Hi, everyone. In this lesson we're
going to look at manners in England. Here are the things that are considered polite, and
the things that are not considered polite. So this is a talk about the culture, things that people do
here in England, and the things that traditionally have been the most
acceptable behaviour. Let's start with the things that are very
important. So, I'm sure you already know this one: English people and queuing. "Queuing" is
when you stand in a line when you don't... When you want something. You don't just, like,
run up there to the front or push. You queue in a line. So, we queue up at the bank, for
example, or we queue up when we want to get on a bus and there's some other people already
there. Now, of course, in London because there are so many people and also not everyone is
English so they have their manners from where they came from, you won't always see people
queuing to get on the bus or on the tube, but you do generally still see people queuing
up in a shop when they need to buy something. Next we have: It's very important to bring a
bottle, and that means when you go to somebody's dinner party you take a bottle of wine when
you go to the meal there. If you don't want to bring a bottle of wine, you can bring dessert
or you can bring some flowers or some chocolates, but the general phrase and the general idea
of it is bringing a bottle, as in a bottle of wine. Next we have RSVP. This is a term that comes
from French: "Répondez s'il vous plait", and this is a much more formal invitation
that you get. If you're going to something, a special event like somebody's wedding...
Because weddings are really expensive and they have to be organized so long in advance,
people having the wedding really want to know if you're coming. So when you RSVP to the
invitation it means you're definitely going, you will be there. So once you've RSVP'd,
it's very, very impolite not to go. You must go if you RSVP. Next, I think that in England it's very important
to be on time. We do tend to be punctual people, attend... Attend meetings at the right time,
turn up to our jobs at the right time, or meet friends at the right time, most of us.
Of course, there are those people who are always late for everything, but most people
in general do things on time or even, like me, I always end up being 10 minutes early.
I just can't help that. So I waste a lot of time being too early. Now let's look at table manners. Some of the
things in the table manners' section are changing as people become more relaxed about eating
and eating out. But these were all... These are all manners that people follow in more
formal situations. Perhaps at home or with your very close friends it would be different.
Now, I don't mean it's different for this first one. I'm not saying it's ever acceptable
anywhere to slurp, burp-I can't do a burp noise. Anyway, you know what a burp is-and
fart. Fart is noise from the other end. These things are never acceptable at the dinner
table. Mm-mm, mm-mm. So, no eating noises or doing that when you eat.
It's not acceptable. Elbows on the table, in a formal situation
you're not going to do that, but relaxed with friends a lot of people do put their elbows
on the table these days, not such a big deal. Drinking before... Just drinking your drink
before somebody said: "Cheers" is considered impolite, but it's also a sign of being familiar
with people. If you're familiar with them you don't have to go: "Oh, cheers for this
drink and opportunity to drink with you." So it depends who it is. Using a mobile in the restaurant or when you're
eating socially with people is considered rude, so to be like: "Oh, hold on. Let me just take this call. I'm so
important, I've got to, you know, talk business", or something is considered
rude, or to be like all the time texting on your phone. Of course it happens,
and young people and teenagers are definitely going to do it more than older people, but
on the whole it's considered impolite. Eating with hands, that's something that's
changing, as I suppose we all get more used to a fast food culture and different kinds
of foods that are just easier to eat with your hands, like burgers, chips, chicken wings,
and some Mexican food - easier... It's easier to eat with hands, so... It depends what you're
eating, but traditionally it would be considered rude to eat anything other than
a sandwich with your hands. Okay, let's talk about what's impolite now,
what's opposite. No, it's not the... These are more things that are impolite, but different
situations. Let's imagine the situation of being on a train. It's impolite to talk really
loudly on the train, and just have your really loud conversation on the phone that everybody
can hear for hours, the whole time you're on the train. It's impolite and it's really
annoying. Also, if you haven't noticed, trains in England, if they... Particularly ones that
go long distance, they have a silent carriage, and that means a part of the train where:
"Don't talk here. Do not talk here." Nobody wants to hear you talking. So there's always
that refuge, that place you can go on the train if you don't want to hear people, but
it's only one small space, and the rest of the train is really big. It's also impolite to push in. "Oh, I've got to
get on this train now", so: "Poo, poo, poo". That happens all the
time in London. It's impolite to eat smelly food on the train.
