Hey, Ed. What's happening? It's a little early
birthday gift for you. Oh, wow. Just what effort you went to. That's from right on
the lot, Pequito Mas. [LAUGHS] It was easy. Thank you so much. That's so nice of you. You're welcome. This is my birthday gift? [LAUGHTER] It is, from me. Yeah. I hope you get something else. Yeah. [LAUGHS] OK. I couldn't give you the house. Yeah, I'm waiting
for your house. I wanted to-- Ellen wanted to buy my house
a few years ago for Porsche. Yes. So her birthday is next week. So maybe-- [LAUGHTER] My wife would kill me. Really? You don't even use it! You're not even there. I do. I use it a little bit. It's a tiny little house,
and it's a great house. And I'm envious. I'm not envious that often,
but I'm envious of this house. Well, I was going through your
book backstage on your homes. Yeah. You're doing OK. Yeah. [LAUGHTER] That's a beautiful book. Yes. And that home, if I owned
it, would be in that book. Can you imagine? [LAUGHTER] Yes. I would add it to my book. So thank you for
the birthday gift. And-- I have to say, I'm a
little insecure today, because normally-- I've been on the show
a number of times, and I've always had
some funny things that happened to me that were
said in a way, but funny. Do you know-- OK. If you didn't know this--
so Brittany Spears goes up to him in an airport and
says, "Can I get a picture?" And he just thinks she's some
girl that wants a picture. [LAUGHTER] So he takes the
picture, and this goes viral. It goes-- and he has
no idea who she is. [LAUGHTER] [APPLAUSE] I mean, look at-- he's thrilled. Look at his face. He is absolutely-- And so the next day, my
manager sent me this and said, "There's 53,000 likes." I said, "Who is it?" [LAUGHTER] First of all, I didn't
even know what likes was. He had to tell me what it was. He said, "That's
Brittany Spears." I said, "Oh my God." But anyway, there was-- I have a similar story. OK. And that was some
years ago, I went to my favorite Italian
restaurant in the evening, and it was getting dark. And I recognized
a friend of mine who was sitting out
front with his wife, and there was a kid sitting
next to him with his wife, I assumed. But I couldn't see them well. It was getting dark,
and I sat down. And the kid that I thought
I knew, but wasn't sure, it was a black kid, and he
was talking on a cell phone. So I'm now talking to my other
friend, and he says, "Ed, would you say hello
to my brother? He's a huge fan, and
he wants to say--" now I hate this,
because you don't know who you're talking to. And I said, "Yeah, sure. I'll say hello." So I get the phone,
I said, "Hi." "Hi, Mr. O'Neill. Oh my God, I love your work." And I said, "Thank you,
thank you very much." "Yes, and I hope you're
successful in everything you try to do. And I really watch." I said, "Thank you
very much, thank you. Listen, I got to go now. See you." And I hand the phone
back to the kid. And he gives me kind of a funny
look like, "That was weird." And my friend says, "So, Randy,
what are you going to do-- you're going out
of town next week?" And I go, "Randy? Randy Jackson." It was Michael Jackson. [AUDIENCE GROANS] Yeah, got to go, Michael. Don't-- [LAUGHTER] Not, "I love your work." Not "Geez, haven't you
had a wonderful career?" Just, "Yeah, hey, you
know, I got to go." [LAUGHTER] Wow. That was-- Yeah, no, that's sad. [LAUGHTER] That's a sad story. I mean, it is-- you're right. You have sad and funny stories. It's a mixture. Yeah. And then I had another one too. Who? I went to Sarah
Hyland's birthday party, and this beautiful young
woman came up to me. Now when I go to these things,
I don't look at people closely. It's sort of-- it's
a bit overwhelming if there's a lot of people
there you don't know. Some celebrities. And so this woman came up
to me and said, "Hi," again. "Nice to meet you." And I would say, "Hi, yes. Nice to meet you." And I know she's famous,
but I can't place her. It's "You want a selfie? Let's do a selfie." I said, "Sure." So I do, and then I
text my daughter Sophia, because she tells me-- Who that was. --who that was. And I said, "I desperately
