EFAP Movies #23: Mortal Kombat 1995 + 2021 with Chase, Moriarty, JonCJG and LitDev

hello hello oh my goodness gracious mortal kombat intentions i don't know how better to start this than being like oh so you know what's what's everybody what's what's everybody's experience with you know mortal kombat we go left to right chase explain to us your deep history with mortal kombat i know that the balities were a thing on the super nintendo all right bring it what is your history with moral combat i remember playing mortal kombat when i was a kid and then i kind of like i think it was like alliance or deception and then i kind of forgot about it and then uh when the reboot came out that game looked really cool but australia had a ban on any game that was rated like ah yeah so i couldn't play it uh for like five years um until they eventually started releasing him yeah mortal kombat's pretty cool i like it all right that's [ __ ] what do you know about world combat i'm so glad you asked because i was born in 83 so i was old enough to know mortal kombat and be cognizant of it really mortal kombat yeah i'm an old [ __ ] so um at the time that this movie came out in 95 i was actually 11. so there was no chance in [ __ ] hell that my parents were gonna let me see this movie so as of today i haven't actually seen it but back in the day mortal kombat was that game that broke the mold they had the two game ratings they had ga for general audiences and ma13 that's all the esrb had but mortal kombat was the first to bust out the third rating the ma17 rating it was like a big ol violent phenomenon among like you know school kids and everything people would shout more at all combat in the playground all that [ __ ] and losing share yeah exactly and then and share fake fatality codes on the bus and all that [ __ ] so mortal kombat was quite the cultural phenomenon at the time but i had never seen this movie as a result of my parents being kind of like you know parents and so um i never saw the movie and when i became of age i never really bothered to see it after so it's gonna be a fresh experience for me we're gonna find out whether or not this movie was good if it is a bad good movie if it is a good movie or if it was only popular because the soundtrack was good was it bad good good bad bad bad good good like well exactly which is it we'll find out we have to know john what's your experience on e-fat movies my i played mortal kombat on the sega cd in 1993 and i loved it holy [ __ ] uh one of the goriest things i'd ever seen at the time i was about must've been five or six years old loved it um i had the movie on vhs it's one of those tapes that i watched over and over again until the tape wore out so i'm very familiar with this movie it is garbage but it is very entertaining uh literature devil what what have you got what's mortal kombat to you mortal kombat was introduced to me is the game that i'm not allowed to play because i was too young to play when it came out uh but it was also the game that my older cousin would allow us to watch him play on his uh the game gear was with me and quake yeah quake was another one uh but [ __ ] love mortal kombat was great it was fantastic a lot of fun it was very gory and everything was brutal like everyone those games you don't really see you didn't really see a game like that that often it was always uh more sanitized mortal kombat was not sanitized i remember having a lot of fun coming up with different things that they could do like different fatalities it was a contest you can come up with a more gory fatality a lot of fun serial killer yeah yeah exactly exactly like a very brief addendum to my initial like meme response yeah that is absolutely true i remember when i was a kid like that was definitely sort of the stigma that it had was like this is the [ __ ] glorious game ever it's going to literally make your child worship satan so it had that shock by it was kind of like if you remember back when dead space came out it's like your mom's going to hate dead space who's kind of going for the same sort of martial dead space two marketing commercials yeah won the wave of games where they uh marketed to upset your parents so they'll be cooler to kids especially especially little boys who want to rebel against their parents yeah and come on uh motor combat is not a mature game that's a game made for like young boys to like because it's just immature gore snyder cat like that some of the characters they added in later like bull right show oh it's just buracho which is just drunk guy in spanish good stuff i love it because they're they're self-aware it's it's a really funny game because they know what they're doing they know what they're doing this is over-the-top gourd nonsense violence it's uh it's good stuff highly recommend me it was i think i mentioned this on youth before but when i first got um my gamecube i was like oh that's great i did bible games now and uh my parents were very much anti me seeing things that were highly age rated if it involved nudity violence is fine i i watched hannibal eat people and my dad was like yeah you're right and you know like yeah but buffalo bill was like oh careful he's wearing he's wearing women's skin you might see a boob true not you shouldn't show this violent media to your kids my mom would always say if you have a decent grasp on reality and fiction and the distinction between them that i'm not worried and i was like i love you mom oh yeah but the thing is this extended hilariously to video games to the point where my parents didn't take video games seriously at all they were like it's a bunch of pixels nonsense what do you mean it's an 18 that's stupid he can have that like what's it gonna do it's colors it's not real for me i still remember the shop i was super young and i went into like a little bargain bin thing i was like it was two for like ten pound i think or five i can't remember anymore you know with inflation it's hard to remember these things and the two i picked were the two scariest goriest looking ones from the covers which was the resident evil remake and mortal kombat i was like they knew what they were doing they're marketing towards little boys literally yes i was like i will spend my my dollar on this because of the blood on the cover thank you it's not a mature game okay it's not made for mature people the only time that like a violent video game ever got under my skin as a kid was when i played resident evil 2 on playstation 1 and like a blockbuster demo back in the day and you know how you [ __ ] save robert kendo like you meet robert robert kendo in his gun shop and then when you leave or grab the bullets zombies just jump in and [ __ ] devour him i saw that and i [ __ ] ran out of the store crying my parents were rushing into the [ __ ] car like i was bleeding out they were just like he's freaking out we gotta get him home and uh i had something similar to that if you remember the the arya remake one of the first things you'll end up seeing is when you look down the hallway and there's a zombie that's eating somebody and it turns and looks at you yeah yeah i remember being like nah i'm gonna play more combat now it was so watery looking and dripping from his chin it was like too real and he was still alive like yeah the zombie was eating him it's like that's [ __ ] up i had a memory of it being so high detailed graphically that when i saw it again when i was much older i was like well it was like a bunch of boxes taped together yeah uh and so i play more combat then i played all of the i don't know how it's split in generations but yeah i basically skipped all of the um the older gen and i was on to like uh deadly alliance deception shaolin monks armageddon and then followed it onto mk9 i think because that carries directly after armageddon so played a whole bunch i wasn't super into fighting games like at all but more combat i really just found fun and despite how like shitty the stories always mostly were and how they use time travel to reset constantly and how everybody's powers don't really fit in they just have powers like it's usually as stupid as like this one is the one with the big face and you could eat people and it's like it was just really really fun that was like the the whole appeal and then fatalities on friends and doing co-op and different adventures so i was like yeah it's fun never watched the original movie knew it existed but i just never did this should be fun for me it's a lot of fun yes and i've seen bits and bobs for this new one so i was like this should be a fun adventure for us all to jump right into all right moriarty what have you got well when i was younger we would go to this pizza place you know you go and you eat pizza going out and seeing people and um i'd go and we'd take my friends you know and be like hey let's i'll go to the pizza place and in the corner they had an arcade machine to try and siphon every single dollar out of every person that came in and it was mortal kombat so i'd always play with my friends we'd go over and throw in as many quarters as we could and and just play so i've seen the movie because i wanted to see it after playing that and uh i love it i think the first movie is terrible but it might be one of the better uh video game adaptation movies like in the top couple you know yeah i agree with that i never heard bad things about this movie over time so it was like kind of interesting because whenever there's an extremely bad movie you'll at least hear it meme to death even now but i haven't got that so interesting i think the cgi is probably terrible i remember probably really really bad 95 cgi baby i remember reading at one point that this was the most expensive cgi movie of all time when it came out no kidding and game had so i think back in the day if the public made any acknowledgment of like video game culture or anime it was like [ __ ] mind-blowing i remember in 2001 when daft punk made their uh interstellar 5555 music video and the entire thing was just a big anime music video and i was just like anime is playing on mtv that's insane so is this anything that like acknowledged this sort of niche subcultural hobby was just like dude that's [ __ ] that's epic that's so cool you didn't even care if it was shitty you're just like we're getting noticed wow people are noticing our video games i think there was about my dad that did like the main menu song or some [ __ ] for a while combat deadly alliance and like in the extras you could unlock the music video and i was just like this is so weird you know we were just talking about expenditures in terms of how this movie was made i just looked it up they only had a budget of 18 million at the time which just seems like pennies on the dollar compared to what we spend nowadays on movies but it made 122 million so and everyone thought that covid would crash that whole approach but i'm pretty sure it's only just delayed by a year and a half or so and we're just going to get right back to it kind of stuff flooding back out again wait for it guys the first one billion dollar movie oh my jesus seven hours the best part about the old motor combat movie that i remember now is that uh no woke political lectures so that's why it's a lot of fun yeah yeah but in the 90s they didn't really do that it was all about rebellion and junk food and yeah it was awesome violence lots and lots of delicious delicious ultra violence that's the best part of it yeah i think the first billion dollar one might just be like marvel's avengers versus kong or something right that's probably gonna get um and finally rags let us know the illustrious history of yourself with mortal kombat so i don't know anything about mortal kombat i have not seen the movies i have not played any of the games i have no interest in fighting games really whatsoever so i have absolutely zero expectations i don't know what those expectations would even be if i had them i'm uh totally walking in as nubilicious as possible i don't know anything about mortal kombat well i mean keep them low it's not walking into a masterpiece here or anything yes it's gonna be great because the fact you have no expectations is gonna make it even more funny because i feel like from what i can gather maybe myself ringing john might have the most familiarity with with sort of what we're expecting to see um in terms of stuff to do with more combat certainly in the new one of course john knows this film already uh but yeah i don't know if you see like a reptile person burping acid on people that's not going to surprise me at all but it might surprise you right reptile person that's very inclusive yeah so we're gonna be watching both movies the 1995 one and the 2021 one back to back i imagine the cgi is probably going to be about the same uh because it's just like i've heard that the 95 was revolutionary so i feel like you know it's like spielberg where you just sort of can't tell it's timeless but yes is everybody on zero on their copy of the 95 version on zero oh wonderful three here we go hang on uh mahler sorry you guys would [ __ ] like death note because it is very enemy so anyway zero zero this the opening theme for terminal velocity okay this is partially famous all right no one is going to get i think this is the platinum song actually song originally from here or the game like this it was here from the movie it wasn't in the game at all this is strictly a movie track that made it to radio stations and everything so this isn't me honestly it's me every kid who uh practice karate did their their performances in this song yeah oh i i believe yes he's evil that's a bad guy if you couldn't say that yeah i'm going to assume this is lou kang here we go this is the best part of the whole movie i promise you it's so good this is lou kang's brother yes this is so bad looking he's gonna say the line it's worth waiting for look at him committing a hate crime i think it's just a regular crime does he have an [ __ ] oh geez these are some of the greatest faces wow it's anime look at it your brother's soul is mine the lion your soul is mine that's really bad isn't he talking to me oh jesus oh my god i have the stream every night in my green room why did i install this yeah very bright green light in my bedroom next to my bicycle so this is what you're doing busters this is an or two the director of this you can identify that by how it's not normal are his walls like massive cement blocks brother dead i think this film's trying to tell us that his brother has died oh oh do you like the minimalistic writing thing oh brother dead oh will you have one [ __ ] is on your shotgun oh my god that's a big spike i'm happy to see you it's a backup shot like it fires the torch so this is immediately funny to me because no context is just like what the [ __ ] is happening why why is all this people aren't enjoying the [ __ ] out of this well we've got an age today boss evil and now sub evil and you can tell from the eye that he's pretty evil you're going to need to see my dog i like how the knife popped up when he wasn't in frame he just heard the sound of the knife and when we got back to him [Music] wow like 17 people died she waited a long time firing into the crowd yeah he hit everyone but her nobody gives a [ __ ] is it a crap from john wick nobody cares that torch is hilarious [Music] you killed me already harder kind of blew my lungs out i can't [ __ ] you shot all those bullets into the crowd and no one cared nope this was filmed in 2021 music's too bad everyone would have been looking cassie cage like mommy please you don't even know her name yet that makes it even more sexy i don't even know who you are los angeles being murdered wait oh what are we doing head nunchucks oh god they're the ninja turtles let's dance this is a movie in a movie because johnny cage is a movie star yeah his whole character supposed to be mocking jean-claude van damme i think can i be honest i [ __ ] love this movie so far like a lot this is where you fall down also we need to buy some cameras there's that guy over there there you go i'm gonna get a gun and i'm gonna shoot him jesus you let somebody on the set you don't know who it is no of course not i i'm the kind of person who doesn't wear a belt with jeans i don't i'm not ready to make important decisions don't talk to me you [ __ ] trash i'm