Entitled Friend is UNGRATEFUL because I can't AFFORD to go to her OVERSEAS WEDDING - Reddit Podcast

am I the jerk for declining to attend my friend's destination wedding all because I can't afford to go out of the country while also trying to meet my professional and financial goals because after I told my friend this she freaked out on me and is now questioning my friendship with her claiming that I'm selfish and unsupportive and that I would prioritize material things over our friendship and now I feel totally lost and at this point I seriously don't know what to do here's what happened I'm a 20-year-old female and I need some advice on a situation that has left me feeling conflicted and unsure if I'm in the wrong here's what's happening my friend let's call her Sarah recently announced that she's getting married to her longtime partner and for the sake of the story we'll call him Alex I was thrilled for her and I couldn't wait to celebrate their special day however Sarah dropped a bombshell when she revealed that the wedding would be a destination Affair taking place in an exotic location halfway across the world while I was excited for Sarah and Alex I knew that attending their destination wedding would be a significant commitment both financially and in terms of time off of work as much as I wanted to be there for Sarah on her big day I had to consider my own circumstances I've been saving up for a down payment on a house and the cost of attending the destination wedding would set me back significantly additionally I had already used up most of my vacation days for the year and I couldn't afford to take more time off of work I struggle with the decision for weeks torn between wanting to support Sarah and needing to prioritize my own financial and Prof professional goals ultimately I made the difficult decision to decline the invitation to the destination wedding I reached out to Sarah personally to explain my decision emphasizing how much I valued our friendship and how I wished her and Alex all the happiness in the world I apologize profusely for not being able to attend and offered to celebrate with them in person once they returned from their honeymoon however Sarah didn't take my decision well she accused me of being selfish and unsupportive claiming that I was prioritizing material Poss sessions over our friendship she told me that she had expected more from me and that she felt hurt and betrayed by my choice so honestly am I the jerk in this situation what should I do honestly the entitlement of your friend is absolutely astronomical first of all she's having a destination wedding meaning that it's outside of the United States and I don't know if Sarah knows this or not but traveling outside the United States is very expensive and most people just don't have those kinds of funds available so for her to be like wow I can't believe you right now you're so selfish and unsupportive like dude what are you talking about you are being so unreasonable it's not even funny like she literally is already ostracizing people who can't afford to go to her stupid wedding but she's also acting entitled in the process as if her wedding's the most important thing in the world like seriously what is happening right now this kind of entitlement is so uncalled for it's not even funny and if she really was your friend she would be more understanding that you literally can't afford to go to this stupid wedding for her to sit there and be like oh my God our friendship means nothing but like seriously if you flip this around look at the way she's acting she is literally questioning your integrity all because you can't afford to go to her stupid wedding like that is straight up disgusting and there is no good excuse for that like this Sarah lady just gives off main character syndrome like come on and honestly if she's going to have a destination wedding to begin with then she has got to expect that some people are just not going to be able to make it so no you are definitely not the jerk if anything Sarah is a massive oil jerk especially when she assumes that you don't want to be her friend all because you can't afford to go to her stupid wedding because in my opinion you have not done anything wrong you made the responsible decision and you definitely exposed that Sarah is not a good friend if you like am I the jerk you're probably going to love am I the genius check it out link Down Below in the description also go to am I Thee jerk.com sssubmit if you would like to submit your own stories my entitled Karen of a mother makes a scene at a restaurant causing problems just for the sake of causing them and taking out her anger at our server for a $2 upch charge and I'm honestly just so done with her attitude that at this point I seriously don't know what to do here's what happened okay so I'm about 38 years old and my mother is 65 and in truth I've lived a much rougher life than she has I keep hoping that she might grow up and we can have a decent relationship you know feel close feel like she is proud of me or at least knows who I am below is a tiny story and I solicit your thoughts about about it generally speaking I'm interested in your suggestions on dealing with my entitled parents who are allergic to logic love to punish good people and feel entitled Beyond Reason and they always insist on being in the right so with that bit of context here's what's going on I went to The Cheesecake Factory with my mom to catch up and as per usual she makes a request in her order where she wanted to swap some sides for green beans by the way absolutely no qualms with the service in fact our server had made an extra effort at the bar to make sure my mom's drink was correct my mom had ordered a martini with very specific instructions when the check comes my mom is annoyed at a surprise upch charge of about $2 just because she substituted her side she declares her intention of bringing this up with the manager or at least with the server I asked her why and she said to me the Cheesecake Factory is a corporation and they should make changes if customers are dissatisfied I told her if she had a problem with the upcharge she should just take it up with a company and not the employees who literally