Ep 181: Breaking Up with Your Thoughts: An interview with Byron Katie

testing testing testing hello hello hi good morning I can't hear you for some reason oh really oh my goodness on my end see mine seems to be fine oh there you are YY yay oh so nice to meet you what an honor oh thank you you do such good work oh really thank you well you you've done a little you've done a little work in you beautiful stuff wow oh my God my hairs are all standing up your authenticity en courage it's really impressive oh my goodness you're making me glow you know I heard you talk about shame and you're so transparent it's oh I'm just so grateful you're so grateful you're in the world oh my God you're gonna make me cry well I feel the same way about you I am um not in common very humbl to to be able to speak with you today um and I'm a big fan of your work and I've recommended your books to my uh clients and my listeners um so yeah thank you so much for the kind words um well I was so just so you know this is a very casual type of show I don't do many interviews and when I do it's just like you know whatever comes up and we go in all different directions so it's a very kind of free form and you lead the way and I will be happy to follow okay amazing um well first I want to just introduce you do you go by I read that you go by Katie is that right Byron Katie Katie eventually you just fall into Katie okay great um well the amazing and one and only Byron Katie um author speaker uh World changer I mean you I know you do um trainings as as well so all different types of work um any other plugs that I should throw in the mix there oh I do a on Monday Tuesday and Wednesday of every week I do a 9 to 10 AM um just freefor all oh wow yeah on um people can find it on on the work.com I guess oh great okay I might join that too now that I know about it some that's awesome oh my gosh it's just it's just they're they're just so they're they're it's amazing what they'll yeah they're just um well there's nothing I can say about people that you wouldn't understand being connected to them and watching their courage I bet yeah I mean that's kind of like church I I would imagine yeah the church from from well from from held a church all within the church yeah totally um but like a replacement for it I feel like you know that's kind of what so many people are searching for in uh just what can replace that level of I guess H humble awe you know that you get from being able to be in a pre the presence of something greater and I feel like someone like you could probably offer somebody something like that um well okay so the part of the reason wanted to talk with you is just because I feel like so much of what my audience struggles with and what I struggle with is really like disengaging from old thought patterns teaching ourselves out of them um overcoming kind of like the the kind of emotional baggage that's stuck in your body where it kind of triggers you to revisit a time and a place and one thing I think I love about your work in particular is it's so uh simple and it's something that people can do to just kind of disengage like see the thinking that's happening in in their brain and disengage from it and have like an actual choice in their life whether or not they want to succumb to it and follow it or choose something different which is kind of like the secret to everything in in some ways it's like being able to free yourself from all these old um all this old programming um so I'm start with like a big big question um how do we let go of stories that kind of keep us trapped in anger and resent because I think a lot of people get stuck there well self inquiry is is um what I'm all about and and it takes a a very open mind to look into one's self but let's say um I have a trauma around someone that was really really hurting me really hurting me and um and I would go back and the ego is happy to take us back there because it occurs and occurs and occurs even when it's not even going on it's occurring and we're going on with our day it's it becomes like an habitual thing that we don't even know is there anymore but it's living in us and it's part of our identity so um with what I call the judge your neighbor worksheets people anchor in a time and place so in the situation where he was hurting me it doesn't matter if it was 40 years ago or yesterday it doesn't matter it's it's um it's in me hurt and it doesn't have to be a trauma it can be like the tiniest little thing when our feelings or hurt can shift the rest of our lives make us so um uh self aware and then we we offer up these facades we think we can hide behind and that is just living as living falsely and we know it but it's the best we can do so I invite people to to identify in in this case for example that situation I don't want to go there to go you know we do it involuntarily it's what the ego offers up so now let's do it on purpose to go back where he was doing that harm he was hurting me in that situation and it takes courage and then identify what I was thinking and believing cool so it's like a time travel oh yeah and I have um um I have um this process is about identifying well I'll say it I'll say it this way honey it's it's the cause of suffering is what I was thinking and believing in any given situation it cannot be the perpetrator and that does not mean he didn't do what he did and say what he said and the whole nine yards it doesn't let him off the hook it's just that what I was thinking and believing in the situ ation that was the cause of my suffering and that is just how it is so to identify those I have a thing I call the judge and neor worksheet there's six questions on it and as we stay anchored in that situation and again it