walking away now you're proto soy boys how dare you proto soy boy no linda hamilton hey wait what yeah johnny you're one of the best martial artists in the world thanks for telling me the tournament the thanksgiving held once again that's the big lebowski king of iron fist i was just trying to remember jeff bridges name he's a small lebowski mid lebowski i can't read this you know my favorite part about movies oh my god the bad guy manipulated one of the okay guys damn wow no tip fine gee i hope you have fun with whatever [Laughter] he stands next to them to look really big we only have one rule do not walk on the grass those kids had no [ __ ] idea why they're here yeah it's kind of how uh hollywood gives the main character a fat best friend so the main character looks better it's like that yeah what happened after you left before we talk about what happened how do you get your hair so voluminous didn't you read the message brother did that's what happened yeah that's all we said we took a lot of time to grow your hair you muddle your hair this way you insult me you just have glorious hair though oh no oh they're totally it's been too long without a fight come on sarah does every people look like a penis they're just pointing vaguely at each other like i am upset i have grievous these things speak english exactly exactly i said wipe your hands around like yeah like you're wiping their heads like unraveling rabble rap each other accusingly if someone would try to clutch at things it's like what are you doing i will taste just before anyone else i love this movie if you zoom in on any shot with children they're just looking like do we get to eat snacks yet there's the man of the hour i think the one that if anyone knows anything about we'll come up they'll typically know this guy right wow all gods are white this isn't your god of thunder and lightning he's just a faker sparing my lord raider spare him my white man he doesn't understand oh my god oh my god that might have been impressive if i saw any of it whoa whoa look at that oh no that was awful oh my god sparkles why did you like chandai like i think the original game raiden was a bad guy i'm going to find my brother's killer at the [ __ ] they turned him into a good guy for the movie or without your consent uh oh without consent what's that without consent i was gonna say this is really ahead of its time all of them were like well that's a bit of a faux pas but it's not really that deal don't really [Music] let's find one of the least intimidating people and make them raiden [Music] thunder oh the little sparkles that's cute no you can't do that anymore well not unless you want your social credit score to go down yeah right so like a zero already sorry i couldn't read this can you guys jackson this movie i don't think jackson's in this movie no this isn't jax this is johnny casey wait they don't think he's an actor wait jacks isn't it he's supposed to be an actor no i wait i think jax is but this isn't jax this is something that's a cyborg no no no jax was in that one but it's not in this one okay there is no more combat in violation having a more there is so many money you carry the bags or is that too complicated no i got it racist i got it no wow wow what a [ __ ] go grab it the longer you leave it in there the more weather gets god i'd ask him to park the car no but don't you need that aren't you upset what if your game boy was in there never be able to play mortal kombat on game boy because that was the thing anxiety there you go that's probably that would be jacked by the way what the [ __ ] oh my god is this oh my god wait the sails are all torn how does it move magic yeah not really your job is to cut up sales all right and it's like yeah that doesn't work i just i wonder if this is the turn killers maybe oh my gosh his glowing eye makes it so easy to see oh it looks so awkward man in the dark he looks like folgore that i nobody nobody knows anything about killer instinct all right uh no i know i i played it on game boy at some point sonia run gayer he's already at maximum levels of gay he's already out so how is the yeah i don't understand the propulsion for this ship it like backs up and magic magic the dragon is alive it's like oh all right i guess so so this is the boat that you guys said please hey you i got four bags now where's kano according to mortal kombat rules that'd be a fair fight you could actually use a gun in mortal kombat oh yeah but they don't do much it's kind of like brushing everyone another star struck fan huh that's what makes good writing so far luke kang is my favorite just because his hair is beautiful it's my this looks like a great place for a kung fu fight yeah with the floating chains my favorite was probably sonja's gun i am blue and you you are not blue what color will you choose when i want backup a radio fort what is a strong woman okay well neither of us have one so [ __ ] you yeah oh this really breaks continuity this is not what your oh man thank you white man being big fans of sub zero and scorpion i know he was about damn it won't happen again i promise you that's just good what happened again trying to kill him maybe we need the fat comic relief character to be like i have no idea what's going on here i uh uh can you guys help me out we need a fat comic relief character yeah i wish it was just a dude in the background that would just silently observe do you need me for something okay with magic happening is that fine to them do they not care yeah they came right out of the sega genesis oh my god all right peace look at the background look at the stars in the background it's just a wall they're on a disneyland ride oh god look at this disneyland ride with a smoke machine up guys it was the 90s okay they had oceans in the 90s no no they didn't they didn't venom yet your ego yeah like how does anyone trust him when he's when he speaks it's actually not fog the crew's just smoking cigarettes indoors in the 90s he just has that sociopathic wait is that supposed to be ryden yes yeah it's not about death oh yeah it is but life what one of you three will decide the outcome of the tournament we don't say that we're having that creepy face off yeah as well depend upon you sorry oh excuse me i'm sorry my evil slipped out all right it was so awesome i love this movie so much i'm running all right exactly yes he is sufficiently dead good job you you officially did it well until it until the judge calls it i mean you keep hacking away the corpse like please call it music to watch knowing who all these characters are and race totally blind basically making observations about the only benefit i'm sure they're just like the games oh my god the only benefit really nice shot i like all the character introductions the one for goro is awesome actually very memorable you go out here for production so why did they shoot that last scene on a theater because this spooky boat wasn't so sea right that looks nice wow they all arrive at the same time ish they'll just kind of yeah very fish timed it it'll arrive first you're in your [ __ ] nice outfits you couldn't wait until you get a little closer to the shore get your pants on dude just wait like a second than he had before oh there's old johnny with his luggage i don't know about you but i'm really liking this uh johnny kate this johnny cage bag scheme nice sweater yeah the bags just keep replying as the time [Music] johnny and his lunch more bags that statue looks confused they all look good this is the pirate cave from the phantom the statue is like what yep oh it's skeletor i was a dublin person that's a katana right i don't know this is katana yes i really want like some outdated 90s term like i want johnny case to be like ooh she's amazing she's she's exotic looking she's radical watch her carefully reptile why are his eyebrows oh who ordered the caesar salad this is like a 10 out of 10 so far for me i don't know dude yeah it's awesome when they finished making him and showed him to like the director's director's like oh no we make this it's live in like a week just [ __ ] doing it some of those meetings will people notice he's like no you know what they're all thinking this is a problem we got to do something really you saw that reptile effect right that was so wait was he not allowed in oh it's this guy this guy where's the yellow one he looks oh there he is like skinny wouldn't that be his actual name like his first name is sub his last name is zero it seems like a very cocky name doesn't it yeah my name is zero sub zero you know what [ __ ] you i invested in that that's your joke it's not talking about infidelity okay the californian zeros you know that also wow we're already like set up in 25 minutes for this tournament right yeah we're here the movie's like a third over you will even have the distinct honor and pleasure oh to face prince gordon pleasure hey gorham here for us to go yay name i recognized i'm getting some weinstein vibes from this guy [Music] what are you doing sub-zero are those like oh god are they gonna [ __ ] all those men well they're very oily what's happening are we all oh no very oiled up they're ready to go oh they're kicking the chicks like we were eating time for the casting couch why just move the tables there's gonna be food oh they clean up wow they clean those floors fast okay there's one guy in there that's a hairy chest like everyone else is smooth there's one guy in the hairy chest look at all these beautiful tits what's he doing with his hands i don't know what i'm doing all right just go ahead and freeze him already come on yeah there we go he's throwing a bowl of ice at you look out he's going to say the word turn into an n64 character for this tournament [Music] flawless victory there really aren't any ground rules for mortal kombat you can pretty much do anything this is the thing if you had a commentator yeah you would have been like and he's preparing he's kicking oh well yeah there we go oh yeah that's right that's the other guy has magic ice powers and he's gone didn't really feel like a fair fight but there we are yeah like i feel if i don't have power so i'm just not going to sign up well yeah but johnny cage has weird green map well not in this movie but yes johnny cage johnny cage has a magic nut punch skill yeah oh yeah i do like however that despite the fact that sub-zero and scorpion are asian they're not in this movie for some reason they're just they're certainly born in asia do they get to have characters in this movie or no oh my god those are some jerking off hands right there lame because like scorpion and sub-zero are awesome oh yeah be the main characters in mortal kombat they're the two that everyone likes and if you don't you'll no instead we've got discount laura croft she came out before lara croft lara croft counts on your blade she doesn't know she's shitty this chick here she's discount laura croft wow rags so cruel she's just an [ __ ] she's just an idiot with a big flashlight on her shotgun but she wears a sweater but why does that make her a bad character rex that's just who yeah that's just who she is no people i think i can criticize people wearing sweaters and twitter is her character look she's got a whole back story about the sweater it comes in halfway through oh my goodness gracious oh this doesn't seem safe oh oh all right i'm glad we had that aside oh we're here now that was a transition yeah that was a transition indeed they just they didn't look behind them at all i like that they saw that and they don't really care wait do they know how shadows work he wouldn't be in front [Laughter] [Applause] come in and they just flip his table over yeah it's time for mortal kombat that looks pretty good for the era not bad i think that's where most of the budget went i think there's a puppet right whenever it goes it's a nice looking peak over there they really contrast with the rest of the food the catering was the biggest part of the budget [Music] yeah that's that's half cg half um practical maybe like maybe like the torso in the lower half i don't know well guess we'll see when he's in action i feel like whatever they did practically was always gonna age better because the cgi i'm not gonna lie his face doesn't really dip an uncanny valley that's pretty good i'm starting to think that he's a stack of two people yeah i'm not sure like he's he's actually six midgets exoskeleton it's proper puppeteering and uh work effects for her yeah right come here oh no that was just a slow knockover that was he was like yes in the realm of why does he have so many extravagant entrances perhaps that's just what he is slowly and poetically i'd like to get back to my amassing as soon as possible that cake really stands out it looks like a bunch of melted rice krispies what they said i was like just doesn't really seem that evil though can we like put some black frosting on it it's not an evil looking cake shangston's mom brought the cake in i'm sorry doesn't do evil cakes find another one what's that then money killed them all i know they're sending that guy was the first fight with the ice was that part of the tournament yeah that was the ground i think that was just a demonstration they got on the blue hall or do we go down the oh that's it oh look someone's standing there with the bright tour go get it okay bye oh god look at her face she's so unappealing yeah i know she's such a [ __ ] [ __ ] that's why she wears a mask all the time in the game she seems so angry at everything i guess they didn't follow him no guess not we're gonna know he's looking back behind like those guys didn't follow me with jerks you know it's up to me blue king mortal kombat the story about a man who traverses ten thousand small yet independent sets oh is that your boy reptile look out there he is oh no jesus christ wow who brought the playstation one dragon in one that's very generous of you oh my god that looks terrible that last frame he just kind of slithered away off of nothing he goobed on me stop rubbing you're gonna make it worse oh no the web hallway host alien world what the [ __ ] i smell i really want him to look at her at one point in the movie and say oh why don't you smile more i call that candle whack oh my god hey there we go yeah [ __ ] women are annoying and they nag you you tell them johnny we she's so strong for how skinny she is not even coming close i love how much they all wait to be hit this like yeah oh my god is that because he was gonna look saying something stopped he's like this is gonna try to cut costs by hiring stuntmen instead of actual fighters that was great where did that music come from though that was kind of [ __ ] weird yeah absolutely brilliant well done where did those guys go that you just beat up they exploded like in turtles in time it's a playstation one game so they just evaporated oh they're back yeah they were just standing there yeah yeah yeah see they're very commandable i don't think [Music] of this establishment i think they just listened to long hair i like how johnny cage is just like i'm the wise cracking white guy everything is supposed to mean johnny kid doesn't work that well cause he's not fat he needs to be fat you want to be funny i like him a lot james corden was fat in the three musketeers he was i like how everything has an asian theme except for the statues of greek warriors and the asian god and the asian god exactly and all the white people are the white people from this moment on my island will be your battleground wait the guy looks really bored what about that first fight well that was optional they chose the points with two fingers let mortal kombat begin all right my money's on lukang can i can i confess something no i i really i'm like sexually attracted to loot kang's hair specifically the only part of him it is beautiful whoa that's a wind bend right now this is what i call serious are there no pointy ends to these things are they just like how he's just smiling like yeah you're [ __ ] asian yeah he's so angry he's having so much fun with it i feel like you'd have to be a little angry and mortal kombat yeah oh maybe he's been doing this for so long and just because this is his tenth time right this is 10th mortal kombat you think he'd be kind of mellowed out by now no we'll just like you know maybe the first couple mortal combats he's really angry all