Eddie Griffin Voodoo Child (Full Standup) (HD)

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[Applause] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] love and laser they couldn't have named the city better Los Angeles cuz there's some lost motherfuckers here [Applause] yawns and what y'all sittin at home a couple of weeks ago watching that motherfucking bank robbery Los Angeles I knew motherfuckers was gone but this was like testing ground for nuts I'm sitting at home watching the motherfucking bank robbery and I used to like hate the police with a passion like everybody else fucking Hill thing cuz they always fuck which is a ticket to a polo and I'll get on the car put your hands up on the car get on the curb sit down got a good deal and I used to hate the fuck out there motherfuckers till I seen that bankrupt I'm sitting there watching that shit I said we need moco nice yo Sam did white boy scared your fuck out of me you don't sit there with my party like hey look at them niggas robbing that Bank I said then ain't no niggas niggas don't plan shit that well he'll say no motherfucker shot out with the police but 30 minutes you'll say nigga go do a bank robber nig relay a you got your night yeah I got mine II wish you guys I got a 45 well shit nigga let's go it'd have been a short shootout cuz niggas would have had one clip white boys be planting shitty look here Jim Lee once you get the m16 get them down there with the banana clip now I want you get some take AWA KK yy-you know they have all them letters and technical terms with shit the WK FFF with the laser scope we're going in we're gonna need body armor cause by God we're getting out alive girls and this was some military plan shit you're saying the story behind the story is gonna be a motherfucker when he come out cuz this wasn't no average motherfuckers it got to get and say dude it's fuckin Rob dead fuck man come on man fuck come up yeah that's what the black people say come on no Sandy's with some military motherfuckers you remember that fool that was dumping on the police walking towards the motherfucker yo Sam ain't no niggas ever did no shit like that nigga see the police black nigga let's bounce girls in this pool was just like yes I'm coming and coming they're coming you'll say he dropped a clip had another one in there three seconds I said marina you know saying now with some straight military shit cuz you remember when the sheriff car pulled up three of the sheriff's got out and a dumping on this fool let me hide behind the trunk of the car he did that military shit they called suppression fire meaning his arm came up he didn't his arm said like that that that that's a fresh anything they thought they was doing when they went down he came up picked them off one by motherfucking one I said it to house we need mo police my money ain't safe you're saying I knew they were stupid when they rob bank of America we all know ain't no money at Bank of America you're saying that's the McDonald's of banks there's one on every fucking corner that's when I knew white people was crazy in a motherfucker and y'all let me know y'all was crazy again this week with this tigerwood shit just when we think y'all cool to hang out with your motherfuckers fuck up a little redneck jealous and shit I am bet she's gonna have chicken collard greens you better lead a little china nigger alone you're saying a billion Chinese and there's got to be a billion niggas all around planet Earth too many motherfuckers be fuckin with it and that's a little Bruce Lee nigga you ain't got that China shit him that's liking right here look nigga China [Applause] they working on the old Tiger Woods y'all gonna have your little lion woods yo Sam but Tiger Woods got a whole lot of Bruce Lee any man you see when that motherfucker take his hit on the stick them over Wow who heads Willie's a ling Ling job don't they ever lead it motherfucker cuz you seen walk out on the field if you like take a here now and Golf is changing and cuz it's a young brother plan it ain't like them old brother this been brothers before Tiger Woods I'm talking like them old brother they be like sure minds if I hit the ball now sir and they'd be like hey look you got a caddy for you no no no I cares my own bag I used to catch euros and there's a young brother from the hip hop generation you know saying this brother it's gonna be a lot of young brothers out on the field and with that much greenery we gonna barbecue yours and brothers see that much grass and immediately start barbecue girls egg you know niggas gonna be pimping out them little carts and shit have 3 wheel motion on click click it screws me where you goin night whole phone night ho [Applause] you know Xan wait till we start playing hockey when we get on the ice boy they gonna have to change the rules cuz right now they let them fight which fucks me up cuz brothers in the NBA you like Dennis Rodman getting to smack somebody fifty thousand dollar fine his grandmother's stuck in jail they killing his little sister that nigga is off the team for two years you know they fighting hockey all the time be knocking each other's teeth out Nate just give him time out getting that little poof he'll Tom's TESOL nice