have nothing to do with the company policy I told her there was probably some way to make a comment on the website and according to our mom our server was negligent when she did not inform her of the additional charge in the moment which would have required interrupting my mom too by the way I told my mom that if she insisted on reprimanding a server who had been exceptionally attentive at a freaking chain restaurant I would just leave my card pay for half and walk around the mall by myself even with mild protest maintaining my sanity and a refusal to be associated with her behavior I still left and she did it anyways my mom called me later and we met up I asked her if she had gotten refunded the $2 for the green beans she looked flustered and said to me no so I said to her so you wanted to reprimand our server and not get a refund again she was really flustered and she was fumbling her words she said to me well not reprimand exactly but I stopped her and I said then why did you bring it up my mom then said because she should have been knowledgeable about the upcharge and let me know when I ordered so I said to her great now she knows hopefully she'll do better next time now for reference my mom has apologized to me once in my life I took a screenshot of the text just to remember it when confronted she plays the victim and I'm open to thoughts about ways to handle these stupid interactions because we can't talk about anything meaningful ever as an example I'm a therapist when I told my mom about my client's profound troubling history her reaction was to ask whether it was part of my job to investigate the authenticity of such a story and this was insulting to the client who had a giant team that I'd been working with for a year but also to me because I guess I can't catch a liar there should honestly be a name for the giant Rift between Generations where all substance goes because when it comes to my mom I seriously am so flustered and at this point I seriously don't know what to do wow the way she treated that server is so unacceptable she literally only brought this up so she could complain not because she was trying to get anything fixed or anything like that she just wanted to give somebody a piece of her mind like that is so disgusting it's not even funny like at that point just take the upch charge and move on with your life it literally was only $2 and here's the thing that server is not obligated to say that oh it's going to be a $2 up charge like that is ridiculous in my opinion that stuff is most likely plastered somewhere in the store or in the menus in general so honestly I think your mom is just a massive jerk and I think if I was in your shoes I would really limit my interactions with her in public because clearly she's always looking for a problem and I know if I was in your place I would not want to be there when something inevitably goes wrong my partner of 7 years confessed to cheating right before our wedding and now I feel like my whole world's been flipped upside down and at this point I seriously don't know what to do here's what happened my partner and I have been together for 7 years reconnecting in college after knowing each other since middle school we've been living together for about 3 years and he proposed a little over a year ago and I was beyond thrilled we had a wedding date set for this year and plans for starting a family however devastatingly he revealed to me a month ago that he's cheated on me several times during our relationship with the most recent incident occurring last August I am heartbroken beyond words he claims that when he was younger his father took him to a massage parlor which confused him because sketchy things happened there if you know what I mean he told me he only felt guilty afterwards and he had to share this with me to avoid bringing lies into our marriage while I understand he's been through some awful stuff there is no excuse for cheating my world has been turned upside down because he was my everything he was my sweet supportive and seemingly perfect person in my life he supported me through mental breakdowns through grad school through career changes and so much more he was the guy that opened my car door bought me flowers for no particular reason enjoyed spending time with my family he was always thoughtful kind and caring I always told him that cheating was a dealbreaker for me but now I'm conf flicted how do I even begin to heal from this I'm angry because he shattered my trust and our relationship will never be the same now he has begged for my forgiveness on his hands and knees several times and has given me a lot of verbal affirmations that he loves me and the whole I messed up speech even sharing his remorse with his mom who supported me and told me that I have every right to leave him he's willing to follow any terms or conditions if I decide to stay admitting his mistake and regretting hurting me so is a relationship salvageable after infidelity how do I recover from this I mean should I just move on I hate the thought of starting over but staying feels equally daunting I mean once a cheater always a cheater right I can't say that I'm grateful this came out before we got married but maybe if we weren't living together I'd leave him completely we're currently on speaking terms and cohabitating but I'm still having moments of intense emotions like crying or struggling just to get out of bed he tries to comfort me acknowledging his mistake and Promises to be strong for the both of us and I admit I I considered cheating back hoping that it would ease my pain but I couldn't go through with it I confessed to him and stopped that situation immediately and he understood my reasons completely now I have to admit I do hold a lot of contention towards him at times because I do not understand why cheating was ever an option for him I equally gave him my life and trusted him to the moon and back again I still believe there is no excuse for cheating but given this awful situation I seriously feel so lost because at this point I really don't know what to do yeah there's no way I would ever feel okay about this like ever there's no terms of agreement that I could possibly settle on where I would feel comfortable