the time after [Music] they had feet prints right on his tits just for that one shot wait he did run out of house oh is he oh is he nice hair shot yeah they have like a health paws and he ran out i really wanted to say finish him finish do it do it yourself is mine oh no you're so mine that was lame i'll do it give me your black abs oh [ __ ] oh my god wait a minute when you take his soul it sucks his skeleton out oh it took a skeleton he sucked the photoshop layer out of him your skeleton shall be mine oh no no he sucked two of the three color gradients out of him only blue is left only b was left i will take your rg is mine let's see how she can do who's she fighting yeah yeah she's really intimidating the opposition i don't want anything from you oh my god those buck teeth i'm sorry she's beautiful but that won't be she's beautiful with black teeth i'm sorry she's beautiful but she looks like lola bunny what do you mean butt yeah i mean [ __ ] little bunny before her yeah i mean well yeah but the teeth make sense on little bone bunny not he looks like an actual strong person yeah that's true yeah so you had to grab all over the camera keno has a real white knife yes this little baby brings back memories now doesn't it that's not a knife this is a regular australian knife knife that checks out yeah that's a butter knife in australia exactly i feel like sticking a knife down the back of your pants is just a recipe for a lot of cuts oh my god australians did how are you even half as strong as him i feel like he could just break your arm by touching it yeah see this movie is having a moment of female empowerment i'm wondering how they're going to sexualize her later to compensate which means this little 90-pound girl can just defeat this 200-pound muscle man that's the thing sonia blade's not really magical right she's just trying to be sure you studied all of her moves because you're just sitting there getting the [ __ ] kicked out of you yeah she's hitting him he likes you yeah he's really enjoying this please oh my goodness i'll give you a break okay no sonia don't wait what did you kill him he just pretended to die he said give me a break and he broke foot yeah why is he here what's happening is this because i told him he was going on a walk movie is a thousand independent tinies oh my god get over here why didn't there it is reflective nature i love any old cg has that weird [ __ ] acid washed like metal look how how long can that looks like an episode of reboot still inside i know right why caught around like several trees why didn't they give him a normal thing oh wow that was lucky oh that's how long it is oh that looks so bad why isn't everything like that he said two lines holy [ __ ] he's like same shot oh is it dead he could take off his human mask and breathe fire he pulled the thing died what oh there's the teleport move oh but you took it with him oh my goodness okay wait a minute there we go they're scorpions really like that now this kind of looks like a set i'm still annoyed that they killed kano yeah well that was [ __ ] i don't think they actually did i think yeah there's no way he got killed by that come on i like how they regularly stop to show him just looking around like whoa like in mortal kombat you can imagine him shuffling into you know place while the camera was panning why do you think this is nothing it's just something you just brush off oh no why do you think of scorpion a weird snake thing in his hand why wasn't it just a regular thing i think my retailers would like different dimensions and [ __ ] than they wanted to spice it up a bit but it's so lame so i'm i'm hoping that with this luke cage guy we get some sort of payoff for him being an actor like he pretends to do something in a fight and then he turns out he was just acting no longer the one from marvel jordan luke cage is for marvel that's what this is this is marvel combat right they kind of blend together this is marvel combat and that's good recovery good recovery i don't understand what's happening why are they fighting each other they're just punching each other for a while the camera is johnny cage i think was walking out of bounds and scorpions just looking for a fight i guess out of bounds the game rules apply flame powers oh no you asked for that it's funny that was really obvious that's a really terrible oh geez careful the set i'll take it any of that is stable that all looks like [ __ ] for a second driftwood down here oh really he said it again there you go what was that so what was the point of all that i like how it didn't break under a man's weight spinning three times but one kick did it what was the point of all that oh my god a skull of this skull please the man with the hook hand that's fine what skeletons he doing they keep showing his eyes like yes i'm indeed looking at you i'm very intense what oh my god there we go wow you could have done better with that wait how did he know that would happen oh damn you found a shield that's an awful lot in this movie fire bad oh no oh he's bleeding lava lava blood oh my god what you made me bleed my own lava blood itinerary here for this does everyone get a piece of paper that has all of the locations and times that their fight happens it's like half and half he organizes his little fights on like platforms but then it's like you are you have free reign to walk anywhere you want in the island but if you find each other you have to fight i think those are the rules all right so the rules of this movie that all the main characters are gonna kill each other one by one until like one person stands or they're gonna band together because i'm i'm excited to see what it's gonna go what if it's both i guess that's the idea but how the [ __ ] is johnny cage supposed to get out of the multiverse uh that's a good question i don't know that's the [ __ ] there's probably a there's probably a convenient cut where he'll be back he'll just be back yeah hopefully the bone zone is just elsewhere on the island that looked really gentle thank you there's so much sexual tension this is the gentlest mortal combat ever that's enough oh that's katana okay anything like katana yeah she's supposed to be blue that's the whole thing yeah yeah she can at least be blue melina's pink or purple i guess oh do they have oh because they weren't fighting properly they were just kind of like i [ __ ] you know disqualified from the tournament i'm not in this town okay i guess that wasn't a real fight but the fight because that seemed a lot more organized than the uh flame boy cage fight that we had in the bone zone i feel like that was a little bit more impromptu but i guess that counted is raining gonna fight someone is he in the fight no i don't know he's just like a supervisor oh monk yeah he's that kind of role in this what do you always walk like dude he's like you always watch me hold my invisible buckets don't mind me you you will be decimated by me i would like to remind you guys that the person who made this made the resident evil movies [Music] also like there's an official fight now oh sure yeah yeah let's just roll it around this is like fighting i want i i desperately want to see them play leap frog in the middle of this [ __ ] battle oh got him out of my hair oh you know what arnie should have been in this movie i know that that's the motivation this whole fight better sub [Music] this is the penultimate 90s karate movie just they overused slow-mo like crazy you can see this wobbling when he jumped on it the red ramp it was wwf hey look shang is no he's he's cutting corners all right oh no now he's talking about men on your island here comes that yeah it's a good sign that i want to step away but i can't because i'm really interested to see what's going to happen next that's a good sign give me an h no for all that effort it's like cold it's freezer burn use the element which brings life how would you be able to talk to him we doing fights belly button that brings life it's going to be all slippery water oh yeah oh he was like wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait-wait that's all falling out wow that thing is really big what the [ __ ] how did that work out perfectly oh no ice sub zero zero's one weakness now kick him kick him and break him kick him and break him right now oh you [ __ ] he [ __ ] ruined it worst film ever yeah it's terrible now right here how come scorpio shut it off just [ __ ] shut it off right now jesus at least redeem yourself and flip that [ __ ] table right now this movie is so stupid can you really call it stupid no way do you think he masturbates he alternates his top and his bottom arms yes he uses all four of them damn that's a big [ __ ] oh we montagne like all of the losses are they what are what is happening right now are they like failing to somersault these are all dispatching these guys one by one these are the reviews i think they use the same guy a couple of times though i got cape so are olive is he a species where oh this guy's so [ __ ] dead no it'll be fine yeah oh he comes across as like a creature that eventually begs to be killed because he's just his existence is tough i sort of my spine hurts all the time oh he's got you now i love how because he has to be cg or whatever all of his punches are really slow really slow right yeah i mean how hard would it be just to speed it up speed up these swings i can't tell if this is practical i'm pretty sure it is at this point all of this is impressive yeah i haven't had any confusion on that front he's very rubbery for like a puppet that's i mean yeah the closer you get the more the flaws are revealed but oh no they're gonna pg-13 you to death [ __ ] they had to make him kill the black guy because there's nothing racist finish him oh do it shove him in half [Applause] you need a money shot there where his head kicks in or something like what happens when you don't know how to do a fatality so you just punch him instead on accident exactly i don't know the code is he is he dead what's happening now break him in half do something really epic oh oh he's offering his soul i have no idea what's going on and i [ __ ] love everything yeah one thing's for sure i was never bored yeah exactly yes sonia what the [ __ ] happened to your firearms you know for a second rags she doesn't have fire oh you mean guns yeah you must first face your fears i'm listening to everything you're saying it looks like a skeletor completely like skeletor it's ridiculous you'll fight brazil villain yeah do we have to have the talking bits can we go back to the fire [Music] [Applause] ready for some snow working punches looking for extras in karate scene we'll stand around with abs and yell don't crush them dude come on you you have to put them on i really wish you put them on i like the way i look better now for sunglasses don't you think well johnny cage would have the advantage here because he has that nut punch thing and his gorilla is really tall oh yeah oh my his [ __ ] eyes get more uncanny the more i look at them it's the only part that [ __ ] jars me everything else i'm sorry did he just get taller in that cut oh my oh my god oh my god i thought we were [ __ ] joking you got it oh my goodness do it again don't run away [ __ ] that's just a solid playground strategy kick him in the ball man he's going away he is about this ball i thought it worked too like it really it really got goro stunned do you think he has four balls yes you probably i hope so what's happening maybe why did he wait there for so long what was his plan it really the more you look at him every time he moved he looks like he really does look like a dude on stilts that's just trying not to lose his balance [Laughter] he's trying not to lose balance it'll be fun to compare him to the new one because he's probably gonna be full cgi oh god the composition oh that looks bad it's gonna be so much less fun in the new movie guys he's totally here okay let's see green screen on a jpeg for that also you built your [ __ ] arena tournament thing right next to the edge of a cliff i guess it's pretty cool punch them in the nuts again oh no that's it oh he's he's so cool he's not even phased by anything oh god there's clouds it's weird he's super cool this is where you fall down [Laughter] did he plan this this way i like how johnny's everything johnny looks at he's like okay oh no now this is happening you're a coward sorcerer maybe try that again oh the [Laughter] nice by the way there's no reason for the movie to continue roll the credits imagine they had you fight him in a room what about sonia who cares exactly oh man that reptile is like the shittest thing the worst thing ever why didn't they just make him look like he does in the video again where he's just yeah like a huge but reptile face well you you that's the power of blast processing okay you could even go as far as making him like scoping the sub-zero but green right that portal was actually just a flat image there's so many things they could have done but they did the you know what it is they committed a lot of time to making reptile then they were like we could get rid of him do something else like wow but i spent so much time on that and you're like yeah but all they could do with garo is just have him march around and go well the cgi already showed him off and they're like okay so when are when are you gonna be done with a reptile and like oh but it is done okay i could have sworn that that entire thing was about to fall on the camera do you think the guy who made it oh my god it looks like the pre-rendered cutscenes from odd world ames odyssey oh geez what's happening check out this wall they're gonna fight no they're gonna fight oh oh my god wow it's the best he's ever looked i just don't wait what's happening wait what what the [ __ ] oh his legs were like clipping like they're colliding with each other glitching he just slid in there oh that looks so oh my god oh my god legitimate ps1 graphics so there are statues that you just throw people in and then they eat them what how did you yeah obviously didn't you see it guys now oh my god oh my god it turns out the statue is actually sub-zero no no reptile that's reptiles i recognize the green that's what reptiles smoking here he's better confusing here just for the easter egg very straightforward was wobbling oh all of the statues like people waiting to be activated i guess so it depends if the story needs it dude it's kicking the crap out of him sucks because i said no into a statue with ice so i thought this statue was like him in a different form yeah that's like about the stage which is slightly intuitive i was going to say right that makes slightly more sense i think it's really it's really in bad taste for asian violence is this reptile uh i guess he's both now so educated guys right this is what reptile was supposed to be and then he erupted an animal out of him and luke kang happened to throw him back in there you go yeah [Laughter] [Laughter] yeah that's true oh no what he just threw him what he just grabbed him what are reptiles powers he shoots acid he can go invisible i would so i don't know why he ain't doing it right now i mean it worked once again it's waffle wait how does he spit it he has a mask covering his face yes he's supposed to take the mask off and he's got like a reptile mouth and then he spits in the new ones he's just a reptile man yeah he's just what's right yeah in the old ones he just shot it like a duke and it was dumb [Music] oh there it is bicycle kick bro i know that's how the move works but i still love him coming up to him what oh okay he was just a statue full of bugs to make a movie work in the 90s you need to have creepy crawlies for the young boys what in the world oh is it a [ __ ] [ __ ] axe kick kill the cameraman i'm here to stare at you some more it's the emperor's [ __ ] everyone's here he was the reptile though and if he gets kicked into a statue he he turns into a cool guy and this feels like all of them he's a cool guy but if he gets kicked by the stupidest looking kick in the world he basically is done someone here is a very big mortal kombat bicycle kick idiot yeah i know what it is it just looked like [ __ ] go read the wiki you [ __ ] pleb yeah oh read the wiki so you know the whole scene was scoping that whole scene with reptile that's what i would make to like [ __ ] around with someone's brain i just feel like i'm gonna make this fun of mortal kombat not even just make fun of continuity look at it you can like see the clipping through the bottom yeah you really can that's that's like a full motion oh my god he gave her a sorry what am i doing here let's see this looks like the worst date ever now means ready to go for this gal oh yeah you know this is this first rodeo with this law it's like guys they'll go towards the cgi stale this is or is this like where are they as if that would help you know as if that would help my friends will come for me how would they even know how to get here where even is here maybe another one portal right on the island i just love the idea of the freeze like it's another bragg's right like okay so what about the other 50 contestants back on earth are they lost like it's irrelevant and also that might have been outworld it is our world i said it several times oh no i know how did they how did they what a twist seize these villains listen to anyone how dare you speak to me of treachery oh we're just letting her get taken okay yeah i guess you have the keys too johnny cage hmm i challenge you no you'll fight me no you can't do that you can't do that [Music] yeah what's this yeah what's this i'll allow it [ __ ] you just start taking his clothes off and check so it's like oh i'm i'm not i don't whoa on the floor okay but i i have a skirt for you if you want hang on except yeah you haven't been doing very well you sure you want us to go all right i guess we'll leave you please what's on tv okay he transforms into other fighters here let's see if he does it [Music] oh my god yes oh i love crazy frog dude this is next [ __ ] gem just in the middle of the fight you hear ping pong a better choreography than plj a little bit to his head one god they're fighting like they're both tired already this is like a beautiful dance they've had up with a lot today that music really does make every [ __ ] fight better it does right it's really it's undeniably yeah that's great yeah yeah this should have been in the saving private ryan soundtrack i i'm gonna i'm gonna disagree on that but i appreciate he's gonna summon a snake oh oh he's doing this now my god i love it i like how he gets punched once is this and then he summons his full power he's like he's like this man is clearly a threat what cgi monstrosity will this be i'm so excited yeah me too so i think what's happening here is in a fighting game when your opponent starts charging ah it's real people you get worried about whether or not you should go near them in case they do some kind of aoe blast wait could he have summoned them anywhere or specifically only this time oh my god all of them all of them why does samurai look so silly i think they do the [ __ ] villains take a moment to be like what what happened you're sure shang is probably like these guys [ __ ] suck i pay them so much money this is a lame thing for shang like he should just want to fight him alone we'll [Music] oh was just happy to get more screen time i like the idea that he's like you wouldn't punch your own bro and then before you finish the sentence he punched oh this was not this is actually the the actor for the evil man and they just put a bunch of makeup and stuff on him oh wait no is this the soul of the brother that got captured like tommy no he's just saying to some shifting shaking he's just believing it because why not shifting oh no he's setting up that allows these things to go through the stone floor dude if if they did a bay ballot in this movie i would like it like for the final boss i'd be so [ __ ] happy chan chose his own path [Music] every man is responsible for his own destiny all right yeah wow the timing of the yeah what he's going to throw you under the knives bro look out unless he throws him onto the knives no way no okay wrong way try again he's run out of energy suddenly didn't he have energy now he's all gone spent it all fighting us acid spitter that don't shoot acid oh yeah bring back reptile he was the best villain oh his hair's ruined what no he's just regenerating hair i am the chosen one he's a chosen one well he is but this is souls and you still don't have one of your own oh damn guys oh you have a lot of pokemon cards but i bet you didn't make one oh no oh [ __ ] oh it was just one flawless victory it wasn't flawless it wasn't a false victory who are these people we did it are they the monks you've fallen into my trap the only way i was able to get into heaven is by dying he's like thanks bro hitler's soul this was the specific way for me to get into heaven thank you you're afraid yeah so the people he fought i guess they're just unconscious and they got their bodies back i mean he took the effort to come out here and have a have a chat do you think there'd be a lot of randy's just coming out be like what's going on what is this guy he's posing cause he flies [Music] yeah it's used in a lot of stuff yeah [Laughter] [Applause] why are they so happy what is what are the flags what's that oh raiden i forgot that was the character yeah he didn't do anything get right into this movie i guess you knew it would end this way didn't have a clue what is with his voice changing how why are they all happy they haven't gone on any arc they wouldn't maybe maybe samsung had his voice and it was released and now it's free oh oh what is it what oh jesus i don't think so wow that was really funny the movie knew what it was it was a movie about a fighting game not of love interest or romance or anything like that with tons of dialogue yeah they just one half it was still too much it was like a quarter of the movie with an introduction and then they just beat each other's ass honestly as a mortal combat with him i really hope he would just get [ __ ] skewered in the spikes at the end it's like no there's one there's no blood i'm going to have an see later yeah wait if he doesn't have a soul of his own what happens to him well as you saw he turned into a scala man oh yeah that's right he turned into the depressed me and i don't i don't how did you don't follow that well they didn't spell rain properly the was the [ __ ] hottest part of that entire movie all the females be damned sonia wearing that sweater on tropical island hmm this guy over here had the best thing that really pulled me out of the movie when their fashion was not suited to the weather it really does it bugs me because i knew that actress was sweating up a [ __ ] horse in that sweat this is how he tried to dunk her in an ice maybe humidity did not exist in that particular like pocket dimension maybe it's probably it probably did because they were next to an ocean these are all the forearms oceans don't work that way in the emperor's [ __ ] i thought we went over this i even got ed boon to be the voice of scorpion how about that wait really yeah that's awesome wait do i know that head boom the guy who created the world of the [ __ ] old man from up he was so excited he was like what really [Laughter] one is clearly better i mean look i i have some bad news like this movie was so [ __ ] good that i've realized you know like those people that watched avatar and they were sad they couldn't be in the avatar world they just like killed themselves i'm going to do that now because it's just this is just like you can be in the mortal kombat well you go before i do remember that yeah i remember the the news and all the avatar suicides yeah yeah wait did they actually kill themselves or they just like who don't want to live anymore no they were they're rabbit they were suicides apparently pandora was such a wonderful amazing incredible place and they really wanted to [ __ ] those blue people but it would never ever happen that they got super depressed go to the disney thing they made like a wild or whatever is that excluding all the suicides of people who just thought it was a lame movie it was just pocahontas in space and shitty nose dances with wars in space dancing with yeah seriously i don't think that's quite finished processing the whole reptile thing that was incredible that was very strange and then it led to like one of the actual more believable fight scenes of the movie you think that this was made in an era with like it all me there was some guy with a whole set of books and stuff no this all makes sense but like the audience isn't going to give a [ __ ] just throw it in it's like okay can i just say these credits are way [ __ ] longer than i could have ever predicted they were going to be in minutes yeah yeah you'd think like 12 people made this movie but apparently genuinely yeah genuinely you're like oh this is like oh look the blaster made it the most pile is interesting because in the game you could only make the character appear in the first game under very specific circumstances he wasn't catering twice he wasn't a playable character but if you killed another character in a certain way in it on a certain level you could get him to show up as like a fatality bonus kind of thing so i'm wondering if that went into this movie where it's like the conditions of getting him to appear in the movie have to be so [ __ ] weird that's probably it it made it really they made it a mystery on how to unlock the reptile fight my my favorite [ __ ] thing about mortal kombat because like back in the day my cousin who now is like a game developer for like id or whatever he would just show us mortal kombat and he had vhs tapes of him chronicling every type of fatality and babality and friendship so it was interesting to find out like this is how you unlock smoke it was like whoa all the easter eggs but it's like it's like the only thing i remember about it was just all the obscurity you had to get the gaming magazines to figure out all the secrets yeah i guess uh i guess it's time to um jump how many years was it 25 years 26. 26 years into the future they tried again his time combat keyword tried well i don't know what to expect from this new one my i don't have high expectations i'll say that and can i just say if you thought mortal kombat was bad you should check out mortal kombat annihilation which manages to be about 10 times worse it has some of the most atrocious lines of dialogue you'll ever see like there's a bunch of top ten lists oh yeah and you'll see a line from mortal kombat annihilation on there one of them's like when was that like um 96 97 maybe it came out pretty quick like one character insults another character and the response is literally like too bad you will die on that level you go to enhance the party it's over for you like they gave you the line they were like too bad you will shall die or something they're like i'm gonna add a dramatic pool it's too bad you shall die why did you do that all right i'm back no is it are we waiting for anybody are we already sorry we're still here i'm good to go ready to go moriarty just like that [ __ ] damn it's chase again yeah i mean we could start yeah all right well yeah ready all right so yeah just uh i'll count it down because what else is there this one i'm already bored it didn't right number one started with mortal explain yourself asians looking good so far amazing how they make this forest seem like a set so that means he's gonna be scorpion see now i mentioned the three buckets thing in the previous movie and she just said i need more than two buckets so i don't know feeling like this continuity already they're explicitly speaking japanese is like japanese or is he chinese i thought yeah i felt like the king louie you mean king liu kang isn't his name king louie can i go check on the the baby basket of course they're so dead well she's dead oh now that's meat that's really dude what they're oh hi i didn't write it down there we go gotcha well well well you've got a txo what's wrong little one is a baby they [ __ ] yell little one there they are right on time oh my god oh my god all right already this is an upgrade we're improving here we're improving find hanzo oh no chinese a symbol overwatch you know how do you make a mobile combat movie that doesn't get coded in blood and [ __ ] like that's the same it just kind of seems like a logical progression you gotta do it they got the funny part down in the previous movie but this one might have oh my goodness hi this is our home oh that's that bodes well he dropped the sword that's good what are you doing stupid child stop pull my finger almost doing this hail thing well they did bring back hitler in the previous movie so oh damn it my hand is freezing oh but that would be sub-zero but look he's way cooler in this one but this is og sub-zero not the main one i don't think that's good i don't even know if they'll do that in this film uh-oh oh what's with all these ice people i don't mean it's just mainly the one people with ice powers that takes me a long time to fill up these buckets no you haven't spent so long all the hard work at the perfect time idiot also he killed a bunch of people didn't he was didn't he hear the screams before now no they died quietly i guess he didn't know oh geez a second you were alive when i left oh dear they definitely weren't frozen hey honey hey honey hey hey hey nice to meet you hey hey this would be like if you made a writing class you'd be like he has a family they get killed i mean he's gonna be pissed and probably kill him he said he said i'm so lucky to have you so they're [ __ ] honey why aren't you talking to me how can you give me the cold shoulder oh oh oh finally yeah yes oh oh he needs that oh [Applause] no just keep chopping that's this is definitely more of what i wanted in terms of what were these guys need more combat you need a silly amount of blood more to come back there we go there it is there it is all right welcome up this is way better than the stupid snake thing over here oh my good god that is okay yes okay that weapon is wrong with me he's definitely growing on me he's definitely just better off using that than a sword yeah this guy is so cool sorry what yeah these guys stink oh [ __ ] bihar yeah so that's original sub-zero then bingo i don't know are you sure that ain't scorpion no no that's original so that's scorpion oh wait we're getting confused is the name of original sub zero okay i thought you meant the guy with a sweet look let's make it pointy i'm all like are you sure you're not confused when is he feeling all right buddy when is when is yellow scorpion man gonna turn into a skull with lava blood that's what i want to know hopefully soon this movie already feels like a penance for what they did to these characters in the last film oh you you should have just walked away for a bit no one makes me bleed my own blood throw my eyes blood no hey wait that guy gets lava blood really cool what's better lava blood or ice blood we love a blood right oh god damn it i sped with literally cooler oh he's digging in oh gee oh this is really bad oh my jimmy honestly with how much he went up there you're probably doomed already yeah oh that's really bad finally such an ice hole don't stop to look at wounds keep going this is the thing i need to know if this is mortal kombat rules where it's literally like you can pull their intestines out and help us only half i think this is just a fight all their balls get back up wow i feel like if you get slammed by a rock and you bleed that much you're probably dude rules i'm referring to health bars and not actual bodies that's all that matters health bars doesn't actually feel like the game where you get your next snap middle of combat and then we'll get back up yeah you'll be fine you can't have that why would he stab him there okay fatality oh he wasn't dead yet i don't feel like that's a fatal place to be stabbed it is when your health bar is empty why'd you say that in english you're gonna wake up now yeah i mean he's gonna wake up maybe he really did have one hp left one hp come on buddy you like the game yeah see that's not a fatal place to get stabbed yeah but it was failing pulling his chest down after the match is done in the game the guy you just killed gets back up looks more like the video game man not everybody gets two death scenes that's pretty cool oh the fire's a vengeance oh man now he gets to be a skull with lava blood i'm just gonna burn down the forest awesome since i have no idea what we're dealing with in