Now, a sandwich is okay, you get hungry. A packed lunch that you've brought from home,
maybe you've got some cold pasta left over or whatever you made at home. It's fine. But
if it stinks, it's not fine. You know foods that stink? It's usually fast food, like McDonald's
or from a fried chicken place or something. Impolite to eat this on the train and impolite
to even take it on the train because it smells so strong. But anyway,
people do it. Impolite to sit there in your chair or all
nice and comfy when the poor, old, old person is like, with their walking stick, and you
know, they're going to fall over when the train slows down. It's impolite to leave them
standing while you sit down. The same applies to pregnant women and to disabled people.
So, if you haven't noticed on the tubes... I don't know if they're on the trains, but
on the tubes there are special seats. So if you sit in those you must get up for the elderly
people or the disabled people, but if you really don't want to give up your seat to
anyone, don't sit in one of those chairs. You can sit more in the middle on the tube, and
you're very... In a very unlikely situation anyone would expect
you to get up. Next we've got holding the door open. This
isn't... This isn't something that happens on the train. This is when you're coming out
of a building, the door is heavy, and as you come out you hold the door open and you just
wait one and a half seconds so that person behind you comes. You hold it until they come,
and they take over. You don't have to... You don't have to, like, look at them a long time,
or it's not a big deal. You just hold the door open, and then you carry on. You
hold the door open for them. Not like: "Oh, I'm so busy I can't wait one and a half seconds",
"Boom" in the next person's face. That's impolite. Next we've got not apologizing when you bump
into someone. This is when you walk down the street and you didn't mean to, but someone,
you know, like walks into you. That's bumping in or more pushing. If you don't say anything,
like: "Oom", then that's rude. You're meant to say: "Oh, sorry. Sorry about that", and
carry on. It happens sometimes in a busy city, so you're going to bump into someone, but
the point is whether you are polite after you say something. Next, it's not polite when you have a friend
with you, and you meet somebody else you know and you talk to them, but you ignore that
other person there, like leaving them to just wait while you have a long conversation without
introducing them. What's polite is to say: "Oh, Julie, this is Sarah. Sarah, this is Julie",
and then you can carry on the conversation. Next, let's talk about things to do with the
body. These are the kind of things that are more likely to make people disgusted actually and
feel sick, and like: "Ahh, that's so gross." Starting with spitting. Spitting on the floor,
spitting in public. I've even seen spitting inside one or two times, which is pretty gross
and disgusting, and pretty shocking when I've seen it, but yeah, you see things like that
around London, spitting on the floor. But it's very, very bad manners and it's also a
health hazard. Not... It's not cool, makes people sick. Next is body odour. Now,
I'm not talking like... There's different degrees
of body odour. Right? Some people are just really, really stinky
and they don't mind. That kind of stinkiness is considered impolite, and especially if
you're kind of stinky and you're on the tube and you've got your arm out like that, and you
know, someone else is standing there having to smell your stinkiness. It's
not very nice. It's impolite. Next we've got shoes. So, it's kind of the
opposite here in England about shoes. If I know you really well and you're a good friend,
you can come in my house, take your shoes off. If I know you really, really, really well
and you're part of the family, you can be barefoot in the house. Right?
But if I don't really know: "Please keep your shoes on. Please keep your
shoes on. Do not touch my floor with your feet." So it's the opposite to how it is in many countries. So, from the
other people's side they might find us really gross because in English homes, not so much
more now, but traditionally we always had carpets in our houses and it's not like the
carpet's always being washed and cleaned. It's being hoovered, but not actually washed
and cleaned, and we walk around it with shoes on so a lot of people find the idea of the
English floor in their house really gross because in other countries there's a floor
that's easier to clean, you know, with water or a mop, so it'd different here. Anyway,
don't take your shoes off unless somebody offers you or... Well, it's not really an
offer, unless someone invites you to take your shoes off because that's the rule in their
house. Okay? So don't... Don't just do it first. And by the way when I... A little story here.
