is it loser you don't come in the front door walk through oh jesus christ he came in and immediately busted in my window and jumped into my bedroom i didn't even know what to do i didn't even know what to do like i physically was grossed out by him so i just tried my best to mask the ick which if you've ever had to do you know what's hardest it is nearly goddammit by the way when i read this this morning for the first time i was like re-reading that line where he comes in through the front door and i'm like i cannot figure out like what's wrong with what also what's a what's a good way to walk through like i do think that's an egg like when i when i think about a guy walking through a door ew another reason i can't like there's just i everything to me i'm just like why yeah i'm just thinking like the alternatives of coming he came into the back door she said that was awesome like once she saw him oh okay oh okay okay it's not so much that the act of walking through the door was an ick even though now it's a new ick for me it's more of just his existence all right fellas avoid the front door always hit the back door alternative alternative i decided and he's already staying the night because he drove an hour right so that's scary she gets she gets to that okay i decided to cook him dinner made this bomb garlic chicken brussels with bacon that is not something i'd be making on a first date first date garlic brussels i'd be first date at home at your house that is sketch and she should not have done that that yeah that is um i would need a medical attention um along with roasted potatoes went all out for this man then traded my neighbor one of my coveted tests for a bottle of wine and drank the whole thing during dinner to make my night go by easier yeah that's the only thing you could have done he never once told me that dinner was good eighth oh ate the whole thing and then he told me two hours later he was hungry and wanted to order pizza so my drunk ass orders pizza for him which he never says thank you for and doesn't offer to venmo which yeah he drove so [ __ ] what but i was so annoyed yeah of course you're annoyed that's horrible either way oh he drove he's still putting you out yeah it is that is really horrible i'm so sorry oh also after i made dinner and did all the dishes by myself he went and sat on the couch to watch a new girl with me which he didn't like who doesn't like new girl connor you need to watch it you'd love it i do watch it no i do like okay good sure then we went to bed and i laid as far as possible away from him he had to wake up early did he i wonder if he even tried to make a move he had to wake up early and go to work an hour away so he wakes up leaves and i'm like thank god the guy is like loki just homeless and needed to sleep first date and then just like having this platonic sleepover after brussels sprouts and garlic no and pizza and pizza he's giving me like i need a place to sleep and eat tonight yeah i just see you have an extra blanket i just i can take with me i saw this tweet the other day this is off topic obviously but it was like this guy's getting me drunk thinking he's gonna hit but jokes on him because i'm going to cry but it's not over yet this man all in uniform walks into my room and says uh hey my bike won't start he rode a bike he rode a motorcycle oh you have jumper cables i forgot this dude is in a military uniform yeah uh i also forgot that's key detail right i was pissed dude it wasn't even 7am so i go off to the garage we do not have cables he then asks me to text my neighbors for that for him uh no and then he's like okay i have an idea we can push start it we are not doing anything i don't know if you have ever pushed started a motorcycle i have not but it's not the most flattering experience i'm in my pajamas on the street again it's not even 7 a.m yet i live in a very residential neighborhood this man asks me to push him on his motorcycle while he revs the engine y'all i am sprinting in my birkenstocks and xl t-shirt i am legit pushing so hard on this motorcycle up and down the street and this man's yelling you have to run fast i don't run ever i'm dying at this point i'm hungover from the bottle of wine i'm sweating alcohol why am i pushing a marine on a motorcycle after running up and down my entire street multiple times he finally gets it started i'm pissed as soon as that [ __ ] started running i turned around walked back into my house and locked the door and got back in my bed imagine the amount of ring cameras that got that footage i haven't heard from him since thank god lol becca oh my god becca holy [ __ ] like what are our takeaways here my takeaways are like unfortunately i'm not surprised by the audacity of these men like i wonder how he felt probably like he did nothing wrong literally he was probably like uh he just used someone to sleep in their bed use their uh food watch their netflix and then said let me use your manpower yeah to get my everything took everything took everything and left nothing everything you know what i you know what situation i like imagining if the rules were reversed and some girl was like you need to get out here in military you need to get out here and push start my bike i'd be like yes girl you tell him you need to text your neighbors didn't hook up ate two meals and then dipped on them the difference there and i do acknowledges the double standard is that that's a power move if a woman went and just took everything from a man it was like also you need to push me down the street like the [ __ ] kids at the playground yes interestingly enough we got zero bad date stories from men there you go that is a really really interesting point connor i love that you're in touch with that kind of analytic side yeah it's interesting a feminist theory there and we can do one hot take before we wrap up yeah what's what's being cmap without a hot take yeah do you want to read it brittany yeah sure my hot take is that having children is a waste of money and time and honestly so terrifying i'm curious if this is like a jinzy thing that we're just not as interested in having kids anymore but i have literally no intention of ever having kids and do not see that changing in the future what are your thoughts are you kids or anti-kids love you guys i i