get in there it's gonna be a minute wait till some brothers getting hot you know brothers we throw these well brothers be skating backwards What's Wrong Fuu [Applause] he'll change the rules quicken him up but white people y'all don't need know how funny y'all are y'all a chuckle a minute you'll say I got that big issue I just think y'all funny people just the way y'all won't crack me to fuck up you'll just be all tighten shit how's it going Jimmy cuff this one no Steve Steve hey Bob y'all brothers we do everything with River Hills am brother D strolling ironing hey you could talk to a brother Mitch try he won't miss a step hey Leroy yeah what's up man try to have with somebody white Tom well what what damnit concentrate 1 2 1 2 I'd like to take this time to thank you Caucasian people for inviting us here to America that was real nice y'all know y'all laughing I'm seeing a motherfucker cuz i watch the Discovery Channel and Africa ain't a place that nigga really want to be right now come on fuckers over there starving hungry in a pump but I'm staying right here in America oh I can get a bucket of chicken for 395 pills and fuck the dumb shit man cuz you always see them starving kid commercials of Africans we look like him and eatin powdered Donuts all around it mouthing shit flies all around a damn head I'm watching last night one of them had a fly on his eyeball on his goddamn eyeball I'm sitting there yelling at the TV set Blake motherfucker blink I know they weep in their name but got down Oh get the fly off fly just roller skating around and shit Yonsei and white people when y'all get mad at us like over the OJ thing you remember that one nigga fuck up they want to kill all of fuck Oh J that's not all nigga that's y'all niggas you're saying after he fucked up you wanna send him back to us we don't want him that's gonna get he never killed nobody when he hung out with it God with y'all chop chop staff staff we knew he wasn't a nigga bundle fuckin commercials only nigga they can run through the air put through security nobody touch it let one us in here run through the motherfucking airport play click get down [Applause] [Music] why people when y'all get mad at us please stop saying this shit why don't you go back to Africa what how the fuck we gonna go back to some shit we ain't never been to jacked like we born with maps in that mall fucking our head like we'll just land over there take me to Shambu whose house now go down three elephants make a left at the line then make over there he over there we don't ask y'all to go back to England gain from this motherfucker either yeah yeah so why don't you go to Florida England don't in Gale pump check ahead [Applause] I'm going back to Africa new new new new new cuz some of them Africans do not like us black Americans they can't status from the East Coast you know what I'm talking about I was in DC on tool right first time I went to it you know saying I want to go out and see the city so I jump in the cab cuz you know nigga was broke at the time when no TV show a limo nigga was tax a so I wanted to go see the White House the Capitol and turn the Revenue Service building just in case they over tax and Nick I know what building to blow the fuck up so I'm in the cab the motherfuckin cab driver had the audacity to turn around and say you're not too rich you know black man you won't run that by me again bruh I say you're not to reach in the black man I said how black I gotta be motherfucker just cuz you wanted a nigga's he got away cuz white people when y'all ancestors came to pick us up y'all wasn't lookin for a little bony brother y'all was lookin for big cotton-picking motherfuckers and them little bony ones over in Africa set us up you don't want me look at me cough a lot of time got one nut Shambu blow they're big and strong missing him pick up a whole oak tree by himself I help you catch him I'm sitting in the back getting mad the motherfucker I said who winning in this situation motherfucker you driving me to the White House when he pull in front of the White House he looked in the back seat all he seen was an open door I was down didn't pay for shit yell back in the cab now go back to African tell him how nigger dunya is wrong you uppity motherfucker you don't say I don't know why they mad at us and anybody should be mad we should be mad at - you know saying I get white people props on this when y'all have hostages y'all go get him I don't give a fuck of his - you'll have meetings we'll care Jim Bob and Susie are trapped it's over in the Middle East now I'm gonna have to go over there you sure you want to cause an international incident over to people I don't give a good goddamn if it's one we're white we're white by God go get them they're Americans bring them home technically we've been hostages in this country for 450 years not one canoe with a nigger with a spear has shown up to pick us the fuck up and white people that slavery shit shit I need mad at you how about that for real it was in black people we'd be fuckin with y'all about this shit cuz ain't no brother-sister in this room that has been a slave we ain't none of us pick no fucking cotton we wouldn't have known shit about it if y'all hadn't have made the movie