It was one of those hard-to-handle cultural experiences when I was living in Turkey and a
workman came to fix a window or something, and I didn't know how to say in Turkish: "Keep
your shoes on." I wish I did, because he took his shoes off and... In Turkey they're meant to
give you slippers if you're not... If you're just visiting they give you slippers to walk
in the house. I'm glad I didn't give this guy slippers either. His feet was the most
stinking feet, oh, it just smelt so bad. And he fixed the window for about one and a half
minutes, and I was cleaning the floor for about two hours to get this stinky foot smell
out after. So, if I did give him slippers they'd have to go in the rubbish bin. So, if
it hadn't been their rules there, had been the English rules, he'd have kept his shoes
on, I wouldn't have smelt his stinky feet. It would have been much better the English
way, but anyway, I didn't know the language to say that. Next let's talk about baby changing. Baby
changing... Baby changing is for in the baby changing room in, or where the toilet is,
there's normally a place to do that. And baby changing doesn't happen around places where
you eat food. Again, I'm reminded of Turkey here because I did see a nappy, a baby's shitty,
poohy... Poohy nappy being changed on a restaurant table which I thought was really gross, and I
never knew it happened before I went there. But anyway, I haven't seen it here in England,
but in the restaurant table, but point being there are special places
to change the baby here. The next one is an issue that people... People
have strong views about and people disagree, which is breastfeeding in public, feeding
your baby milk in public. Some people don't like to see that and they consider it to be
something that the woman should do with a scarf over the baby, or they think you should
do it in a quiet place, and other... Other people say it's natural you should be able
to do it wherever you want. And people argue about this. Depending on where you are, you'll
either see it a lot or you won't see it at all. Yeah, so in London in certain... In certain areas
where there's... Let's say a very middle-class kind of area where there's lots of middle-class
moms and their babies, breastfeeding you will see, but in just the general local area you
wouldn't necessarily see a baby being breastfed in public. Next one is noisy sex. Obviously noisy
sex happens, but there's degrees of it. I've lived in shared houses with young people, so
I've definitely heard sex, but it was absolutely not in the same league of how loud it was
to what I heard when I was in Peru staying near the Amazon... In... Somewhere in the
Amazon Jungle in a hotel, and then I heard the noisiest sex I've ever heard in my life,
so it's degrees of how loud it is, I suppose. In general, it being England, it's not, even
when it's loud maybe it's not so loud as some other places. Next, in the toilet, when you do your business
in the toilet, especially if it's a poohy business, try and flush that away. If you
do a poohy business in somebody's house but I think anywhere, and it gets all brown in
the toilet, there's the brush next to the toilet which is to clear away the poohy stuff
in the toilet. That's why it's there. Some people, I don't think they realize
that, what's... What the brush is for. And yeah, so you might also be puzzled when
you go to the toilet: "Where is the water? Where is the water here? There's no water for
cleaning myself?" There isn't in the English toilet. I don't want to get into it, really,
other than that. But if you're surprised about where the water is, let's just say it's not
there. Maybe you bring your own is a solution, but don't leave a mess after. Next is stinky perfume. Now, on the one hand
we've got stinky people who don't make any effort to smell good, they... They enjoy it,
I suppose. And then on the other hand you've got people who think they smell nice by putting
on loads of perfume, but they put on so much perfume they actually smell stinky so that
when they walk you can smell them like two minutes behind. That is... That's what stinky
perfume is. And I guess here, because it's such a strong smell, that's why people don't
like it and don't find it that polite. Next let's look at social etiquette. When
you're meeting a friend, generally because the arrangements, depending on the person, are
made a few days in advance here in England... We're not so spontaneous and easygoing, most
people, so they plan before. And if you make that cancellation right at the last minute,
many times, unless it's a real problem that you had, people will always think: "Fair
enough, you had a big problem, it's okay", but if you didn't have a big problem and you cancel
right at the last minute the person will think that's really rude that you did that. And if
you cancel one or two times in a row with that person, they might be angry with you and
they might not want to make another arrangement with you because they're just
saying: "Uh, unreliable." Next we have showing up unannounced. This
is a... I've shortened "unannounced", here. That means just coming to somebody's house,
ringing the doorbell anytime but they didn't know you were coming. Here, I would say it
doesn't happen that much, only with friends who have known each other a really long time
and... Like, people I know who do that to my mom, for example, her neighbour friends
that she's known for years and they don't show up and then like sit there for three
hours. Maybe there was something they wanted to say for five minutes or a short time.