takes courage it's like specifically what is the emotion like all of them running but name one what what what emotion you know do you are you most in touch with and um and why okay so um I am furious with him because he hurt me and I know where he hurt me how he hurt me that's all running in me he hurt me right I could say more but I love keeping it simple and um and if there's more there I wouldn't hesitate to put it I just want to keep it simple yeah and then the second question there is in that situation what did I want so I've got to sit in that trauma if I'm going to fill in this worksheet what did I want from him I want him I wanted him to stop hurting me I want want him to hear [Music] me I want him to apologize for what he did to me and then when I feel empty I move to the third question and that is in that situation what advice to get what I want what advice what I offer him and see I don't have to guess it's un running it was running in that situ situation I'm just collecting old business right right own so he should he shouldn't he should stop what he's doing he should hear me he shouldn't hurt he shouldn't physically hurt he shouldn't physically hurt me and it might be physically and emotionally mhm and then the next one on the on the worksheet there are only six questions to answer and the next one is what do I need to be happy in that situation I need him to stop what he's doing I need him to apologize and walk away and maybe not even apologize I need him to stop what he's doing and walk away I don't even want him to stick around long enough to Pol to to apologize right because I'm in it you can hear how I'm I'm living through it right so then the um the next one on the judgeing neighbor worksheet is on what is it that I never want to experience with him or that situation again and I never want him to touch me again I never want to be hurt by him again and so now the worksheets filled in and there is there is what I wanted what I needed to be happy what there is my expression that I was experiencing then okay so then I look at each one of those one by one giving respect to each thought and I question it I anchor I stay anchored in the situation and I question the thoughts like I want him to stop is it true yes I wanted him to stop and I might go back to the yes and God that's a I wanted him to stop is it true it couldn't possibly be no but something tripped me back there so I'm going to give it time what opens in that space when we sit in ourself and there are no other Witnesses it's just me with me don't know what you're going to find but until you find it it's like the princess and the pee there's there and those mattresses are on top of us and we can't just shove them aside that's where addiction takes on life ooh so it is just you know how do I react when I believe the thought I want him to stop let's see I've been experiencing that for 40 years okay a person that gets still in that they can see how they react the thing they're addicted to shows up and I use the um uh example of imag imine right now biting into a big ripe juicy lemon and you feel it oh totally so how do I react when I believe the thought that physical thing happens oh totally yeah and and what do we do with that then something shows up automatically the E offer up the ice cream the dope the cigarette the the whatever it is when it when it when the ego has nowhere to go it offers that up it's got you and then let's say it's alcohol you've already had your first drink it's like the lemon your mouth it's already happening and nothing happened but an image of of that in your mind times like if you've been alcoholic for so long times a thousand or who knows the number so that's what you're dealing with and then it shows you the ego offers up where to find it where to find the substance and um and you're already there before you're there so in that process the six steps after youve done the six steps then you're doing the process of inquiry the four question we should probably recap the four questions just in case somebody is not is not familiar with your work the first one is is it true and then the second one is um how do you react what happens when you think the thought that you're questioning and who would you be without it so is it true how do you react when you think the thought and who would you be without it and and when we look at shame and blame you know how do I react when I believe the thought I blame I feel shame I'm there and I don't even know I'm there I'm reliving the whole thing and I don't re I'm asleep in a dream it's just like being asleep at night having a nightmare or just a mild dream it's the same it's like it's happening in the day the life is a um life is imagination it's imagined we see the past we see the future and we very rarely can stay here because ego's like ego is showing us other life another life past future and so what is the process after the after I've so I've stopped I've done my six questions now I've done the four questions on that first whatever it is the first set of this should have I want this to happen do I eventually get to the point of practicing not being so invested in those sets of feelings or what is organic I want him to stop is it true and I really pondered that one you know like if it's true I can't be a victim if it's true I mean I'm really sitting and I want him to stop is it true because there's a there are a lot of perks in being a victim and and control over that person I mean it gets really weird so I hesitated there and it all depends on the okay so is it true and and I'm landing in and I really looked at it well I looked at the yes I looked at the no and yes yes I want him to stop yeah I I got in touch with it not what I'm thinking