roots y'all fucked up right there wasn't like they taught it in school chapter seven slavery jabbed a beater nigga ass they never taught us it when net fucking movie roots came on that shocked the shit out of every black man in this room and when we she's like what what the fuck that's hard Wars you know that member white people y'all remember the next day we came to school and beat the shit out of yeah I know that's a traumatic experience you have to remember and y'all gave brother some fucked-up choices man everybody used to say well chop your dick or your foot you know everybody's like go right here man all right here I'll do what you got to do we're euros and that's an easy choice to make cuz you can hobble over to some pussy you can't show up with two good legs and no dick and that boat ride was a motherfucker yo Sam that was some fucked up bad shit man that boat ride cuz it ain't like it is a day you know saying a couple of weeks from here to Africa and these cruises playing shuffleboard and shit these motherfuckers was at the gully of the ship down the bowels you don't saying change to each other hundreds a month fuckers just chained together with little diaper shit on you know saying that was a year long ride cuz then with selling ships and the wind don't blow all the time you're saying you know he's sittin down there man the mother [Music] where you stop swinging your leg I'm chanting you every time you swing your leg my leg go to and you why you're shitting all the time I'm not the only one shitting where else makan the shit maintainer you china him chanted Leroy change the title damn the Shaka Zulu we are chained together nama gun shit right to you my telling you now your stink I'm not the only one shitting look at you you're taller than you were yesterday stacking shit on top of sheets on top of sheets [Applause] y'all ain't going back to no Africa I mean American we got our little problems with racism and shit this still the only country you can start out with nothing end up with a whole lot of shit where the fuck i'ma do a comedy show in Africa live from hood number three monkeys doing shitty that nigga doing the show hae-won's grab your monkey man let me finish this yo-yo Zaire now they trying to show up this ebonic shit on his man trying to call it an African dialing yo saying that shit's fuckin with me and you can't even blame this on white people what old nigga came up with this shit do you know it's one them old Harvey graduate niggas else we need something for our people I don't believe they can learn English properly what do you think Jeff I think you're right pills and trying to get an extra check for teaching some old bullshit how the fuck you gonna teach kids Ebonics they already know it yo saying the kids got pH D's in the shit cuz their kids walk in the classroom hey what up TC I'm sayin sorry I'm late don't say I was in the six-foot-one things know I'm a partner we had to deal with Knab John's on her nigga a Roy Roy Roy don't hang teacher sit now Oh Elly's insane no saying what they really doing is calling our kids stupid you know saying we all learn English didn't we so why the fuck ain't our kids learning need no damn help mother fucker I got a ten-year-old son if he want to learn German I'll put the Pato boots on him let him go glycine clinking flying tank see I get uptight you learn whatever the fuck you wanna learn you're saying custom we got punk-ass teachers now when we was coming up we had teachers that gave a fuck you know saying some of them gave too much ever fuck like my English teacher coach speech this nigga was so big and black I just called him evening and every time he smiles like the stars were twinkling I had this motherfucker first our man back can see the Missouri now it's already cold and the motherfucker outside you've been standing out there all morning in the snow waiting on the fucking bus you know saying tears then froze up on your face you got the little snot stache and shit sitting there teeth chattering you finally get on the bus he like now aren't you got no not nothing why don't you turn the fucking heat on it's calling the motherfucking this big yellow summer bitch and you get to school nigga first hour you ain't doing nothing but trying to throw out so I had this month for the first hour and I used to smoke a bag a weed just to go to school I swear to God I swear to God I smoked a $20 bag to arrive my shit was so bloodshot red people walked up to me and stopped I blink they go so I'm sitting in the classroom right and look Joni sit next to me like a man you got nothing on them joints onkeydown I said nigga I am a joint sniffed my sleeve nigga sniff my sleeve you know saying coach piece up there Griffin I want you to come up to the blackboard and read this paragraph in proper English now sitting there Heine mom funny buddy why is this room fuck me Maggie no no I'm fuckin blackboard this nigga the blackest nigga ever seen what you're sayin I ain't sayin that man damn alright yeah I can't do it I can't I can't I can't I'm sorry turn the heat on man my hands is froze man I'm a whole cat y'all y'all a wrestler class I want y'all to read chapter 24 to 27 Griffin meet me in the hallway eat March on out you know