It's not like: "Hey. Here I am. Now let's
hang out for hours." Generally that doesn't happen a lot, but
it might happen if you're a student or a young person. If you think it happens,
let me know in the comments. But I would say traditionally and for older people
it just doesn't happen much. Next is name dropping. Name dropping is when
you're always saying about all the famous people you know, and... Well, sometimes it
isn't even about the famous people you know, it's about when you saw the famous person or
you worked somewhere where you helped the famous person, but that's like the low level of
name dropping. The high level of name dropping is always about: "Oh, my friends are so important,
and I'm always with these special people", and they... They get a bit boring because
they're always talking about these special people they know. Next is something that I have done a few times
in my life-well, more than a few-it's called French leave. Right? This, I don't believe
is the English term for it. This is how I've known people in other countries talk about
it to me. Right? I don't believe we have an English word for it, but this means when you've
been hanging out with some people or you've been at a party and instead of saying: "Oh, bye,
I'm going now", you just leave. You don't... You don't say you're going, you just decide
to go. Now, why does such a thing happen? In my opinion you've been at a party, the
host is there, but there's so many people there you don't really need to go and say
good bye to the host because they're still going to have this party for hours. If you
go and say good bye, then other people might try to make you stay and things like that: "Nah,
leave it. I'll just... I'll just go. It's fine." That's why I personally do it. It would
be really... Doing a French, you know, not saying good bye when it's just you
hanging out with one other person, I think that's quite a different situation. I've never
done that before. I mean in a situation where there's a lot of people there.
Okay. Next one is talking over somebody. Some people
have a thing about this that if you're talking and somebody interrupts and starts speaking
at the same time, some people think: "Oh, that's so, so terrible.
Oh no. They've spoken", and what some people
do when that happens is they just stop talking. So you spoke over me, I cannot
speak anymore. But it's not very effective because if somebody talks over you,
they don't care and they're not going to stop, you will just be listening. So my... My thoughts
on this: Okay, yeah, it's impolite. But sometimes you never, ever get a chance to speak if you
don't talk over someone because other people don't stop. So depending on the people, how
much they talk, sometimes you need to talk over people. Or sometimes if you've got an
idea that you really need to say, then you can talk over it.
That's what I think. Next is unruly kids. This is when the parents
just, like, ignore the kids and the kids are all like: "Yay!" jumping on things, and running
around, and shouting, but in a place that's not the playground or the park. They're doing
it in another public place, like a café or a restaurant, or a train or a bus. If your
kids are unruly like that then it gets annoying to other people, really,
really annoying. When I was on the bus yesterday actually there
was some unruly... Well, they... I suppose they weren't unruly. It was just a bit odd
because the mom was talking to her kids really loudly in such an extra way, saying:
"Okay, let's play I Spy now", and: "I spy... I spy 't', oh, it's tree." But this
went on for about 35 minutes on the bus, like: "I don't care. I don't care about how much of a
good parent you are. I don't care about how good your parenting skills are." So those kids
weren't really unruly. It was just more the... You couldn't... You couldn't forget that there
was some kids on the bus because it was being made into, like, a
big, big fun bus trip. Next there's littering. Littering is when
you get your garbage and you just go: "Oh, I don't care", and you walk off and you
leave it there. It's not nice to be a litterbug, leaving your rubbish around. And especially
never, ever in any kind of natural area like a park or a beach... However, it's a very
different situation in Dubai because I used to live near the beach there and walk on the
beach every day, and there the local... The locals would come... Come to the beach with their
McDonald's or whatever, eat the McDonald's on the beach, and just leave it,
just leave it there on the beach. "Oh, we're finished eating. Let's go now. Someone will
clear it up after me." Well, someone obviously did always pick it up after them, but if you try
and do that here, that's like a... That's a sin against nature,
it's terrible. Okay, and last one is playing music loudly
from your speaker, so that would be sharing your music with everyone who doesn't necessarily
want to listen to what your music is. So you didn't ask everyone: "Oh, hey. Do you want to listen
to my Dubstep or whatever, my Drum and Bass?" You just start... You just start playing it loud,
like: "This music is... This is cool, this is cool", but everyone else is like:
"I can't stand your music." It doesn't have to be Dubset. It could be, like,
pop music or even pop music that's so loud from your headphones that other people can hear.
That's pretty annoying, and that gets boring after 20 minutes on the bus, having
to listen to it or whatever. So yeah, here are the things that are considered
polite, impolite, and bear these in mind next time you come to England, London or the
UK. Now you can take the quiz on this lesson. I'll see you again soon. Bye.