do feel like mo i want i want to have kids like i've always wanted to be a mom and that is like what do you want to be when you grow up and i always said mom and and also comedian slash ice cream truck driver it was those two things yeah it's cool again my my ability to manifest is a little scary you are just like living in a mash game i'm i'm an i am a wattpad fanfiction i am my own no you like i just did m.a sometimes i get scared that i like the real me is locked up in a mental institution or something and i am my my fantasy my wattpad fans you know what i think you are the lizzie mcguire animation yeah brittany that's a good point i'm the little bncb character yeah you're the little i'm little my dad always says he's scared that he his real self is 90 something years old looking at a picture on a fireplace mantle of him when he was young and his whole life is a memory that has inspired we have had far too many morality chats today thank you a little bit a little dissociated in this moment like just like imagine if real you is just like i don't know i don't know i don't want to because i like you i like imagining like frogs sometimes like dancing sometimes i feel like i'm fake me oh sometimes i feel like i'm faking me um anyway anyway yeah i do want kids and i've always wanted kids and i feel like most of my friends want kids but i think it's more normal to say now i don't want kids and people are just like yeah that's [ __ ] fine whereas like i feel like in our parents generation if a woman was like i don't want kids it would be like huh what what are you from pennsylvania yeah that's a pretty you all got the amish huh yeah but i'm also from philly so it's like i don't really know that part you're more meek mill yeah exactly okay so let me go yeah you go way back and i know that so is it pretty family-centric though still at where you grew up no i feel like it's like a very like mostly like yeah it could yeah but also it's like a liberal city like lots of that's more what i'm tempted because i don't know how you feel but i felt the pressure so hard all through high school and college of the ring by spring thing of if i wasn't engaged by the time i was 21 years old graduating college or had that like engaged and pregnant i'm a failure oh i never it's it's it's definitely a texas thing and you were at a m and i was at ut and ut to a m and well a m and baylor i feel like are more ring by spring yeah ut is like not at all like ut's like yeah well i mean there's groups of people that that are like that but like i think and they're just now getting engaged there was no like college engagements that i was seeing and i have no friends that are engaged or even close wild yeah almost well i wouldn't say almost all but like a good portion of my college uh close college friends are engaged or married wow point in my life we're 20 i'm about to turn 25. it's like i can't imagine like this i don't want children i can't feel you down now or ever in the future wow i value my independence which i'm a selfish nasty little goblin gremlin girl goblin mode never being alone and needing this will be uh i feel that that'll be a good clip to use in your hallmark movies you're just a city girl i'm just too career-centric i don't want kids i don't want to you don't either right connor i do oh you do i've never said that yeah i thought i can't imagine like anytime soon but sure accidents happen uh-huh so who knows i think it's just like more i'm sure i think it's just more normalized now to be like i don't want kids and everyone's like okay that's fine whereas before like in our parents generation if you were like i don't want kids there would have been what's wrong i mean my parents are always like when are we gonna get grandkids and i'm like adopt some i don't know dude does that have to do with me yeah get a dog i will say my grandparents who i'm really close with they got married when they were 17 18. had my parents really like then yeah or my mom and then my mom had me when she was 27 and i mean my mom had met my dad by by this point and i'm writing matthew gregobler fan fiction so that's god damn terrifying man yeah i was thinking about that the other day you just bought the premium wallpaper i am subscribed for life babe i was thinking about that the other day like i was i was at my parents house and uh my grandpa's purple heart is on display and a picture of him jumping out of a plane to kill nazis and he was my age and i cried on the phone with spectrum trying to reset the router we are moving at a different pace this generation i mean grandfather 98 he's passed on but yes he i think he would have been 98 yeah actually because my grandma's 92. jesus yeah she's an old broad yeah she loves gambling i think it keeps her younger hey we everyone's got their vices whatever oxygen they're pumping into those casinos is keeping her fresh sebastian stan would have loved my grandmother um gross okay well i think okay i think we probably wrap up brittany it's been so fun so easy because brittany like has the best laugh best laugh best stories like just best bet i mean i just can't wait to go on your podcast and also just be with you in general please listen to violating community guidelines with brittany and sarah it is so [ __ ] good um really for i think what we're going to explore on on our my podcast is um the power of duos have a lot of solid questions for these yeah these internet coopers yeah and we can't wait to answer i'm sure we'll touch on some more ethical cloud chasing too because that was fascinating that it really is yeah i've got questions and i'm sure we'll touch on more fan fiction so yeah um well thank you guys feel free to move forward with pressing that subscribe button that would be really helpful what subscribe button the butt the button that subscribe the [ __ ] subscribe button um email us brooke the airbnc that's drbanc gmail.com um and you can find us as b and c m ap on all social platforms so thank you again thanks for listening thank you brittany and we just love you guys thank you smooches [Laughter]

Channel: TMG Studios

Views: 461,031

Keywords: Brooke, Connor, Lady, Efron, Fibula, Kombuch, Kuombucha, Queen, Girl, Tik, Tok, TikTok, hot, take, funny

Id: EHF0y8SO2_0

Length: 75min 52sec (4552 seconds)

Published: Thu Mar 24 2022