saying and you know when you get thrown out of class you got to perform on the way out cuz you can't let motherfuckers know he gots me and shit some on the way out here cut that big black motherfucker evenings negative nigger look like he need to crime the entire State Building good guerilla looking motherfucker till I got in the hallway huh what you up you like why you want to fuck up everybody else's education cuz you don't want one I'm like speech me you know I'm high I've been high all here this ain't no new shit to you man I'm high now and I'm just trying to figure out in my head why do you want to fuck up my cuz it ain't like you don't smoke weed I don't come to your house and fuck your heart so why you want to fuck up my high you know it's cold outside I've been waitin on that bus a motherfucker now for the slow ass nigga driving that bus Willie you know Willie maybe you know Willie you live next door to you Nicholas they're the same neighborhood why are you fucking with me speech that motherfucker walked up on me oh you just did oh man and you ain't nobody tell you where's nothing will take you what since you such a man you gonna get the first one right there no no cuz this meaning unities mean you right there and part of my head was like I could drop this big motherfucker you know what you hide mean right now drop this big evening motherfuck nigger they gonna call it daylight when you hit the float and the smart part of my head was like don't do it evening will kill you there'll be a hammer lands that's right Ebonics emmalin's and they gonna call your mama please open your little hand cuz hittin that nigger with that fist is like throwing the grape better start over my little shit up that fool hit me in the chest pile all the win I thought I owned just some food running down the hall put it in the bag and had it on sale Nick I hit the flow just searching for ads hold up hold up big nigga hook snatch me up ha ha this ain't legal you better check the Student Handbook man teachers ain't bows to hit kids but raise up off me bitch nigga readies up I need a snatch me back up he's like you think you can go in there speak proper English well bloody I ain't you all that gets tough you know always waiting on the chance to get in the classroom and flex more English skills get here yeah yep I got straight A's in it my foot nothing nowadays the teachers are scared of the kids but they got good reason kids can pistols change it all the way around hey tight tight come on up here to the blackboard yeah I don't feel like it I can understand that hey y'all talk amongst yourselves here I brought the stereo in case y'all want to dance up you know cuz kids man they just ain't the way they used to be weeds coming up man these motherfuckers they spoiled rotten to the bone you're saying just gonna rotten motherfuckers you know said like when we was coming up man we used to play together shit like that these little motherfuckers don't even want to go outside they stay in the house I don't give a fuck how broke you all you could be on food stamps you got a Sega Genesis at the house I never though some bitches just be right there you want what's up yo saying when they have kids they go mutate just gonna be ahead in hand remember we use the bag to go outside my mother my mother can I uh okay Kenny can I go outside not till you finish your homework too much tuna what'd you say good then when she finally let you go out when we went outside we wouldn't play by ourselves like these little bastards you see them nowadays body self they don't have friends they can take us be outside playing yeah don't you be like what the hell you doing I'm playing we wouldn't go outside and play until we went and got our partners you're saying we go right next door go get up what how you doing miss Abernathy can't can uh can Junie come out he can't come out what'd he do that's when they turn into little reporters this shit he got a woman gotta gotta whoop you got you just found out about your day into helping yesterday fool this just found out about it so I mean what'd he do you can't say but it was bad yeah it was bad huh well welcome Mikey come out get his brother Mikey come out he can't come out here good did he do it witty they did it together he got a woman who will be true Jenny then you leave there you go report to the air for everybody else in the neighborhood hey y'all Julian him got a whooping she just found out about your day happened yesterday dinner my mother put extra zoning like he's saying I was watching the whole day I was right there at the door when she start walking she had Junie in a headlock she was beating him in the head with the phone and stuff and then every time it rings you just kept doing like that voodoo child that y'all saying this like every time they play these damn computers man if they don't even understand how lucky they are you know they just take it for granted man member we used to have a GI Joe with a kung fu grip yo saying they press a button and Mortal Kombat do everything they want why would that pop up when I look at pit knows a member we had a GI Joe you had to work that motherfucker come on Joe [Applause] don't joke come on Jonah shooting it remember used to get