this is that literally like his anger has made him a spirit of vengeance or some [ __ ] yes that's exactly oh like um like that nicholas cage movie with this i do because you wish i could watch both ghost riders for five minutes at some point or become a fireman because he's to be so yes the cgi is slightly improved but i mean dagger but i hardly know her whoa oh my god he looks like um who's the blind uh zatoichi the blind swordsman his eyes look so much better but again it's been like over a generation so yeah 26 years uh they better shape that up even the rain looks better [Laughter] splatters everywhere people like what was that earth realm is on the verge of catastrophe should it lose one more tournament the savage realm of outworld will invade but an ancient profession foretells that a new group of champions will be united by the rise of hanzo hasashi's blood yeah that is the standard opening story yes here's our boy liu kang i don't think this is this is luke cage this is yeah yeah randomly i haven't seen this yet i just know that this guy's the new addition i think they put him in instead of johnny cage that's the story anyway yeah more fights yeah [ __ ] that guy yeah yeah little mac sucks what yeah uppercuts are great at this range probably hey that looks like jack's sans robotic arms though what do you mean i don't know what yeah that's an expression yeah he's like kind of turned on oh i just realized kano really did die when he died yeah that was it oh yeah yeah it really was it yeah come on oh man give me a break such enthusiasm come on you're supposed to die you [ __ ] loser lawless victory shang just there like i'm disappointed in you brother why'd you tap out him i wonder it's like look at my face hey it's updated cgi world of outworld sweet tell you do those things spin on the side that doesn't look safe it would be a nice bit of continuity i wouldn't want to hang out on the edge of that wait oh is this smoke it's not smart is that oh no wait a minute i can't know that shang or is that rips it in half yeah it's a strength bracelet they don't work it doesn't really fit very well now we got one each you're sure you're okay those will come up later what what do you care you told him not to tap out she will cast spells with it the man that took the belt from eddie tobias name's jax nice to meet you jax yep jax wait how'd you control the kid finally eddie tobias ed boone and the other guy's name was something to us yeah yeah yeah yeah that's why it's backwards both of them that dragon logo you got i dig that man it's a birthmark it's a maybelline that's a weird birthmark it's very marketable i've been thinking of my superhero a birthmark like that okay someone told me that was a birthmark i was like no someone burned me i mean i just don't remember it you have it the temporary tattoo as the prophecy foretell he's drawn up with a sharpie oh my god look at this [Laughter] he's with his family this is already like significantly more boring i will say oh my goodness no where's the snow coming from i appreciate the violence but i want more violence maybe there's a fire in this yeah all the kind of like the personnel is really just non-stop all of this stuff and it's string together all the violence that's what we need when we have more combat okay yeah what's this emotion and contemplation doing in my mortal kombat movie the way they got this shot i feel like she's about to get killed i wonder if uh sub-zero has anything to do with this maybe something or kill it don't know why sub-zero would have anything to do with certainly that's right oh no the mustard now that's awesome so oh this is where you run towards your family right this is the world oh yeah that is very smooth from zero well sub-zero and yeah maybe i feel like going inside would be the thing to do get in my car if it's going through no [ __ ] it's going through that that are very dependable what's what's sub-zero's goal here because he didn't seem to execute very well i guess he wants to kill him to be really trying a little harder couldn't be he's after both of us look that's that's impossible oh my god we're related it's impossible somebody branded you too i beat birth okay points doc for the chosen one thing that's stupid yeah of course they had to [ __ ] throw that in there see like i i understand this is a movie releasing in 2021 you gotta have [ __ ] hallmarks of like a cinematic movie with all the story quickly reversed well reverse it's probably not good for you just get out of there so um it's kind of my car because it doesn't go it kind of seems like he's got both sub-zero and noob cyborg powers like if they're teleporting and stuff mm-hmm so i have to wonder what's going on right now yeah well noob skywalker kind of has a weird floofy black smoke thing kind of yeah when he teleports why didn't you go over there and shoot him why not let's see if it works oh he's gone [ __ ] he walked away what you're right that is weird smoke stuff it is right but it's cool i wouldn't be going anywhere near this [ __ ] yeah why did you yeah stay in the car run away travel quickly hold on because kenneth jackson jackson just says to the bottom oh well it's a there's one barrel but the bottom two are you probably should shoot oh quickly hold the gun don't hold the gun that's cool it looks great the ice cold yeah that looks really cool i mean you think you'll be using more of his ice powers done six tours [ __ ] oh he's got nice medals get him jacked no jax can't win this one no unfortunately he had to put his arms that's a pretty mean [ __ ] slap yeah you gotta freeze his arms and then blow him up yeah it has to happen i don't know instead of doing it he's sort of doing it so so far i'm still more impressed by the production value of the first movie oh not yet there they go there we go there's some good frost effects though oh that is grim wow i don't like that at all oh no oh there they go stay in the van next time good night he's probably not dead though oh oh oh okay that would be like a hell oh they crumbled i'm so happy that this movie is like really leaning into the violence shot reverse shot character conversations and more just murder and blood everything drama and stuff like that there's more fights more gore more violence and cut out all this boring stuff yeah i think the the less scenes we have with little mac the better little man he's too tall to be little mac well i guess he's meant to be our like generic hero outsider who gets taught all the stuff about mortal kombat and he has the voice johnny he's the perfect example like to do johnny would be a better way to do it because he doesn't know any of this but he's exactly like white and a man and again i mean you get the benefit of he's like he's probably mostly white but he has a bit of asian in there so it's like they have that little cauldron thrown there oh look we haven't had a look what is that it's got to be all right no that's working why did anybody think that was katana what was the argument no you wouldn't chase trust me yes i would trust me you wouldn't it's since the mud farms i'm very creative with my suicide they walk here every day leave the other guards to me we didn't win nine straight why is his voice because he's because he's been oh hey look it's oh my god that's not a very good great screen i assume from the last movie that this statue is going to eat here sand what are people doing with ketchup eat each other that's why they want to take over earth realm outworld sucks yes and then they're going to terraform it to be exactly like outworld i think they just want to live here and ruin everything else they like that we have bushes of green so he kept the car yeah whoa chill out bro that's a crime wow i think they want to eliminate the green soon there will only be blue it's only dark gray rocks everywhere [ __ ] why are is shining at my [ __ ] eyes yeah please you always do that in movies it's very rude are you just waiting out there to ambush a guy with your hands close the door don't pretend like you don't do that you guys are military look she's friends with jax special forces and the non-special you just met this guy like two minutes ago she knows him she's been studying could you imagine going into a room like you all over the wall like that there's not enough like okay i'm gonna go ahead and leave now you really want to [ __ ] me throughout history look i get it you're a fan oh right for that guy to fight for something known as mortal kombat yeah carefully bites [Laughter] this is part of why we were upset that he got so shittily killed in the other one let's see if you're a natural blonde watch your eye oh no now i have a metal face ah he turns back with a metal face it was that quick that was the ark oh no oh no reptile oh that has to be reptiles little green goose yeah it's gotta be nobody else do that oh and he's invisible nice oh [ __ ] oh oh oh oh that's how he kicks him for no good reason oh i guess he's trying to kill k oh there we go yeah there it be that no his is still there bullets didn't work maybe if i throw knives at it i'm gonna say it there we go [Laughter] yeah i'm gonna say this this reptile looks a little bit better than the other one just adjust it a little bit instead of playstation one it's playstation two now it's ps5 oh look at this that's what did i miss that looks like a new reptile he ate the thousands he already melted it up he just dissolved it if luke got spat in the face but that thing his face would be gone well so this is the problem with reptiles hey that's an idea i like that yeah let's find out get him get him now he has a knife too i hated these enemies in resident evil 4. oh is this going to be reptiles that's pretty good they're already making up for him and the other yeah yeah i was just like doing things now [Music] oh look at this little man [ __ ] that looks pretty good well 2021 right you guys help him [Music] what guys wait what oh what what was the editing on that what that was not intuitive at all oh yes there we go yes yes yes kind of wins this is awesome i thought his hand was melting i guess it's not oh delicious delicious ultra violence that would have kind of been funny though if he was really happy and he had like an omnic skeleton arm underneath it i know what you mean is is is the logic here that shang is sending his men to kill all of the mortal kombat people it seems like yeah is um is kano a moral combat person yes yes no he's not he's not a combatant does he have one of the tattoo birthmark things oh he's never had one of the patterns she said no he's just one of the characters he's drawing himself doing it hey nice my favorite character it's not even close my favorite dude he actually has a personality well yeah there's like keno's number one and then 17. i don't even know who the protagonist i think it was enough that he used his environment to free himself and then beat the enemy that the other two people couldn't where is it uh you got a pen you want to write this down get [ __ ] main character guy in front of your blade you're a traditional edgy main character personality who actually has a personality and then that lizard thing took off half of my face lucky for me you can hardly notice it [Laughter] why isn't he the protagonist he should be just god dude honestly this is the thing that happened in a lot of movies where the protagonist is the [ __ ] lame generic one there's some side character that just steals the show that the reason why they didn't have johnny cage in here is because kano is awesome he looks like a really badass version of robin account williams you're right how are you planning on getting us there oh i got a friend with a plane you got friends hey [ __ ] you pretty boy i'm a popular guy all right then he looks like um who who plays the flash in the dc movies that's marmilla he looks like his older brother well the main character guy is lame as [ __ ] yeah that's superman i'm like barely a character and i think he's gotten lamer by standing next to kano that's what's happening yeah he really sucks a little [ __ ] if i think he makes kayla look better like the fat best friend of kanye i'm still shocked that that turns out to be her actual house yeah that's just the state of veterans it's a sad commentary on oh wow all right oh jeez he's still just in hell i guess give me scorpion i want to see him [ __ ] people up with his fire do it you are out of it you okay nobody cares about him no i was sleeping exposition i think what's making me really happy as well is that for once kenner is actually played by an australian instead of somebody pretending to be australian you're looking for yeah representation because australia isn't real and it's an illuminati uh deception everyone's pretty even fake stuff you know lord of the rings they had actual goblins they didn't just [ __ ] like bring in people in costumes and [ __ ] that's true goblins are real that's actually true ah [ __ ] he got so much more screen time than the first one right oh yeah i feel like whoever made this actually kind of likes mortal kombat and they wanted to write the wrong just hang on it guys he said he needs a break i think he's doomed now you're jealous girlie give me a little marking hey i'm talking to you oh dude in the games this is enough to have a fight captain marvel 2.0 incoming yeah round one it was pathetic in the games campaigns they'd be like someone goes hey who are you fight right yeah they're like hey were you you looking at me funny like i'm not looking at you funny he's like [ __ ] it let's fight like every fighting game story like oh they actually do it it is round one here we go like oh you're supposed to be the best no i'm the best i'm gonna fight you look this is very accurate to the games stupid play no he should have known he can't fight he can't beat a woman in today's era yeah he's got the blade to his neck and it's actually making it bleed just take it take it i'm not a killer like you we're very surprised if sonya blade loses anything any battle yeah yeah yeah i'm starting to worry that she's going to be insane well neither here and all the protagonists have characters i just want to see kano's film give us more combat canelo i want to see scorpion as well yeah scorpion and canoe where everyone accepted if there's birth the mortal kombat in the universe i'd be okay with that oh yeah definitely okay that's far enough emcee all right i'm liu kang from the challenge of light i didn't recognize him because he wasn't sure you just shot a fireball out of your hand how'd you do that does that mean i'm gonna get superpowers at any point it does doesn't it there's much to learn the [ __ ] he's saying what we're all thinking really why is he touching me dude that was awesome dude that was absolutely being stuck to people's bodies he didn't care the fire comes out of his hand he puts the hat on his shoulders i have a feeling king is just dropped into the group like like slipknot is and suicide squad guy he can fireball anything what is all of this we get to the fight now it's been like what five minutes no violence come on they're gonna have like a training fight surely what do you guys eat i don't know is that why no that's no oh do you think they'll have barack obama they should pretty sure that was him they said by the way they'll definitely oh look that's when he died and no blanco i think he's hateful stop teasing scorpion give me just give me yeah so far scorpion is the guy who brought the most violent someone scorpioned back yeah i literally couldn't give less of a [ __ ] about everyone other than came out okay oh crunchy he steals it she's just wandering off oh look who it is there's jax hey jax he subzero didn't finish the job he must go he awaits i'm guessing ryden i hope it's william defoe the great you could have the phone to play raiden that'd be awesome how dramatic he has to do that he can just be like yeah wait there's a sec yeah he seriously was oh my lord hold on oh does he just sit there in this room with his head down really at least he has the [ __ ] hat this time jesus christ sitting there snoozing really cool hat too i i thought he was white at first i was gonna i was gonna fall they tried to kill my family help us oh he's so generic well i'm willing to die for my family can i come soon please dude he just said in generic action man voice i'm willing to die