of believing now I'm looking at then I want him to stop okay so um how do I react when I believe the thought and then I look at um I meditating that how do I react when I think that thought I want them to stop and you know it's I just invite people to to sit in that and see for themselves you know I have my own and it's different for every situation that I look at but um then the last one last question who would I be without the thought and um and you know Buddhists talk about compassion and that fourth one it's where I understood from personal experience compassion who would I be without the thought I want him to stop I can't stop him you know because I am witnessing there now I couldn't but who would I be without the thought I want him to stop I saw his face and in this situation I saw fear all over him and I just said in that and compassion just happened and I'm thinking and this may sound strange but what position is is less painful and you know I'm seeing in that situation [Music] mine H then I saw I can't change it I sit in it I don't try to change it I don't try to make it I don't try to unmake it that fourth question is so powerful who would I be without the thought I want him to stop or who would I be without my story plastered all over him at the time so I get to I get to see without that so I just dropped me look at him and wow so I want him to stop I want me to stop there's another turnar around okay what happened what he did has been years and when I look at I want me to stop then it's on it's on me not in a bad way but just to notice when when it reoccurs to remember that compassion and have a little of that for myself and just notice that it's not happening now and experience the release in that the Gratitude of that and and it's almost as though compassion has taken it over but we've only looked at one you has really had a strong effect there but we've just looked at one thing on that judge and aable worksheet just one so if people set through everything they wrote they do those four questions and turn around with everything they they wrote then um what happens is um is it is um we wake up to ourselves we wake up to reality it is um it's so powerful because it's you with you and there's no one coming there's no help and you're going into that Darkness and and uh seeing what's there and taking responsibility for what I was thinking in believing and he has his but and you know this is a this is a big deal to understand from experience that it's what I was thinking and believing that was the cause of my suffering not what he was doing and that doesn't mean it didn't hurt and that didn't doesn't mean it didn't affect the rest of my life but I'm awake taken care of my part and how many times have I had the thought I want him to stop I want her to stop I want them to stop I mean it just goes on and on and on so it wakes me up to the rest of my life just doing that one worksheet it's interesting because it's like I mean I have so many things in my brain that are resistant at the same time like I have my adult brain that's like oh I totally can take this apart logically and see all the applicable things that make sense to me and then I have this like resistant part that's like I think mo more likely the younger child traumatized part that's like no no but I can't let go I can't let go of that story it's a it's a big deal because there goes your there goes your identity this is little thing we're sitting in know who am I without that I don't even know I mean I There Goes My victimhood that's terrifying who am I without that yeah it's um it's a it's uh it's it's a big ask of oneself right well I think the key at least I'm this is my interpretation of what you're saying is like it's not about saying it's okay and it's not about saying this was should happen or should ever happen it's more about reclaiming your happened it happened and me and that's not right no it doesn't it doesn't change that doesn't change it right but in that process of like this kind of digging in the dark in many ways what I'm noticing is like through that excavation process you can have a choice of putting down the story I didn't I won't have a story it's like I question it and it lets go of me yeah yeah I don't let go of it it's nothing I have to do it it lets go of me that's nuts yeah because it's true I mean I remember it the most with just I had a friend who died when I was in in uh middle school and she was my best friend and I was the witness to it and I in that moment was like I will never ever I like promised it to myself I will never ever let go of her I'll never ever heal from this and that lodged so just tightly in my body that I couldn't you know process it cuz I was like I had chosen not to and I think a lot of matter of Integrity you promised go against Integrity oh can't do that you know what does that say about me right did I not mean it a it's it's a kind in the situation that you're describing it's like a spell we cast on ourselves yeah totally well and I think a lot of people do that without consciously deciding it when it when something is has hurt us enough I think we unconsciously decide like I will never ever get over this because that's how much it meant yeah and it's not even safe to got to remember because that's you know that's a safety thing oh boy boy oh boy ego it's um it's worth listening to and and you know I have an expression all war belongs on paper and in that paper those six questions on the judge and neighbor worksheet it takes courage to even fill that [Music] in do do you ever find that when you're working with people who are in that stage of growth and change that it's too much and they can't can't even fill that out like do people I'm imagining