your sisters Barbie down that's when that kung fu grip came in handy Joe holding her from behind yeah I think that was everybody's first point Oh was Joe fucking Bobby huh didn't have some other bullshit they pimping on our kids man it's gangster rap shit you know saying we losing too many good brothers over some bullshit y'all saying I work with Tupac and Biggie both of them good young brothers you know saying lost in some craziness gangster rap ain't no such thing as a fucking gangster rapper the two don't go together so oxymoron the first code of being a gangster is what silence if you were rapping you talk too goddamn much homeboy you never shut up you'll thank you telling all the damn business in the damn song had to drop a nigger with my line as they put him in the chalk line me Mookie Earl your name dropping motherfucker now we got to kill yo eggs you'll save real gangsters don't go platinum you'll never see John Gotti come and pick up a damn Grammy you'll see scarface will never accept an American Music Award you know I like to thank first I'd like to thank you fuckin on the Rutger Oh what the fuck is your name over there huh what the fuck is your name over there huh I say hello to my little friend I still standing hey Doc check motherfuckers know saying that always holic Wes hard you sword what sword niggas dying over a block they don't emo nigga your written you playing Rick nigga you're saying went hard what boy if anybody should be screaming Wes I should be some old Jewish dude that's high cuz I'm a voodoo child you're saying we got so many brothers dying young man dying that a lot of our women of becoming dykes oh just a nerve in this motherfucker y'all saying it's for come and wrap it just all these little KitKat girls running around [Music] I don't get the shit you're saying what the fuck do you get out of it you're saying she lick your pussy did what did what what I'm doing Papa titties and shit he'll say I thought my little chest in the mix no say just licking each other's pussies I don't understand it she ain't doing nothing a man can't do she eats your pussy hold up I ain't got much time digging I want all of it in here she lick your pussy will munch that motherfucker down then we can slice um dick in you you're getting a bonus plan come home to Jamaica Kujo child you're sad just always licky licky licky now don't get me wrong I don't mind the feminine ones you know still feminine with this shit cuz ain't a man in this room is gonna turn down extra pussy bring your friend along y'all saying go clean it up for me girl got clean it up fuck and when you get done cleaning get the fuck out the way I got work to do Kukoc yeah yo Sam it's the bulldogging motherfuckers to get on my nerves you know the mo butch made motherfucks run around sagging and shit he'll say hey all chopped up fucked up nose her into the lift to the air to the titty donut if it is always walking around tell me I can do anything a man can do no you can't bitch oh you can do what I can do well come on come come come this standing up without pissing all over your damn self you right write your name in the motherfucking snow go ahead try it triac you can do what I can do [Applause] food Neil Chuck then if they don't work they always talking that vibrator shit but you can't outlast my vibrator I got have already indoors hell shut the fuck up let me tell you gate Nick motherfuckers up got no sack up let you in here nah smell - pussy on the breath when he's walking [Applause] let me tell you yanking my hooks up they aint a vibrator on planet earth that could fuck with nad dick in his room oh I hear I looked out can't fuck with a man cuz the vibrate ain't gonna grab you by the back of your head shut the hell up fuck Jonah shut up shut the oh look they go turn yes oh god yeah [Applause] [Music] it ain't gonna pick you down proper then look in the eye say I love you foodies yeah cuz pussy is such a wonderful thing no no I'm again the man one more chance to show you nuts pussy is a wonderful thing you don't say pussy is such a beautiful thing and I tripped out when I found out some women think they pussy is ugly no y'all do all that extracurricular work peeling and shaming make it look like two-letter eyes shit like we give a fuck in a real man in here give a fuck about hide look bitch you could have hair down to your knees braid it up make it dipping on stopping pussy that's a pretty motherfucker cuz when you turn it sideways it look like it's smiling it you just got a kiss I would I wish there was a pussy big enough you could just walk in [Applause] ah be hit Nicollet on [Applause] you couldn't get me to come out I take that back once a month shit yeah [Applause] [Music] he's getting hot in the mall fucking man remind me at Olympics y'all saying why people why do y'all show up for the Summer Olympics that's another question you ain't gonna be the brother in the heat I'm sorry we come from the hottest continent on the planet you ain't fucking with a nigga in the heat you're saying a win Olympics - y'all shit y'all ain't got a damn thing to worry about we ain't coming niggas do not fuck around under 40 degrees weather report come on 40 I'm staying in - y'all shit you'll never see your brother winning