for my family that's like from a [ __ ] like for my friends it's like one of those generations i like them and then what you do is what you do is you have the camera pan a little and then kayla's like i'm [ __ ] not like this is like nicely paid off yeah oh my goodness gracious there's a bad guy man he's coming i i like comic relief but sometimes again oh ice boy all right finally maybe some violence can happen but not kill him here we go oh yeah give us luke zero yes come on do it let's do it now you missed oh and i hit i guess i'm better you look like you're losing already oh ch [Music] oh come on oh here he is damn that was cool look at that bloody face nice how long are you going to back up boys keep walking forward let's see how far they go they went over take anybody got a gun don't give a gun make with the gun oh you're gonna ruin it kill them let's start with little mac no don't save him no no no no i want to fight i want to fight no it's kind of in the star wars dome yeah it's like a force field i want to fight though i feel i i feel blue balls yeah a little bit yeah i was kind of hoping for a fight there the point of your training is for you to unlock that power without it the feeding out world will be impossible wow little vayne to have a statue oh they made it for him and he didn't want to be rude he's like no no it's not me it's like my dad that's fine well it's up there now so obviously yeah it's like a lot of work to get up there so what else is going to [ __ ] out of my ass like knowledge you ever shut up no it's good that he's speaking no allow him to speak silence woman you will be the one to speak last woman you wouldn't be here without her she's one of us a fighter without a mocking can never achieve that gunner and a fighter will always win every fight there's a liability to the others yeah liability yep go away get out of here this can anyone have a conversation without him finishing it off he does have the little mock thing right hey this is a funny this is a funny comment and then everyone just goes i guess that's the end of that sentence and conversation moving on what else are we gonna do it's fights and then listening to him [ __ ] jokes like once in a scene like he's like bender from future everyone's like i'm serious he's like i'm not lull and they're like i see and then they just let him dominate the conversation like that oh if i were in this scene i would say this funny thing oh that's so funny that's so relatable the only person hating he's such a killjoy all over here having a great time dude busty rips and now he's ripping wait if is it really worth having the lethal weapon in the practice fight oh watch out i hope i see that chopper head off in this otherwise i'll be very sad you know maybe your arcana is getting your ass kicked by a hat huh he's right [Music] that's very funny it was some point i hope he comments on everything that happens forever just watching movies if it was kano movies oh yeah no that would be great yeah that's the fight he's useless isn't that hilarious hey chase would it be annoying if someone commented negatively on everything yeah it would be yeah like the cato character yeah yeah yeah put a [ __ ] shirt on magic mike that was a very good very fresh reference thank you thank you very much if only he referenced adam oh good he actually did get cut by the hat hey healing it was is that they front loaded the exposition and all that stuff so that the second half of this film is just nothing but fights please i'm kind of hoping kano switches sides and it gets to be a funny thing well i mean he's a bad guy normally so yeah i think he's not just a bag of nobody often does the switchy sidey thing like that's his thing yeah he's like kind of a chaotic neutral almost it's like the little oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh stop oh now we're gonna get the montage until he wins i guess it's a moment right you've got to believe in yourself i need to see a heart be pulled out come on oh look at those weedy robot arms i'm assuming he gets blasted by a ray of robot arm energy it looks like a little t-rex yeah yeah it looks dumb i guess that's something that's gonna be good 2.0 version yeah i will get revenge i'm straight or he's gonna do something to him you'll fall into a vat of robotic arm it's just a big old bucket maybe he gets like adam jensen we're halfway through where's cano's laser eye at the end what's his name kung pao pass is a [ __ ] oh yuri is painted on mate egg roll here you go good boy oh wrecked seeing how you wouldn't be ready to fight if you had a hundred days to train fat lazy pig terrible photo serious girl you're like a dog so how did you so i i feel like the issue is that they're kind of like [ __ ] just like with his background how does that sound yeah it's like i was bugged at how they just made him lose that fight like for comedic effect it's like let me ask you he just kicked the [ __ ] out of reptiles yeah i wish the analysis of his fighting style was a little more intelligent than not just like you are you have zero you're picking zero skill and you are stupid and fat yeah everyone's pissing him off is he gonna is he gonna get all pissed and fire a laser you're angry oh [ __ ] nothing gets by you does it [Laughter] you stop [ __ ] cave dwelling happy twirling his anal beads taking orders from him tell him there's a helmet now sit down shut up and pass he's trying to ride oh [ __ ] he is why does he have a laser eye he already had it ah laser beam it's better than fireballs you [ __ ] yeah he's growing on me now now he wasn't girl he was funny before but it was just he was he was just like an obstacle in the writing where any time anything would happen he would just be like writing writing how i feel you're an obstacle in our fun yeah stupid no no i love comic relief i just like it when it's a little bit more um selective not just every [ __ ] other line when it's successful if every line is hilarious yeah character getting there is [ __ ] amazing yeah absolutely he was a lazy little [ __ ] him up he was a little too much for me at the start i caught me off guard but like he's easily the one of the best parts of this movie yeah no i'm definitely definitely agreeing initially i was just like all right yeah we get it your quippy just like let the other characters talk for like half a second no they don't don't let little mac talk he's terrible they have nothing to say i like how i say i like him but i was a little annoyed by some of his comedy and you guys just said how could you not like him he's the funny man you have to like the funny man chase is upset that he ostracized himself from our fun i'm just blown away rags is so right i still wish we had more dragon h2 came out that's why i appreciated how all of your answers could be sarcastic and witty because i just wanted a sarcastic witty and enjoyable protagonist in anything kind of wait you didn't choose to have your character be like epic and dramatic in everything they say like i'm not ready i don't know the conversation options in that game in the second one definitely mattered a lot and not the heck oh [ __ ] are they getting scorpion back we have scorpion now please dude sub-zero and scorpion fans must be so [ __ ] happy with the treatment so far visually yes and we've had the one yeah fight maybe two fights but i want more give me like if i can't see blood pouring out of wounds i don't know what i'm doing not give up on this i'm sorry i have to do this i can just personality protagonist line god i hate it it's like i thought we dropped this in the 2010s ish it's um if anyone's seen king of the monsters the protagonist in that is the exact same oh and yeah yeah like he was enjoyable in his awfulness like we could make fun of him easier this guy's cool oh kabob oh cabral this character's cardboard there's nothing i think these guys are oh my god she is beautiful isn't she yeah that screech is a real turn-on also is cabal from like new york you talk like that well that's hunk from resident evil did you see a guy down there complete [ __ ] [ __ ] answers to kano oh my god i love it everyone agrees an iron lung he's a low-life piece of [ __ ] scumbag you're gonna love him can this guy get his own movie please he's got so many arms dude just make him make everybody fight satisfyingly and i will give you a thumbs up movie please that's all i want yeah i don't take orders from anyone then you're on the wrong side fight with us and you can have more money than you know what to do with help you could turn this whole temple into your own casino if you wanted to just name your price at that moment be good i would imagine he's just going to be strict evil for the rest of your bad guys yeah i know you don't want to see him die but he that's what kane would do yeah really really good idea going back to your house it's not like sub-zero came to your house earlier to try and kill you you [ __ ] up yours exactly we have all these other characters and now somebody go back to this guy oh yeah this guy's supposed to be like this yeah see here he is gonna [ __ ] up your family thanks for showing up it is infinitely amusing that he's there like you know new guy and he's like the worst absolute worst oh no he's doing evil yeah bunny no well surely raven can just make it again right maybe he needs a staff oh spooky oh geez well here we go man that's getting some we're running out of time just better we better start fighting that's an entrance he he's all about that he loves his entrances the undoing of the prophecy has begun we have a lame name isn't it the undoing of the prophecy man you are having a hard time opening that door aren't you buddy oh there he is you should just smash through it damn god you suck what up you're gonna go in or what the world of warcraft movie is looking a lot different why would you go for them instead of the guy yeah i don't know why you would even bother yeah yeah oh well these guys these two are helpless and they're not running inside so yeah just crush them oh crowbar that'll help a crowbar a mirror it will though yeah why wouldn't you want a crowbar no you're not going to do this it's not going to help you as much as maybe like a sword or anything else oh thank god yes oh jax needs better arms what is this he's better off he's just the fight before he gets enough oh [ __ ] was that a lion oh look at that transition i like a little double punch that was cute [ __ ] him up well he's dead oh damn power oh we've got to get the pay off where she opens her mouth you gotta do it it's a girl fight cafe this is serious chase someone could get hurt wow i feel like you're dead no he's got power he'll die he's gonna unleash his powers where the [ __ ] is scorpion give me oh he dropped his crowbar wow how are you alive oh all right we got some injuries i was going to say more combat rules though she's probably fine yeah yeah she's only lost like oh there's only 20. do it do it do it eat her [ __ ] face [Music] [Laughter] [Laughter] guys i'm pretty sure he's doomed especially because he's got traitortisms on him right now he's gotta get his thumb up you know what stories work he's gonna get confidence they just lost a fight but she lost to another you know what we'll still have here we go go grab your hat you need it go stand in the corner just surrounded by the whole world remember he can jump through the floor and stuff do that oh he's doing that thing where he appeared yeah oh he's doing he'll pick out the monks do in the movie he's gonna be super calm even though they do something yeah oh wait was this the plan mystical whoa whoa oh that seems earned yeah that actually yeah the one thing i will say is i have no i didn't know you could control the hat that way i hope there weren't many fans of the bat character lady because she's i don't think people care about the torah that much the guy judging the fight no no finish him off rip him in half please he's he gets his power because his family's in danger maybe he'll be of the car and then you'll be like no that old ford ain't going to start passing yes oh yeah here it is everything's in place oh no it's like the end of a quiet place there it is here comes my family no oh oh oh oh what is this that's a strength bracelet that's what they do what's happening wow that's cheating though oh is this like black is he is he a vibrator man or something oh it's better than fidget spinner man oh he definitely just grabbed his sneak up on your enemy by the way dude he has literal plot armor wow the cg is quite good for his face in my opinion good that you said in your opinion so he's like gathering up hits and energy yeah that's just black panthers i'm used to saying something what you think that in your opinion would protect you you know a little bit maybe roll away okay so now you just know to punch him in the head right just punch him in the head what is this system yeah he just gave his power from getting hit man gets red gets stronger oh i guess well whoa what's up okay okay okay come on with the power of being punished you get this that seems hardly fair does he even know what's happening with his own body right now is he like he's just like oh [ __ ] cool that's awesome he looks so sad come on it's okay i have three more i don't know things are gonna fall out oh that was good i like how it [ __ ] like at the bottom oh pretty cool oh things falling out like i said now you're giving us what we want well listen i'm really sad i wish that this was johnny for that to happen but yeah goro deserved a better death than that i'm sorry it was kind of cool but the character is still kind of boring i don't know i don't know extremely boring every moment that people aren't getting stabbed and dismembered in this movie i just kind of tune out uh and him trying to save her will give him crazy super dupers yeah he's the chosen so is that like a rule in this world you sort of just get powers based on what you want oh yeah here we go oh my god oh oh magic chris time for gundam baby why is this happening now i don't know because he really wants it that seems to be what everyone is arms like now everyone gets their powers when they really really want them in a time of need or something when they really feel like having him for some powers right now that was the case did kano need to be really really pissed [Laughter] he really needed that egg roll he's just in the background like i'm here to say some funny [ __ ] soon don't worry i hope so it's okay there's a doorway back oh i hate here it's not over it's not over now i have magic powers i can kind of sucks he walks into it and he dies no that was actually just a light no that was just a lightning storm yeah yeah you just died nicely done that's funny stop it teleporter okay so get the obvious weak spot the face oh geez oh he's gonna stick out his nose yeah probably he's about to get his soul sucked dude these two have been in this position for hours did he say he's gonna get his soul sucked is that what he said that's what he said do you hear those punches wait what is what is this oh what is protagonist doing protagonist help [ __ ] my soul protagonist what you're doing what are you doing that's that's okay just stand there well i guess he could die because he got i know we're powerless we couldn't get one fatality oh he's going to stop other people from saving him too if we intervene the cg will get considerably more complicated i think this his razor hat went through the yeah it did hopefully it landed insomnia soon cannot follow us here dude that was [ __ ] can't follow you here why didn't you go there at the beginning then they have to learn their powers yeah that seems to be an issue is it just weird does she just stare blankly with her mouth again most of this movie i guess they gave him the fatalities so they could get rid of something and then the fatality shang sung just did was pretty cool yeah that was cool are the gods that forbid them from engaging in one realm of war against another i need sometimes i'm sorry yeah sorry that's oh no which doesn't feel true because oh wait no he's sorcerer yeah no i guess no i don't buy that that's kind of i want to see scorpion give me scorpions yeah i know where is that [ __ ] cheated at this point we need to fight smarter we need to control the fight how uh now you're taking charge shut the [ __ ] up little mac is