that it would be a lot to to bear you know what I mean yeah it it it can be but it's it's a big ask of oneself but it's nothing anyone has to do this this is U this is true self-help and for me it requires going into the darkness and you know into the whole the bottomless hole not knowing if I'll ever come out again or not that's where I started can you um talk a little bit about because I I I've read your books and I know the story but can you just talk about a little bit about how you arrived at this process of excavation and self inquiry it was um um more than a decade at least a decade of just just self-loathing um agoraphobia most of the time was just spent in my bedroom but the house for sure to leave the house was just terrifying and um and um one day as I lay sleeping on the floor even though there's my bed in the room I didn't I was so full of self-loathing I didn't believe I even deserve to sleep in a bed and asleep on the floor FL and this bug crawls over my foot and before my ego could jump in and fill the space I saw how my world was created and the way that I saw that was there was nothing that's without identification because there was no thought no eye when as that bug crawled over me I woke up so in that space then all of a sudden there was a window and I saw this this kind of square thing and the word window hit it and then it was a window so there was the image and the word window and then light was coming through the window and then there was light and then the whole world the whole room came into existence for me walls ceiling floor and and I'm still not identified as I it's just watching the world begin it was just and and I hold that today everything's new and I'm open because I UND open to the world because I understand the nature of everything and its nature is good it is goodness and this term we use love and there's no there's nothing other than that other than what the ego offers up and we live we all have the same privilege of living now and everything terrible that has ever happened to us is in our head we call it the past but that past is always happening now that's it's happening in our head so yes he did what he did but it's left in my head so that makes it mine not his so um I I I saw you know I'm angry at blank because or I'm terrified at blank because get in touch with the emotion and then the rest of it is I want he should he shouldn't or they whoever it is and and and to be happy I need it's just that it's all on those six questions on the judge and neighbor worksheet it's all right there it's just circular that's what I learned on the floor it's just it's circular and then the first sound out of me was laughter Oh really just and and it that was really strange to laugh oh my goodness it was you know it's it was something it was involuntary and I didn't stop it and it just it just came up and so that was that was the first sound and it's like I got the joke I got the joke it's like why didn't someone tell me it's so it's kind of um similar to eart to's story it's like a you know modern day Enlightenment kind of moment that I feel like so many people crave because in many ways I mean to be able to like see behind the curtain or I don't know how to describe it be the have the ego be quiet for a minute is almost like um yeah I think recognizing the the authorship we all have in our brain I mean I talked a lot about on my show about the lens like you can tell yourself a really bad story about today you can tell yourself a really good story about today and both are equally true at any given time yeah and we very much script it's so powerful to know that option's there because when we're in one it obliterates the idea of that other option until someone points it out like you pointed out and and then we go oh gosh yeah and and we really have to test it too before we can even believe you yeah and in many ways I think a lot of because it works both ways kind of like what you described is like it works in the present and how you experience every move moment that you move through in your life also works with the past in what what kind of is Inc coding your energy or or your voluntary energy as you move through life and think I don't know I always think about like that process of both backwards and forwards allows you to fully fall in love with reality yeah in the truest sense because you're like it just is I don't have to do anything it just is I don't have to worry about it I don't have to control it I don't have to change anybody I don't have to judge other people takes so much responsibility off your plate I'm like what a [Music] relief um I think a lot of my audience also so like myself has a or has has an upbringing and a a pattern of relating to others that many call codependency and I think codependency is very intertwined with your tools just because so much of codependency is the pain caused by really expecting other people to do certain things a certain way and being very invested in what they think and feel and what they should think and feel um so I was wondering if you could speak to a little bit just like how this either inquiry or the six judge or neighbor work sheet could apply to a person who's let's say in a relationship where they are painfully reliant on the responses of a partner yeah to um to find a situation where that partner they're having difficulty with that partner maybe you know they depend on them and the partner is not cooperating but you to find a an a place where um you were angry uh frightened upset um and and then just identify what you were thinking and believing in that situation and fill in those six questions on the worksheet it covers it all it's it's um it's um that's all there is you know I'm blank