need to know a name, so that when I leave
and say the name." Yeah. "Wonderful to meet you." And so I don't know if
you have the picture. [LAUGHTER] And she said, "I'm
having you committed." [LAUGHTER] So you really didn't
recognize Taylor Swift? No. No. I mean, again, I only see
them when they're performing, you know? Yes. So when you see them
in the backyard-- Yeah. I wasn't-- I thought it's
a pretty girl, but I-- Yeah. You see, I'm-- and
again, it's old. I'm getting old. No, it's not old. I do-- no. And I think it's just
we meet a lot of people, and I'm sure you
get the same thing. Like people go, "Ellen!" And I don't know if they're,
"Ellen!" because they know me, or "Ellen!" because
they're fans. And so I go, "Oh, hey!" And I don't know that balance of
how to say, "Hey, I know you," or "I don't." Well, I did say "Nice to
meet you, Taylor," when I-- Yes. --left the party. Well, that's-- so
you knew the name? That's good. [APPLAUSE] All right. You've celebrated your 200th
show of "Modern Family." It's a consistently great show. [APPLAUSE] Is this-- I hear
that this is going to be-- next year is going
to be the last season. We're contracted through 10,
and then it's open ended, but the feeling is that's
probably going to be it. Really? Yeah. From everybody? Does anybody want to keep going? No, no. I mean, I don't know how they
feel about going on, if we-- I just-- you know? We're contracted through
10, and then we'll see. But I don't know. Through 10 this year,
or 10 next year? No, this is our ninth year. We're finishing our ninth-- Right, right. --in March. And then I think-- and then we're going one more. Right. So that would be 10. Yes. I see what you mean. I thought you meant 10 episodes. And I did 11 on
"Married With Children." Yes. That's a lot of-- You've picked a
lot of good shows. Well, I mean, it
was complete luck. And then what will you do next? Will you keep working? This is the question
I've been getting. And I tell people I've never
made a plan in my life. I've never-- I just
don't make plans. . You know? It's like we'll
see what happens. Yeah. Wow. I mean, plans don't usually-- my plans don't usually work out. Well, the plans that
did work out were good. I mean, like the fact that
you didn't have plans, and you did "Married With
Children" for 11 seasons, and now you're doing
this for 10 seasons. Yeah. That's-- we should follow
your path of no plans. [LAUGHTER] Well, when I read this-- when I went and met
the producers, I said-- Lloyd and Levitan. I said, "Look. You know, guys, this
is a courtesy meeting." Now you know, you're not
supposed to say that. But I didn't know that. And I said, "Because I did the
sitcom already, I did 11 years, I don't want to do another one." Yeah. And they just laughed. And they said, "Well, would
you read it when we write it? It'll be about a year from now." And I said, "Of
course, I'll read it." Because their
reputations were great. "Frasier" and "Golden
Girls," just shoot me. And so a year later,
I get this script, and I thought, "Oh,
this is that show." So I read it, and I
said, "I got to do it!" This is why they have
courtesy meetings. Yes. So anyway, I called my
manager, and I said, "I think I have to do this show." He said, "Too late! They're after Craig T Nelson." Oh, no. And I said, "OK, well,
you know, that's OK." And then a week later,
they came back to me. And they said that Craig
couldn't make the deal, and they're back to you. I said "Do it." So he said, "They're not
paying you your quote." I said, "Do the show. It's a hit show. We'll get even later." Yeah. I said, "Just do it. It's a hit. You can't miss." And I had no clue who was
in it, didn't know anybody in it, nothing. I just showed up and
said, "It's a hit show." You were right. I was. I haven't always been right,
but I was right with that one. Yeah, no, that's good. And you were right
with our little movie that we did with "Finding Dory." I mean, he was great as-- [APPLAUSE] --Hank. That guy. "Modern Family" airs
Wednesdays at 9:00 on ABC.
Cake day
"i'm that old guy in modern family"
"oh the gay ginger"
"no omfg man"
Happy cake day!
I just love him.