with my significant other especially after they cheated on me right before we're about to get married like that's insane there's no good excuse for that so to that regard I think you have every right to be upset because your partner literally broke your trust and in my opinion I think you definitely need to think things over because this is not okay am I the jerk for refusing to pay my share in the family vacation expenses all because my mom nearly pulled a bait and switch on me trying to force me to pay for more than I was ready to pay for because right now I am very frustrated and at this point I seriously don't know what to do here's what happened okay so my mom has been planning this vacation overseas when she first told us about this trip last year she said that she would pay for all the expenses once we arrive at the destination she will also be paying for her flights and my sister's flights and that I would just have to pay for my flights she and my sister book for 10 days while I decided to book for a month the reason behind this is that my sister has mobility issues and my mom is nearing her 60s and there are activities that I want to do that they can't do and this is stuff like going hiking and other outdoorsy stuff so I'm going to do all these activities when I'm on my own after the 10 days since I'm planning to stay for a month I'm fully prepared to pay for the rest of my trip knowing that my mom had promised to pay for my expenses for the 10 days that we are all going together now she's asking me to pay for some of the expenses during the 10 days specifically the hotel which is pricey and I now just don't know what to do her argument is that I just got a big promotion a few months ago and that I should be able to afford it the thing is this isn't the only trip that I'm planning this year then she argued that I frequently travel on my own and that I should make sacrifices just once for this family trip and this is just not true because I have always been paying for my share in the past family trips I even willingly paid for some of my sister's expenses as she is a student and is fully dependent on our mom yes I can't afford it but it would mean cutting some costs on the solo leg of my trip or had I known that I'd end up sharing some of the expenses for this family trip I wouldn't have booked for a month so I'm honestly at such a loss and I seriously now don't know what to do before we go any further the original poster actually gave us an update here's what they had to say first of all I want to thank everybody for their comments here I really have learned my lesson to not disclose my finances or my travel plans or anything else related to my spending habits to my mom my mom and I already have a strained relationship due to her blatant favoritism with my sister my sister is well aware of this and she is constantly taking my side but I really can't falter for not affording things because of her situation now for reference I have always paid for my share in past family vacations I even paid for some of my sister's expenses and I had no problems with it because it was my decision to do so with which is why I was really excited when my mom offered to pay for all my expenses on this one but it sucks that it's not actually happening now to those asking she didn't have any sudden financial crisis I think the reason why my mom suddenly wants to go back on her word is because she didn't plan this trip very well for the past months I kept telling her to book Things way in advance just to get the best prices but she just ignored that and now the hotel rates are pricier than what she wanted to pay my mom is well off but it's just that she didn't expect to pay as much due to her poor planning I have been offering to plan the trip a few months ago but she kept saying that it was too early to plan and refuses to talk to me about it and I really can't reserve anything without her approval so that was that anyways it's too late for me to cancel my flight and I'm already out $800 I can rebook it for $75 plus the cost of fair differences and travel solo but if I'm not going my sister won't be going either so with my sister taking my side on this one one my mom has already booked and paid for the hotel choosing a more affordable yet still decent option while she did promise to pay for all my expenses at the destination I'm just going to assume that isn't happening and be prepared to pay for myself namely for food Local transportation any tours or activities basically everything and trust me when I say this this will probably be the last time I join my family for any kind of trip wow it really seemed like your mom was trying to pull like a bait and switch on you where she say she's going to pay for your stuff but then turns around and pretends like oh yeah you're going to help pay for this right you had a really big raise you can afford it it's like what are you talking about that is not what I plan for at all like that really is kind of a scumbag move to make and I really don't blame the original poster for being like yeah I'm never doing this again so good for you for getting this worked out and at least now you know exactly how your mom's going to act because I know if I was in your shoes I would never want to be involved in any kind of trip with them ever again and entitled Karen makes a scene at a doctor's office going AB absolutely ballistic on the front desk worker screaming at them that they're tired of waiting around to see the doctor and I'm honestly still laughing and completely blown away by this Karen's entitlement and I hope I never see her ever again here's what happened okay so I stroll into my ear nose and throat office and I'm greeted by a kind desk worker and I very quickly do my check-in like a normal human being I'm told they are a bit busy today and just to be patient and I think to myself no problem I totally get it well an entitled Karen emerges from one of the the exam rooms like a slug out of a damp cave and barges right up to the desk worker and I think to myself in my head oh God here we go again this entitled Karen begins to berate the desk worker about how long she's been waiting how the desk worker should have called her earlier if the