because and I want I need you should you shouldn't I don't ever want to and that's what the ego offers up that's it and after the six questions because I know you had a very instantaneous response when you were when you woke up and you were like window light like it hit you all the truth hit you at once and you couldn't unlearn it for people people who are well I saw it wasn't true and and um because and until it HD my head it wasn't true so window is not my head so it was it was just like the laughter came from you know it's like it's a joke it was a trick of Mind life is a trick of mind and and um yeah so i y do you think that because I'm like picturing picturing just people I've worked with in the past and like I think there is the desire to let go of the story like the the desperate desire and then the physical response is where they get stuck yeah it's a part of how I react when I believe the thought and then it's how do I react when I believe the thought he hit me for example I imagined he was going to hit me let's say he hit me three times he hit me once I imagine he's going to hit me again and so I am hit before he hits me and then he raises his hand and I see the past where he hit me and I see the future where he's going to hit me again and I'm terrified well did he am I frightened of him or is it my ego that is frightening me I don't even that makes sense when I say it that way but it's it's what what I'm thinking and believing what the ego is offering up of past future that is causing all pain is either remembered or anticipated so true I mean like 99.9% of it yeah so when I have the I want him to stop then you know he didn't do it yes he hit me yes he hit me but he didn't do the part that is traumatizing me right um cool I mean it's funny because like are anticipated it's it's like it's such a it's it's so simple but it's also like your brain almost like you know it by heart obviously because you've done it times a million I've got some I've done a few worksheets yeah lot of work sheets yeah but it's it's funny because you almost have to like you have to I keep having to teach my brain the qu the equation and like realizing it I've realized it I don't know how many times now but I'm like oh wow like finally clicks but you're like reminding your brain to step back and see just the shape on the wall That's the window and not call it window just yet that's kind of the stage that it's teaching people to you know yeah and there was no eye there was no room there was no there was no anything and and then you know life appeared and and you know I I've occasionally called it you know my first moment is where born I was born on the floor at age 43 and but you know but I can't say that I am any more alive than the light coming through the window meaning it's all a state of mind this is um Earth School where we come in just to pick up the pieces where and and so this world is to me it's it's like may sound strange to some but it's Heaven it's a place where there's no downside no downside it's a place like Earth school to learn that it's what I'm thinking and believing about the world that is costing me the privilege of living in this world so true so true um yeah and so I feel like in many ways you're teaching people how to see reality and see the moment they're in well you know it's it's on it's if I say the word Apple then you see an image of an apple and it's probably red and and when people um you know my mother said I'm your mother or my siblings said mom Mom Mom and or ask your mother and until finally it clicks that that's my mother and prior to that I didn't have one didn't even know what it was so it's like this this identity came into being and but of mind not body and a body comes with it in Earth school you know cause and effect but when we're sleep sleeping at night we're not dreaming we don't have a body there's no we there's no IE yeah very profound and I think um well one thing that happens I think the one of the descriptions that I forgot which book it was in but it was in one of your books your the process is very much like getting a car stuck in the mud like pushing it back and forth in the mud to get it out of a rut and I do think that made a lot of sense to me just because it's like in this process of looking at something first of all stepping back from it then looking at it from all sides and turning it around looking it upside down it gives you enough space to see that all of that is optional and all of that is written in our minds just meditating in a moment in time when I was believing like he hurt me and there were a lot of moments there but I'm anchoring in that situation where he hit me and just asking those question and answering the questions and um once you know once you get that it's so far reaching you see and experience a kind of compassion that you cannot make fear happen again and the next time you think about it you know the same situation Rises to your mind you can't make yourself afraid you can't make yourself you can't make your and your stomach doesn't turn over and your chest doesn't hurt you don't want you don't you know you don't feel like you have to bombit again you don't it changes everything wake up from that dream you can't make that dream a dream that's so true I that resonates so much because I feel like that is exactly the process uh I mean I very much preach therapy to my audience just because it worked really well for me and I think think that is very similar to the what occurred for me in therapy was you're you're digging through that thing you're sometimes reliving that thing you're processing all of the conflicting feelings you have around around it you're trying on you're exposing guilt you're taking about