the downslope event you don't say I don't even know how y'all SPECT take this shit walk all the way up the fucking mountain motherfucker coming down doing 90 miles an hour yeah that was Tom look like it's going good he'll always walk down and talk to him y'all's an some Olympics just stay home white people really know cuz I don't want y'all to be there and be embarrassing shit you know I don't know why y'all show up to a footrace you're gonna lose we got too much practice we've been chased by parents whose kids changed by gangs and shit the police they shoot that gun to begin to race nigga have a flashback but I got to money I'll get him open the gas like that brother what's his name Michael Johnson the gold slipper nigga that's so fast motherfucker you could tell he grew up in the hood cuz he got that hood runnin top o top y'all saying not that o technical shit you know I've been rehearsing and then the doctor said to line it up like that and the trajectory of the fifth point you knows this motherfucker all tall like we run in the hood that's from running from police toes cuz you stay up tall so you can see behind you shit if the fence come in a quick shit [Applause] and the javelin throw I might not know about the space program but I know a spear when I see one now so he's wiping wanna do this shit they call it a javelin y'all's an you ain't gonna beat a brother in that event there's a brother in the deep dark woods of Africa there's got a whole different incentive behind his throat he's used to throwing to feed the village he could hit a bird at two miles yos and they come to him are you ready to throw Jim Buccaneer we're not look all ready to fucking throw sure we're going up walk here can you go over and translate and ask the fucking guys you ready to throw them then we go to win a window cuz one night Chim Chim Chim Chim that mean hell yeah hell yeah that motherfucker got a whole ritual before his throw he grabbed a spiritual come on their shit back away when I when I wake up shit go away with five pitches on either side with feathers and she don't well it was loud [Applause] vector cooling when i Kunichika seems you come on a white official be down there what the hell is this Nicholas oh Lisa ladies y'all got to start giving up the pussy cuz it's not your pussy oh you believe in the Bible you believe in God tell you in everybody on Google Quran King James Mookie Mookie young your whole rent get you all of them say God created man that's right we was first we was first and we gave up a real so that y'all can't even fucking exist we didn't give up a rear foot way you a how come you ain't coming home while y'all was out your friends gonna let me just hold it oh I don't know come back here come back here let me talk to you wait your mom come on we give up no real for they give Yap shit we gave up a real for some pussy you just carrying it around for us that shit ain't yours and y'all be sitting sending mixed signals you're saying you go out in a little miniskirt half your pussy hanging out shit you're saying month fuckin walk up to you in the ball D go immediate dick talk cuz eyes have seen pussy hanging out must won't dick Vixens that's right let's go over there then you get over there you be like ya seen you sitting over here by yourself you know I was wondering if you want me to buy your drink something you know I don't want to be bothered right now bitch you could have not been bothered at fucking home why the fuck you don't come out have your pussy hanging out your titty sitting up like they own the train served up class some jeans or something stop drinking my dick [Applause] yo San y'all come out and all kind of little skimpy ass shit you never see a man the pair speedos what is nut hanging out on the side [Applause] I know a lot of y'all probably wanted damn nigga how'd you get this dang food and child it started with my grandmother who's from down south like every black person in his grandmother's from down south cuz that happened to be where the ships got dropped off nigga start migrating to other places y'all saying so my grandmother man she had two chickens I didn't know she was in it at voodoo voodoo shit two chickens in the backyard we look kids he's go out and feed him and shit and have little fun with him I named him little late laying titi and one day my grandmother take me on the back yard she catch one of them by the head spun him around to the fuckin head popped out body just running around you can see the little head in her head just like why you wanna do that I thought we was cool with you you know you fed me yeah I I play with you look grandkids and shit you know I'm watching my body running around now bitch what the fuck up I'm losing oxygen she took to my head shit you know what though i black out bitch me fuck you and I'm sitting there as a kid in a state of shock man this is my little buddy little late lady and she cooked the motherfucker off that night I'm going in there there's no lay lay on the kitchen table and she like eat up how the fuck you gonna eat your friend it wasn't like it was a strange bird I got it - damn groceries doing didn't know that's Lele I can't eat Lele hunger playing start setting in Lele look good mom fuck I