[MUSIC] >> All right. Here we go, Michelle. There's coupons because you're gonna
need these probably, it's been a while. And you push the basket because
nobody's gonna push it for you. >> [APPLAUSE]
>> CVS of course. >> [LAUGH]
>> CVS stands for cotton, vaseline and stuff. >> No it doesn't.
>> [LAUGH] >> And- >> That's not true. >> It does. Do you want anything from the-
>> What are these? >> That's a personalized fan. >> This is a fan? >> It seems like it is. Let's open it and see. >> [LAUGH]
>> This is new. Wait, don't! Ellen, don't open these up in the store. >> Why not? What if I don't like it? Well then let's put it back. No, don't do that. >> Do you need coins? Because there's a Coinstar over there. Ok? See this is so good, I'm preparing you. Let's take a few. >> There. >> Ok, put them-
>> Wait! What if it's- Ok,
what are we gonna do about this money? This is, we got $21. >> The first lady is now up to $22. $24.25. >> How do you know when it's done? Wait don't touch anything yet until this. $45.17. This isn't cash. >> This isn't cash. This is a rip off. >> [LAUGH]
>> What are we supposed to do? See, I told you.
You shouldn't have put all those coins in there. >> Yeah, yeah, you're right. >> We should have started with like this. >> You're right. Is this the cash voucher? >> No, no, I know what that is. This is a debit thing. >> Do you have a debit card?
>> Ma'am, can you help us? >> Hi, I'm Michelle. >> This is Michelle. >> I'm Sapay.
>> Nice to meet you. >> What did people, they called you
Michelle before the First Lady? >> Yes. >> Okay, Shelley. We're gonna call her Shelley. >> [LAUGH]
>> Shelley. You slide it in, and
then you put your PIN number in. >> [LAUGH]
>> Turn around. >> PIN number nine, five-
>> Stop it! >> [LAUGH]
>> Yeah, it was just hard to cover- >> Okay, checking? >> Michelle? >> [LAUGH] >> [MUSIC] >> Wait.
Bernie Sanders. No. >> [LAUGH]
>> It's not. No. That didn't look like
Bernie Sanders to me. >> Not at all. >> No.
You can't get in here. This is locked. >> What's so special about this stuff? We might break it. >> How do you-
>> I didn't realize they got some. Let's see. It doesn't make a noise. Hello? Hello? We need help on aisle 2. >> [LAUGH]
>> Customer service on aisle two. Hi! >> Hi.
>> Good, hi! How are you? It's nice to see you. >> Hi, it's Shelly. Hi, it's Ellen. >> There you go.
>> You know what? Sasha needed some earphones. I'm gonna get some for her. How much are these? I'm just picking up stuff. What are you doing? >> I'm just scratching your back. >> I'm trying to focus. >> Okay. >> [LAUGH]
>> Okay, I'm not really itchy. I am looking for headphones though. What do you think? Do you think, could you chill out on
the itching and help me with this here? >> [LAUGH]
>> Don't scratch him. >> You know this is,
this is not how you behave in a CVS. Stop scratching him. >> [LAUGH]
>> Stop it. >> He likes it.
>> [LAUGH] It's good. >> Did that feel good? >> Yeah, it sure did. >> It was annoying to me. >> We are gonna get it cheaper. [MUSIC] >> Okay. >> All right, here we go. >> Now, do you entertain trick or
treaters at your house? >> No.
I turn all the lights out and I-
>> Man. >> I-
>> You should- >> Close all drapes. [MUSIC] >> All right, magazines. Let's see, who's on it? Are you on the cover of anything? >> Let's see if they have Essence here, okay? >> Here I am. >> There you are, with Rachel. What are you doing with Rachel? >> Do you have a magazine
I could be on with you? >> I thought you were my best friend,
no I have a television show. >> Here I am here we go. >> Do you want any of this? >> Wine in a box. >> Yep, wine in a box. >> How does this work? >> You just
>> How do you get it out of here? >> Like that. >> Wait really, where is the tab? >> Back here. >> We're not going to open it man. We need cups. [LAUGH]
>> Get this one. >> No. [LAUGH] That's not a cup,
that's not an official cup to use. >> I think it is a cup. >> All right, six weeks after, you can
drink this for six weeks after opening? You are really not a good
person to shop with. >> [LAUGH] I'm a great
person to shop with. >> Does anybody know how
to open wine in a box? >> How do you open wine in a box? >> Have you ever had wine in a box? >> You with the baby, come over here. You need wine more than anybody,
you have a brand-new baby. >> So put the cup under so
it doesn't start to pour on the ground. >> That's a good-
>> And then you just turn it. >> Turn it. >> All right.