accountability and through that process it's like the wound just kind of gets exposed to air and then it doesn't hurt anymore it's like nope I already got all the gut I gutted all the the sickness out of that thing yeah it loses potency yeah wow and did you I'm so curious when you were so after your moment of Enlightenment I'm sure your kids were like what's going on did you have a mental break what happened was it pretty much like you kind of knew exactly what to do with this information or did it happen organically or how did it evolve into what it is now I'm just so curious well just really unrecognizable um unrecognizable every Everything shifted I mean just being out of bed and dressing and showering and brushing my teeth who is that but um beyond the physical you know I I picked up a cigarette and and it looked crazy to me and was like she's gonna what she's gonna what with what and I mean it was just it was just it was crazy so and my choices around food shifted everything started shifting and and um um yeah it was it was really radical because I got such a heavy dose MH but it didn't stop me from from from it didn't stop the Mind from putting the stuff out that I needed to I called it undoing my world and and I saw it as a kindness and and a respect that anything that would that would anything powerful enough to make a world could it's just respectful to sit in and you know is it true can I really know that it's true and notice how I reacted and um who I'd be without it and and uh to meditate in those four questions and then how do I react when I believe the thought and it's it's I have a lot of you know I Hur people I said things I did things and no Enlightenment is going to change that even though I know it is a state of mind that it is not happening now wasn't enough those people that I said what I said and I did what I did that was hurtful harmful it showed me in in in that worksheet as I said in those it showed me specifically just meticulously what I said what I did specifically what to admit to what to apologize for and how to make it right it's it's just all there it's all there and you know it had to be because it had to come out of that first experience on the floor and it's um I just saw how the world was created and how to end it so in that in the six steps that gave you the opportunity to in many ways fall in love with reality including the reality of what needed to be repaired does that this the six questions on the judge and neighbor worksheet showed me my thoughts the thing I was what I was thinking and believing in any given situation so it's a meditative process it's an exercise and Stillness to be there now and collect what you were thinking and believing and write it down and and um and then the four questions you go back and and I would go back and use those with everything on my judge your neighbor worksheet and then like for example um I want him to stop how do I you know turned around I want me to stop and so it doesn't come up like something I have to do it's an exercise in forgiveness exercise in making it right it is far from something I have to do it's an exercise in kindness and compassion and self-love that gives the world a Kinder human being in me just continues to to um to um to show me how to live those worksheets because with that kind of of full dose on the floor I had no idea how to live and and so those turnarounds you know they became life to me how to how to live like I want him to apologize for what he did you know I I want me to apologize for what I did and let's say I said or did something to hurt him just this tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny little thing and his was a thousand bows just much more than I could even begin to count but no princess in the PE again I've got to take care of this one thing and that is and it doesn't necessarily have to be with him but with someone you know I starting with myself you know I it's yep yep I did it and and how do I react when I believe the thought oh it gets really egoic it gets really the eag just can can just own us if we don't have a little self support and and way out because you know how do we take care of it otherwise through addiction addiction behaviors um um false identities I think a lot of people take on false identities because if you had if you hold on to it and you don't look at it you're kind of telling yourself it's true and then you script out your identity and things compound you know play out I'm not hurt and um and that is just untrue so now we're just we're we're living something that's not true that's why I think sharing um is so important you know having someone you know first with yourself than having someone you can you can share with which is what you uh spoke to when you mentioned [Music] therapy someone that understands or um the 12-step programs and people's churches and people they trust and there's you know a good friend absolutely yeah I mean I feel like you know almost you're almost reminding people of their own you know god-given rights birth given rights to just exist without the stories or without the conditioning without the stories you told yourself without the stories somebody else told you the stories continue to happen it's just that that there's no attachment to them they don't hold the power you've questioned them and they're not what you thought they were isn't who you thought them you believe them to be they're not just that so much more people are everything they're they're kind they're not they're they're they're trouble they're happy I mean we're you know there's no one that isn't like us um one thing that came to mind just picturing um when you do get to this state of non-judgment at least this something I