little mac like a new character just for this movie yeah this is like a new kid in south park yeah he's like the self and he's the self oc is what i've accepted about this character we're going to show powers show him the power of friendship you guys god he's so lame hey that's the map i don't recognize that not only do you make that character so [ __ ] uninteresting you gave him a device that lets him do anything oh yeah we make him more uninteresting i don't know i think that armored thing wait how did he go on the lightning they had to make sonia fight him didn't they oh hey buddy wait so ryden's teleporting them in here he's just street fighter now what about sub-zero nobody's taking him out one-on-one we saved sub-zero for last oh we just established he's just unstoppable compared to everyone else okay why didn't you just why don't you put you in individually as a group that seems like a safe bet um all right went for the head that time finally as long as i care about this one jackson well no i want jax to uppercut him onto the stage death yeah yeah come on up a cut where is that come on spike death come on he's [ __ ] brutalizing him get him oh nice oh [Music] just look at here cut the house in half i like how his eye laser is like his tick he just has to do it all the time and voluntarily unless she loses this fight there's no engine here because she's already beat this guy like we already know he's gonna look at her and use her laser see at least she's not unstoppable right she's taking hits so at least there's that yeah at least even though she's still too overpowered you're gonna get people commenting on this like oh just because of girls i'm winning in a fight dude anybody watching this probably wants him to win too oh oh no get maybe he'll get his laser eye oh what he's gonna get his magic laser from working how do you short circuit what was that bottle you threw at him i don't i don't know let him survive and be in the next one please yeah that's what i want yeah give him his cool little brother like who made this thinking that they want her to win tell me how does that feel no this is a disappointment that's [ __ ] lame no it's really lame this guy's cool both of these guys yeah cabal and yeah might die though because he's against luke because he's the bad guy he has to lose could you do that oh there it is oh no he's in the pit he put him in the star wars quicksand in the mud oh he's going to burn him cabal's already been boomed that's his whole thing wait why what why yes there it is yes come on there it is there it is i don't care i put my dick in that i'm just saying i wouldn't oh what do you know she appeared behind you who would have seen that you can't kill him it's impossible for you to kill him he's the protagonist oh she's got that now so she just used them and that's it okay you know at least okay well that's [ __ ] lame she just goes p-ring sonia ruined it oh well that's [ __ ] go once again everyone's fine go away i'm very upset by their choices narratively i was lame just look at you and use his [ __ ] laser maybe shang tsung's gonna show up here yeah isn't the daughter technically the the the oh it's sub-zero well this is a good neighborhood wait is it smoke well that's it's no it's not it's it's it's that's the way to teleport i thought it was smoke i'm waiting to put smoke in one of these movies how does he know that that holds any meaning to him i don't know i guess you just guess he just guessed okay but did he not kill the family maybe it's a trick okay he's sub-zero should totally [ __ ] win here come on i don't see how he will you know he's not going to i know all he has to do is shatter the entire arena and then just crush him with that he can telekinetically control the ice so he can't lose is he going to summon the score oh no he is isn't he oh he's going to use the scorpion powers no i want it to be no i want actual scorpion come on yeah what you want because little matt gets to win i feel like this guy's gonna die already apparently oh a little bouncy oh cause he had a little glass little ice trampoline it's fun just just commit freeze him fully commit yeah i guess that's doing this in the in the face just do it in the face oh i fight for my family i fight for my family now you will die with your family my family did you say maybe i won't that's my trigger word the power of my family martha how are you doing this i'm freezing you stop raise him it's like excuse me oh yeah here we go yep listen uh just let me have scorpion in sub-zero fighting [Laughter] oh make a sword make a sword you know the shitty protagonist gets the final hit they'll find a way to ruin this trust me no they know that this guy's got his i think they know no scorpion's too cool i think they yeah yeah no scorpion's gonna win this one but then [ __ ] fireball is gonna get him it's like he said in the beginning that's cool all right thanks for showing me almost four didn't need to say that scorpion is that like canonical that scorpion's japanese yeah i think it is no not you oh very little snapchat very little outside of the games she's dead jim whoa you probably shouldn't do that scatter her please shout out here stop it oh no okay okay that was very cool all right i want to see scorpion fire moves let's go [Music] stop it but that's just punching the eyes for a second blast her arms off yeah no you get over here hey look that's a that's a development of the original time he did it i want to see his fire teleport do it now teleport him to the stick dimension oh oh the clone yeah nice how you guys getting this is cool and anime isn't is beyond me why are you even bringing that up because ios has to talk about anime he's contractually obligated no i just i say anime and you guys like [ __ ] yourselves it's really funny to me in order for us to like anime the characters have to be good and it's not really and all anime you don't even know this guy i'm part of the fight too oh we did get the [ __ ] goro does he have to kill this guy too do you have to kill sub-zero use your firepower all right come there we go i think [ __ ] [ __ ] i'm still not i would have way preferred it if you've got a clean kill fatality come on oh yeah we're getting a super fatality here no get out of this movie i think everything works every time he appears he he he really doesn't feel like a self-insertion anything and then i killed the final boss and i was really cool and then scorpion and i feel like and then everyone loved me because i was very cool oh they're just okay the guy who plays subscribers i guess he's already like freezer he's like i have my fun now it's time to rescue see ya whoa oh here it is yeah what did i tell you fire beats ice type every time i've been trained in my childhood to know this oh he's still okay oh he's not okay i could have been better yeah exactly maybe they're trying to leave it open so that they can bring him back yeah so maybe that'll be i feel like the stakes are a little more interesting than the actual like outcomes of the fights it's like oh really that's the wrong thing i don't think what yeah what was that right he wants him to make babies you know japanese did you did you not understand me oh you're talking about him okay man no he spoke japanese like sorry i don't i don't know what you told me to do oh yeah yeah was that a good shot was it a good scene they just leave it in i want sub-zero to stick around but i just feel like scorpion like would have made sure we could just leave the building it would be so cold yeah oh okay it's raining the guy really doesn't do anything oh hey it's raining he might do a thing now who knows i thought you said you couldn't get involved they worked hard on this set i mean they go they want to get their money's worth out of it yeah that's that's actually probably the reason like this is really cold you could go somewhere i spent like [ __ ] five hundred thousand dollars and i said this has to be the final setting you have killed my warriors and you think you have won but death is only another you kind of did though hey he's going to be out there he is yep you'll you'll be goro too electric booster that's very original thank you i genuinely think that they showed the smoke on those two to let us know those two will come back yeah yeah [Music] i'll assemble a new list of champions you must find them who's first oh you who are going to be our new people though this entire movie is at the protagonist it has to be the second one now surely we can have johnny casey no no no no no no they replace he's off doing something in the distance right we just never see him again if we've killed kano or one white guy we can have johnny cage now right we're gonna go hollywood yeah all i know about him is what i saw from mortal kombat and he was yeah you know i want more of him johnny cage that's all right the action parts are great everything else not everything is a little bit more and this one took more of an emphasis on like the cinematic kind of the storytelling and you know i i just like the truth and this one had voice interaction yes the fighting in the first one was [ __ ] stand out of the the whole show absolutely yeah clearly try and make him a a favorite for the audience and then you know do what they did and because what i thought they'd do was he gets he turns evil but then at the end he turns good again well i guess that's well you haven't played the games so that's that's what they do in movies you have the guy and he's like and then he starts off okay i think would have been more in his character is when he fought sonia she would have damaged his eye again and he would have run away like you know that would have i would have yeah that would have been good if it gave him some weight as well back because now he's gone that's freeman he just runs the world into the distance mortal kombat the the new film it could open with him on like an operating table and he's just not dead yeah good okay i gotta ask a question is little mac more or less tolerable than rey from star wars he's the same character he's he's i've never been more frustrated with a protagonist before he's he unlike him he does not fit he's just he feels like a self-insert it's terrible he hasn't been to the personality other than generic protagonist hero who loves his family in any way yeah basic stuff is like he likes his family yeah yeah who she was only better than protagonists because she didn't have as much of an effect on all the plot explosions she sort of gave jax a little bit of an inspirational pep talk but yeah you can then again that was just her being next to a better character he was just cooler the movie lost me at the gold armor that was stupid i remember that all the of all the people i'm still not even sure what his powers are he literally really gets his ass kicked to get power and they never went for his face other than that one time cole cole young was the name of the [ __ ] little mac character he was the first in the jesus christ yeah i guess i heard his name once and i refuse to call him by that because i [ __ ] loathe this character i refuse to store that information about who he is the first movie a little bit more obviously this is like a more well-rounded movie but all the cinematic parts just had me falling asleep and i was just waiting for the next fight the first one had no shortage of like hilariously [ __ ] shitty moments this one was just like the first one was just fight after fight yeah it was [ __ ] if this movie had all of the story ripped out and it was just one person after another entering an arena and fighting to the death i feel like i would enjoy that more just with really high octane like expensive cg gore i'd [ __ ] that'd be a perfect movie for me you just want to go watch some people dismember each other it's like here's the movie for you dude get some popcorn and get some beer i'm fine with them doing character and story stuff they're just [ __ ] i like personal stuff and character things and characters that you care about but yeah but it should like add something where the woman's [ __ ] unstoppable and skinny and the protagonist is boring and shitty and lame and the one interesting character they do him dirty and like everyone uh it's just he had a good amount of screen time though he really he really he did have a good amount of screen time it's just it became frustrating to know exactly who was going to die based on the good and bad it was like they were good and bad so you knew that the bad was going to die because it was always going to prevail there it was bummer it felt like they didn't know what they had too because they just erased cabal and kano and it's like those two are clearly the most interesting people it could have been like a [ __ ] amazing movie and it was just like an okay movie yeah yeah you could have really done more we're the most fun and interesting to watch you know the ones they killed off and like because you know like i i think he was like fireballs are for [ __ ] that was the moment where i was like okay he annoyed me a little bit at first but like now i really like him everything he said started to really sound more relatable than it did at first i was like okay yeah i agree with him there vampire before he was just like you didn't even get to do a vampire payoff she didn't get to buy anybody a little bit later no i know i hope there weren't a lot of fans of the the vampire lady because unlikely this is hard to call themselves like a mortal combat fan in 2021 i feel like that's like super boomer tear well i think i don't think i've known many most of them are just going to be really exciting that's like talking to someone in 2021 they're like i'm a die-hard gi joe fan it's like really you exist hey there's some boomer listening to this like what the [ __ ] chase i [ __ ] love gi joe [ __ ] you yeah all you want now this for them to do a signature move and then get killed that's all we want to see [Laughter] give me that i just think it would have been a better movie if it was anime and tell if you're being ironic or not yes i'm definitely when i speak in this voice this is my very serious i think you're using that to to hide what you secretly desire yes rex i definitely want an anime mortal kombat that would look so much shittier with like the gore would be so pathetic i mean there was an anime tekken movie it did like an anime matrix movie they didn't animate dead space movie yeah they don't do very well i can't imagine why i kind of hope this does well because i i wouldn't mind another one to watch later i wouldn't mind another yeah well i feel like this is precisely the kind of like it knows what his market is and it should do fine i have to imagine it's going to do okay i mean just like a [ __ ] goofy blockbuster movie where you watch people beat the [ __ ] out of each other and get a drop something yeah i think an average movie going audience will be able to enjoy that even if they know [ __ ] nothing about the series i'm reading on wikipedia apparently if this film is successful the guy who like some of these people signed on to make four movies yeah i think four is optimistic i'm just i'm hoping for two yeah well yeah i don't know or more movies i could just have a couple of videos they'll kill will kill him in the third and fourth or whatever and then galactus will arrive it'll be great i just i just i would like to see a mortal kombat movie where we don't have good side bad side where you the the plot armor is clear i just want a nice tournament setting where you get the characters and who wins or who loses is just kind of happening i actually gave our protag the [ __ ] plot armor power that's literally literally about a dozen opportunities to kill him and he threw him into barn beams and all kinds of [ __ ] and he just lived treat the protagonist is almost more on the nose and how they treated rey he just they literally gave him blood armor yeah because you know what it does [ __ ] sonia is is like the same thing as our protagonist she literally like didn't get to have it by birth because she was chosen i think she just got one because she killed kate it was like how how and then she just shows up with death slinkies and then that's yeah that's her character so lame he shows up and shoots her and dies oh okay that she proved she was already awesome to the universe and the universe was like