doctor was running behind how she has no time and she has a lot of things to do and that she is very important the desk worker deflects with verbal jiujitsu like a Season Pro and I'm laughing in my head as this entitled Karen is huffing and puffing looking around the room at the people around her trying to gain some kind of sympathy I keep my eyes pointed directly at my phone listening and just laughing in my head the Karen Huffs and puffs some more muttering about service under her breath and eventually she sulks in the corner like a pile of wet laundry a few minutes later the kind desk lady calls my name and the look on this entitled Karen's face was utterly flabbergasted like it was impossible that the polite person who wasn't complaining and moaning was treated better than a whiny sweaty Karen like her I smiled on my way in and on my way out the desk lady and I had to laugh about all the crazy people she deals with on a daily basis and honestly all I've got to say is that we need to protect these kind desk ladies at all cost yeah I know exactly what the desk ladies gone through as well as the original poster it is not only awful to be on the receiving end of somebody's like I rate anger but it's also incredibly awkward and the secondhand embarrassment is through the roof when a Karen or anybody else makes a scene over having to wait for something that they need to get done like like in my opinion if you're going to a doctor's office of some kind you not only need to be there on time but you also just have to expect to be there for 2 hours I know no one likes to wait in line and we don't like to wait for stuff but these doctors are really busy and most of the time it's not even their fault that they're behind it's the people ahead of you who are probably taking forever so good for you for getting a good laugh about it and honestly I agree with you 100% we need to protect these kind desk ladies at all cost because truly at doctor's offices they're the people that keep things running my managers and co-workers are constantly nitpicking my performance giving me unnecessary passive aggressive comments that literally are just making me angry and at this point I'm so frustrated that I now don't know what to do here's what happened so I want to start off by saying that it's just the little things that co-workers are manager say that honestly grind my gears like why are you asking me if I saw my table get sad when I'm already making their drinks like seriously stop I understand that they may be trying to help but it comes off as condescending and as if they think I'm not capable of watching my section plus if they have time to sit around and watch me why didn't they see that I was greeting that table and getting their drink orders or if the table says they need a few minutes someone will come up to me and be like they haven't gotten their drinks yet and I'm like yeah I know they literally told me they needed a few minutes like just go away and mind your own business if I saw a table sit in someone else's section that's their business now if that server is nowhere to be found and I see that the table is still empty after about 5 to 10 minutes I would ask the table themselves if they've been helped and if they haven't then I would get their drink order and find their server I don't understand all the babysitting or the bartender will be saying oh you got to punch your tickets when I literally still have the drinks in my hands and I'm still putting them on the tray obviously I can't simultaneously punch the ticket while my hands are full I'll load my tray verify that everything is there mostly because they're always forgetting stuff and then I'm going to grab it like I really don't need the passive aggressive comments or here's my favorite one the manager asking me why does your table look like that and they would ask that all because there were three empty plates like what is going on if you had time to watch me then you should have seen that I just left the table with my hands full of their other empty plates sorry I can't carry all of a five Toops dishes with appetizers and extra plates in one trip like seriously why do they sit there and nitpick everything that I do if you're so concerned then go help pre-bus my table and all of this is after they had just spent a day telling me to pre-bus other people's tables yet I don't see anyone pre-bussing mine just complaining when it's not done when they want it done honestly I wish people would watch their own tables and stop trying to babysit me because seriously this is getting very annoying oh man I totally relate with this on a personal level because I can't stand when people nitpick my work unnecessarily like it's one thing if I'm doing something wrong or if they're training me on something new and I haven't quite caught on yet then in that case then sure go ahead and nitpick me I told totally understand but for them to sit there and be like oh yeah you're doing it wrong you need to punch your tickets oh by the way why does your table look like that like if you've had no complaints before about not getting your stuff done then literally they're just being busy bodies going after you for no good reason so truly I completely sympathize with what you're going through because trust me I've been through that several times myself and hopefully with some time they can learn to mind their own business and try to focus on themselves when you subscribe make sure to hit the Bell to turn on notifications to finish listening to all the stories check out the playlist at the top of the description and if you want some chill music to put on in the background check out easy mode.com if you like am I the jerk subscribe to am I the genius everything will be linked Down Below in the description

Channel: Am I the Jerk?

Views: 26,655

Keywords: subreddit, reddit top posts, funny reddit, funny reddit posts, reddit, reddit storytime, r/confession, r/confessions, r/tifu, r/maliciouscompliance, r/prorevenge, r/choosingbeggars, r/IDOWorkherelady, r/Idontworkherelady, r/AmITheA**hole, r/AITA, finance, real estate, podcast, funny, am i the jerk, i am the jerk, im the jerk

Id: PkIlX3QTIgw

Length: 21min 44sec (1304 seconds)

Published: Mon Apr 29 2024