>> Yep, there you go. >> Okay, here you go. Who wants wine? Anybody, anybody, all right. >> [LAUGH]
>> That's good, that's good. What's your name? >> My name is Jacquelyn. >> Jacquelyn. >> Yeah. >> Sign this. >> All right, Jacquelyn. >> Shelly and
I just signed the box of wine for you. >> You're so nice. >> Ellen, look at this baby. >> Let's sign the baby. >> [LAUGH]
>> Just sign the baby. >> You want us to sign the baby? >> [LAUGH]
>> Aw. >> Avery is beautiful. >> [LAUGH]. >> [LAUGH] She's out of control. >> Don't you want me to sign the-
>> You were about to head for the forehead. >> And then I go down, like that. >> [LAUGH]
>> My, thank you. Not, not no, don't do that. >> Go to sleep. Go to sleep. >> You should go now. She's up, you woke her up. >> Go to sleep little baby. Go to sleep. >> [LAUGH]
>> You're scaring her. >> No. >> Thank you.
>> Thank you. >> You open it, you-
>> Michelle what kind of cream do you need for that rash that you
were telling me about? >> [LAUGH]
>> [LAUGH] The rash? >> [LAUGH] We need a rash for a rash that Shelley has. Where is the rash? What area were you telling me about? >> My shoulder. >> Lower than that. >> [LAUGH]
>> A book. >> Get this.
Lindsey Sands, Lady Pirate. >> Wow, look at this. >> Let's read some. >> The water was flat as a looking
glass capturing the moonlight and stars that twinkled down from above and reflecting just enough light that
the ship gliding ahead- I don't know. >> Alright, we're gonna head
to self checkout over here. >> Alright.
Well wait. Do you know what you're doing? >> No but I guess you scan it. >> Do you have your extra care card? >> Where are you? >> Do you have an extra care card? >> Jose? Jose. >> Alright, we're checking out now. >> Jose, can you see? >> Yes, I can see. >> Jose, can you see if you can help us? We don't know what we're doing. >> I've never done self checkouts. >> Can you just give it to us? We are both very busy with... >> No, we're going to pay! We're going to pay. No!
No, we can't take bribes, I work for the government. >> It's not bribes,
it was just a question. >> And you could just set it here. >> I'm good at this, this is good. >> I'm good at bagging! >> Alright!
>> Please place your item in the bag. Please do not place your
item in bagging area. >> I think you're too close to the bagging area. >> Okay. >> How do we know that we got? Okay, we got Macy's card in,
but I don't see the stub. [SOUND] Okay, here we go. >> There you go. >> I don't wanna be too close. >> [LAUGH] Don't be too close. You're messing it up. You have to put the amount in. >> Sure. >> $10. >> $10, okay. >> Zero, zero, zero. >> Enter. >> Yes. >> Good job.
>> Are you bored Ellen? >> I sure am. >> Come on it's fun, this is the process. >> OK.
>> There it goes! >> Alright. >> I'm getting tired, I'm so confused. >> Just hit no! >> Skip bagging? >> What are you doing? >> I don't know, I just... >> We're not done yet! >> I was angry. >> [LAUGH] >> [LAUGH]
>> Sorry. I just got sick of it. >> Finish and play. Okay. Why am I the only, did we pay for that? >> Uh-uh. >> [LAUGH] >> Man! I'm working really hard here, Ellen, and you're just standing around.
I'm really exhausted. Here, take these. >> [LAUGH]
>> Okay, let's put the magazines here. All right, who's paying? I don't have any money. >> Man. >> You have money? >> Yeah. This is a lot of work! >> Can you get my face on money? >> No I can't. >> Why not? >> We don't do that, you would
have to have done something grand! Like Harriet Tubman. >> I make the world happy every day. >> You should have freed some slaves. You know you're really annoying. It's like taking
a three-year-old to the store. >> Not everyone does everything for
you anymore. >> Well obviously not! I mean this was hard! Here just take this stuff. >> Thank you all. I'm gonna be back, 2017. I'm coming alone without Ellen. >> No, I'm gonna come back with you. >> [LAUGH]
>> This was so much fun. >> I'm not taking you anywhere, you're. >> [APPLAUSE]
I think its about his age. Still strange, theyre fucking boomers all together.
Ellen is so annoying.
How much of this is acting? Y'all think Ellen was legit annoying Michelle?
I thought the joke was funny... its literally just a joke
It's a comedy bit if you are taking this seriously in anyway than the problem is with you not the bit.
Can you believe Trump went on Dr Oz's show? I can't believe he let him use him like that.
Ellen is 58, she needs to chill before she pops a vertebrae.
So we should add Ellen to the list of Clinton sellouts? Sorry Dory but I guess at some point we all have to grow up and realize our role models are just assholes.
Michelle says she can't take bribes because she works for the government. What exactly is her job? And how bout Hillary taking bribes? I guess it's ok if you funnel it through the Clinton Foundation. That makes it "not a bribe".