found is that hard change gets a lot easier as well in including stuff that like maybe we've been denying that we don't want we think we don't want you know like accepting this person doesn't treat me well I don't want to be with this person and when we resist that or when we are in our mind arguing with reality and saying like they should be doing this they should be doing like when we get into that controlling State when we can go through the process of inquiry or just letting go of the Judgment I think what becomes really wonderful is a lot of healthy change opens up because all of a sudden you arrive at just what is and it's not so bad it just things have to be done it's not bad just it allows you to correct maybe things that aren't working in your life yeah which I think is so profound yeah um uh I want wanted to ask you about um when it comes to feelings of um grief do you feel that this work can still work for people or oh yeah it's um grief is um is you're not here for me let one of my children let's say one of my children died that's a big metaphor I don't you know but I'll use it say one of my children die and what is my grief about you know they're not going to be here for me I won't see them again well that's not true I see them in my mind's eye and just like I have three children Grand I have grandchildren and I see them in my my mind's eye you know they they and and I'm assuming they're alive but let's say one of them died and I don't have the news yet where's my grief but you know something happens to one of one of them let's say death and they're not going to be here to say hi Mom they're not going to be here to say I love you Mom they're not going to call me on the phone and say mom I need you to help me you know all all the all the things that that we love so you know grief is um yeah it's a it's a big deal and a real thing it's just not about that person that died you know is and isn't you know the thing is you know about that person that died is I love that person the end that's it I love that person and and um that can never die that's why the work we're talking about is so important whatever way we find and whatever whatever our inner work is it's so important um because that's yeah Earth School Earth school has your as you have gone through your career have you has it changed for you since the beginning or has it stayed pretty much the same just practicing this with people across the world could you ask it differently have you found uh that how you feel practicing this has deepened or has altered in the years that you've done it um you know I can't really say that what has radically shifted is my ability to artic articulate um um my experience and um and yeah my experience and but you know for an agoraphobic you know as my life changed for an agoraphobic to all of a sudden be flying all over the world by invitation and and working with thousands and thousands of people and out of a Fearless state of mind and tirelessly it seems is um yeah that's quite a shift from someone that couldn't get out of bed yeah oh yeah absolutely yeah you were born 43 obviously yeah I mean one thing that has or I feel like has slowly started to happen for me as I've yeah my brain is just more comfortable thinking in this language and then I'm also I feel much more immediate or connected with people whereas previously I feel like I was too trapped in the Judgment but that's probably just you know a distance yeah exactly self-protective thing that distance is um is well I lost that on the floor oh boy the world is in me um well I am I want to be respectful of your time I feel like I could talk to you all day but um I would love to remind people your uh website is the work.com is that correct Byron katy.com orth work.com yeah and I have a nine-day school for the work I didn't mention that to you nay school for the work coming up in March and it's it is so radical amazing and the worksheets are those available on your website as well always free on the work.com and there's a 99 sent app too on work app and it's so good it's so good it's not like um um you know it it's an old one but it just does the job so well and but york.com and then I have a a helpline that um there are um facilitators there that they don't charge money and they just support people just to kind of I call it just kind of learn how to ride the bicycle you know they help them fill in the worksheet and and get them familiar with the four questions and turnarounds and oh wow amazing yeah I mean I can't imagine how many people in the world you've helped but I'm sure it's exponentially growing well one to the other to the other it's it's a it's a it's a beautiful thing like you you found something so valuable you just have to just have to share [Music] it um well I'm so grateful to have spoken with you and you're a beautiful person and I'm thank you very grateful for all your work well thank you for your transparency and authenticity and the way that you give it really is extraordinary and I appreciate you oh thank you so much you're in this world honey well um I will be glowing for the rest of the week thanks to you um and I will put links to all of your um all the things you mentioned in the show notes of the episode and um thank you so very much Byron Katie honey I'm gonna call you friend this has just been just so sweet being with you thank you friend all right well have a great West every week I I call you beloved oh wow I love it all right goodbye

Channel: sarahmayb

Views: 8,171

Keywords: byron katie, the work, changing your thoughts, working with trauma, letting go of emotional baggage, processing trauma, putting down pain

Id: 3WbnQMWdEX4

Length: 62min 2sec (3722 seconds)

Published: Tue Oct 10 2023