had to snatch no late late let go that's only cuz we friends man see I always got you with me oh shit how many I believe in aliens I think there's some aliens for real how many I believe smart motherfuckers rest y'all arrogant his mother yo saying cuz you got to be out your fucking mind to think we don't only shit in the universe yo soon you look at all the divers life on this one planet birds snakes alligators lions tigers and bears oh boy I mean look at a diversity just amongst human beings y'all saying like God gonna create all this life here and then just say alright everything else will be lights light it up for him at night you know say hell yeah some motherfucking aliens out here reason they don't come here bad news travel fast we known throughout the universe as the fucked up planet that's why motherfuckers say they seen the UFO they don't say it landed came in the house a cook at dinner you know sad dumb motherfuckers ain't landing shit they be on the spaceship man this is probably just the fucked up planet tour they get a little pamphlet chick cause 500 kugels to come to this motherfucker motherfucker sitting on the spaceship looking out the window hey come on let's go down there let's mess with them what did you shut the fuck up they fight over black and white we purple what the fuck you think they gonna do to us now look you're out the window let's go no Sam and there's one man on this planet that looks like a fucking alien Michael Jackson all that down bleaching I still don't believe that's his child can't make me believe it Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick that is the whitest little child I ever seen he's in need of sunscreen number nine he hums there Mike didn't bleach the fuck out of his shit yo saying you can bleach yourself all you want to but you can't change your genetic code cuz I remember that off the wall knows he ain't trickin meet him Jackson has some nice trows young man if he took a breath in here we'd all die suffocation you know that you can't make me believe that's his child but I feel sorry for the child man you know saying is just imagine heaven Michael Jackson that's your father running around with a glittering diaper on you don't said having a monkey as your older brother bring your friends in the house like what you're doing your brother swinging from the chandelier throwing shit I feel sorry for the child man cuz seven years from now man it's gonna be a trip little Michael come walking in the house from school wish it daddy daddy I want to talk to you man I want to talk to you now you know the rest of the kids are chasing me home from school daddy they're taking my lunch money of $1,000 a day daddy they said you played with the little boys daddy is it true daddy is it true daddy and you know Mike's still the man right then you know Mike still the man Michael me sitting there getting mad naman fucker come here Junior come here come here don't you ever question me in my house or any of my houses [Applause] cuz when you do it at you know what you're doing it get doing wrong get going wrong keep going wrong oh you're doing wrong Junior come here stand right there right there right there [Music] spin around [Applause] I didn't want to have to do this jr. but you brought it on yourself man spanking time [Music] [Applause] get your little ass up get up get up man up now go on and go outside stop being a little punk until your friends daddy didn't do it go on tell him daddy didn't do it gon walk on out of here not like that the way daddy taught you the way daddy taught you [Applause] fucking little kid it's on my damn nerves where's my crack pipe need a fucking hit I need a fucking hit it's getting on my fucking nerves [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Applause] y'all have been more than generous to me from the bottom my heart man I want to thank y'all for coming down and blessing me tonight with our energy I love the fuck out of y'all I'm Sam I just want to say look around man all these different nationalities cultures and shit how we came together and been cracking up like a motherfucker together y'all saying now watch how crazy the human race is you're gonna walk out that dough and lunacy will take back the fuck over he'll say white people walk out grab your personal niggas are behind us come on come on no Zen just got through laughing with a bunch of niggas come on come on they're gonna get us they're gonna get us you're saying and brothers we've become doubly crazy we look at the white man lady he all that here we look at each other that nigga thing he hall noticing you'll say that we could come together like this have a good motherfucking time how come we can't carry this shit out on the streets and let it spread [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Applause] [Applause] [Music] yah-hoo [Music]

Info

Channel: ABM2010yo

Views: 6,135,182

Rating: 4.7486658 out of 5

Keywords: Eddie Griffin (Film Actor), Comedy, National, Funny, Humor, Stand, Family, Anthem, Comedian, Fire, Humour (Literary Genre), Hendrix, National Anthem

Id: ho_r24dlPTQ

Channel Id: undefined

Length: 56min 28sec (3388 seconds)

Published: Mon Jul 02 2012

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