okay we we believe you now i think i preferred the new version and i would rather see the next one of this than the next one of the prior however yeah this one frustrated me more though yeah that's because you cared yeah yeah yeah well it could have done so much better with all the you know everything at its disposal these days but they just didn't yeah they they yeah it felt like it felt like a little bit of a [ __ ] uh cop out sometimes i think it felt a little bit restrained like they weren't comfortable with actually going really hard or leaning into it they still needed that little grounding element when that was unneeded you had what's that what's that movie that's like first person action and it's like he's jumping on a helicopter yeah like i wish they went like a hardcore henry route where they just made it [ __ ] hyper violent with [ __ ] everything that would have been like amazing but yeah like you said they felt way too australian government they uh [Laughter] uh yeah they definitely definitely felt way too restrained they could have made that so much more balls to the wall entertaining but maybe there's like left me left a lot to be desired you know maybe having like a standard sort of people talking in room stuff is what you have to do when you want to appeal to a mainline audience yeah you gotta have that shot reverse shot yes i just wish they didn't do that they just didn't appeal to the main line lean into the camp there's so much you could do with mortal kombat there's so many [ __ ] characters the fact that they like it was just so squandered i mean yeah hey look if you want a good mortal kombat movie look no further than mortal kombat annihilation citizen it is so bad it just well baby if they release a sequel to this we'll do those back-to-back annihilations yeah i had a good time i enjoyed the you know like the the buzz sword fatality the smacking the head fatality and the pulling the heartbeat i liked all of them i wish that wasn't it i wish there was like six you know yeah yeah it felt so thin well technically you had cabals right sort of ends were kind of just like oh okay like they sort of yeah i think what i want is is bodies being blown apart i guess it's like it's like when i when i think back to this one show that i reviewed the first season was like really amazing everything was super funny entertaining and then they did like a second season like a decade later like hey we're cashing in on this and just it was all conversation and jokes whereas the first uh season was known for like balls of the wall action and amazing like animation and budget and then the second one they're just like yeah we're just going to make this like a [ __ ] sitcom now well i i feel like the pro tag really held the whole movie back like the whole movie entirely by him because of his existence they weren't willing to really lean in yeah chop him the [ __ ] out we don't need him i know dude the main character should have been scorpion i don't know why it wasn't yeah yeah i thought that that's what they were going for oh well that's fun just that was literally what was holding the movie together was the book movie the scorpion yeah that dynamic between those two characters yeah what do we have like the protagonist got involved and like if i'm watching your movie i shouldn't be thinking get this [ __ ] protagonist out of the film i don't know what is is sonya blade like a really popular character that people love yeah she's been there since the beginning she's got to go in because for both of these movies she's just been soldier lady oh yeah she does she can be she can be way better characterized they've made it lame in both of them really yeah she's just a lame you know modern day female character in thing and it is super clean gets a couple cuts here and there but i would argue the male equivalent is what we got as well where it's just kind of yeah russian hero man who has to fight for his family like yeah yeah yeah how strange to have a 10-minute prologue of this story that's clearly set and everything's understood then we don't come back to that until like the finale yeah they spend a lot of time with the protagonist and the little girl and the mom and like ugh no one [ __ ] cares and if they say they do they're lying it should have been about scorpion that's that's it that's all you had to do the build-up made that a little satisfying when he did finally show up it's just like oh are they are they going to do it they're going to do it oh there's the hook like that was pretty satisfying but yeah it felt all too rushed they could have chewed the fat a little bit more in terms of the pacing but they felt like they were really in a hurry to get to the end of the story and like we have to he has to hit all these beats in this exact order at this time and it's just kind of like you just [ __ ] have fun have more have more fun with it it felt a little too serious for what should have been like a schlocky [ __ ] gory martial arts movie yeah they really held back at certain points it's just like what you're doing guys big time yeah but then when they didn't hold back it was awesome yes yeah yeah it almost felt like there were two different directors who wanted two different things and they each got like they divvied up through luck who would do what and so that's why it felt like the film was just it felt like two different movies mashed together awkwardly yeah because that's those are the things that we kind of like really cool yeah yeah that was amazing that was arguably the best fight in the film because sorry what was the black guy in the very beginning your environment and countering the other person's powers like he's invisible i'll stick i'll use this knife in this flare and i'll stick it to its back and that was a really cool visual what was the name of the black guy in the beginning that lost his arms jacks jacks i thought so yeah like that scene was that was [ __ ] brutal like that like made me uncomfortable to watch that was really gory and that's that was the thing that's what mortal kombat did back in the day was it even though it was just messing with [ __ ] transparent jpegs and [ __ ] it was like you know knocking off someone's head and watching a bunch of blood comically squirt out like that's what made that fun what it really was yes but like as a kid like that was the goriest games had gotten at that time so it was like for some it was kind of traumatic it was like oh my god i've never seen gordon he pulled out his spine you know and so then you you want more of that in the movie you want more like i want [ __ ] like pixel string oh no i want like [ __ ] razor blades near people's areola or not ariel they're in their [ __ ] eyes shut up wow they saw their anatomy is not my strong suit um you know you just want [ __ ] [ __ ] to go oh my god that was awesome i don't know why they didn't feel because that's the thing back in a while like you want to show your friends all the fatalities because that's just like look at this [ __ ] [ __ ] yeah so if there is a second movie lean into the camp you [ __ ] yeah and get rid of that that cold kid dude you know that he's gonna ruin the second one too he's gotta go he can't do it he needs to be killed this is a success it's not his success dude they have to they have to kill him like in the first quarter of the movie and you go just like well just chop his head off it's right there it's vulnerable in the first 60 seconds our master assassin had him totally by surprise and she scrapes his armor with it so we need to have a movies need to have like a conversation about how knives work you don't slash with knives that's dumb and it's stupid and it don't work you stab with knives movies you stab with knives knives are for stabbing what if i want to slash with them though then you're dumb oh man yeah i wouldn't even give him that much respect that you guys are suggesting i would just be like some random character halfway through maybe a fat comic relief type is like what happened to that guy you know he died and you move on he got anal cancer [Laughter] that's not important the action happened it was great what happened to cole oh we don't talk about that who we just don't talk and then they just move on all right then uh yeah we need newer more bloody mortal kombat movies and i'll be before you just make it just make it so much bloodier let's go ham it'll be great yeah it was fun i enjoyed both of the movies i enjoyed them both as well but i think that i think mahler summed it up well the second one made me more upset because i cared right he wanted to see it like really hit his full potential yeah yeah big time like you could have been great but you weren't and so i'm more disappointed in you they had more to work with son i'm very disappointed you couldn't i loved they really did a lot of impressive [ __ ] with the [ __ ] ice visuals like at times for me i mean not not that i'm any like 3d modeler expert or anything like that but for as a layman looking at it with my [ __ ] untrained eye it looked like genuinely like frost and it made [ __ ] jax's arms bleeding and then getting cut off like really brutal so i i enjoyed that part a lot it was very it was great yeah really good the the the smoke the black smoke portal yeah that looked great looking good um the face of what's her name molina yeah her weirdo opening yeah her face that looked really cool when her mouth opened up like that uh milan also is it if it feels weird that you would have the background of cabal and um luke kano kano that's it this is a lot of names um and they don't like they don't have a fight at the end or something like they build up that they know each other and they just use it too yeah you're right evil but they don't do anything with it and it's like oh okay yeah he's the guy who put me in this suit and then he just okay come on over and be my friend do you think it would have been more interesting to kind of see them like sparring before actual lives are at stake where it's like you get to see this character fight this character and then they kind of call it off before they die just to kind of see how they would match up and then at the end it's like now that we've seen everyone's power and now we'll decide like who murders everyone else that could work just to give everyone what they want it's like here's your favorite character let's see how cool he is in this fight you know just weird like adaptation wise like there's so much stuff that would make more sense if you had played the games but at the same time like they're doing random [ __ ] that they want to do on their own yeah i guess it's like the more you care about the original like ip the more you like where did that come from oh yeah just just like armor better at the very least be something from the games because if it's not [ __ ] that plot armor [Laughter] i assume that the sequel will will actually be the tournament itself right yeah this one right yeah they'll go if they just have people gathering champions which is what they're leading up to and it's just about even if they never get to it i don't really care yeah i mean we really don't need we want to see the fights that's why we're watching yeah no the tournament's just like a framing device for people fighting yeah the protagonist inputted game shark codes and didn't got the always exactly and we have our evil emperor man and he wants to still do his plan isn't changed it's just he has to get new people to do it or the old people again so they they definitely have left the door open for the return of some characters with some modifications who knows what happens when they go through the death portal i wonder if goro will come back as the girl version of goro like he's he's gonna be trans now or something girl uh something more combat does which the movies could usually do is just they just reset the timeline constantly bring everyone back bring dark versions of everybody around that just that's just something that can happen and again give a [ __ ] about the story yeah someone could get their head chopped off and then you know they're like i've i got surgery well actually i have black magic powers from the multi-nether world that will make them a super skull warrior or something and yeah and just like [ __ ] it whatever and so we're really only in this for those zany characters with crazy powers fighting each other she's like just own it okay just yeah at the end of the day that's really why people are buying yeah to see mortal kombat movies make it schlocky and hyper violence yeah i fight for my family and i'm great yeah yes because like it seems like with kane we can't really seem to understand that like he's like i relate with this protagonist he is great that's probably most of the audience is just like i also have a family but like for real though doesn't he sound like he's mandated when you think about it oh you need to have a protagonist who has a family that he cares about he's like oh [ __ ] me check mark they wanted to get funding but the producer said well you gotta have you know xyz because that's gonna be a lot of asians it's gonna be asian us will be accused of whitewashing they'll be cancelled and they they're like name him whatever the asian equivalent of john is the most like yeah first name last name everyone knows that coal is the john of the asian community yeah all those coal coal winds coleslaw so i don't know when you said that that was really fun to me even though i like thought it already but then the moment you said it it just became instantly really funny oh no that could be his weapon he could be cole saw and he could have like uh spinning yeah so he just shot a lot of his [ __ ] armor it just goes it just shoots at people oh god what was that that's my ability i'm cold flaming cold clothes flaming flaming coleslaw that's made with gasoline we're already writing a better movie by the way no it's not too dirty oh and the protagonist will be likable yeah oh that dude what an upgrade um the protagonist will just be the uh the aussie that's it that's better yeah i'm amused that in this universe you just have to want it enough and you get a power and you if you the only way the only way that's possible is if you have the tattoo birthmark but that you can get by but if you kill killing someone with it you also get it i just like how he was like oh i'm going to get powers too right and then he gets a laser [ __ ] you i win all right yeah that's probably something most people would do anyway efficiently for the entire movie it's just an involuntary like premature ejaculation thing where he's just like you hit me he just [ __ ] happens he's like oh god i'm so embarrassed you know i mean the way that he's written it comes across as they're aware of what they're doing but that the way the generic protagonist man is written it's like oh they're completely unaware of what they're doing is there a common thread here i'll just be in the second one i do not care how you bring them back just put them in the second one yeah make it happen they they have left the door open for him coming back but may i just may i just make my final concluding thought and say that even if it's a shitty mortal kombat movie it's still very good fun with friends especially with little alcohol definitely worth a try one of those how are you gonna watch this with the friends of yours later yeah that's what it was all right well yeah what are you going to pay me for this when did you get the payment going to clear for my buckets well much like your three calls you're much like your chi or what what are the powers called your aurora in anime much like your arcana your your payment was inside you the whole time you just had to i'm so blessed very deep thank you that was pretty cool today's been a beautiful day oh don't thank me it was all you the power was inside the whole time but i was good that was really fun i enjoyed it good times say goodbye everybody goodbye bye check out mortal kombat annihilation find the truth in you memes it's the ultimate catalyst what you bring me again what you bring me what you bring what you bring again what you bring me what you bring again what'd you bring again

Channel: MooLer

Views: 307,503

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Id: vxSn7bGdJVw

Length: 170min 51sec (10251 seconds)

Published: Wed May 19 2021